how can one manage between their activities and their obsession

[Djeets]

i tought holiday is a place where i can have fun and do all the stuff i cant during my school time

and finally i finally got my long waited 2 months holiday

but after halfway through i realized that all i did was doing the same routine on my laptop (namely SF,checking notifications on facebook and samurai siege), abandoning all holday only targets stuff

i call that obsession

and thus i realized i cant manage my time to do other activities and just do my daily obsession over and over -A-

help me break free from this habit TAT

but how x__x

[MercyWalk]

It's not an obsession, it's a habit. "I can't manage my time" is a pathetic excuse because you literally can assign all that shit to an hour a day. I lived the NEET life for a bit, once you break out of your shell you can still hold those interests like anime or coding. Do a physical activity or something useful and make that an obsession.

Why aren't you going to do more social things? If people aren't inviting you out to do stuff, ask someone to go out and do something with you, if you still prefer to be alone, chase a new interest.

[Passionfruit Cappuccino]

Why aren't you going to do more social things? If people aren't inviting you out to do stuff, ask someone to go out and do something with you

I think i need to do that more too >_>

[Djeets]

i always wanna try do new interest, but once i found they are troublesome to hell, i dropped it quickly .w.

i wanna try composing remix/arrange someday...

[Integrity]

"someday" is a horrible trap that you get to need out of. the key is decisiveness. act, don't plan.

i'm gonna try composing remix/arrange today.

ftfy. now fuck off of sf before i throw you in purgatory for your own good.

EDIT: very good advice: get somebody to keep you honest. find somebody you trust who will give you hell for disappointing them, tell them your goals for the day, and if you don't fulfill them have them tear you a new asshole.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Integrity

[Phoenix Wright]

when you're on break, the world is your oyster. i usually take the time to learn a lot and fuck around a lot.

as alb said, if you're not getting invited to places, you should be the one doing the inviting (if you want to hang with people). be proactive! break is the time to have a pretty good social life!

it's also a great time for learning. i don't know where you are, but as an example i'm in los angeles, where there's dozens of museums and other places of learning that are great to go to. take friends, pick somewhere, and go. plus, there's the internet so you can learn about anything--read about the middle east or about boxing in the 1960s with muhammad ali or about the russo-american space race. learning is a lot of fun when you're not in school.

keeping the mind and body fit, along with whatever amount of social interaction you're comfortable with, makes for a pretty fulfilling break. life, even.

[Freohr Datia]

Incredibly blunt way to put it (I know some don't like blunt answers...) but Integrity is right, that advice is what I took to vastly improve my performance in shcool.

If there's something you want to do, I would try setting either schedules or exact dates/times for it. To help keep to them find somebody to tell about your plans. When I did this I found it helped motivate me to try keep to my word so I wouldn't fail them x3 To help yourself remember, you can either ask that person to remind you (well, it would also help if they're a reliable person~) or you can write/type down reminders where you know you'll find them and hopefully that would get you remembering and fulfilling your plans on time.

Good luck getting stuff you want done =o

[Lord Raven]

So I don't like the idea of schedules for time management. I personally function better when I have a list of things I need to do during the day (so for instance, read a chapter or two of this book, beat a gym leader, beat the first dungeon, read another chapter or two, finish 4 problems on the homework) and instead of planning it out specifically I just set goals.

I'm not saying my method is superior but I don't find myself sticking to schedule; I find myself able to do things though.

And honestly if neither of these work then there are always other ways to manage your time. You have to find something that works for you.

[Freohr Datia]

Yeah I figure it probably couldn't work out for everybody, people are all different =o

I don't like setting schedules either. It works wonders for me though so I do it anyway because it keeps me on track.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Freohr Datia

[Rewjeo]

A couple thoughts. If you just sit down and do it, it really can be that simple. Over my break, I've been teaching myself both piano and German, and mostly I just sit down and do it and that works. But I also didn't start until about a month into break. There really is something to be said for just not doing anything for a while. If you've had a particularly busy/difficult/whatever time leading up to break, just sitting back and recovering for a bit isn't bad.

[Phoenix Wright]

hoo boy, that's a good point, actually. i had a particularly stressful last-quarter-before-break, and once i met my goals, break started i really didn't want to do anything. so yeah, as rewjeo said, spending a little time doing nothing at all isn't bad for the soul either.

the trick is, of course, to not let yourself make a habit of it--being lazy. a couple days of doing nothing probably won't hurt, but a couple of months will make it hard to change.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Phoenix Wright

[peener weener]

"someday" is a horrible trap that you get to need out of. the key is decisiveness. act, don't plan.

this is good advice.

EDIT: very good advice: get somebody to keep you honest. find somebody you trust who will give you hell for disappointing them, tell them your goals for the day, and if you don't fulfill them have them tear you a new asshole.

this is bad advice. as a rule of thumb positive reinforcement is good, discipline/punishment is ineffective. having somebody you trust telling you how disappointed they are with you and how much of a failure you are is a stupid fucking idea and will only serve to make you feel even worse.

[MercyWalk]

very concerned with OP tbh

Keep us updated

[kii]

I agree with fuccboi... Positive reinforcement is the best way to progress in life. And with that, I think it helps me a lot when I set my self up for a reward at the end of whatever I do! For example...Today I will work on [insert thing I want to do here], and once I have done that I will get [insert snack or fun activity I like to do]. Giving yourself something to work towards and reminding yourself constantly of the end result is the best way to work up motivation to do things in my opinion!

Also, if you relate it to things like school work, or a project you need to get finished, a really good way to get it done effectively is to break up your time. 45 minutes of doing a thing, 5 minute break, and back to the thing for another 45 minute, 5 minute break, repeat. Every few sessions give yourself a 20 minute break. It's scientifically the most effective way in getting stuff done...and I think you can apply it to fun activities and hobbies you wish to master. Alternatively, 30 minutes of work, 30 minute break, repeat, also works!

I hope you found something that works for you, however.

[Freohr Datia]

this is bad advice. as a rule of thumb positive reinforcement is good, discipline/punishment is ineffective. having somebody you trust telling you how disappointed they are with you and how much of a failure you are is a stupid fucking idea and will only serve to make you feel even worse.

Hmmmm well yes I do agree with this~ But I also don't think it's entirely without benefit

He uses a mix of positive and negative reinforcement on me.

And... once when he had used negative on me it kind of ruined me for almost the entire day~ But since he's taught me positively most of all, it's gotten me to reevaluate what I'm doing rather than spend too much time putting myself down. Now I try to make sure I don't mess up again so I don't disappoint again! ^o^ B-because I don't like to disappoint~

So idk, maybe having a decent mix can be real successful? Or well I mean it has been successful on me but on others?

Edited August 23, 2014 by Freohr Datia

[Rapier]

act, don't plan.

Listen to the Joker, he knows what's best for you.

Jokes aside, it works pretty well. Think of it like jumping in a cold pool. You feel reluctant at first but after you do it, you realize it was not so bad and that your courage paid off.

In short: "Just do it already".

[peener weener]

And... once when he had used negative on me it kind of ruined me for almost the entire day~ But since he's taught me positively most of all, it's gotten me to reevaluate what I'm doing rather than spend too much time putting myself down. Now I try to make sure I don't mess up again so I don't disappoint again! ^o^ B-because I don't like to disappoint~

that's what i was talking about. negative reinforcement will almost always have negative reactions. plus disappointment can be interpreted as patronising.

Or well I mean it has been successful on me but on others?

this is probably true, and it's also probably true that other methods might be even more successful w/ you. i stick to what i said.

[Freohr Datia]

that's what i was talking about. negative reinforcement will almost always have negative reactions. plus disappointment can be interpreted as patronising.

this is probably true, and it's also probably true that other methods might be even more successful w/ you. i stick to what i said.

I wasn't trying to say you are completely wrong though. I said I agreed, just I don't think it'll always be completely wrong!

I don't really deal well with negative reinforcement at all, but I think what positive I've received might have helped me try overcome it in a more positive light.

Though I've had some people tell me that they do pretty well with negative reinforcement because of their competitiveness. They say it makes them strive to do better rather than succumb to thoughts of defeat or self-pity.

I'm certainly not one of those people x3

So I guess each "right" or "wrong" answer just differs, so there's no definite right or wrong! I mean I'm sure that is common knowledge for many, though

Edited August 23, 2014 by Freohr Datia

[peener weener]

competition is different than discipline, though. i agree that mileage may vary, which is why i mentioned it as a "general rule of thumb"

Edited August 23, 2014 by fuccboi