Anacybele Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 (edited) I've put this in serious discussion, because frankly, it's really fucking serious.Something terrible happened... It...it's unreal. I found my brother in my parents' room...dead, blood everywhere. At first, I thought he fell and slammed his head, but then I saw my stepdad's gun in his hand. He killed himself. He killed himself.Why...? WHY?! He never seemed depressed, let alone suicidal. He was only 16...And my grandma died two years ago, Satoru Iwata died last month, now this. Why is God doing this to me? My life was going pretty nicely before all this. I got a job, really awesome gaming stuff happened, I've started looking at apartments...I might have been annoyed as all heck at my brother sometimes and say I hated him, but I just hated his habits...Now, after what I saw... All that...that blood... I...I'm so messed up I can barely type. I'm literally traumatized now.Suicide is NEVER the answer, people. Somewhere, there are people who care. All our neighbors are supporting us right now through this pain. Suicide may end YOUR pain, but it also causes others a lot of pain. DON'T FUCKING DO IT. Edited August 17, 2015 by Anacybele Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy_One Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 I'm... probably not the best person to talk to about this sort of thing, but Ana... Things are horrible right now. I know that, you know that, and so-forth. Grieve for now because it is the time to grieve and mourn. Your brother did something horrible but he was still your brother and, I assume, you looked up to him and loved him. But remember that there is always a new dawn and that there will always be people there to help you. I've, personally, considered suicide myself several times because of how depressed and horrible I feel at times, especially after people decide to mock me. However I remember that there is always a new day tomorrow and hope that things will be better. I know I'm not really a 'friend' but if you need support I will always be there for anyone, including you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 Yeah, you're absolutely right. What I saw though...it's going to haunt me forever... I'm going to look for a support group... It sounds like a good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy_One Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 That's always a good thing as real people will always trump online friends. Having someone you can feel and touch and cry on their shoulder is a huge thing. Even a cat can give a level of intimacy and comfort that the internet cannot provide. But remember, we're here for you, and you know it. Otherwise you wouldn't have made this topic. When you get the chance try to rest. Things are always easier to deal with after a bit of time to reflect instead of dealing with it in the heat of the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 Yeah, that's so true. My dogs have cheered me up whenever I was sad. I just posted cause I needed more people to talk to while I'm in a hotel... Speaking of which, I actually wanted to get away to one and have a little vacation. Careful what you wish for... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celice Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 My brother has a terminal disease, and fell into a coma last month. I was a complete mess. Luckily he is making a recovery, but not everyone is so lucky. Many people lose their loved ones every day.Earlier this year, one of my niece's friends wandered into her family barn and found her older brother hanging from a beam. There are many ugly parts to life. Always reach out for help or comfort when you can. Emergency support numbers, family, support groups, local therapists, and anyone you think might help make things at least bearable. I am sorry that you're forced to experience such a horrible thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 (edited) Yeah, I want nothing more than to reach out right now... I'm sorry about what your niece's friend went through though, that's horrible too. Edited August 16, 2015 by Anacybele Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Raven Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Man I'm sorry, I don't know what it's like to have a sibling commit suicide (though one or two cousins have come close) but I offer my condolences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 Oh, Lord Raven, thanks so much. We don't exactly get along great, so I appreciate this. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacLovin Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 (edited) Holy Shit, that's damned tragic. My condolences. Edited August 16, 2015 by Starfox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 Thanks... I'm doing my best to get through this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZemZem Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Wow, that's awful, Ana... Don't worry. You'll find support, and we have your back, as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 I can't even fathom how bad this must be. My deepest sympathies, you must be going through a rough time right now. I can't really think of much to say, I've always had trouble with loss myself, but when someone I care deeply for passes, I always think about what they would want for me, and for the rest of the family. I don't know what else there is, these wounds take time to heal. Friends and family are the best places to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 Yeah, I'm going to cheer for the Packers in the NFL, even though I don't like them much. My brother did though. I think he'd still want them to win. Thanks, guys. My phone is dying though.. Ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunwoo Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Holy fuck … Ana, I am so sorry to hear this. Something like this should never have happened. Try to find someone to talk to, and I don't mean people on the Internet. This is something you need to consult a professional about. Just do whatever you can to get through this time in your life. And I wish the best for your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stargirl Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Ana, I'm deeply sorry for what has happened. As people have mentioned, I hope you get/find something to help you through this difficult time. What would be majorly upsetting is you being unable to heal. I wish with all my heart the best for you and your family. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Refa Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 That's...horrible. I don't always see eye to eye with you, but noone deserves to go through something like that. I don't know how I'd deal with a similar situation myself. Yeah, I agree w/Boron that you should definitely find someone to talk too (and I'm sure your parents could use the help as well, considering it'd be just as traumatizing for them). I wish you and your family the best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shane Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 I'm really sorry to hear; sorry beyond words. I can (and perhaps everyone can) relate to losing loved ones. It's obviously a very painful feeling. I have lost so many through suicide, manslaughter, cancer, health problems... you name it. Having a big family means more losses, it's scary to think about. I have seen my fair share of messed up shit in life. And you're right, suicide is never the right way to go. I have attempted it twice out of depression, and both were foolish and stupid decisions. I'm truly sorry you are having to go through this, no one should ever go through this. May he rest in peace. My thoughts go out to you and your family. As for help, as others said, company will always help you immensely. Family, friends, pets, support groups, etc. You also have us for advice too, of course. Make sure you don't lose focus on life, and keep yourself busy and distracted in order to move on. Just remember, it's always okay to feel sadness, anger or whatever you feel. Also be sure to be there for the rest of your family. Just know you're not in this alone. Whatever helps you, just go with it. I have a hard time writing these kinds of things so I apologize if any of this doesn't help. Please stay safe, you can always PM me about whatever's on your mind. I know we haven't met, but I'm always open to new faces. Again, may your brother rest in peace. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedi Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 I'm so sorry.. Ana, I can't even begin to fathom.. You and your family will be in my prayers.. This is tragic and I can't even say the words to comfort you.. If you need to talk to someone, I'll be available. It may not be instant but.. Damn.. I'll try my hardest if you need me to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euklyd Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 (edited) Oh my god.That's so awful; I can't imagine what you're going through right now. Even though I don't think I can understand the depths of what you and your family are feeling right now, you definitely have my sympathy.I'm glad that your neighbors are there for you, and I hope you're able to talk about it with a grief counselor or similar as well. The importance of finding a qualified person to help you through this really can't be overstated.(Of course, that doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about it with other people as well. If you need someone to talk to, or just someone to listen to you, you can add my name to the list of people who've already offered in this thread, even if we don't always see eye to eye.) Edited August 16, 2015 by Euklyd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DodgeDusk Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Since I'm afraid I might end up saying something insensitive, all I'm going to offer is my condolences, and echo the others above me: speak to a professional Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renne Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 It's most unfortunate that anyone has to witness something like this. I'm sorry for your loss and for your family too. I understand the loss of a loved one, though not to suicide, but a loss nonetheless. Also, though your brother may not have seemed depressed or suicidal, sometimes people are just really good at hiding their true emotions and suffering. But I must say about your last line... I don't think you can really understand what goes on in the mind of the suicidal. Yes, it'll antagonize their friends and family if they go through with the suicide, but sometimes life gets too overwhelming for us to continue on. For the depressed and/or suicidal, they don't have the usual coping skills or resources as the non-depressed person. Sometimes it's just seems like suicide is the only way out. I'm not trying to minimize your pain or anything, but just trying to put out the other side for you to attempt to understand why one might go through with suicide. Or even contemplate it. It is painful for both the victim and their family. So try to be strong through it all. Even if you might get angry at your brother for what he's done but try to understand him too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 I really can't say I've gone through something like this. My grandpa died when I was very young, but I don't really remember him. One thing I will say, though, is please don't think God is doing anything to you. One thing that never helps in this situation is blaming yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naughx Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 My condolences... Even if I pretty much just repeat what others said - I've really no idea what to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aretty Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 ... Wow. That must have been shattering to see.. I'm sorry for you and your family. Please, speak to a professional. I hope you and your family can get through this. I really do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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