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Let's Play Final Fantasy Tactics (WOTL): The Nadir of Videogames


Parrhesia
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8 hours ago, Integrity said:

(i know what you were going for because i also know what she's like in ff7 but she did literally nothing lol)

She convinced Cloud to wear a dress, which is one of the biggest accomplishments in gaming IMO.

Man, what a doozy of an update.  At least Agrias had an excuse for talking like. . .that.

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Update 50
In Which We End the Memes

Spoiler

 

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These cunts. These are the last knights in the game.

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Folmarv leaves. Let's kill a bunch of templarate goons.

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They're all level 50 and it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference.

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So memorable.

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This has been a long time coming. Now, this game's OST - I'm not personally the biggest fan, I think it's Pretty Good on the whole, but I haven't really linked any of it. But at this climactic moment in the game? Please listen to Loffrey's theme.

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A rude bitch, he instantly breaks Agrias' armour and almost kills her. He's much the same as he was before, though. A liminal knight with Defence Boost and high faith, a big red button screaming 'use offensive magic', oops.

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Helpfully, Iaido takes out the mage charging a firefuck on Agrias, and the heal (presumably) the summoner had charged on that mage fizzles.

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Remember that one-of-a-kind Genji armour? Gone forever. Japed again.

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The Japester's gone too far this time.

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But in the end... he had japed his last.

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Ish.

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Iiiif you say so, game.

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KILL COUNTER

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Edited by Parrhesia
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15 hours ago, eclipse said:

She convinced Cloud to wear a dress, which is one of the biggest accomplishments in gaming IMO.

nah i mean she did literally nothing in wotl

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Update 51
In Which We Find the Place that Boats Go to Die

Spoiler

 

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His noble sacrifice was to transport us to the necrohol. Had he not done that we would've been stranded in Orbonne holding our dicks in our hands.

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Let's do this.

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Cletienne immediately eats two gunshots to the face and runs off to resurrect this guy.

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It is at this juncture I realise I forgot to rearmour Thurio and Agrias and then the samurai put protection and shell on everyone.

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You know, for all the good it does them.

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I like the templars just standing around confused.

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What.

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Well.

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Barich, if you've understandably forgotten, is a Mustadio. Thanks to this game's Unique deployment system, I've stranded Thurio out in the arse end of nowhere where he's absolutely irrelevant to the fight.

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Bye chemist and sole opposition to our dominance. Last human enemy of the game? Think he was.

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Unfortunately, Selkie's dead.

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Mercurio is the maths lady meme rn.

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If, again, you've understandably forgotten since we fucking killed Barich, he was a populist.

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'Randomly cutting words out of sentences' is A++ localisation technique.

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You know I thought there were at least fewer of these fucking conversations in Act 4.

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Thankfully, these fuckers finally are dying off for real.

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For reasons that are unclear, the game ends in the Airship Graveyard.

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Chiliad means millennium.
"Millennium doesn't have enough grandeur, I need help from the 17th century" - Tom Slattery

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And before I can even open Paint.net to do his template...

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Folmarv has other ideas.

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Tomorrow, we're going to fucking end this shit.

KILL COUNTER
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We've fought all the humans we're going to fight.

 

 

Edited by Parrhesia
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Update 52
In Which We Finish the Story

Spoiler

 

LET'S GET THIS SHIT STAR-

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Or not apparently, 100% Stop is also good and cool I guess!! Hashmal levels up from this.

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THE LONGEST TILE.

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eat shit hashmal

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It's around now that the crew finally unstops.

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shut up mercurio

oh yeah alma's on the battlefield dying or some shit, but she's like guest-dead so you don't have to worry about crystals.

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No need to worry about that, Hashmal. It's Dark Age Ivalice - women don't get agency.

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In my headcanons Hashmal only says really short incomplete sentences because he's asthmatic.

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Does anyone actually like Lucavi fights?

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Thanks to FFT's unique approach to game design, I accidentally move Agrias to the wrong space because there's shit everywhere and I can't see where I'm going, her new space can't actually hit him with anything, she isn't at the arbitrary perfect height to resurrect Selkie and I can't take back the move.

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No dramas though, this one does it.

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Then Alma wakes.

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Hi!

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This is actually the origin story to 13 Reasons Why.

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I hate pausing through all this shit to try and capture these animations.

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Yaaaay!

Wow conveniently Hashmal drops the fucking Ragnarok for some reason... and 15k gold. It's 24-power (which is the strongest thing we have) but doesn't give auto-haste. Agrias gets it, Mercurio gets Excalibur. We get a chance to redeploy.

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Anyway here we are.

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Why is Alma the only vessel for Dark Jesus? Nobody knows.

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Well Alma and Dark Jesus are irreconcilable so their drift implodes and well now there's two of them.

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I guess Ajora is female now despite the entire rest of the game referring to him as male.

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noun

    1. 1.
    2. the testing of a metal or ore to determine its ingredients and quality.
"submission of plate for assay"
synonyms:
evaluation, assessment, analysis, examination, test, trial, check, inspection, appraisal, investigation, scrutiny, probe
    3. "new plate was taxed when it was brought for assay"

verb

    1. 1.
    2. determine the content or quality of (a metal or ore).
"the man who assayed gold was more than a technician"

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"We didn't know what else to put on the map so we dumped some Ultima Daemons on you again"

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Thank fuck, all that shit blocking line of sight is gone.

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Right, let's get into it.

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Stupidly, Ajora is either a Capricorn or a Scorpio. Idk whichever one that is. This is dumb because the entire point is they have 12 zodiac disciples. There's even the weird U-tilde zodiac, Ophiuchus, coded in the game! A stupid, careless mistake.

Related note, missed opportunity in FFT - where the fuck was the Germonik Lucavi working in opposition to the others? That would've been great.

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Alma's Alma.

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She, like Mercurio, also gets Ultima if she's hit with it and survives.

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You know, I didn't actually know Ajora HAD an attack. Anyway that's Alma out of commission.

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Let's just go ahead and call the Ultimas 'not a threat'.

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She can teleport anywhere like a prick.

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However; Portia.

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"this isn't quite heavy-handed enough, let's just have them say casually that the Beoulves are descended from Presumably Virtuous Longinus"

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Bye

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Hi

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Rez Alma 'cause fuck it.

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You could've walked that!

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Mercurio keeps the outrageous self-buffing going.

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We pour on almost two thousand damage while they charge. Also Alma fails to get a 7% Aegis on Thurio.

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The Divine Ultima animation is really dumb it's just like the entire screen is white until it suddenly isn't anyway it kills Portia.

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Ajora dispels the Aegis.

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Alma immediately gets to reapplying it, Selkie brings Portia back up.

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And this. This 420 damage.

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I can't even make it up. It kills Ajora.

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And then the explosion kills everyone.

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Aaaand... TIME!

In the original PS1 it congratulated you for beating the game. I have no idea why it doesn't anymore.

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They all say Faram which is further proof that it isn't just Dark Christianity because Christians say 'Amen' in the exact same way duh but yeah Alma's fucking dead.

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So yeah everyone died.

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But our buddy Valmafra's still alive! Somehow? I dunno.

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God, fuck this game. Why can't Valmafra speak for herself?

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One theory as she points to the side and runs off is that Delita cut her fucking tongue out. I hate the idea of that, which means it's probably what happened.

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He died on the fucking bench.

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So just in case you weren't yet convinced that this was one of the worst endings in videogame history...

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If you can't write an ending, just load it with cryptic bullshit and claim it's up to reader interpretation! Garbage is now deep. Canonically, Mercurio and Alma do make it out according to word of God, presumably nobody else does, everyone else - even Boco is fucking dead, if Cid is, which he is.

This scene is far less awful if Mercurio and Alma are hallucinations - that explains why they didn't stop to say hi. And how they survived, since they didn't.

Watch the final cutscene.

Wrap-up and final thoughts tonight.

FINAL KILL COUNTER
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The sound stops working midway through the credits.

 

 

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Capped off the end with Orran having a lovely barbeque steak and stake in his name. Because yummy Astrologer steak, mmm.

 

How many times has Mercurio said "Alma, I'm coming!" or variants of that phrase? I feel it's close to double digits if not there.

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They all still followed to the mysterious hidden Necrohol which exploded. Cid dies regardless of whether or not he was deployed, so everyone else likely does as well.

The Necrohol was, incidentally, called Murond Death City in the original.

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fuck it

Finale

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Yet again, Delita ignores how nobility works. He does not get to be the King. Ovelia gets to be Queen. Delita gets to be her King-Consort. That is not the same as being a monarch, which he isn't.

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Agrias' knife.

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Most likely, yes.

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What a pointless fucking ending this is.

Final Thoughts
Well, that's the end of the game, I guess. Everyone is dead. Thurio, Selkie and Portia, our faithful companions, are dead. Mercurio and Alma are ~supposedly~ alive but they fucking aren't, it makes even less sense if they got out of the Godsplosion and nobody else did. Not only are we dead, but Ovelia, Larg, Goltanna, the entire Beoulve family, Cid Orlandeau, Elmdore and pretty much anyone with any church connections is dead. Delita is only maybe alive and in any case just killed the queen, so. Ivalice returns to being a power vaccuum and presumably falls to theocracy, since Orran makes it all of like five years before being burned at the fucking stake. We accomplished NOTHING. The world is even more fucked than it was when we started. All we did was kill a handful of power figures along the way, watch Delita do everything and then kill Dark Jesus, which I guess is something, but we failed to stop him from being summoned in the first place and oh yeah did I mention we all fucking died? This is an acceptable Bad Ending. This is FFT's only ending.
 
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Enemy variety was a massive problem throughout FFT. 64 knights, 52 archers, 24 black magi. And twelve templars (counting two of the Wiglafs), eight of Celia and Lettie and inexplicably just three white magi. We recruited fifteen guys, plus Muriel in a lost save file. Bruce the Chemist was our only death. The game foisted seventeen birds on us in all, Boco as grand progenitor, and we were able to commit a shenanigan with them.

The difficulty curve was absurdly all over the place. Act 1 sucked. You were all deeply underpowered and underlevelled, dependent on underpowered, underlevelled guests. Then you got handed overpowered guests for Act 2 and then the game ramped up and it was incredibly tough in places. Act 3 they finally removed our guests, and unfortunately it was the nadir of the game's plot, and also the Fucking Wiglaf Duel which can be a fucking run-stopper in certain circumstances. Fortunately, our Mercurio was strong. Act 4 was a fucking trainwreck. It took until Act 4 for our characters to finally hit their strides and then suddenly become unstoppable. The Fucking Dam was the last genuinely difficult map. I respect the Dam. The hardest overall was definitely that cliff with the first summoners on it, though. All restarts were on-camera, there weren't too many all in all. The playtime was around 45 hours.

There isn't a lot to say about character design. Mercurio and Thurio took different routes to being incredibly swaggy immortal combat gods, Portia and Selkie beelined for the most interesting class in the game and offered ranged combat options. If you really like charge times you can use offensive magic. It's not my thing, not with just five units. Agrias was fucking absurd as soon as she got the Excalibur in her hands and it's terrifying to think she's the weakest of the three paladins. A Cid and Mercurio duo from when you get him would be trivial. A weird thing sort of happened by Act 4 start where everyone was sort of... everything. Like basically everyone besides Agrias had almost all of both trees unlocked. Which was weird.

Almost everything WotL added was terrible. The only exception was the cutscenes, and even they just flat-out called the protagonist Ramza, a feat which, I stress, THE ENTIRETY OF FF10 managed to avoid. The translation was fucking garbage, the sidequests were mostly dreadful and there's a nasty spell animation slowdown if left unpatched (so... if played on its actual consoles).

There are so many missed opportunities both in plot and gameplay. A FFT2 would genuinely be interesting to check out. This, sadly, is a puzzlingly inferior clone of Tactics Ogre, made by the same team a year prior. Its good reputation stems largely from being played as a sort of gateway drug to proper TRPGs by teenagers who mistake the shower of proper nouns as !!politics!! I was taken in by it myself, and there's no doubt that it, like Fire Emblem 4 (though I like FE4, it's deeply flawed), has a sort of grandeur to it. They were ambitious. They just didn't reach the mark.

If you do like FFT, of course, that's your opinion. It's the most common opinion to have. If you want to debate that point, feel free to post here. I just... clearly do not see whatever it is you see.

I think that just about does it. Good LP, everyone. Expect me to get restless and start the next one in like a week lmao

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i don't know why but both parts of the ending are really funny to me

like, everyone's sad and mercurio and alma are dead, but then they show up riding their bird dudes through the area. they're not even subtle about it, they're just. riding their bird dudes. out in the open. 

and then the one with delita and ovelia is like

delita just comes in and says something nice and ovelia fucking stabs him

and then she says angry things and then he stabs her

it almost feels like it was funny on purpose I can imagine the seinfeld theme starting to play when she stabs him already

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The Shank of Life(tm)

---

Where do I even start?

I think my opinion of FFT may be something of a weird one considering most others who've posted in this topic. I've only barely played the game myself, both original NA PS1 and WotL versions and never getting past the Dorter Slums. I could easily say that it was due to other interests at the time but I think, deep down, I couldn't ever really get a grasp of the combat system as well as I could with FFTA which, for all of that game's faults both known and lesser, was still a really fun ride for me, even having played it recently. Looking back it's still not as intuitive to grasp, as I only have a basic knowledge of the mechanics at a deeper level, plus with how slow the game can be it's a hard sell to get back to. (Not being able to cancel moves sucks a lot, I agree)

I finally got to see the whole game played through twice thanks to one of my close friends and I did enjoy it - I liked the aesthetic, some of the characters(like Agrias and Mustadio), and even enjoyed the writing(both playthroughs were of WotL and as mentioned earlier, I do still enjoy the prose even if it's hella goofy, and Ciaran has the right idea in feeling like the plot is "good" because it trusses itself up as being "dark, gritty, and political"). Though Chapter 3 always made me wretch.

 

But I look back on it now again... Oh dear.

I've come to realize that I don't exactly hold the same attachment to the game as many others, mainly because I never got personally involved with the game, only secondhand. I guess now my opinion is sort of... indifferent? Like this game has clearly not aged that well mechanically, and the story is... uh... Mmm. It's not very good in hindsight.

Like I could get behind the first two chapters, sure, but we've all seen how much of a shitshow Ch. 3 is, and by Ch. 4 it all just seems like it's... going through the motions. Similar to FE4, it all just feels like it's wrapping up this intricate political gamble in the most basest and rather pedestrian form it could - "ooooh spooky demons are evil and are doing evil things because evil jerkwads oooooo" I've never really connected with endgame because... what's there to connect with? Aside from watching your party die at the end except for Ramza and Alma and Delita unceremoniously offing Ovelia leaves the world much worse for wear. What have you done as a player? 'Cuz all it seems you did was watching Ramza milquetoast his way through map after map with his glowing dimwitted optimism and get fuck all for it. And it leaves a super hollow feeling.

Now that I've seen the game in two lights - one positive and one negative, it does help me reevaluate the game and my feelings toward it, and it's again indifference. I can't really hold it to any virtue since I've barely played it, but I can compare the other two entries more favorably now. Even Tactics Ogre I ended up getting into because of FFT and started playing Knight of Lodis and Let Us Cling Together(PSP). I don't have much to say on the former as it's been a while but I do remember enjoying it, but LUCT, mmm. That's a nice one indeed. Still need to finish it one day.

 

Oh right there was a point here. Uhh, this game...

Meh.

It has Agrias, Mustadio, and Construct 8, I'll take those and run, thanks.

Good run all the same, Ciaran. The Kill Count may not have become a void but it shall remain a testament to all. (  ' v')b

Edited by Mage Knight 404
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The Ophiuchus sign has neutral compatibility to every other sign, it's also exclusive to Elidibus, the secret boss that lies at the end of Deep Dungeon. (There's also yet another party member there, you get him if he survives the battle against Elidibus).

Well... was a good LP while it lasted.

Edited by SoloCross
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12 minutes ago, Mage Knight 404 said:

Knight of Lodis and Let Us Cling Together(PSP). I don't have much to say on the former as it's been a while but I do remember enjoying it

Good news; it's going to be the next LP.

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To be honest, all I asked for in FFT was the presence of classic FF job classes on a turn based tactical map to duke it out...which was exactly what I paid for. Very small request but, eh I was happy when I played it and grinded for days.

Also, unique sprites for both male and female versions of the class(Something I can't get over in FFTA/2, only one androgenous look :<). Female Black mage spites are criminally underused!

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