Chad Radwell

Badly summarize your favourite game in the series

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Villain who already rules the world in a different reality decides to get his ass whooped in another.

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"My son has to live in the middle of fuck-off nowhere then kill me and can't know he's my son until after I'm dead because...reasons..."

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Some cool ladies have their spotlight stolen by Sword Jesus, who kills god, ends racism and goes on a cruise with his boyfriend.

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Passed out amnesiac drunk gets promoted to commander of the army, fucks the king or his daughter from the future (or both) and sacrifices themself to kill Satan that spawned from the future version of themselves only to come back to life because they didn't get enough beer.

Edited by shadowofchaos

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Once upon a time, there was a mysterious man... or was it a woman? Well, anyway, once upon a time, there was a mysterious stranger who awoke on the side of a road on a sunny day to discover that they were surrounded by concerned faces. There was a handsome, square-jawed prince, the prince's plucky younger sister who was definitely NOT delicate, and their steadfast servant and bodyguard. The stranger must have been hit on the head or something, because they couldn't remember a thing other than their own name: Reflet! No, wait, I think it was Robin. Or was it Kamui? Corrin? Pat? Leigh? Ainsley? Yuri?

Look, their name isn't important. What is important is that they were very strong, but kind of slow on the uptake. Or was it the other way around? They definitely were naturally talented at something, and they definitely had a weak point as well... You know, it's funny, every time I hear this story, it seems like these details are different... Ah! That's it! The barista at Tully's said the stranger was quite sturdy, but kind of unlucky, so let's go with that.

Aaaaaanyway, one thing that is always the same is that our forgetful stranger was quite lovely, or handsome, or whatever, and that everyone that got to know them very quickly became infatuated with them on some level. Some say that when the handsome prince and the bubbly princess and their suspicious steward found him or her, it was love at first sight. Yes, even for the dubious knight. He was very devoted to his charges, however, and tried not to let the almost supernatural attractiveness of our mystery man or woman cloud his judgement. In fact, it seemed that everywhere they went, there were more and more people who flocked to the side of the stranger in spite of a strange preoccupation with books, mind exercises, and games. Why did our stranger have such a passion for these things, you ask? Well, this might not have been the first time they hit their head, or drank themselves into a stupor, or got themselves into a bit of memory trouble through other, more outlandish means, and maybe they had developed these desires as a kind of mental exercise or trigger to regain their memories. But we're getting sidetracked again. Back to how all the dudes wanted to bang them... or was it the ladies? You know what, it must have been both. That's what an eyegasm this stranger was. And to hear them speak was like sweet poetry for the soul. Whenever they told you something needed to be done, you wanted to do it more than anything in the world. It didn't matter how strange or complicated their plans were, because you knew that as long as you followed them, you would be victorious. And when they told you it was going to be alright, you were safe... Oh, don't mind me, I was just reminisc- err, trying to remember the next part of the story.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, even though the country was led by nice, attractive young people, its neighbors held a grudge against it, because of some bad blood with the previous ruler, who was apparently a massive a-hole. It kinda makes you wonder how his kids turned out as nice as they did. First there was a fabulous dastard of a king who drove the nice prince and princess' big sister to suicide! Then there was the brutal-yet-honest conquerer who had a weird masculine charisma who treated everyone like they were on a football team and he was the quarterback that would take them to the superbowl, and then there was the evil death cult who the time travelers were trying to-

Oh man! I completely forgot about the time traveling girl from the future! So yeah, at some point in the future an evil cult brought a giant demon-dragon-god-thing to life, and then people died and came back as zombies, and there was some assassination subplot where the handsome prince got stabbed in the night but somehow lived long enough to have a daughter and teach her how to fight, and honestly the timeline and sequence of events in this bad future is a confusing jumble, so I'm going to take the easy way out and skip to the part where the future-princess grew up and found a way to travel back in time that, against all odds, doesn't involve a phone booth or a Delorean (probably because they would be too small to fit everyone), and took all of her friends with her to change the past. And then it turns out that she was the amnesiac stranger's daughter! Or maybe their niece! Or Was the twist that the stranger was from the future too, and she was their future wife? I'm pretty sure they have a kid from the future that pops up, but then that child is supposed to be a nerd like them, not a bad-ass sword-wielding princess... Was it a boy? Wait, the first one from the future was definitely a girl, right? But then they called themselves Marth, and the original Marth was a hero-king, not a princess, soooo...

...You know what? This time travel storyline sounded really cool, but it probably should have been its own separate story, as like a sequel to this one, so the time traveling girl (or boy, I'm unsure of everything about it now) could have had more time in the spotlight, and she wouldn't have had to compete with the the hotter-than-the-sun stranger with no memories, who is the real star of this show.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, so there was an evil dragon cult who summoned their god, and it looked like the time-traveling girl and her friends had basically done nothing to change the past other than make their parents (most of whom had not even married each other yet) uncomfortable, and even worse, it turns out that the mysterious stranger was the dragon-god-thing's avatar the whole time! What a twist! The leader of the cult, who looked nothing like him or her, was their father! And the reason they had amnesia in the first place was because the demon-dragon-god-thing did a terrible job of trying to possess them and flip the control switch in their brain! It definitely isn't a convenient excuse not to explain how or why they escaped from the cult, or why they were such a good person, when by all rights they would have been treated like evil cult royalty and raised on a steady diet of  evil cult values. Our heroes killed a whole lot of zombies and cultists, and along the way found love, and in the end, the great evil was sealed into a thousand-year slumber by the handsome prince, who shared an awesome high-five with his best friend, or wife, or whatever, and it became somebody else's problem in another thousand years.

Wait, that's not right, is it? I'm pretty sure the dragon was slain by the stranger, who selflessly sacrificed themselves for the sake of the future. Everyone who had joined their harem army was really sad about about losing them, each one thinking about their favorite part of the stranger's anatomy, which was obviously their butt. I don't know why this is even a debate. Then, quite unexpectedly, the stranger woke up on the side of the road again. It was the same road as before! And the attractive trio were there to greet them again! It was like the kind of shenanigans you would see in an episode of Doctor Who! There was one major difference this time, though: the brand on their hand that marked them as the demon-dragon-god-thing was gone. Perhaps things would be different this time around.

Thus was the tale of, um, Aiden, the hero of time!

(Technically Path of Radiance is my favorite, but it was covered pretty well at the beginning of this thread.)

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FE3 (Book 2) / FE12

Hardin gets pissy and becomes a bad guy. Marth being the goodie-good-guy he is stands up against him, but gets wrecked, some random dragon filler stuff to explain FE1 plotholes. Marth returns and beats Hardin (well Marth sucks, so someone else beats up Hardin) OH NO TOTAL SURPRISE SOMEONE ELSE WAS PULLING THE STRINGS!!! (never would of guessed), slay dark magic user, slay boss dragon, day is saved.

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You carefully select your husband/wife so your future is not doomed. end.

plz awakening fans dont burn me alive

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A bunch of teenagers gang up to kill an old man who just wants to be with his children.

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Tight-lipped waif dooms world for DLC.

Sheltered albino defeats pudding-monster by invading Japan.

Weaboo albino finds his true family, loses them and finds them again. Marries his sister who isn't his sister.

Albino Jesus unites the world against his crazy dad. Becomes the king of a country without land or people.

Edited by NekoKnight

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An Idiot enables the destruction of an entire nation in order to show to everyone who the real bad guy is.

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On 6/4/2017 at 8:03 PM, Altina said:

Villain who already rules the world in a different reality decides to get his ass whooped in another.

I never thought it that way. Awakening is a piece of work alright.

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1 hour ago, Ein said:

I never thought it that way. Awakening is a piece of work alright.

It was a great game, and a terrific story until they had the time skip, and time travelling complex, but even then it's my favorite game. lol

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On 6/7/2017 at 10:35 PM, NekoKnight said:

Tight-lipped waif dooms world for DLC.

Sheltered albino defeats pudding-monster by invading Japan.

Weaboo albino finds his true family, loses them and finds them again. Marries his sister who isn't his sister.

Albino Jesus unites the world against his crazy dad. Becomes the king of a country without land or people.

Interesting, could you be talking about Fates: Conquest and/or Fates: Revelation, or am I way off? Or waittt you mean Fates in general!?

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2 hours ago, Altina said:

Interesting, could you be talking about Fates: Conquest and/or Fates: Revelation, or am I way off? Or waittt you mean Fates in general!?

Conquest and Hoshido together, and then Conquest, Hoshido and Revelation.

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A badass guy kills a former badass, is like 'You ain't badass', some kid shows up, he's a scrub, then a Lion makes him go aw shit.

Fast forward and that same scrub-lookin' ass scrub shows up again, his buddy who loves pets was about to get stabbed but I guess escape maps don't care so whatever.

Fast forward again and this badass was doing some paperwork because people who do paperwork are the real heroes until he hears that scrub-ass ain't a scrub-ass.

He goes to whoop that scrub-ass in a fair fight for once, and probably wins I don't know wait 'til the sequel.

The end.

Local asshole dethroned and demoralised, find out how at shitty Mystery-Wannabe island.

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Useless redhead saves his magical girl princess waifu, ends the tyranny of a guy with daddy issues, and assaults a defenseless woman.

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A dude with remarkably normal colored hair tries to reclaim his homeland in a small scale bloody conflict that eventually boils down to dudes waving sticks at each other and randomly passing out or being unable to speak.

Edited by Batter the Beast

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Local Prince ruins everything by not dealing with his self esteem issues and making a deal with the devil

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Young woman first liberates her country from an occupying power, then is blackmailed into fighting the father of her boyfriend's children.

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Mary Sue and Edgelord try to make post-WWI Germany into a better place by teaming up with 2 teenagers and a Chuck-Norris lookalike. It goes about as well as you'd expect until Princess Mononoke joins up with her for some reason, and then the goddamn Bat Man decides he's going to help. They liberate post-WWI Germany, but the new leader is a fake Hitler before he was Hitler who is in deep shit after the war since some asshole from Chinamerica says he'll start WWII if fake Hitler doesn't do what he says.

WWII happens anyway because people are racist bastards and a nihilistic 1,000-year old bishounen wants the world to end. He pulls some strings, a bitch wakes up and nukes the world with a stone bomb, and all the good guys have to climb the Empire State Building to smack a bitch. They then have to cast Polymerization on the bitch and a little girl to turn the bitch into her original non-bitchy self, and the world miraculously becomes un-stone-nuked. Happy end.

Edited by Pepperyena

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A prince, his butler on a horse, and his not-so-delicate battle nun sister recruit an amnesiac dragon and daughter from the future to fight bad guys with the power of friendship

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