Xenologue: Summer Scramble (Script)

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Pre-Battle

Chrom
...Huh? Now where are we?

Merchant
Oh, you finally made it! Welcome to the Hotrealm, the Outrealms' hottest resort! It's about time you arrived. I was starting to worry.

Chrom
"Hotrealm"? What does...er... Beg pardon, milady—we seem to have caught you changing outfits. Please, finish dressing first and then we can chat.

Merchant
What do you mean, finish? I'm fully dressed already! Haven't you ever seen a bikini before?

Chrom
...Is that what they call smallclothes in this realm?

Merchant
Smallclothes?! Wow, you really are from the sticks, aren't you? A bikini is just a two-piece swimsuit. ...You DO know what a swimsuit is, right?

Chrom
Heh. I'm familiar with the concept, yes...

Merchant
Really? 'Cause by the way you're staring, I'd swear this is the first you've seen...

Chrom
Huh? ...Oh, that! Well, I was, er, merely admiring the design!

Merchant
Uh-huh. So that flush in your cheeks is just sunburn, right? Or perhaps you're picturing someone else in a similarly "admirable" design, hmm?

Chrom
What? No! What sort of degenerate do you take me for?

Merchant
All right, well, you'll get used to it. This is pretty typical dress here in the Hotrealm. In fact, this is one of the more conservative outfits... Anyway, where are my manners? Let me show you to your cabana.

Chrom
We have a cabana...? It almost sounds like you've been expecting us...

Merchant
Well, of COURSE we have, silly! Who do you think sent the invitation?

Chrom
Invitation? We received no invitation.

Merchant
WHAT?! You didn't? Not even the brochures? The lotion samples?!

Chrom
Sorry.

Merchant
Ugh, I cannot believe this. We had the perfect vacation all planned out for you. Stupid interrealm mail service! I mean, you ARE the Shepherds, right? My sisters told me about how you've been going around saving the Outrealms... We all agreed the LEAST we could do is give you a day pass to the resort.

Chrom
Oh? Well, that's very kind of you. ...Not as kind as actually helping us in battle rather than just watching, but—

Merchant
Hey, you guys are bona fide celebrities. You were made to be stared at!

Chrom
I...don't think that's true at all, actually—

Merchant
All right, no more protesting! You're going to frolic in the water, and that's that! Now, your sorcerer friends have already changed into their swimsuits. If they can do it, so can you, big guy. Go on, show a little skin! Here. I've got a swimsuit just for you. It's embroidered with the Ylissean Brand!

Chrom
Um...whose idea was it to embroider it right smack in the middle of my—

Frederick
Milord!

Chrom
Frederick! ...Save me.

Merchant
Hey, handsome. Want to try on your lord's swimsuit since he won't wear it?

Chrom
Better you than me, Frederick.

Frederick
I fear my derriere is not worthy. ...And more importantly, the beach has been overrun by brigands!

Chrom
What?!

Merchant
Brigands? Oh, come ON! Why is everyone trying to ruin your special day?

Chrom
Is anyone hurt?

Frederick
No, milord. The beach was evacuated without incident. It seems the brigands are more interested in hogging the beach. ...It IS a nice beach.

Chrom
Well, we can't take any chances. We'd better put these resort crashers to rout. Rally the Shepherds!

Merchant
...Wow. That escalated fast. I don't think his sorcerers even had time to change out of their swimsuits. ...Oh well! They're the Shepherds. They'll put on a great show regardless of their attire. And hey, I could probably charge admission to watch this! Where's my ledger?!


Start Battle

Chrom
This is some resort they've got here. No wonder people come here to relax. I should let the troops rest up here once the fighting is done. After all, they were kind enough to send us an invitation...

Merchant
ATTENTION, SHEPHERDS. THIS IS A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. *Click* *hiss* IS THIS EVEN WORKING?

Chrom
Ack! What giant is this that addresses me from beyond the sea?!

Merchant
OH... Sorry! I just lowered the volume. I'm using a Megaphone tome to talk to you long distance. It's an Anna original. Sometimes kids get lost at the resort. Their parents freak out... You know. ...And when you reply, would you please speak clearly into those seashells?

Chrom
These ones here? Huh. So that's what they're for... Anyway, what's this special announcement?

Merchant
Well, remember how I mentioned you were celebrities? The Hotrealm put it to a vote, and we picked our four favourite Shepherds!

Chrom
You...voted on us?

Merchant
Sure did! Oh, don't worry, though—you're all loved. ...Just not equally. Anyway, the four winners will receive a very special prize! For the men, the winners are... Drumroll, please... Chrom aaaaaand...Gaius! Big round of applause! And for the ladies, we have... Tharja aaaaaand...Cordelia! Aren't they just lovely? Now which of you four are here with us today? Wait right here at this winner's circle to claim your prize! By the way, today's poll was just for the elder generation. The fruits of their loins will get their shot at glory another time!

Chrom
Elder generation...? I think I need to sit down...

Merchant
Uh-oh! Hope it's not heatstroke, old-timer! You'd better drop by the winners' circle and cool down! *click* *hiss*

Chrom
Well, my name was called... I suppose I'll go see what this is all about.


Costume Change Scenes

Chrom

Chrom
I'm fairly certain this is the "winner circle" she mentioned... So what do I win?

Merchant
Oh, you made it! This is so exciting! Since you've been selected as one of the world's most popular men...the Hotrealm has decided to present you with this commemorative swimsuit! Go ahead—try it on! Your fans are waiting.

Chrom
Huh? W-wait a second! These are those smallclothes you tried to get me to wear before!

Merchant
They're not smallclothes! And they cost a lot of gold to make. It's not easy getting these things tailored to royal proportions. Now march that rear end of yours into the changing room!

Chrom
H-hey!


>screen goes black


Chrom
I'm supposed to try this on? It feels like I'm trying the rest of my garments OFF. Ugh, I guess the cape needs to come off first... And I'll just lean my sword up against here...
*Wriggle, jiggle*
*Boink*
...Have I got this on backwards? Tell me the Brand doesn't go in front... Ugh, this is mortifying. I can't let Robin and the others see me like this, or I'll— Ack! Was that a draft?

Merchant
Chrom? Are you finished?

Chrom
"Finished" is probably an apt word, yes...

Merchant
Okay, then. Come on out!


>Chrom's Swimsuit CG


Chrom
Here, satisfied? D-do I look okay?

Merchant
*Whistle* Like a perfect 10! Let's just say the Brand really brings out your royal attributes.

Chrom
I feel like a buffoon...

Merchant
What, are you crazy? You're a knockout in that!

Chrom
Really? ...You mean it?

Merchant
Trust me. Now get out there and waste some brigands!

Chrom
What?! I can't fight like this! Tomes are one thing, but I can't stop swords and lances in just my skin!

Merchant
Why not? You look plenty armed and dangerous to me. The historians would have a field day!

Chrom
Yeah...and so would the enemy. I'm not sure which would be worse—them stabbing me or laughing at me.

Merchant
Heh heh. All right, all right. I suppose I'll let you off the hook. Go ahead and change back into your armor.

Chrom
Thank the gods... The wind kind of...tickles...when I've got this thing on...


>screen returns to battle map


Merchant
Thanks for dropping by, Chrom. What did you think of your swimsuit? Pretty liberating, huh?

Chrom
You could say that... I'll admit my armor feels almost suffocating now that I've got it back on. It's no wonder you dress like that here in the Hotrealm.

Merchant
In that case, why don't you buy the swimsuit? It was expensive, but I'd be willing to part with it for, say...thus paltry sum?

Chrom
Good gods... Aren't there at least two zeroes too many on that figure? Robin would have my head if I blew through that kind of gold.

Merchant
Really? That's too bad. I'll leave the offer open!


Gaius

Gaius
Hellooo? I'm here to collect my prize?

Merchant
Oh! Come on in. I'm so glad you made it! Since you've been selected as one of the world's most popular men...the Hotrealm has decided to present you with this commemorative swimsuit! Go on—you can get changed in here. Don't want to keep your fans waiting!

Gaius
You want me to wear this tiny scrap of cloth? Nice try, honey. But a thief needs to be inconspicuous.

Merchant
What if I threw in a box of the Hotrealm's finest confections?

Gaius
...What body part would you like me to stick this on?

Merchant
That's the spirit! Now, into the changing room...


>screen goes black


Gaius
Me and my sweet tooth... Maybe I shouldn't have been so gung ho about this. There must be laws against parading around in your skivvies outdoors. Well, let's get it over with. I can leave my headband on, I guess...
*Wobble, bobble*
*CRASH*
Aw, son of a— I dropped my stash! Where do my legs go in this damn thing? ...Now I've got gotta hide my candy again, and—oh. Crap.

Merchant
Gaius? Are you done changing?

Gaius
...More or less.

Merchant
Then come on out!


>Gaius' Swimsuit CG


Merchant
Wow! Hello, hunk! Those candies on your trunks just scream, "Unwrap me."

Gaius
Ugh...

Merchant
What's wrong?

Gaius
I guess it would be a little sticky, but if all else fails...

Merchant
Hello? You listening?

Gaius
Oh. Sorry, I was just trying to figure out where to hide my sweets. My usual outfit is full of secret pockets and what have you, but this... And let's not even talk about what salt water would do to my stash.

Merchant
Well, just promise you won't get too creative with your hidey holes, okay? ...Say, how come you've got that kerchief wrapped around your forearm?

Gaius
Huh?! Oh, uh, you know. Long story...

Merchant
Injuries?

Gaius
Something like that.

Merchant
Well, if you ask me, you should be more worried about hiding that baby fat. Is that a six-pack or a one-pack?

Gaius
Hey! It's more than you'll ever see! Like it's not embarrassing enough wearing this clown suit... Look, you got what you wanted. I'm changing back into my own duds. I expect that box of confections in one hour, or there'll be blood to pay!

Merchant
Hey! Take it easy there, pal... Ah well. He can pout all he wants now that I've got what I came for...


>screen returns to battle map


Merchant
Glad you stopped by, Gaius. So what did you think of your swimsuit?

Gaius
I hated it. I belong in my own breeches, no question. ...But thanks for the life experience, I guess.

Merchant
No problem. And here I thought you'd already done it all. ...Well, here's that reward I promised.

Gaius
Yes! Sweet, sweet candy. Come to Papa... Hey. Hold on. These are your finest confections? They look pretty ordinary to me.

Merchant
No, sir. See those swirls? That's seaweed we harvest. It gives the candy a salty kick... Plus it's good for you. You won't find anything like it elsewhere. ...And you may not want to.

Gaius
Heh. I see. Well, as long as it sates my sweet tooth, I won't complain. So long, Red.


Cordelia

Cordelia
This should be the place... Beg pardon! Is anyone here?

Merchant
Oh! There you are, Cordelia. You look ravishing today. Since you've been selected as one of the world's most popular ladies...the Hotrealm has decided to present you with this commemorative swimsuit! Step right inside, and you can try it on. Your fans would like that, I'm sure.

Cordelia
Fans? Ah, yes. The popularity contest of which you spoke before.

Merchant
Ha, sharp as a tack! Can't pull a fast one on the famous Cordelia! But don't just do this for your fans. Do it as a treat for yourself, too.

Cordelia
All right, then. That I shall.

Merchant
Great! Let's get you into the changing room then.


>screen goes black


Cordelia
What a charming little garment! You even picked my favorite color. I wonder if my beloved would look my way if I wore this outside... Oh, that would send me into raptures!
*Fwip, shwip*
*Thwunk*
Ack! This leaves far little to the imagination... And speaking of far too little... Oh, where is my breastplate when I need it? There must be some extra stockings around here or...something...

Merchant
Cordelia? Is everything all right?

Cordelia
I've finished changing... But I'm far too mortified to set foot outside...

Merchant
What? But you have such a wonderful figure! Let me come inside and have a look.

Cordelia
What? ...No! Stay out! Pleeeeeease!


>Cordelia's Swimsuit CG


Cordelia
...Ugh! Why did you have to come in?

Merchant
Whoa! You look amazing! What was all the groaning about being mortified? Were you worried the men's hearts would stop when they saw you? Very chivalrous, but I think you can make your debut with pride.

Cordelia
But my...you know...

Merchant
Your "you know"? Why are you holding your chest like that? Are you not feeling well? Here, let me have a look... Arms wide!

Cordelia
Ack! No, please, don't! Please, milady—NOOOOOO!

Merchant
...Ohhh.

Cordelia
......

Merchant
I get it now. You're worried your size won't get it with the guys, is that it?

Cordelia
M-must you be so direct?! *Sigh* Now everyone will know my breastplate is a sham.

Merchant
Now, now. Don't be upset, Cordelia. We can't all have everything, you know. It's the flaws that bring out our beauty!

Cordelia
*Sniff* You mean it?

Merchant
Of course!

Cordelia
Well...all right. But I'd still like to put my armor back on.

Merchant
Take your time. I'll be waiting outside.


>screen returns to battle map


Merchant
Thank you, Cordelia. You were a good sport.

Cordelia
Sorry I fell apart in there.

Merchant
You have nothing to apologize for. Now that we've shared a secret, I feel like we're sisters. To be honest, it's a relief to see a softer side of you. A legend like you can be kind of intimidating, if you know what I mean.

Cordelia
Hee hee. Thanks... I feel as though I've gained a sister as well. Perhaps we can share more stories once all the fighting is done.

Merchant
That sounds great to me.


Tharja

Tharja
...Is this the place? Where is that fool of a woman who calls her own protectors away from the battlefield?

Merchant
Ah! Tharja! Don't you look cheery today. Since you've been selected as one of the world's most popular ladies...the Hotrealm has decided to present you with this commemorative swimsuit! You can change in here. Don't let all those eager fans down!

Tharja
...... So I just have to wear this?

Merchant
If you don't mind. To be honest, I half expected you to threaten to hex me.

Tharja
I'd rather get this whole horrible, wasteful experience over with...

Merchant
Um...okay... Well! Let's just get you into that changing room, shall we?


>screen goes black


Tharja
Hrm... There's not much here to wear. No one wants to see ME in this. Unless... Yes, perhaps Robin would like it! This could be the key to winning his/her affections!
*Bustle, rustle*
*Sproing*
Oof... It's a little tight... Is it supposed to hug my chest like this? And why is it...nngh...riding so far up my behind? Just what is that merchant up to, anyway?

Merchant
Tharja, are you all changed?

Tharja
You should know, vixen swindler. I demand answers!

Merchant
What's wrong? You don't like your swimsuit? Hang on. Let me take a look...


>Tharja's Swimsuit CG


Tharja
...Haven't you ever heard of knocking?

Merchant
Sorry! It sounded like you needed help. My gosh, Tharja—most women would kill for that body.

Tharja
...Thanks. So did I.

Merchant
Er...so what's the problem? The swimsuit looks great on you. I think I picked out the perfect design.

Tharja
...Did you even bother to check my size?

Merchant
Uh-oh... Too tight?

Tharja
My uncanny valleys beg for reprieve. You bought me a size too small on purpose, didn't you?

Merchant
I'm sorry, Tharja. I guess I got too focused on the design. And anyway, it's hard to get someone's measurements right based on hearsay. You've got a lot more, er, femininity than I'd heard.

Tharja
Spare me your flattery, slattern. Now I'll never win Robin's affections! I can't even step outside.

Merchant
Robin... Your tactician, right? S/He didn't quite make the swimsuit list, but s/he scored high in the polls. I'd say s/he's even on par with you.

Tharja
...What? On par? ...We have parity?! Then it's true! Some force binds us!

Merchant
Tharja? Slow down! You'll rip the swimsu—

Tharja
Aside, woman. I must change my attire at once and join my chosen one. My keen perception did not lie!


>screen returns to battle map


Merchant
Well, that was an adventure, wasn't it, Tharja?

Tharja
I've ventured into worse. Are we done here?

Merchant
Yes. Sorry your swimsuit was too small.

Tharja
I'll lose no sleep over your bust-binding torture device. Now if you'll excuse me... Robin needs me.

Merchant
Right, um...bye? Well, she's certainly got personality. No wonder she rocked the polls.


Enter Battle Quotes

Avatar (M/F)
This place is stunning. It hardly feels like we're in the midst of battle. Once this mess is dealt with, we should let the others take a load off. Does that sound all right to you, brigand? ...Good!

Chrom
It feels a bit strange to get the celebrity treatment... But I'll admit—after a long march, it's nice to be pampered. The least we can do in return is live up to the gossip and rout these fiends!

Lissa
As fun as it must be to have the place to yourself, you need to learn to share! I mean, why not? You might even make some new friends while you're at it! ...Not interested, huh? All right, we'll just to have to do things your way.

Frederick
This beach is a disaster! Who left all these sharp rocks in the sand? I must pick them all up before the others get hurt! And YOU are going to help me! ...If you're still breathing when I'm done.

Sully
What's so damn special about splashing around in some tub of salt water? If you really want to blow off steam, you should try your hand at combat. Here. I'll run you through the motions. ...Nah. I think I'll just run you through.

Virion
What a magnificent vista! It's just a shame it overfloweth with brigands and not lovely ladies... Perhaps a masterful stroke from Virion can set this painting right.

Stahl
I wish I lived by an ocean like this. Just think of all the fresh fish... Sautéed in butter... Filleted and breaded... *grumble, grumble* Agh, there goes my stomach again. I really need to get control of that...

Vaike
The rumors are true, pal. The Vaike thrives in the blazin' summer sun! But too bad for you, I ain't here for fun and games. When I'm through with you, you'll be sleepin' with the fishes!

Miriel
How utterly deplorable. Beneath this detritus of rogues and unclaimed rubbish lay a natural marvel. Clearly I must purge this panorama of its pollution posthaste.

Sumia
As a Shepherd, it's my sworn duty to defend those in need. There was a time I doubted myself—when one like you might have cowed me. Unfortunately for you, rogue, that time has passed!

Kellam
This place looks like fun. Another kiss of death to my chances of being noticed. Who has time for poor Kellam with all these thrilling distractions? I'll probably get mistaken for driftwood. Do I look like driftwood to you? Hello?

Lon'qu
...... ...... ...Damn this heat!

Ricken
Why are you staring at me? Is my hat crooked? ...Oh. So it is. Thanks! You're pretty nice. Why don't we call this whole thing off? ...Hey, don't look at me like that! It was a fair question!

Maribelle
The baseborn do know how to entertan themselves, I'll give them that... Perhaps Lissa and I could share tea and bringa little class to the place. Of course, we'll need to be rid of rabble like you first!

Panne
Ugh, this heat... For once, I wish I had human skin instead of fur. As soon as we're done here, I'm going to find a cool stream and...and... ...... ...Nngh! Almost passed out there... I must stay alert for the taguel's sake!

Gaius
Hey, if you're gonna pick a spot to plunder, you could do much worse... You've got sun, surf...all that lip-smacking fruit ripe for the plucking... ...Wait, what am I saying? I think the heat here is starting to get to me...

Cordelia
The blue water, the rhythm of the waves... The ocean is so romantic. Or at least it would be if you rogues weren't fouling it up. You'll pay for sowing these happy sands with strife!

Nowi
Why don't you people find your own playground and leave this one alone?! If there's one thing I REALLY can't stand, it's bullies! Ugh! You'd better say you're sorry now before I start bullying back!

Gregor
Look at these nincompadres, having too much fun to listen to reason. OY! IS TIME TO VACATE BEACH! ...See? No listen to reason. Perhaps your friends come round after Gregor feeds you to hungry shark...

Libra
I take a dim view of rogues who rob others of joy to sate their own needs. But repent now and leave this place, and you may yet be forgiven. ...Very well. Then this truly shall be your last resort.

Tharja
Why is everyone having so much...ugh, gag me...so much FUN? This "resort" nonsense will only lead to trouble. I must distract myself... You there... Prepare to be cursed in Robin's name!

Olivia
If only I had a swimsuit. It's too hot to fight in this weather... Wait, what am I SAYING? That would be mortifying! Everyone would stare at me! ...Oh, the horror! Look away!

Cherche
You poor, darling brigand. Would the other beachgoers not play with you? Minerva will join you for a swim. Won't you, my sweet? Yes, you will! ...That is, assuming she CAN swim. I'm not sure we've ever tried!

Henry
Hey, jerk! Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not nice to hog the beach? Now I'm gonna have to chop you up and toss you into the sea. Oh, don't worry—there's plenty of hungry fish out there, nya ha!

Say'ri
The ocean here is beautiful. It reminds me of the sea in Chon'sin. I'd head to the shore each day to try to catch the best fish I could for Yen'fay... *Sniff* I do miss him dearly. But I shan't allow my foes to witness such weakness!

Basilio
You liked the beach so much that you decided to conquer it? Ah, the brashness of youth! If you withdraw now, I might let you off with only a bruise or three. No deal? This won't end happily for one of us. And by one of us, I mean you.

Flavia
Well, look at you. You actually seem like you might have some fight in you. How about abandoning this invasion and coming to Ferox to hone those skills? You'd rather keep the beach? The summer sea is truly a force to be reckoned with...

Donnel
This big ol' stretch of sand kinda reminds me of the fields back home. I sure hope Ma and the others are holdin' their own... Maybe when this is all over, I'll take 'em out here for a li'l vacation!

Anna
Brigands attacking the resort? That can't be good for business... I expect full compensation for the financial harm you've caused my sister! As you're about to learn, the tenacity of a debt collector runs as deep as the sea!

Tiki
What a magnificent land this is. And until now, a peaceful one, I'm sure... How sad that even the pettiest of evils can transform peace into chaos. But I still believe in the future you hoped for, Mar-Mar. Its day will come...

Lucina
A land of pristine beauty, untouched by war. I've dreamed of such a place... And yet you brigands seem completely oblivious to its majesty. Disgusting. Perhaps a nice, hard strike from my blade will help open your eyes.

Owain
Blood...boiling...from this heat... Can't...control...sword hand... Flee now...brigand...or face the burning justice of...a thousand...a thousand... Argh, it's so hot I can't even remember my lines! Snap out of it, Owain!

Inigo
This blue ocean! This golden sand! Did such splendor even exist in my time? How could you troublemakers even think to taint this stunning scenery? For the beauty of sea and sky—er, and those bikini-clad ladies over there... I will stop you!

Brady
Think you're a tough guy, huh? I'll give you three seconds to apologize! ...Hey, don't play dumb with me! I saw you stompin' on that hermit crab! Next time try picking on someone your own size, you big bully!

Kjelle
Why would you even attack a place like this? For sport? Making innocent people miserable for your own amusement is pathetic. Allow me to provide the discipline you so clearly require!

Cynthia
How dare you sow your terror here. I won't allow your evil on this beach! You can't just take this place and turn it into your own private playground! Hm... That does sound kinda nice. No noise, no crowds... B-but evil! Now die!

Severa
Oh, look at that seashell! Maybe I could make it into a soap dish for Mother... Y-you heard that?! I...I'm not some mama's girl! She needed a new soap dish, and, uh... Don't you dare say a word about this! Actually...I'll just make sure you don't.

Gerome
This heat is unbearable. I can't think straight, and I'm sweating like a— ...ARGH! Sweat in my eyes! And I can't get to it because of this damn mask! *Sigh* If you wish to flee, brigand, now's your chance!

Morgan (M/F)
Hey, how about you halt your attack and leave these poor people alone? What would your mother say if she knew you were assaulting a beach resort?! ...Hrm. Note to self: emotional appeals appear ineffective against brigands...

Yarne
H-Hey, d-don't come any closer! I'm casting off heat like a campfire! Look at me! The sun is scorching, and I'm covered in fur. It's NOT pleasant! J-just stay away! If I get any hotter, I could combust and kill us both!

Laurent
Aren't you worried about sunstroke, running about like that in this heat? When the sun's rays intensify like this, a wide-brimmed hat is ideal. Hm? You'll just kill me and take mine? B-but this belonged to my mother!

Noire
BWAH HA HA! THE SEA AND THE SKY HERE ARE DIVINE! YOU, BRIGAND! JOIN ME IN CRAFTING THE FINEST SAND CASTLE EVER BUILT! ...Uh, hello? You gonna help me or not? Fine... I guess we'll just fight instead...

Nah
You should be ashamed for attacking a peaceful place like this. All these people wanted was to be able to relax and have some fun! We never had that luxury...which is why I can't let you ruin this for them!

Gangrel
You dolts know who you're pointing those blades at? Sheathe 'em and go home. Or do you really wanna die on a beach? Is that the epic end you've always dreamed of? Well, if you insist... Let's give these seagulls and sand crabs the feast of a lifetime!

Walhart
Great men use strength to better all; good men, to protect what they love. But you squander yours in some craven's jape. You're beneath contempt! Withdraw now, or I'll be forced to sully my weapon with your worthless blood!

Emmeryn
The ocean...is so blue... so beautiful... I want to...come back here...with...Chrom and...Lissa... But first... we must bring...peace to the world...

Yen'fay
You stand before the mighty Yen'fay and yet you do not withdraw? Either you're skilled enough to be confident or too green to realize you're outmatched. Looking at you, I suspect it's the latter...but I shall have my answer soon enough!

Aversa
The heat here is intense. Maybe I'll just discard a layer or two of clothing... What's this? You were hoping to watch? Maybe if you can defeat me, hotshot. Then again, you're out to conquer a beach? I'd prefer a man with...loftier aspirations.

Praim
When I heard you laid siege to this land, I was prepared for an immense battle... Then I found out it was just a beach. And you were just...well, you. Let's just say I regret having prepared so thoroughly... I suppose I can only pray that you're far mightier than you appear to be.


Conversations

Chrom > Avatar

Robin
The Outrealm's hottest resort, huh? I don't doubt it. This place is amazing! We could have a lot of fun out here. Swimming, collecting seashells...

Chrom
It's true we don't get very many chances to relax in our own world...

Robin
Ack! Chrom?! You heard all of that?

Chrom
If you're going to talk to yourself so loudly, I'd suggest moving farther down the beach.

Robin
I'm sorry. I shouldn't be daydreaming like that in the middle of a battle.

Chrom
Not at all. Everyone needs to unwind now and again. You should enjoy yourself. I've seen how tense you tend to become in the heat of battle, Robin... If this isn't the place to let your hair down a little, I don't know where is.

Robin
Is that an order? Because if it is, I'm not complaining! Seriously, though, I've never been anywhere this beautiful before. It's so relaxing... Or perhaps I've been here hundreds of times and I just don't remember...

Chrom
Robin...

Robin
Sorry. Didn't mean to get all somber on you there. If my commander's ordered me to let my hair down, who am I to argue? I spotted an interesting creature when I passed by that tide pool over there... I'm going back for a closer look!

Chrom
Heh. I don't think I've ever seen Robin so excited. This place really is everything it's cracked up to be. I owe it to him/her to help him/her enjoy it as much as s/he can while we're here. I only wish I knew how to go about it... Should I spoil him/her like Frederick does me? Maybe I'll help him/her gather seashells. ......Or maybe not. I feel ridiculous. I'll think of something.

Robin
Chrom, check it out! I caught that weird creature! Isn't this thing bizarre? I wonder if we could put it to any tactical use...

Chrom
......

Robin
What's wrong, Chrom? Don't you like it? I know it's not the most cuddliest critter, but it's kinda cute in its own way!

Chrom
Hmm? No, no, it's fine. I was just distracted, sorry. Don't worry about me. Go frolic with your weird little friend to your heart's content.

Robin
Well, when you put it that way...


Avatar > Chrom

Robin
Hey, Chrom! How goes the battle on your— ...Huh? What's up with all these seashells?

Chrom
Oh, hello, Robin. I was trying to fashion a necklace out of them. It didn't go well.

Robin
You were fashioning a necklace...? Has this been a hobby of yours for long? It looks as if they've been completely pulverized. What went wrong?

Chrom
Well, I can at least say I have a talent for smashing things in frustration...

Robin
So it seems... And what's that behind you? What are all those charred lumps?

Chrom
Those are...er, WERE fish. I was trying to cook them. They got burned.

Robin
That's putting it kindly...

Chrom
Yeah, it didn't exactly pan out as I'd intended.

Robin
Huh. Well...I guess even the greatest of chefs burn things now and again... And I'll pretend I haven't noticed the collapsed sand castle or the half-built raft... And what is that? A bug-infested tropical fruit salad? ...I'll just ignore that too.

Chrom
That would probably be for the best.

Robin
Listen, Chrom, I'm sure my excitement for the beach earlier was infectious, but...well, maybe it's best you save these...activities...for after the battle's done.

Chrom
No, you're right. But first, there's one more thing I want you to see. Now that it's done, I think it might've been a terrible idea, but...

Robin
Really? There's more? What is it this ti— Oh my!

Chrom
So...what do you think?

Robin
...... Pfft... Ha ha ha... AAAAH ha ha ha ha ha! "Chrom & Robin Were Here." Ha ha! Did you write this all by yourself?

Chrom
Yes.

Robin
Ha ha! Just the image of you slaving over this giant scrawl is enough to—! Ha ha! I'm...I'm sorry. I shouldn't be mocking my commander in a time of war... B-but... Ha ha ha! I'm sorry! It's just too funny!

Chrom
So did you...like it?

Robin
Like it? Ha ha! Are you kidding? I loved it!

Chrom
Whew. Then it was worth the effort. ...And the humiliation. I'm glad I was able to do something to make you happy.

Robin
Wait, Chrom... Don't tell me all of this... All these ruined projects... That was you trying to make me happy?

Chrom
Is that so strange? I mean, you're the whole reason we were invited here in the first place. So I've been trying to figure out some way I could show my gratitude. And, you know...you don't have any memories from before we met. So I thought I might be able to help you make some new ones...

Robin
Oh, Chrom... I didn't realize. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Chrom
Well, I'm not sure thanks are in order. After all, all my ideas ended in disaster...

Robin
Heh. Well, that may be so, but I still owe you one. After all, it's no fair if I'm the only one having fun. So once this battle's over, let's think up something we can enjoy together. Deal?

Chrom
All right. You've got yourself a deal.


Chrom > Avatar (spouse)

Robin
The Outrealms' hottest resort, huh? I don't doubt it. This place is amazing! If only Chrom and I had this beach to ourselves—what fun we could have! We could swim, and collect seashells, and chase each other through the surf...

Chrom
It's true we don't get very many chances to relax in our own world.

Robin
Ack! Chrom?! You heard all of that?

Chrom
If you're going to talk to yourself so loudly, I'd suggest moving farther down the beach.

Robin
I'm sorry. I shouldn't be daydreaming like that in the middle of battle.

Chrom
Not at all. Everyone needs to unwind now and again. You should enjoy yourself. I see how tense you tend to become in the heat of battle, Robin... If this isn't the place to let your hair down a little, I don't know where is. And I admit, the thought of being alone here with you has crossed my mind as well...

Robin
Oh, Chrom... I'm so glad you feel the same way. I've never been anywhere this beautiful before. It's so relaxing... Or perhaps I've been here hundreds of times and I just don't remember...

Chrom
Robin...

Robin
Sorry. Didn't mean to get all somber on you there. If my commander's ordered me to let my hair down, who am I to argue? Of course, it wouldn't do to monopolize the army's leader during a battle... I promise I'll be quick! I'm just going to poke around in that tide pool over there...

Chrom
Heh. I don't think I've ever seen Robin so excited. This place really is everything it's cracked up to be. I owe it to her to help her enjoy it as much as she can while we're here. I only wish I knew how to go about it... Should I spoil her like Frederick does me? Maybe I'll help her gather seashells. ...... Or maybe not. I feel ridiculous. I'll think of something...

Robin
Chrom, check it out! I caught this weird creature! Isn't this thing just bizarre? I wonder if we could put it to any tactical use...

Chrom
......

Robin
What's wrong, Chrom? Don't you like it? I know it's not the cuddliest critter, but it's kinda cute in its own way!

Chrom
Hmm? No, no it's fine. I was just distracted, sorry. Don't worry about me. Go frolic with your weird little friend to your heart's content.

Robin Well, when you put it that way...


Avatar > Chrom

Robin
Hey, Chrom! How goes the battle on your— ...Huh? What's up with all those seashells?

Chrom
Oh, hello, Robin. I was trying to fashion a necklace out of them. It didn't go well.

Robin
You were fashioning a necklace...? Has this been a hobby of yours for long? It looks as if they've been completely pulverized. What went wrong?

Chrom
Well, I can at least say I have a talent for smashing things in frustration...

Robin
So it seems... And what's that behind you? What are all those charred lumps?

Chrom
Those are...er, WERE fish. I was trying to cook them. They got burned.

Robin
That's putting it kindly...

Chrom
Yeah, it didn't exactly pan out as I'd intended.

Robin
Huh. Well...I guess even the greatest of chefs burn things now and again... And I'll pretend I haven't noticed the collapsed sand castle or the half-built raft... And what is that? A bug-infested tropical fruit salad? ...I'll just ignore that too.

Chrom
That would probably be for the best.

Robin
Listen, Chrom, I'm sure my excitement for the beach earlier was infectious, but... Well, maybe it's best you save these...activities...for after the battle's done.

Chrom
No, you're right. But first, there's one more thing I want you to see. Now that it's done, I think it might've been a terrible idea, but...

Robin
Really? There's more? What is it this ti— Oh my!

Chrom
So...what do you think?

Robin
C-Chrom... Just look at this great big message in the sand... "Chrom & Robin 4 Ever." How did this...? Why would you...?

Chrom
Does it make you happy?

Robin
I...I don't know if I should be happy or embarrassed or...what, exactly... But it's certainly a sight I'll never forget, I can promise you that.

Chrom
Then I'm glad. Maybe I didn't make you happy, but I at least helped you make a new memory.

Robin
Wait, Chrom... Is that what all this was about? The sand message, all the failed projects... It was all to help me make new memories?

Chrom
I guess it wasn't as obvious as I'd hoped it would be, huh? I know that you didn't mean what you said before. Of course it bothers you that you don't have any memories from before we met. I wanted to make sure you were able to form at least a few happy memories here.

Robin
Oh, Chrom... Thank you. Thank you so much. But you didn't need to go to all this trouble. Just being with you has given me an endless supply of happy memories!

Chrom
...It has?

Robin
Of course! The day we first met... Our first battle together... That time you peeked in on me in the bath... The day you confessed your love to me... I remember it all so vividly! I could never forget a single thing about you. Even if death were to tear us apart... Even if I lost my memories again...

Chrom
Robin... Why would you even say such a thing?

Robin
What? I'm just speaking hypothetically. Why are you making that face?

Chrom
Robin...

Robin
Huh? What are you—?!

Chrom
......

Robin
Mmmmmph! C-Chrom! Y-your lips... We shouldn't...

Chrom
Did you not enjoy that?

Robin
N-no, it was wonderful! But...we're in the middle of a battle here!

Chrom
I know. But the way you were talking... I couldn't help it.

Robin
I understand, Chrom, but you're the commander of this army! Look, I'm going back to my position now. YOU stay and fight here, okay?

Chrom
Robin, wait! *Sigh* She's gone. I'll have to apologize for that later...

Robin
Right in the middle of a battle? What was he thinking?! I'll have to scold him for that later... ...... Well, I suppose he's at least given me one more memory I'll never forget. The big dolt!

Lissa > Sumia

Lissa
Wow! Look at that ocean, Sumia! We have GOT to go swimming!

Sumia
Absolutely not, Lissa. We didn't come here to have a good time.

Lissa
Aw, but look at this place! Blue sky, golden sand, and alllll that beautiful water! It's so pretty, twinkling in the sun. How can we NOT go splash around in it?

Sumia
Lissa, please. We're Shepherds. Proud warriors serving in Chrom's army—

Lissa
Uh-huh. So why do you have YOUR swimsuit then? Hm? ...HMM? Don't try to hide it! I see it peeking out of your bag there.

Sumia
M-my swimsuit?! I don't know what you're— Ohh, you mean THIS?! Uh... It's...not a swimsuit. It's, um...my aquatic battle outfit! For...combat in water! I bought it as soon as I realized we might have to fight on the seashore. When you're doing battle in the waves, you need complete freedom of movement!

Lissa
I don't see how wearing a swimsuit under armor helps with that at all...

Sumia
Well...y-you wouldn't! Because...it's actually really complicated. Yeah, I barely understand myself! Ha ha.

Lissa
But didn't the merchant explain? You sure did spend a long time talking to her. From where I was, it looked like you got her to show you every style she had. You compared cuts and colors and patterns almost like you cared about how they looked... But why would you, if you're only gonna be wearing the suit during battle?

Sumia
Er, right... Good question! I can totally explain that. Definitely. You see...er... I thought, if I'm buying one ANYWAY, I might as well get something flattering. I mean, have you ever seen swi—er, aquatic battle suits like this back in our world...? ...Oh, all right, FINE! I admit it! I was excited about swimming in the ocean too. Okay? This isn't an aquatic battle suit at all... I'm sorry I lied to you, Lissa.

Lissa
Oh, you don't have to apologize. I totally understand! Soooo...seeing as how we DID buy these suits...we probably SHOULD try them out... Even soldiers deserve a break sometimes, right?

Sumia
Well, twist my arm, why don't you...? Hee hee! Okay, it's a date! But first, let's finish cleaning up this mess here on the beach!


Sumia > Lissa

Lissa
*Sigh* The swimsuit looked SO good when the merchant showed it to me... But when I put it on, it was all baggy and loose, and it looked TOTALLY ridiculous.

Sumia
I'm disappointed with mine, too. I swear it didn't look THAT small at the stall! It doesn't matter how cute it is—if you can't wear it in public, what's the point?

Lissa
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean! Unlike me, though, I'll bet you look good in almost everything you wear. I couldn't help noticing what a great figure you have when we were changing. I would KILL for curves like yours! What size are you, by the way?

Sumia
Gosh! I never thought I'd be having this conversation with a princess!

Lissa
Aw, come on! We're friends! We can talk about this kinda stuff, can't we?

Sumia
Well, I guess. But a girl has to have SOME secrets, so don't go telling anyone!

Lissa
Oh, absolutely! Cross my heart and hope to die!

Sumia
Okay, lean in close. I'm going to whisper it, just in case any men are eavesdropping...

Lissa
Like this?

Sumia
Uh-huh.

Lissa
...I'm waiting.

Sumia
...Argh! I can't do it! It's just...not something I talk about!

Lissa
Oh, COME ON! You can't make me go through all that and then not tell me!

Sumia
I'm sorry! I know it's weird, but... Hey, wait! I just had an idea! Why don't we swap swimsuits?

Lissa
Huh? Why would we—? ...Ohhh, I get it! Mine's too big, yours is too small... If we trade, we'll both have suits that fit!

Sumia
Exactly! Now why don't we hurry up and finish this battle so we can try them on again.

Lissa
Sounds good to me! ...Hey, wait a second! You never answered my question!


Virion > Lon'qu

Lon'qu
...Virion.

Virion
Why, if it isn't Lon'qu! What a pleasant surprise. And how may I be of service?

Lon'qu
You're a skilled archer, are you not? I need to make use of your arm.

Virion
How could I refuse such eloquent praise? I would be delighted to assist you! But what, pray tell, do you require of me.

Lon'qu
I want you to fire arrows at me.

Virion
Er...my! And why, may I ask, would you make such a rash and reckless request?

Lon'qu
They don't need to be real arrows. Practice arrows will do fine. This sand makes it hard to move. I need to hone my evasive maneuvers.

Virion
Ahh, so this is the method behind your seeming madness? Your diligence, as ever, impresses me deeply. I hold such ambition and determination as yours in high regard indeed! Even a nobleman such as I may learn from your example.

Lon'qu
...So you'll do it?

Virion
Hmm...

Lon'qu
Delighted to assist me, was it?

Virion
Ah ha ha! Well, of course I am! But please indulge me for a moment first. Pray, look around you—note the sun's rays beating on the sand, the crashing waves... I long to cavort gaily amidst such beauty! ...In a noble and refined fashion, of course. And yet, you would have me participate in a crude display of machismo instead? I cannot help but fear this might cause distress to the many fair maidens present...

Lon'qu
Funny you should mention that. I heard some of the local women talking earlier. They were saying how impressive you look when you fire that bow of yours.

Virion
*Ahem* So! Tell me, Lon'qu, where exactly would you like me to aim?

Lon'qu
......


Lon'qu > Virion

Virion
Mercy me, however did I allow myself to get caught up in such foolishness? *Sigh* Sometimes my boundless generosity surprises even myself... I must end this quickly, that I may return to the delights of paradise!

Lon'qu
Argh! Damn it! How do you keep hitting me?!

Virion
A lackluster effort, dear friend. Let us try once more.

Lon'qu
Oww!

Virion
Even practice arrows sting when they strike straight and true. Come, end this folly.

Lon'qu
It makes no sense! Even standing in this sand, I should be able to do this!

Virion
Heh... Whether the sport be archery or seduction, I always hit my mark!

Lon'qu
How does the simpering fool always manage to— Argh!

Virion
My dear Lon'qu. Have you yet to see what hinders you? You lack focus, friend! You have done so from the start! It is the warm and pleasant atmosphere of the beach, I imagine. It is causing even one so strenuously uptight as yourself to relax his guard.

Lon'qu
What?!

Virion
It seems I have hit the nail on the head! Like...so!

Lon'qu
Yargh!

Virion
Surely even you have punished yourself enough by now? Shall we end this?

Lon'qu
...Very well. I must train myself to stop being swayed by distractions. Tell me, how do you stay so focused in a place like this?

Virion
An intriguing question. I believe it is my ability to enter another mental realm. One where I am able to act appropriately, regardless of circumstances. One must remain detached...objective... Therein lies the key.

Lon'qu
Interesting... Sorry to make you do this in the middle of a battle.

Virion
Think nothing of it. It has proved more of a fruitful exercise than I imagined! We must ensure that our post battle frolics are equally fruitful. Share we formulate a plan of approach for the fair maidens on the beach?

Lon'qu
"We"? I don't think so.

Virion
Oh? And why is that? Naturally you'll be joining me!

Lon'qu
I will?

Virion
Surely you don't intend to refuse me after I have assisted you so?

Lon'qu
Rrgh... I...I suppose not...


Virion > Gaius

Virion
*Slurp* Ahh, nothing quite stirs the soul like a fine cup of tea on the battlefield.

Gaius
Crivens, Virion, are you seriously drinking tea in the middle of a fight? What's wrong with you?

Virion
Ah, hello, Gaius. Even in the throes of battle, one mustn't neglect life's essential pleasures. Though I regret to note that on this occasion, my pleasure is incomplete. Why, you ask? Because I lack a suitable confection to accompany this excellent infusion!

Gaius
Yeah? Well, boohoo for you, I guess. This isn't the time nor the place. Now if you're done waving your pinky in the air, how about getting back into formation?

Virion
Why, from whence comes this unseemly haste? I simply must have my sweet, sir. And I believe that you are the very man to provide it. Bring hither a cake!

Gaius
Are you serious? I think you've confused me with your kitchen boy, fancy man.

Virion
Come now. The entire army knows your pockets are ever abrim with delights!

Gaius
And what if they are? Maybe you missed this the first time; we're in a BATTLE. I don't have time to stand around serving you cakes out of my secret stash. And even if I did—I wouldn't. Sweets as good as mine don't come cheap!

Virion
...Oh? So you're saying your cakes are of an exceedingly fine quality?

Gaius
You bet your arched eyebrows they are. I've got agents all over, buying up only the very best of the best sweets. It took a lot of hard work to build up those contacts and figure out all the logistics. Not that a pampered noble like you would understand the meaning of hard work...

Virion
Hah! Fair enough. But hmm... How much would it take, I wonder... *Gasp* Where are you going?! Gaius, wait! Come back here! I haven't told you my offer! *Sigh* And with that, he was gone, depriving poor Virion of his just deserts...


Gaius > Virion

Virion
Ah, Gaius, my good man. Might I have a word?

Gaius
Huh? Oh. You again.

Virion
The very same! I was hoping we might resolve the matter of my confection.

Gaius
This again? Look, Your Lordship, I'm not your servant. Find another lackey!

Virion
Now, now, Gaius. Don't be so hasty. You have yet to hear my offer.

Gaius
Offer? As in...you give me something I want in exchange?

Virion
Precisely! You present me with a sweet, and I present you with cold, hard coin. Come now. Name your price, and we'll see if the contents of my purse are sufficient.

Gaius
Seven hells, but you nobles are all alike. You think money can buy you anything.

Virion
Well, to be fair, it has seldom failed me in the past... But tell me, Gaius: Are you always this ill tempered?

Gaius
Only when I'm dealing with highborn fools who think they can buy anything they like.

Virion
But highborn or low, where is the harm in offering value for value? You have something I want, yes? I offer to pay you, and you name your price. When someone asks a favor of you, it's only reasonable to expect something in return.

Gaius
All right, fine. You want one of my sweets? Then give me that drool bib of yours. I could do with one of those to keep the jam and crumbs off my clothes.

Virion
...Drool bib? Are you referring to my velvet cravat? If you are, I'm afraid I must refuse. I cannot part with this.

Gaius
Suit yourself. Then we're done here.

Virion
How unfortunate... *sigh* All I really wanted was to sit down with you for a cup of tea...

Gaius
Huh?

Virion
Though we fight side by side, we've had little time to speak face-to-face. What better occasion than this to rectify such a regrettable omission? What better place than here, on the golden beach, shaded by the swaying palms...

Gaius
*Sigh* If that's what you wanted, why didn't you just say so?

Virion
Am I to take it by your tone that you would look favorably on such a proposal?

Gaius
...I might.

Virion
Excellent! I have your word then. We'll take tea at the earliest opportunity! ...But not before we've driven away these bothersome brigands. Fair?

Gaius
*Sigh* All right, all right... You've talked me into it.

Virion
Wonderful. Then let us join forces and vanquish these foes!

Gaius
Right with you, Your Lordship.


Stahl > Chrom

Stahl
Phew. Well, this area's clear.

Chrom
Good work, Stahl. It's nice to know we can always count on you.

Stahl
Just trying to do my part! Against the weaker foes, at least...

Chrom
Don't sell yourself short, Stahl. You've become one of our most reliable soldiers. I often call you are bastion in stormy seas, you know. Others agree.

Stahl
R-really?! I-I'm not used to such praise. You're making me blush! Still, I'm glad you find me useful. I do try to serve best I can...

Chrom
You really need to stop being so modest. Your results speak for themselves.

Stahl
Wow, Chrom, to hear you say that is hugely encouraging. Inspiring, even! From this day on, I solemnly swear to redouble my efforts. I won't rest until I'm the mightiest knight in the halidom!

Chrom
That's the spirit! I'll be following your progress closely. And I have every confidence you'll succeed, Stahl.

Stahl
...Y-you do? And you'll be following my progress...personally? *Gulp* I...I'm honored that you would place so much faith in me! Honored...and perhaps a little daunted... (S-so...much...pressure...)

Chrom
Stahl, are you all right? You're suddenly covered in sweat and trembling like a leaf.

Stahl
Wh-who, me? No, I'm f-f-fine! J-just my n-n-normal reliable s-self... *Gasp* G-GOTTA GO! B-BYE!

Chrom
...What's gotten into him?


Chrom > Stahl

Stahl
*Pant, pant...* *wheeze*

Chrom
Good grief, Stahl. Are you all right?

Stahl
I-I'm fine... *wheeze* Must...defeat...more foes...

Chrom
Wait—don't let them draw you out of formation!

Stahl
But...I have to...kill them all... Can't stop... Must win...single handed...

Chrom
Stahl, get ahold of yourself!

Stahl
Wha—?! I...I'm sorry... I just thought... I mean, I know you're counting on me, so I—

Chrom
Stahl, look at you. You're as tense as a loaded crossbow. It's a wonder you can even move with your neck muscles knotted up like that.

Stahl
S-sorry... I just didn't want to let you down... Not after you put your faith in me...you know?

Chrom
Is that what this is about?

Stahl
Ever since you lavished me with all that praise, I've been very anxious... Becoming the mightiest knight in the halidom is a lot harder than I thought! I'm not so arrogant to think I'd actually live up to that, but I knew I had to try...

Chrom
...I see. It seems I owe you an apology. I only meant to encourage you—to let you know that your efforts were appreciated. I certainly didn't intend for you to try to take on the enemy single handed!

Stahl
No, of course not... I never should've—

Chrom
Listen, Stahl... It makes no difference to me whether you're the mightiest knight in the realm. What matters is that you're healthy and able to help us win this war. To fight together with us not only as comrades...but as friends.

Stahl
Wow, I... I don't know what to say...

Chrom
Just say that you understand.

Stahl
Oh, I absolutely understand! In fact, I swear upon my family's honor to fight harder than anyone has ever— ...Wait. I'm doing it again. Heh. All right, let's just say this: I promise to do my best to help us get through this war—together.

Chrom
That's more like it.

Stahl
Whew... I have to say, it feels good to get that off my back... My appetites returning already!

Chrom
Ha! Now that's the Stahl I know. It's good to have you back, friend.


Vaike > Frederick

Vaike
Aw, man, is this great or what? Clear water, blue skies, white sand... Time to finish cleanin' this mess so we can get to havin' fun!

Frederick
Do not allow yourself to be distracted, Vaike. The battle is not won yet. A single moment's lost concentration is all it takes for a soldier to lose his life.

Vaike
You think ol' Teach don't know that? Relax already! Nobody's sayin' we should up and throw a clambake or anything! Would it kill ya to loosen your codpiece and enjoy life a little?

Frederick
It very well might. I remind you again—we are in the midst of battle.

Vaike
At ease, Commander Killjoy! Ya gotta learn to lighten up! Just 'cause ya dress like a tin can don't mean ya gotta be as stiff as one. Heck, maybe that's the problem right there—it's like a million degrees out! You should try bein' like Teach here. Lose the armor, and get some air!

Frederick
You presume to know the discomfort of armor? You who wear almost none?

Vaike
Hey, just 'cause I don't know what it feels like in there don't mean I ain't right! Bah, I'm done listenin' to you anyhow. All the Vaike hears is the sweet call of the sea!

Frederick
......

Vaike
What's with the grimace? You getting' constipated or somethin'?

Frederick
Very well. If this is how it must be...

Vaike
Finally comin' around to Teach's way of thinkin', huh? All right! Let's get ya outta—

Frederick
Unhand me and stand to attention, soldier!

Vaike
Huh? What's with you all of a sudden? Did all that sun finally get to ya?

Frederick
Your slovenly soldering will disgrace this army no longer! You will learn the focus and resolve of a warrior, or you will die trying! The road to discipline begins here!

Vaike
You gotta be kiddin' me...


Frederick > Vaike

Vaike
*Pant* *huff* *gasp* Can't believe...the Vaike is havin' to...run laps in the sand like this... Who woulda thought Frederick could be...so punishing...

Frederick
I don't recall ordering you to take a break! Keep those feet moving, soldier! One and two and one and two!

Vaike
Eh?! How are ya always...right behind me? How do ya...keep up in that armor?

Frederick
You're wasting valuable breath, soldier! One and two and one and two! Keep it up!

Vaike
But this sand's so damn...deep...*gasp* I can barely lift my...legs...

Frederick
Precisely. Running through sand punishes the muscles of the lower body. That is why it presents such a fantastic training opportunity.

Vaike
But...*huff*...dammit, it...hurts... I can barely...move... -collapses off screen, then comes back- Urgh... Just gonna...rest for a second... The Vaike's...*pant*...his his limit... *Wheeze*

Frederick
It is only by pushing beyond one's limit that new strength can be attained. You wish to become stronger, do you not? Then you cannot waste this opportunity. Back at it, soldier!

Vaike
B-but I've been running for hours! I must be plenty strong by...now... *Pant* *gasp* P-please... The Vaike's beggin' you... Just lemme...take a quick dip... Between the sweat and the sun, I'm gonna shrivel up and die here!

Frederick
*Sigh* Very well. I suppose it can't be helped.

Vaike
R-really...?! You're gonna...let ol' Teach cool off in the drink...?

Frederick
But of course. If you'll just strap these weights on for me first...

Vaike
Oh, for the love of the gods!


Vaike > Stahl

Vaike
Ain't over there... And it sure ain't over here... Did it get swept out to sea...? Nah, it couldn't have—I had it when I sliced that brigand! Man, this is drivin' me nuts... Did it get buried in the sand? Like, so covered I can't even see it? I know you're somewhere on this beach, baby! The Vaike'll find ya somehow! Man, Teach ain't got time to waste... Time to break out the ol' Clearcutter!

Stahl
Vaike, there's a battle going on! What are you doing over here?

Vaike
I lost my better half! She's gotta be buried here somewhere...

Stahl
Oh? You lost your axe again, huh? Did you try looking—

Vaike
Quiet! The Vaike can handle this! Just gotta get rid of this sand with the Clearcutter...

Stahl
Clearcutter... That's one of your special moves, right? And how does it go again?

Vaike
Huh? Well, I just grip the ol' axe low, like this, and start a-spinnin'!

Stahl
You grip your axe, huh? And what was it you were looking for again?

Vaike
You take a blow to the head, Stahl? I just told you! My beloved— ...Oh.

Stahl
You've been holding it the entire time.

Vaike
I have, huh... Uh, I mean—whoa! Where'd ya come from, baby?

Stahl
I just told you, you were holding it the entir—

Vaike
Then why in the seven halls didn't ya say so in the first place?

Stahl
I didn't think I needed to! It was right there in your hand!

Vaike
You don't get it, huh? This axe is like a part of the Vaike! How's a guy supposed to notice somethin' that's always there? I mean, I bet you just never up and think, "Whoa, here are my arms!"

Stahl
Uh...no. No, I don't... But I think I get what you're saying. Sometimes my weapon feels like a part of me too...

Vaike
It does, huh? Then how come you ain't holdin' it?

Stahl
Huh? It's right— Hey! My lance!

Vaike
See? I bet it's buried in the sand somewhere! Hah!


Stahl > Vaike

Stahl
Vaike, I found it! I found my lance! See that umbrella over there? Look familiar?

Vaike
Huh? The brigands are usin' it as an umbrella pole? Wish I thought of that...

Stahl
That lance has saved countless lives! It can't be used to prop up an umbrella!

Vaike
Well, that's why ya gotta respect your weapon! Ya can't let it outta your sight!

Stahl
Huh? You're one to talk! *sigh* Anyway, what are we going to do?

Vaike
Whaddya think we're gonna do? Bash some heads and get it back, of course!

Stahl
I guess so. I'd never be able to look you in the eye again otherwise...

Vaike
Huh? What's this got to do with the Vaike?

Stahl
Come on, Vaike! Don't tell me you've forgotten? Don't you remember the promise we made? Right after we joined the Shepherds?

Vaike
Oh, that? Yeah, some sappy junk about always bein' there for each other, right?

Stahl
Uh, no... Has the heat gone to your head or something?

Vaike
Nah, ol' Teach is just messin' with ya. Of course I remember! I crossed my axe with your lance, and we vowed to become great warriors together!

Stahl
Exactly! So to lose the very weapon I swore upon would be to fail completely in my vow.

Vaike
Hey, if you're a failure for losin' a weapon once, what does that say about me?

Stahl
Heh. It says we both still have a long way to go...

Vaike
Exactly. So let's get started by moppin' up these chumps!

Stahl
Good point. This great warrior stuff comes one victory at a time, after all.

Vaike
From your lips to Naga's ears, hah! Now let's go crack some skulls!

Stahl
I'm right behind you!


Vaike > Ricken

Vaike
Cripes, this heat is stiflin'...Makes ya wanna hop right in the drink, don't it?

Ricken
Uh-huh... Sure...

Vaike
Hey, are you even listenin'? ...Wait, yer readin' a book? Here?!

Ricken
I've got a lot of studying to do! I can't afford to fall behind.

Vaike
Lemme tell ya, kid—readin' books ain't gonna cause no sudden growth spurts.

Ricken
Huh? What's that got to do with anything? Reading won't stunt my growth, either!

Vaike
Yeah, maybe not. But you could be usin' that time to pump iron!

Ricken
And I could be using THIS time to study! Would you let me study in peace?

Vaike
Fine, but don't come cryin' tome when your brain boils over!

Ricken
Forunately, my head's not filled with soup like yours.

Vaike
Hey! I happen to like soup!

Ricken
*Sigh* But I do know what you mean... I know I won't get to be like Chrom just by reading books all the time. Books won't make me as strong or as handsome or as kind...

Vaike
It's always Chrom, Chrom, Chrom with you, ain't it? Don't you have any love for the Vaike?

Ricken
Huh? Well, I mean...you're pretty buff, I guess? That's kinda admirable...

Vaike
Gee, thanks, kid. I'm touched. But all right, let's see... If ya wanna get stronger, why don't ya try liftin' that big 'ol book while you read it? You can work your arms while ya work your brain—two birds, one stone!

Ricken
That's actually not a bad idea...especially coming from you!

Vaike
See? Maybe Teach's head ain't so full of soup after all! ...Wait, whaddya mean especially comin' from me?!

Ricken
Heh heh. I'm just messing around. Come on, why don't we both give it a try?

Vaike
...All right. Gimme one of them fancy books of yours. Somethin' heavy. Maybe Teach can learn a thing or two while he's doin' reps!

Ricken
Sure! We can both try to make up for our respective shortcomings. I'll work on improving my strength...and you can focus on fixing your mental deficiencies!

Vaike
Sounds like a pl— HEEEY, wait a minute!


Ricken > Vaike

Ricken
Eleven...Twelve... *pant* Phew... Working out while reading is a lot harder than I thought it'd be. The words all blur together... Just looking at them is giving me a headache! Hmm... Oh, I know! I'll just lay the book flat on the ground and do push-ups over it! Okay... One, and... Two... No, this is even worse. My sweat is dripping all over the pages.

Vaike
Greetings, dear Ricken!

Ricken
Hey, Vaike. Man, this whole reading-and-working-out thing is a real pain. Hey, wait a second—why are you talking like that?

Vaike
Why, whatever do ya mean, my good lad?

Ricken
A-are you okay?

Vaike
Me? I feel wondrous! I assure you there is no cause for alarm.

Ricken
I think there is—you sound like you've swallowed a dictionary!

Vaike
Ha! The Vai—I mean, I—have educated myself by reading the book you lent me. Did you know that the three fundamental types of magic are fire, wind, and thunder?

Ricken
Of course I knew that!

Vaike
Additionally, there is dark magic, which cannot be cast be conventional sorcerers. It is said that the people of Plegia are especially adept at using dark magic.

Ricken
Yes, it is—by everybody who knows anything! But, hmm... It does seem like you've been studying hard. If you keep this up, soon no one'll need me around anymore...

Vaike
It is indeed true that I have found great stimulation in the world of scholarship. Why, I may even be tempted to lay down my axe and pursue a life of study! Heh he— Ugh!

Ricken
Huh? Vaike? Vaike! He...he just collapsed! Vaike?! Speak to me!

Vaike
Unnnnngh... Head...hurts... Like wakin' from a nightmare...

Ricken
Whoa. Maybe your brain got overloaded by the sudden rush of activity... Like, it shut down from having absorbed more information than it can process...

Vaike
Huh? The Vaike's what did what, now? You sayin' you know somethin'?

Ricken
Umm... No! No, I...I have no idea. I just found you lying here... Really.

Vaike
Huh! Well, whatever. Ol' Teach is feelin' right after that little nap! Let's get back to kickin' brigand butt, shall we?

Ricken
S-sure, let's do that! (I think I'll just keep this little episode to myself...)


Miriel > Sumia

Miriel
...... ...... ......

Sumia
Er... Miriel?

Miriel
I am quite well, thank you.

Sumia
O-oh, really? That's good to hear. ...But what I was actually going to ask is: Why are you staring at me like that?

Miriel
I would prefer it if you refrained from addressing me directly. It is imperative that you pretend I'm not here, or the results will be compromised.

Sumia
The results? What results?

Miriel
The results of my observations, of course.

Sumia
Observations...? Er, what observations?

Miriel
I'm trying to determine if you are a simple clod, or if your clumsiness is in fact an act. Dissimulation intended to elicit attention and sympathy from male colleagues.

Sumia
What?! You think I PRETEND to fall over just for attention? That is so unfair! I'm a little clumsy sometimes, but never on purpose, and never EVER to attract men!

Miriel
You seem defensive, but I mean you no offense. I find it admirable that you can turn an apparent failing to your advantage.

Sumia
B-but I don't! I'm not that kind of person!

Miriel
Fascinating. You seem sincere. Perhaps the behavior is induced subconsciously. Could this be evidence of a naturally occurring reproductive strategy? It's hardly difficult to deduce how such a solution would self-perpetuate. Displays of helplessness serve to attract mates of a protective predisposition. This in turn increases the likelihood of infant survival... It's really quite simple.

Sumia
Um...what?

Miriel
Please continue. Pay me no mind. I must see your charms in action.

Sumia
All right, Miriel, that's enough! I don't LIKE being a klutz, okay? I hate it!

Miriel
Good, good! The quivering lip, the tearful eyes... These are powerful signals. Males of the requisite predisposition will begin to congregate around you shortly.

Sumia
GAH! Miriel! You can be SUCH a— Whoooa-AAARGH!

Miriel
Sumia?

Sumia
Now look what you made me do! I'm absolutely COVERED in sand.

Miriel
Truly fascinating...


Sumia > Miriel

Miriel
Sumia.

Sumia
What do you want? ...You're not here to stare at me again, are you?

Miriel
That won't be necessary. I have amassed all the data I require. The evidence is overwhelming. All that remains is for me to deliver my conclusion.

Sumia
Your...conclusion?

Miriel
My objective was to determine whether or not your frequent pratfalls were deliberate. The inescapable conclusion is that they are.

Sumia
Wha—?! No way! Y-you've made a mistake! You must have!

Miriel
I'm afraid not. Did I not observe you practicing your poses before a mirror earlier?

Sumia
*Gasp*

Miriel
You were plainly trying to determine the angle from which you looked most pitiable. Now, come! Confess all! The role of the bumbling clod is naught but pretense! A ruse subtly and deliberately enacted to attract the attentions of men!

Sumia
Miriel... Why, you... Tee hee hee hee hee... BWAH HA HA HA HA HAH! Very well! I confess! Every word you say is true! And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for your meddling experiments! My clumsiness, the silly flower fortunes...all of them carefully calculated lies. Every bumbling pratfall, every empty-headed utterance...meant only to attract men. But don't think I'm sorry. No, not one bit! All's fair in love and war, sister. A girl has the right to use every weapon in her arsenal. EVERY ONE!

Miriel
...Indeed. It is as I long suspected.

Sumia
And you just HAD to go and find me out, didn't you? But now you know something you weren't supposed to know... And I'm going to have to make sure no one else ever learns my secret!

Miriel
Wh-whatever do you m-mean? ...What do you intend to do?!

Sumia
Hee hee! You're the clever one. Why don't YOU figure it out? Do you REALLY think I'm going to let you blab this to everyone in the army?

Miriel
B-but...surely you wouldn't...? Not that? Y-you're not the type... Ugh... Uwaaargh... M-my head is starting to spin... My vision grows blurred... I hear voices...in the distance...

Sumia
—iriel? –hear me? Miriel?! Miriel, are you okay?! MIRIEL?!

Miriel
...WAH! Who—? What—? What just happened to me?

Sumia
I don't know! You said you were feeling light headed, and then you keeled over! I was so worried... It looked like you'd seen a ghost or something!

Miriel
You tended to me as I lay unconscious?

Sumia
Of course! Friends are supposed to look after each other, right?

Miriel
Did I...? Did I just imagine all that? About your...dissimulation?

Sumia
My dissimu-what? What are you talking about?

Miriel
Oh...heh... N-nothing at all... Please ignore me. No, of course not... How could one so guileless ever hope to maintain an elaborate charade? Sumia, I am truly sorry I doubted you, even if it was in the midst of a feverish vision.

Sumia
Er, sure? But I don't know why you're apologizing... But hey, look! The color's come back into your cheeks! You're going to be just fine.

Miriel
Yes, I feel much improved already. You have my gratitude, Sumia.

Sumia
Hey, anytime!


Miriel > Maribelle

Maribelle
Oh my... This heat is absolutely, unutterably unbearable! What have I done to the gods to deserve such unjust punishment? Do they mean to blemish my perfect, porcelain skin with this scorching sun? Or do they think my darling, dainty parasol enough to fend off these ravaging rays? And to add insult to injury, I must watch these fools frolic in the sand like children? The heat has clearly melted away what little reason they had in the first place... Wouldn't you agree, Miriel?

Miriel
......

Maribelle
*Sigh* Deep in study again, aren't you? I must say I admire your strength of will, maintaining focus in the infernal heat... Or have you cast some sort of spell to keep yourself cool?

Miriel
No such spell exists. I simply cannot squander the opportunity to study this behavior in the field.

Maribelle
And what behavior might that be?

Miriel
The loss of human inhibition in response to intense sunlight. It is truly an intriguing phenomenon.

Maribelle
Well, it certainly has me baffled...

Miriel
Clearly, participant observation is the logical next step. Only experimental evidence can provide the further inside I need.

Maribelle
Are you saying you're going to gather data by playing on the beach? *Sigh* A brain the size of a planet, and even you can't help acting like a simpleton... Well, at least we have some evidence that you may be human after all...

Miriel
I shall begin by cavorting with the brigands encamped along the beach here. –leaves-

Maribelle
You'll what?! Miriel, wait! It isn't safe! Get back here!


Maribelle > Miriel

Maribelle
Miriel! Are you all right?

Miriel
Yes, I am fine. But I failed to collect any meaningful data.

Maribelle
It wasn't your research I was concerned about...

Miriel
The subjects surrounded me and subjected me to some form of primitive social ritual. They asked meaningless questions about my birth sign and place of origin. I grew tired of being addressed as "baby" and fought my way clear.

Maribelle
I see... Well, we can be thankful that you came away unscathed at least.

Miriel
Such simplistic creatures couldn't harm me if they tried.

Maribelle
Heh. I suppose you're right.

Miriel
But it seems I must reevaluate my data-gathering approach.

Maribelle
Perhaps I can be of assistance. May I help you with your research after the battle?

Miriel
I fail to see what scientific value your complaints about the heat will bring...

Maribelle
Hmph! That's hardly fair. You wish to see what it's like to enjoy the sun, do you not? Well, running like a ninny through the sand and surf is not the only way to do it! I shall teach you a more sophisticated way to appreciate these tropical climes.

Miriel
Hmm... There may be value in such an approach. Very well—I accept your offer.


Kellam > Frederick

Frederick
Hello, Kellam.

Kellam
Y-you noticed me standing here? I guess nothing gets by the great Frederick, huh?

Frederick
What are you talking about? You were standing in plain sight.

Kellam
Well, as you probably know by now, I tend to...lack a strong presence. So, uh...thanks.

Frederick
It isn't you who should be thanking me, Kellam. Your presence is always felt. And more than that, it is greatly valued. I cannot count the number of times you have come to my aid in battle.

Kellam
Wow... It means a lot to me to hear you say that.

Frederick
I only wish that others among our number were as reliable as you. And as vigilant...

Kellam
Why, has something happened?

Frederick
Local miscreants have been spotted near the camp. I fear they are poised to take advantage of the distraction caused by the brigands. It is up to the likes of you and I to remain wary and ever vigilant.

Kellam
Well, you can count on me!

Solider
Forgive the interruption, sir! There's been an incident...

Frederick
What manner of incident?

Soldier
A burglary, sir! ...All of our swimsuits have been stolen!

Frederick
Damn them. It's just as I suspected... Cowards and opportunists!

Kellam
The miscreants you mentioned?

Frederick
It would seem so. Men, lead me to the crime scene.

Kellam
Wait. I'm coming too!


Frederick > Kellam

Frederick
Take the prisoner away. See that justice is done.

Soldier
Yes, sir! Thank you for your help, sir!

Frederick
.....It is you they should be thanking, Kellam. You certainly have my gratitude.

Kellam
Oh, I...I didn't really...

Frederick
Please. No need for modesty. You caught the culprit singlehanded. Had he escaped, it would have been a huge embarrassment for us all.

Kellam
W-well, I'm just happy to have been useful for once...

Frederick
And yet...I still cannot fathom how you apprehended the rogue with such ease...

Kellam
Well, that's... It's like I was saying... I don't have much of a presence... I was standing outside the tent, and he came out and walked right past me. He was looking really shifty, making sure he wasn't being followed... But he didn't seem to notice me at all, so I just walked up and grabbed him...

Frederick
Intriguing. This lack of presence of yours is beginning to seem like a rare talent!

Kellam
I...I dunno about that...

Frederick
And this is not the first time. Did a bandit not once infiltrate the Shepherds' garrison? It was you who captured him, was it not?

Kellam
Oh, right. Yeah. I was napping in the barracks, and the guy didn't see me...

Frederick
Then we Shepherds have had reason to give thanks for your gift more than once. Kellam, may your gods-given lack of presence continue to protect us all!

Kellam
Um... Thanks? Never thought I'd hear anyone talk about it quite like that...


Donnel > Virion

Donnel
......

Virion
I am warm enough without the heat of your gaze, Donnel. Can I help you?

Donnel
No, sir! I was just admirin' yer noble fanciness, is all. Reckon there ain't nobody dresses as nice, nor walks and talks quite the way ya do. I'm awfully sorry for gapin', but we don't see so many folks like you back where I'm from.

Virion
Ah! Of course I understand, Donnel. Your reaction is entirely natural. I was born into nobility and raised to take pride in my breeding. One might even say that I am the perfect gentleman! So I daresay I cut a rather awe-inspiring figure to the likes of your good self...

Donnel
Wow, you're as confident as a bull in a rut! I sure do wish I could be just like ya!

Virion
Do you indeed? Then I suspect you do not know the true burden of high birth.

Donnel
Ya don't say?

Virion
I do. While it is proper for you to envy your betters, you're seeing only the surface. Yes, it is true we nobles live in a world of splendor and majesty... We dress in the finest clothes... We cavort with the finest of maidens... We feast upon the finest delicacies! And all with the utmost ease and grace. I imagine a commoner like yourself often dreams of such a seemingly charmed life.

Donnel
You bet yer right arm I do!

Virion
Ahh, dear, simple Donnel... Would that my life were as carefree as you imagine it. But alas, no. When we next speak, I shall tell you the other side of this sad tale...

Donnel
Well, shoot, I don't rightly know what yer talkin' about, but sure! Much obliged!


Virion > Donnel

Donnel
If yer still fixin' to tell me more about bein' a bigwig, Virion, I'd sure like to hear it!

Virion
Ah, but of course. I promised to tell you of the woes of noble birth. Very well... Now, I suspect you have often bemoaned the idleness of the ruling classes, yes?

Donnel
Sure have! We simple folk work doggone hard from cocks crow to sundown! But ain't one of us could afford to buy so much as a simple crown or carriage or...

Virion
I sympathize deeply, of course. But do you really think we nobles are without hardship?

Donnel
Hardship like hoein' turnips till yer back's fit to break, ya mean? I sorta doubt it...

Virion
As I have stated, I am sympathetic to the daily tribulations of the peasantry. But you must understand—we nobles spend our days with our very lives on the line!

Donnel
Yer very lives, huh?

Virion
Indeed. We are expected to protect our subjects, no matter what the cost. In times of conflict, we stand on the front lines with our weapons drawn. We must be a shield to protect the people. And at times, we must die for them. This is our duty. And it is one we may neither shirk not shrink from. Such is the burden of nobility.

Donnel
I reckon I can see what yer getting' at... So yer lives may look mighty easy, but all that lollygaggin' comes at a price?

Virion
Precisely, my dear Donnel! I am so pleased that you understand!

Donnel
So yer like heroes, huh? Chargin' to the rescue when the common folk are in danger! Well, shuck my corn, I oughta tell ya that makes me feel a dang sight safer. It's mighty nice knowin' yer all set to throw down yer life for me at the drop of a hat!

Virion
P-pardon me?! Why would I—?!

Donnel
Why, 'cause I'm a lowly, hard-workin' peasant, and yer a big, mighty lord! Weren't ya just sayin' how it's yer duty to protect us little folks?

Virion
Ah, well, I should clarify that a nobleman's duty is to the peasants of his fief—

Donnel
Yee-haw, it sure is a load off knowin' I got my own personal bodyguard! Thanks for lookin' out for me, Yer Honor! And keep up the good work!

Virion
N-no, Donnel, you misunderstand, I— ...And he's gone. *Sigh* It seems we still have a few misconceptions to address...


Donnel > Gregor

Donnel
*Siiigh*

Gregor
Oy, what is meaning of deep sigh, little farming friend?

Donnel
Oh, howdy, Gregor. I was just ponderin' stuff, is all. Seein' this pretty ocean got me to thinkin'...

Gregor
Such melancholy is not usual behavior for you, yes? Come, share thoughts with Gregor. Soon we will be kissing sadness good-bye!

Donnel
That's awful kind of ya, but...well, okay. I s'pose I can chat to ya for a bit. The thing is, I'm wonderin', Gregor... What do ya think about war?

Gregor
War? Hmm, is quite tall philosophical question... Why are you asking?

Donnel
Well, the thing is, I pretty much hate it. War done killed my pa, and the folks in my village are strugglin' just to survive... And they ain't the only ones, neither. People all over the world are sufferin'.

Gregor
Yes, is very sad truth, unfortunately...

Donnel
But at the same time, I been meetin' all kinds'a fine folks durin' this campaign... Roamin' the world, goin' on adventures... Doin' lotsa stuff I never done before...

Gregor
Indeed, Gregor is feeling same way.

Donnel
It's the change of a lifetime is what it is, but it only came my way 'cause of the war. So it's got me wonderin': Should I be thankin' the war instead'a cursin' it?

Gregor
Hmm. Is difficult question you are posing... Gregor will need some time to consider.

Donnel
Sure. I ain't in no hurry. What say we both chew it over for a spell?


Gregor > Donnel

Gregor
Mmm... Is very beautiful ocean... When Gregor is gazing upon blue waters, he is for short time forgetting about war.

Donnel
Hey there, Gregor. Speakin' of war...

Gregor
Ah, yes. Is ethical problem from before. Gregor has spent much time considering, but sadly, answer has not arrived...

Donnel
Well, I gots another question for ya. I hope ya don't think I'm bein' rude, but...yer what they call a sellsword, right? Doesn't that mean ya actually NEED wars just to put bread on the table?

Gregor
Unhappily, what you say is truth. But often, Gregor, too, is needing rest from bloodshed. Many times, in fact, he is thinking to himself that no more war would be a good thing.

Donnel
Really? Even for you?

Gregor
Yes, even for Gregor, fearless and extremely handsome sellsword! He has been doing this job for a very long time, you know? But even Gregor must eat, yes? So for coin, he does what he does best. But now, he is very often thinking...maybe time has come for putting down sword and picking up plowshare. Of course, Gregor is also happy that in war, he has met many good friends...

Donnel
Well, I'll be! I didn't realize you were thinkin' of turnin' yer hand to farmin'... Y'know what? I just had me a great idea! Once this war's over, why don't ya come back and live in my village?

Gregor
...Live in your village? Gregor could do this?

Donnel
Sure! Ya could come help out on the farm! Y'know, plowin' fields, harvestin' crops...that sorta thing.

Gregor
Hmm... Is nice idea, but...your village was almost destroyed by fighting, yes? Perhaps fellow villagers won't take kindly to nasty sellsword living next door...

Donnel
Aw, don't worry 'bout that. Us farmers always welcome an extra pair'a hands! Yer background won't matter none, and I'd vouch for ya in any case.

Gregor
Hm, yes... Gregor is thinking this idea perhaps not so bad! Young Donnel is very lucky to have a warm home to return to. Gregor, he not so lucky. He is like rolling stone with no place for feather in hat, yes? Anyway, Gregor is honored by little farming friend's offer. He will consider seriously.

Donnel
Yee-haw! Once yer mind's made up, you just let me know, friend.


Lon'qu > Libra

Lon'qu
Libra. There you are.

Libra
Good day, Lon'qu. Can I help you with something?

Lon'qu
Drop the pretense—I want the same thing as you. Come and fight me!

Libra
What?! Where is this coming from?

Lon'qu
I've been watching you for some time. You style yourself a peace-loving man of the cloth. But your love of battle is as plain as the nose on your face. I know you lust for greater strength, just as I do!

Libra
Is this really what you see in me?

Lon'qu
Stop this foolish charade and draw your weapon. You can cover yourself in all the white robes and piety you like. It won't hide the bloodlust in your eyes!

Libra
I'm sorry, Lon'qu, but I decline.

Lon'qu
What?! Why? Do you not think of me a worthy rival? Am I not capable of challenging you?

Libra
Quite the opposite. I fear you may have overestimated me. I'm no power-hungry lover of war. I am a servant of the gods. I fight to protect mankind, and nothing else.

Lon'qu
Truly?

Libra
Truly. I'm honored that you consider me a warrior worthy of challenging. But I'm afraid I have no interest in dueling. Now, if you'll excuse me...

Lon'qu
......


Libra > Lon'qu

Lon'qu
So this is where you've been hiding.

Libra
What is it now, Lon'qu? If it's about our previous conversation, I told you—

Lon'qu
You told me nothing. I need to know the truth behind the fire in your eyes... You can't tell me that the fury you show on the battlefield is born of mere piety. So tell me the truth, or you'll face me in battle. It's as simple as that!

Libra
And what do you hope to gain by badgering me into fighting you? Please. You've exhausted my patience. Leave me in peace.

Lon'qu
......

Libra
Are you really so desperate to know my past? Fine. If you insist. Although I suspect you've guessed one part of my story already.

Lon'qu
And what part might that be?

Libra
That while I now serve the gods with all my heart, I wasn't always so...priestly. My parents never wanted me, never warmed me, and abandoned me at a young age. I can't say the the childhood that followed was a happy one...

Lon'qu
......

Libra
Perhaps some bitterness still lurks in the heart that beats beneath these robes. Maybe it's the dark shadow of my youth that manifests itself on the battlefield...

Lon'qu
It seems you and I really aren't so different after all.

Libra
Oh?

Lon'qu
I have a past I'm not so keen on discussing, either. I carry the same darkness as you...

Libra
Lon'qu...

Lon'qu
But you...you're strong enough to keep that darkness buried deep within you. It's that strength of will that gives you such power on the battlefield.

Libra
Heh... That's certainly an interpretation I'd like to believe.

Lon'qu
I'm glad I understand the foundation of your strength now. But I'm sorry for forcing you to speak of such painful memories.

Libra
There's no need to apologize. It's not a story I can share with just anyone... I feel better having been able to talk about it with you.

Lon'qu
Then I'm glad. If there's ever anything you want to say, know that you can say it to me.

Libra
Thank you, Lon'qu.


Ricken > Chrom

Ricken
Hey, Chrom! Wait up!

Chrom
What is it, Ricken?

Ricken
You've got sand on your shoulder guard. Here, let me brush it off.

Chrom
Oh, I see. Thank you, Ricken. All done?

Ricken
Yep, just like new! Say, can I see your sword?

Chrom
All right, but just for a second. I'm kind of using it at the moment.

Ricken
...I knew it. See here? That's rust. Let me give it a quick polish here...

Chrom
Look, Ricken, I'm very grateful, but this isn't exactly the best timing... In any case, why the sudden concern? What's this about?

Ricken
Well, you know how I look up to you and want to be like you when I get older, right? I figure if I help you out with odd jobs here and there, we might end up forming a bond! And the closer we get, the better I can understand what it takes to be like you.

Chrom
Er, I see... But, Ricken, I'm not sure brushing sand off me in the midst of battle is the best way—

Ricken
Oh, but it totally IS! And I'll prove it! I'm going to keep it up, no matter what!

Chrom
*Sigh* If you insist. But can I at least have my sword back?

Ricken
Oh, right. Here you go. Now let's go fight! And don't you worry about sand anymore!


Chrom > Ricken

Ricken
*Pant, pant*

Chrom
Ricken, are you all right?

Ricken
*Gasp* Oh, yep! Definitely! Never been better! Just sticking close and watching your back, like I said I would!

Chrom
You sure you're not overdoing it? It's much hotter here than in Ylisse. And trudging through this sand is hard work, even without full battle gear. I won't want you to wear yourself out trying to keep up with me.

Ricken
I'm okay, I swear! Completely fine! I...I'm going to stick with you no matter what... Even if the battle goes on and on...and on...and you move...so fast...I'm gonna...stick... Unnngh...

Chrom
Ricken!

Ricken
...Huh? Oh, man! Did I pass out? I'm really sorry, Chrom...

Chrom
No need to apologize. You just need to remember that you're still young. There are limits to how far you can push yourself—physically AND mentally...

Ricken
Curses...

Chrom
Not what you wanted to hear, I know.

Ricken
No. Not really.

Chrom
Look, I know this is hard, especially coming from someone you look up to. But you have to accept the fact that you're too young to do everything you want to. You have to take things one step at a time. You can't rush things. After all, knowing your limitations is an important part of becoming a man.

Ricken
So you're saying I should just accept the fact that I'm still a kid...

Chrom
I am. But don't worry—you're here because you're already strong for your age. And you're only going to get stronger. You just have to be patient. Anyway, you can go on fighting at my side, but only if you try not to overdo it. Deal?

Ricken
...Okay, deal!

Chrom
Good. Now, you ready to get back to it? We've got some brigands to deal with.

Ricken
Yeah. Th-thanks, Chrom. I won't let you down!

Chrom
Attaboy!

Ricken
H-hey! Hands off the hair! If you want to tousle something, get a lapdog! Yeesh. I may be a kid, but I still have my pride, you know...

Chrom
Ha ha! Sounds like you've fully recovered. All right, Ricken—I'm counting on you!

Ricken
Right!


Maribelle > Sumia

Maribelle
Strange. I can't shake the uncomfortable feeling that someone is staring at me. Perhaps here on this golden sand, I've caught the eye of a hot-blooded gallant... The sun beats down mercilessly, yet it pales in comparison to the heat of his gaze. Hee hee! Oh, Maribelle, you've still got the power to inflame men's passions... Hm? What was that? I could've sworn I heard a soft clunk.

Sumia
Oww! Stupid coconut...

Maribelle
Sumia?! Dear girl, what in the world are you doing hiding behind that palm tree? ...Is that a notebook in your hand? Whatever are you writing?

Sumia
Writing? Me? Er, I wasn't writing, exactly... Just taking some notes, that's all...

Maribelle
So it was YOU who was staring at me so intently?! All right, what's this about? Come now, girl. Out with it!

Sumia
Well, er...I'm not sure if you ever noticed, but...I'm kind of a klutz.

Maribelle
Noticed? I'm quite certain every single person in this army has noticed.

Sumia
Right... So...I'm trying to be more useful to people. To not get in their way all the time. In short, I'm trying to be more like you. You're always so calm and poised, and ever so graceful... I thought I could observe you and, you know, maybe pick up a few pointers.

Maribelle
I see! That's most admirable, Sumia. Self-improvement should never be discouraged. And yet I wonder at your decidedly ambitious choice of role model... Might it not be a bit more practical to set yourself a more...attainable goal?

Sumia
Oh, I know I'll never reach your level. But I want to learn from the best!

Maribelle
*Ahem* Indeed. You are wiser than you appear... Very well, I shall instruct you in the ways of the noblewoman. Lesson one: poise! A noblewoman never allows herself to become flustered.

Sumia
W-wait! I don't have my pen ready! Argh! And I dropped my notebook in the sand! Okay, okay, just a sec. "Flustered = bad." ...Oh, gods! How do you spell that again?! Is it with an "f" or a "ph"? Ugh, I'm falling behind! This is no good! Somebody HELP! *Huff, huff*

Maribelle
*Sigh* Let's forget poise for now and move on to lesson two, shall we? Attire. Attire is extremely important. A lady must always be impeccably dressed.

Sumia
Right... *scribble, scribble*

Maribelle
Those two are the basics, I'd say. The foundations upon which the edifice of noblewomanhood is built.

Sumia
Great! I think I can remember all that! Poise and clothes! No problem!

Maribelle
But, dear, I've hardly begun! There's so much more you need to—

Sumia
Thanks for the help, Maribelle! I don't care what anyone says—you're the greatest! -leaves-

Maribelle
Good gods, did she just run off? Whatever could've possessed her? And why am I entirely certain she's entirely misinterpreted my teachings...?


Sumia > Maribelle

Maribelle
Sumia! There you are. Tell me, how goes the self-improvement? I trust you've been putting my lessons into practice with great success?

Sumia
I've been trying, but...to be honest, it hasn't been going all that well... Okay, it's been going horribly.

Maribelle
I wish I could say I was surprised...

Sumia
I tried to polish my armor, but I rubbed boot blacking on it by mistake... And I was so flustered about my attire that I fell and dropped an armful of lances. Oh, b-but they didn't get damaged or anything! They're just...sandy, is all.

Maribelle
*Sigh* In the field of clumsiness, you are a true innovator, my dear. It's akin to genius. But tell me, is that all that went wrong? If so, you needn't worry yourself over it. After the battle, I'll clean your armor and brush the sand from the lances.

Sumia
N-no! You mustn't!

Maribelle
But, Sumia, dear, we can't very well leave things as they are.

Sumia
I know! But I'll never learn if I don't clean up after my own mistakes. Please, Maribelle. Just give me a bit of time, and I'll make it all right again.

Maribelle
Sumia...

Sumia
I know I'm a complete clod, and I'm sorry if it holds things up, but pleeeeeease?

Maribelle
*Sigh* As you wish. It's really not my place to deny you permission, in any case. You're your own woman, after all. You must do as you see fit. I, meanwhile, must lend you moral support and what advice I may—as a friend should.

Sumia
...A f-friend? Really?! You're SO kind, Maribelle!

Maribelle
Should you...stumble upon anything you can't handle, you need only ask for help.

Sumia
Got it! I'll do that for sure! Okay, I'm off! Bye! –leaves-

Maribelle
Hee hee. She has spirit—I'll give her that. Perhaps she's not a lost cause after all... Give her a year or two, and who knows what she might accomplish!

Sumia
Oww! My knee! Who left this stupid coconut here?!

Maribelle
*Ahem* Perhaps we should make that three or four years...


Panne > Sully

Sully
I've never told anyone this, but...I love rabbits. Big fan.

Panne
That was...out of the blue. What is this about?

Sully
It's true. I used to have one for a pet when I was a kid. She kicked the bucket, though. Nothing crazy—just got old. It was like losing family, though. Real tough. After that, I made do with a stuffed rabbit. I'd take her to bed with me every night.

Panne
...I still don't understand why you're telling me this. Are you trying to convince me of something? Perhaps that under that bluff, mannish exterior, you're as girly as the next woman?

Sully
What? No, nothing of the sort! Where'd you get that fool idea?

Panne
Then what AM I supposed to make of your ridiculous story? Are you saying you want me to take the place of your pet rabbit?

Sully
NO! Dammit, why does there have to be a reason?! I was just feeling nostalgic, that's all. When I saw you, I thought of my bunny. It popped into my head all of a sudden, so I went and blurted out the story. Needless to say, I wish I hadn't...

Panne
I suppose you meant no harm... But remember, we taguel were hunted to near extinction by your kind. And one reason we were hunted was to be given to young man-spawn as pets. Loved for a while, then disposed of when we grew too large...

Sully
...Damn, I had no idea. No wonder she's ticked off. I hope there's some way I can make it up to her...


Sully > Panne

Sully
Mmph... So soft and cuddly......Bwa? Where am I?! Was I asleep? Last thing I remember, I was standing on the beach... The sun beating down...I started feeling dizzy, and—

Panne
Good, you're awake. I became worried when you suddenly keeled over.

Sully
Panne?! Have you been here with me this whole time?

Panne
I have. Did you enjoy your dream? Was it about rabbits, by any chance?

Sully
Huh? How did you—?! Waaait a sec. You didn't turn into a rabbit and snuggle up into my arms, did you?

Panne
...I thought it might help.

Sully
You did that for me...even after I said all that insensitive crap earlier?

Panne
...After I considered it for a spell, I realized that you meant no insult. Your face lit up when you talked about your pet rabbit. I saw that, yet I was harsh with you. For that, I apologize.

Sully
N-no way! Water under the bridge! ...And thanks for comforting me.

Panne
Heh. It was terribly hot being clutched in your arms under the blazing sun, you know. I came close to abandoning you on more than one occasion.

Sully
Hey, I was hot too. Holding on to that ball of fur was like cuddling a baked potato... But it was nice, too, and I didn't wanna let go. It was like I had my old bunny back.

Panne
I'm glad I could help.

Sully
You know, the thing that bugs me is that she died without ever saying a word to me. Yeah, yeah, I know...she was a rabbit, and she couldn't talk, so duh. But that didn't stop me from wishing she could. I always wondered what she thought of me. Did she like being with me? Did she like being my pet? Did I make her happy?

Panne
Well, look at it this way: Did you enjoy your time with her?

Sully
Of course I did.

Panne
Then you have nothing to worry about. Rabbits are sensitive animals, and they can pick up on your emotions very easily. When she looked you in the eye, she knew she was loved. Of that I'm certain.

Sully
...Ha! I like talkin' to you, Panne. You know how to cheer a girl up. Let's do it again sometime, okay? Like right after this fight, maybe.


Gaius > Avatar

Gaius
Oh ho! This spirally blue shell oughta sell for a nice stack of coin.

Robin
Gaius!

Gaius
Oh, hey there, Bubbles. What's with the shouting?

Robin
D-didn't a huge volley of arrows just fall on this exact spot?

Gaius
Oh yeah, a whole bunch of 'em. But I'm fine. They all missed.

Robin
They all missed, huh? And you're not afraid the same thing might happen again? Come on, you need to get out of here!

Gaius
Sorry, but not a good time. You wouldn't believe the treasure that's just lying here! Look at these shells! I can't just leave 'em—they've got to be worth some serious cash!

Robin
Seashells? What, you're going to sell them and use the money to buy candy?

Gaius
Well, something like that, sure.

Robin
Gaius! Look out!

Gaius
Much obliged, Bubbles. You pushed me outta the way just in time.

Robin
"Much obliged"?! That arrow could have killed you! For the love of the gods, stop collecting seashells and take this battle seriously!

Gaius
What, you're saying I'm not taking my fighting seriously now?

Robin
If by "now" you mean when you were almost perforated while gathering shells, then yes!

Gaius
Pah, you were distracting me. I'm here keeping an eye on enemy movements.

Robin
You've gotta be kidding! You're blaming ME for distracting YOU?

Gaius
I didn't say that, exactly. You gotta stop reading so much into everything.

Robin
What?! That's exactly what you said! Hmph! Fine, do whatever you want. Sorry if my trying to save your life cut into your precious seashell-gathering time! You can jump into the ocean and...and go pearl diving for all I care!

Gaius
Huh. He/She didn't seem too happy about that. That pearl-diving bit was pretty weak too. Shoulda stormed away a line earlier...


Avatar > Gaius

Gaius
Seems like I got most of the good shells on this stretch of the beach. Oh, wait. Looks like I missed something over there... What the...? It's wrapped in paper... Hey, this is a piece of coconut brittle! There's a whole line of 'em! Sweet, sweet candy as far as the eye can see! Man, this must be my lucky day. Well, time to start filling my pockets! ...... ......

Robin
......

Gaius
Wha—? Bubbles!

Robin
Good job, Mr. Master Thief. I can't believe that actually worked.

Gaius
Wait... You're the one who left all that candy lying around?

Robin
Yep. I needed to figure out a way to lead you here. Who would've thought the simplest idea would turn out to be the best?

Gaius
Hmph. What's with trying to lure me here anyhow? First you run off all upset, and now you're trying to reel me back in? Like to wear a guy out before hitting him with a second dose of lectures, huh?

Robin
Actually, I wanted to apologize about before.

Gaius
Huh? Did a coconut fall on your head or something?

Robin
Frederick saw our little talk earlier, and he filled me in. He told me why you're always on the hunt for valuables. It's not so you can buy candy, is it? It's so you can help fund the army.

Gaius
*Sigh* That little tattletale... I told him not to say anything—especially around you or Chrom.

Robin
Well, regardless of that, now I know, and I feel absolutely terrible. Thanks for performing such a vital service—and for being so modest about it.

Gaius
Pah, don't worry about it. If I'd wanted gratitude, I'd have told you myself. ...Still, at least now you know I WAS talking things seriously back there.

Robin
Thanks, Gaius. But it really is dangerous out here. Why don't you call it a day?

Gaius
Are you kidding? The more money we make, the better gear we can buy, right?

Robin
Hm. It's true we could use the money for new equipment... But it's not worth risking valuable military assets to acquire funds. And believe me, Gaius, you're a valuable asset. And an even more valuable friend.

Gaius
...... All right, let's say I do hold off on the treasure hunting—what's in it for me?

Robin
You...you want a reward?! B-but I don't have anything to offer...

Gaius
Heh, I'm just kidding, Bubbles. These coconut brittles are payment enough. It's good to know someone like you is looking out for someone like me.

Robin
Gaius...

Gaius
Well, now that we've made nice, you can go on ahead. I need to make sure I didn't miss any of these tasty little fellas.

Robin
What? But it's too dangerous! They're firing more arrows! Gaius, wait! Listen, I'll give you more candy later! Gaius? Gaiuuus! Gah, I knew I shouldn't have left so many of those stupid things...


Gaius > Avatar (spouse)

Gaius
Oh ho! This spirally blue shell oughta sell for a nice stack of coin! And this one... That color'd really bring out Bubbles's eyes...

Robin
Gaius!

Gaius
Oh, hey there, baby. What's with the shouting? You just that excited to see me?

Robin
What are you talking about? Didn't a huge volley of arrows just fall on this exact spot?

Gaius
Oh yeah, a whole bunch of 'em. But I'm fine. They all missed.

Robin
They all missed, huh? And you're not afraid the same thing might happen again? Come on, you need to get out of here!

Gaius
Sorry, but not a good time. You wouldn't believe the treasure that's just lying here! Look at these shells! I can't just leave 'em—they've got to be worth some serious cash!

Robin
Seashells? What, you're going to sell them and use the money to buy candy?

Gaius
Well, something like that, sure.

Robin
Gaius! Look out!

Gaius
Much obliged, Bubbles. You pushed me outta the way just in time.

Robin
"Much obliged"?! That arrow could have killed you! I don't want to lose you! Not here! And certainly not like that! For the love of the gods, stop collecting seashells and take this battle seriously!

Gaius
What, you're saying I'm not taking my fighting seriously now?

Robin
If by "now" you mean when you were almost perforated while gathering shells, then yes!

Gaius
Pah, you were distracting me. I'm here keeping an eye on enemy movements.

Robin
You've got to be kidding! You're blaming ME for distracting YOU?!

Gaius
I didn't say that, exactly. You gotta stop reading so much into everything.

Robin
What?! That's exactly what you said! Hmph! Fine, do whatever you want. Sorry if my trying to save your life cut into your precious seashell-gathering time! You can jump into the ocean and...and go pearl diving for all I care!

Gaius
Huh. She didn't seem too happy about that. I guess she doesn't see it, but I'm way more careful than I used to be. I used to think that nobody'd care much either way if I kicked the bucket. But that's not true anymore. I've got her now. She said she'd hate to lose me like this... Well, I'd hate to lose her too. But thinking that to myself isn't worth a damn if I can't come out and say it. *Sigh* What's a man to do? ...Ooh! Look at that shell!


Avatar > Gaius

Gaius
Seems I got most of the good shells on this stretch of beach. Oh, wait. Looks like I missed something over there... What the...? It's wrapped in paper... Hey, this is a piece of coconut brittle! There's a whole line of 'em! Sweet, sweet candy, as far as the eye can see! Man, this must be my lucky day. Well, time to start filling my pockets! ...... ......

Robin
......

Gaius
Wha—? Bubbles!

Robin
Good job, Mr. Master Thief, I can't believe that actually worked.

Gaius
Wait... You're the one who left all that candy lying around?

Robin
Yep. I needed to figure out a way to lead you here. Who would've thought the simplest idea would turn out to be the best?

Gaius
Hmph. What's with trying to lure me here anyhow? First you run off all upset, and now you're trying to reel me back in? Like to wear a guy out before hitting him with a second dose of lectures, huh?

Robin
Actually, I wanted to apologize about before.

Gaius
Huh? Did a coconut fall on your head or something?

Robin
Frederick saw our little talk earlier, and he filled me in. He told me that you're always on the hunt for valuables. It's not so you can buy candy, is it? It's so you can help fund the army.

Gaius
*Sigh* That little tattletale... I told him not to say anything—especially around you or Chrom.

Robin
Well, regardless of that, now I know, and I feel absolutely terrible. Thanks for performing such a vital service—and for being so modest about it.

Gaius
Pah, don't worry about it. If I'd wanted gratitude, I'd have told you myself... Still, at least now you know I WAS taking things seriously back there. Anyway, I'm sorry, Bubbles. You were just looking out for me, and I was a jerk.

Robin
Oh, Gaius... It's okay—no harm done. But it really is dangerous out here. Why don't you call it a day?

Gaius
You really worry about me, huh? I should have told you this sooner, but... I really am trying to play it safe these days. I wouldn't want to put a big old frown on that beautiful face of yours, would I?

Robin
But you can't guarantee you won't get hurt. This is war. Anything can happen... I worry about you, Gaius. You're the most important thing in the world to me.

Gaius
...... All right, let's say I do hold off on the treasure hunting—what's in it for me?

Robin
What's in it for you?! You don't get paid for listening to your wife! And even if I wanted to pay you, I don't have anything to give—

Gaius
Yes, you do. Right there.

Robin
Huh...?

Gaius
......

Robin
Mmmph?!

Gaius
Mmm. You taste sweet as sugar, baby. Couldn't resist a little of the old coconut brittle yourself, huh?

Robin
G-Gaius! What are you doing?! We're in the middle of a battle!

Gaius
It's called planting a big, juicy ki—

Robin
Ugh, enough! You're not going to sweet-talk your way out of this one, mister!

Gaius
Geez, would you quiet down already? Everyone's gonna hear you! Anyway, I'll consider that payment in full. And in exchange, I'll try to stay out of danger as best I can. All right?

Robin
Try? Is that the best you can do?!

Gaius
Look, you have my word I'll stop risking my neck for pocket change. But I can't promise to stay completely out of danger at all times. What if someone attacked you? You're saying I couldn't jump in and save you?

Robin
No, but I—

Gaius
It's all right. I know with your tactics, that'd never have to happen anyway. I believe in you, Bubbles. More than I've believed in anyone.

Robin
Oh, Gaius... Thank you. I'll do my best to keep us both out of harm's way.

Gaius
I know you will. But listen, if you ever run short on funds and need my help again, just say the word. I'll make sure to keep the finder's fee reasonable...

Robin
...Excuse me?

Gaius
Heh heh. Just kidding!


Gaius > Lon'qu

Lon'qu
Hah! Yah! Haaaaargh! *Pant, pant*

Gaius
You're training in this heat? What are you, nuts?

Lon'qu
You should join me. The climate here is much harsher than that of Ferox or Ylisse. The intense heat allows you to work yourself even harder than usual.

Gaius
You don't say. Thanks, but I think I'll pass. Pointless exercise isn't really my thing. I admit I'm enjoying the sun, though. Makes ice pops taste even better'n usual!

Lon'qu
Ice pops? Hmph. More sweets... No good will ever come of your preoccupation with sugar.

Gaius
As sunny as ever, I see. But you'd better sweeten your tone... Otherwise you won't be getting any of this crate of pops I bought!

Lon'qu
I don't want any.

Gaius
Ha! Sure you don't! I mean, who wants a cool, sweet ice trickling down his throat in this heat, right?

Lon'qu
I don't care for sweet things. Nor do I care to be fat and out of shape.

Gaius
Boy, you're a regular laugh riot, huh?

Lon'qu
Preferences aside, though, I'll admit that sweets do have their uses.

Gaius
Oh yeah? Go on. I'm listening...

Lon'qu
I'll show you once the battle's done. I don't have time to waste on you now. –leaves-

Gaius
Yeesh, what is that guy's problem? Though I'm curious what he meant... What possible use could there be for sweets besides eating them?


Lon'qu > Gaius

Gaius
*Yaawn* ...Huh? Did I nod off? Shouldn't have eaten a whole cake so early in the day. That always makes me drowsy. Nothing wrong with a nice nap, but the battlefield isn't exactly the place...

Lon'qu
Pathetic.

Gaius
Blargh! Gods, Lon'qu! How long have you been standing there?!

Lon'qu
Long enough.

Gaius
Then why in the seven hells didn't you wake me?! This place is crawling with brigands!

Lon'qu
Relax. I've been here the whole time. You're safe.

Gaius
Well, if Mr. Super Swordsman says I'm safe, then I guess everything's just peachy! I'm sure I looked adorable just lying there, but somehow I doubt that's what did it. So let me ask you again—why didn't you wake me?

Lon'qu
I told you that sweets had their uses, didn't I?

Gaius
You did. And I've been waiting to find out what you meant.

Lon'qu
One of those uses is attracting these little fellows...

Gaius
What little fello—? GYAAAH! BUGS! BUUUGS! GET 'EM OFF ME!

Lon'qu
Beetles like these thrive in hot climates. Look how many there are!

Gaius
I said, get 'em off of me!

Lon'qu
Are you afraid? Did you not play with bugs when you were young?

Gaius
P-play with them?! Are you crazy?! I hate bugs! Where in the gods' names did they all come from, anyhow?

Lon'qu
You brought them here.

Gaius
M-me?!

Lon'qu
The scent of all that sugary trash hidden in your clothes attracted them. Beetles eat tree sap, and the tree sap smells a lot like melting candy.

Gaius
You...you're screwing with me, right?

Lon'qu
Look. Look at this one with the little horns. It's like a miniature knight in armor... And this one with the pincers...a tiny swordsman wielding twin blades...

Gaius
Look, if you're trying to freak me out, it's working, okay? Now get lost already!

Lon'qu
As you wish. A shame you can't even appreciate the splendor of these beautiful creatures. I'll leave you to placate yourself with sweets like a spoiled child.

Gaius
Says the little boy playing with his bug collection? Please!

Lon'qu
...... By the way—there'll be lots more of these little guys on the prowl come nightfall. It's sure to be quite a show. Look forward to it, bug lover.

Gaius
H-hey! Don't just leave me here! Come on! That's not funny!


Cordelia > Avatar

Cordelia
My, isn't this a beautiful shell! Look how the waves have polished away its edges... This beach is filled to overflowing with lovely treasures. It truly is paradise!

Robin
Cordelia?

Cordelia
Oh! Robin! Is...is everything okay?!

Robin
That's what I came to ask you! I saw you crouching in the sand here and was worried you'd been wounded!

Cordelia
Oh, no. I'm fine. But thank you for your concern. I was just...checking my bindings. We do have to watch out footing in this sand!

Robin
That's very prudent of you, Cordelia. Anyway, I'm glad you're not hurt. I'd better be getting back to— Huh? Why are there so many seashells piled up behind you?

Cordelia
Hm? Oh, these? Umm, maybe the brigands were gathering them for some reason... I'll just put them safely over here. We, um...wouldn't want anyone to trip over them.

Robin
Okay, thanks. I'll leave that to you.

Cordelia
Yes, sir! Thank you, sir! ...... Phew, that was close... Wait—what was close? What am I hiding? I could have just admitted I was collecting seashells... Ooh, isn't that one a beauty! And that one... And that one too!


Avatar > Cordelia

Cordelia
Aaand...it's perfect! Just the right amount of exotic flair!

Robin
What are you doing with all those lances, Cordelia?

Cordelia
Oh! Robin! These are, uh, um... I wasn't goofing off, if that's what you're implying!

Robin
Huh?

Cordelia
In fact, I was... Oh! Yes! I was testing new ways to increase a throwing lance's range! Specifically, attaching seashells for their...aerodynamic properties. Let's give it a try! Hii-YAH! See!

Robin
Wow! You hit that tree dead center! And from this far away too. It totally worked!

Cordelia
Um, yes! Just as I theorized! So...it's lucky I made so many shell-enhanced lances!

Robin
I'm really impressed, Cordelia. Hey, do you think this one will fly as far?

Cordelia
Th-that one? Uh...

Robin
The shells make it really pretty too! Here, let me have a throw...

Cordelia
Robin, no! Stop! Don't throw that one, please! It's...it's my favorite.

Robin
Your favorite?

Cordelia
I'm sorry. All of that was a lie. I wasn't developing new aerodynamic lances... I just really like seashells. So I was using them to decorate my weapons.

Robin
You were? But that lance you threw flew really far!

Cordelia
That was just...adrenaline.

Robin
Adrenaline?!

Cordelia
Yes. The shells don't help at all. It was just brute strength. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't waste time like this in the middle of a battle. I've let you down. I've let us all down. I'll accept any punishment the war council sees fit to give me.

Robin
Calm down, Cordelia. No one's being punished here. I'm not upset. In fact, I'm kind of glad.

Cordelia
G-glad?

Robin
Yeah. You always seem so serious, you know? Sometimes I worry that you don't know how to relax and let off steam. So I'm happy I was able to see a whole other side of you today.

Cordelia
...Thank you, Robin.

Robin
And look at you, playing like a kid on the beach! Who knew you could be so cute?

Cordelia
C-cute?! There is nothing "cute" about me!

Robin
Wait, are you blushing? Ha! You're getting cuter by the second!

Cordelia
Damn it, Robin! Stop teasing m—

Robin
OOF!

Cordelia
Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I completely forgot I was holding a lance!

Robin
I'm...okay... Just...took me by surprise is all...

Cordelia
Are you sure you're okay, Robin?! You seem more winded than you should be from such a glancing blow... Wait—maybe my seashells really did make a difference! Maybe they're not just pretty after all!

Robin
Maybe you could...help me up now and...discuss your seashell theory...later...

Cordelia
Oh, right! Sorry!


Cordelia > Avatar (spouse)

Cordelia
My, isn't this a beautiful shell! Look how the waves have polished away its edges... This beach is filled to overflowing with lovely treasures. It truly is paradise!

Robin
Cordelia?

Cordelia
Oh! Robin! Is...is everything okay?!

Robin
That's what I came to ask you! I saw you crouching in the sand here and was worried you'd been wounded!

Cordelia
Oh, no. I'm fine. But thank you for your concern. I was just...checking my bindings. We do have to watch our footing in this sand!

Robin
That's very prudent of you, Cordelia. But if you ever do get hurt, don't be afraid to let me know, okay? You can be so stubborn, you know? I worry sometimes... Anyway, you carry on. I'd better be getting back to— Huh? Why are there so many seashells piled up behind you?

Cordelia
Hm? Oh, these? Umm, maybe the brigands were gathering them for some reason... I'll just put them safely over here. We, um...wouldn't want anyone to trip over them.

Robin
Okay, thanks. I'll leave that to you.

Cordelia
Yes, sir! Thank you, sir! ...... Phew, that was close... Wait—what was close? What am I hiding? Robin is my husband. I shouldn't have to hide things from him. I could have just admitted I was collecting seashells... Ooh, isn't that one a beauty! And that one... And that one too!


Avatar > Cordelia

Cordelia
Aaand...it's perfect! Just the right amount of exotic flair!

Robin
What are you doing with all those lances, Cordelia?

Cordelia
Oh! Robin! These are, uh, um... I wasn't goofing off, if that's what you're implying!

Robin
Huh?

Cordelia
In fact, I was... Oh! Yes! I was testing new ways to increase a throwing lance's range! Specifically, attaching seashells for their...aerodynamic properties. Let's give it a try! Hii-YAH! See!

Robin
Wow! You hit that tree dead center! And from this far away too. It totally worked!

Cordelia
Um, yes! Just as I theorized! So...it's lucky I made so many shell-enhanced lances!

Robin
I'm really impressed, Cordelia. Hey, do you think this one will fly as far?

Cordelia
Th-that one? Uh...

Robin
The shells make it really pretty too! Here, let me have a throw...

Cordelia
Robin, no! Stop! Don't throw that one, please! It's...it's my favorite.

Robin
Your favorite?

Cordelia
I'm sorry. All of that was a lie. I wasn't developing new aerodynamic lances... I just really like seashells. So I was using them to decorate my weapons.

Robin
You were? But that lance you threw flew really far!

Cordelia
That was just...adrenaline.

Robin
Adrenaline?!

Cordelia
Yes. The shells don't help at all. It was just brute strength. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't waste time like this in the middle of a battle. For me to be playing like a child while my husband frantically drafts battle plans is... You must be so disappointed in me... If you want to annul our marriage, I...I'll understand.

Robin
Calm down, Cordelia. You're blowing this way out of proportion. I'm not disappointed in you at all. In fact, this only makes me love you more.

Cordelia
It...does?

Robin
Yeah. You always seem so serious, you know? Sometimes I worry that you don't know how to relax and let off steam. So I'm happy I was able to see a whole other side of you today.

Cordelia
...Thank you, Robin.

Robin
And look at you, playing like a kid on the beach! Who knew you could be so cute?

Cordelia
C-cute?! There is nothing "cute" about me!

Robin
Wait, are you blushing? Ha! You're getting cuter by the second!

Cordelia
Damn it, Robin! Stop teasing me! You know how I hate that!

Robin
Oh ho! Coming at me with your lance? Sloppy form—I saw that from a mile away! Look how easily I can just sidestep it, and—

Cordelia
Right into my trap!

Robin
Huh?! Umm-ah!

Cordelia
...... Heh. Some master tactician you are! You left your lips wide open!

Robin
C-Cordelia... I can't believe you'd just...

Cordelia
...I'd just kiss you in front of the whole army like that? Then you underestimate me. Now who's getting sloppy?

Robin
Damn it!

Cordelia
What's this? You've gone beet red! Is that all it takes to make you blush? My, my—you're getting cuter by the second!

Robin
It's bad enough that I underestimated you—now I've lost the initiative as well. This is not going according to plan...

Cordelia
Is that a problem? Haven't you ever heard strong wives make for happy marriages? But if you're that upset, I guess you'll just have to plan a counterattack. I'd suggest a surprise romantic offensive of overwhelming proportions, personally...

Robin
I'm way ahead of you! But I'll make sure the specific plan of attack is one you'll never see coming!

Cordelia
I'll be looking forward to it! But know that I'll always be watching you...and only you. I love you, Robin. I always will.


Cordelia > Chrom

Cordelia
Golden sand... Swaying palms... Could anything be more romantic? If only we could be here alone, just the two of us... Oh, but listen to me. I promised myself I'd stop dreaming about him...

Chrom
Dreaming about who?

Cordelia
*HACK!* C-Chrom?! Did I say dreaming? I don't think I did! No, d-definitely not!

Chrom
Huh. Guess I must have misheard. What's wrong, by the way? You seem unusually...tense.

Cordelia
T-tense? M-me? N-no, not at all! See? No tension here! *gasp*

Chrom
Er, if you say so... Anyway, it's pretty hot here, huh? Are you holding up okay?

Cordelia
H-h-hot? Oh, er, yes, it is, isn't it...? *Pant* *wheeze* *choke*

Chrom
Cordelia, are you all right? You sound like you can hardly breathe! Is it the heat?

Cordelia
I...I AM feeling flushed and hot...but it's nothing to do with the weather... This...this heat is in my soul! I'm overcome with emotion and drowning with joy! To be blessed with a rare opportunity to speak with Chrom himself... Why, it's almost more excitement then my poor heart can stand!

Chrom
Er...

Cordelia
ARGH! Did I just say that out loud? Oh, GODS, this is mortifying!

Chrom
...Rare opportunity? I do try to talk to the troops whenever I can, you know...

Cordelia
Oh! Oh, no! No, that's not what I— I wasn't criticizing you! You're a WONDERFUL leader, and you ALWAYS take time to talk to your people! When I say "rare", what I mean is...I just wish we could speak more often, and then... Argh! I'm doing it again! Cordelia—these silly fantasies have got to stop!

Chrom
I'm becoing increasingly confused by this conversation...

Cordelia
I'm SO sorry, Chrom. I really don't know what's come over me... Perhaps this heat IS getting to me... I'm feeling a little light headed...

Chrom
What? Why didn't you say so earlier?! Can you walk? Here, take my arm, and I'll escort you to that shade over there.

Cordelia
Y-your ARM? You want me—Cordelia—to...to touch your ARM?! I...I can't take this anymore... I feel so...happy...I could die...

Chrom
Cordelia, no! Don't close your eyes! If you see a light, don't go near it! Stay with me!

Cordelia
Ohh...I will, Chrom... I WILL... I wouldn't miss this moment for the world... Now, I'll just put my hands here...on your muscular forearm... ...... ......

Chrom
What's wrong? Are your hands too weak to grip?

Cordelia
I...I can't do it! I can't bring myself to touch you! Just the thought of it makes me...makes me... ARRRGH!

Chrom
Cordelia! What's wrong? Can you hear me? Cordelia! DON'T GO!


Chrom > Cordelia

Cordelia
I cannot BELIEVE I fainted like some ridiculous romance novel heroine... And in front of Chrom, no less! Gods, what would Phila say? Actually, I know exactly what she'd say. She'd tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself and make amends on the battlefield.

Chrom
Cordelia! What are you doing, rushing around under this blazing hot sun?

Cordelia
C-Chrom! What a coincidence... We keep running into each other today...

Chrom
Running into each other? I'm staying close because I'm worried about you. What if you passed out again? We haven't cleared out all the enemies yet.

Cordelia
That's very kind of you, Chrom... I cannot tell you how happy it makes me. But if you think I'm going to lounge under a palm tree while everyone else fights...

Chrom
Point taken. I know you're not the type to shirk a battle. But listen—you have to promise me that you'll take better care of yourself.

Cordelia
Er...

Chrom
You're your own worst critic, and that's part of what makes you so strong... But sometimes you take it too far. If you're feeling ill, it's imperative that you rest. Would you at least consider it? For my sake?

Cordelia
T-truly, Chrom... I'm grateful for the concern, but—

Chrom
But nothing. Go on, find a shady spot and let us finish this battle. If you collapse a second time, I'm not going to carry you to safety again.

Cordelia
Y-yes, sir... If you insis— ...Wait a second. Did you just say that you CARRIED me? As in...lifted me off the sand? Swept me up in your manly arms?

Chrom
Er... I'm not sure I'd put it like that, exactly. But yes.

Cordelia
ARRRRRRRRRGH! Oh, gods, I am SOOO sorry! I can't BELIEVE I made you do that! It must have been such a chore! Was I heavy? Did I hurt your back?!

Chrom
Well, you WERE wearing armor...

Cordelia
UGH! I knew it! This has to be the single most embarassing thing I've ever done! Gods, Chrom, how am I ever going to make this up to you? That's it! I'm returning to battle! No more of this damsel-in-distress nonsense!

Chrom
Are you sure you can handle it?

Cordelia
Absolutely. If I run and hide in the shade now, I'll die of shame... Instead, I'm going to take down twice as many foes to make up for what I missed! So, if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to restoring the seaside peace here.

Chrom
Well, if your mind's made up...

Cordelia
You bet it is! Now if you'll excuse me...

Chrom
...Huh. Every time I try to talk to her, the conversation ends up turning weird. She takes her role as a pegasus knight so seriously... Maybe I make her nervous? She seemed particularly off kilter today, though. Maybe it IS the weather? In any case, I think I'd better leave her alone—give her some breathing room...

Cordelia
*Sigh* It was so nice to talk to Chrom... And it actually went well, for a change. But I know his affections lie elsewhere... He and I... It'll never work. I know that someday I'm going to have to give up on these foolish dreams of mine... Someday... But perhaps not today. ...All right, Cordelia. That's enough pining. It's time to slay some brigands!


Cordelia > Maribelle

Maribelle
You and Sumia sure do seem to spend a lot of time together, Cordelia.

Cordelia
Now that you mention it, I suppose we do. Is that a problem?

Maribelle
Ha! Can you not bear to leave her alone for fear she might trip and brain herself?

Cordelia
O-of course not! There may have been one or two...incidents, but she's a capable girl! And if you want to talk about inseparable couples, what of you and Lissa?

Maribelle
Why, Lissa and I are the dearest of friends! There's nothing peculiar about wishing to spend one's time in such pleasant company! She's a soothing and pleasant presence—unlike that addlepated butterfingers!

Cordelia
H-how dare you?! Sumia is kinder and funnier than anyone else in this army!

Maribelle
Ha! Unintentionally, perhaps? Lissa's wit is both deliberate AND exceptional! It saddens me that you have yet to fully experience her joyful gaiety of spirit!

Cordelia
W-well...Sumia's smile is brighter than the very sun itself! One glimpse of it is enough to make amends for any blunder!

Maribelle
And Lissa's smile has precisely the same effect... The only difference being that she doesn't MAKE any blunders!

Cordelia
Oh, really? Not even the blunder of choosing YOU as a friend?

Maribelle
My, but you are a stubborn one!

Cordelia
ME, stubborn?! You are the most obstinate, contrary...so-and-so I have ever met!

Maribelle
Hmph! This is far from over! You will pay for you pigheadedness!

Cordelia
Ha! We'll see about that!


Maribelle > Cordelia

Maribelle
So are you finally ready to accept Lissa's superiority to Sumia in every respect?

Cordelia
Never! I'll stop at nothing to make you appreciate the beauty of Sumia's soul!

Maribelle
Gah! What will take to convince you once and for all...

Cordelia
...that my beloved friend is the most wonderful person alive?

Maribelle
...Fine. Fine!

Cordelia
Huh?! You're conceding defeat?

Maribelle
If that is what you insist on calling it, yes! My time would be far better spent enjoying Lissa's company. Besides, what if something were to happen to her while we were here bickering? I would never forgive myself. Her well-being is all that matters to me in the world.

Cordelia
...I know just how you feel.

Maribelle
You do?

Cordelia
We may have our differences, but we both care deeply for our friends. Sumia's happiness is the only thing that matters to me.

Maribelle
Cordelia...

Cordelia
Listen, I have a plan. When this battle is over, the four of us will go for tea together. We can settle the matter of whose friend is the most wonderful once and for all.

Maribelle
Very well. I accept your offer. And I accept that...I may have underestimated you...

Cordelia
...And I you.

Maribelle
Hm. Suddenly I am rather looking forward to our little tea date.

Cordelia
Hee hee. It'll certainly be an event to remember!


Nowi > Sully

Nowi
Check it out, Sully! It's the OCEAN!

Sully
Sure is. Full of swaying palms and a crapload of gold sand. It's kinda like looking at a postcard from a holiday resort, eh?

Nowi
Holiday resort?

Sully
Yeah. Don't tell me you don't have resorts in the manakete world? Resorts are these vacation spots people go to when they wanna relax. They've usually got eateries and shops and lots of other little diversions.

Nowi
Wow, that sounds like SO much fun!

Sully
They're not bad. Hell of a lot better than a normal seashore, anyway. Some of the guys were saying that we should take a vacation here when the war's done.

Nowi
Oh man, that would be amazing! We could collect shells, build sand castles... Oh, and eat fruit! Lots of delicious, tropical fruit! Hee hee! I can't wait! Actually, scratch the vacation—we should just come live here instead!

Sully
Live here, eh? Lemme ask you something, Nowi...

Nowi
Ooh, lemme guess! You wanna know why the ocean gets angry sometimes, right?! Well, it turns out there's an old manakete king sleeping far beneath the sea. Whenever he snores, it causes big waves to come crashing into the sand! Isn't that crazy?

Sully
Uh, yeah...sure is. Who told you that story, anyway?

Nowi
Um...gosh. Who told me that one...? Ohh, I remember! It was a wise old manakete I once knew. He was a friend from a long, long time ago.

Sully
"He"? I didn't know there were any male manaketes. Figured you were all girls— Wait, why are we talking about this? That's not what I wanted to ask! When you were listing all that stuff to do on vacation, you forgot the best thing of all... Swimming! If you're hanging around the beach, you gotta go for a swim, right?

Nowi
Tra-la-laaaa! The beach is so much fun! All the sand and palms and sun!

Sully
...And suddenly she bursts into song. I think I get it now. You can't swim, can you?

Nowi
WHAT?! That's CRAZY talk! ME? Not able to SWIM?! I can't believe you'd even say something like that! That's just so...MEAN! *sniff*

Sully
Yeeeep. It's as I expected—she can't swim. Poor kid...


Sully > Nowi

Sully
Nowi! Hold up.

Nowi
Oh. Hello, Sully.

Sully
Listen, I want to apologize about earlier. I didn't mean to upset you.

Nowi
......

Sully
Fact is, there are lots of ways to enjoy the beach. You don't HAVE to go swimming. Hell, lots of people don't go in the water, but it doesn't stop 'em having fun, right?

Nowi
I guess so... Thanks, Sully... But actually, I thought about it a bit, and I think I agree with what you said. What's the point in coming out to the seaside if you don't go in the actual sea? That seems like a total waste, right? So...I came up with a brilliant idea! I'm going to learn how to swim...and YOU'RE gonna teach me!

Sully
What? The hell I am! ...Er, that is, I, uh, I meant everything I said just now. If you don't wanna swim, you don't have to. It's not like it's the law or anything! If the gods wanted us in the water, they would've given us flippers and gills, right? But nope, not us. Just two legs. Er, and in your case, a tail, I suppose...

Nowi
Waaait a minute. Don't tell me—!

Sully
Don't tell you what? Wh-why are you looking at me like that?!

Nowi
......

Sully
S-stop staring at me, dammit! I mean it! ...Aw, crap, FINE! All right, I confess: I can't swim either!

Nowi
Ha ha! I KNEW it! ...But why did you pretend that you could?

Sully
Well...I've been searching around for someone who could help me learn. I figured if I could get you into the water, I could paddle alongside, pick up some tips.

Nowi
Hey, that gives me a great idea! Why don't we learn together?! Don't worry—it'll be totally safe! If it seems like we're about to drown, I'll turn into a dragon and rescue us both!

Sully
Har! Talk about overkill. Can't deny I'd welcome the peace of mind, though... All right, you're on. Let's clear out the rest of these brigands and then go for a swim!

Nowi
Yippee! We're gonna make a great swim team, you and me!


Nowi > Panne

Nowi
Wooow! Just look at that big blue sea! It goes on forever!

Panne
Have you never seen the ocean before?

Nowi
Pfft! What are you talking about, silly? Of course I have! My parents used to take me to the beach all the time when I was little! I just...don't remember it that well. I was really young. Like, tiny!

Panne
Hmm.

Nowi
Or maybe...I mean, I think I remember them taking me to the beach...? But all that kid stuff was so long ago now, it gets kinda mixed up with my dreams...

Panne
Do you dream of your parents often?

Nowi
Oh yeah! Those guys are ALWAYS popping by to see me in dreamland! I just wish I could see them in real life too...

Panne
I pray that one day you do.

Nowi
Actually, you know what? Forget I said all that!

Panne
Hm?

Nowi
C'mon, I can't get sad about not seeing them all the time, can I? That would make them feel awful! I need to show them that I'm super happy and totally okay on my own!

Panne
Your parents would be very proud of you, Nowi. I'm sure they are watching over you from beyond the sea.

Nowi
Huh? You really think they're on the other side of this big ol' puddle? In that case, I've gotta tell 'em! I'll speak real loud so they can hear me. *Ahem* HEEEY, MOM AND DAD! IT'S ME, NOWI! I'M TOTALLY FINE, OK? YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME! EVERYONE HERE'S SUPER NICE, AND I'M NOT LONELY AT ALL! OKAY, I BETTER GO BEFORE I LOSE MY VOICE! BYE FOR NOW!

Panne
Nowi...

Nowi
*Cough* Whew! That's better. Feels like a real weight off my shoulders! Huh? Panne, you're crying! Are you hurt? Why are you sad?

Panne
I am not sad, Nowi, I just... Thank you.

Nowi
Huh? For what? I didn't do anything!

Panne
Sometimes your innocence alone is enough to heal an aching heart...


Panne > Nowi

Panne
Nowi... Like you, I once had a family. A big one. But they were all killed.

Nowi
Yeah, I heard about that... Murdered by humans, right? ...Do you still hate humans because of it?

Panne
I do.

Nowi
I see...

Panne
But only some of them. I have learned that not all man-spawn are bad.

Nowi
Thanks to the Shepherds, right?

Panne
Heh... Yes, I suppose so. The Shepherds have taught me that I cannot hate based on species alone. Now I focus more on individuals. Human, taguel...it matters not.

Nowi
Erm... I'm not really sure if that's all that much better...

Panne
At least you still have other manaketes in the world. I envy you that.

Nowi
Huh? That doesn't make any sense.

Panne
Why not?

Nowi
You basically just said it doesn't matter if someone's a human or a taguel. So why should it matter if they're a manakete, either?

Panne
I'm not sure I follow.

Nowi
Well, I'm not lonely or sad, because I have you and all the other Shepherds. And just like you, I don't care if they're humans or taguels...OR manaketes. So what is there to be jealous about? I don't need other manaketes to be happy—I've got all of you!

Panne
Nowi...

Nowi
What's the matter, Panne? Did I say something stupid again?

Panne
No... Quite the opposite...

Nowi
Hey, don't cry! Oh! You know what helps? Whenever I was sad, my mom used to let me sleep with her. You wanna try that? Why don't you sleep over?

Panne
"Sleep over"?

Nowi
Yeah, it'll be super-duper cozy! I'll get into my dragon form, you get into your rabbit form, and we'll snuggle up!

Panne
I suppose it does sound rather comforting...

Nowi
You bet it does! You'll be as snug as a bunny-shaped bug in a big ol' dragony rug!


Gregor > Stahl

Gregor
Stahl! What is reason for standing still with such blank expression?

Stahl
Hm? Oh, hello, Gregor. Did I look blank? I was just staring out over the horizon. I like to do that sometimes. It's kind of a habit of mine...

Gregor
You have habit of staring into space? Since when is Stahl becoming old man? Why look at boring line where ocean meets sky? Look instead at beautiful lines where sunshine meets girls!

Stahl
Uh, which girls are these exactly? The only girls I see are head-to-toe in armor, brandishing bloodied weapons...

Gregor
...Ah, yes. Now you are mentioning it, Gregor can see this. Is bad timing.

Stahl
And besides, for all your talk, you haven't exactly been embracing the beach life. I'd imagine you'd be doing more to take advantage of this beautiful resort!

Gregor
What? No! Gregor is too old for frolicking in surf! Gregor is content to be sitting and watching youthful antics from afar. Give delicious ice cream and cold mug of mead, and Gregor is happy man!

Stahl
Well, there you go. I'm the same way. I'd rather sit back and relax than splash around in the waves like a child. *Sigh* Listen to me...I DO sound like an old man.

Gregor
To Gregor's ears, yes. But if Stahl is fan of such things, then why not? Everyone is having own way to enjoy pleasures of holiday, yes? Some chase girls and splash in ocean, and others stare into space like zombie.

Stahl
Hmm...I guess you're right. Say, you wanna grab an ice cream when this battle's over?

Gregor
Hah! Now you are speaking language of Gregor! We'll show youngsters there is more than one way to have wild and crazy time!


Stahl > Gregor

Gregor
Unngh... Woe is Gregor... Feeling sick like dog from too much ice cream...

Stahl
You do look a bit off color there. Here, I have some medicine that might help...

Gregor
But why are you not also groaning in uncompromising, horrible pain? You are eating from same bucket of ice cream as Gregor! For skinny man, you have strong stomach. Maybe stomach of iron... Unfortunately, Gregor has no such iron stomach, urrrgh...

Stahl
Well, my mother always did say I could pack it away...

Gregor
Bah, if Gregor was same age as you, he could be eating twice as much ice cream! But now he is aged, and having indigestion, and feeling like taking a nap...

Stahl
Taking a nap?! In the middle of a fight?

Gregor
Gregor is old man! Is needing snoozes to be keeping up with young folks! *Yawn* See? Cannot be keeping eyes open. Ahh, Gregor is so very, very, aged...

Stahl
Don't be so hard on yourself—you're not THAT old. You're just...mature!

Gregor
Bah! Try to console Gregor as much as you like, but Gregor knows truth! He is old! Old as dirt! Soon as he finish eating, fat is instantly upon his belly!

Stahl
But that's... Um, maybe it's just your metabolism, or...uh...

Gregor
You are nice boy, but is no use. Gregor is knowing he is old and crusted. But your kindness is pleasing. We shall eat ice cream again.

Stahl
Sure, that sounds great! How abut tomorrow?

Gregor
Tomorrow?! Oy! Gregor is still reeling from today's bucket! *Sigh* If only Gregor was still spritely spring chicken of years past...


Libra > Frederick

Frederick
Libra! Thank the gods. I was hoping I might run into you.

Libra
Hello, Frederick. Is there something I can assist you with?

Frederick
I have sinned...deeply and frequently. Unforgivably, in fact! Oh, gods...

Libra
Now, now. Try to remain calm. Were you hoping to confess these sins?

Frederick
Yes, absolutely. I...I must.

Libra
Then I would hear your confession. Naturally, anything you say will be kept in the strictest confidence, so try to relax. All right. Whenever you're ready...

Frederick
Thank you. The truth is...lately, I have struggled to keep my devotion to my masters in check. And I'm terrified that Chrom and Lissa have come to despise me for it!

Libra
I...I see... But isn't such loyalty considered to be a virtue?

Frederick
Well, in general, yes...

Libra
Then perhaps it would help if you confessed some specific sins.

Frederick
Very well. Let me see... For one, I decorated the walls of my tent with paintings of my beloved masters. I find it so inspiring to wake to their images each morning! But when the two of then discovered this, they did not seem pleased.

Libra
......

Frederick
Next...I found a tear in Chrom's smallclothes and set about mending it. When he saw this, he angrily ordered me not to trouble myself with such trifles...

Libra
Wait, none of these are si—

Frederick
And then, on a cold morning, I thought to warm Lissa's shoes at my breast. But when she found me, she told me to take my own shoes and shove them up my—

Libra
YES! Yes, I understand, Frederick. To be fair, that does sound a tad excessive, but still, I really wouldn't call it a—

Frederick
Oh, but I've only just begun! That was a mere taste of my countless transgressions! I can think of at least another 120 with very little effort indeed...

Libra
Which means the full total must be truly staggering...

Frederick
Precisely! Which is why I had hoped that you might ask Naga to forgive me...

Libra
I'm not quite sure it's Naga's forgiveness you need. Have you ever considered spending a little time apart from your masters?

Frederick
What?! But... But I...!

Libra
Sometimes a bit of distance is needed in order to gain the proper perspective.

Frederick
I...I suppose you're right. I shall endeavor to give this a try...


Frederick > Libra

Frederick
*Sigh*

Libra
Frederick?

Frederick
Ohhhh... *Sigh*

Libra
Frederick? Are you okay? Frederick!

Frederick
*Sigh* Chrom... Lissa...

Libra
I call his name, but he doesn't hear... I shake him, but he doesn't respond... How am I supposed to get through to him? ......There's nothing else for it, is there? Gods, forgive me for the sin I am about to commit...

Frederick
O-ow! What in the—?! Oh, it's you, Libra. Why would you strike me so fiercely? What were you thinking?!

Libra
I might as you the same thing. Is it wise to be moping listlessly around the battlefield like this?

Frederick
Perhaps not... But I have been trying to spend time apart from my masters as you advised. And the harder I try, the more preoccupied with them I become.

Libra
Hmm. Your condition is worse than I thought. We may have to look into a more gradual course of treatment...

Frederick
But it cannot wait! The longer it takes, the more their contempt for me will deepen!

Libra
You needn't worry about that. I discussed the matter with them earlier—in a roundabout way, of course.

Frederick
Y-you did?! And what did you learn?

Libra
I sensed no anger or contempt at all. I did perceive a desire for you to temper some of your more...excessive behavior. But for the most part, they seemed to accept and appreciate your devotion.

Frederick
Truly, my lords are too kind. But it seems I must learn to resist the urge to...debase myself.

Libra
Only once you learn to respect yourself will they be able to truly respect you.

Frederick
I understand. Henceforth, I shall strive to serve milord and lady without doing myself a disservice.

Libra
I think that would be best for everyone.

Frederick
Then it is decided! And the first to know all about it shall be my beloved masters! Chrom! Lissa! I'm coming!

Libra
*Sigh* It looks like working through this may take a bit longer than I anticipated...


Tharja > Avatar

Tharja
......

Robin
Hey, uh...Tharja?

Tharja
Oh? You're talking to me, Robin? What a delight! How can I help you?

Robin
Well...I was wondering why you've been following me around all day. I mean, even when you run off to fight a foe, you come straight back to me.

Tharja
Is it so strange for me to want to be by your side every moment of the day?

Robin
Uh, yeah, kinda...

Tharja
But it's so nice to spend time together by the sea. I don't want to miss a moment! Needless to say, if you weren't here, I'd be bored out of my skull. But when I'm with you, it feels as if we've been swept away to an island paradise...

Robin
Oh, uh...okay? Well, in any case, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.

Tharja
You're so kind, Robin. Can I ask you a favor?

Robin
Uh, sure. What is it?

Tharja
I want you to slather my body with oil.

Robin
S-slather? With...oil?

Tharja
Well, you wouldn't want my skin to dry out in this heat now, would you? And I can't reach my back and, you know...other places.

Robin
I see. Certainly the climate here is harsh on one's skin. But I have my hands full formulating our battle strategy... I'm sorry, but perhaps one of the army's other women could help?

Tharja
No. I want you to do it. Otherwise, what's the point?

Robin
Uh, I thought the point was to protect your skin...

Tharja
Tee-hee...

Robin
Wh-why are you blushing? Anyway, we're in the middle of a battle. Sorry, but your oil will have to wait.

Tharja
Robin, wait! Where are you going? Oh, why must he/she always be so difficult? Still, he/she can't evade me for long on this beach. There's literally nowhere to hide! Hee... Hee hee hee!


Avatar > Tharja

Tharja
Hee hee... There you are, Robin!

Robin
Th-Tharja?! Is this about the oil again?

Tharja
You really are clever! How did you know? Well then, please begin rubbing it in when you're ready. And don't be afraid to put plenty on—you'll hear no complaints from me.

Robin
I'm sure I won't... Listen, Tharja, did I not make myself clear? I can't be doing this right now!

Tharja
...... No. No, of course you can't. How selfish of me. You belong to everyone, of course. And they'd never let me have you to myself. Oh no.

Robin
Um, Tharja? What are you talking about?

Tharja
When the battle's over, you'll run off to join them... And I'm sure you'll all have a wonderful time together in this...ugh...beautiful place. Silly me for thinking I might get some time with you in battle, at least. Not even when I have a perfectly legitimate excuse...

Robin
Um...

Tharja
But alas, even here, I'm just a nuisance. I'll leave you to fight...unencumbered. Sorry for distracting you.

Robin
N-no! Tharja! Wait!

Tharja
Hmm?

Robin
It's not like that at all! I don't think of you as a nuisance! It's just that...well, doing that at a time like this would put us both in danger!

Tharja
......

Robin
I promise you I don't value you any less than anybody else. If you'd like to spend time with me outside of battle, you need only ask. We are friends, after all.

Tharja
...Really? You'd want to talk to me even after the battle's over?

Robin
Of course I would!

Tharja
...And rub body oil on me?

Robin
That's a promise.

Tharja
Thank you, Robin... You've no idea how glad I am to hear you say that. Ahh, just imagine... Robin's sweet caress... Here...and there...and over there... I've dreamed of this day for so very long!

Robin
Um...Tharja?

Tharja
Come. We must dispense with these brigands as quickly as possible! The longer they last, the less quality time we'll have together. Hee hee... Now, what curse would work best... Maybe one to send them hurtling into the sea to become bloody fish food?

Robin
*Gulp* I suppose I should count myself lucky she's so fond of me...


Tharja > Avatar (spouse)

Tharja
......

Robin
Hey, uh...Tharja?

Tharja
Oh? Hello, Robin! What a delight! How can I help you?

Robin
Well...I was wondering why you've been following me around all day. I mean, even when you run off to fight a foe, you come straight back to me.

Tharja
Is it so strange for me to want to be by your side every moment of the day?

Robin
Well, no, but...aren't we always together? What's so special about today?

Tharja
I suppose it's because I'm so glad to be in such a beautiful place with you. I've been in absolute bliss ever since we got here, Robin. Needless to say, if you weren't here, I'd be bored out of my skull. But with you, it's just paradise, pure and simple. I don't want to miss a moment!

Robin
Oh, uh...okay. Well, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. But be careful, okay? Next to me might not always be the safest place to be.

Tharja
You're so kind, Robin. That's what I love about you. Can I ask you a favor?

Robin
Uh, sure. What is it?

Tharja
I want you to slather my body with oil.

Robin
S-slather you? With...oil?

Tharja
Well, you wouldn't want my skin to dry out in this heat now, would you? And I can't reach my back and, you know...other places.

Robin
Well, I guess this climate must be pretty harsh on the skin. But wife or not, I can hardly stop to rub you down with oil in the middle of a battle. Sorry, but if it's urgent, maybe you could ask one of the girls to help you?

Tharja
No! It has to be you! I won't let anyone touch me but you!

Robin
I'm thrilled to hear that, but think what it would look like...

Tharja
Tee-hee...

Robin
H-hey! What are you picturing in that head of yours? Anyway, we're in the middle of a battle. Sorry, but your oil will have to wait.

Tharja
Robin, wait! Where are you going? Oh, why must he always be so difficult? Still, he can't evade me for long on this beach. There's literally nowhere to hide! Hee... Hee hee hee!


Avatar > Tharja

Tharja
Hee hee... There you are, Robin!

Robin
Th-Tharja?! Is this about the oil again?

Tharja
You really are clever! How did you know? Very well, please begin rubbing it in when you're ready. And don't be afraid to put plenty on—you'll hear no complaints from me.

Robin
B-but I told you, I can't! Listen, Tharja, did I not make myself clear? I can't be doing this right now!

Tharja
...... No. No, of course you can't. You're always SO busy. Even your wife can't be allowed to monopolize your time. I should have known better...

Robin
Um, Tharja? What are you talking about?

Tharja
When the battle's over, you'll run off to join everyone else... And I'm sure you'll all have a wonderful time together in this...ugh...beautiful place. I know we're always together, but it's not enough to just be in the same place. You're always surrounded by people while your wife waits in vain. Not that anyone but me seems to care that I am your wife...

Robin
Th-Tharja...

Tharja
I'm sorry for being so direct. But asking you to rub oil on me was just an excuse to spend time with you. You've made it perfectly clear that you don't have time, though. You must have strategies to plan. I'll leave you to your important business.

Robin
N-no! Tharja! Wait!

Tharja
Hmm?

Robin
I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way. I didn't realize that you'd been so lonely this whole time.

Tharja
......

Robin
We're married now. Your needs come before everything else. After this battle, I'll make some time for us. I don't want you to be lonely any longer.

Tharja
...Really? So after this battle, you'll spend the whole day alone with me?

Robin
I will. That's a promise! And if I break it, you have my permission to curse me to death!

Tharja
That makes me very happy, Robin. But I would never curse you. Well, not to death... Instead, you may seal your promise by kissing my hand.

Robin
Um, right here and now?

Tharja
I've been waiting a long time for you. This is the least you can do.

Robin
Well...if you insist. ......

Tharja
Mmmmph?!

Robin
Was that okay?

Tharja
Those were my lips. I told you to kiss my hand.

Robin
Sorry. I couldn't help myself. You're just too adorable...

Tharja
There's no need to overcompensate, you know...

Robin
I'm not overcompensating. I mean it. But I'm sorry for not doing what you asked. I was supposed to kiss your hand, right? Let me try again.

Tharja
...No, there's no need. You disobeyed me, but I'm feeling generous. I'll let it slide this once. Maybe when the battle's done...you can do it the wrong way again...

Robin
Your wish is my command. Now, let's dispense with these brigands so we can be alone at last!

Tharja
Agreed. If I have to wait much longer, things are going to get ugly... ...... All right, go. But be careful out there. I'll be with you every step of the way.

Robin
Thanks, Tharja. You be careful too.


Tharja > Cordelia

Cordelia
Phew, it certainly is hot out here...

Tharja
You can say that again.

Cordelia
Uh-oh. Don't look now, but I think you're getting a tan...

Tharja
What? How? I've barely been outside for five minutes!

Cordelia
I guess with your complexion, even a little sun makes a big difference. Besides, it's kind of inevitable when you're walking around half-naked like that.

Tharja
Half-naked?! How dare you! Did you not notice my cloak? It's not like I'm strutting around in my underwear like these...beach strumpets!

Cordelia
I don't really see how what they wear is any different to what's under your cloak... Or perhaps I'm missing something? Here, take that off. Let me have a look.

Tharja
Touch me, and I'll blight your prying fingers, girl!

Cordelia
All right, all right! It was just a joke.

Tharja
Hmph. I suppose I am showing a bit more skin than usual. But I confess I was blissfully unaware of it until you brought it up... Ugh. This is mortifying.

Cordelia
No, no! You said you were fine with it before—just forget I said anything!

Tharja
You and I both know that's not going to happen. Nope. It's official. I am completely and utterly mortified...


Cordelia > Tharja

Cordelia
Hi, Tharja. Feeling a little less self-conscious about your outfit yet?

Tharja
Very much so. I attached a de-shaming talisman to my back, and now I feel just fine about it.

Cordelia
Let me have a look... Wow. It's, uh...not very subtle.

Tharja
Hm? What do you mean?

Cordelia
Well, it's just a piece of paper with "mortification" written on it.

Tharja
That's how these things work. Whatever you write on them gets canceled out. I was mortified, so I wrote "mortification", and presto—no more embarrassment.

Cordelia
But it's right there for anyone to see! Isn't it even more mortifying walking around with the very word written on your back?

Tharja
*Sigh* That's the whole point. NOTHING is mortifying thanks to this thing.

Cordelia
Oh, right. Sorry. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this... So if I were to take it off, would it stop working?

Tharja
My, you're a sharp one.

Cordelia
Interesting. Let's try it and see, shall we? Here goes...

Tharja
W-wait, don't—! Oh, gods, this is horrifying. Just kill me now...

Cordelia
I see. So now we stick it back on, and...

Tharja
My, it sure is hot. Why don't I throw off my cloak and take a nice dip in the sea?

Cordelia
And off again...

Tharja
Ugh, my calf is showing! Why didn't I wear a bigger cloak?

Cordelia
This is fascinating! Okay, let's put it back on...

Tharja
All right, that's enough. If you value your fingers, you won't mess with it again.

Cordelia
Heh. Sorry, Tharja. I...I'm only teasing you because I'm jealous. I wish I had the guts to wear something like that. You dress so wonderfully!

Tharja
Is that all? If that's what's bothering you, maybe I can help. We are...allies, after all.

Cordelia
Wow, really? I would love that! If you could show me around some boutiques, I'd be—

Tharja
I meant I could erase your jealousy with a curse.

Cordelia
O-oh... Um, let me get back to you on that...


Tharja > Olivia

Olivia
Um...Tharja? Do you have a moment?

Tharja
What is it?

Olivia
I...I just wanted to say how wonderful you were in that last fight. You were so imperious, so...dominant... It really took my breath away!

Tharja
They're common brigands. I hardly worked up a sweat. ...Do you want something? Fawning makes my skin crawl.

Olivia
I-I'm not fawning! I mean every word! I have only the utmost respect for you...

Tharja
Hmph. I don't see what you find so fascinating about me.

Olivia
Oh, but there are LOTS of things! I don't even know where to begin. ...There's your figure, for one. It's practically perfect. You're voluptuous where it counts and svelte everywhere else... Staying in that kind of shape must take HOURS of exercise each day!

Tharja
Exercise? Are you kidding? I don't do a thing.

Olivia
Y-you don't exercise?! You can't be serious! You MUST diet then, right? No wine? No sweets?

Tharja
I drink my fill of wine, and I touch whatever sweets I please.

Olivia
Hmm... Okay, I've got it. ...You've cast a slimming spell on yourself to stay thin. Right?

Tharja
Even if a spell of such dubious merit existed, I wouldn't use it. And I haven't.

Olivia
Ugh! Well, in that case, I'm afraid this makes you the enemy, Tharja... The enemy of every hard-working young maiden in the world!

Tharja
*Shrug* No skin off my nose.

Olivia
Oh, you won't brush us off so easily! I hereby challenge you to a duel on behalf of all my sisters! I'll...I'll put a fattening hex on you and drag you down to our level!

Tharja
...Oh? You would trade hexes with ME? Careful what you wish for, little girl.

Olivia
Oh, um...ha ha! Did I say hex? I did, didn't I? Er...that was a jest! I...I don't know what came over me! Ha ha! Ha... Um, let's just put down the cauldrons and spell scrolls and move along, shall we?


Olivia > Tharja

Olivia
Tharja, I was thinking... M-maybe we could form a little dance troupe? Just you and me, I mean. You're so beautiful and talented... It seems like a waste not to show the whole world.

Tharja
A dance troupe? Are you kidding? Forget it.

Olivia
N-no! I came up with a name and everything! I was thinking "The Dark Dancers!" ...or something like that.

Tharja
How nice. But tell me—which part of "forget it" did you not understand?

Olivia
P-please, just hear me out. I even thought of a color scheme for us! B-black and pink! ...you would provide the black, of course.

Tharja
Why do YOU get to choose who wears what?

Olivia
Oh! S-sorry, I didn't mean to— You could wear pink if you prefer!

Tharja
May the gods strike me where I stand if they ever catch me wearing pink. Can you honestly imagine me in anything other than black?

Olivia
W-well, no. That's why I— *sigh* Look, I'm sorry... Just...think about it, okay? Please. I'm sure you'd enjoy it. You could take center stage and be as dark and mysterious as you like. And I could...you know, do something in the background. Something...lighter.

Tharja
Let me get this straight: In this hypothetical dance, you would play second fiddle to me? You being a dancer, and me being someone who doesn't, in point of fact, dance? Look, when I told you to forget it, I meant it. ...But that doesn't mean I wouldn't be willing to help you perform.

Olivia
Wait, what? You'd...you'd do that for me?! Oh, thank you so much!

Tharja
Of course, it will involve putting a hex on you...

Olivia
*Gulp* ...It will?

Tharja
The hex will paralyze you, rendering you incapable of moving so much as an eyelid. Then I'll manipulate your limbs in a macabre dance, like a living marionette. I think that would be VERY entertaining, don't you? Hee hee hee!

Olivia
B-but, Tharja, that sounds...

Tharja
Did I mention that over the course of time, I'll come to control your mind as well? You'll belong to me heart and soul—a helpless puppet at my beck and call. How does that sound, Olivia?

Olivia
That...that sounds nothing at all like what I suggested! That sounds like a horror show!

Tharja
Well, everyone loves a horror show, don't they?

Olivia
Um, NO! Not when they're a part of the horror!


Olivia > Lissa

Lissa
Hey, Olivia! Wanna go for a swim when we're done here?

Olivia
Oh, no... No, thank you. I just... I couldn't possibly.

Lissa
Huh? Are you blushing? Don't tell me you're shy about wearing a swimsuit?

Olivia
I...I kind of am.

Lissa
You won't wear a swimsuit, yet you're fine with dancing the way you do?!

Olivia
That's different... Dancing is my job. But to put on a swimsuit, even for fun... I could never do something so brave...

Lissa
Why not? It wouldn't reveal much more than your dancing clothes already do!

Olivia
You...you really think so?

Lissa
And besides, I think you'd look amazing in a swimsuit!

Olivia
Th-thank you. That's very kind of you... It seems everybody's trying to get me to wear one. It was the same at Anna's shop. When I told her I was a dancer, she said I might like some of their...bolder designs... And the stuff she showed me... *shudder*

Lissa
Hee hee! Not quite your thing, huh? How bold are we talking here?

Olivia
You can't even imagine...

Lissa
Oh, you'd be surprised. Try me!

Olivia
Seriously, these things seemed to be mostly made of...string.

Lissa
String? But you can't just wear pieces of string! How would that even work?

Olivia
Please. You don't want to know...

Lissa
Okaay... But they must have had just normal, everyday swimsuits too, right?

Olivia
I really don't remember... I was so taken aback by all the other stuff...

Lissa
Then let's go back and take a look! And this time, no freaking out! It's your job to be the center of attention! You gotta conquer that shyness!

Olivia
Y-you're right. And I suppose we are at the seaside, after all...

Lissa
There we go! That's the spirit!


Lissa > Olivia

Lissa
Wow, Olivia! That swimsuit is something else! Talk about smoking hot! I'm surprised the ocean didn't boil clean away!

Olivia
This is so embarrassing... I wish the ground would just swallow me up...

Lissa
Um... The idea was to build your confidence, not make you worse!

Olivia
Please! I'm begging you! Stop looking at me!

Lissa
Oh, man... Hey, but it wasn't all bad, right? I mean, those brigands were gawking so hard, we beat them easily!

Olivia
That is something, I suppose...

Lissa
It's just a shame that none of your cast-offs fit me, huh? You bought so many swimsuits, I was sure at least one would be my size. I don't get it. We're pretty much the same build and everything...

Olivia
W-well, it's just...you're still growing, you know? I mean, every girl is...different, right? I'm sure you'll mature in all the right ways!

Lissa
And what do you mean by that, exactly!? Come on, spit it out!

Olivia
Er...nothing! It's just that...um...

Lissa
Better hurry up, before I start maturing in all the WRONG ways!

Olivia
N-no, I was just trying to say that...you're more like...like Emmeryn! Y-you're developing more of her grace and charm with each passing day!

Lissa
...Oh. You really think so?

Olivia
YES! I sure do!

Lissa
Weird. Everyone's always told me that Emmeryn and I are nothing alike...

Olivia
Really? Oh, uh... Well, wh-what do they know, right?

Lissa
Bah. Who cares, anyway? So what if we're different? That just means I have to find my own path! And in the end, I might grow up to be even better than her!

Olivia
That...that's right! And I just know you will! (Yeesh... How did this end up with ME having to reassure HER?)


Cherche > Sully

Sully
Not bad...I'm impressed!

Cherche
By what?

Sully
The way you ran that last foe through. Smooth and efficient. You looked damn good when you were doing it too. Real ladylike. Not many women can pull that off—not with a battle going on, anyway.

Cherche
Well, thank you, Sully. But really, I only did what I always do...

Sully
Yeah, I know. Just never got around to mentioning it before. So what's your secret, anyway?

Cherche
I don't know if I have one. To be honest, I've never thought about it until now... Unlike you, it seems! You've clearly put a lot of thought into it, and it shows. I mean, a lot of people think you're very attractive, both on the battlefield and off...

Sully
Hah! Yeah, maybe. But it's usually women who say so—not so much men. You're different, though. You've got a special kind of feminine charm. It's a tough thing to learn, but you seem to have it down pat. I gotta say, I'm pretty envious...

Cherche
That's awfully nice of you, but...can we maybe talk about something else now?

Sully
Aw, crap! I'm making you uncomfortable, aren't I? Sorry about that...

Cherche
No, no, it's fine. It's just this particular topic reminds me of something...irritating.

Sully
Irritating, huh? Give me one guess. Something to do with Virion?

Cherche
Yes, exactly. How did you know?

Sully
Well, "irritating" and "Ruffles" go hand in hand in my mind.

Cherche
Heh, I see... Anyway, I'm a little tired now. Do you mind if we take this up later?

Sully
Sure thing, Cherche.


Sully > Cherche

Cherche
Hey, Sully? Do you have a moment? It's about our conversation earlier.

Sully
What, the one about you and Ruffles?

Cherche
That's the one. I think you know, but I once served in Virion's household retinue. I was supposed to be a knight, but in that manor, I often felt more like a servant. He liked me right away, and for better or worse, I soon became his favorite retainer. Somehow, I found myself spending more and more time with him in the house. Which is how I ended up doing household chores, for want of anything better to do...

Sully
The hell you did! Didn't he have any maids?

Cherche
Oh, yes. Lots of them! It was a grand manor... That was the problem, though. He had no shortage of staff to look after him. So when I was thrown into their midst, the maids naturally viewed me with suspicion. Why was a knight doing their chores? Did I have "ulterior motives"? I had to work hard to fit in, to be even more maid-like than the best of them. At the same time, I had to remember I was a knight and bear myself accordingly. It wasn't easy, especially in the beginning. But in the end, I got them to accept me.

Sully
Riiight... And you think that explains your ladylike poise in battle, huh? How you can look like a hard-ass but be all dainty and feminine at the same time?

Cherche
Well, I'm not sure I'd use the word "hard-ass", but...maybe. I know it's farfetched, but it's the only explanation that makes sense to me. I'm a knight first and foremost...but inside, I'm a lady too.

Sully
Sounds like one hell of a jugglin' act, but you pull it off with aplomb. Wish I could say the same!

Cherche
Oh, I bet you could do it if you put your mind to it. Why don't we give it a go?

Sully
...Come again?

Cherche
Aren't you tired of being mistaken for a man and cursing like a sailor? This seaside resort is the perfect place to get in touch with your feminine side... Here, why don't you slip into this swimsuit and show off your womanly charms?

Sully
You have GOT to be kidding me! I ain't puttin' on no damn swimsuit in the middle of a fight!

Cherche
But you haven't even seen it yet! At least take a look. I chose it especially for you!

Sully
...The hell? You call THAT a swimsuit?! It looks like it's made outta wyvern scales or something...

Cherche
That's exactly what it's made of! This is special combat swimwear, you see. Light enough to swim in, but with full battle protection. The best of both worlds! And on the back, it even has a little pair of wyvern wings to complete the look! *Sigh* Isn't it wonderful? This is just about the most perfect swimsuit I've ever seen!

Sully
If you say so... Just looks plain weird to me. Look, when it comes to womanly charms and all that crap, I admit you've got me beat. But gods strike me down if you don't have the strangest taste in swimwear...


Cherche > Panne

Panne
Cherche! This must stop!

Cherche
Panne, dear! Is something the matter?

Panne
Dear?! Do you think me your pet?! I am no "dear" of yours!

Cherche
Forgive me. I meant nothing by it. Now, what did you want to talk about?

Panne
Grrr... Do not toy with me! You know full well what this is about!

Cherche
I do...? I'm sorry, but I'm drawing a blank here.

Panne
Your lizard, man-spawn. Can it do nothing but gaze at me and drool? It does not take great genius to guess what the foul creature intends.

Cherche
Minerva is not foul! And she's certainly no lizard! Show some respect!

Panne
The finer points of reptile taxonomy do not concern me. Your lizard wishes to eat me.

Cherche
That's absurd! Minerva would never try to eat one of her allies! In fact, lately she only has eyes for fresh, wild rabbit.

Panne
...Do I need to spell this out for you?

Cherche
What? Oh, ridiculous! You may not care for taxonomy, but Minerva can certainly tell a taguel from a rabbit! Isn't that right, Minerva?

Panne
Somehow that fails to comfort me...


Panne > Cherche

Panne
Cherche! Did I not tell you to keep your lizard under control? She just grasped me in her mouth and threw me into the ocean!

Cherche
Goodness! Did she really? Perhaps she was trying to imitate a hawk—they sometimes try to drown their prey.

Panne
You think she was playing? Nonsense! The foul creature means to kill me! Who would have guessed that the taguel's greatest threat lay here in our own army?

Cherche
Panne, dear, don't be absurd! Your imagination is running away with you!

Panne
For the last time, I am not your "dear"!

Cherche
I apologize, Panne. But honestly, I'm sure Minerva was merely playing.

Panne
M-merely?!

Cherche
Look at her sweet, innocent face. Why, she wouldn't hurt a fly! How could you suspect anything so foul from such a gentle creature?

Panne
Wouldn't hurt a fly?! You yourself said that she loves nothing more than eating rabbits!

Cherche
Did I? Well, she might hurt a rabbit...but certainly not a fly!

Panne
Ugh. I tire of your silliness. Just tell your lizard that it is not to eat its allies. Got it?

Cherche
Fine, fine. You heard her, didn't you, Minerva? Panne is a valued ally. And you are not even think of eating her, understand?

Panne
Hmm. She seems suddenly...quieter.

Cherche
Well, its most likely that you offended her than she's decided not to eat you. It's like I said—she only ever wanted to play!

Panne
Well, why can she not play nicely?

Cherche
She wants to, but she doesn't realize her own size and strength. There aren't many other wyverns in the army for her to play with. So she has to make do with whomever she can find...

Panne
...Very well. If she promises not to eat me, perhaps we can play a little.

Cherche
Hee hee. Thank you, Panne! And Minerva says thank you too!


Cherche > Olivia

Cherche
Olivia? What are you up to?

Olivia
Oh, just collecting seashells.

Cherche
Really? What for?

Olivia
I was hoping to take one back as a memento of our visit here. As a dancer, I've been lucky enough to travel all around the world... And each new place I go, I always try to find a keepsake to take home with me. I thought a nice shell would be a perfect way to remember this pretty seashore.

Cherche
What a novel concept! For better or for worse, I spent most of my days in and around Virion's manor. I barely ventured beyond the grounds, let alone far enough to warrant a memento... So to be perfectly honest, I had no idea such a practice even existed.

Olivia
That's so sad...

Cherche
Ha! Well, not really. It was all I knew, so it seemed normal to me. That people can lead such widely differing lives is really quite eye opening.

Olivia
...Ooh, I just had a thought! Why don't you look for a memento of your own?

Cherche
Hmm, yes... I would hate to forget any of the wonderful places I've visited. But it doesn't seem right to copy you. I'll need something other than a seashell.

Olivia
Well...how about this? I found it earlier, sparkling in the sand. Isn't it pretty?

Cherche
It certainly is... Hm? Wait a second... I know what that is. It's one of Minerva's scales.

Olivia
Oh, gosh! I-I had no idea!

Cherche
Hee hee, I'm glad you like it, but it's not much of a memento—for me, at least.

Olivia
I guess not. You could pick one of these up just about every place you visit.

Cherche
Exactly. I need something that comes from here and here alone. But we're getting ahead of ourselves here. There's a battle to be won here!

Olivia
Ah, yes! But if you do find something, promise to show it to me, all right?


Olivia > Cherche

Cherche
Hi, Olivia.

Olivia
Hey, Cherche! So have you found your memento yet?

Cherche
Well, I've been scouring the ground and sifting through the sand... You know, beachcombing. Hunting for something as fitting as your seashells. It's really amazing the kinds of things you find out here!

Olivia
Well, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself! Did you find anything good?

Cherche
I certainly did! Take a look at this.

Olivia
Er, is that...? EEEEK! IT IS! Augh, YUCK!

Cherche
What's gotten into you? It's just an insect husk.

Olivia
JUST an insect husk?! Look at that thing!

Cherche
Yes, it's quite a sight, isn't it? This type of insect only lives in warm, tropical locales like this one. It starts life as a grub, then it transforms into an adult, leaving behind this larval husk. All that buzzing you hear in the palm trees are the adults singing to court mates. If you look closely, the ground at the foot of the palms is littered with their corpses.

Olivia
......

Cherche
The shine ever so briefly, live fleeting lives, then die—all in the blink of an eye. Then their dried husks flutter to the ground, marking the end of an ephemeral existence. It's ever so beautiful, isn't it? *sniff*

Olivia
Ever so beautiful?! More like ever so GROSS!

Cherche
Oh, come on. I thought you of all people would appreciate the poetry, Olivia.

Olivia
Don't look at me like that! There's no poetry in dead bugs falling out of trees!

Cherche
I think you're allowing preconceptions to blind you to the wonder of the creatures. Here, look at this little fellow. Completely adorable! Up close, it almost looks as if he's smiling—like he's found peace in death.

Olivia
S-smiling?! ARRGH, I can't do this! Get that thing away from me!

Cherche
*Sigh* That girl's far too high strung... If you ask me, these little guys make for perfect mementos of this place. Once the battle's done, I think I'll collect a whole sackful of them!


Henry > Kellam

Henry
Nya ha ha! So many foes to fight! This is the best battle EVER!

Kellam
......

Henry
Huh? Hey, Kellam. Where'd you pop up from?

Kellam
Actually, I've been standing here watching you the whole time...

Henry
You have? What for?

Kellam
Well...I couldn't help noticing you've got this gigantic smile on your face.

Henry
Do I? Hee hee! But look—you're grinning, too!

Kellam
Actually, I'm just squinting. ...I do that a lot.

Henry
Oh. Maybe you should try glasses.

Kellam
Um, I'll keep that in mind... Anyways, it seems like you're always smiling, no matter what?

Henry
Er, yeah, I guess I am, now that you mention it! Nya ha! I just love bein' in the thick of things, you know? All these epic battles...full of blood and gore and hexes and carnage and... Man, what a great time!

Kellam
Erm...right... So I was wondering... If I were more like you, always happy and enjoying my work... Do you think I'd be less...invisible? Might people, you know...notice me more?

Henry
Why? Is being invisible bad?

Kellam
Well, not in itself, I suppose. But sometimes it feels like no one cares about me. Like I don't even exist.

Henry
I think I get it now. Seems to me you're barking up the wrong tree, tin man. Visibility isn't your problem—you're just lonely! So all we gotta do is find a way to make you stop feeling lonely!

Kellam
Er...maybe, but that sounds much easier said than done...

Henry
Fear not! Let me stew on this for a spell and see if I can't come up with a solution. Don't worry, Kellam. We'll find a way to fix you up...one way or another!

Kellam
*Sigh* How reassuring...


Kellam > Henry

Henry
Kellam? Heeey, Kellaaam! Man, where is that guy, anyway?

Kellam
I'm right here now two feet in front of you...

Henry
Ah-ha! THERE you are. Okay, I want you to hold reeeal still...

Kellam
U-um...what are you doing?

Henry
Ungh... Here we...go...mmmph... Tight...squeeze... *gasp*

Kellam
Um...Henry? Why are you forcing your hand through that gap in my armor?

Henry
I'm trying to climb inside with you! I figure that suit's so big, there's gotta be plenty of room in there for both of us!

Kellam
What?! It's not THAT big! You'll never fit in here!

Henry
Well, I might...if you'd just...scrunch over to the side... Almost...got it...

Kellam
Henry, this is NOT going to work! Even if you did get inside here, what in the world would you do in here?

Henry
Keep you company, duh! Remember? I promised I'd cure your loneliness! This is me keeping my promise!

Kellam
W-wait, THIS is your cure for my bouts of loneliness? To pack us both in a single suit of mail and walk around like a pair of sardines?

Henry
Nya ha! Isn't it genius? I put a lot of time and effort into thinking this up! Have you ever seen a lonely man sharing his armor with someone else? I think not! Plus, you wouldn't be invisible anymore, 'cause I'd know exactly where you were! Not to mention how flummoxed foes will be when they discover the odds have doubled! It's a win-win situation. So help me help you, and shove over a little, huh?

Kellam
P-please! This is NOT going to work! Ow! Get your foot off my—

Henry
*Sigh* I suppose you're right... That armor just isn't as spacious as it looks from the outside. Oh well. Guess I'll just have to come up with another plan!

Kellam
Whew... That was uncomfortable in every sense of the word...

Henry
Hey, that reminds me—did I ever tell you I was raised by wolves?

Kellam
W-wolves?! No, you didn't...

Henry
It's true. When I was a kid, my only friends were wolves, so they ended up raising me. Thing is...that made it tough for me to learn about basic human warmth and affection... Like just now, I tried to be nice to you and show you that I care and stuff, right? But I got it all wrong and instead just made you freak out. Sorry about that...

Kellam
Golly, no, Henry! You don't have to apologize. I appreciate what you're trying to do...and you actually did warm me up a bit.

Henry
I did? Nya ha! Great! Glad I didn't TOTALLY botch that!

Kellam
(I think he knows more about warmth and affection than he realizes...)

Henry
Huh? You say something?

Kellam
...N-no, it's nothing. We should get back, though. We still have a battle to win!

Henry
Good point! Time for more carnage! Nya ha!


Henry > Gaius

Henry
......

Gaius
...What is it, Junior? You're staring at me like I've got a banana for a nose.

Henry
I wasn't looking at YOU, grumpy. I was looking at your sack of sweets!

Gaius
Hey, keep your sticky little mitts to yourself, kiddo. No one touches Gaius's candy stash and lives to tell the tale.

Henry
I don't WANT any, silly. I just like looking at them!

Gaius
Huh? You never seen sweets before?

Henry
Not many, no. Back in Plegia, we hardly have any cakes or sweets at all. We don't get the plentiful harvests that Ylisseans and Feroxi enjoy. So the dishes we make are kind of basic, you know? Nothing like those, anyhow.

Gaius
Sounds like you had it pretty rough.

Henry
Yup. It's hard to make cakes out of turnips, though that doesn't stop people trying! Anyway, the point is, I've never seen so many tasty-looking treats all in one place!

Gaius
Well, when it comes to sweets and cakes, presentation is as important as flavor. A sophisticated gourmand like me can tell a good cake from a bad one at fifty paces.

Henry
Huh. I never dreamed there were so many different kinds of desserts. I'm pretty sure I could spend the whole day staring at your stash!

Gaius
You know what, Junior? I can see you're a man of exquisite taste. Tell you what...I'm gonna show you my secret hoard. I'm talking the gods' own sweets here. Treats like you ain't never seen. I've got a feeling you'll appreciate their splendor more than most.

Henry
Huh?! You mean you've got even more than what's in that sack?!

Gaius
Are you kidding? This little sampling would barely last me a single battle! Anyway, wait right here while I fetch my hoard. And don't try to follow me!

Henry
All right! Come back soon! Nya ha! This is gonna be great!


Gaius > Henry

Gaius
All right, Junior. You ready?

Henry
Am I READY?! I thought my head was gonna explode from the anticipation!

Gaius
Sorry it took so long. My hoard's gotten pretty big. Hauling it around ain't easy. Anyway, to business! Wait for it... Wait for iiit... Ta-DAAAAH! Feast your eyes on THIS!

Henry
WHOA! That is one amazing collection!

Gaius
Isn't it? Here, check out this wyvern in flight—that's icing and marzipan, kiddo. And this looks like a regular quail egg, right? But it's actually a jellied coconut!

Henry
That's SO cool! Hee hee! And what about this one?

Gaius
Ah-ha! I knew you had an eye for quality, Junior. This, my savvy young friend, is the specialty of a little place in a distant corner of Valm. I don't recall the name of it, but inside it's filled with sweet black beans.

Henry
BEANS?! Nya ha! What an odd choice! So does it taste any good?

Gaius
Does it taste good, he says! I've had dozens of the things, and each one's been better than the last. They're full bodied and smooth, with a nutty sweetness that lingers on the tongue. Texture is medium firm, with a pillowry bite that melts in the mouth. Very well balanced. See the subtle earth tones of the dough and how they complement the filling? These sweet cakes are the work of a master—the result of YEARS of dedication. In fact, it's fair to say they represent the very pinnacle of the confectioner's art!

Henry
Wow! Yeah, I totally get that! Anything that has beans in it and still looks that good MUST be special!

Gaius
Right? Though not everyone appreciates them as much as you, strange to say.

Henry
Well, thanks for showing me your treasures, Gaius. It's been lots of fun! ...Oh! I almost forgot! I brought something to show you too!

Gaius
You did? What is it? A cake from your Plegian homeland?

Henry
Yeah...something like that! They're baked in special ceremonies as offerings to Grima. Never eaten one myself, but as you're the expert, I figured you'd like to try it!

Gaius
Crivens, Junior, was this baked in the fires of hell? It reeks of sulfur, and there's an evil, black miasma oozing from it... It...it's like something that fell off one of those walking corpses...

Henry
Nya ha ha! You really do know your sweets. That's EXACTLY what it's like! Sooo...are you gonna take a bite or what? First time for everything, right?

Gaius
Er...so they say, bu—

Henry
I just KNEW a self-proclaimed expert like you would want to give it a try. I mean, what kind of connoisseur turns down the chance to sample a whole new taste?!

Gaius
Er, yeah! Absolutely. Took the words right out of my mouth, ha ha! ...Ha. The thing is...I'm completely stuffed right now. Couldn't do it justice, you know? Maybe a bit later...or a LOT later, when I'm feeling more, er...peckish.

Henry
Alrighty! Here, I'll give you this one, and you can dig in when you're ready. Oh, and don't forget to give me your report—I wanna hear ALL the taste details!

Gaius
Ack! Y-you want me to touch the cursed thing? ...With my bare hands? C-could I maybe just...leave it here on the ground? While I, er...go do something? I'm sure it'll still be there when I come back!

Henry
Well, duh! Of course not! Then you'd get sand all over it, silly!

Gaius
O-oh...right. Ha ha... Wouldn't want to...*gag*...spoil it...


Henry > Libra

Libra
Hah! Hi-yah! Keeee-YAH!

Henry
Hey-o, Libra! Why are you swinging your weapon at thin air like that?

Libra
I'm practicing my strikes. It's part of my daily training regimen.

Henry
Huh. Don't you get uncomfortable flailing around like that in this heat?

Libra
I'm only as hot as I allow myself to be. There is no pain the mind cannot overcome.

Henry
Really? I wonder. I figured some pain was way too deep for that...

Libra
You did? What kind of pain?

Henry
Like, I dunno...you're a priest, but you wield a weapon and smash people with it, right? I bet it causes you all kinds of anguish to have to splatter the life out of others!

Libra
That's...very perceptive of you, Henry. It's true that I inflict wounds with one hand while healing them with the other. But I do so in the belief that those wounds ultimately save lives.

Henry
But what a winding road to walk! Doesn't the contradiction drive you crazy? Why not leave the killing to those of us who enjoy it, and just focus on healing?

Libra
That's something I've often considered. But in the end, I always choose otherwise. When you wield a weapon, you hold the power to change men's fates in your hand. I have chosen to do so with full understanding and respect for that truth.

Henry
Aren't you overthinking things a little? A weapon's just a tool for killing! Wouldn't it be a whole lot easier to just accept that and move on? Who knows—you might wind up like me and start to really savor the joys of slaying! I mean, when you get down to it, aren't you and I both doing the exact same thing?

Libra
You're right. Accepting that probably would make things easier. But I don't believe that wielding a weapon should be easy...

Henry
Heh. You sure do like to make things difficult for yourself. I thought I might be able to help you simplify your life a bit, but... Oh well!

Libra
We'll just have to accept that we're never going to agree on this topic. And I'll just have to hope that you can somehow learn to respect that...


Libra > Henry

Henry
Hey there, Libra! Say, can we continue the conversation we were having?

Libra
Are you sure you want that? I would certainly be happy to comply, but I fear I'll simply end up repeating myself. I apologize in advance if I bore you...

Henry
Bore me? No way! I always enjoy talking with you, Libra!

Libra
You do?

Henry
I mean, I guess it's hard for an altruist like yourself to respect an egoist like me, but...

Libra
Not at all. In fact, I would say we have the same core philosophy. We simply justify it differently.

Henry
Oh yeah? Go on—this should be good...

Libra
You're no egoist. Don't forget that I've seen you fight. I've seen you risk your life to save others—civilian and comrade alike. That's hardly a display of self-centered behavior.

Henry
Pah! You probably just saw some of my wanton slaughter save someone by chance!

Libra
No. I've seen you observing the battlefield and moving in to help those in peril. You can say that it's because you love fighting or because it's all just a game. But I know the truth, Henry. You're deliberately saving lives.

Henry
......

Libra
And the gods know it too.

Henry
They do, huh? Well, I don't believe in the gods, so it doesn't really matter what they think!

Libra
I see...

Henry
But for some reason, I do kinda care what you think, Libra. That's a little weird, huh?

Libra
Not in the least. It simply means you've accepted me as a friend and ally. I am pleased and honored. I shall continue to watch over you—for the rest of this battle, and beyond.

Henry
Nya ha! Thanks, Libra!


Post-Battle

Chrom
...Did we get them all?

Merchant
Did you ever! You Shepherds are lifesavers. Sorry your day at the resort turned into such a chore.

Chrom
It's all right. Just knowing that you're safe because of us is relaxation enough.

Merchant
Thanks. ...That's a little strange, but thanks. Well, the sun's starting to hang lower than a wet bathing suit... Feel free to spend the rest of the day swimming or beachcombing or whatever. We could build a fire pit or have a clambake or something tonight? I'm game!

Chrom
That sounds like fun. I'll let the others know.

Merchant
Just tell me what you need, and I'll be at your service. You've earned it!

Chrom
Thanks, Anna. I'll do that.

Merchant
...... Are they gone? All right, baby, time for me to rake in some serious moola! I knew this Snapshot tome me and my sisters invented would come in handy. Now I've got pictures of the Shepherds wearing nothing but— *snicker* People will pay an arm and a leg for these! Should I make a calendar? Hmm...

Frederick
Pardon me, but I had a question.

Merchant
AIEEE! ...You, uh, weren't listening just now, were you?

Frederick
No, milady... Why?

Merchant
Uh, no reason... Anyway, what's your question?

Frederick
You mentioned we could build a fire pit... Do you know where I can find some tinder?

Merchant
Oh! Of course. There's some right over there. Help yourself. Just make sure to leave some for the next guests.

Frederick
How much is "some," exactly?

Merchant
Um...significantly less than "all" would be a good place to start?

Frederick
Thank you, milady. You have been most helpful.

Merchant
Yeesh... That was weird. I hope he doesn't burn the whole place down. Maybe suggesting a fire pit wasn't the best idea. But then again...catching the great Frederick in an act of pyromania would make a great snapshot! Let me just grab my tome... ...Huh? Shoot, it's gone! And all my pictures with it! What could've happened to it...? ...Oh NO! There it is! It's getting washed out to sea! I must have dropped it when that oaf asked me his stupid question...

Frederick
I am so sorry to bother you again.

Merchant
...Um, yes?

Frederick
I just realized I never took the time to properly express my gratitude.

Merchant
...Your gratitude?

Frederick
Yes. You went out of your way to treat us like honored guests today. As a result, we've had a splendid time. I've never seen the others so happy. You truly have a wonderful heart.

Merchant
Erm...

Frederick
On behalf of my lord Chrom and all the Shepherds, I thank you. And now I will get out of your hair. ...Good day, milady.

Merchant
...Ugh. And now my Snapshot tome is just a tiny speck on the horizon... So much for my grand enterprise. ...Oh well. All things considered, today could've ended much worse. If I can't roll in gold, I may as well take the silver lining...