Crimson Red Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I have a bunch of comments I made during my playthrough, but I'm not sure if you're looking for critique, which a lot of it is. If you don't mind it, I'll post it, if you do, then I won't. =\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) I've already jumped the shark on that one :/. Edited February 2, 2011 by Optimus OVERTROLL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstraLunaSol Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 I think the bad guys should hire better bandits, this guy's been trying for five turns and his attacks have all failed :P. But in all serious, did you forget tile changes? Or did you not want the village destroyed so quickly? If it's the latter, simply putting the village destroying bandit further away would handle this. It would also add some challenge to ferrying people over, since you'd have to get the village before Mr. Bandit comes along while handling everything else. .....I thought I killed that AI. Oh well, things like this is why I released patch~ Oh noes, he's gonna betray us! Oh wait, maybe I'd be surprised if Furetchen wasn't all "I don't trust the guy. He's gonna betray us." It might have been better if you didn't have him outright show that at the beginning of the chapter, and saved such an important revelation for when he actually does betray us (like how you had VERY subtle hints about Nasir in FE9). I spy with my little eyes...the hack's mandatory Innes splice! Let me say that I do like the hack, but it has little things that irk me. Will fix both. I have a bunch of comments I made during my playthrough, but I'm not sure if you're looking for critique, which a lot of it is. If you don't mind it, I'll post it, if you do, then I won't. =\ Go for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperblade Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I think the bad guys should hire better bandits, this guy's been trying for five turns and his attacks have all failed :P. Man, I didn't even notice this since I'm compelled to get all villages. Maybe it's an FE4 village ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Kolbane's body is good, but his face is too much like Wil's. Those are Allan's eyes, I swear! Oh noes, he's gonna betray us! Oh wait, maybe I'd be surprised if Furetchen wasn't all "I don't trust the guy. He's gonna betray us." It might have been better if you didn't have him outright show that at the beginning of the chapter, and saved such an important revelation for when he actually does betray us (like how you had VERY subtle hints about Nasir in FE9). I spy with my little eyes...the hack's mandatory Innes splice! Let me say that I do like the hack, but it has little things that irk me. Subtelty. Got it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) One more criticism to add (sorry guys). The character doesn't look significantly older than the rest of the cast to me. Certainly not a "veteran" having fought for "long years." If you're looking to scars to make him appear older, it isn't really working :/. He just looks like he's gotten in some bad fights, not like a "veteran." Edited February 2, 2011 by Optimus OVERTROLL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstraLunaSol Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 ...I was gonna edit Furet up, anyway. XD As well as a bunch of other mugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I'd like to throw it out there that I really like Chester's mug! The weapon icons are also quite good (although having a curved handle on a throwing axe seems odd). Though Kolbane is one mug that stands out as a splice in comparison to Chester and the rest of the cast. The tactician (who's name escapes me) would be improved my not having a straight copy of Hausen's face (the rest of it is quite good though). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RNG Princess Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) I was wondering if this: could be used to replace my mug ^^' the reason is to vary haircolors and match her personality. But then Feaw said Inaire's and Ilanice's faces needed more customness. Will the mugs get replaced? There are a large portion of characters that share faces with existing characters. I do think my char needs a more original look though, especially the outfit/armor. Edited February 2, 2011 by Queen_Elincia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanami Touko Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) I can answer that. Dan's doing edits to mugs, so, yours will still be there, it will just get a few changes to it, if you don't mind. And, we don't mind pink, but, uh... Would you mind if we choose a better pink? That one's kinda painful. Edited February 2, 2011 by seph1212 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstraLunaSol Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) I'll use a different pink, but it will be pink, if that's what you want. I was planning on customing the outfit more, so no worries there. Like: Edited February 2, 2011 by Shion Kaito Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RNG Princess Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) I'll use a different pink, but it will be pink, if that's what you want. I was planning on customing the outfit more, so no worries there. Thank you Astra and I don't mind, I just think pink would be a good variety that was more like an example (rippin off Serra's colors lol) That is a pretty pink ^_^ Edited February 2, 2011 by Queen_Elincia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Red Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 - ploughshares? what is that? - "well we'll" sounds bad--get rid of the 'well', it's redundant and inarticulate - haha it sure did take a while for some of the units to get into position - needs more [A] in some text cases - [11:47] Arch: Village attack fail [11:48] Arch: No tile changes in Chapter 1 [11:48] Arch: Brigand keeps attacking the village (self-explanatory) - I'd be lying if I said Furetchen looked old like his description implies... - The portraits are all pretty good, which is a major plus - All of the battle sprite palettes are pretty good, nice job with that. - lol "arses"... either be vulgar or don't, but halfway just sounds really, really bad... like puke-bad... - Renair's the commander? *shocked* (you'd think she'd at least double) - YEAH RANDOM CHARACTERS FTW (at least the portraits are well-shaded!) - ENEMY TURN REINFORCEMENTS, YOU JERK - I think I've gotten a critical with the Gold Edge almost everytime I've used it... O_O - why are Pegasus Knights getting doubled by generic bandits - Chapter 2 map is way too big... as in, unnecessarily big... - Chester's NPC palette is fucked up - Chester NEEDS a vulnerary, so he won't go kill himself - YESZ, mandatory Innes splice guy who talks to himself a lot! - Crispin isn't bad for a level 3 archer... ._. - *Amelia spam's boss* - I missed 6 times in a row with a 57% chance... this game's RNG sucks!!! (jk) - Rankin doesn't have a death quote - If you're going to use the "KILL" code... the guy should be dead... if not, use an unconscious map sprite replacement or something... I actually thought he was dead (I'd be dead if I took 87 damage and only had 39HP... >_>) Overall: plot is ok, maps are ok, sprites are good, music is N/A, gameplay is pretty good (maps are kinda involved in that though), overall it was good. Do excuse me if some stuff was already mentioned by someone else... (like Arch XP). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peener weener Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) - ploughshares? what is that? - "well we'll" sounds bad--get rid of the 'well', it's redundant and inarticulate - haha it sure did take a while for some of the units to get into position - needs more [A] in some text cases - [11:47] Arch: Village attack fail [11:48] Arch: No tile changes in Chapter 1 [11:48] Arch: Brigand keeps attacking the village (self-explanatory) - I'd be lying if I said Furetchen looked old like his description implies... - The portraits are all pretty good, which is a major plus - All of the battle sprite palettes are pretty good, nice job with that. - lol "arses"... either be vulgar or don't, but halfway just sounds really, really bad... like puke-bad... - Renair's the commander? *shocked* (you'd think she'd at least double) - YEAH RANDOM CHARACTERS FTW (at least the portraits are well-shaded!) - ENEMY TURN REINFORCEMENTS, YOU JERK - I think I've gotten a critical with the Gold Edge almost everytime I've used it... O_O - why are Pegasus Knights getting doubled by generic bandits - Chapter 2 map is way too big... as in, unnecessarily big... - Chester's NPC palette is fucked up - Chester NEEDS a vulnerary, so he won't go kill himself - YESZ, mandatory Innes splice guy who talks to himself a lot! - Crispin isn't bad for a level 3 archer... ._. - *Amelia spam's boss* - I missed 6 times in a row with a 57% chance... this game's RNG sucks!!! (jk) - Rankin doesn't have a death quote - If you're going to use the "KILL" code... the guy should be dead... if not, use an unconscious map sprite replacement or something... I actually thought he was dead (I'd be dead if I took 87 damage and only had 39HP... >_>) Overall: plot is ok, maps are ok, sprites are good, music is N/A, gameplay is pretty good (maps are kinda involved in that though), overall it was good. Do excuse me if some stuff was already mentioned by someone else... (like Arch XP). Please don't even attempt dabbling in language and script matters. Ever again. Ever Ever Ever Edited February 2, 2011 by The Valter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) I'll answer what applies to me. - ploughshares? what is that? - "well we'll" sounds bad--get rid of the 'well', it's redundant and inarticulate - I'd be lying if I said Furetchen looked old like his description implies... - lol "arses"... either be vulgar or don't, but halfway just sounds really, really bad... like puke-bad... - why are Pegasus Knights getting doubled by generic bandits - YESZ, mandatory Innes splice guy who talks to himself a lot! - Crispin isn't bad for a level 3 archer... ._. - *Amelia spam's boss* - I missed 6 times in a row with a 57% chance... this game's RNG sucks!!! (jk) -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plowshare Ain;'t never heard of the phrase 'swords to ploughshares'? -No. -As before, mug's being changed. -What should I use instead? Asses falls into the same category, but I'm not an American (I use it when arses doesn't flow into the sentence), butt doesn't work because they aren't twelve-year old girls, bottom sounds ridiculous...don't even suggest anus. And for the level of profanity that's been selected, 'shitside' sounds a little...meaningless. -Don't equip them with weapons they can't handle? -Conceded on the sprite. He's an egomaniac. -He's a mid-boss. Should he be? No. -We were kinda going on faith that nobody would just sit there and train for like fifty turns, and instead, y'know, finish the map or something. I know it's a crazy idea. -The RNG hates people who spam 2-range on sword bosses, the same way Norris is beloved of the RNGoddess and the only way to kill him is to outduel him from two squares away. EDIT: Herp, [/qpoiler]. Edited February 2, 2011 by Furetchen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstraLunaSol Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) - ploughshares? what is that? As the word Plough implies, tool which farmers use. - "well we'll" sounds bad--get rid of the 'well', it's redundant and inarticulate Furet's writing style, though, [6:27:40 PM] Seph1212: It should be well, we'll. [6:27:42 PM] Seph1212: Commas~ - needs more [A] in some text cases I thought there might've been a tad too many in some places. But okay. - lol "arses"... either be vulgar or don't, but halfway just sounds really, really bad... like puke-bad... Wut. - Renair's the commander? *shocked* (you'd think she'd at least double) Eliwood. - YEAH RANDOM CHARACTERS FTW (at least the portraits are well-shaded!) - ENEMY TURN REINFORCEMENTS, YOU JERK YEAH - I think I've gotten a critical with the Gold Edge almost everytime I've used it... O_O lol - why are Pegasus Knights getting doubled by generic bandits Because retarded Con. - Chapter 2 map is way too big... as in, unnecessarily big... ....Chapter 2? - Chester NEEDS a vulnerary, so he won't go kill himself Use the peggy you were supplied with - Crispin isn't bad for a level 3 archer... ._. lol - Rankin doesn't have a death quote /checks - If you're going to use the "KILL" code... the guy should be dead... if not, use an unconscious map sprite replacement or something... I actually thought he was dead (I'd be dead if I took 87 damage and only had 39HP... >_>) I did something~ Is there an unconscious warrior map sprite? oh lol, there is, NEVERMIND Overall: plot is ok, maps are ok, sprites are good, music is N/A, gameplay is pretty good (maps are kinda involved in that though), overall it was good. Do excuse me if some stuff was already mentioned by someone else... (like Arch XP). Replies in Bold, but yeah. PLOT GETS BETTER Edited February 2, 2011 by Shion Kaito Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Red Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 ^Alright good luck with the improvements, not that there is much to improve... here are my final responses, and once again, I mentioned what I did because saying good things doesn't help you improve your hack, critiquing does, and you said to go ahead, so I did~ Is there an unconscious warrior map sprite? Actually, I think Brendan had a dead one... lol. But that could be used as an unconscious one. Then Furetchen wouldn't completely disappear and trick us into thinking that his body turned into ashes. Heheh. -Don't equip them with weapons they can't handle? Slim Lance lol -The RNG hates people who spam 2-range on sword bosses I was just joking, sheesh... Ain;'t never heard of the phrase 'swords to ploughshares'? no, I live in America - Renair's the commander? *shocked* (you'd think she'd at least double)Eliwood. ...Point, I'm starting to appreciate how relatively good she is now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 ^Alright good luck with the improvements, not that there is much to improve... here are my final responses, and once again, I mentioned what I did because saying good things doesn't help you improve your hack, critiquing does, and you said to go ahead, so I did~ Actually, I think Brendan had a dead one... lol. But that could be used as an unconscious one. Then Furetchen wouldn't completely disappear and trick us into thinking that his body turned into ashes. Heheh. Slim Lance lol I was just joking, sheesh... no, I live in America ...Point, I'm starting to appreciate how relatively good she is now... I know, I know. Yeah. Being discussed now. Better than being doubled with Iron, innit? As was I~ Then don't send Bryson over here to snark about making hay while the sun shines. In fairness, I have a faintly archaic writing style. Kinda like the PSP translation of FFT, but from a different average income of London. There we are, then. She's in charge because Furetchen is too bloody-minded and Kolbane is too honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperblade Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) no, I live in America The term swords to plowshares (or ploughshares as they have it spelled, which is also correct I believe) originates from the Bible. It's the idea of turning military weapons towards more peaceful, civilian uses. I could give a few relatively modern uses of it if you want. Edited February 3, 2011 by Paperblade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) Contrary to what may be popular belief, not all Americans have read the bible (I certainly haven't). Plowshare isn't used very commonly in America (I don't think I've ever heard it). It fits with the "archaic" style I suppose, but you shouldn't write archaic and not expect people to have a few questions now and then. Also, a general comment on the script. Every two lines should have an [A], otherwise things are skipped quickly or difficult to read for those of us who prefer faster text speed. Edited February 3, 2011 by Optimus OVERTROLL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstraLunaSol Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 Even if it looks fairly odd to have a pause? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kriemhild Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 what does Stoic mean? To endure pain and suffering without showing it. Oh, another thing, Proto, you say Allan left because the hack wasn't moving? His leaving was more related to me and Mao than to lack of progress AFAIK. Uh, no, I have absolutely no idea WHY he left. I was simply pointing out that he shared the same thoughts about the slow hack progress. I can't claim to know what triggered him to leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperblade Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 You don't have to have read it. I can keep going if you want me to totally derail the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) Sorry that I don't play Magic: The Gathering? But dude, it's not a common phrase! I know it because I acted in Les Mis, but I've never heard anyone normally say "swords to plowshares" or "plowshares." It's archaic terminology, the writer admits to having hints of archaic in his writing (plowshares would be one of those hints). And yes, you put an [A] even where it looks awkward. Functionality > a trivial look (the text "awkwardness" doesn't look that weird). Edited February 3, 2011 by Optimus OVERTROLL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astelaine Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I played through the first chapter today. Looking good! Kolbane did not have a death quote, however. Don't ask how I found this out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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