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SF's "Write Your Butt Off!" Writing Competition XIV


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Title: Walking with Pokemon

The world of Pokemon is full of many magnificent and terrifying creatures.

(Tyranitar roars)

These Pokemon surround us and impact our lives on a daily basis. We use them as labor, for food, and, of course, for Pokemon battling.

(two trainers face off; one has a Rattata, the other a Pidgey. The Pidgey blows sand at the Rattata, and moves in for the kill.)

And yet, we know so little of these creatures in their natural habitats. So many trainers merely walk through each route, never noticing the fascinating stories occurring right in the tall grass.

(images of Pokemon flash)

This program will aim to change this. We will go to the epicenter of the world of Pokemon, and observe them in their natural habitats. This is: Walking with Pokemon!

(Intro plays: Pikachu uses Thunderbolt. Tyranitar smashes Rhydon with its tail. Gyarados bursts from the deep. Weavile unsheathes its claws. Hydreigon flies towards the camera, using Dragon Pulse. In the fires, the title appears: WALKING WITH POKEMON. Fade out, as the title of the episode appears: “Pikachu Migration”.)

(Camerea flies over lush forest)
This is Viridian Forest. The largest forest in the Kanto region, it is home to many weird and wonderful Pokemon.

(Camera zooms through trees, coming to rest on Pikachu)

And this is perhaps the most unique denizen of this forest of all: Pikachu. Pikachu may appear to be weak, but it has a secret weapon: its electricity. Pikachu’s fur is specially designed to conduct electricity, giving it the ability to deliver devastating electric shocks to smaller Pokemon. And in this forest…

(Beedrill flies up, Pikachu shocks it with Thundershock)

Defense is vital.

(More Pikachu come out of the undergrowth, surrounding the first)

Pikachu travel in groups; there is safety in numbers. Their social structure is simple: the biggest and most mature male, called Raichu, is the leader. Despite their adorable appearance, Pikachu are carnivorous.

(Pikachu swarm over the Beedrill corpse, feasting on its fluids)

Their small, yet razor sharp teeth allow them to consume the insect population of this forest. Pikachu usually restrict themselves to weaker bug types, such as Caterpie and Weedle. This Beedrill is a lucky break, and will feed the group for months.

(booming footsteps, sound of trees crashing to the ground)

Their luck is not to last. Another, much bigger, predator has made itself an uninvited guest in the forest.

(Dragonite emerges from the undergrowth)

This is Dragonite, the fiercest predator of the Kanto region. Despite its draconic appearance, it is actually amphibious; those wings are for steering in the water. They are far too small to fly. However, these Pokemon usually stay around the water with their more serpentine young, Dratini and Dragonaire. This is unusually far inland.

(Dragonite roars, Pikachu recoils)

One possible explanation is that this Dragonite lost a struggle for a mate. Dragonite are extremely intelligent, and thus vengeful. The winner of one of their famed fights for love is unlikely to let the loser anywhere near his newfound mate.

(Dragonite uses Dragon Pulse, bringing trees down all around the Pikachu group)

Regardless of the reason, this Dragonite is bad news for the Pikachu. They simply cannot hope to defeat or compete with such a large predator. They will have to flee, or die. This journey will take them to the edges of the beautiful Kanto Region, where they will meet many fascinating Pokemon.

(montage of Pikachu, led by Raichu, moving out of the forest, across the plains- a group of Rattatas run past, as a flock of Pidgeys fly above; the Pikachu approach a cave)

This is Diglet’s cave. As the road north is blocked by Pewter City, this is the only way for wild Pokemon to reach the other side of the Kanto Region. It is through this cave that the Pikachu troop will have to go in order to reach safety, and a new home. However, it will be a perilous treck.

(Camera zooms into cave, Dugtrio emerges)

This is Dugtrio, an ambush predator. It is an expert at digging, able to move through the earth as if it is swimming. It will emerge from soil at inescapable speeds, using its strong beak to capture its prey. Although it may appear to have three heads, the other two are diversions, designed to confuse its less intelligent prey.

(Dugtrio submerges itself into the ground)

It has its eyes on the Pikachu.

(Raichu perks up)

However, these Pokemon will prove to be much more difficult prey than what Dugtrio is used to. Pikachu and Raichu are far more intelligent than Dugtrio’s usual prey, such as Rattata or Tangela. Raichu senses danger using its massive ears to pick up on the telltale signals Dugtrio leaves. It gives the signal to run.

(Pikachus scatter)

This creates a massive problem for Dugtrio. When under ground, it uses an advanced hearing system to locate its prey. Picking up on vibrations, it would normally be able to pinpoint the exact area to burst from the ground. However, due to the Pikachu troop on the move everywhere, Dugtrio is unable to identify a single position. In a panic, it bursts from the ground.

(Dugtrio does this, Raichu dodges)

The Raichu’s instincts have proved correct. Dugtrio has blown its cover, and, despite its speed, it cannot dig faster than Pikachu can run.

(Dugtrio continues the pursuit)

Vainly, Dugtrio continues to chase its prey. However, in doing so, it exits its cave, and enters a new area of vulnerability.

(Pikachu suddenly scatter, massive foot steps on Dugtrio)

This is Snorlax, one of the most successful species of Pokemon ever. Snorlax are known for being highly adaptable; they have been known to consume trees, grass, and even highly poisonous Pokemon such as Weezing. Their stomach is capable of extracting the nutrients from almost any substance, while discarding anything that could potentially be dangerous. It’s massive layer of fat shields it from most predators. In short, it is almost untouchable.

(Pikachu cautiously make their way through the grass)

Little Pokemon like Pikachu, however, are not so lucky. They have entered the Central Plains of Kanto, among the most diverse regions on the planet.

(Shot sweeping over the plains. A herd of Tauros drink from a watering hole, as a Pidgeot snatches up a Rattata. A Dodrio, meanwhile, chases after a Raticate.)

The Central Plains of Kanto extend from Vermillion City to Fuchsia City, and stretch up to surround Saffron and reach Cerulean. It is a hostile environment for the Pikachu; if they want to survive, they will have to be tough.

(Flash of red in the trees)

“Tough” is the very definition of these Pokemon: Arcanine. Arcanine are the apex predator of the Kanto region. They are as long as a car, with a strong bite to match. This pack has its sights on the herd of Tauros.

(cut to the Tauros)

Tauros are also deeply social Pokemon, and some of the most common Herbivores in Kanto. While their horns might look fearsome, they are built for battling other Tauros for mates.

(Arcanine pack growls, emerges from the undergrowth)

They are no match for an Arcanine.

(Tauros form up in a defensive formation)

The strong, male Tauros in their prime form a defensive wall around the females, called Miltank, as well as their young. Their horns are meant to intimidate the predators. Arcanine, however, is smart. It knows instinctively that Tauros’s aggressive instinct is far stronger than its paternal instinct. The herd has forced itself into a trap; they cannot move on without breaking formation.

(Arcanine maintain formation, while Tauros begin to get restless)

It is a standoff that Arcanine has won many times in the past, and will win many times in the future.

(Timelapse; as the sun is setting, one Tauros bellows, and the herd charges)

Yet again, Arcanine’s strategy has proven effective. They split up, flanking the Tauros herd.

(Arcanine pack splits into two groups)

All but one of the Tauros and Miltank will escape this slaughter. But one is all the Arcanine need for nourishment and the opportunity to live another day, and possibly pass on their genes.

(Arcanine jumps on Miltank, tearing out its throat)

Another successful hunt.

(Cut to the Pikachu taking shelter under bush)

Pikachu are extremely social creatures. Here, the lead Raichu is groomed by a female. She no doubt hopes to have offspring with him, giving them a better chance at survival in the long run.

(A larger Pikachu crouches in front of some smaller Pikachu)

This female is teaching her offspring to hunt. Young Pikachu do not have their fur fully grown, so their electricity abilities are not fully developed. Around half of them will not survive into adulthood, as they will ruthlessly compete for resources and the care of their mother. This is the state of affairs that has existed since Tyrantrum stalked the earth, and it will continue for a while longer.

(Pikachu rub together)

The Pikachu now partake in their most important act. In order to maintain their stores of electricity vital to their survival, they rub up against each other. Their fur vastly increases their static electricity stores, enabling them to use powerful attacks such as Thundershock on a regular basis.

(Cut to Raichu with Pichu)

However, something is about to happen that will change the pack forever. The Raichu here is monitoring his newborn Pichu. Pichu are the most primitive stage of the Pikachu family, and are very vulnerable.

(Three headed shadow looms over them)

This is Dodrio, a flightless flying type Pokemon of the Terror Bird family. Although it might appear to have three heads, in actuality this is a ruse used by Dodrio to confuse its prey. Only the center head boasts a brain.

(Raichu enters a fighting stance)

Although Raichu has a type advantage, its fur is almost out of static electricity. This is a battle it cannot win.

(Dodrio’s other head feints toward Raichu, Raichu attacks it)

Raichu has fallen for the Dodrio’s ruse hook, line, and sinker. Now, Dodrio moves in for the final blow.

(Dodrio strikes down with its central head, splitting Raichu’s skull. Brains fall out.)

Raichu, the troop’s leader, has fallen victim to a predator.

(Pichu runs behind the Pikachu, who squeak angrily but do nothing)

The Pikachu are powerless to stop the predator’s thin beak from pulling out Raichu’s vital organs. They move east towards the coast, their future uncertain.

(Establishing shot of Pikachu walking be sea)

Technically, the Raichu’s eldest son is the new leader of the group. However, his hold on power is tenuous at best. Ideally, he would have lived long enough to evolve. Now, he will have to contend with many potential pretenders. He needs an opportunity to prove himself.

(shot from under the water from POV of predator)

That opportunity is about to emerge.

(Gyarados bursts from water)

This is Gyarados, an apex predator. It ambushes its prey from the water, like these Pikachu. However, it has never met a Pikachu before.

(Pikachu steps forwards)

Gyarados is doubly weak to Pikachu’s Thunderbolt attack. It stands no chance.

(Gyarados is electrocuted by Thunderbolt)

The Pikachus are safe, and the new leader has proven himself.

(Pikachu group walks away, towards an unknown future)

The future of these Pikachu may seem uncertain, but Pikachu are remarkably adaptable creatures. They have reached a new forest, free of larger predators. Their future is, if not secure, at least no longer under attack. This, then, is where we leave them.

The End

Edited by blah the Prussian
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Title: Walking with Pokemon

The world of Pokemon is full of many magnificent and terrifying creatures.

(Tyranitar roars)

These Pokemon surround us and impact our lives on a daily basis. We use them as labor, for food, and, of course, for Pokemon battling.

(two trainers face off; one has a Rattata, the other a Pidgey. The Pidgey blows sand at the Rattata, and moves in for the kill.)

And yet, we know so little of these creatures in their natural habitats. So many trainers merely walk through each route, never noticing the fascinating stories occurring right in the tall grass.

(images of Pokemon flash)

This program will aim to change this. We will go to the epicenter of the world of Pokemon, and observe them in their natural habitats. This is: Walking with Pokemon!

(Intro plays: Pikachu uses Thunderbolt. Tyranitar smashes Rhydon with its tail. Gyarados bursts from the deep. Weavile unsheathes its claws. Hydreigon flies towards the camera, using Dragon Pulse. In the fires, the title appears: WALKING WITH POKEMON. Fade out, as the title of the episode appears: “Pikachu Migration”.)

(Camerea flies over lush forest)

This is Viridian Forest. The largest forest in the Kanto region, it is home to many weird and wonderful Pokemon.

(Camera zooms through trees, coming to rest on Pikachu)

And this is perhaps the most unique denizen of this forest of all: Pikachu. Pikachu may appear to be weak, but it has a secret weapon: its electricity. Pikachu’s fur is specially designed to conduct electricity, giving it the ability to deliver devastating electric shocks to smaller Pokemon. And in this forest…

(Beedrill flies up, Pikachu shocks it with Thundershock)

Defense is vital.

(More Pikachu come out of the undergrowth, surrounding the first)

Pikachu travel in groups; there is safety in numbers. Their social structure is simple: the biggest and most mature male, called Raichu, is the leader. Despite their adorable appearance, Pikachu are carnivorous.

(Pikachu swarm over the Beedrill corpse, feasting on its fluids)

Their small, yet razor sharp teeth allow them to consume the insect population of this forest. Pikachu usually restrict themselves to weaker bug types, such as Caterpie and Weedle. This Beedrill is a lucky break, and will feed the group for months.

(booming footsteps, sound of trees crashing to the ground)

Their luck is not to last. Another, much bigger, predator has made itself an uninvited guest in the forest.

(Dragonite emerges from the undergrowth)

This is Dragonite, the fiercest predator of the Kanto region. Despite its draconic appearance, it is actually amphibious; those wings are for steering in the water. They are far too small to fly. However, these Pokemon usually stay around the water with their more serpentine young, Dratini and Dragonaire. This is unusually far inland.

(Dragonite roars, Pikachu recoils)

One possible explanation is that this Dragonite lost a struggle for a mate. Dragonite are extremely intelligent, and thus vengeful. The winner of one of their famed fights for love is unlikely to let the loser anywhere near his newfound mate.

(Dragonite uses Dragon Pulse, bringing trees down all around the Pikachu group)

Regardless of the reason, this Dragonite is bad news for the Pikachu. They simply cannot hope to defeat or compete with such a large predator. They will have to flee, or die. This journey will take them to the edges of the beautiful Kanto Region, where they will meet many fascinating Pokemon.

(montage of Pikachu, led by Raichu, moving out of the forest, across the plains- a group of Rattatas run past, as a flock of Pidgeys fly above; the Pikachu approach a cave)

This is Diglet’s cave. As the road north is blocked by Pewter City, this is the only way for wild Pokemon to reach the other side of the Kanto Region. It is through this cave that the Pikachu troop will have to go in order to reach safety, and a new home. However, it will be a perilous treck.

(Camera zooms into cave, Dugtrio emerges)

This is Dugtrio, an ambush predator. It is an expert at digging, able to move through the earth as if it is swimming. It will emerge from soil at inescapable speeds, using its strong beak to capture its prey. Although it may appear to have three heads, the other two are diversions, designed to confuse its less intelligent prey.

(Dugtrio submerges itself into the ground)

It has its eyes on the Pikachu.

(Raichu perks up)

However, these Pokemon will prove to be much more difficult prey than what Dugtrio is used to. Pikachu and Raichu are far more intelligent than Dugtrio’s usual prey, such as Rattata or Tangela. Raichu senses danger using its massive ears to pick up on the telltale signals Dugtrio leaves. It gives the signal to run.

(Pikachus scatter)

This creates a massive problem for Dugtrio. When under ground, it uses an advanced hearing system to locate its prey. Picking up on vibrations, it would normally be able to pinpoint the exact area to burst from the ground. However, due to the Pikachu troop on the move everywhere, Dugtrio is unable to identify a single position. In a panic, it bursts from the ground.

(Dugtrio does this, Raichu dodges)

The Raichu’s instincts have proved correct. Dugtrio has blown its cover, and, despite its speed, it cannot dig faster than Pikachu can run.

(Dugtrio continues the pursuit)

Vainly, Dugtrio continues to chase its prey. However, in doing so, it exits its cave, and enters a new area of vulnerability.

(Pikachu suddenly scatter, massive foot steps on Dugtrio)

This is Snorlax, one of the most successful species of Pokemon ever. Snorlax are known for being highly adaptable; they have been known to consume trees, grass, and even highly poisonous Pokemon such as Weezing. Their stomach is capable of extracting the nutrients from almost any substance, while discarding anything that could potentially be dangerous. It’s massive layer of fat shields it from most predators. In short, it is almost untouchable.

(Pikachu cautiously make their way through the grass)

Little Pokemon like Pikachu, however, are not so lucky. They have entered the Central Plains of Kanto, among the most diverse regions on the planet.

(Shot sweeping over the plains. A herd of Tauros drink from a watering hole, as a Pidgeot snatches up a Rattata. A Dodrio, meanwhile, chases after a Raticate.)

The Central Plains of Kanto extend from Vermillion City to Fuchsia City, and stretch up to surround Saffron and reach Cerulean. It is a hostile environment for the Pikachu; if they want to survive, they will have to be tough.

(Flash of red in the trees)

“Tough” is the very definition of these Pokemon: Arcanine. Arcanine are the apex predator of the Kanto region. They are as long as a car, with a strong bite to match. This pack has its sights on the herd of Tauros.

(cut to the Tauros)

Tauros are also deeply social Pokemon, and some of the most common Herbivores in Kanto. While their horns might look fearsome, they are built for battling other Tauros for mates.

(Arcanine pack growls, emerges from the undergrowth)

They are no match for an Arcanine.

(Tauros form up in a defensive formation)

The strong, male Tauros in their prime form a defensive wall around the females, called Miltank, as well as their young. Their horns are meant to intimidate the predators. Arcanine, however, is smart. It knows instinctively that Tauros’s aggressive instinct is far stronger than its paternal instinct. The herd has forced itself into a trap; they cannot move on without breaking formation.

(Arcanine maintain formation, while Tauros begin to get restless)

It is a standoff that Arcanine has won many times in the past, and will win many times in the future.

(Timelapse; as the sun is setting, one Tauros bellows, and the herd charges)

Yet again, Arcanine’s strategy has proven effective. They split up, flanking the Tauros herd.

(Arcanine pack splits into two groups)

All but one of the Tauros and Miltank will escape this slaughter. But one is all the Arcanine need for nourishment and the opportunity to live another day, and possibly pass on their genes.

(Arcanine jumps on Miltank, tearing out its throat)

Another successful hunt.

(Cut to the Pikachu taking shelter under bush)

Pikachu are extremely social creatures. Here, the lead Raichu is groomed by a female. She no doubt hopes to have offspring with him, giving them a better chance at survival in the long run.

(A larger Pikachu crouches in front of some smaller Pikachu)

This female is teaching her offspring to hunt. Young Pikachu do not have their fur fully grown, so their electricity abilities are not fully developed. Around half of them will not survive into adulthood, as they will ruthlessly compete for resources and the care of their mother. This is the state of affairs that has existed since Tyrantrum stalked the earth, and it will continue for a while longer.

(Pikachu rub together)

The Pikachu now partake in their most important act. In order to maintain their stores of electricity vital to their survival, they rub up against each other. Their fur vastly increases their static electricity stores, enabling them to use powerful attacks such as Thundershock on a regular basis.

(Cut to Raichu with Pichu)

However, something is about to happen that will change the pack forever. The Raichu here is monitoring his newborn Pichu. Pichu are the most primitive stage of the Pikachu family, and are very vulnerable.

(Three headed shadow looms over them)

This is Dodrio, a flightless flying type Pokemon of the Terror Bird family. Although it might appear to have three heads, in actuality this is a ruse used by Dodrio to confuse its prey. Only the center head boasts a brain.

(Raichu enters a fighting stance)

Although Raichu has a type advantage, its fur is almost out of static electricity. This is a battle it cannot win.

(Dodrio’s other head feints toward Raichu, Raichu attacks it)

Raichu has fallen for the Dodrio’s ruse hook, line, and sinker. Now, Dodrio moves in for the final blow.

(Dodrio strikes down with its central head, splitting Raichu’s skull. Brains fall out.)

Raichu, the troop’s leader, has fallen victim to a predator.

(Pichu runs behind the Pikachu, who squeak angrily but do nothing)

The Pikachu are powerless to stop the predator’s thin beak from pulling out Raichu’s vital organs. They move east towards the coast, their future uncertain.

(Establishing shot of Pikachu walking be sea)

Technically, the Raichu’s eldest son is the new leader of the group. However, his hold on power is tenuous at best. Ideally, he would have lived long enough to evolve. Now, he will have to contend with many potential pretenders. He needs an opportunity to prove himself.

(shot from under the water from POV of predator)

That opportunity is about to emerge.

(Gyarados bursts from water)

This is Gyarados, an apex predator. It ambushes its prey from the water, like these Pikachu. However, it has never met a Pikachu before.

(Pikachu steps forwards)

Gyarados is doubly weak to Pikachu’s Thunderbolt attack. It stands no chance.

(Gyarados is electrocuted by Thunderbolt)

The Pikachus are safe, and the new leader has proven himself.

(Pikachu group walks away, towards an unknown future)

The future of these Pikachu may seem uncertain, but Pikachu are remarkably adaptable creatures. They have reached a new forest, free of larger predators. Their future is, if not secure, at least no longer under attack. This, then, is where we leave them.

The End

So after declaring I intend to give some form of critique to every story you present, you give me this...A script for a show heavily based on the visuals...Keeps the job interesting I suppose.

I don't believe he has anything to do with the Waling With series but I couldn't help reading the entire thing with David Attenborough's voice in mind and that worked exceedingly well. Seemed quite a lot like one of his documentaries (speaking of which Planet Earth II has just finished broadcasting. It's pretty awesome). Despite being a script, it was pretty easy to to envision the environments (though, obviously, knowing what the pokemon look like is a bit of a prerequisite). Bit of a minor faux pas but one that's repeated. You use the term social creatures (or pokemon) to describe both the Tauros and Pikachu in quick succession. Apex predator is also used to describe both Arcanine and Gyrados not long after each other. And the description for Dugtrio and Dotrio's decoy heads is virtually the same (which actually wouldn't be all that big an issue if the narration highlighted the fact). They're minor things but collectively they do stand out and take me out of the experience.

The scene with the Arcanine was good but it kind of stands out by being the only non Pikachu segment in the story. I think it would benefit by having one or two more. The ending encounter with the Gryados was also a bit too brief. Was sort of over before it had even begun. Though I'm not sure what could be done to meaningfully extend it (maybe focus on the Gyrados' hunts for a while before pitching the two against each other?). All in all an interesting experiment and an enjoyable read. Would like to see it coupled with some visuals (and a good David Attenborough impersonater. That is crucial).

So unless Snowy (or someone else) uploads something in the next few days, you'll probably win this one by default. Dead line was two days ago as it is. Though I suppose with Christmas and the Scribbles contest we could let this one hang for a while longer yet.

Edited by Jotari
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Something coming soon (basically letting you know I'm editing in the story into this post).

[spoiler=Goldstreet Cleric]"I hate life."

It was a complaint heard far too often by the young priestess known as Christine. It was coming from one of the most expected places of all as well from her short experience. Ever since she had graduated from the chapel as a full-on cleric she had been doing her best to serve the gods. For many this was continuing on in service to the divines in the churches, temples, chapels, and cathedrals, or to head out as a member of the adventuring groups, but Christine had chosen something she had seen as more humble. Situated now in the slums of a city, nestled among the major streets, she had set up shop as a... she wasn't sure what to call it. She wasn't some grand cleric, master of the mind, or trying to bring people in to worship. No. She was just trying to help those whom needed help, free of charge, and for now, that took shape in the form of a young man, seemingly a year older than her, sitting down upon her chair in the small 'shop' she had as, outside, she could see at least two other people waiting; a dwarf and someone special.

"I mean, what's the point really? I'm no warrior, someone chosen by the gods, or anything like that sort of bollocks. You're a cleric so I don't think you really get it, do you? I mean, when the goblins come a-knocken you've got all them fancy holy powers and the like to drive them off. Common folk like me? We're nothing but fodder. Maybe if I get a pitchfork or something I can stab one but... what's the point? I wake up and it's just.... UGGG! My body is in pain constantly, I feel sick from having to work on harvesting the grains all day, and I have to pinch my gold just to buy a new set of clothes because the moment anyone comes by it's just gone. Monsters? If they don't steal the coin I have to spend it repairing and replacing. Heroes? Almost as destructive and they always expect something for helping me out. I mean, sure, I'm greatful and all, but do they seriously think a guy like me has something of actual value for them? They raid my cupboards, take the healing potions I need because of all the damned monsters and sun, any time I try to buy a weapon or piece of armor to protect myself they take that too. Worst of all, I've seen the gear that they carry. They've got no use for a discount iron sword! Hell, I once marked a sword and, when I eventually went to try and buy a new one, I saw the exact same sword for sale! The heroes didn't need it. Just some petty cash and I had to buy my weapon twice. I hate my life! I feel like I'm not even a background character in someone elses tale but, rather, just some dumb footnote that not even I remember because I've been footnoted so many times."

Christine gave a small grimace as she sat down next to him, her hand going to pat him on the back. "I see. That must hurt a lot. Feeling like nothing and that your life is so meaningless. I'm sure I don't understand your pain."

"You're damned right you don't! You clerics get bread as donations! Made from the wheat I had to grow while dodging goblin arrows."

"Aye. Tis true. But, alas, I am but a single person. Surely there must be some reason you're hear though. You know full well that I hold no power to guard you, am but an acolyte and hold no voice to change much, and cannot return the gold you have lost."

"I... I know that. I just... I need to... I don't know..." he said, clearly a bit frustrated. "I mean... I don't know what I want."

"Well..." she stood up from her chair as she moved in front of him, her hands aglow with the divine light as she placed them on his shoulders. "Let's start with easing these aches and pains. I know it is not why you have come but such a thing is always a blessing."

"I know. That's... part of the problem you see. People like you, it would be so... easy if you didn't exist."

"Easy to what? Hate everything?"

"Yes! I mean, no. I mean, maybe? Like, I hate what happens when anyone comes by cause it's always bad luck, but then some heroes, they come through. They drive the goblins off and don't raid my kitchen for moldy bread and... well... I don't have to give them gold or anything. You know, the good lot."

"Aye. A troublesome lot are we. Making your resentment difficult." she asked as her hand cupped his chin as more healing magic flowed into him. "If I may, I think I know why you're hear."

"Yea."

"You hate me. You know clerics like me accompany such heroes but you dare not say it to a group armed to the teeth, out in public where you will suffer rebukes, or anything of the sort. You hate me and the kind of person I represent, but you don't hate me. You want to know it's all for something and the fact that you seem to mean nothing hurts you more than any weapon or spell." She knew she could have worded that better, but she felt that the underlying statement was true.

"I... Guess..." he said with a sigh. "I just... I feel..."

Christine took a step back as she moved to the farther reaches of the shop and picked up something small. She then slowly returned back to him.

"I feel... like... Nothing."

"I know." she said as she knelt down and offered him what she had picked up. It wasn't much to many, but to this man, maybe it would matter the whole world.

"This letter is a request for aid. Not of the militaristic nature but of a church a town-over that is low in supplies. It needs many things and, to the person who can fulfill those needs, it is willing to offer whatever it can. Your aid is needed and this is a chance to become more than a meaningless being and to find a purpose in life. I don't know if it's what you need but, I hope, it's a step in the right direction."

The man picked up the small letter, opening it and reading its contents before he closed it and nodded before sighing. Christine noted that it seemed like a sigh of relief as opposed to resignation.

"Maybe. I might be back, I might not, I don't know. Just... Well."

"You know many will tell you to let your hate go, so I will not tell you the same. You already know that. I hope that this, however, will give you a future and a chance to become more and, in doing so, you will let go of that hate."

"Aye. Maybe... Thank you cleric." he said as he slowly stood up and made his way out. As he left Christine quickly followed before pointing to the dwarf. The dwarf gave a grin before coming on inside.

"So, what ails you my dwarven friend?" she asked happily as she moved over to her chair.

"Well, I just wanna be sure, you're the girl who was saying she'd help with any problem, right? For free?" he asked as he looked about, trying to ensure no one else was inside, somehow missing the man whom he had been sitting right beside before.

"Yes. That is the gist of things. If you have a problem I try to help you overcome it. Free of charge."

"Well, the thing is..." he said as his hand moved down lower. "I have a problem. It's me ****! It's so huge I have to bundle it on up!" he said as he dropped his pants. "A warlock cursed it and he said the only way to get it back to normal was for someone to heal it!"

Christine's eyes went wide in shock as she felt her stomach lurch a little bit, though she did her best to show no sign of being startled. "You said you'd help with any problem and I don't want to spend any coin on a prostitute, so, lass, get to work."

"You need a healing spell then?" she said, trying her best to remain calm. Keep calm. Keep calm. "Well... I know a curative spell that will fix that right on up."

"Aye! Good girl! And be sure it's a lay-on-hands type of spell! The curse be very peculiar!"

Christine gave a smile as she spread her arms out wide.

Three seconds later the door to the store smashed wide open as the dwarf, doing his best to pull his pants on up in a hurry, rushed away as fast as his short legs would carry him before a blast of radiant fire bellowed forth and out into the streets, catching him in the rear and igniting his hair on fire.

"Oh! Won't you come back?" asked Christine as she followed him out in a slow walk with her hands alight with the divine flame. "You said you needed a touch spell." she said before casting another bout causing a small pillar of radiant flame to strike down in front of him. "I keep trying to make this spell connect to cure you of this problem but the curse seems to make you dodge any attempt of mine to cure it!" She cast her spell once more as, at last, he scampered far enough away. "Do come back sometime!"

With that she shook her head before turning to the third person. "I'm sorry about that Mr." she said to her third customer. She guestured for him to follow her inside.

"Miss Christine." he said simply as he followed her inside. "We have heard of you and what you're doing here."

"Aye. Trying to help those whom others have written off as a lost cause. I saw your flier as well. It said you were willing to welcome people like me."

"Well, missy, you see. That's sort of the problem. We don't put all our information in the flier. We try to interview the person first and, considering where you are, we'd have every reason to dismiss you."

Christine shrugged. "I know. It's a bad part of the town, but it's where I can do the most good. I'm really hoping you'll accept me though since I believe I can offer much. I especially am hoping you'll offer me some support in return. I could really use it."

"Well, let me hear a bit about you first. What are you like?"

"Too be honest I'm not the most overwhelming person in the world. I mean, we have so many heroes whom accomplished great deeds, so many people with dark and shady pasts, so many... idiots... I'm almost glad to say I'm doing my best to be, well, me. I was born on the outskirts, lived my life in the small towns while hoping to be a cleric. When the time came I applied, did my best, and here I am now. I don't want some grandiose title or cause, just to help people and have a close-knit group to do it with."

She then approached him a bit, seemingly looking him over. "Does that answer your question?"

"A bit, but I'm not sure you'd match. See, our order, the one you want to join, we operate a bit on the... shadier... side of the law."

"But you said you wanted to help people."

"That is true. Just, we help people in ways the law really doesn't approve of. Outcasts, people who do the wrong thing for the right reasons or the right thing for the wrong reasons, that sort of thing. I myself-"

"Wait. Hold on. Before you tell me let me pull up a chair." she said with a sigh as she sat down in the chair that, naught but a few moments prior, the farmer had held. "Go on. Let me hear it. About how your group is persecuted, misunderstood and the like."

"I'm not sure I like that tone of voice, but I will forgive you this once. You see-"

Suddenly a gaggled of elven folk started to gather up by the shop. Christine's eyes seemed to go wide for a second before they quickly opened the door and swarmed on in. All were naked, all were getting everywhere. They jumped up upon the tables and started dancing, they jumped up in front of her face, standing on the chair, before making thrusting motions with their hips as Christine's vision became nothing more than a sea of naked elven flesh.

"I'll talk to you in about an hour." she said to the man as the chatter and clamor of the elven men and women grew. It got louder and louder, so loud that she couldn't hear or see anything at all!

/logout

He sighed as he pushed himself away from his computer, rubbing his temples as the game returned to the character select screen with Christine's avatar calmly waiting for him to pick her again.

"What the hell is wrong with these people? I'm gonna get some dinner and watch an episode of Steven Universe and I'll come back then. Seriously... It's a roleplay SERVER! Let people roleplay!" he mumbled as he got up and headed off to the fridge.

This is based on my experiences trying to roleplay a priest on the Moon Guard server in WoW. The incidents were actually pretty spot-on in regards to what happened, though not all at once. No. I didn't join that guild. I wasn't 'good enough material' to be an anti-hero. They could have mentioned that in their ad that that was what they were going for.

Edited by Snowy_One
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Something coming soon (basically letting you know I'm editing in the story into this post).

[spoiler=Goldstreet Cleric]"I hate life."

It was a complaint heard far too often by the young priestess known as Christine. It was coming from one of the most expected places of all as well from her short experience. Ever since she had graduated from the chapel as a full-on cleric she had been doing her best to serve the gods. For many this was continuing on in service to the divines in the churches, temples, chapels, and cathedrals, or to head out as a member of the adventuring groups, but Christine had chosen something she had seen as more humble. Situated now in the slums of a city, nestled among the major streets, she had set up shop as a... she wasn't sure what to call it. She wasn't some grand cleric, master of the mind, or trying to bring people in to worship. No. She was just trying to help those whom needed help, free of charge, and for now, that took shape in the form of a young man, seemingly a year older than her, sitting down upon her chair in the small 'shop' she had as, outside, she could see at least two other people waiting; a dwarf and someone special.

"I mean, what's the point really? I'm no warrior, someone chosen by the gods, or anything like that sort of bollocks. You're a cleric so I don't think you really get it, do you? I mean, when the goblins come a-knocken you've got all them fancy holy powers and the like to drive them off. Common folk like me? We're nothing but fodder. Maybe if I get a pitchfork or something I can stab one but... what's the point? I wake up and it's just.... UGGG! My body is in pain constantly, I feel sick from having to work on harvesting the grains all day, and I have to pinch my gold just to buy a new set of clothes because the moment anyone comes by it's just gone. Monsters? If they don't steal the coin I have to spend it repairing and replacing. Heroes? Almost as destructive and they always expect something for helping me out. I mean, sure, I'm greatful and all, but do they seriously think a guy like me has something of actual value for them? They raid my cupboards, take the healing potions I need because of all the damned monsters and sun, any time I try to buy a weapon or piece of armor to protect myself they take that too. Worst of all, I've seen the gear that they carry. They've got no use for a discount iron sword! Hell, I once marked a sword and, when I eventually went to try and buy a new one, I saw the exact same sword for sale! The heroes didn't need it. Just some petty cash and I had to buy my weapon twice. I hate my life! I feel like I'm not even a background character in someone elses tale but, rather, just some dumb footnote that not even I remember because I've been footnoted so many times."

Christine gave a small grimace as she sat down next to him, her hand going to pat him on the back. "I see. That must hurt a lot. Feeling like nothing and that your life is so meaningless. I'm sure I don't understand your pain."

"You're damned right you don't! You clerics get bread as donations! Made from the wheat I had to grow while dodging goblin arrows."

"Aye. Tis true. But, alas, I am but a single person. Surely there must be some reason you're hear though. You know full well that I hold no power to guard you, am but an acolyte and hold no voice to change much, and cannot return the gold you have lost."

"I... I know that. I just... I need to... I don't know..." he said, clearly a bit frustrated. "I mean... I don't know what I want."

"Well..." she stood up from her chair as she moved in front of him, her hands aglow with the divine light as she placed them on his shoulders. "Let's start with easing these aches and pains. I know it is not why you have come but such a thing is always a blessing."

"I know. That's... part of the problem you see. People like you, it would be so... easy if you didn't exist."

"Easy to what? Hate everything?"

"Yes! I mean, no. I mean, maybe? Like, I hate what happens when anyone comes by cause it's always bad luck, but then some heroes, they come through. They drive the goblins off and don't raid my kitchen for moldy bread and... well... I don't have to give them gold or anything. You know, the good lot."

"Aye. A troublesome lot are we. Making your resentment difficult." she asked as her hand cupped his chin as more healing magic flowed into him. "If I may, I think I know why you're hear."

"Yea."

"You hate me. You know clerics like me accompany such heroes but you dare not say it to a group armed to the teeth, out in public where you will suffer rebukes, or anything of the sort. You hate me and the kind of person I represent, but you don't hate me. You want to know it's all for something and the fact that you seem to mean nothing hurts you more than any weapon or spell." She knew she could have worded that better, but she felt that the underlying statement was true.

"I... Guess..." he said with a sigh. "I just... I feel..."

Christine took a step back as she moved to the farther reaches of the shop and picked up something small. She then slowly returned back to him.

"I feel... like... Nothing."

"I know." she said as she knelt down and offered him what she had picked up. It wasn't much to many, but to this man, maybe it would matter the whole world.

"This letter is a request for aid. Not of the militaristic nature but of a church a town-over that is low in supplies. It needs many things and, to the person who can fulfill those needs, it is willing to offer whatever it can. Your aid is needed and this is a chance to become more than a meaningless being and to find a purpose in life. I don't know if it's what you need but, I hope, it's a step in the right direction."

The man picked up the small letter, opening it and reading its contents before he closed it and nodded before sighing. Christine noted that it seemed like a sigh of relief as opposed to resignation.

"Maybe. I might be back, I might not, I don't know. Just... Well."

"You know many will tell you to let your hate go, so I will not tell you the same. You already know that. I hope that this, however, will give you a future and a chance to become more and, in doing so, you will let go of that hate."

"Aye. Maybe... Thank you cleric." he said as he slowly stood up and made his way out. As he left Christine quickly followed before pointing to the dwarf. The dwarf gave a grin before coming on inside.

"So, what ails you my dwarven friend?" she asked happily as she moved over to her chair.

"Well, I just wanna be sure, you're the girl who was saying she'd help with any problem, right? For free?" he asked as he looked about, trying to ensure no one else was inside, somehow missing the man whom he had been sitting right beside before.

"Yes. That is the gist of things. If you have a problem I try to help you overcome it. Free of charge."

"Well, the thing is..." he said as his hand moved down lower. "I have a problem. It's me ****! It's so huge I have to bundle it on up!" he said as he dropped his pants. "A warlock cursed it and he said the only way to get it back to normal was for someone to heal it!"

Christine's eyes went wide in shock as she felt her stomach lurch a little bit, though she did her best to show no sign of being startled. "You said you'd help with any problem and I don't want to spend any coin on a prostitute, so, lass, get to work."

"You need a healing spell then?" she said, trying her best to remain calm. Keep calm. Keep calm. "Well... I know a curative spell that will fix that right on up."

"Aye! Good girl! And be sure it's a lay-on-hands type of spell! The curse be very peculiar!"

Christine gave a smile as she spread her arms out wide.

Three seconds later the door to the store smashed wide open as the dwarf, doing his best to pull his pants on up in a hurry, rushed away as fast as his short legs would carry him before a blast of radiant fire bellowed forth and out into the streets, catching him in the rear and igniting his hair on fire.

"Oh! Won't you come back?" asked Christine as she followed him out in a slow walk with her hands alight with the divine flame. "You said you needed a touch spell." she said before casting another bout causing a small pillar of radiant flame to strike down in front of him. "I keep trying to make this spell connect to cure you of this problem but the curse seems to make you dodge any attempt of mine to cure it!" She cast her spell once more as, at last, he scampered far enough away. "Do come back sometime!"

With that she shook her head before turning to the third person. "I'm sorry about that Mr." she said to her third customer. She guestured for him to follow her inside.

"Miss Christine." he said simply as he followed her inside. "We have heard of you and what you're doing here."

"Aye. Trying to help those whom others have written off as a lost cause. I saw your flier as well. It said you were willing to welcome people like me."

"Well, missy, you see. That's sort of the problem. We don't put all our information in the flier. We try to interview the person first and, considering where you are, we'd have every reason to dismiss you."

Christine shrugged. "I know. It's a bad part of the town, but it's where I can do the most good. I'm really hoping you'll accept me though since I believe I can offer much. I especially am hoping you'll offer me some support in return. I could really use it."

"Well, let me hear a bit about you first. What are you like?"

"Too be honest I'm not the most overwhelming person in the world. I mean, we have so many heroes whom accomplished great deeds, so many people with dark and shady pasts, so many... idiots... I'm almost glad to say I'm doing my best to be, well, me. I was born on the outskirts, lived my life in the small towns while hoping to be a cleric. When the time came I applied, did my best, and here I am now. I don't want some grandiose title or cause, just to help people and have a close-knit group to do it with."

She then approached him a bit, seemingly looking him over. "Does that answer your question?"

"A bit, but I'm not sure you'd match. See, our order, the one you want to join, we operate a bit on the... shadier... side of the law."

"But you said you wanted to help people."

"That is true. Just, we help people in ways the law really doesn't approve of. Outcasts, people who do the wrong thing for the right reasons or the right thing for the wrong reasons, that sort of thing. I myself-"

"Wait. Hold on. Before you tell me let me pull up a chair." she said with a sigh as she sat down in the chair that, naught but a few moments prior, the farmer had held. "Go on. Let me hear it. About how your group is persecuted, misunderstood and the like."

"I'm not sure I like that tone of voice, but I will forgive you this once. You see-"

Suddenly a gaggled of elven folk started to gather up by the shop. Christine's eyes seemed to go wide for a second before they quickly opened the door and swarmed on in. All were naked, all were getting everywhere. They jumped up upon the tables and started dancing, they jumped up in front of her face, standing on the chair, before making thrusting motions with their hips as Christine's vision became nothing more than a sea of naked elven flesh.

"I'll talk to you in about an hour." she said to the man as the chatter and clamor of the elven men and women grew. It got louder and louder, so loud that she couldn't hear or see anything at all!

/logout

He sighed as he pushed himself away from his computer, rubbing his temples as the game returned to the character select screen with Christine's avatar calmly waiting for him to pick her again.

"What the hell is wrong with these people? I'm gonna get some dinner and watch an episode of Steven Universe and I'll come back then. Seriously... It's a roleplay SERVER! Let people roleplay!" he mumbled as he got up and headed off to the fridge.

This is based on my experiences trying to roleplay a priest on the Moon Guard server in WoW. The incidents were actually pretty spot-on in regards to what happened, though not all at once. No. I didn't join that guild. I wasn't 'good enough material' to be an anti-hero. They could have mentioned that in their ad that that was what they were going for.

I liked the first half of this quite a bit but I felt it kind of lost focus in the second half (probably because you were basing it on a real life experience. As is commonly the case however, reality has no sense of narrative flow). And the ending just seem to come off as bizarre for what was a relatively grounded story (well grounded for being in a typical fantasy world). I also feel you focused a bit too much on dialogue (something I very easily find myself doing too). These are completely unknown characters for the reader so even if the paragraphs follow the logical rule of taking turns to represent who's speaking, it can still be confusing as the characters don't necessarily have their own distinct voice yet. I found this to be the case with the third customer. It didn't help much that we knew less about this order than Christine evidently does. Still though, interesting read, good work.

Now the question remains, should we open our two entires to voting or wait for a third?

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What happened with the third is that a bunch of 'RPers' found out I was, well, actually trying to RP with someone in one of the houses on the outskirts of Goldshire so they rallied the tavern... people... to swarm the home to troll us.

For the record, I put 'RPer's' in quotes because, honestly, those people are just messed up. It's one thing to roleplay sex, it's one thing to be bad at roleplay, it's one thing to be bad at roleplay and only roleplay sex. It's a completely different to go around jumping on tables and dancing while talking about how your Nelf is a futa with a 6' **** that can wriggle about like a hentai tentacle before jumping into bed with a Death Knight who ripped their own ***** off and replaced it with a horses and a gnome who is bringing sixty toys to the party in a room stuffed to the brim and beyond with a ton of other people doing the same stuff and actively trolling anyone who even tries to, well, do anything that isn't so depraved that even rule34 would tell it to get more modest.

Edited by Snowy_One
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  • 1 month later...

1. I think so.  Unfortunately, a certain nameless idiot mod who has entered this competition before deleted the poll, and can't get it back.

2. NO.  Scribbles must be something that isn't published anywhere else, including here.

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  • 2 weeks later...
1 hour ago, SoulWeaver said:

Who's on that list at the moment?

Probably me, sort of.

However, the back-end stuff is STILL going.  I swear Echoes will be released before that's done!  Regardless, the poll's still broken.

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On February 22, 2017 at 0:16 AM, eclipse said:

Probably me, sort of.

However, the back-end stuff is STILL going.  I swear Echoes will be released before that's done!  Regardless, the poll's still broken.

Ok, so what does that mean exactly? Just so I know.

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1 hour ago, SoulWeaver said:

Ok, so what does that mean exactly? Just so I know.

It means that I can't recreate the poll.  While the PM system can be used, the user who made this competition had the poll set to public votes, to be as neutral as possible.

Once the back-end stuff is done processing, I'll bug Jyo about it again.  He's a busy guy, so there's no guarantee on when it'll be done.  If you just want to write, and don't care where the inspiration comes from, let me know.

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On February 23, 2017 at 2:36 PM, eclipse said:

It means that I can't recreate the poll.  While the PM system can be used, the user who made this competition had the poll set to public votes, to be as neutral as possible.

Once the back-end stuff is done processing, I'll bug Jyo about it again.  He's a busy guy, so there's no guarantee on when it'll be done.  If you just want to write, and don't care where the inspiration comes from, let me know.

Oh, dang. That's too bad. Well, I'll leave the link to my Google Doc up on here for now and let others hopefully get some inspiration for it. Adding the link again to here one more time.

Avia's Tale - Beginning

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Well, the poll system would be useful but there are a couple of ways to make a public poll. Making voters post their votes and hopefully reviews/commentaries about the story they just voted is one way. Typing ##Vote: Member can't be much harder than clicking a name and "Vote".

now back to lurking this thread without actually finding the inspiration, time and diligence to write

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