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Elieson

Let's together stroll down the Path of Radiance.

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My first playthrough.

After weeks of toying with hardware, and software alike, basically clicking the checkbox, restarting, unclicking, and yada yada yada until something happened, I finally got this Dolphin program able to run Fire Emblem Path of Radiance!

I figure'd I'd log the adventure, since I really don't know anything about this game other than a generalized assumption of the characters in the game, and the fact that I need to take notes for my Tellius GBA project.

Also, this is on Easy modo, because 1, I don't really feel like getting held up in a game that I'm just starting, and 2, I want to be able to kinda cruise through this game, enjoying everything I can.

And don't mind the boxes around the characters' eyes/mouth. If I remove it, the game freezes.

Prologue

__________

I start my adventure by quickly whiting out through the opening sequences, because I can't view the shiny FMV thing anyway. Dolphin won't cooperate /that/ much. Also, I keep hearing this voice in my head. It screams, Tutorial this. You are a fucking doofus, so listen to me, the Ever Omnipotent Being manifested in your mind as an Options menu!

Fuck you Tutorial. I haven't played this game yet, but go help someone else. I'm Ike. Fucking Boss. I Co-star in Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

I get to a prologue battle, and learn that even while training, I'mx apparently still a level 1 Noob with blue hair (because you gotta have the blue hair). Apparently my dad and sister are standing on the edge of solid ground, and my friend Boyd wants to smash my face with his training axe. I completely disagree with his intentions, by slicing his gut and feasting on his loins...err, Experience points.

My little sister kept cheering him on. What a little bitch. Good thing Dad's right there, or I just might...

Oh Hi dad! What, no I was just pretending to be mad at Mist. She's cute and adorable and sweet and innocent and a little princess, right? Oh come on, you believe me. I'm Ike...your own flesh and blood...screw it. You want at me. Come at me Bro...err, Pa?

Thanks for the Vulnerary, Sis. I'll be sure to drink it. You didn't put Turbo Lax in it again, did you?

Anyway, I slice and dice my father, and level up twice in the process. I gained a Mag and a Res. Ridiculously, I gained 0 str. As Horace would say, "fuckdammit".

-Anyhow, battle won. I proved awesome, and dad quits being mad at me for treating Mist the way she should be treated. Boyd starts a campfire and forgets why we were here.

I skip the next sequence by complete accident, then learn how to save the game.

Chapter 1

The Battle Begins

(Even though I just beat up my dad...Oh, I guess that didn't count yet)

__________

What's up Dad? Oh hell, sorry I overslept Dad. Screw you, it's my first day. I was up all night fapping to Titania porn on the Internet ok! Deal with it, I don't know if I'll live long enough to do it again!

Oh what's this? Oh hell no.

ouhcY.png

I'm not playing second fiddle while you "talk" with the hot chick. Screw you dad. I hope you get murdered by a fucking huge armor wearing Knight.

Anyway, let's go. It's my first job! I got brothers Oscar the Awesome, and Boyd the Brawn, following me and Titties. Let's go already! I wanna kill some bandits!

Quick Reminders. Not a bad thing, but I know this crap. Ok, fight time!

Holy hell, I have 4 Iron Swords? Boyd/Ike double team the first northern bandito, and Oscar attacks the other, while Titania visits a village for loots. Apparently Zawana and hits/her crew want in on this. I don't mind, it's all pro. While Zawana flaps her yap, Oscar counterkills. Why does Ike get hit by everything?

For Fuck's Sake. Ike Died. Retry, and up to this point, the same shit, except I had Ike heal.

Amazingly enough, Ike gains another 1Res. Boyd swings his axe like a bumbling idiot a bunch. Oscar rocks the socks. Tits bosskills. Oscar pats Ike on the back. Boyd opens his mouth and more idiocy spews out of it. Titania orders us to return home to enjoy the dinner that my loli sister is apparently cooking for us.

Chapter 2

Rescue

What...I wasn't expecting this until maybe Chapter 4 or so!

___________

Enter Rhys. Not Wryyyyyyyyyyyys, Rhys. Like the Peanut butter cup. His hair resembles the color of the label, so there must be a connection.

He gives Titania a secret love letter, signed by the villagers. Or a picture of his masculine body covered in honey and attracting bees. I'm not sure. Maybe it's a drawing of Ike kissing Mist. I dunno, but apparently Titania is pissed.

Oh fuck no. Those bandits took my loli sister, and her shota boyfriend. This, I cannot approve of. Which way did they go? How many are there? Are we sure it's from the bandits we just killed, and not their currently-alive allies? I don't know. BUT I MUST FIGHT THEM! C'mon gang, you're my entourage now!

Damnit, they outnumber us 2:1. They need better odds for a fair fight, even with Tits lollygagging around with Griel's umm...

Fight time!

I'm sure if you're reading this, you can anticipate the battle layout and occurance. And I learned that bushes wiggle. And Ike can gain even more Mag, and even Boyd can gain Res too. In fact. Boyd Mc-I'mgonnacriticalhitthebossandearna-Boss Kill gained another level, and gained another Spd and Def. Damn, he's catching on after all!

Ahh, saved my sis, and her shota boytoy. Got a little loot. Also witnessed someone experience a real life "Boom, Headshot!" moment. I doubt he'll get to experience it again. Titania, you never told us all to wait here, don't be pissy with me. And Rolf. Man the fuck up.

Chapter 3

Pirates Aground

I know there's pirates aground. There's also pirates asea too, but I don't make dumb statements like that.

_____________

Apparently, I'm in shit for saving my sister. Boyd and Oscar are to for saving their brother. Guess we should've done it Tit's/Griel's way. The not-saving-them way. Thanks for the lecture pops, but I fight for my friends.

3 years of evening whiplashs and being forcefed spaghetti from the naval of an old man? That's the most ridiculous punishment I have ever heard of... But punishment will have to wait. There's pirates afoot!

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That's what I see btw. See that neat pirate ship in the background? Yea...I can't either. Let's get those pirates though, team! Gatrie, you just hang out. Shinon, you too. I need a good solid Rate the Unit thread to tell me if you're worth my time or not! Gatrie, start walking. Hopefully, you'll make it to the enemy axes. Wait. Why did they give me a big dumpy lance to take on the axes. No way you're that awesome...are you?

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Change the Graphics plug-in to OpenGL to get rid of the boxes on peoples faces, use F9 for screencaps. I'm about to start a Story-Analysis Lets Play of Radiant Dawn so I've been prepping a 'Perfect POR Savefile'

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Change the Graphics plug-in to OpenGL to get rid of the boxes on peoples faces, use F9 for screencaps.

This freezes the entire program. I'll stick with Direct3D9

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Say, which version of Dolphin are you using?

I might be using an older version; so I might make the version switch soon.

Also; give me a buzz when you reach C10 and beyond; and I'll begin taking a look at the chaos and ready my fanboy sequence

Edited by Frostbite

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Version 4771.

And my frames are set to 50

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This freezes the entire program. I'll stick with Direct3D9

ah, try changing the Internal Resolution. at 1x I found that the boxes disappeared

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You can also try a couple other rendering plugins. I don't remember the one I used, but I can check if you don't find one.

There was also a suggestion for fixing the sound emulation... but I forget what it was D:

(and where I heard about it at)

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Thx for the advice~

As it turns out, my sound works very well, even if the screen is lagging behind. The internal resolution ended up chopping out the entire background, leaving me with the cursor box, menus, and units.

I have no idea why that happened >:(

But CR, you know how much I like monocles...it's not that bad, and it only shows up during conversation dialogues, not on the units avatars midbattle.

(battle animations are off btw. They slow things down, and I have seen enough of RD to know that they are flashy).

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Ah, that's good about your sound then. Most people end up having a problem where the music fails to stream in properly, leaving you only with the ambient and menu sound effects.

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Change the Graphics plug-in to OpenGL...

Sir... I'd say "What the hell are you smoking?", but I understand that different settings yield different/better results for different computers. I'd would just like to ask you to be aware of it as well.

My character portraits have no boxes, and I'm using Direct3D9/Direct3D11.

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Your FPS is terrifying. Is this even playable?

I laughed when Ike died. It's goddamn easy modo. Also thanks to it being easy modo, Shinon is worth your time as is mostly everyone else. By my recollection, EM Gatrie doubles.

Do you know how to get Stefan? You should, since otherwise you can't give Kieran the Vague Katti.

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Your FPS is terrifying. Is this even playable?

I laughed when Ike died. It's goddamn easy modo. Also thanks to it being easy modo, Shinon is worth your time as is mostly everyone else. By my recollection, EM Gatrie doubles.

Do you know how to get Stefan? You should, since otherwise you can't give Kieran the Vague Katti.

My FPS is, but surprisingly, gameplay isn't slowed very much at all.

And about Ike dying; I honestly figured he could dodge one of 6 hits (after healing). Obviously I was wrong.

I dislike Soren btw. I plan on killing him off.

And Gatrie does double some things. Shinon doubles everything. Tits doubles everything SethStyle, and Boyd is doing boss. Shame that Oscar is getting the crap levels.

Edit-Stefan...all I know is you have to pay for him.

Edited by Elieson

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I dislike Soren btw. I plan on killing him off.

:angry: Just dont use him then.

Gatrie doubles junk in easy mode with iron weapons.

Edit-Stefan...all I know is you have to pay for him.

No you dont. You just have to take Lethe or Mordy and put either one of them on a very discreet square in the desert chapter. You dont pay shit for him. (and he gives you a free Occult scroll later!)

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Sir... I'd say "What the hell are you smoking?", but I understand that different settings yield different/better results for different computers. I'd would just like to ask you to be aware of it as well.

My character portraits have no boxes, and I'm using Direct3D9/Direct3D11.

I Know Rey, I uses D3D11 for FE9/10 emulation as well, with Internal Resolution set to 2x, but I also have a relatively new computer (Almost a year)

Edited by Onmi

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What you missed from Chapter 3!

[spoiler=Because pictures are worth 1000 words, that I don't wanna type right now]

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[spoiler=Old men have subliminally perverted messages!]

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Chapter 4

Roadside Battle

I wonder if I'll be battling on the side of a road. If I'm battling on the actual road, I'll be so fucking pissed.

________________

Soren's back! And he brings news of...War? Crimea and Daein are at war? Well, that's how Mercenaries get hired for the big time, amirite ladies and gents?

Let's have a vote. All those who want to fight in the war, say Aye.

Titania-Aye

All against?

Soren-Nay

Hmm, Dad, what do you think?

Griel- Let's scout the situation. Ike, I know you are kinda new to this fighting thing, so I'm putting you in charge and full responsibility of all this stuff is on you. Good job! Shinon, Gatrie, Rhys, everyone, go with him. Listen to the green noobie. Trust me on this.

Me- Fuck. Yea.

Mist- Bro, before you go. I got this new kickass sword for you. Dad got it for a surprise for you, but you know how I love being a little bitch and blaming it on you, so here you go!

Me- Uhh...Cool Thanks.

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Well, fighting begins. Everything seems to be going well. Gatrie, go pwn shit. Titania, stay back and protect Rhys. D'aw fuck, you failed to protect Rhys. Restart.

Well, fighting begins. Everything seems to be going well. Gatrie, go pwn shit. Titania, stay back and protect Rhys. Good job Titania! You can have a hearty handshake for your services, considering you just slaughtered your previous employers for bread and salted meat. Wait. What's this? Bloodstain on the battlefield? It couldn't be. How could I possibly have overlooked this terrible tragedy, and clicked the save button after concluding the battle. It just. Can't. Be.

I Didn't level up Titania after the bosskill...Oh, and in case you were wondering Soren died. I never have to listen to his bitching little "I don't care about the world, I care about me and you and us" mentality.

Me: What? He didn't die? Shut up Narrator, I'll argue with you if I damn well please.

Me: What?

Me: No, I didn't eat your pudding cup.

Me: What do you mean the disco ball isn't working?

Me: Oh hell, fine. I give in.

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Soren. You're now demot...umm, Premoted to "Intelligence Officer". You can now bark orders and sit on the sidelines, while I do all the work and make all the major decisions in spite of what you say. Deal?

Soren: Anything for you, Ike.

Me: Good.

Now, what could this be...I hear rustling. I don't know what it is. But whatever it is, I HAVE TO DUEL IT!

Wait. A Woman? A Green haired, fancily dressed, woman?

Chapter 5

Flight

What? Flight? I get Fliers? Oh Hell yea. Time for the obligatory early game flying unit!

________________

But first, Holy Flaming Nutsacks. This chick is the Princess of Crimea [River]. Dad, is this bitch trippin balls?

She isn't?

Oh snap. Well, I think we should let her give us a "handsome" reward for saving her fine as...doing the right thing, right Father?

Wait. First, tell us your story, "Princess".

Mmhmm. Yea. Mmmhmm. FUCK I HIT THE Z BUTTON. GIMME A SEC

ikeelincia.th.jpgElincia and Ike. I'd like to add right here, that none of this artwork is officially mine. Google helped me find it, simply by typing in "Ike Fire Emblem Funny". I don't claim any of this artwork as my own. The screenshots are purely mine, though.

Ok, back. Alright, where were we. Ok, you apparently were born in secret. You're parents are dead...wait, the King and Queen are dead. Crap. Who did it? Ashnard --OXNARD PIC--. This cannot stand. It just....she wants to go to Gallia? Sure. Never heard of it, but let's go!

Doo dee doo dee doo. Let's take a break in this old castle. It can't be dangerous. Not like the people out there who killed the fucking KING AND QUEEN are trying to...I dunno, find Elincia.

First. I hear nothing. That must mean, there's something. I don't know what is out there, but whoever it is.

Team: I HAVE TO DUEL IT!

--Que Fight Scene--

Ike takes the entire western mob all by himself, and the rest do their job to overtake the south. Unfortunatly, there are 3 survivors by the time the chapter ends. They are all archers.

Wait. What's this? Someone is missing. Rhys? Rhys, where are you? RHYS?

WWRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

wait....

RRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

AND I SAVED AFTER THE BATTLE ENDED!!! GODDAMMIT!

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Fuck, Rhys died. Maybe he'll get a second chance.

Me: Narrorator, is that possible?

Narrorator: No, Ike. You've been mean to me. You don't get any more teammates to chillax in the backseat. Keep it up, and I won't even give your sister a 2nd chance. I don't care if it fucks with the story. You deserve it for yelling at me.

Me: I'm sorry narrator...I promise I'll be good from now on.

Narrorator: Fine fine. You still don't get Rhys back. You overwrote him with a big blank square where his name would normally be.

Me: This is Terribad. TERRRIIIBBBAAADDD!!!!

And to make things better, I saved but I skipped the entire post-battle conversation. Fuck me in the ass! Onto chapter 6

Chapter 6

A Brief Diversion

Better be brief. I prefer boxers myself though.

ikelaugh.th.jpgI made a funny!

________________

Heading into Gallia hmm? I wasn't paying attention dad, sorry. Fill me in. What did I miss?

Shinon bitching? Check.

Gatrie being slow and complaining? Check.

Oscar's blind? Holy fuck when did that happen?

Boyd is a big whiny crybaby? Yea, I know.

Rhys is dead. I know Dad, I know.

Soren is hot? Geez, he's wearing all black on a hot humid day. Can you please take a few people away from me!

You want me to take Titania and Oscar and Boyd and Soren and Rhys? AND MIST AND ROLF AND THE PRINCESS?! Rhys is dead, pops. Soren is our "intelligence officer", but he can't fight. I don't mind this fine piece of royalty though. I mean. She is royalty, and being royal is just. fine.

Plan? Sneak? Ok. Let's go Splinter Cell this forest and get those bad guys by the river. Let's go "sneak through the river" to the Gallia castle.

Wait. There's only like. 14 of them. There's 4 of us that can fight. What the hell are we doing sneaking around for?

CHARGE!!! FULL SPEED AHEAD!!! I WANT THEM TO KNOW THE NAME OF THE GREIL MERCENARIES!!!

Fightfightfight

killkillkill

winwinwin

I'm jus sayin, I'm made of win. Another like, 4 levels of Res and 3 of Mag here. I dunno why.

Edited by Elieson

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Locking here for Chapter 7-10

[spoiler=Click in here to see the Screenshots used for the next post]

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Edited by Elieson

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Wow that's... Impressive. Are you seriously accidentally saving or did you just kill two units and aren't resetting. I only ask because I honestly can't tell. And I honestly can't tell because Death Quotes have to be responded through, and especially Soren has a nice long one.

Edited by Onmi

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Soren's was long, I just paraphrased it.

and I'm kind of doing a quick pt, minimal resets. I am because I keep getting the key configuration mixed up or something...i keep hitting z over x and skipping over important things, or x over z and accidentally saving.

Mia dies on Ch8, for instance, and I reset because I have her 4 bexp levels, and I hate wasting resources. I'll get that in here soon though.

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This is easy mode, correct? How are your guys dying? :unsure:

Rhys with 0 defense will die, as will Soren.

Mia...I learned that she's not invulnerable to several lances at once, when at base~

It's not like I'm losing Boyd or Oscar or actually...good units. I'm just kinda speeding through without thinking twice.

Edited by Elieson

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This is great, but you're still pretty terrible at this game.

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