Rapier Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I want to be a stay at home father who spends time with his kids and keeps the house clean and in-order Uh How do you think you'll accomplish this? I find it very hard for any woman to accept having their husband act like a house-wife (sorry for the lack of better term) while they work to put food on the table. You may argue that gender roles is an artificial social concept and all, but people do follow gender roles, no matter how little. I doubt you will be able to find a woman who will be glad to accept to bring money to the table while you stay home earning nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KP 2010 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I just want to say good luck with finding a stable job and a girlfriend. I hope you manage to keep up the improvements you've made to your lifestyle and keep striving to do better! I think some people on this thread are coming across as quite harsh, which is a shame because the OP does seem like he is genuinely putting in the effort to try and change his life for the better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shin Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I think some people on this thread are coming across as quite harsh, which is a shame because the OP does seem like he is genuinely putting in the effort to try and change his life for the better. Whilst their words aren't necessarily as kindly put as they could be, it's potentially the only way that they'd be able to motivate Snowy to make change. Whilst his attempts have at least been in the right direction, the magnitude required isn't quite at the level it should be for anything significant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I think some people on this thread are coming across as quite harsh, which is a shame because the OP does seem like he is genuinely putting in the effort to try and change his life for the better. I don't think some of them are coming across quite harsh enough. In Snowy I see a lot of myself, and I'd guess the same is felt by others here. If I had five minutes to beat the tar out of my eighteen-year-old self I could have changed my world completely. You never really get it until you make those monumental changes and wake up one day and realize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy_One Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 The info you give in previous posts contradicts the info you're giving in this post. Not just the previous one either: I got this job when I was about 15ish and Mom had an opening. She offered, I took it. That's a LOT different from 'I'm just going to wait around until she gets one for me'. It's still true that she generally cooks dinner for you. Why do you rely on her cooking when she's around? Do it yourself. Does your dad do anything at home? No. He does not. And no, mom does not 'generally cook dinner for me' anymore. She's not home enough to do much more than make a stew to eat later. When she is home YES she cooks and YES I eat it, but I ALSO cook at times (like I did tonight) and, if my oven-mastery was greater, would likely be the only chef in the house. If this is true and you're not exaggerating, then I forgive you. I am not. And 'delaying going to meetings' and 'being late' are two different things when we usually try to be at least 15 minutes early. When we do delay we still get there 10 minutes early. This almost never happens either. It's just an example of how important eating meat is and, even if mom was not involved in any way, would still have the situation play out the same way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiki Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 (edited) my oven-mastery was greater What do you make for your parents, seriously? Using an oven is way easier than, for example, pan-frying something. It's just like using a microwave, but you adjust the temperature and you let stuff sit in for longer. There's nothing to master about it. Why do you find it difficult? Edited April 20, 2015 by Chiki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skynstein Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 (edited) You don't need to be a grade-A cook, though. I can get by with basic things. Then again, eating outside home in the USA may not be cheap nor healthy. If you want to stay at home you could be a freelancer in your area of expertise. But, unless you have means to finance yourself, you need a job. I have a friend who is 40 and still lives at Hotel Mama and also has a girlfriend, but he has a job. Your future wife will expect you to help with the expenses, because raising children is becoming ever more expensive. Also, Chiki and others may have been too harsh IMO. Not everyone has the talent and the opportunity to succeed. Not everyone is assertive like society demands. The West is facing a crisis and it's hard to find jobs. Cut the guy some slack. I mean, he lives in the USA, where parents have to sell an arm and a leg to finance their kids' education. Edited April 20, 2015 by Cerberus87 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Life Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Snowy, stop being obtuse. You're losing sight of the general point (you act rather worthless and don't really want to change yourself) by nitpicking at points (no, we're actually 10 minutes early). I kinda hope that you actually get tossed out of your house so that you can sink or swim. Because right now, you've spent 25 years of being coddled like a toddler and it's pretty ridiculous. Coming from someone whose parents live on the other side of the world and has to finance himself entirely by working 60 hours a week (including rent and food), I think you're acting pathetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Then consider going back and studying something relatively useful to get a job if you can afford it. I think this is the most overlooked piece of advice in here. I find it hard to believe that a double major in Psych and Geo(regardless of how light the majors are perceived to be) has to rely to temp agencies for work. You know Starbucks is hiring right? And I'm sure there are other places that have online applications too. Why haven't you applied for those jobs yet? And I was going to call Life out on his post but now I'm beginning to understand the frustration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skynstein Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I think this is the most overlooked piece of advice in here. I find it hard to believe that a double major in Psych and Geo(regardless of how light the majors are perceived to be) has to rely to temp agencies for work. You know Starbucks is hiring right? And I'm sure there are other places that have online applications too. Why haven't you applied for those jobs yet? And I was going to call Life out on his post but now I'm beginning to understand the frustration. A double major? How come? These aren't easy professions to find jobs at, and having hundreds of majors won't help him if he applies for something like Starbucks where majors are irrelevant. "Starbucks is hiring" Ok but where? Not a walk in the park to leave home for a faraway place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiki Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 (edited) Not everyone has the talent and the opportunity to succeed. Not everyone is assertive like society demands. The West is facing a crisis and it's hard to find jobs. Cut the guy some slack. I mean, he lives in the USA, where parents have to sell an arm and a leg to finance their kids' education. If he goes to an in-state community college then tuition is very cheap. I also doubt that he double majored, he was just saying that he has talents in psych and geo to sound impressive. He could go back to school and study something like education or culinary arts which would allow him to get a job much more easily. Edited April 20, 2015 by Chiki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 A double major? How come? These aren't easy professions to find jobs at, and having hundreds of majors won't help him if he applies for something like Starbucks where majors are irrelevant. "Starbucks is hiring" Ok but where? Not a walk in the park to leave home for a faraway place. I assumed he had a double major but it doesnt seem like that is the case What do you mean "okay where?" They are hiring everywhere, and its only a matter of entering your zipcode and finding the nearest store. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prims Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 All of OP's issues seem to stem from lack of self-awareness. If you're not gonna listen to good advice then at least work on that so you'll be able to take the good advice later!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skynstein Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 If he goes to an in-state community college then tuition is very cheap. I also doubt that he double majored, he was just saying that he has talents in psych and geo to sound impressive. He could go back to school and study something like education or culinary arts which would allow him to get a job much more easily. Hmmmkay. I assumed he had a double major but it doesnt seem like that is the case What do you mean "okay where?" They are hiring everywhere, and its only a matter of entering your zipcode and finding the nearest store. I'm sorry, I don't know how this works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Life Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Are we really having a discussion about how a degree figures into having a "no skills required" job like... pouring coffee? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Seems the most accessible for him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiki Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 (edited) Are we really having a discussion about how a degree figures into having a "no skills required" job like... pouring coffee? He's scared of cooking something in an oven.. making coffee at Starbucks might be way too much for him. I think he should go back to school personally, maybe doing something with kids is right for him. Edited April 21, 2015 by Chiki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Life Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 He's scared of cooking something in an oven.. making coffee at Starbucks might be way too much for him. I think he should go back to school personally, maybe doing something with kids is right for him. As I said earlier, if Snowy gets kicked out of his parents' house, he's on the street within a week. He doesn't understand how to take care of himself whatsoever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiki Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 As I said earlier, if Snowy gets kicked out of his parents' house, he's on the street within a week. He doesn't understand how to take care of himself whatsoever. I don't agree that he should be kicked out. No one in Snowy's situation would do well after getting kicked out instantly, myself included. He has no friends and he doesn't have a real job and no way to get it. It's especially hard in America. Even if he got a job it would take at least a month or two for him to get enough money for a rent. And that's being very generous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Wright Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 As I said earlier, if Snowy gets kicked out of his parents' house, he's on the street within a week. He doesn't understand how to take care of himself whatsoever. where are all these people that can bounce back onto their feet within a week? lol no one can do that. i would agree he should try to find a job helping kids in some way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skynstein Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Does the USA have social care or that's only an European thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiki Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 (edited) Does the USA have social care or that's only an European thing? Very limited. Almost none. And it varies from state to state. Edited April 21, 2015 by Chiki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skynstein Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Very limited. Almost none. And it varies from state to state. I don't think it'd work for him, though. If he was homeless, they'd just tell him to go back to Hotel Mama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy_One Posted April 22, 2015 Author Share Posted April 22, 2015 As I said earlier, if Snowy gets kicked out of his parents' house, he's on the street within a week. He doesn't understand how to take care of himself whatsoever. I would think it would be 'instantly' since I don't have anywhere else to go or a job. Heck, I wouldn't even have an address for them to send my paycheck too. While I might be able to actually survive out in the wilds for a decent bit 'professional hobo/bigfoot lookalike' is not the sort of career I'm intent on trying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiki Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 So, do you still want to be a stay-at-home father? What do the ladies of SF think of stay-at-home fathers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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