Jotari Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Question's in the title. And if you just so happen to be someone with a family you're not related to by blood, how would it make you feel to suddenly discover you actually are? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Wouldn't make a difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enaluxeme Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Regarding my relationship with my family I wouldn't actually care, but I'd want to know more about my blood relatives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedi Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Considering how close I am to my family, I don't think much would actually change. But I'd be really curious about my true relatives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flee Fleet! Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 I'd actually be pretty calm about it. Even if it turned out I'm not blood related with my family, they still treated me as part of the family(that is, if said family has treated you as they treat their other family members). That's why i'd stay calm and just resume the same old days with family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Light Strategist Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Allegedly betray both families and save the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Life Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 How sudden? After how many years? The vast majority of my family on my father's side is related to me because my grandfather remarried when my dad was ten years old. So we're not related by blood. But they're still my cousins, aunts and uncles, just like my father's biological sister. In fact, I was named after one of my dad's step-brothers who passed away when he was 19 (we Jews like to name our kids after deceased relatives and not living ones). So the idea of family relation without blood is not a foreign idea to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Draco Knight Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Eh, I don't think anything would change. Tough, like the others, I would be really curious to know who my real parents are(or were, if they are dead) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted August 4, 2016 Author Share Posted August 4, 2016 Response are pretty much as I expected. So my part 2 to this question is thus. If blood relation has such little value, then why have a child yourself? Why not adopt? There are plenty of unfortunate children out there with no parents and over population is a growing problem in most parts of the world. Seems like a pretty simple solution that I don't see incentivised anywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moblin Major General Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 One of two things can be pre-existing on an adopted child: Either they were surrendered to the system at birth, or they were aware of who took care of them before they were put in a position to be adopted. I want to have children by my own blood so that they will never have to grow up knowing that someone else loved them before me. If I am taken from them, so be it, but I want them to know who loved them first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Res Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 1. It's an expensive and lengthy process. 2. Adoption comes with its own set of issues; even adoption from birth is emotionally traumatic for the adoptees. Transracial adoption is another tricky issue; I know some transracial adoptees who are very outspoken against it and feel it has negatively affected their lives (not to say it can't be successful, but it requires a lot of work). Basically, the more tales I hear from friends who were adopted themselves, the more wary I grow of adoption. 3. Selfishly, I wanted to experience pregnancy and childbirth myself. 4. Your described situation is a little different; if I found out I was not blood related, I'd assume my parents were also unaware. If my parents were aware, I'd feel very resentful and yes, it would change things for me. 5. Raising a child of my own blood means I can provide them with a detailed history/medical history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Wright Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Considering how close I am to my family, I don't think much would actually change. But I'd be really curious about my true relatives. essentially this. but i would get the "why didn't they want me" feelings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augestein Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 I wouldn't care. My father has denied me before when he was angry with my mother. It makes no difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elieson Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 I found out on my 19th birthday, that I'm the oldest of 4 and the only one adopted out. All it meant to me was Cool! I have blood family!! I wonder what my medical history is like, and I wonder what my kids'll grow up to look like.. My dad is still my dad, and my mom is still my mom. Family is family. It was neat at first, but I took it slow because my biological family is now my extended family. There's no arguing that, and they hold no animosity over it either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 1. It's an expensive and lengthy process. 2. Adoption comes with its own set of issues; even adoption from birth is emotionally traumatic for the adoptees. Transracial adoption is another tricky issue; I know some transracial adoptees who are very outspoken against it and feel it has negatively affected their lives (not to say it can't be successful, but it requires a lot of work). Basically, the more tales I hear from friends who were adopted themselves, the more wary I grow of adoption. 3. Selfishly, I wanted to experience pregnancy and childbirth myself. 4. Your described situation is a little different; if I found out I was not blood related, I'd assume my parents were also unaware. If my parents were aware, I'd feel very resentful and yes, it would change things for me. 5. Raising a child of my own blood means I can provide them with a detailed history/medical history. This is pretty much exactly what I was going to say. I've always wanted to have kids of my own, and pregnancy is the simplest way to do it, in blunt terms. That being said, I considered adopting children back when I was with another girl, and really wanted to have kids one way or another. Sadly, it led to a breakup, but that is another story. There are success stories with adoption. My father in law was adopted, as well as a cousin of mine. Unfortunately, I have a young cousin having a baby about the same time as mine, and she will give him up for adoption. I hope he has a good life. I really do. I'm not sure if it's selfish on my part, but I almost wish I could adopt the child and raise him as my own, but I already have soon to be two children of my own, and can't feasibly take him right now. Interracial adoption isn't bad in and of itself. I have a Korean friend adopted by whites. It just is more obvious that the child is adopted, and makes them stick out, when they aren't psychologically ready to understand what's going on. That, and children can be cruel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Res Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Interracial adoption isn't bad in and of itself. I have a Korean friend adopted by whites. It just is more obvious that the child is adopted, and makes them stick out, when they aren't psychologically ready to understand what's going on. That, and children can be cruel. The most outspoken adoptee I know is also Korean, and was adopted by a white couple! Her issues lie with her parents having had the 'white Christian saviour' complex, with being brought up to 'be white' and with no consideration given to teaching her about anything relating to Korea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HF Makalov Fanboy Kai Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 i really wouldn't care. actually i'd be glad to not have my dad's blood in me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted August 4, 2016 Author Share Posted August 4, 2016 I have a pair of cousins who were adopted and are from some kind of Asian descent and I somehow never managed to notice until it was pointed out to me. Though my extended family is pretty damn huge and they are quite a few years older than me so I don't know them all that well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 things would make a lot of sense i would be like "i knew it" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 (edited) The most outspoken adoptee I know is also Korean, and was adopted by a white couple! Her issues lie with her parents having had the 'white Christian saviour' complex, with being brought up to 'be white' and with no consideration given to teaching her about anything relating to Korea.Thankfully, the guy I know didn't have issues like that, and had a healthy pride in his heritage, but still "acted white" in his own words. He also has an older sister also adopted, but I don't know her all that well.My sister's BFF is a social worker in the process on adopting one of her foster kids, who is black. One issue is not any lack of love on the parent's side, but just making it obvious that they are adopted, as stated before. I wouldn't mind adopting interracially, but I wouldn't want my child singled out like that. Edited August 4, 2016 by Rezzy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 1. I'd wonder what the hell happened. I look a lot like both of my parents, and have some weird markers that only occur on one side of the family or the other. 2. Adoption comes with an unknown health/behavioral history. At least with a kid of my own, I'll have half of their medical history on hand. And with my health, that's really important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nobody Posted August 7, 2016 Share Posted August 7, 2016 (edited) Response are pretty much as I expected. So my part 2 to this question is thus. If blood relation has such little value, then why have a child yourself? Why not adopt? There are plenty of unfortunate children out there with no parents and over population is a growing problem in most parts of the world. Seems like a pretty simple solution that I don't see incentivised anywhere. I don't want to have kids, but if I ever did, I'd want to have biological ones. I know this probably makes me look like a terrible person, but I think I wouldn't be able to see adopted children as my own. Like, weirdly enough, I wouldn't have any issue if it turned out my parents had adopted me, but IDK, I don't feel like i'd be able to bond with children if they were not related to me Edited August 7, 2016 by Nobody Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topaz Light Posted August 7, 2016 Share Posted August 7, 2016 (edited) I'd feel a little betrayed about the distrust implicit in how long my parents would have kept it a secret from me, but otherwise, not much would change. They're the ones who loved me and supported me and cared for me growing up, so they're my real parents; their genetic relation to me has nothing to do with that. Interpersonal bonds developed through actual shared time and experience are more important than genetic bonds, after all. I would wanna support the biological parent who gave birth to me if the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy were hard on them, though. Pregnancy's already a hard enough thing to go through on its own, so I'd wanna make sure they knew that their courage and fortitude were appreciated. As for the topic of having kids, since that came up, I do wanna have... probably one to three kids someday, when I'm in a happy, healthy, stable relationship, and my lover and I are in a good enough place psychologically and financially to support children. I'd probably wanna have them sorta one at a time, to avoid having more kids than I'd be able to take care of, but for two or more, I'd wanna have one biological and one adopted, and the third one however. Although, I always feel a bit guilty for wanting biological kids, since I wouldn't be the one getting pregnant with the baby due to my physiology, and I'm fully aware that pregnancy is no cakewalk. Edited August 7, 2016 by Topaz Light Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapier Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 (edited) Wouldn't care, and I wouldn't search for my true parents either. If they didn't keep me, they don't deserve any consideration of my part. As for having biological children x adopting, leaving aside how bureaucratic the adopting proccess may be, I think this is more of a personal (well, emotional) question than a logical one. I find it better to have a child that is grantedly mine, that carries some of my traits and resembles me somewhat. Edited August 21, 2016 by Rapier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noma9 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Feel slightly relieved that I'm not blood related to most of my family, but I wouldn't tell my brothers. I wouldn't want them to treat me any differently or anything. I guess I'd search for info on my biological parents, not because I'd want to meet them but because family history and medical records are pretty important.As for the kid thing, I don't want them, ever. I suppose if I changed my mind though, I'd 100% want to adopt. I have terrible genes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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