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Official FFTF Horoscopes


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22/10/14

Aries

Keep strong in the face of adversity. The eye of the storm will not dare to approach you.

Taurus

Take solace in the size and strength of your larger, tougher friends. You will find gems hidden in small, unloved places.

Gemini

Today will hold thousands of small defeats. In the long run? All are insignificant.

Cancer

Today is the perfect day to get over your Madonna/whore complex.

Leo

You will find your soulmate today waiting in an unlikely place. They will be sexually incompatible with you.

Virgo

Just give up. Nothing good will happen starting from when you leave the door. Just lie in with some popcorn and watch eighteen episodes of Come Dine With Me.

Libra

Refrain from incest. An unlikely number of workmates will be wearing the colour purple today.

Scorpio

Beware of close friends outing themselves as Western Sydney Wanderers fans. Do not engage in the Poznan.

Sagittarius

You will encounter at least three tweets marked as #freeyayo. Do not panic.

Capricorn

Today, your sense of feng shui will utterly and totally betray you. As a result, do not replace your front door without consulting your spouse first.

Aquarius

If you eat fish today, its taste will turn to ashes in your mouth.

Pisces

You will come into violent dispute with an Aries. Don't try to argue. Just run.

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They will be sexually incompatible with you.

They will be sexually incompatible with you.

They will be sexually incompatible with you.

They will be sexually incompatible with you.

They will be sexually incompatible with you.

They will be sexually incompatible with you.

nooooooooooo psyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyych

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Taurus

Take solace in the size and strength of your larger, tougher friends. You will find gems hidden in small, unloved places.

I know, I do ;u; Gasap I guess that means I have to go treasure hunting!!

Edited by Freohr Datia
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Aries

Keep strong in the face of adversity. The eye of the storm will not dare to approach you.

I guess I did keep strong in the face of adversity today!!

Edited by Nobody
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I know, I do ;u; Gasap I guess that means I have to go treasure hunting!!

Let's go together! I'm sure we'll find more treasure that way.

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Scorpio

Beware of close friends outing themselves as Western Sydney Wanderers fans. Do not engage in the Poznan.

ah, thank goodness i'm American.

so there for, i wouldn't really care for Wanderers fans

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I'm Virgo... Let's see here...

...

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...But I finished today's work

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Ooh yeah~! Together I'm sure we could find it aaaaalllllll

I wonder what im waiting for

but time is ticking away

whenever I open the door

there's another one but i cant stay

I stop and think of you my friend

I wish you were by my side

now the kid I used to be

is here again to take my control

and the kid you used to be

is asking me where is my fearless soul

its alright somehow ill find

the treasure we were looking for!

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I'm cancer but that does not apply to me at all, I mean I don't wear make up and I'm not in a relationship right now and I'm not looking for one, so this is way off.

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I'm cancer but that does not apply to me at all, I mean I don't wear make up and I'm not in a relationship right now and I'm not looking for one, so this is way off.

you can still totally have a complex about it

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