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The "Pillars of Modern Warfare" Sh**post Thread


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Okay, after the latest trailer drop at 1:48, I'm into this. Let's get savage.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as naked pictures of Chrom and Sumia's pies have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as bare butt cavaliers and bikini dark mages have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as 13-16 year old child armies, and late promotion baby boy Roys have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as catgirls and cutting out the protagonist in favor of Ike have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as alternate dimension births and bad parenting have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as Kris' grandfather and training training training have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as only Sieze the Throne (FE6) and only Rout the Enemy(Birthright) objectives have no place in Valentia.

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6 minutes ago, Gustavos said:

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as only Sieze the Throne (FE6) and only Rout the Enemy(Birthright) objectives have no place in Valentia.

i mean, "rout the enemy" and "defeat the boss" really aren't that different, and that's all we had in gaiden i believe

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21 minutes ago, Gustavos said:

Okay, after the latest trailer drop at 1:48, I'm into this. Let's get savage.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as naked pictures of Chrom and Sumia's pies have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as bare butt cavaliers and bikini dark mages have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as 13-16 year old child armies, and late promotion baby boy Roys have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as catgirls and cutting out the protagonist in favor of Ike have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as alternate dimension births and bad parenting have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as Kris' grandfather and training training training have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as only Sieze the Throne (FE6) and only Rout the Enemy(Birthright) objectives have no place in Valentia.

im pretty sure both Alm and Celica aren't that much older than 16, and like the above said, 'rout the enemy' and 'defeat the boss' are all that we had in gaiden

and excuse you, lethe is fine.

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2 minutes ago, Iridium said:

i mean, "rout the enemy" and "defeat the boss" really aren't that different, and that's all we had in gaiden i believe

Defeat the Boss can be beaten in a single player phase with a warp staff. More laughable than Seize where you specifically had to warp a competent fighter that can one round the boss alongside Marth to take the throne. I think we can agree both are awful, and that Rout is just dull. Also, I think there's room in this thread to point out good things in previous games that aren't in Gaiden/Echoes. It IS fashionable to rag on the latest game, after all.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as 60 avoid terrain and refusing to update map design have every place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as unskippable Easy modes and Lyn's hand holding tutorials have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as Skirmishes that you can just retreat from and online theories that the twin lords want to bang have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as unit fatigue that keeps weak guys weak, and Glaucoma Fog of War maps have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as Private Quarters and class sets determining a unit's viability have no place in Valentia.

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27 minutes ago, Gustavos said:

Okay, after the latest trailer drop at 1:48, I'm into this. Let's get savage.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as naked pictures of Chrom and Sumia's pies have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as bare butt cavaliers and bikini dark mages have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as 13-16 year old child armies, and late promotion baby boy Roys have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as catgirls and cutting out the protagonist in favor of Ike have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as alternate dimension births and bad parenting have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as Kris' grandfather and training training training have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as only Sieze the Throne (FE6) and only Rout the Enemy(Birthright) objectives have no place in Valentia.

Spoiler

Is Rudolf a bad parent?

 

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9 minutes ago, Sarki said:

Title denotes this is a shitpost thread, yet people give stern, serious replies? Can't say I expected any different from Serenes.

Yeah, like I didn't want to say something, but I'm just a bit disappointed that people misread the title as "Let's be a White Knight Thread" instead of participating. If people were so adamant that there's nothing in these games that could even remotely be considered bothersome by somebody, then what's with this defeatist "we'll never come together to enjoy any game" thread in this very sub forum? Y'all are too emotional with this series. Too willing to find objectionable parts of somebody's opinion instead of finding common ground. That's what depresses me, alright. I don't even have another round of Pillars in me right now.

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Pillars of modern warfare, such as pega pony princesses have no place in Valentia.

20 minutes ago, Sarki said:

Title denotes this is a shitpost thread, yet people give stern, serious replies? Can't say I expected any different from Serenes.

Ya know, such a topic seems more like a fftf kinda thing if thats what we're going for. The fact its in the actual SoV board would lead one to take it seriously; regardless of the title. I mean, its not like you can replicate something the likes of a Release Hype thread with a meme attempt (which in my biased opinion was the death of SF. Hilarious as it was to pass by every now and then.)

24 minutes ago, Dandragon said:

i don't see whats wrong with 'private quarters'. it gives you more dialogue with your units. and whats wrong with free stuff?

Ah, but the real question is whats beyond said dialogue? Dialogue for dialogue's sake is no better (and can arguably be worse) than none at all, which I believe is the point (for some). Never mind how subjectively awkward/weird it is, that some (me) don't even bother with it

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The pillars of modern warfare, like archers that have a range of 3 at best and tolerable hit rates, have no place in Valentia.

This is fun, too bad it will likely go nowhere.

Edited by thecrimsonflash
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Pillars of modern warfare, such as imoutos and lolis, have no place in Valentia

Pillars of modern warfare, such as Avatars and good accuracy, have no place in Valentia

Pillars of modern warfare, such as whining and wishing for the past, have no place in Valentia

Pillars of modern warfare, such as good axes and ranged swords, have no place in Valentia!

 

Yeah, much as the line could have been hilarious, the way it's going to be used is going to kill the joke.

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1 hour ago, Sarki said:

Title denotes this is a shitpost thread, yet people give stern, serious replies? Can't say I expected any different from Serenes.

this is how i shitpost

i'm even using lowercase and ignoring periods, how much more do you want from me

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Pillars of modern warfare, such as battle panties and mismatched leggings, have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of modern warfare, such as support conversations and varied objectives, may have a place in Valentia.

Pillars of modern warfare, such as the Whitewings of Macedon, should have a place in Valentia.  Who knows?

Pillars of modern warfare, such as archers who can't fight enemies from point blank range, have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare, such as repetitive "shooty, shooty" gameplay, generic plots about Russian terrorists, and the constant return of Captain Price, a man who apparently is immortal, have no place in... wait, this is getting out of hand.

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1 hour ago, Dayni said:

Pillars of modern warfare, such as imoutos and lolis, have no place in Valentia

Pillars of modern warfare, such as Avatars and good accuracy, have no place in Valentia

Pillars of modern warfare, such as whining and wishing for the past, have no place in Valentia

Pillars of modern warfare, such as good axes and ranged swords, have no place in Valentia!

 

Yeah, much as the line could have been hilarious, the way it's going to be used is going to kill the joke.

Probably my favorite post yet.

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32 minutes ago, Wayward Alchemist said:

Pillars of Greco-Roman architecture and stylization, such as those which support the Parthenon, have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of modern warfare, such as launching a 95 kilogram stone projectile over 300 meters, have no place in valencia.

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Pillars of modern warfare, such as brutal RNG to the EXTREME have no place in Valentia

Pillars of modern warfare, such as anime politics have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of "chivalry", such as "THE GLORY OF NOHR" have no place in Valentia

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Pillars of Modern Warfare such as programmers incapable of designing a separate Health and Mana guage for mages have every place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as weapon triangles and weapon ranks have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare such as little girls morphing into dragons have no place in Valentia.

Pillars of Modern Warfare, such as the Fire Emblem appearing at all in the plot have no place in Valentia.

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