10 replies to this topic

[Esme]

hi
my name is esme and I own a bistro
its in yalachoogen, on some remote island in the pacific
you probably don't know where that is
but thats okay i don't care about you anyway

so um
im a minimalist
therefore my menu is small
i also hand-make my breads and desserts
i grow my own fruits and vegetables and cacao
i also raise my own animals
but they are not for eating
because eating animals is sick and wrong
except for fish
also my food is 100% organic
no pesticides or any harmful chemicals
my food is also free of mainstream growing methods
and it is blessed by shamans
who worship mother earth and other obscure gods

so yeah
anyway
like
here's my menu



~ Fresh From the Sea:

1. The Hanu-Hanu
Our most popular dish. It is hand-crumbled tuna w/ sea salt over a bed of tropical greens. Includes your choice of vinaigrette: Taro-Dragonfruit or Lychee-Olive

2. Rosemary Dinkel's Beet n' Radish Party (Feat. Salmon)
A very simple, yet tasty dish. It is a chunk of beet atop a few slices of radish with a very special wine vinaigrette on the side and a few slices of salmon to top it all off.

~ Fresh From the Ground:

1. Silver Apples
This dish is my favorite. It's an apple with its core taken out. The core is carefully filled with a jelly of your choice: Red Bean, Dragonfruit, white berries I found in a bush, and Jackfruit.

2. Jacking Off Jackfruit
Jackfruit is said to have the flavors of 11 other fruits. Why not give it a try at my bistro? I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

3. Jackfruit Souffle
A wonderfully amusing dish. When you receive it, you must crack it open with your all-natural post-consumer organic free-trade wooden spoon. It also has human dairy in it for extra flavor! ...Come now! Be adventurous! You'll enjoy it! A-And it's not like it excited me o-or anything...!

4. Greens to the Ends of Your Plate
This dish is simple. It is merely a bed of edible leaves topped off with some sliced almonds. So healthy, so simple, so not mainstream. (Comes with your choice of Aloe Vera Dressing or Not-From-the-Ranch Ranch Dressing.)



thank you for visiting
my bistro
I hope you enjoy my creations
they are better than those other wieners
I promise
oh
and don't forget
to try my breads
pumpernickel
wheat
and all the nuts
you can eat
yay

[Ein]

Still no Great Thing Fillet. ;/

[Esme]

Still no Great Thing Fillet. ;/

that dish is too mainstream and unsophisticated
it lacks inspiration and meaning
unlike my Hanu-Hanu
did you know
that Hanu-Hanu
is a yachoogen god
who represents fertility
yes
a male god
who represents a female role
my religion is groundbreaking as you can see
may you be blessed by milke's breast

[Formidatus]

no spicy buffalo wings wings

[Esme]

no spicy buffalo wings wings

of course there are no wings
birds need them to fly
think of the birds
the poor birds

[Aquaman]

No sushi.
No lechon.
No Mango shakes?
Add 'em please.

oh and, one Hanu-Hanu

[Agile Tit-Tyrant]

can i get a Jacking Off Jackfruit with extra sauce please?

[Esme]

No sushi.
No lechon.
No Mango shakes?
Add 'em please.

oh and, one Hanu-Hanu

sushi is much too popular and it isnt that great a dish anyway
maybe ill add fried ant bowls
i seem to have a lot of them

can i get a Jacking Off Jackfruit with extra sauce please?

oh yes sure
extra sauce
for my favorite customer~

[Furetchen]

Dragonfruit Silver Apple, please?

[eclipse]

I'm allergic to your entire menu.

[Esme]

Dragonfruit Silver Apple, please?

oh certainly my friend!
here you are
enjoy~

//you seem to enjoy its taste, but the jelly has a slight sliminess to it that makes you uncomfortable

I'm allergic to your entire menu.

that is unfortunate
perhaps you will enjoy the locococo tea that I'll be introducing
and the hard candies made with organic fruit and wrapped in post-consumer WRAPPING