Jump to content

Fates Fanfiction Central (Spoilers)


NekoKnight
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 293
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Been thinking on Eponine since I wanna use her. I think I've figured out how to make her a bit better... possibly.

I'm thinking Eponine in general is kind of a "shipper" or at least really into romance novels. They were the only books she could read and its how she even learned to functionally read. This is what also drew her into her lifestyle as a thief - she found the romantic novels about thieves to be incredibly attractive so set out to be like one herself. In a fanmade Foleo x Eponine support I was thinking of, Foleo basically complains about how he's running low on cloth and how its so expensive and rare due to the war going on, Eponine goes out and steals some to give it to him. He rejects it it was, well, stolen. This causes Eponine to sell some of her cherished romance novels to get enough funds to buy Foleo the fabric he needs, so he makes her a new set of clothes to help her romantic thief image.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Been thinking on Eponine since I wanna use her. I think I've figured out how to make her a bit better... possibly.

I'm thinking Eponine in general is kind of a "shipper" or at least really into romance novels. They were the only books she could read and its how she even learned to functionally read. This is what also drew her into her lifestyle as a thief - she found the romantic novels about thieves to be incredibly attractive so set out to be like one herself. In a fanmade Foleo x Eponine support I was thinking of, Foleo basically complains about how he's running low on cloth and how its so expensive and rare due to the war going on, Eponine goes out and steals some to give it to him. He rejects it it was, well, stolen. This causes Eponine to sell some of her cherished romance novels to get enough funds to buy Foleo the fabric he needs, so he makes her a new set of clothes to help her romantic thief image.

Not bad. That gives me another idea. What if Eponine became a literature thief? Like, initially she broke into homes to steal items for wealth but eventually became enamored with books (particularly romance novels). Maybe in the past she broke into the home of a family, and found a lonely rich girl who taught her to read. They became close friends until Eponine's clandestine visits were discovered and she was nearly thrown into prison.

Or, assuming these characters aren't 2nd gen/tied to the 1st gen, that "girl" she met in the past was Foleo. Upon meeting again, Foleo might be disappointed that Eponine never gave up her life of thievery and Eponine would protest saying that she only kept stealing books because they reminded Eponine of him.

Edit: The rich "girl" Foleo was isolated because his family found his cross dressing disgraceful. Foleo liked Eponine for her non-judgmental attitude and honesty.

Guaaah, Ebony unlocked a fountain of creativity! Make it stop! I need to get something to eat!

Edited by NekoKnight
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not bad. That gives me another idea. What if Eponine became a literature thief? Like, initially she broke into homes to steal items for wealth but eventually became enamored with books (particularly romance novels). Maybe in the past she broke into the home of a family, and found a lonely rich girl who taught her to read. They became close friends until Eponine's clandestine visits were discovered and she was nearly thrown into prison.

Or, assuming these characters aren't 2nd gen/tied to the 1st gen, that "girl" she met in the past was Foleo. Upon meeting again, Foleo might be disappointed that Eponine never gave up her life of thievery and Eponine would protest saying that she only kept stealing books because they reminded Eponine of him.

Edit: The rich "girl" Foleo was isolated because his family found his cross dressing disgraceful. Foleo liked Eponine for her non-judgmental attitude and honesty.

Guaaah, Ebony unlocked a fountain of creativity! Make it stop! I need to get something to eat!

tumblr_inline_mzkdwrfito1s9h71d_by_color

Apparently the sicker I get, the better I am at giving people ideas. But I thought this would be good for Eponine character wise, make her way more enjoyable for me to write. Personally I don't imagine Nohr has high literacy rates for whatever reason, possibly due to lack of supplies to make books so only the rich and such get any. Eponine steals them and teaches kids to read, or keeps them for herself and acts them out for people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Apparently the sicker I get, the better I am at giving people ideas. But I thought this would be good for Eponine character wise, make her way more enjoyable for me to write. Personally I don't imagine Nohr has high literacy rates for whatever reason, possibly due to lack of supplies to make books so only the rich and such get any. Eponine steals them and teaches kids to read, or keeps them for herself and acts them out for people.

It might only work on other sick people. I think I'd prefer my health for Christmas over more fanfiction ideas. Although both would be welcome.

That "acting out the book stories" makes me wish they played up a "bard" angle for her. Eponine, a collector (read; thief) of stories and popular performer in the Under City.

See, IS could have given the characters interesting back stories and nuanced personalities but were like "Naw, let's give her a yaoi obsession".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was thinking of giving the performing/"bard" part to Soleil. She gets roped in by Eponine to perform for her, only for Eponine to find out that she's a decent actress, but a terrible singer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm still planning on writing my various Fates-related stories once I get more time, but I feel like I'm far less invested than the rest of you in the world of Fates. Probably because all of my investment went into my original story instead. Fates is fun to world build in, but it's embarrassing in that all of this that we're world building should've existed in the first place.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was thinking of giving the performing/"bard" part to Soleil. She gets roped in by Eponine to perform for her, only for Eponine to find out that she's a decent actress, but a terrible singer.

hqdefault.jpg

Eponine + Foleo support: Long lost literature friends.

Eponine + Soleil support: Story teller/dancer acting duo.

I'm still planning on writing my various Fates-related stories once I get more time, but I feel like I'm far less invested than the rest of you in the world of Fates. Probably because all of my investment went into my original story instead. Fates is fun to world build in, but it's embarrassing in that all of this that we're world building should've existed in the first place.

Let the disappointment in Fates fuel your passion for writing. We can rebuild it, we have the technology.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hqdefault.jpg

Eponine + Foleo support: Long lost literature friends.

Eponine + Soleil support: Story teller/dancer acting duo.

Exactly! It isn't as hard as it appears if you have enough determination. I mean, motivation. And lately since I've been ill I've had a lot of time to build up on characters - relationship and rewriting otherwise. I think Foleo himself is actually one of the ones I don't really need to change too much.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So I've been working on a C-S rank conversation between Eponine and Foleo. In this version of Fates, the "children" aren't tied to their canon parents.

The C-rank is a bit long and the B-rank a bit short so I'll probably go back to work on them again later.

[spoiler=C-rank]

C-rank

Eponine: Ah, Foleo. I thought I'd find you here.

Foleo: Eponine? I didn't see you come in.

Eponine: Working on your fancy dresses again, huh? I recall you were making something like that when we first met, too.

Foleo: I remember that day well. I was so shocked to see you standing there at the frame of my window on the second floor.

Eponine: Well, I do have a habit of making surprise visits to people. It wouldn't do for a thief to be expected. At first I thought I'd sneak in and see what jewelry I could make off with but when I saw you there in your beautiful clothes, I couldn't take my eyes off you. I thought you were a girl, at first.

Foleo: A lot of people do. That's probably the reason why my parents kept me so sheltered. They found my dressing habits an embarrassment and I rarely left that room full of sewing supplies and books.

Eponine: I was curious about those as well. I had seen books before but I couldn't make any sense of the scribbles on them until you taught me to read. Thanks to you, I acquired a taste for literature.

Foleo: And thanks to you, I finally had a friend. You paid me many secret visits to my room. I taught you how to read and you always brought me new and interesting stories. It made me happy to have someone to talk to.

Eponine: We made an odd pair, I think. A street urchin and a noble. Of course all of that came to an end when your parents caught me and I was thrown into prison. I guess your luck only lasts so long in my line of work.

Foleo: Yes...

Eponine: Ah, that reminds me, I've brought you a gift. Ta-dah! It's a book I found! The Adventures of Roland!

Foleo: By "found" do you mean "stolen"?

Eponine: What? No! I mean, maybe. I'm sure the guy I got it from had a spare copy somewhere. He won't miss it.

Foleo: I want you to return it.

Eponine: Eh? But it's a really good book! Full of brave heroes and dragons and-

Foleo: Please return this book at once!

Eponine: Fine! I'll take it back... That Foleo... has he become more picky about the books I bring? Maybe he'd like a book on fashion instead.

[spoiler=B-rank]

B rank

Eponine: Here you go, Foleo. I acquired another book for you! Masterwork Sewing, by the esteemed Archibald Lancaster. I think this one is quite rare.

Foleo: Where did you get this book?

Eponine: It fell off a wagon.

Foleo: Really?

Eponine: No... This one is also stolen.

Foleo: And what will you do when the people you robbed come looking for what's theirs? Are you ready to face the consequences?

Eponine: Eh, don't be so uptight. It will be just like when we were children. I always brought you good books, right?

Foleo: That's enough! I told you I don't approve of your lifestyle but you never listen to me!

Eponine: Hey! Isn't that a little harsh? I went through a lot of trouble to get you this book.

Foleo: If you want to bring me a book, then go buy one like a normal person!

Eponine: ... It's easy for someone like you to say that...

Foleo: Eponine?

Eponine: I didn't choose to be born poor! I didn't have the luxury to have servants bring me everything I could ask for! If I could get by without being a thief, I would have... You were locked into that room your entire life. What do you know about what it's like to live on the outside!? I brought you those books because I thought they would make you happy!

Foleo: No...I didn't mean...

Eponine: ...I'm going now. You don't have to read the book...

Foleo: Wait, Eponine! Please come back!

[spoiler=A rank]

A rank

Foleo: I finally found you!

Eponine: Foleo... Usually I'm the one seeking out you, huh? I want to apologize for my outburst earlier. I... just felt so angry. I let my envy show and I'm sorry.

Foleo: I'm the one who should apologize. I didn't realize it at first but my words were thoughtless. I was trying to give you advice but I only came off as condescending and entitled.

Eponine: It's okay...

Foleo: But I want you to know that I didn't say those things because I think you're a bad person. I said them because I was worried about you. The last time you were caught for a crime, we were separated for 5 years. I didn't know if you were alive or dead. You were the most important person in my life and... I thought I would never see you again.

Eponine: Foleo... I'm so happy that you were thinking about me. I thought about you a lot during those years as well.

Foleo: Eponine, after the war is over, I want you to tell me a story I've never heard before, but I don't want it to be from a stolen book.

Eponine: What!? But those are the only kind of books I have!

Foleo: I don't want to hear their stories, I want to hear yours. I want to know everything that happened to you since we were separated and from the time before we met as well.

Eponine: You might not always like the main character. She's a bit of a rouge and a scoundrel.

Foleo: That's fine by me. I find those types a little...exciting.

Eponine: The Eponine Odyssey won't come cheap you know. I'm making my way up in the world and I need to charge higher prices for my works.

Foleo: It's not finished yet but I've been working on a set of matching outfits. I used the finest silk and velvet I could find. It might be a little gaudy for your tastes but I'd like you to have it.

Eponine: In that case, I'll accept! I'm looking forward to seeing your craftsmanship.

Foleo: I won't disappoint you!

[spoiler=S-rank]

S rank

Eponine: Outside again, are you? You're going to ruin that porcelain skin if you spend too much time in the sun.

Foleo: Don't worry, I'm well covered up.

Eponine: You are indeed. What a marvelous outfit today. Are you meeting someone important?

Foleo: You could say that. ...Eponine? I have a particular request but it might be too much for you.

Eponine: Oh? If it's a riveting yarn, I got you covered. What sort of story would you like to hear?

Foleo: It's a story about something that hasn't happened yet.

Eponine: That is a difficult request!

Foleo: I want to hear about where our story will go. How does the story of Eponine and Foleo end?

Eponine: Such a thing is...

Foleo: Every day I see you run off into dangerous situations and I worry about you. The heaviness in my heart gets worse each time. Eponine... I think I'm in love with you.

Eponine: What!? But I'm just a lowborn thief. How could you have feelings for someone like me?

Foleo: You're so much more than that! You're kind, funny, smart and... beautiful!

Eponine: To be praised like that by someone so elegant as you... I'm truly flattered. Truth be told, lately I've found my solo adventures a little less enjoyable because I end up missing you.

Foleo: Then do you accept my feelings?

Eponine: I do. I don't want to think of a world where you aren't waiting for me when I come home. I'm in your care, Foleo.

Foleo: With you by my side, I'll never be lonely again. I hope I can make you as happy as you make me.

Edited by NekoKnight
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Funny, I did my own recently. I think they're a tad bit short though, I'm definitely going to rework them at some time.

C support

Foleo: Ah, this isn't good, not good at all. It's almost completely gone, it seems. It's such an expensive fabric too!
Eponine: Does Foleo need something?
Foleo: Gah, Eponine! You were behind me the entire time?
Eponine: Yes, and I heard you talk. You don't have enough money? Can't you ask your dad for it.
Foleo: Well, yes, but I'd rather not have to strain his wallet for what I want. Ugh, and it's the last run before the merchants leave for a while.
Eponine: What do you need?
Foleo: Well, I need fabric just like this.
Eponine: Ha ha! No need to worry! I'll bring you back some!
Foleo: Really? You'll do that?
Eponine: Of course, it's what friends and comrades do, right? Off I go!
Foleo: Eponine, wait, do you have the funds for-... she's already gone.
B support
Eponine: Foleo, Foleo! I have returned with the fabric you needed!
Foleo: You did?! Really? That's great! Haha, this is wonderful! This must have cost a fortune!
Eponine: Of course, I promised. Of course I'd get it for you.
Foleo: This must have cost a fortune, I have to repay you!
Eponine: Haha, it didn't cost a cent... literally.
Foleo: Erm, excuse me? Wait, Eponine, did you steal this?
Eponine: Well, of course. You were needing it more then those merchants, so I gave it to the needy - you!
Foleo: Eponine! Return this at once!
Eponine: Really? But I worked super hard to get this!
Foleo: I'm afraid I don't want it if you didn't get this yourself.
Eponine: But your outfit, the shipment...
Foleo: It'll have to wait, I'm afraid. I still don't have the funds, but I don't want it... illegally. Go apologise and give it back Eponine, and don't come back until you've done so.
Eponine: Foleo... he really wanted it too...
A support
Eponine: Foleo! I got it!
Foleo: Eponine, no, I already told you that I-
Eponine: I bought it this time!
Foleo: Eh?
Eponine: Here you go. It was the last they had too. Guess I just made it in time.
Foleo: H-how did you get this? I didn't think you had much money. What did you do to get it if it wasn't stolen?
Eponine: I... I went through some terrible, terrible ordeals, Foleo.
Foleo: Eponine! Are you o-
Eponine: I sold some of my novels. They brought in a lot of coin but... with each book I gave up, it felt like I was abandoning a child.
Foleo: Oh... I promise, I'll repay you. Hold still, let me measure.
Eponine: Eh?
Foleo: You need a new outfit anyway, so I might as well make it to try and cheer you up!
Eponine: Ah, thank you, Foleo.

Mostly just exercises to get back in writing after trying to recovering form how poor i've been feeling. NekoKnight's are better though, haha.
Edited by Ebony
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Interesting. I see we both have Foleo's objection to thievery in common.

I'm thinking that Eponine's outburst is a little sudden in my B-rank so I think I'll try to better work in Eponine's appreciation/longing for Foleo's wealth.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Interesting. I see we both have Foleo's objection to thievery in common.

I'm thinking that Eponine's outburst is a little sudden in my B-rank so I think I'll try to better work in Eponine's appreciation/longing for Foleo's wealth.

Yeah it seemed in character for him to be opposed to it.

Edit: I've decided on the Awakening trio... yeah, I'm still gonna include them... and I've decided on this.

Lazward: Inigo from the Future Past's realm. The crown prince of Ylisse, son of Chrom, brother to Lucina. Married to Hana - nobody in Ylisse. His philandering has lessened due to the horrible nature of the Future Past, though some of it still shines through when he talks. Now he's more of a general teaser, trying to lighten up some of his allies in this terrible time due to him sympathizing with these turbulent times.

Odin: Owain from the Future Past. Son of Henry. This Owain still has theatrics, though he's very good at dramas. He publishes his own plays under an alias, based on the tale of Grima he went through. Elise has a crush on him, and he's aware, but pretends not to be.

Luna: Severa from the Future Past. Daughter of Lon'qu. The most skilled in swordplay out of the three, and possibly the best swordsman in the entire Nohrian army. As far as things go, this Severa is sweeter then the Awakening canon. Still tsundere, but leans more on the -dere side. She's actually dating Gerome back in Ylisse, so she... wants to go back the most out of the three.

Edited by Ebony
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've been thinking about making Corrin more 'reptile-like' in physiology, but I don't have many ideas right now. What I've got so far is:

Pros

-Better sense of smell, but not like a dog. He does the same thing snakes and monitor lizards do where they flick their tongue out to taste moisture particles in the air.

-Can detect thermal radiation.

-Maybe venom? Not sure how that would work though.

He has really good hearing, but that's a Dragon thing more than a snake/lizard thing.

Cons:

-Reptiles generally don't have very good eyesight, so he'll either be near or far-sighted

-He's either fully ectothermic, or his body doesn't regulate it's temperature as efficiently as a regular human. Always complains about the weather being too hot or too cold.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I liked the headcanon that Kamui was either blind or had poor vision but that was more related to their perceived albinism than draconic properties.

Of the traits you mentioned, I think thermal detection is non-mammalian enough to make Kamui exotic, but not so much it makes him "weird" (like flicking out his tongue would be). Kamui is primarily human, after-all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I've been thinking about Touma and some original flavor OCs a lot and did some stuff in class while crying about finals.

Namely two OCs - ex husband of Shenmei who dies before she becomes a concubine of Garon (Mercury), and Shiro, Shenmei and Mikoto's father (Shiro). For Shiro, I took a page out of Rome's book and took inspiration from Caligula and Nero to make him. As my English notebook says...

Anakos/dragons in general can gift powers to humans if they proved worthy enough to them - the Dragon's Vein and the ability to turn into a dragon. I called the latter Anakos's Blessing for the sake of description. Dragon's Vein is given to generals, and Anakos's Blessing only for the highest to Anakos and Touma emperors. The "blessing" can be passed through bloodline, though gets more diluted if wed to one who doesn't have it, which is almost always. Due to this, those who did have his gifts usually resorted to incest to keep it in this bloodline. This worked, allowing each child to have the blessing... but the problem with his blessing is the more it's used, the more disastrous it is to their health, degrading it with each major use. This is because humans aren't use to switching from dragons to humans so much that their bodies can't adjust. First it attacks the sexual organs, their senses, and finally their minds before dying.

Due to this, use of Dragonstones was banned most of the time, though they were kept locked up in "times of crisis." Such as power highs or... just about anything. The dragon form gives a good feeling of power and pride, it's addictive.

Shiro himself...

kyYyOHY.png

Approximate appearance. Was older then this at the time he had Shenmei and Mikoto, this is just kind of a visual example of how I imagined him. At face level, a sensible and kind ruler. The truth is he has a well hidden temper and thirst for blood. The only thing he really, truly cares for are power and his bloodline. He's extremely, overbearingly overprotective of his daughters and loves them fiercely, creepily so now that i realize oops... Eventually, as things are, Shenmei and Mikoto decide that they want to find a husband... outside of Touma or anyone related to them. He doesn't take it well, and by take it well, he means by attempts to murder them. The daughters decide the only real way to win over their freedom is by escaping, otherwise they feared what would happen. Anakos turns into his human form to help guide them out, but the sisters had to separate in order to further escape their father's advancing threat. Anakos went with Mikoto, while Lilith (notes below) went with Shenmei. There's only two places they could really hide - neighboring allies Hoshido and Nohr. Both were unsteady allies to Touma, essentially the bully of the trio. This is due to their supremely strong army, due to being the only users of the Dragon Vein and being able to control the very terrain itself is very... well, OP. Sensing a possibility, Anakos himself brokered a peace treaty between Nohr and Hoshido. Both accept and prepare to invade. There Mikoto meets Sumeragi and Shenmei meets Mercury. The ladies themselves help fight with their abilities of the Dragon Vein to help even the odds. The overwhelming numbers of the armies plus the null of their Dragon Vein advantage leads Touma to lose. They chase Shiro to the castle where the four confront him one last time. Unable to accept his loss and unable to bear killing his beloved daughters, he commits suicide.

The Toumans surrender and slowly assimilate into Nohrian and Hoshidan society. Touma itself is left in ruins not long after, the empire seemingly drained of life itself. Anakos decided to stay, while in the wake of Mercury's death, Lilith decided to stay with Shenmei.

Lilith is a draconic wetnurse essentually and daughter of Anakos. She helps raise the future rulers of Touma, such as Shiro, Mikoto, and Shenmei.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I liked the headcanon that Kamui was either blind or had poor vision but that was more related to their perceived albinism than draconic properties.

Of the traits you mentioned, I think thermal detection is non-mammalian enough to make Kamui exotic, but not so much it makes him "weird" (like flicking out his tongue would be). Kamui is primarily human, after-all.

Actually, weird is what I'm going for. I think most of us can agree that Kamui being able to 'charm others' is pretty cringe-worthy, so I was going to have him be one of those characters where they don't make friends easily, but they're really likable one you get to know them but, rather than making him tsundere or something similar, he doesn't make friends easily because almost everyone initially finds him very strange/eerie/off-putting not in terms of personality, but because he looks weird does a lot of really freaky things (such as the constant tongue flicking).

Edited by Phillius
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Actually, weird is what I'm going for. I think most of us can agree that Kamui being able to 'charm others' is pretty cringe-worthy, so I was going to have him be one of those characters where they don't make friends easily, but they're really likable one you get to know them but, rather than making him tsundere or something similar, he doesn't make friends easily because almost everyone initially finds him very strange/eerie/off-putting not in terms of personality, but because he looks weird does a lot of really freaky things (such as the constant tongue flicking).

Hm, if I were to write Kamui as eerie, I'd make it a bit more subtle than doing the tongue flick thing. Like, if Kamui was a beast shapeshifter wouldn't it be silly if he coughed up hairballs? Canon Kamui has "mysterious charisma" so I feel like the opposite should be a creepiness you can't quite identify. Morphs, for example, aren't immediately recognizable as inhuman but something about them seems off and the eeriness is achieved.

Physically Kamui already fits this. Red, reptilian eyes and pointed ears. You could make Kamui say creepy things (because he has senses that others don't) like "Your body is colder than usual today. Are you dressed warmly enough?" One idea I had for a near-blind Kamui was that he had such powerful hearing he could hear and identify people by their heartbeat. He'd also inform people of their heartbeat if he found it unusual.

As an aside to Alazen, whom is determined to make Kamui ambitious, an idea you could implement is Kamui's desire to rule being influenced by his dragon heritage. Dragons seem to instinctively desire power and dominate others. Granted, humans can be ambitious too, but why not capitalize on Kamui's genetic heritage?

Edited by NekoKnight
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hm, if I were to write Kamui as eerie, I'd make it a bit more subtle than doing the tongue flick thing. Like, if Kamui was a beast shapeshifter wouldn't it be silly if he coughed up hairballs? Canon Kamui has "mysterious charisma" so I feel like the opposite should be a creepiness you can't quite identify. Morphs, for example, aren't immediately recognizable as inhuman but something about them seems off and the eeriness is achieved.

Physically Kamui already fits this. Red, reptilian eyes and pointed ears. You could make Kamui say creepy things (because he has senses that others don't) like "Your body is colder than usual today. Are you dressed warmly enough?" One idea I had for a near-blind Kamui was that he had such powerful hearing he could hear and identify people by their heartbeat. He'd also inform people of their heartbeat if he found it unusual.

As an aside to Alazen, whom is determined to make Kamui ambitious, an idea you could implement is Kamui's desire to rule being influenced by his dragon heritage. Dragons seem to instinctively desire power and dominate others. Granted, humans can be ambitious too, but why not capitalize on Kamui's genetic heritage?

I was actually thinking on making it a mixture of creepy factors. Some of the thing he does provoke 'okay, that's a little weird' reactions, like commenting on people's smell/body temperature/heartbeat, the tongue flicking (which he disguises as licking his lips a lot) and his gaze being very unfocused because of his poor eyesight, while others are very obviously inhuman and reptilian, like eating hard-boiled eggs whole, including the shell (he crushes it against the roof of his mouth instead of 'peeling' it).

I'm not sure about the effects his dragon-heritage would have on his personality though, I'll get back to you on that.

Edited by Phillius
Link to comment
Share on other sites

With Kamui now in Smash with a move-set more based around his dragon body, does anyone think it might be interesting if Kamui in Fates was developed that way? I mean him focusing on and developing a fighting style different than humans. Perhaps Kamui is trained to use a sword but instinctively wants to use his body to fight.

It seems a bit "Shonen" but not all tropes are bad.

Well I've been thinking about Touma and some original flavor OCs a lot and did some stuff in class while crying about finals.

Namely two OCs - ex husband of Shenmei who dies before she becomes a concubine of Garon (Mercury), and Shiro, Shenmei and Mikoto's father (Shiro). For Shiro, I took a page out of Rome's book and took inspiration from Caligula and Nero to make him. As my English notebook says...

Anakos/dragons in general can gift powers to humans if they proved worthy enough to them - the Dragon's Vein and the ability to turn into a dragon. I called the latter Anakos's Blessing for the sake of description. Dragon's Vein is given to generals, and Anakos's Blessing only for the highest to Anakos and Touma emperors. The "blessing" can be passed through bloodline, though gets more diluted if wed to one who doesn't have it, which is almost always. Due to this, those who did have his gifts usually resorted to incest to keep it in this bloodline. This worked, allowing each child to have the blessing... but the problem with his blessing is the more it's used, the more disastrous it is to their health, degrading it with each major use. This is because humans aren't use to switching from dragons to humans so much that their bodies can't adjust. First it attacks the sexual organs, their senses, and finally their minds before dying.

Due to this, use of Dragonstones was banned most of the time, though they were kept locked up in "times of crisis." Such as power highs or... just about anything. The dragon form gives a good feeling of power and pride, it's addictive.

Shiro himself...

kyYyOHY.png

Approximate appearance. Was older then this at the time he had Shenmei and Mikoto, this is just kind of a visual example of how I imagined him. At face level, a sensible and kind ruler. The truth is he has a well hidden temper and thirst for blood. The only thing he really, truly cares for are power and his bloodline. He's extremely, overbearingly overprotective of his daughters and loves them fiercely, creepily so now that i realize oops... Eventually, as things are, Shenmei and Mikoto decide that they want to find a husband... outside of Touma or anyone related to them. He doesn't take it well, and by take it well, he means by attempts to murder them. The daughters decide the only real way to win over their freedom is by escaping, otherwise they feared what would happen. Anakos turns into his human form to help guide them out, but the sisters had to separate in order to further escape their father's advancing threat. Anakos went with Mikoto, while Lilith (notes below) went with Shenmei. There's only two places they could really hide - neighboring allies Hoshido and Nohr. Both were unsteady allies to Touma, essentially the bully of the trio. This is due to their supremely strong army, due to being the only users of the Dragon Vein and being able to control the very terrain itself is very... well, OP. Sensing a possibility, Anakos himself brokered a peace treaty between Nohr and Hoshido. Both accept and prepare to invade. There Mikoto meets Sumeragi and Shenmei meets Mercury. The ladies themselves help fight with their abilities of the Dragon Vein to help even the odds. The overwhelming numbers of the armies plus the null of their Dragon Vein advantage leads Touma to lose. They chase Shiro to the castle where the four confront him one last time. Unable to accept his loss and unable to bear killing his beloved daughters, he commits suicide.

The Toumans surrender and slowly assimilate into Nohrian and Hoshidan society. Touma itself is left in ruins not long after, the empire seemingly drained of life itself. Anakos decided to stay, while in the wake of Mercury's death, Lilith decided to stay with Shenmei.

Lilith is a draconic wetnurse essentually and daughter of Anakos. She helps raise the future rulers of Touma, such as Shiro, Mikoto, and Shenmei.

I like the idea of a Touma that pretty much got absorbed into Nohrian and Hoshidan society. Remind me, is Anankos still cray-cray in your story?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like the idea of a Touma that pretty much got absorbed into Nohrian and Hoshidan society. Remind me, is Anankos still cray-cray in your story?

No.

To put it this way, he's less insane and more of just... Ultron-ish. He has a high temper, sarcastic, and brutal. He's pretty bitter that the people of Touma (now in Nohr and Hoshido) are fighting over such petty things and, in his mind, abusing the gifts he gave humanity. So no, I wouldn't say he's crazy. A villain? Yeah. A villain you can kind of understand? I hope.

As far as Kamui goes, I like these ideas. Mine was kind of a mix of a cat and a reptile - the feline parts being things such as strange, bone breaking, spine twisting sleeping positions, her canines are rather sharp (not to extreme proportions, but abnormally so), and I was debating on her purring and having decent night vision. Oh, and balance. Really good balance.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

With Kamui now in Smash with a move-set more based around his dragon body, does anyone think it might be interesting if Kamui in Fates was developed that way? I mean him focusing on and developing a fighting style different than humans. Perhaps Kamui is trained to use a sword but instinctively wants to use his body to fight.

I was thinking about something similar, only a little more different. Basically, by the time Kamui gets his Dragonstone, the only information left on dragons and half-dragons is nothing more than myths and legends, so Kamui isn't very good at using their dragon powers (he has to practice being able to walk and run for the first few weeks) and the only people he can get even basic advice from are the original elemental dragons (who are borderline senile). Anankos meanwhile, during the time when he briefly possesses Kamui's body, kicks all the ass because he actually knows how to use his powers.

Edited by Phillius
Link to comment
Share on other sites

As far as things go, I'm thinking on making a prologue chapter that goes over the ending part of the overthrow of Shirou at least, and then a bit into the Waifu Wars.

Finished finals and I wrote more ideas. Mercury dies after Azura is born and Kamui on the way. Garon takes Shenmei in and protects her, since he was like a brother to Mercury. The concubines during the Waifu War get the wrong idea and Camilla's mom kills Shenmei and Azura in a fit of jealousy and an attempt to get closer to Garon. Kamui escaped by being in the right place at the right time. Garon goes very bitter over this, since his best friend, his friend's wife, and his friend's daughter were all murdered. This embitters him heavily and he takes his frustrations out rather unhealthily, distancing himself from Kamui and otherwise pretending she doesn't exist except when he has to talk to her, which is rarely. Despite this, Garon is a good father to his own kids and not entirely, 100% heartless.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...