Anacybele Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 I mean strong like strong-minded or something like that. I've been told I'm "such a strong person" for how I've dealt with the tragic losses I've suffered in the last year and a half (brother, dog). It's probably because I was able to go back and enjoy life normally after a fairly short time. But that's part of the problem. I feel more like I'm running away from it than confronting it and all. I haven't visited my brother's grave since he was buried, because I don't want the depressing atmosphere. I visited my grandma's grave once or twice after she passed and I didn't like it at all. And I haven't done that since either. I couldn't bear to be there when my dog passed, because I didn't want to watch him die. I don't think I could be there when any family member is about to pass because I don't want to see them die. That doesn't make me strong, that makes me weak, if you ask me. Too weak and cowardly to face these things and be there for a dying family member that could use the company and a goodbye. I'm sorry if I led people to think I was this really strong person, I didn't mean that. At first, I thought maybe you guys were right. But after a while, I started second guessing that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceRibbon Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 I think it's strong to be able to not only recognize when you feel there's a fault with yourself but also come out about it too, on the internet no less. Give yourself some credit for at least that. The most important part of mourning to me though, is the times people mourn as a group, because that's when we can let our feelings out and bear the pain for one another so we can ultimately move on. There's no unwritten rule that says you have to mourn for x amount of time before returning to normal life, and I bet many of our loved ones would be sad to see us mourn to the point of shutting out life's important duties. The important thing is that you do miss them, not how you show that you miss them. The best we can do for those in the next life is not to forget them and cherish the good they brought the world. And if something happens again and you still feel obligated to mourn extra but are scared, bring someone who's willing along, it's a lot easier that way. I won't pretend I know too much matters of the heart, or about your particular situation, but it would feel wrong to just read your confession and not try cheer you up a little. So... I hope I didn't say anything wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted December 21, 2016 Author Share Posted December 21, 2016 Yeah, you have a good point in that first sentence. I could give myself credit there. But I see. Yeah, I can't say that I don't miss my grandma or brother or dog. I certainly do miss them. I may not miss some things ABOUT them, but as people, I definitely miss them. No, you didn't say anything wrong, I think you were helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account404 Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 (edited) deleted Edited January 11, 2020 by Inactive Account404 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted December 21, 2016 Author Share Posted December 21, 2016 (edited) Well, I guess you guys are right then. I feel better now knowing this. :) I also felt that not visiting a grave could imply that I DON'T care when I really do, but yeah. Edited December 22, 2016 by Anacybele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randoman Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 I agree with Silver Pegasus. There's nothing wrong with not visiting a person's grave. And I'm sure that anyone who's had a loved one perish completely understands the feeling of not wanting to bring up memories of someone you love and being saddened about the reminder of their death. Whatever helps you to cope better with a person's death, so long as it's not particularly destructive or hurting others, is perfectly fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Even the strong people have trouble facing things that remind them of deceased loved ones. I don't visit graves of my deceased loved ones at all, apart from when my mom wants to go out and visit one of them. Not because it's too painful, but I don't really feel that it's needed to remember them, because I have better, happier ways of remembering them, and I don't feel like their spirits would linger there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex95 Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 You've dealt with a lot. Honestly, the fact that you're still around shows just how strong you are. It is difficult to see someone you know and love die, but it gets easier to at least deal with as time goes on. Memories are a great thing to have, but don't let them get you down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 I don't think that just being around necessarily means I'm strong. But it doesn't make me completely weak either, I guess... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 . . .what is the point of this topic? I feel like this would make a better blog post than discussion topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxas Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 . . .what is the point of this topic? I feel like this would make a better blog post than discussion topic. I don't know either. You've dealt with a lot. Honestly, the fact that you're still around shows just how strong you are. It is difficult to see someone you know and love die, but it gets easier to at least deal with as time goes on. Memories are a great thing to have, but don't let them get you down. Didn't you leave this forum? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex95 Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 (edited) Didn't you leave this forum? I signed on to take a look at the update for the Scribbles event, then I saw this thread and figured I should offer up my two cents. I don't think that just being around necessarily means I'm strong. But it doesn't make me completely weak either, I guess... I don't mean still being around on the forum. I mean you're still living, doing the things you want to do (I'm assuming) instead of moping around and secluding yourself. Many people would've gone with the later or something similar. Live for all the people and loved ones you've lost, you know? Edited December 22, 2016 by Power Master Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 Wait, you were leaving, Power Master? That's a shame, I thought you were one of the nicer people here. :( And I know, I meant still living and such too. xP But I didn't know you were extending that to doing things I still enjoy and not secluding myself, so yeah, I suppose you're right then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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