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#1 CT075

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Posted 12 May 2012 - 09:09 PM

Go.

#2 Sangyul

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    I'M A HYDROLOGIST

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Posted 12 May 2012 - 09:23 PM

I read through your prologue, it sounds really interesting and I'm looking forward to reading more. It kind of seems like FE4's prologue with other characters from other FEs woven into the tale, so I'm looking forward to seeing how that goes. Kind of confused about Elincia, though. She seemed to appear out of nowhere, but hopefully you'll be able to tie Elincia's story with the FE4 story.

Also, you used script format. That was smart. No one can really criticize prose in a script format story. :P:

Edited by Folgore Yellow, 12 May 2012 - 09:23 PM.


#3 CT075

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Posted 12 May 2012 - 09:33 PM

the idea was to interweave all the stories together. The prologue happens to have a lot of FE4 because it makes things a bit easier to hook the other stories in through fe4's prologue; I assure you it won't be fe4 much longer. so yes, elincia showing up out of nowhere does have a point, i just got fed up with writing this chapter decided to end it in roughly the same way a normal fe chapter ends.

#4 Sangyul

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Posted 12 May 2012 - 09:36 PM

Got it. Well, I still have no complaints about the story, I'm looking forward to where it's going to go, who's the last thing you have to fight, and who's going to show up. :P: Hope you have better luck writing than I do.

#5 Baldrick

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Posted 13 May 2012 - 01:52 AM

Seth, Marcus, Camus and Titania all attended the same military academy.


What was it called? Overpowered Jeigan Academy?

Anyway, this looks promising.

#6 Rothene

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Posted 13 May 2012 - 08:03 AM

Nay, it's the When-you-graduate-you-solo-your-own-game Academy.

#7 CT075

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Posted 13 May 2012 - 12:10 PM

"destroy the world with your fist" academy

#8 Anouleth

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Posted 13 May 2012 - 12:26 PM

Curriculum:
-Horse riding
-Silver lance wielding
-Experience hogging
-Cutscene-based expositioning

#9 Might Gaine

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 09:09 AM

Looks interesting. The title reminds me of GaoGaiGar and The Oath Sworn Through Courage.

You've done rather well, I think, in your task of integrating the games. I look forward to chapter one once you post it.




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