123 replies to this topic

[Dat Nick]

Anything Smash can do, I can do better. And I'm more than prepared to prove it.

Marth: Alright guys, some punk called Gazzack just took over the castle. Cain, Abel, I'm inferior in every parameter to you two for now, so I'm not gonna do much except maybe kill stuff you get to really low HP.

Cain: Gee, THANKS.

Abel: meh, fine by me. Also I have javelin hax and you two don't

Gordin: I have chip damage, yay!

Shiida: I can double shit, I guess...also im getting 2RKOd which sucks

Jagen: Bitch, ah can hit stuff with mah SILVER LANCE!

Draug: ...watch this. Imma take three hits from these pirates and not die.

Marth: Get real, nobody can do that!

Draug: oh ya? *does so*

all: wtf!!!

Draug: oh ya also get this *stands on a fort, takes FOUR hits, and still isn't close to dying*

Marth: omgwtfbbq!!! hax!!

Jagen: Nooooo! My earlygame utility!!!

Gordin: My chip damage! D:

Marth: Yeaaaahhh, you guys are so gaiden sacrifices. Draug can solo this whole freaking game!


*c2*

Draug: Alright, jsut try and-WTF!??!?! I'm 2RKOd now! Also my hit rates suck and so does my damage! What haaaaapppenneeed!?!?!?

Marth: uh...guys...i think we found a new gaiden sacrifice...

*c4*

Draug: Hay guys! Hunter hax!

Shiida: pft, like you'll do much with tha- why is your speed so close to mine?!

Draug: hah, and I don't have to eat melee counters like you, so my shit durability doesn't bug me as much! Suck on that, Lachesis Jr!

Shiida:

Marth: Will this guy make up his mind if he wants to rock or suck?!




_____

Why things are broken

Two game designers, nicknamed Moe and Larry, are sitting at a table, having just received reports from the beta players.

Larry: So Moe, apparently they're saying the game is too hard! Like, way harder than FE5 hard!

Moe: Huh. Well, I guess we'll just have to make it easier.

Larry: But Moe, how?

Moe: Well, two things. Nerf enemy stats, or buff player characters....! Larry! I just got an awesome idea!

Larry: What's that, Moe?

Moe: You know those two putzes, Zagaro and Wolf?

Larry: Yeah?

Moe: They're too useless. Let's make em suck less.

Larry: But Moe, HOW? Zagaro and Wolf are like, the worst units in the game!

Moe: And they should stay that way...how about this? We treat em like, say, Radd.

Larry: I don't follow you.

Moe: Simple. Their base stats suck ass, but their growth rates are AWESOME. With, say...somewhere in the triple digits of HP and 80% def growth rates as HERO, they'll be pasting together pretty solid Endgame stats!

Larry: Erm...but Moe! Won't their crappy growth rates make them too good, too fast?

Moe: Larry, look at their base stats! Nothing above 10! And they'll take forever to level! I'm still convinced these guys are like, low tier at best!

Larry: Well, okay Moe, if you say so...

*one year later*

Larry: Erm...Hey Moe? You might wanna check this out.

Moe: Serenes Forest...huh. What about it?

Larry: A bunch of kids on there are saying that Zagaro and Wolf are lolbroken.

Moe: lol, those idiots!

Larry: No, a lot of it makes sense...like, Reclassing makes their base stats suck way less. Zagaro as a General starts tanking pretty uberly in like, 3 level ups, for instance.

Moe: Yeah, like he's ever gonna GET those in any reasonable timeframe! 5 EXP a kill! Lol!

Larry: Um, Moe, you do realize we totally screwed with the EXP formula for no real reason, right? Lvl 1 promoted guys get, like...13 EXP a pop off of base level enemies, not really that much worse than the 20 or so EXP your other guys at that point will get from killing stuff.

Moe: wtf? why didn't anybody tell me about that?

Larry: Well, uh...moving on, it turns out their crappy start doesn't really stand out, seeing as how most characters in H5 go through some sort of suck period at some point.

Moe: Uh...uh...well..uh...they might struggle to kill stuff, and defense isnt THAT imporant...

Larry: wtf? This isn't FE7 we're talking about, Moe! Your other units aren't exactly one rounding every single thing on the map with no effort...hell, I don't think ANYBODY one rounds consistently the whole game. And defense not being important? In a game where 2 or 3 hits kills most of your other guys as opposed to Zag and Wolf taking tinks? Yeah, RIGHT?

Moe: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[Generic Operator]

Funny story.

[Colonel M]

I'm leaving but I must give this 5 stars and mah support before I leave.

[Rodykitty]

I fully approve of this topic.

EDIT: I posted this on GameFAQs, but I figure this topic is appropriate.

Fire Emblem class descriptions

Lord: Horseless Social Knight
Thief: Buyable keys in unit form
Ballista: Ridden by Stormtroopers
Social Knights: Better bases and growths than 90% of the characters in the game, and 9 Mov and Lances
Pegasus Knights: Flying Social Knights
Dragon Knights: Flying Paladins... With Axes and superior bases
Paladins: Galloping Pure Waters
Archers: FF1's Thief
Snipers: FF1's Ninja
Mage: Archers that do actual damage, have actual move, and can even double
Dark Mage: Mages with less HP, less speed, and less damage
Clerics: Anyone that joins reasonably enough is useful as one
Sages: Red Wizards
Bishops: Red Wizards that have been Photoshopped with the brightness cranked up
Sorcerers: Red Wizards that have been Photoshopped with the brightness almost none
Swordfighters/Swordmasters: They can double anything in the game. They can't damage anything in the game.
Fighters/Pirates: They can double anything in the game. They will kill whatever they touch.
Beserkers: Those things from Gears of War
Warriors: Promoted form of Hunters
Horsemen: A mix between a Hunter and a Paladin, with none of the advantages of either class. Their speed is garbage too
Heroes: The United States Army. Swordmasters with Axes
Generals: Freaking machines that Skynet keeps churning out and never dies, ever
Mamkute: Eliwood married one
Chameleon: All of the above, and in pretty much every fan doujin

Edited by Chainey, 24 July 2009 - 07:58 PM.

[Phoenix Wright]

Jagen: Nooooo! My earlygame utility!!!

lol

[Dark Legend Vampire]

I fully approve of this topic.

EDIT: I posted this on GameFAQs, but I figure this topic is appropriate.

Fire Emblem class descriptions

Lord: Horseless Social Knight
Thief: Buyable keys in unit form
Ballista: Ridden by Stormtroopers
Social Knights: Better bases and growths than 90% of the characters in the game, and 9 Mov and Lances
Pegasus Knights: Flying Social Knights
Dragon Knights: Flying Paladins... With Axes and superior bases
Paladins: Galloping Pure Waters
Archers: FF1's Thief
Snipers: FF1's Ninja
Mage: Archers that do actual damage, have actual move, and can even double
Dark Mage: Mages with less HP, less speed, and less damage
Clerics: Anyone that joins reasonably enough is useful as one
Sages: Red Wizards
Bishops: Red Wizards that have been Photoshopped with the brightness cranked up
Sorcerers: Red Wizards that have been Photoshopped with the brightness almost none
Swordfighters/Swordmasters: They can double anything in the game. They can't damage anything in the game.
Fighters/Pirates: They can double anything in the game. They will kill whatever they touch.
Beserkers: Those things from Gears of War
Warriors: Promoted form of Hunters
Horsemen: A mix between a Hunter and a Paladin, with none of the advantages of either class. Their speed is garbage too
Heroes: The United States Army. Swordmasters with Axes
Generals: Freaking machines that Skynet keeps churning out and never dies, ever
Mamkute: Eliwood married one
Chameleon: All of the above, and in pretty much every fan doujin. Also, Kirby and Shang Tsung

You forgot Hunter on the list. Also added more to Chameleon.

[Thunder Mage Ilyana]

lolololol! the serenes forest part was funny!

[Dat Nick]

A similar situation:

Two developers, Nick and Miles [shut up I needed two names] discuss the need for a worst character in the game:

Nick: Well damnit, Miles! It has to be SOMEONE! You can't have a bunch of characters in the game and not have ONE of them suck!

Miles: I know that, I know that! But who do we make awful?! There's, like, FIFTY options!

Nick: Hm...that shouldn't be rough...Let's take an already bad unit...Hey...Hm..Joins way underlevelled and way late usually constitute for crap characters...I've got it! We already nerfed Radd who didn't need to suck any more than he already did, let's make Est so bad it's terrifying!

Miles: I don't understand...how do we make her worse?

Nick: Well, you know how the only thing making her usable was the fact that Mercurius was overkill offense on most other guys by that point and she actually needed the X2 EXP gain, this entitling her to it more or less? Well, Since H5 has something resembling difficulty your other guys actually need the sword now, but to add insult to injury, let's ditch the Sword's EXP boost!

Miles: And for insult to injury...let's make her decent growth rates worse than what they were!

Nick: Yeah, now you're thinking! Although...

Miles: Yes?

Nick: People on the internet have quite the Est fetish...I'll imagine this won't go down well.

Miles: Nick, Est is a mediocre unit already. You honestly think they'll even NOTICE her suck?

Nick: ...Good point. Alright, next order of buisness for crappy game design: Falcoknights. We should put them in somehow!

Miles: Indeed. It's kind of hilarious that no matter how badly we try to make the Falcoknight class suck compared to dracos, fanboys obsess over the Falco anyway!

Nick: Hm...say, around the same difference between them in FE10?

Miles: Maybe not THAT blatant, but okay, what do you have?

Nick: Alright, let's give them swords, this being a useless addition already since we couldn't be assed to change the weapons of 95% of the enemies in this game, so you aren't bumping into anything but lances. Next, let's give them a res lead, hopefully giving fanboys the false idea it actually matters when it really doesn't since there's pretty much only one chapter stacked with magic users by the time your peg units promote. Now, we give them WAY lower str/def promotion bonuses and an only SLIGHTLY better speed cap that doubles like, two things the Draco can't. And to top all this off? The Dracoknight gets axes, making their insane def lead go even further since, again, Lances! Oh yeah! And just to be funny, let's make it so that you can ONLY promote into a Falcoknight at the Online shop, which will ONLY sell Elysian whips on a certain day, so not only does this class suck and nobody reasonable would ever pick it over Draco, you'll only ever have the option of even choosing it for four days a month!

Miles: Um...Nick? That's almost as blatant as FE10.

Nick: Miles, we're dealing with fanboys here. Just watch...

*One year later*

Nick: ...Yeah, you see? There's...quite a few people advocating Falcoknight Est.

Miles: ...No comment...

Edited by Norton Sez What?, 24 July 2009 - 09:13 PM.

[Rodykitty]

Frey is ridiculous

Hachi and Pachi were sitting at a design table, discussing what they should do for the Prologue.

Hachi: So we have four mini-chapters, right? With the Akanaean members of the army escaping. Anything special we should add?

Pachi: Hmm, I know! It'll have better dialogue and story than the entire game! Since GameFAQs would likely troll the game for having an NES-era story, we'll include a bit of story to ward them off!

Hachi: Brilliant! We gotta keep those review scores up somehow, but what if they see past that?

Pachi: We'll include a new character into the game. He'll be like Abel & Kain, but blue, kind of like Fin. He can have base stats like Kain's, but with less HP, and he'll have better growth rates than both of them. We'll give him 35% Str growth instead of Abel's 40% to completely hide his base Strength lead on Abel. Let's call him 'Frey'.

Hachi: Whoh. Abel & Kain are already pretty strong. Do we really need three of them at once?

Pachi: How about we give incentive to not use all three of them by making Kain join later than them, giving Abel and Frey both a level lead. Then, we'll give both Frey and Abel a D in Lances, and Kain an E so that Kain will be behind in using Javelins.

Hachi: This is the FE fanbase though! They'll swarm to Kain like a rattlesnake since they love Swords so much.

Pachi: This is true! How do we give incentive to only use two Social Knights?

Hachi: Well, Frey isn't in FE1 or FE3. How do we explain that?

Pachi: Oh! I have an idea. How about a chapter event where you are forced to sacrifice a unit in order to progress? You put a unit on the fort, and that unit is gone forever and the door to finish the chapter is unlocked. Since Frey isn't in FE3 Book 2, players will surely choose him as the canonical sacrifice!

Hachi: But what if they sacrifice Jeigan or Gordon instead? They both suck badly compared to this Frey dude!

Pachi: Remember Marcus? Titania? Seth? These kids have to be used to Jeigans being overpowered by now! There's no way they would choose Frey over Jeigan.

Hachi: Well, okay, but what about Gordon?

Pachi: Hmm... We never mentioned anything about him yet. How about we make him an enemy in the last chapter. He already sucks, so let's make him suck more by denying him any of the EXP that the Social Knight trio and Marth are getting. We'll call him 'gaggles', haha.

Hachi: Wow! That's a great idea. We're already making units that suck even worse, so this is a great way to make Gordon continue to suck!

Pachi: Gordon can't double, not even on Normal Mode, and we'll keep the Archer's old five movement with horse-like terrain, so he'll continue to be obsoleted by Hunters. To make people think that he's worth something, we'll give him high defense growth as a 'buff', even though his base defense is so low that it won't matter much.

Hachi: What if people decide to kill off Gordon? As a sort of mistake?

Pachi: Well, Gordon sucks, so we should reward players for being smart. Let's give them a girl archer. She'll have high speed growth, but pathetic base stats and strength growth. She'll actually be worse than Gordon until her growths kick in, and will mostly be there to please the Rebecca fanboys. Since her base strength sucks so much, we don't have to worry about her turning into a Pegasus and doing some good, so we can continue to spotlight Sheeda as the main Pegasus Knight!

Hachi: What if they kill off two units in order to get both Archers?

Pachi: Their loss! Haha!

Hachi: Haha!

Edited by Chainey, 24 July 2009 - 10:53 PM.

[Rodykitty]

At the dinner table

Sakurai: Let's take away FEDS WiFi's multiplayer depth as well!

Iwata: How would we do that? We actually have a very nice balance between units. Maybe not perfect, but a good start to build upon for future FE games.

Sakurai: Well, you know forging and online shop, right? This will be our portal to screwing up WiFi.

Iwata, after eating a pea with a fork: I'm listening.

Sakurai: We'll add Brave weapons in the game. Players will be forced to wait a whole month to get them all, and they'll have 7 Mt, meaning a fully forged one will obsolete Silver Weapons completely.

Iwata: Ooh! You are a smart one! But what about weakness hitting weapons? Some can even one hit KO a unit, and what about critical hits? A team revolving around criticals could possibly one hit KO with Killer Weapons.

Sakurai: Oooh, Iwata! You can't stop me and my Metaknight! You see, I have the most ingenious plan to take away all depth from the game and any point in using any other weapons. We'll add cards to the game. We'll disguise this feature as having trivial bonuses such as +1 strength or defense, and some interesting ones like altering how Fog of War works, but then we'll add two cards, Apotrope and Dazzle that everybody will use and completely make effective weapons pointless and negate all critical hits.

Iwata: Now we're talking! You just made the game revolve around Swordmasters!

Sakurai: And there's more! We'll completely neglect to add weapon triangle reversing weapons to the online shop, but Brave weapons are okay even though they weren't in FE1! This way worse classes won't have much chance by exploiting WT reversal weapons. Then we'll completely neglect to add Luna to the online shop, so that Sages, Dark Sages, and Bishops won't be able to damage everyone with maxed Res!

Iwata: Sakurai you genius you! You're such a professional! What you did to Brawl was ingenius! But wait! You mentioned max res, few units can get decent Res.

Sakurai: And we'll keep it that way! We'll decide not to give the Star Orb its bonus growths, not even as a Normal Mode specific bonus, so that way the only way to max all stats is to use an AR or to RNG abuse like a monkey! *shivers* The community will be SO DELIGHTED TO ARGUE OVER WHAT'S LEGIT!

Iwata: (Laughs)

Sakurai: (Laughs)

Edited by Chainey, 25 July 2009 - 12:29 AM.

[NoNameAtAll]

*Snip of awesomeness*

But-but, Sakurai overhyped Brawl! There was little to no hype about the Wi-Fi!

SAKURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI!

Edited by NoNameAtAll, 25 July 2009 - 12:29 AM.

[Phoenix Wright]

This topic is full of win.

[Rodykitty]

Intelligent Systems hates Dark Mages

Beck and Jake, messaging each other during a long session of Lineage II.

Beck: So we're planning on making Dark Mages a playable class, and their promotion called 'Sorcerers'.

Jake: Sorcerers? It's about time their promotion name resembled something to do with Dark Magic and not sharing name space with Light Magic Shamans. Heck, the only name that would make more sense would be Warlock. But wait, does this mean you're adding Dark Magic tomes to FEDS?

Beck: Not at all! There is no dark magic type in FEDS, so they use normal elemental magic. To add insult, we'll make Worm look like a dark magic spell even though it never really was. Dark Mages and Sorcerers really exist to give Gharnef his own class, and for Class Set B to have their own Magic using class.

Jake: Doesn't sound too bad, actually, since Elemental magic is pretty good.

Beck: But we can't have these guys actually being good, you know, so instead of making them slow and powerful, we'll make them slow and weak. The only stat they win is Defense, but we can't have them winning that over time either. All of their growths will be lower than a normal Mage's, and since this class belongs to the Class Set B, most of the characters that can use it will have very poor HP growth and absolutely no Def growth because their other classes provide the bulk of their durability growths.

Jake: Wow man, that's pretty twisted. Can you at least tell me about the notable users of this class?

Beck: Well, there are none really, unless you count Gharnef. We decided to give Cord 10% base Magic growth so that nublets will think that he's one of the best magic users in the game, but we'll give him only 20% HP growth, and no defense growth, so anything you think about Mages being frail applies doubly for this guy. Then everyone else suffers similar problems, but with even less magic growth. We'll make the only playable default Sorcerer have bad speed, so that he'll never rarely double anything on normal mode, and get doubled by most enemies on H5 mode. In order to make players think he's awesome, we'll make him look like Canas with red hair, and also give him feminine hips like Lucius so that flamboyant men will sing his praises and constantly overrate his ability!

Jake: Geez, can't you just have one decent Dark Mage?

Beck: Alright, fine. We'll give Caesar 10% Magic growth, and he'll have good HP growth and speed growth at that, making him the only balanced Dark Mage. However, he obviously joins underleveled so it's much like getting Linda a bit earlier.

Jake: Hey! I need some buffs.

Beck: Why don't you ask your several female support options!?

Jake: Grr!

Edited by Chainey, 25 July 2009 - 04:55 AM.

[Mr. Francis York Morgan]

Intelligent systems.... I am beginning to think isn't really intelligent. More like dumb as hell. Also lol at everything in this topic. Sadly its all true.

I swear a retarded monkey could make better design decisions than they do. Why the hell did they nerf est even further?! And then they couldn't even be bothered to fix any of the other characters that were bad in 3.

[Rodykitty]

Intelligent systems.... I am beginning to think isn't really intelligent. More like dumb as hell. Also lol at everything in this topic. Sadly its all true.

Nevermind that FEDS is one of IS' most solid take at FE game mechanics and balance to date. The only reason for a lot of this "dumbness" is really stuff that existed in the original FE1 as well, as well as Norton Sez clearly suggesting that the Zagaro/Wolf issue is a mistake, and not intentional.

I guarantee you, if IS takes so much care and love with the game mechanics and intricacies into a new FE not bound by FE1's laws, then you'll suddenly think IS are geniuses, and we wouldn't be able to make a topic like this.

Why the hell did they nerf est even further?

WiFi. And she gets "nerfed" the same way Oguma does, in that the stat scale increases and it is no longer easy to ram stat caps.

And then they couldn't even be bothered to fix any of the other characters that were bad in 3.

They did try to fix some characters in 3, which is why Vyland is now pretty good and Zagaro & Wolf are broken. Most pre-promotes in 3 were actually pretty good, and still are decent outside of H5.

They tried to turn Roshea into a high attack but slow machine, which only really works on lower difficulty modes, and they made Matthis into more of a Lowen-like unit.

[Mr. Francis York Morgan]

Nevermind that FEDS is one of IS' most solid take at FE game mechanics and balance to date. The only reason for a lot of this "dumbness" is really stuff that existed in the original FE1 as well, as well as Norton Sez clearly suggesting that the Zagaro/Wolf issue is a mistake, and not intentional.

I guarantee you, if IS takes so much care and love with the game mechanics and intricacies into a new FE not bound by FE1's laws, then you'll suddenly think IS are geniuses, and we wouldn't be able to make a topic like this.

WiFi. And she gets "nerfed" the same way Oguma does, in that the stat scale increases and it is no longer easy to ram stat caps.

They did try to fix some characters in 3, which is why Vyland is now pretty good and Zagaro & Wolf are broken. Most pre-promotes in 3 were actually pretty good, and still are decent outside of H5.

They tried to turn Roshea into a high attack but slow machine, which only really works on lower difficulty modes, and they made Matthis into more of a Lowen-like unit.

Well I guess your right. I just wish they wouldn't add things in one fe game and then take it away in the next like let's say the support system (just weaken earth and it would be a pretty balanced system) from 10, fixed mode from 9, support conversations from fe6-9 (just have the supports convo's be for specific character and everyone else gets a generic support), base conversations from fe9-10, the scrolls from fe5 and shards from 3, skills from fe4,5,9,10. It's like a give and take with this fricking series. I like reclass and H5 but god forbid we can't keep what the previous games established and still maintain some balance.... It's not like we get top of the line voice acting or AMAZING cutscenes and graphics and stuff like that. I am not gonna rag on the games story since I find them to be enjoyable.

If they add even one new thing... guess what 5 of the other things HAVE TO GO!

Edited by Lancelot, 25 July 2009 - 09:05 AM.

[Rodykitty]

FEDS was meant to be like FE1, not like FE12. Their intention was always to show us what FE1 was like, with its more simple gameplay over a thousand game mechanics like FE5.

[Dat Nick]

Lucius so that flamboyant men will sing his praises and constantly overrate his ability!

Hm...I wonder who THAT'S referring to.

Gaidens:

Soda: Argh! Look at all the useless units in this game!

Vodka: Well come on Soda, they can't ALL be winners!

Soda: I know that, but still...Macellan, Tomas, Linde, Matthis, the utility characters after their utility wears off...do we really need to haul around all this fail in our army?!

Vodka: Hm...perhaps it's time we attempted to inject some common sense into FE players!

Soda: And what does that mean, Vodka?

Vodka: You know how people only really use a set team throughout FE? We give people the option to bring different characters to different chapters based on strengths/weaknesses for that map, but, ya know, nobody ever does that?

Soda: Yeah...

Vodka: We'll make life WAY easier for those can figure out that you don't gain a damn thing from having putzes like Gordin, Bord, and Matthis just sitting around in your convoy, sucking.

Soda: ...You've lost me again.

Vodka: It's simple, Soda. We're going to make FE fans kill off all the useless units they're not using so they can get over this "MUST KEEP EVERYONE ALIVE" complex. I mean, do you REALLY restart FE7 if Wil gets killed mid-chapter?

Soda: Well, no, but...considering the obsessiveness some people get over no people dead, I'm not sure how this is going to fly...

Vodka: Simple! We'll throw generic units with iron weapons in their place. Oh and their stats REALLY suck!

Soda: Vodka...even Roshe would be better than one of THOSE things, I'm sure.

Vodka: Ah, but not quite, Soda! You see, these generics keep coming back, and coming back, and coming back...their weapons intact! So the more generics you accumulate, the more dough you get! And yeah, there's a crapload of money in this game already, but hey, more the merrier, right?

Soda: Hm, and you aren't entitled to worry about the safety of these guys since they regenerate...meaning cheap meatshields, always useful on H5!

Vodka: Now you've got it, Soda! But that's not all! You know those gaiden chapters? Well, we'll put those in, but you've got to kill a crapload of units to get there, but hey, all worth it for more EXP and items for the units you actually use, right?

Soda: Yeah! This is a great idea! Even fanboys won't be able to see by this one!

*one year later*

Vodka: WHY DO I HAVE TO KILL OFF MY GUYS TO GET TO GAIDENS? WHY DO I HAVE TO SACRIFICE SOMEONE AT PROLOGUE? WHOSE BRIGHT IDEA WAS THE GAIDENS?! Sigh...Facepalm...
Soda: Double facepalm...

Disclaimer: Gaidens were an awesome idea, hence the praise.

Edited by Norton Sez What?, 25 July 2009 - 09:14 AM.

[Dat Nick]

Base level Beck can one shot 20/1 Falco Est:

No, seriously.

Arrowspate has 12 MT, effective coefficent is X3. Beck has 6 base strength. 42 ATK. This is one rounding Est's 30 HP and 12 def.

Est sucks. Falcoknight sucks. Falcoknight!Est is one huge cesspool of suckage...and some people actually advocate it.

Reverse Psychology:

Wanna prove Lilina fanboys they're wrong, but don't want to write a wordy dispute that goes right over their head?

Find a longwinded BS Rant on how Lilina>Lugh because "omg the RNG is random!". Now replace any usage of "Lilina" in that post with "Lena". Similarly, replace any usage of the word "Lugh" with "Merric".

And if THAT one goes over their heads, they're a lost cause.

Edited by Norton Sez What?, 25 July 2009 - 10:21 PM.

[Rodykitty]

It isn't hard to become a useful healer

Granted, I say it isn't hard, not that anybody can become a useful one, but I digress.

Healers are basic. They have crappy stats, and they heal people. Simple enough. However; People seem to believe that Rena is the best healer in the game, because she comes in Ch. 3, and due to her beautiful looks, gives the impression that players won't be screwed over training her instead of Wrys. Granted, players won't get screwed over training Rena, but they won't get screwed over with Wrys either.

This is because the only stats a healer actually cares about for the purpose of healing (combat is a different matter altogether) and using other Staff tricks is Staff Level.

Let's look at vs. , the latter treated like a Jeigan. But is there seriously a huge gap between these two statistically?

Rhys Lv. 1 HP 16 Str 0 Mag 2 Ski 5 Spd 6 Luck 2 Def 3 Res 6

Rena Lv. 3 HP 16 Str 0 Mag 2 Ski 7 Spd 8 Luck 8 Def 3 Res 7

She actually isn't really winning at base level. The only reason she'll heal better than Wrys is because of instant access to Mend, but Wrys can easily catch up. Lol skill, and lol Luck.

Level 20?

Riff Lv. 20 HP 19.8 Str 0 Mag 5.8 Ski 8.8 Spd 9.8 Luck 9.6 Def 3 Res 14.55

Rena Lv. 20 HP 18.55 Str 0 Mag 6.25 Ski 11.25 Spd 11.4 Luck 18.2 Def 3 Res 15.5

Suddenly the gap between these two is not so big. Wrys is actually close behind in most stats, except for lol luck. He's actually winning HP, but there may be things that Double Wrys that don't double Rena.

Of course, Rena is still much better, thanks to early warp and Mend advantages and Hammerne, but for the actual purposes of healing, Wrys actually isn't that bad if Rena isn't.

So what does this mean for other characters?

Due to the magic formula being Mag / 2, having a large magic lead no longer matters when you are a healer. Some will argue that it matters, but don't listen to them, since the single digit leads in healing is easily replaced by higher level staves, vulneraries, or even just using multiple healers to stack healing.

So with that, it is indeed possible for any character in the game to heal for a decent amount, with reasonable boundaries of course.

Gordon can become a healer, and is actually a viable choice for one because he doesn't do much else well anyway. He'll have crappy durability like Wrys, but his actual ability to heal will only be a few points behind Rena... At level 20/20, meaning the gap is smaller long before that.

Navarre makes a decent choice for an extra healer. In raw stats, he's actually better than Rena for healing purposes later on, though gets doubled much more earlier, boasting far better HP and much better speed, meaning better survivability and better chances of not getting doubled. The best part is that Oguma isn't obsoleting this role for once.

Then there are characters that start with high staff ranks and are pretty good for something despite being absolute garbage everywhere else. Boah, Elice, etc.. Boah can actually start using high level staves to heal your units right away, or be another Warper.

So yeah... It isn't hard to be a healer at all. All you need to do is simply be a healer, and you'll be good at it not matter what. This doesn't mean you'll make a good Sage, but it's one of the best excuses for picking up a crappy character.

Edited by Chainey, 29 July 2009 - 12:26 PM.