I'm going to say this, and I'm going to try to be as polite about it as possible but this is editing and it's kind of a thing I do...
for other people.
Are you serious about this? I mean really serious about touching it up and making the script sound smoother etc? that's great. Don't try to follow IntSys/NoAs example with Blazing Sword/Sacred Stones. Do not. Because unless you can do it well, what you are going to do is come off with a laughable script and, lets all be frank here, The official translations have that problem already. I'm going to list one example of this done horrifically bad in another translation patch
FE4, Chapter 5 end, We get our big dramatic reveal, the shit hits the fan... and then Sigurds dying words are "You Dastard!"
For the umpteenth time, I realize Dastard is an actual word, and what it's meaning is, and for the umpteenth time, this doesn't stop it from coming off as really stupid sounding. This is Sigurds death! You have literally spent 5 chapters where shit has increasingly hit the fan and Sigurd is literally had the quadruple whammy dropped on him. His sister and brother in law are dead, his wife doesn't know who he is and is married to Alvis, his father is dead, he's been declared a traitor and EVERYTHING he has fought for has been at the planning of others.
And his final death line is 'You Dastard' this is the extent of rage he can show? The worst thing is you know it doesn't sound good, you know it's only been put there because the FE fanbase likes to "Wink Wink Nudge Nudge" about translation decisions like that. Dastard wasn't chosen to be thematically correct or fit in with IntSys localization decisions, it was chosen because people figured it would be funny. It wasn't chosen to fit the scene, it was chosen to make a meme.
My advice to you, and I sincerely hope that, while you present your own touch ups, that you take this to heart.
You are not out to create a new meme. You are not out to make in-jokes for this community. You are certainly not out to make lines sound faker with the incorrect word choice, because you hold a preconceived notion that the English localized games could do no wrong in this regard.
Tomato's Mother 3 translation patch was a good example of trying to sound like NoA translated the game, and succeeding. so if you must emulate translation conventions, follow that example. If you would rather, and in my personal opinion, focus on making the script flow and sound natural? Then I direct you to the Romhacking Aeries translation of Super Robot Wars J. Because while there was plenty of jokes in the script that certainly weren't there in the original, the script itself flowed naturally, the characters were all easily recognizable and distinguishable.
You are not translating, you are editing, it is your job to make it flow, it is your job to make sure that no one is thrown out of the experience while playing. If you encounter a word like the whole 'Shit' incident, don't think "Hmmm, does this flow with what IntSys/NoA would have translated" think "Would this flow, with the script, while fitting with the character"
FE6 example? Damas, Chapter 1, Dastards. Yes this again, but it's a clear example of "Changing it because we think this is what IntSys/NoA would do, rather than what works within the confines of the script"
Dastard means someone who is Dastardly, a villain, a bad guy. So why is a Bandit, someone currently assaulting a lord and raiding villages... calling Roy the Dastard? because he doesn't mean Dastard, he means Bastard, you don't just change a letter and get the same meaning. He is a rude and foul murderer, and yet he's using terminology and words that do not fit his mannerisms or background. Yes. This is a bit part and a single word in the script. The entire thing that caused this shit storm was the word 'Shit' coming up a single time in the translation patch, during a death quote. A single word in the script.
As an editor, if you are serious about doing this, every word, every sentence, ever scene is important, nothing can be overlooked. You have to approach this seriously, if this means asking 10 people to look over the same single sentence of dialogue, and getting feedback from all 10, and still being unsure, that you test 20 instead.
If you're perfectly willing to make that sort of hard commitment, then I commend you good sir and hope that you succeed in all of your endeavors. But if you are not willing to go that far, if by attempting to make it sound more natural, it sounds faker. Go in, fix the scripting/typos, get out. Because the patch functions, no one complained until that was posted on the forums. And it will be forgotten very easily. And there are much bigger issues with other games that do deserve the sort of effort one needs to put in to this game. FE5 most definitely needs it because it's script is wooden, the dialogue does not flow as if characters were talking to one another, and it's menus are still horrifically busted, despite the fact we must know how to fix it since there is/was a perfect menu translation patch going around. FE6? with the exception of a few broken supports/points I think the script really weirdly cuts out at, not suffering a big issue.
Anyway, that's just me. Again I hope I didn't come off as rude, I don't mean to.
Edited by Onmi, 17 March 2012 - 10:57 AM.