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Feedback for Thracia UV


General Banzai
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Haha, I've found this very entertaining so far. I hope you follow through with this all the way.

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You're missing a [/b] there.

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17:56 Anouleth writing bad sex jokes

17:57 Anouleth about rape

17:57 Dark_Sage what did i walk in on

17:57 BRShooter wonder how much weed he bought

17:57 Anouleth http://serenesforest.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=31250

17:57 Dark_Sage rape jokes in the first sentence?

17:57 Dark_Sage goddammit

17:58 the a main character full, brshooter

17:58 BRShooter lol

17:58 Dark_Sage you know i wish people would realize

17:58 Dark_Sage that making bad sex jokes and writing random shit does not make you funny

17:59 Anouleth SEE IT'S FUNNY HE CALLS HER TANYA BUT HER NAME IS ACTUALLY ANTONIO AND SHE TELLS HIM BUT HE IGNORES HER

18:00 Anouleth "Hey sis, give me my Hero Axe!

18:00 Anouleth I pawned it to sustain my heroin addiction."

18:00 Anouleth hahaha

18:00 Anouleth so funny

18:00 Anouleth just like in that Dane Cook special

18:00 *** hinako\study is now known as hinako

18:02 Dark_Sage Dane Cook?

18:02 Anouleth he's the least funny comedian in the wrolld

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This actually reminds me a little of The Legend of Shining Pikablu.

I'm unfamiliar with that.

I expected comparisons to GhebFE, based on your complaints of it.

Which of course would make me qq, because I'm not too fond of GhebFE. I do appreciate the criticisms however.

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What's REALLY funny is that I've never actually played Thracia untranslated, so I'm pretending this is a literal translation of the game. Makes it SOOOOOO much better xD

Seriously though, fuck the haters. This is golden. My god I am dying here.

Edit: Finished it. Damn I want more, I'm addicted now.

Edited by Klokinator
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There's funny, and then there's random for the sake of being random. It's a hard balance, but if you learn how to do it right, it works. Problem is, this isn't the right balance. Call me a hater for disagreeing with you, but I think this needs more humor and less random for the sake of being random.

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There's funny, and then there's random for the sake of being random. It's a hard balance, but if you learn how to do it right, it works. Problem is, this isn't the right balance. Call me a hater for disagreeing with you, but I think this needs more humor and less random for the sake of being random.

Oh, I definitely understand. That you feel this story has too much random is a legitimate complaint and means I'm not doing my job right.

I'll try to fix that in later chapters, although you'll probably see random elements continue for the next four or so chapters as I've already written them.

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IMO, humor must have an element of truth. I think Leaf had something going, but then he was eliminated from the story. Fin might be on the right track. Everyone else. . .not really.

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IMO, humor must have an element of truth. I think Leaf had something going, but then he was eliminated from the story. Fin might be on the right track. Everyone else. . .not really.

I find humor in the perversion of truth. The world of this story is like a surreal counterpart to the actual Thracia game, in which everyone is off in some way or another. Sometimes I take that "off"ness too far and the humor gets random and reliant on rape. Hopefully I can reign that in somewhat.

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I don't mind surreal or off-the-wall humour. But there's stuff like

18:00 Anouleth "Hey sis, give me my Hero Axe!

18:00 Anouleth I pawned it to sustain my heroin addiction."

I don't even understand what the joke is supposed to be. Oh, that wacky sister with her non-sequitur HEROIN ADDICTION! What crazy hijinks will she get up to next, huh? That's just what the Simpsons was always missing; a heroin addict! I love the bit where she gets killed robbing a convenience store; it always cracks me up!

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I don't mind surreal or off-the-wall humour. But there's stuff like

18:00 Anouleth "Hey sis, give me my Hero Axe!

18:00 Anouleth I pawned it to sustain my heroin addiction."

I don't even understand what the joke is supposed to be. Oh, that wacky sister with her non-sequitur HEROIN ADDICTION! What crazy hijinks will she get up to next, huh? That's just what the Simpsons was always missing; a heroin addict! I love the bit where she gets killed robbing a convenience store; it always cracks me up!

It was actually set up when Othin said that Halvan's sister was literally a whore.

Because, you know, whores and their heroin, amirite or amirite?

The whole idea is, of course, to contrast the innocent face sprite of Halvan's sister, complete with freckles and ponytails, with the terse and abrupt "I pawned it to sustain my heroin addiction." It's a contradiction to what people expect.

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Okay... chapter 2 is pretty bad. If you have more chapters, I think you should really rethink posting them here as of now. I didn't think this chapter was very funny at all. See, the last chapters had some sex jokes, calling Mareeta/Blonde chick a whore, okay maybe a little too far, but chapter 2 was entirely about sex, really over the top. Not only that, but I don't think we need child rape in the story either.

I hope chapter 3 is more palatable xP

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