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FE4 THREAD

Fia

By Fia
in Far from the Forest...

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Freohr Datia Newbie

Freohr Datia

Posted
Posted
On 11/30/2017 at 6:31 PM, Fleece said:

lol of course my plans to move falls flat because everything has to go wrong for me, dumbass landlord rented the lower level apartment to someone else because he thought my friend's mom wasn't serious enough about moving so now my friend's mom can't move out which means I can't move in so I'm going to be stuck here for god knows how long unless we just find a new place soon but that sounds unlikely

I don't really feel like dealing with more abuse from my parents, theres so little few things that keep me going anymore
though at least Pride and his friend were considering getting a place in spring so I could possibly live with them which means living with him sooner than expected and being with him is what I really want the most, and unlike my other friends I feel like he'd actually intervene if things get worse with my parents

idk how to type coherently I just wanna sleep 24/7

of course something went wrong

gurl I get tired just trying to imagine what is all going on over there, I could not even comprehend how tired it makes all you

7 hours ago, Fleece said:

well things might be ok after all but i don't even know if its worth giving updates anymore with how lopsided everything gets with them >_> and I always expect the worst but hopefully nothing else will happen

if it helps you/makes you feel better to talk about it then I say keep it up (it's not like anything else keeps this thread going :D)

but if it's even more tiring for you to keep talking and then having to tell a different story then less updates is fine too

but like it sounds like you could use any amount of coping as possible and I certainly don't want you to stop something if it even remotely helps

 

for now, god I severely hope that the plan does work out in the end

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Freohr Datia Newbie

Freohr Datia

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On 11/30/2017 at 6:31 PM, Fleece said:

lol of course my plans to move falls flat because everything has to go wrong for me, dumbass landlord rented the lower level apartment to someone else because he thought my friend's mom wasn't serious enough about moving so now my friend's mom can't move out which means I can't move in so I'm going to be stuck here for god knows how long unless we just find a new place soon but that sounds unlikely

I don't really feel like dealing with more abuse from my parents, theres so little few things that keep me going anymore
though at least Pride and his friend were considering getting a place in spring so I could possibly live with them which means living with him sooner than expected and being with him is what I really want the most, and unlike my other friends I feel like he'd actually intervene if things get worse with my parents

idk how to type coherently I just wanna sleep 24/7

of course something went wrong

gurl I get tired just trying to imagine what is all going on over there, I could not even comprehend how tired it makes all you

7 hours ago, Fleece said:

well things might be ok after all but i don't even know if its worth giving updates anymore with how lopsided everything gets with them >_> and I always expect the worst but hopefully nothing else will happen

if it helps you/makes you feel better to talk about it then I say keep it up (it's not like anything else keeps this thread going :D)

but if it's even more tiring for you to keep talking and then having to tell a different story then less updates is fine too

but like it sounds like you could use any amount of coping as possible and I certainly don't want you to stop something if it even remotely helps

 

for now, god I severely hope that the plan does work out in the end

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Acacia Sgt Grand Master

Acacia Sgt

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Posted (edited)

Ah, next week is the last before the holidays. I'm so grateful...

I'd say, it's like this place. Quieting down.

Anyone feeling like living up the place with talks for the holidays?

Edited by Acacia Sgt
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Fleece Newbie

Fleece

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On 12/1/2017 at 11:05 PM, Freohr Datia said:

of course something went wrong

gurl I get tired just trying to imagine what is all going on over there, I could not even comprehend how tired it makes all you

if it helps you/makes you feel better to talk about it then I say keep it up (it's not like anything else keeps this thread going :D)

but if it's even more tiring for you to keep talking and then having to tell a different story then less updates is fine too

but like it sounds like you could use any amount of coping as possible and I certainly don't want you to stop something if it even remotely helps

 

for now, god I severely hope that the plan does work out in the end

thats how it usually is for me

I don't mind talking about it besides being pooped I just feel like I'd annoy people with how constantly things change and they're probably thinking like "don't give us an update unless something substantial happens" and with it being such a rollercoaster it probably gets tiresome to read about too idk I'm just being self-conscious

and talking about it does help with coping a bit but I should probably do something more healthy too uhhhh its just concerning because lately I feel so bad I just mostly sleep or barely sleep and feel like a zombie and having to exert the smallest amount of energy feels like a huge task and I don't wanna ask people to help with motivation because a lot of times when someone tries to I still can't and I hate letting people down I'm not really good at doing anything for myself or anyone else bbbut hopefully I'll figure out something
I made a phonecall re:my insurance and I turned in another job app today so thats an accomplishment at least

also moving out is super stressful because I've been pretty much groomed to be co-dependent on my mom especially and I hate it I want nothing to do with her but I also feel like I'm somehow doing something bad by leaving the house and also by going against what she wants by living somewhere else even though in reality shes the one doing wrong by trying to force me to stay and how she treats me but when that gets ingrained into you its hard to break out of, this is my first time doing something so hugely independent that I can't help be but scared a bit even though its best for me in the end
I'm always super indecisive and I never trust myself not to mess up without consulting someone for just about anything

I don't want to get yelled at or badmouthed even more by either parent anymore either I'm bad at dealing with it and I know making progress is gonna make it worse

but yes thank you Fre \0/

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Freohr Datia Newbie

Freohr Datia

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Posted
1 hour ago, Fleece said:

thats how it usually is for me

I don't mind talking about it besides being pooped I just feel like I'd annoy people with how constantly things change and they're probably thinking like "don't give us an update unless something substantial happens" and with it being such a rollercoaster it probably gets tiresome to read about too idk I'm just being self-conscious

and talking about it does help with coping a bit but I should probably do something more healthy too uhhhh its just concerning because lately I feel so bad I just mostly sleep or barely sleep and feel like a zombie and having to exert the smallest amount of energy feels like a huge task and I don't wanna ask people to help with motivation because a lot of times when someone tries to I still can't and I hate letting people down I'm not really good at doing anything for myself or anyone else bbbut hopefully I'll figure out something
I made a phonecall re:my insurance and I turned in another job app today so thats an accomplishment at least

also moving out is super stressful because I've been pretty much groomed to be co-dependent on my mom especially and I hate it I want nothing to do with her but I also feel like I'm somehow doing something bad by leaving the house and also by going against what she wants by living somewhere else even though in reality shes the one doing wrong by trying to force me to stay and how she treats me but when that gets ingrained into you its hard to break out of, this is my first time doing something so hugely independent that I can't help be but scared a bit even though its best for me in the end
I'm always super indecisive and I never trust myself not to mess up without consulting someone for just about anything

I don't want to get yelled at or badmouthed even more by either parent anymore either I'm bad at dealing with it and I know making progress is gonna make it worse

but yes thank you Fre \0/

I can't answer for everyone but I certainly don't mind getting any of the updates no matter how minor. I feel like most others would feel the same but if they don't they can just EAT IT

Well, I feel like talking to people about it can be a healthy thing, but I guess I can also see what you mean calling it unhealthy as well if it gives you too much time to dwell on the situation. But you could probably balance talking about it and doing other healthy things as well! Though that could be easier said than done. BUT HEY I'm proud of you for making some progress today!! And I hope it helps you (at least even in the slightest bit) to hear that I don't think people would blame you for not improving in motivation after you try talking to them. I wish I could help better in the feelings of guilt you get, but that's a thing I struggle with so often as well and if I have had any ways to improve myself in that aspect, I can't think of any right now and even if I did idk if I could put it into words...

christ. yeah it sounds like your mother did the opposite of what parents are supposed to NOT ONLY in that she's being stupid and abusive all the time but also because she made you so dependent, when parents are supposed to be preparing their children for being able to take care of themselves. Hey though, endgame is living with Pride though, is it? I'm sure he will work you into being independent better. I hope the people you're planning on moving in with can do the same for you in the meantime.

Yeah I hope the aftermath of you moving out doesn't turn out too terrible for you... Integrity's parents are both quite distant from majority of both their families and extended families (his mother in particular also had a very abusive mother) so they are rarely in touch with them, but they are happy enough with their own family that they have now. I hope you can get that solace for yourself as well!!

and NO PROBLEM, really it is not!

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Freohr Datia Newbie

Freohr Datia

Posted
Posted

the thread is lacking its new girl for the sixth or seventh or whatever generation it's supposed to be on and without the sacrificial offerings to this thread it DIED

that and probably also just moved locations~

 

but like every single new page contains posts about how the thread is dead or a zombie now and I think that implies enough on its own that this thread rightfully should not still be going

but that's okay zombies can be friends too probably

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