Phoenix Posted July 4, 2018 Author Share Posted July 4, 2018 I'll point out a few things that stuck out in an odd or negative way, but I don't see any major issues with the signup: Mage Garb: Outside of organizations there isn't any particular clothing mages/shamans/etc wear since it has no bearing on their magic. Some even wear full armor. The Pendant: Now, this magic/tech does exist it's not something Ramona could plausibly have right now (if you need more details on this just let me know). Schooling: Learning even one type of magic is hard enough that 99% of the time magic users are only expected to pick up a primary and a secondary at most. Schooling Continued: I'd be a bit more careful about the way you're structuring Ramona's schooling; the resemblance to modern education is a little uncanny. Studying: Not the best time to be going on adventures, but if that's intentional then I'm fine with it. Multiple goals and setting priorities can be good for characterization. Assuming all this gets ironed out, which shouldn't be too difficult, Ramona approved. If you haven't already you should join the discord server. When I'm online I can address things a bit faster and even when I'm not other people are usually on the ball. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poimagic Posted July 4, 2018 Share Posted July 4, 2018 Anyways, I made some changes to it I’ve changed it to just a simple dress clothing outside of school, a robe for her college only, and a chest plate for Battle Ramona’s pendant just contains pictures of her family now She has changed to how she choose dark and anima magic when she signed up for the college. I haven’t figured out the similarities to modern day schooling, but I’ll hopefully figure them out eventually The studying thing has been changed to a day thing, with the blanks being filled when I figure out when Team sanctuary arrives. I could make it that she is already graduated from college Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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