Saint Rubenio Posted August 11, 2017 Author Share Posted August 11, 2017 (edited) Ruben, Sir Sirius is more powerful than Sir Arran. You'd do well to bring him to battle in his stead. Don't be ridiculous, Arran is a great General, and a worthy warrior. Sirius barely surpasses him. I'm serious, you shouldn't keep pushing Sir Arran like this, he isn't in any condition to fight. But he DOES want to find his end in battle, does he not? Perhaps, but... Guys! There seem to be two cute girls in that forest overthere! We ought to help them! Damnit Luke, Rody and I were finally having a friendly chat without me trying to kill him! Back off, Ruben. He's my oldest friend. You're the old geezer who's tried to murder me countless times. ...why do I talk to you before every update? I can't think of anything. How about you, Luke? OH GOD ONE OF THE GIRLS IS A GUY WITH LONG HAIR AAUUUUUAAAAARRRGH! Part 14 - The price of greed. Spoiler I do wonder who'll be recruited by us today. ...oh, wow, Scarlet is actually a character from Fates. Huh. In case it wasn't obvious already, I am not the most up-to-date fan of this series. I love the games I did play to death (the GBA ones and 12. Yeah, I know, it's too little. Also played a little bit of 11 and 9, but ended up quitting, can't remember why), but I'm not very familiar with the modern ones. This is mostly an issue of me not being much of a console player. I do have the 3ds but never got around to buying the games for it. You know, there is something I don't understand. How did so many random people get a hold of their Starshards? I can wrap my head around some of them, like Elrean, but Samto? Toras? Rucke? Jeorge? Spoiler alert: We won't. The game reaaaaaally doesn't want you to attack Astram and his guys. Eh, you can always kill a couple Heroes for experience before seizing the gate. It's not so hard in Hard. Maniac and above are a different story, though. Eh, it's all right, but compared to chapter 8 it's little more than a filler. But first, friendly chat! You want my honest opinion? You couldn't have done any better. That was so badass. Yeah, those shoulder spikes just scream kindness. Sadly, Cain's ending proves Jagen didn't actually gain the ability to age backwards. It's all Pretzel's fault, he didn't put enough sentiment behind his cheering. Very capable? He's my worst unit! Well, not quite, but he's certainly my most RNG screwed unit. Things. Exp for Cecille and even more defense for Matthis. Sirius becomes a Paladin again and sits on the bench again. For some reason, I screencap this and not Frey's reclass to Mercenary. Oh well. You all came here to watch me fail, anyways. Frey gets Taurus, because Matthis has so much defense he doesn't need it, and the latter pulls Libra out of the convoy. Hopefully it'll help him with his low crit problem. That crap's going to cost me a unit one of these days. Oh. Crap he's not happy with my decision. Pretzel, defend me! Never mind I've more defense than you, and I'm a fucking nerd sitting on a chair! I always liked this scene. Pretzel's fine with scoundrels like Castor and Samto, but doesn't like Sirius. I mean, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't either (if his true identity wasn't as blatantly obvious, that is), but there honestly are more people who should also get this treatment. Attaboy, Pretzel. You possess the ability to think. I don't know Pretzel, Matthis is more defensible than him. Also, just a minor nitpick, but how is that changing the subject? He countered your argument in a perfectly reasonable and valid way. Like Castor. Then again, Castor's so bad at his job, I can see why Pretzel doesn't think of him as a scoundrel trying to take advantage of Marth's kindness. Pretzel. Allow me to let you in on a little detail. Nothing very important. Here, I'll whisper it into your ear. HE DOUBLES YOU. DON'T DO IT! You idiot! And so, Pretzel was humilliated in his own camp by this seemingly random Paladin. While we wait for him to wake up, let's check out our map. Dahl is the only character who uses swords in the entire game. Probably because bosses with swords in a game where all maps are seize maps are quite stupid. All they ever have is a crapton of speed and negligible damage with their magic swords. At least here, in Archanea, the continent where nobody has resistance, he can do some mean damage. Astram doesn't move in this difficulty, which is very good for me. We've nobody who can take a coordinated assault by 7-8 Heroes. Formation. Notice the lack of fliers. I thought Matthis would be able to do the job. Before proceeding with the chapter, I recall we got two new units last chapter! Caesar is an unfortunate unit. He's got bad bases, and his growths aren't that good. But he's still usable. Radd has even worse bases and ever so slightly better growths. Still usable, but less so than Caesar. I think that is everything. Time for some more plot. You don't know who he is, do you? "I'll turn no blade of mine on a woman". Cecille would hate you if she ever got to meet you. This is a little weird. Who, exactly, does he want to see? Ogma? Ahahahah. Ahhh. You're so dumb. Blah blah blah, I can't be arsed to read everything again and think of a witty retort. I do love, however, how she somehow managed to get Navarre to show some emotion. It's quite interesting how she did the same to Michalis of all people in one of the DLC chapters. Poor Michalis just so happened to run into her. And now they're playable! Navarre's yet another swordie. Probably the best of them all, too. His strength is a little on the low side, and his defense is neigh non-existent, but other than that, he's fine. He's very much, a Myrmidon. He didn't define the class as a whole for nothing. Feena's got potential. He's bases are absolutely atrocious, but her growths are huge. Which is... actually, quite a surprise to me. I never bothered to use her, because I rarely use Dancers after their joining chapters (they always tend to fall behind and be useless). I know, I know, that's the sign of a bad, casual player, what were you expecting by this point? Navarre inmediately gets to defending the annoying bimbo by killing this Thief. Then Wrys brings her to us. She can't stay there. It would be a minor inconvenience to lose her. A rather boring turn passes, and we keep moving north. There's a Thief trying to flank us, but he couldn't forsee one thing. We've the Pope on our side. And this guy. Navarre murders a Hunter. Unlike Feena, he's capable of taking care of himself. And here we have Astram being bipolar. Keep reading. So... you want yourself and your troops to be the ones to stop us but... you forbid your troops of stopping us...? Navarre is attacked by this Thief. Not gonna lie, my friend, that is awful. What a great sign of things to come! Matthis finally catches up with the angelic robe Thief. I missed the master seal Thief, but that's quite all right, there's another one later on. And here come the reinforcements. These guys are so annoying. These two enemies form an alliance to try to take down a common menace to the two of them. They fail spectacularly. Navarre, meanwhile, is cutting it real close, but help is on the way. This asshole goes for Pretzel. He has cancer, which helps him a little. And we're in a little of a bad spot. Matthis cannot attack anyone but the Thief this turn, or else we lose the robe and our one chance of making Yumina viable. Like so. Now, I have to figure out how to handle everything else. Look at that mess! So many enemies. Pretzel bombards the second Cavalier, while Cecille kills the Mage. So far, so good. Our two healers get Navarre back on his feet. Not that it matters. Pretzel's going to die any moment now. Sigh oh well, one more reset for the pile. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH She's still alive. I think I'm in love. A thousand curses, but at least she's still alive. I won't have to resort to Haddock's argot. Yumina and Wendell are all attacked by Dahl's pals. And, predictably, Pretzel dies. Again. I'd make a mugshot of him and give him Rody's role in the LP, but he has enough screentime as it is. This time, we inmediately rescue Feena. I move Matthis as much as I possibly can and dance for him. Maybe now I'll be able to kill the master seal Thief. Look at him go. I bet he wasn't expecting this to happen back when he was throwing javelins at Li-- At Arran. Back when he was throwing javelins at Arran. The rest of our army slowly but surely moves north. Crap! I forgot to move Navarre! And this time, I haven't had a shitty-ass day to excuse myself! But I'm sure he won't get killed. He crits this guy. Good work, Navarre. Jesus, they destroyed him. But there's no way somebody else can reach him. Is there? ... I... Let this be a testiment of how much I like/care about Navarre. I refuse to let the Mage spawn. Except I'll have to, because he spawns next turn, when I'll be forced to move Matthis to kill the Thief. Wendell goes to wear down the Thief for Castor, but decides he's more worthy of the experience. Oh I agree, I agree! But I thought you had no love for war, Wendell? As I said, Matthis moves away from the fort. Even with Feena's dance, he was one square short of being able to throw a javelin at the master seal Thief. Not that it matters much. Unless he got a critical hit, he'd still have been forced to choose between the seal and the robe. And, quite honestly, I'd rather take the robe, there isn't exactly any shortage of promotional items in this game. The others move forward. Oh god the Mage kills Matthis in two hits. Curse you, Thief, for doing one damage to Matthis! Once our turn comes, we do this. Don't worry, I'm making extra sure not to leave her in range of the ridersbane. Okay, here's the plan. Matthis does this, claims the robe and... We burn another rescue charge for him. That's one thing I like about this game. Usually, the rescue staff is handed to you really late into the game, and ends up rotting inside the convoy. Here, they give it to you as early as chapter 4 with more charges than usual and infinite range, which allows me to use it a little more freely than I would in other games. The blueheaded bros team up to kill this guy. ...nah that doesn't work. Castor is nowhere near Frey's level of awesomeness. I'm pretty sure he would die if they killed him! Frey would survive dying if he had to, but he's still working to avoid the occurrence. Formation. I feel confident enough of our chances here. The ridersbane, deprived of a rider to bane, decides to go after Arran for some reason. Pretzel fights an inferior opponent, and Windell once more crits his attacker into oblivion. Looks like I didn't even need to equip Yumina's nosferatu. She just dodged his enemy's poor attempt at a strike. And the last of the Cavaliers goes after Pretzel. I planned all of this. I wonder if I'll be able to plan before losing Pretzel once before the end of this LP. Wrys is above his average magic and defense, but severely behind in HP. I don't know if I'll be promoting him. Probably not, but hey, it's Wrys. His metamorphical hair would truly be an asset in the battles to come. Cecille kills this Hunter. If only she had some more durability... she'd give Matthis a run for his money. We do some clean-up. While the others do that, Wendell heals Matthis so he can rejoin the fray inmediately. Marth and Arran fight. I let Arran have that Cavalier, it's not a huge loss. And now we dance for Matthis so he can go join Pretzel and Cecille to the north. They'll be needing some help to take out the remaining looters. Castor kill-- Never mind, he failed like Norne before him. Castor, you do know we're getting a prepromoted Sniper next chapter with instant access to Parthia, right? More reinforcements. Urgh. Don't worry about that Thief about to escape. He only has the wo dao. Nobody cares about that. Oh wow. Good work, Marth. I don't think this leaves him open to any other attacks, either. Wendell's very injured. Better get him close to Wrys soon. He does wound the Hunter though, and there's noone left in the eastern side of the map, so he should be pretty safe after we finish him off. What's with these assholes always going for Matthis? You're never going to kill him! Player phase. Castor finishes off the Hunter who foolishly tried to attack the Pope. And here comes the dilemma. Pretzel can one shot only the non-Starshard Thieves. And I'll need both redheaded bros to kill that one. I settle for the master seal. I'd rather lose some money and get one more promotion. I'm not in any need for cash, I've still 7000 gold, and if all else fails, I can always sell the dragonstones. Like so. We now have the speed Starshard, which can be incredibly useful if you use it right. Hah! Astounding! Defense and strength. The lack of HP saddens me, but I guess one can't have everything. You may go, Thief. Do yourself a favour, and use that gold to straighten up. Healing shenanigans! Marth gets his arm back, and with some help from Feena... Oh, nice level. But you're still far from what I'd call an ideal combat unit. ... Wrys tops Frey off. Yumina equips nosferatu once more, and takes her place in the formation. Not sure what's up with this picture. But still, it's there, so you may have it. Frey halves this guy's health. Matthis -- oh hey! Now that's convenient. He also kills the Mage. Once again, nosferatu wouldn't have been necessary here, for Yumina dodged the Cavalier's attack. Scratch that, it's a good thing I equipped it. She'd have died otherwise. I refuse to allow that Mage to appear again! Frey and Yumina finish their jobs. Look, I'm using the glass sword! Good level, Yumina. She finally got skill! Not that she needs it. I'm happier about the HP. Castor gets a level as well. Quite the strength-focused Castor we're getting. You might be wondering, why am I calling everyone by their localized names, but refer to Marth's fiancee as "Sheeda"? Well, the reason is quite simple, really. "Caeda" is very similar to "caida", spanish for "fall". I'd rather not tempt fate. Wendell drinks two vulneraries with some help from Feena, because apparently taking a swig takes as long as summoning an icicle to explode on somebody. With only one enemy nearby, this shouldn't be difficult at all. MORE enemies?! It was a good idea to block the fort! So long, glass sword. You were surprisingly useful. Frey finishes him off once the player phase begins. Matthis heals in preparation to take the final wave of reinforcements on. They made the foolish mistake of splitting up. We'll be showing them the error of their ways. Look a Windell level-up! Sadly, he got shafted in the growth department, but his bases are good enough to let him be of use. A Curate with more movement and the ability to fight is nothing to sneeze at. ...I forgot to talk about Wendell when we got him, did I not? Sigh. We take this defensive stance, just for the Knight. You asshole. It was one of you who almost murdered Cecille. Good thing you were men. Cecille is a strong, independent woman who won't be downed by a filthy male! This guy goes for Matthis. What a fool. Cecille shows him just how much of a fool he was. Matthis rides south and finishes off the Knight. I'd like to get him another level-up before the end of the map. Wendell's amazing. He COULD have gotten a point of magic in his level-up, but he chose not to so I could do this. He gets this level again. No complaints, this level is awesome. Keep at it! Nice level for Wrys! His res is, as usual, the best in my team. You've got to hand it to him, he's one of the best magical tanks the game has to offer. If only he didn't have joke growths... After waiting a few turns to make sure Astram's ran out of reinforcements to throw at us, we begin to creep closer to the Fane of Raman. Uhhhh. Tempting. But Matthis will make better use of the experience. Much better use. With his temporary bonus, he now has as much defense as Arran. I'd like to keep him around until unlocking his final conversation, but it might not be possible. It takes a long time. Okay, Castor's not trying his luck against Dahl. Cecille fares better, but she'll need some help. That's better. Pretzel'll use the last use of his fire tome to show Dahl why the levin sword is not a viable replacement for magic. You know what they say, he who steals from a Thief... I mean, if it was food or supplies or just some gold that you were holding, I'd be more sympathetic. But it's pretty obvious all you want is riches. And down he goes! Minor bosses don't get a bloody portrait. Eh, you can just say they get stabbed in the gut. Eh, not as good as the last one, but it has HP so it's good anyway. Can't leave just yet, though. It is imperative that we get the free physic staff. There comes the dragon. Why a dragon is guarding a physic staff is beyond my comprehension, but eeeehhhh who cares, it's more experience. There we go. This is, sadly, the only level we get. Eh, not bad, she got defense. Excellent. This should prove to be quite useful in Wrys' hands. Now, usually, most people would seize and move on now, but... There's no consequence for killing a hero or two, is there? You'd think they'd suspect we're about to attack them, but it's Astram. He's probably all like "let them come. My Mercurius shall make short work of them!". Well, sorry to disappoint, Astram, but I won't give you the chance to attack. It begins! Here, this is sleet. Whoa. That's horrible. Such a beautiful spell and I had to screenshot the one glitched frame. And Frey ends him. Dangit Frey! I'll let this slide because you've gotten two amazing level-ups today, but this better not happen again. Whoa, Castor. Great job. He's probably trying to make up for being somewhat irrelevant in this chapter. Third Hero! We're on a roll here. Arran weakens-- oh, he missed. Eh, too bad. But I think we can still do it. NO! HE CRITTED! ARRAN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY? WHY DID I HAVE TO DO THAT? AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! And so comes the end of Arran. Quite a fitting ending, too, all things considered. He went overboard in his desire to fight for his liegue and cause, and his illness got in the way, getting him killed. And in his last moments, he was happy, for his conscious was, at last, clear. Farewell, Arran. You were a true Knight. Perhaps too much so. Damn you, heathen! You're going down! He misses, so I risk poking him again. Ah, what's the point. I would've poked him either way, I was pretty pissed off at the time. Too late pal. Nothing can save you now. This is for-- GOD DAMN YOU! DON'T YOU THINK YOU'VE WON, YOU BASTARD! I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME! MARK MY WORDS! Map clear. Pfah. Doesn't mean I've won. I feel defeated, if anything. Jeez, even more so now! We haven't won at all! Bah, I'm sure we'll still conveniently run into everyone who's taken possession of a Starshard. Backstory! Mm. Very interesting. I think we should leave, Astram and his company are still there. ...on second thought, keep expositioning. We're going to murder that bastard. ...wait, Naga was a guy? But I'm pretty sure Nagi-- Oh god no, Nagi's a Lucius. GAH! No, we don't. Because you've already wasted a billion and a half moments! Yeah, sure, waste even more time. Although, this is actually worth it. A Pope hat? For me? You know the drill. Like many others, I consider this to be the best hat in the game. It's still up to you whether we keep our Etzel-like looks, or go for the Pope hat. Dishonorable reset count: 1 Reset count: 3 Death count: Linde                      Samto                       Navarre                       Arran  Edited August 11, 2017 by Rubenio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted August 13, 2017 Author Share Posted August 13, 2017 I must say, I expected you to do badly but... not this badly! Four kills already? ...I think I'd best kill you before this part begins. What is that supposed to-- PERISH! Nooooooooooooooo! ...Luke, how dare you defy me? My defense is still pretty good! Fight me! ...damnit Luke. Part 15 - Hardin's had enough of us. Spoiler Since apparently all of my watchers died Denial. DIEEEEEEEEEED... ...I've decided to get the hat for this chapter, and let you vote whether or not I should keep it. Soulful bridge is a weird name. There are quite a lot of (names) souls in this chapter, for sure, but... Jagen continues his streak of strategical genius by leading us right into the arms of the enemy. I mean, Mercenaries, Archanean soldiers, the Emperor himself... they're all much too lowly to be a threat to the mighty Altean army. Marth will. His friends? Maybe. Ehhh I don't know. Honestly, I think they should've kept the character's hair with the hat. It would improve an already awesome cosmetic. Stuff. Not bad, not bad at all! More experience for our best unit is always appreciated, and the flycatcher will be useful in the future. I am also thankful for Norne's bonus, because... I'm going to try to use her! Not bad, not bad at all. Low HP but her defense is quite good. I also sell this. I don't think I'll ever use any dragons not called Nagi. Tiki's underwhelming, Bantu's even worse, and Nagi's default divinestone is all she needs for her few chapters of availability. Also Yumina reads Castor's secret diary and becomes skilled in the process. Castor never finds out because he sucks at everything other than fighting, the thing he's actually supposed to be bad at canonically if my understanding is correct. Formation time. Feena was later replaced by Sheeda when I remembered about Roger. Cecille and Norne will take care of the Starshard Thief quickly, while Castor and Matthis will take the frontlines, recover Bantu's firestone and face the Paladins. Jeorge is here! You know, I'm noticing quite a few details I never did thanks to the LP. For instance, the fact that Jeorge has no move as a boss. If only they did this to FE11 Wendell or Matthis... And look who's there! The final-ish boss! Yep, you've got to hand it to Hardin: he doesn't fuck around. He's one of the few big bads who actually appears early and tries to kill us personally while he still can. Kudos to you, Hardin. Anyway, time to move-- oh, hey Yumina. What's up? Yeah, it's Yumina, overthere behind the bush. Don't ask. I didn't. But why is there a bush inside this room...? Did you bring it here, Yumina? Jeez! All right, all right. I'll just carry it out myself, then. Grumble grumble. Ah, thank you Wrys. It's real kind of you to plant this bush here. I bet it'll grow into a beautiful tree one day. Eh? I'm sorry, what? GAH! Damnit Castor! You suck even at approaching people without scaring the crap out of them! Augh, this again? What else are you going to give him? The hat? Attaboy, Castor! You're learning! Too late, though. Pretzel's caught on. Wow, and that's actually a half-decent excuse! Not bad, not bad at all! Oh, jesus, even when you do well, you still make things worse. I pity you so much Castor. Now seriously, how exactly does Pretzel not put two and two together and realise Castor goes around offering his life to everybody? Ahhh not quite a masterful liar just yet, eh? But it's all right. You're speaking to the biggest imbecile in the face of this continent, after all. Yeah, just play along... Wait why am I siding with this idiot? Ah right, the sole thought of siding with Pretzel here makes my brain hurt. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO you were doing so well Castor! Why did you have to give it back!? Sigh. Whatever. Let's see what is Matthis up to. Hahahahahahahahahah. Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah. HAAAAAW HAAAAW HAAAW HAAAAAAW HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW Huff... huff... Sorry guys, that was just too good. I mean, don't get me wrong, I respect him for doing this but... couldn't he have asked someone, you know, stronger than him? Matthis, my man, you're miles better than Pretzel in every single way. . ...you'd be happy all the same? Oh, of course, you fear Julian will rescue her. Don't worry, man. He'll save her because the game will only let him do it, but if that wasn't the case, I assure you, you'd be the one to save her. And off he goes, once more. Get back here! I need you for this battle! You are stronger already! The strongest in my army! Ehhh not quite, Hardin still exists. Pfffhahahahah. Awesome. He's so brutally real. How can anyone hate this guy? He's the most relatable guy in the entire fucking cast! Anyway, we can't even walk two meters before we collide face-first into another ally. Cain's alive! Guys. I do believe Hardin, Jeorge and Astram are still around. I mean, sure he's Cain and all, but we need to face the facts. You didn't escape, Cain. Hardin himself is there and has the gradivus and is even stronger than Camus was. The game entrusted this message to Cain to be delivered to us. RUSH LIKE MADMEN TO JEORGE'S FORTRESS. Okay, gotcha. And now we have Cain! The original red Cavalier himself. He's not that bad. Somehow, he's very speed focused now, like Frey, but focuses more on swords. I think he's worse than the inmortal Cavalier because he comes with similar bases a few chapters later. Not too much, but it does matter a little. While worse than in the previous game, he's very usable. Certainly way better than his partner in crime. First things first, Marth runs east. That stupid village is way too out of the way, I swear. I've decided to leave these combat shots uncropped. Partly cause it'll make it less confusing to follow the action, partly because it's such a relief to see 7 or 8 pictures in a row and realise I won't have to crop them all one by one. I feed Norne the Starshard Thief, which is now ours. The Starshard, not the Thief, I don't want a filthy generic Thief. It's one of the best, granting 2 strength. Certainly better than Gemini, +1 to magic and strength more or less means it just grants +1 to whichever of the two the holder actually uses. And as I said earlier, Castor and Matthis take the bridge. I did some math and I do believe Matthis will survive if the ridersbane Paladin attacks him, but just in case... There. Now Matthis cannot be harmed by the javelin-toting Paladin at all. End of the turn. It's not looking too bad, but we've just started, it never looks bad in the first turn. This is the first of three warnings. This one's just flavour text, mostly. I like how nobody finds it strange that Hardin's eyes look like rubies. GAAAH that could've been bad. Roger tries to attack Matthis. I could have killed him, but my incompetence does a good enough job already, no need to help it further. Hahah, wow. This guy's good at everything. Anyway, our favourite failure of a con artist shoots his attacker, and then has his wounds healed by he of the metamorphical hair. And we unleash the Sheeda all over Roger's D. It's already working. Hah hah hah. Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. Jesus, at least this time he can't talk to Marth but... wow. I wonder what Marth thinks of this. Don't get me wrong, I wonder what he thinks of his wife being a manipulative snake, not the "seduction of a horny stranger" part. I'll be frank with you guys, he does have a point. Or at least, in the real world he would. We're 20~ guys, they're 200. But of course, it's Fire Emblem: each of us count for 10. Then again, Hardin counts for 100 so we're still losing, but eh, details. I can just see the puppy-dog eyes as she strategically lets her collar and gravity do the rest. And now she starts to slooooooowly fly away... facing her rear directly towards Roger... He gazes upon the advantages of being with the Alteans... And he submits. And Sheeda sighs in relief, for he had almost fallen off the bridge trying to lean closer. Roger's as bad at being a Knight as Draug. He's very fast, and his luck is through the roof, so his potential lies within the Myrmidon class. There's a General we'll get in some chapters that's way better at being a wall than either of the two Knights (growthwise, at least). After her victorious psychological campaign, Sheeda decides to deal insignificant damage to this Paladin. Nice level-up, although I don't think I'll be using you anyway. Roger inmediately flees to the rear and heals the wounds from Matthis' trusty javelin. Pretzel, if you crit this one, you'd make me very happy. Of course, I'd forgotten you aren't a good unit at all. Jesus Christ I swear. Did you know my first MU was also a Mage? Yeah! He also had very power-focused growths, but he actually made them work and became an amazing powerhouse. Pretzel's the worst MU I've ever had! He's so throughoutly screwed in everything but HP! I'm already starting to think giving him a speedwings might be a waste! Here comes the tense part. Yumina, I want you to live. You're my last hope for a female Mage before Katarina! Malicia doesn't count! But before that, another old acquaintance! Aw too bad. We didn't get Tiki yet. Such sad. No seriously, she would suck less if she joined now. Of course, Gotoh's secretiveness. Jeez, Gotoh. Wendell can say all he wants, you're the most annoying friendly God in existance. Also he lost his firestone again. I'd give you the one we got last chapter, but I lost it as well. I lost it to greed. Anyway, Bantu. Bantu's one of the worst units in this game statwise. He's still better than a few of the latejoiners. And that's saying a lot, Bantu's growths are even worse than Arran's and his bases are absolutely awful. I guess he can work as a filler tank for a couple chapters, but... no, he can't even do that properly because his HP is so low. As likeable as he is as a character, Bantu is just a failure of a unit. OH NO YUMINA LOSES MORE HEALTH THAN SHE STEALS! For some reason, I thought THEY were the ones doing 13 damage. I'm such a fool. Honestly, there were so many things that could've resulted in Yumina's death, but she still came out victorious. Good work, Yumina. I can already see you'll be much more of an asset than Pretzel would ever hope to be. Castor finishes off the killer asshole. About time, too, that guy was really damn scary. Sufficient. Castor seems to only have gotten sufficient levels so far, but he's still great. How positively strange. The armorslayer Paladin goes down as well. He didn't get the chance to murder Roger with it. Much like this guy never got to try to kill Cain. Norne please. Castor's far better than you. But I still have hopes for you. Cecille is healed by Wrys. Nothing very noteworthy is going on here. Marth begins his return, and Bantu moves to this corner so he can survive until I can sit him on the bench. Normally, just skipping him entirely is a perfectly fine idea but I'm going for a 100% recruitment run (or, well, I was until I failed horribly). I just hope I won't have to use a rescue charge. Having to deploy Malicia for hammerning purposes would suck. Oh, look, seems like I forgot to crop this screenshot. Eh. Enjoy Bantu's mug, I suppose. Not his bases, though, they're just barely better than Malicia's. Honestly, when a Manakete of all units can claim to have better raw bases than you, you know you're in trouble. These guys again. Fuck you. Fuck you to hell. But not as much as the asshole Hero who deprived us of Arran. Matthis moved up to bait the Generals closer to us. He does so in flying colours. Holy shit, silver lance Generals can't even 2-shot him. He's so amazing, I wasn't expecting him to become this good, even with the Growth Drop. Kaboom! That's one less general to worry about. Frey will help him choke the bridge. He doesn't do quite as well, but doesn't get OHKOd, and can't be critted, so it's fine. Jeez Matthis. Way to humilliate the poor guys. At least let them hit you! There's no way they're killing you, let them have that satisfaction before their inevitable demise. Raaargh! That god forsaken Mage! Oh dear, the second warning is already here? But Marth isn't even at the bridge yet! This is another reason I like this map so much. Hardin really does not fuck around. It makes things quite intense. Perhaps too intense now that all deaths are permanent. It occured to me that Sheeda's got the wing spear, but of course, she gets demolished by these guys. Nope. Norne takes heavy damage. But it is not relevant. For we've the Pope on our side. Matthis decides to let the General stab him once before ending his suffering. Goodness gracious. I'm considering early promoting him, he's that good. I'll check how good his stats would be next chapter. Wrys patches Frey up. I also make him equip an iron sword so there's no way in hell he can kill the General before I can afford to. Sure, it's unlikely that he'd get two crits in a row, but the chance exists. And after Arran's death, I'm NOT taking that risk. This is the situation. Cecille may not be too tanky, but she can take one hit at least, and Cain's all right for the time being. This goes as planned. This, however, does not. It goes even better than I planned! Pretzel, make yourself useful. At least he's powerful enough to finish this General off, although Etzel'll still wipe the floor with him once we get him. Shame he didn't inherit Etzel's talents. He'd have been so good if this was FE4, but alas... Look! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's an easy kill for Frey! Nice, pretty nice. Wrys then gets this. The fact that Wrys of all people is faster than Pretzel makes me die inside a little. In the rear, Cecille terminates the last of the first wave of reinforcements. More of this-- NOOOOOOOO! WHAT!? Wendell healed her just enough for her to be killed in one elfire blast. Which I failed to notice. Of course. There goes Norne. You were an insignificant character who did little and died irrelevantly. And also took three grand off our treasury. Dangit. Die, idiot! And you too, Mage who killed Norne! Roger drinks his vulnerary. He's not very good at tanking, but he'll make do for the time being. Another easy kill for Frey. Yumina brought him down to 2 HP, not 6. I would've never taken such a stupid risk. Actually, scratch that, that wasn't a risk, it was an absolutely retarded move that would have inevitably resulted in Frey's death. Wrys can't safely reach Matthis. Time to put that physic to good use. I want him to be ready to move at once. And Wendell takes care of Frey. Whoa, he one-rounds the Snipers. Fucking A. I was actually kinda fearful of doing this since both Snipers had a chance to crit Matthis, but it seems my fears were unfounded. Also Marth's two turns away from Jeorge. Three turns to go, we should be able to leave without any more casual-- Oh no. Anna save us all, it is time. Marth take a good look at your friend. Don't you see anything out of the ordinary...? Nothing? I find it weird how everyone calls Marth "prince" when he's the King of Altea now. I mean, he is, isn't he? Also this line makes no sense. It belongs to Zephiel, or Medeus at least. You've no reason to say this. Anyway, the second wave of reinforcements-- Oh shit a killer lance. Good thing he didn't cr-- OH SHIT SHE CRITTED HIM! NOOOOOOOOOO NOT CECILLE! ... Gh... tch... hold on... YAAAAAAAAARGH! Aaangh! Ah... huh... guh... All right. ... Dear me, that was so... ngh. We'll have to add a "Cecille is a strong, independent woman who refuses to be killed by a man" counter. In comparison to that, this seems trivial. This happens, too. Who caaaaares all I want is this map to be over. Speaking of which, we just have to survive two turns, but there are more silver lance generals on their way! Strategy time. Matthis kills this guy. This place is now safe. And now he's even better! Roger can't flee any further, but that's fine. Everyone else escapes. Cain stays in the rear to aid Roger. They do fine, but I need them out of there. This is how things are looking at the moment. Wrys and Wendell represent the maximum movement range of the Generals. I need to get everyone out of there, but I can't! So, I do the following: Frey and Roger will take the enemy on. Frey doesn't get doubled by the Heroes, and I'm pretty sure Roger doesn't die either. Cain is healed so he can take the one General that can reach him. And we recruit Jeorge at last. Yeah, Jeorge is a great filler! And he he recruits Astram! Jeorge, you can't die just yet! They reassure that Hardin's an asshole now. Is nobody going to mention the red eyes? And now we've Jeorge. Jeorge is a level 5 Sniper with good bases, but his growths aren't that great. Think of FE6's Klein. He's reminiscent of him in many ways. A good filler, and with Wyvernland coming in a few chapters, he's a useful unit to bring along. I can't really see him in the endgame, though. He also brings our first legendary weapon, or regalia as they call them in this game, Parthia. Damn great bow. Too bad Jeorge is the only one who can use it at this stage of the game (another reason why he's pretty useful). Bring it on, Archanea! We shall not falter-- Oh. He did get killed. Holy shit, he was not meant to live, was he? CAIN TOO?!? Damnit all to hell! THAT WAS MY MOST CRAPTASTICALLY FAILED STRATEGY SO FAR! At least Frey doesn't die. Oh, don't YOU dare kill the Pope too! Perish! Thou shan't lay a hand upon the Gods' messenger! Time to avenge Cain. We won't be able to avenge Roger, but at least we'll make sure to leave behind a couple of maimed Generals before fleeing. Also this. Good job Wendell. And down he goes. He's all yours now, Cain. Make him suffer in the afterlife. Excellent level-up befitting of the occassion. Yumina, too, gets a quite decent level-up. Pretzel, she's starting to catch up in HP too. You better start to behave and get those Mary Sue level-ups you're infamous for. Look a proper screencap of Sleet! You... you're so benched once we get your dad. Jeorge is a good guy, and decides not to crit with Parthia. Allowing Cecille to claim the experience. Damnit all, that escalated quickly. "Worry not, sire! I, the worst Mage in Fire Emblem history, will stay behind to defend everybody! I'll make the enemy laugh at my badness so as to distract them!" No, Jagen. Just... no. Get to da choppah! He's so bad, he even gets distracted with the smallest things when he's supposed to be escaping from the huge guy with 24s everywhere! There you go. Please vote. Check part 14 for the comparison. And now I'll just go to sleep 'cause I need to recover from all that crap. And Roger's death stare kind of disturbed me, I might've gone a little too far with him. Dishonorable reset count: 1 Reset count: 3 Death count: Linde                       Samto                       Navarre                       Arran                       Norne                       Roger                       Cain  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franp3 Posted August 13, 2017 Share Posted August 13, 2017 (edited) 18 hours ago, Rubenio said: PERISH! Is your hatred for Rody so intense you can clone yourself now? Â 18 hours ago, Rubenio said: You're speaking to the biggest imbecile in the face of this continent, after all. Do you mean Castor or Pretzel? it could apply to either of them, really. Â Â 18 hours ago, Rubenio said: "Worry not, sire! I, the worst Mage in Fire Emblem history, will stay behind to defend everybody! I'll make the enemy laugh at my badness so as to distract them!" You seem to be forgetting yubello exists. EDIT: I say you should keep the hat. Â Edited August 13, 2017 by Franp3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightOfNohr Posted August 13, 2017 Share Posted August 13, 2017 Once again, keep the old hair. Sorry for not posting. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted August 14, 2017 Author Share Posted August 14, 2017 ...no votes yet, I see. Well then, I guess it is time for me to choose by myself. Later on Look, Ruben. Votes. Why does nothing ever go my way? I do believe it begun when you messed up your calculations and thought Roger would survive the Hero onslaught. Poor guy. He chose poorly. I would've done the same! Sheeda is so h-- No-- Fine looking hips, I know. Do go get her, Luke. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah! The Paladin of Dawn shall accomplish his greatest conquest yet! ...why, Ruben? A lesson needs to be learnt here. I pray Marth won't be as merciful as he was with Roger. ... Part 16 - Plot, plot and more plot. 2 hours ago, Franp3 said: Is your hatred for Rody so intense you can clone yourself now? That was supposed to represent me wielding both my weapons at the same time, but this theory is much more fun. It's canon for the LP now. Do you mean Castor or Pretzel? it could apply to either of them, really. I meant Pretzel. Castor may be the worst con artist ever, but he's a good Hunter at least. You seem to be forgetting yubello exists. But Yubello is not a Mage, he's a civilian who was made playable because the SNES/DS games don't have green units. EDIT: I say you should keep the hat. Ah, I'm so sorry. I must say, I feel rather honored that your first post in this site (with that account, at the very least) was made in my thread. I'm more important by the day! World conquest is almost within my grasp! 1 hour ago, KnightOfNohr said: Once again, keep the old hair. Sorry for not posting. :) You know, when I noticed I had two new notifications I feared you'd both vote for the Hat. 'Cause I pondered the matter for long, and decided that Pretzel was not worthy of the Hat. It's fine, though. With two conflicting votes, I can use my own vote to break the tie. Pretzel shall keep his vagely-resembling-Etzel's-hair hair. One last thing, this update'll be shorter than usual. I was away from home all day, and I can barely keep up with the whole "one chapter per day" schedule as it is. So, I think I'll just get the plot out of the way today, and get to the real stuff tomorrow (read: my failures and slightly over-the-top and below average death edits). Spoiler Get your grubby mitts off Wendell's Red Pope Hat. "No, lord Wendell! I, the second worst Mage in Fire Emblem history, shall provide a defense so sturdy, you won't even have to hurry!" "On second thought, I still get one-rounded by Hardin's Heroes. But I'll get them next time! I'm still Marth's personal guardian and confident! My stalwart loyalty shall give me the strength needed to destroy all opposition!" And Marth runs away to Khadein, praying Merric hasn't changed like Hardin and will give him shelter. This piece of artwork is rather weird. What's with that guy's hands? They look like harpy claws! What, exactly, did this Sage think the power to shoot fireballs and thunderbolts out of one's hands would be used for? Cooking? They didn't bother beating around the bush with Hardin and Lang, but they did here? That's Gotoh! There's no mistaking him! What other super powerful and mysterious Sage is there in Archanea? Led, as we'll later see, by a couple of fools who think all that's happening in the continent is less important than their personal trifles. Pretzel's alive. Hurray. Is Wendell fine? Wrys? Matthis? ...Castor? Gee, you don't say! I thought you'd have dragged Cain's rotting corpse all the way here. Oi! Why do you have Wendell's Hat again? (I missed this part, and reloaded my savestate to watch the scene again. But I messed up and kept the Hat by mistake. I'm only just noticing now that I didn't fix this screenshot. Oh well, it is at this point irrelevant). This is Jagen's judgement for Pretzel's luck, carried out by Pretzel himself in Jagen's absence. This is the middling option. I'd rather liked if we got the worst option, it would've been a good metaphorical representation of our MU's performance. As in, "benchwarmer material but I need him to be a level 5 Sage before chapter 16". Crap, crap and more crap. Oh look, res for Marth. That would be helpful if these temporary bonuses stacked with the barrier staff. But they don't, therefore this is all absolutely useless. Sirius will be the new Arran. He's also not coming with us today. I make Pretzel go back to being a Mage, too. I made him Dark Mage to see if the higher speed growth helped him, but right now I'd just like to maximize the chance of him getting magic, his one decent stat. Jeorge gets some more bows because Parthia is overkill at this stage of the game, Yumina gets Scorpio because I believe she can make the most out of the speed boost, and Pretzel gets Wendell's elfire (he doesn't need it, Pretzel does too much) and Himself. That's not supposed to be a joke. Also I sell this, for the same reasons I sold the other one. Formation, boss and Etzel! Look at those stats, man. I'll talk more about him once we have him on our side. If only I could bench Pretzel. Well I mean, I can, but then I'd start to mention having to LTC Macellan 10 times per update, and that would get old quite quickly. The boss is Yodel. Yeah, FE12 is actually a prequel to FE6. Well, another one. Yodel used to be a Archanean Bishop, but after the Alteans almost killed him, he fled the continent and got to Elibe, where he proceeded to cap res and not much else. Still better than Pretzel. Speaking of Bretzel, where is he? Oh, he's being given exposition by the Pope. Wendell does not know everything. He just kills everything. There's a minute difference there, but I understand you aren't the brightest bulb in the box, Pretzel. In fact, I doubt you can even surpass candles. Yeah, he's so inferior to you as a unit, he refused to join in this game at all! Considering how he thinks everyone is so amazing except for Luke? I bet it's going to be something really cringy. ...oh no I think the same as Pretzel! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! No! This is too shameful! I shall put an end to my misery! GUAAAAARGH!!! Nest of rattlesnakes, I missed. ... Oh dear my sketch of a boat! It cost me 9.99 €! And my bottle of chardonnay! My favourite! Sorry, what? Oh, good evening Frey. Yes, I would like to know very much, as well. Is it the secret of his inmortality, Pretzel? ...that's really random. I'm drawing a blank here. I can't think of anything witty to say. Maybe I'm much too dumbstruck at Pretzel's idiocy. This guy's no teacher! He's an inmortal Cavalier! Pretzel, you're an idiot. You wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a teacher and a rapist. "Like you, for instance. You were lucky to have been blessed with such great allies, because your own power is severely lacking". Oh, how little you know, Pretzel. How little you know. Doggone it, even more talking! I'm going to post this thing at almost the same hour as yesterday's update. That should be a good indication of how little time I had to push this small part today. I thought of just leaving you hanging with a "sorry guys can't be arsed" post until I noticed you'd finally posted something, so consider yourselves loved and appreciated by your humble host. Snort. I would've loved if they released a DLC called "monastery tales" where we played as Wrys as he took care of a bunch of stupid kids with a tendency to get themselves killed. Maybe in Warriors. I do believe you had to swim through a desert to get here. This isn't the kind of thing anyone would be saying right after reaching the end of such a misadventure. Shit, they're at it again. Stop it! You might think it is, IntSys, but this is not subtle! Oh. Would you look at that. Maybe I am too dirty-minded. Wrys has a good point here. Eh, can you blame me? I'm 18 years old, everybody knows teenagers are dumb. An 18 year old who uses an 81 year old man as his avatar, but eeeeeehhh details. And I humbly believe your beliefs are quite correct. Yeah, I agree, it was quite nice. Oh shit I agree with Pretzel! N-- Please, son, calm yourself down. It'll be better for your health. ... All right, I shall obey the metamorphical hair, just this once! I bet he does, considering his canon childhood consisted in its entirety of "training with Grandpa". At last, we are allowed to start the chapter by our soldiers! Look who's here! It's Michalis! Where was Minerva, though? I didn't see her in the map, and I'm pretty sure rescuing isn't possible in this game. Michalis doesn't make any sense. I demand an explanation! Oh. Well, thanks, I suppose, but that doesn't explain why you're alive! What sort of syllogism led you to this conclusion? I like that they didn't excuse Michalis' actions with the old "mind-control" argument. I mean, it works when used well, but Michalis wouldn't be using it well. She... just said you were a fool. Of COURSE she takes you for a fool! What a fool you are! Wow they also explained this! Amazing! They did well. They certainly handled him better than Gharnef. It took them many years to even show his resurrection in one of FE12's DLC chapters, and even then they didn't explain exactly how they did it. Or at least that's how I remember it. I apologise if I am mistaken. Yey he's an anti-hero now! And he's off, never to be seen again for a long, long time. MORE TALKING!?!?!? Yeah, that we do. Can we begin? Oh man, who would've forseen such a happening? Perhaps anybody who'd bothered to check out the map before hitting start, then A when the "conclude preparations" promt appeared? Merric's too busy fighting his "friend". Honestly, Wendell, what were you thinking when you left those two in charge of Khadein? Couldn't you see the very obvious similarities between your situation and Gotoh's with Miloah and Gharnef? Oh yeah, and Astram's still on our tail. Thank fuck this is the last chapter. One day, though. One of these days, I'll avenge Arran, Roger and Cain. 'Cause it's canon that the same Hero killed Arran and Roger, causing Cain's death as well. Don't kill Etzel, mostly. Finally, damnit! I begin to move my units, and inmediately proceed to forget about the thief staff Thief. Eh, I was kinda exhausted at this point. Hmmm, I wonder what this reminds me of? Barriering! Dang, that's such a grammatical aberration. Ironically, Wrys is the best unit to take on these units. His sky-high res means nobody but Etzel can do a shred of damage to him, and if I were to promote him right now, not even the Sorcerer himself would be able to leave a dent in his robes. Maybe I will, considering how this strategy turned out. Matthis and Wendell are attacked. I feared Wendell would be doubled. Pfah, how silly of me, this is the fastest Pope in existance we're talking about! Once turn 2 begins, Cecille starts to rain thunder down upon this Thief. And inmediately, we speak to Etzel. Hardin hasn't wasted a minute to send those propaganda Dracoknights, I see. They probably dropped a pack of pamphlets on Etzel's head. That's how he came to be so skeptical about Hardin's claims. I think I just outdid myself for the stupidest fanfiction in this thread. And the previous record holder was me, as well! And so, we can now use Etzel. Etzel's probably the best magic user in the entire game. As a Sorcerer, his well-balanced bases and extraordinarily high defenses for a magic user make him a great combat unit, or he can reclass to Bishop and get C staves for physic usage while still having quite great bases. Even his growths, Wendell's biggest weakness, are quite good! If you use him, he'll most likely be an asset all the way to the end, although his high base level does hurt him a little. We inmediately give him something to do. Two unnecessary crits later, there's only one Dracoknight left harrassing us. We forcefully stop his harrassing soon enough. Healing, healing, and Matthis goes up to cover Marth a little. This is how things stand. Not too bad, I believe. Jikes, Frey's no good against Mages. Marth don't die please. I'm not worried about Jeorge in the slightest. And if he does die, well, he's just a filler. Oh crap I need him to recruit Astram. Eh. He's an even worse filler. And also quite hateable. But I'd like at least one or two of the ending sequences to actually play. You know, the ones that involve three or four related characters talking to each other? I think I've already lost three or four of those. Marth! Since he doesn't really die, he doesn't get a bloody portrait. That, and at this point in time I was so tired I just decided to call it a day. And that's what we're doing. Tomorrow, we go kill Yodel. Dishonorable reset count: 1 Reset count: 4 (Pretzel: 3 - Marth: 1) Death count: Linde                       Samto                       Navarre                       Arran                       Norne                       Roger                       Cain  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted August 15, 2017 Author Share Posted August 15, 2017 Sit down, everybody, it's story time. Must we really go through this? Yey! Story time! Is it about me? No, it isn't. Oh. Is it about cute ladies? No, it isn't. ... Please begin, my friend. (play "divine dragon ~ old saga" while reading) Once upon a time, there was a man of great wisdom and a heart of gold. This man's name was Wendell. Wendell was a man of great magical power, and he was renowned for his swift, powerful strikes across the entire world. But Wendell had no love for war, and each life he claimed weighed heavily on his soul. He would have been content with healing the wounds of his allies, but tacticians all over the world continuously forced him to take up arms and participate directly in the onslaught of many, taking advantage of his astounding might. And Wendell wept, and in prayer, he asked Naga "Why, after all I have done to avoid needless bloodshed? Why, after I've tried my best to be kind to my fellow men? Why have I been cursed with this great power of mine? Why me, when I've no love for war?". And Naga took pity on her dearest subject, and decided to grant his wish, for she judged him worthy of her favour. And so, that fateful day, a new menace was born. A man was granted a power that was said to match even that of Wendell. A man was granted such potential, it was said even the most promising mages of Khadein would never surpass him. That man's name... was Etzel. But Etzel lost his loved one in a tragic skirmish with the evil Dohlrian empire. Having lost the will to live, he wandered, alone, for a long time, until the Altean army found him well into the war of shadows, and took him in. As Etzel struggled to find a reason to stay, to press on, he overheard a prayer. And the words he heard changed him forever. "Why, after all I have done to avoid needless bloodshed? Why, after I've tried my best to be kind to my fellow men? Why have I been cursed with this power of mine? Why me, when I've no love for war?" It was then that Etzel realised his true purpose. Etzel was not keen on warfare, either. But he knew what it was to suffer dearly because of it. And the man's voice was filled with a pain he knew well. When he returned to his chambers that night, he had come to a realisation: while his own, greatest regret was that he'd been too weak to protect his loved one, the cause for Wendell's sorrow was the opposite: he was too powerful for his own good. And so, Etzel followed the Pontifex and remained at Khadein after the end of the war of shadows, believing he would find his way by Wendell's side. He helped his disciples carry out their missions in his behalf so the old Archsage would not have to use his beloved magic for warfare again, and quickly became a revered figure in the city-state. And when the war of heroes began, the cruel tacticians lost interest in Wendell, and turned their pragmatic eyes to Etzel and his tremendous power, relegating Wendell to more minor roles in the battles, such as ensuring the well-being of his allies. And Wendell was thankful, and said to Naga "Thank you, o Naga. I will not let Etzel's and your efforts be in vain. I will see the mission Lord Gotoh entrusted to me through to ensure the salvation of mankind." And Etzel, too, was thankful, and said to Naga "Thank you, o Naga. I will not let Wendell's and your efforts be in vain. I will fight to the best of my ability to ensure the salvation of mankind." And at last, Wendell and Etzel had both found their true purposes, and within them, happiness once more.    ...that story seems... awfully familiar to me. Yeah! Both Wendell and Etzel are members of our army! This isn't a story! This is a history lesson! Booooooooooooring! Y-you... how dare you! I spent a long time creating that story just for you! And it was a great story! Would you mind writing about me and the children of my monastery next? Like that one time they were playing, and one of those naughty ne'er-do-wells made me trip and I fell on top of-- I hate you all. I hate you all so much. Let's just go to war already, shall we? I need the sight of blood. ... To be entirely honest, I think we could've been a little more polite. Perhaps so, my son. Perhaps so. Whatever. If you need me, I'll be looking for some fine ladies! Part 17 - Revenge. Spoiler  I said I wouldn't change anything in the prep screen, but hey, retrieving my free stuff isn't changing anything in the prep screen, right? Anyway, Frey's bonus are badass, but other than that, I didn't get much of anything. Okay, time to-- oh, Pretzel. He seems to have choked with laughter. Not much to see here, moving on. Oh hey Palla. It's been a while. GAH! Pretzel! You're even more stupid than I thought! Yes, Palla... I feel the same. Good idea, I'm tired of dealing with uncultured swines who won't recognise my literary genius. Shit, that face threatened even me. And I was already sitting! Hurray, thanks Palla. Now Pretzel won't get bonus experience out of his Mary Sue training. Anyway, that would be all. Plot's out of the way, so we can just go. This is our first turn. Nothing very important. I just move units here and there. This time I don't forget about the Thief, though. Next turn, I barrier Matthis again 'cause I'm paranoid, and dance for Castor for no real reason because he's not going anywhere. Cecille summons a thunderstorm over this Thief. She one-rounded him, but I'd rather not risk crits if I can avoid it. And so, it begins! This is the only Mage who could reach Matthis. Quite ironic, wouldn't you say? Mages in a desert chapter struggling to reach a Cavalier. Frey is attacked by one of the Dracoknights. He wrecks her in return. Next turn, Frey flees and drinks a vulnerary on the way there. Some more barriering. It is really important to keep everybody's resistance high in this chapter. Jeorge destroys this Dracoknight. This is all he's going to do in this chapter. Yumina finishes the second Dracoknight off. Now all we have to do is take care of the Mages and Etzel. However, as we found out last time, Marth can't survive if all the Mages surrounding Etzel gang up on him. It's best to wait another turn. I just hope Etzel doesn't kill himself. Some more barrier shenanigans. Wrys will be perfectly fine. Wow. Hahahah. Amazing, Matthis. He would never have died, but turning that almost-one-shot into a true one-shot makes me feel even more confident about his chances. I'm not using the javelin because Matthis turns Etzel into mashed potatoes. Now that I can actually prevent it, I'd rather Matthis didn't act like a dumbass with his javelin. Cecille finishes off the thief Thief. or the Thief thief, if you prefer. This level would suck ass, but it has defense so it's perfectly fine. Meanwhile, Julian begins to loot, ergh, this. This building never made any sense. It is a little dumb to have the treasure chamber all the way at the other side of the desert, is it not? Especially when, as we'll see next chapter, they also have chests lying around the school! This reminds me of the first time I played Terraria, I had chests all over my house because I was bad at inventory managing. Anyway, I dance for Marth, once again for no other reason than to get Feena some experience. Dangit Feena that's not good. Matthis gets attacked, as I thought he would. This, I did not expect. Wendell's resistance isn't that amazing, so in retrospect, I guess it makes sense they went for him. Not you too! FE11 Wendell and Matthis may be the most infamous examples of "DS FE not having a green faction is dumb", but Etzel attacking Wendell while outright stating he owes him and his city-state is pretty ridiculous as well. The two of them freeze each other. Wendell comes out considerably more injured, but it doesn't matter: the current situation is perfect to recruit Etzel. Cecille will make it in time to defend the village, but sadly, I won't be able to catch the master seal Thief. I'm starting to miss too many seals for my liking. Whatever, we'll worry about that when it actually becomes a problem. Stop trying to repay Khadein by murdering their Archmage, you magnificent fool! Wrys.jpg Look, turns out I lied. Jeorge did do something else! In cooperation with Yumina and Matthis, he kills all of the Mages. We keep moving up. We'll be regrouping at the Arena. Feena dances for Marth so he can recruit Minerva sooner. I'll probably have to rescue him either way, as maneuvering around Etzel has delayed us quite a bit, but I'd rather have some margin for error. Oh look, turns out both Thieves want to attack the village. And the non-seal Thief can't reach the village! Great! Maybe I'll be able to get the seal after all... ...oh. Well, too bad. But I wasn't counting on that seal anyways. In the end, I just go with my original plan of making Cecille find out how it feels to be a FE boss. See if you can get through her to sei- I mean, raid the village, scoundrels! Also, I believe this guy would've gone for the chests had we not raid them already, but since we have, he's just doing... whatever. Maybe he'll fight Julian. Just in case, I place our Thief in a forest. Not that it'll matter much, since in these games forests don't give any defense, and the avoid increase is negligable, but still. As you can see, we're still moving north with this team. Matthis moved one tile to the west in order to bait this guy. I swear this guy is so great. And here come the Thieves! I think that was a crit. Not sure. It is irrelevant anyway, as she doubles the Thief. Already?! Nah, all Jagen wants is to mess with Marth a little, because Astram will take a long time to arrive after this warning. The master seal Thief didn't attack Cecille. He apparently can't make up his mind on whether he's trying to raid the village or not. Or maybe his escape point is just all the way overhere. Regardless, we've another master seal now. As you can see, the last Thief didn't actually fight Julian, and instead headed north to... raid the village too, I guess? Man, what could be in this village that all of these Thieves want to steal it? Minerva just arrived, so it can't be her. And why aren't the Mage Corps attacking them? They're not with Khadein! In fact, they're trying to destroy Khadein! Why the hell are they just letting them run around freely? I check how Julian fares against the Thief. Nope. Not risking it. Yumina flashbangs Matthis' opponent to death and gets... NOT YOU TOO Anyway, I completely forgot to pull the second Dracoknight this turn. Maybe next time. Cecille, meanwhile, kills the last of the Thieves. Nice! Strength and HP are all she needs at this point. Frey stands inside the Dracoknights range. And everybody else keeps moving north. While at it, Wrys physics Cecille as she was very wounded at this point. Wrys! Why are all my Mages so bad?! Etzel, you're my last hope! Well, I suppose there's still a couple more hopes, but Katarina's a traitor and I've established in this LP that I don't like her, and Frost's unremarkable as a unit, even if he's pretty cool as a character. I'm not forgetting anybody, am I? Oh, right. The two mages. Pfffffft. I legit forgot about them until I wrote the entire update and went all the way back to proofread. And you'll find out how ludicrous that is once you get to the end of this update. Nothing terribly interesting here, it's just Feena helping Matthis not sink in the sand just yet. Frey utterly destroys the last Dracoknight. Good work, Frey. We move some more. Almost there! As you can see, Marth has parted ways with the main team. He's got a village to visit. Bollocks! I forgot about these fools. Oh well, no harm done at least. Yumina does better than Pretzel. You know, Malicia 2.0. Pretzel, my man, you're the worst. Although, to be fair, she does have a Starshard. I try my luck, but it did not work, for Yumina wasn't feeling like reading her book and swinging her arm slightly more forcefully in order to slaughter the Bishop entirely. Oh look. There's Astram. Yeah, sure. Good luck struggling through the sand to get to us, guys. Cecille and Julian ride west to rendezvous with the main team. Yumina skillfully dodges the first Bishop's swarm of flies, while the second one reminds me of Castor's existance. He hasn't done anything at all in this chapter! I'll see if I can find something for him to kill. Maybe one of the Bishops? I inmediately proceed to vaporize all chances of Castor getting to kill anything in this chapter by finishing off this Bishop with Yumina. It was at about this point when I remembered the other Bishop exists and he's capable of finishing Yumina off after Yodel summons his volcano under her feet. Shit! I don't want to lose her! Whatever, I'll act like anybody with half a brain would and try to put the issue off until it becomes unavoidable. Minerva explains to Marth that Michalis is alive and he rescued her from Rucke. Marth is not impressed by these news, even though they should be really shocking to him. But I thought you can't heal people once their HP reaches 0! Now I wish I had Maria to save Arran, Cain, Roger, Linde and all the others in the list. Ah, so according to canon, Minerva herself fought Michalis but didn't actually kill him, in hopes Maria would come and... uh... Damnit Minerva that plan sucked even more ass than Roro's schemes from the prologue! There we go. That was painless enough. Minerva brings along our second regalia, the Hauteclere, an axe with the power to trade uses for health. But really, why in the world would you do that? Why waste a regalia to heal when you can just use a vulnerary? As a unit, Minerva is a bit like Jeorge, but better. Much like the Archanean Sniper, Minerva has the unique utility of most likely being the only unit capable of using the regalia she brings at this point in time. However, unlike Jeorge, her growths are quite good, and her bases are better enough in the places where it matters. She has potential to become an amazing flier. All right, time to save Yumina's ass. Wrys borrowed Wendell's barrier a while ago. He gives it back. And now Yumina will live through both attacks. The rest of the turn consists of just random shenanigans and unnecessary healing to get Etzel some experience. Looks like I worried for nothing. Or maybe they just went for Wendell because his resistance is lower than Yumina's after the barrier. Yodel is not a very interesting boss. There are too many FE12 bosses with this kind of boring ass "hahahah! I will now name and describe the weapon I'll use to kill you!" quote. Pretty much everyone with a especially powerful weapon other than Jeorge. Yodel is considerably more powerful than Yumina. Not good, not good at all. She's going to need help, but there's nobody around to help! Scratch that, this is incredibly good! Wow! Way to compensate for your hideous last level. All the important stats! Learn from the master, Pretzel. The Hero squad keeps moving north, but there's simply no way they'll make it in time. Yumina retreats and gets healed by the Pope. I still don't know what to do, though. And we better not linger around for long. I think it's about time to resort to the nuclear option. Better, Feena. You need HP desperately. There we go. This might be a bit of a waste, but who cares? We're about to enter dragonland. Soon enough all enemies will be giving 50 exp per kill. This would work better if we at least had a scene where Yodel spoke to Elrean. As it is, we know absolutely nothing about this guy. Fun fact: back in my newbie days, before I even knew what FE12 was, I ran into this guy's wiki page by accident while looking up Yodel from FE6. For some reason, I thought Elrean was a girl. I don't know, his name just sounded female to me. Make of that what you will. Marth won't make it back to the school before Astram and his Heroes. We better give him a boost. He then weakens this Bishop, but doesn't kill him because he doesn't need the experience too much. I hope you enjoyed sending those flies after Frey, because that'll be the last time you'll ever do that. Down he goes! The map's basically over now. Great, great. Your strength is slightly lower than I'd like, but as things stand, he's basically a better Cecille with a worse weapon rank and no access to the lady sword. They're both great, I'll be keeping them on the team so long as they're alive. Shopping! I buy a pure water, a blizzard tome, a heal staff and a bunch of steel weapons. Look I found something for Castor to do! He won't get a level, but by the time we're done, he'll be close to despite having killed nothing in the entire chapter. Nah, no thanks. Maybe next turn. Wrys.jpg again. Not much to say here, I'm just trying to get Wrys to level 20. Oh! Look who's here! Small world, is it not? Remember that time you two killed my most vulnerable soldiers? It is time for revenge! I don't know about you guys, but I'm enjoying this very much. Perish! Very well. But you weren't the important one, no no no... You! It was you! You shall suffer for killing our valorous sick Jeigan! Oh look! If I'm not mistaken, that's just enough damage for Etzel to finish him off. Awesome. This'll net him a level. But more importantly... Arran's soul may now rest in peace. A level befitting of the occasion. It's missing some speed, but other than that it's great. It is almost time for us to leave. Wrys-- Dangit Wrys! Although, all things considered... maybe it's for the best. I also give Castor one more round at the Arena. As I said, he doesn't get a level, but he probably will next chapter. I better start to use him more, he's falling behind. And that is it! No deaths today, we avenged our friends... I feel well about my performance in this map, even if I did add another reset to the counter. I do wonder what it could be. And that's a wrap! We're done. ... Actually, you know what, let's get the intro and preparations for the next chapter out of the way already. Hardin didn't order them to send their corps after us, he just asked politely. And backed his words with some good ol' propaganda. This will be proven wrong in 3... ...2... ...dangit they beat me to it! To be honest, that "has" might be a typo. The "s" key is right next to the "d" key after all. No, seriously, I hate to criticize the Pope, but what in the world were you thinking, Wendell? You know that! You've been here! My fanfic's feeble enough without you inadvertedly pointing out the plotholes. Oh look, Jagen's judgement on Pretzel's magic! I do wonder what's up with the man, he's been absent for two judgements in a row now. BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SNORRRRRRRRRRT HAHAHAHAHAHAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAAAAAAAAH Ahhhhhhhhh... Sorry. But in all honestly, I do believe Pretzel is slightly better than Merric at the moment Then again, he's also 7 levels ahead of Merric. The fact that his non-HP and magic stats are all equal or inferior to Merric's even with such a massive level lead should be enough proof of how massively RNG screwed my avatar is. You already did! Well, you said it yourself, you've no magical ability. Who are you to judge? Anyway, preparations. I quickly reclass Wrys to Dark Mage. Just so I can do this. Amazing level up, as are all of Wrys' level-ups. No, but seriously, he's as fast as Pretzel. Jesus fucking Christ Pretzel, Wrys is as fast as you. Man, look at all those master seals. Missing that one Thief in chapter 7 wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be, after all. Great! Wrys's stats and tome rank aren't that impressive, but having a high tome rank in this game is really only needed for Starlight, Aura and Excallibur, and Wrys will mostly be a magic wall and staffbot. I think he already outdoes Wendell at that! I reclass him to Sage (Yubello's just here because he was holding the last Sage slot, and I also love how he has 0 magic as a Curate. Not even Ellen man. Not even Ellen), and now his magic is better than Etzel's. He also gains the ability to use blizzard. He does lose quite a bit of res, but let's be honest here, nothing short of Gharnef's ever going to kill him with magic alone. I re-equip all of my promoted mages, which also allows me to do a quick comparison between the three. As you can see, Wrys is the most fragile of them all, but has the highest magic and staff rank, making him the perfect staffbot, while Etzel's a great frontline healer and magical combatant and Wendell is sort of in the middle. If I ever lack the deployment slots, I think Wendell would be the first to get the boot, but honestly, if I had space for all three of them in maniac (where there are less slots), I'll surely have space for them here. But enough of our Sages and Sorcerers. Matthis was running short in weaponery. We merge some stuff to keep his trusty javelin in top condition. I also do this. Man, he's so good! This is the sort of crap you'd expect of people like Catria! And then I inmediately promote him. There isn't much he could've gotten in those two levels that would've made a big difference. This, on the other hand... A quick reclass later, and we got our first 20s! In strength and defense, no less! This guy is awesome. And as a General? 25 defense right off the bat. He's even got a bit of resistance. Nothing short of effective weaponery will ever kill this guy. We arm him properly for his new career. Also, Yumina gets Capricorn. The extra magic will help her quite a lot. Lastly, I reclass Wendell to Bishop. The staff rank is pointless right now, but some more resistance will be useful in this chapter. I'll probably show this again tomorrow, but this is our formation. Malicia's here solely because I need her to hammerne the rescue staff Wendell is holding before he rescues Merric. Also, there's Elrean. I'll elaborate on him as a unit when we recruit him, as usual, but suffice to say I like him better than Merric. And that's it for today! The conversations, the rest of the plot and the chapter itself will be posted tomorrow by me, if nothing out of the ordinary happens. Dishonorable reset count: 1 Reset count: 4 (Pretzel: 3 - Marth: 1) Death count: Linde                       Samto                       Navarre                       Arran                       Norne                       Roger                       Cain  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franp3 Posted August 15, 2017 Share Posted August 15, 2017 La hora se acerca, compañero. Hoy, el subforo. Mañana, el mundo!  On 13/8/2017 at 9:11 PM, Rubenio said: The boss is Yodel. Yeah, FE12 is actually a prequel to FE6. Well, another one. Yodel used to be a Archanean Bishop, but after the Alteans almost killed him, he fled the continent and got to Elibe, where he proceeded to cap res and not much else. Still better than Pretzel. Wait. If this is the same Yodel from FE6... then Etzel is actually Canas' long lost older brother! It all makes sense!  22 hours ago, Rubenio said: This reminds me of the first time I played Terraria, I had chests all over my house because I was bad at inventory managing. Is there any other way to do it?   Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted August 15, 2017 Author Share Posted August 15, 2017 ... Hey, Ruben. What's up? ... ... Looks like he's still angry. Hmm... Guys guys! Look overthere! It's a cute-- Gaaaagh! Hah! I'm so tired of you all and your shenanigans. My balls... ... That felt good. Shall we go to war now? We need to slaughter some helpless Clerics. ...may I remind you that we need them in order not to have to LTC Elrean? Mm. Shame. Oh, well. ... Part 18 - The crab syndrome. 1 minute ago, Franp3 said: La hora se acerca, compañero. Hoy, el subforo. Mañana, el mundo! Por qué conformarnos con el mundo? Hay todo un universo ahi fuera! Wait. If this is the same Yodel from FE6... then Etzel is actually Canas' long lost older brother! It all makes sense! Better yet! Etzel is Canas himself! In truth, he just barely survived the snowstorm, but his wife perished. Ashamed that he was unable to save her, he escaped to Archanea, made up a new identity and background, and proceeded to just sulk around and keep on being the only natural Druid in the game. It makes perfect sense! Etzel looks a little older than Canas, and Yodel looks much younger than he was in FE6. FE12 actually takes place a year or two after FE7. Nintendo please make it canon. Is there any other way to do it? Yeah, making a basement. Although because I like to make my life harder than it needs to be, the first time I tried to do that was when I decided to build a castle on top of a lake. Stupid Terraria and its liquid physics... (Vote for the masquerade ball mask. I'm a little ahead of the LP, so if you vote now I'll be able to get both 10x and 11 out of the way tomorrow). Spoiler Okay! That's enough waiting around, time to see if there's anything left of Elrean and Merric to recruit. Oh never mind, here's Julian. What are you doing, mate? Trying to escape with the boots? Nah, the truth is, you want the boots for yourself. Well joke's on you, you're not getting them. You liar, you're still a Thief. And don't use gameplay as an excuse, Jake and Beck are the living proof that there is a way to reclass from these unique classes between games. You two are all talk and no trousers, I see. Nope! We already have enough of these in the introduction of every chapter. Oh, Cecille. Yeah that was quite out of character, but trust me, it was for the best. Well yes, his name's Rody. I thought you'd gotten over that... Bah, it's always good to think back to the good old times from two weeks ago, right? ...whoa it's already been two weeks. I've grown accustomed to the LP. I can only hope you are enjoying reading it as much as I am enjoying making it. I love how she just feels the need to specify she does NOT believe it for she is a strong, independent woman who is not deterred by a lowly male ghost. Oh, looks like I was wrong, it's just Sadako. Look, Rody, a girlfriend for you! ... Then Pretzel blames it on the wind like an idiot. Pretzel, you'd die first in a horror movie. Or, well, third, after the black guy and the blonde jackass. No, that had a perfectly reasonable explanation. Rody, on the other hand... Nah, you're not a child. If anything you're a strong, inde-- Okay okay, you get it, I get it. Let's just move o-- Strange sound? I didn't hear any-- Gaaaah! What?! Try to enjoy it Pretzel! Oh dear, it just keeps getting better and better. The fact that we can't see either of their arms just adds to the ambiguity. And they went on to spend the night together. And Pretzel was mad because he missed his night training session. Well, I hope she survives so we can find out what that sound was. Actually, scratch that, every time I've said this the character in question died. I really hope she dies before we can find out what that sound was. Posting these two again because it's free and effortless to me. Today's free things. Dear god that just fucking sucks, through and through. Oh well, at least Marth is at 99 experience now. I might be able to finally get him a level. Let's go do th-- Barst! I'm trying to go save Merric! Not that I care too much about him, you know, but when the next Jagen judgement on my death count arrives I don't want my record to look too bad. I mean, worse than it already does. I like this support. It looks like it's going to be a "Pretzel is so amazing at training" convo, but then it hints at Barst having a shaddy backstory. And proceeds to end in a cliffhanger. No he wasn't. According to the backstory I made up for you, he just utterly failed to teach you and then sent you to Khadein. You know, let's say Pretzel was ambushed by Gharnef's allies as he fled from the school, but survived, losing his memories in the process. That's why he's so dumb, his brain is damaged. Wait, on second thought, that makes him almost as badass as Frey. Eh. Then again, Frey survived being mauled to death by a mountain of silver lance Knights. In the LP's canon, Pretzel just crumbled down after a stray Thief crashed into him while fleeing. Do elaborate. This line is a double-edged sword. I can either say he's a dumbass for asking such an obvious thing, but then again, he didn't specify he fought alongside Marth. But if I don't call him out for it, then I have to call him out for jumping like a dumbass to such a conclusion when Barst might just be mentioning the War of Shadows for no other reason than to pinpoint the exact moment after which he started to do all sorts of things. You know what, I'm losing track of my own argument. Moving right on. Pretzel: Archanea's own Sherlock Holmes. I hadn't read that support in ages before today. I wasn't expecting it to just end here. Well, I do hope we get some more "Barst getting closer to Pretzel"s in our "how's everyone"s. 'Cause otherwise... Okay, can we go now? Nobody's got anything to say? Okay good. Merric, you're very naive. It's not as if this is new, Elrean's already a douchebag in the DLC chapter. Oh I agree, I agree! Heh heh. You know Merric, I may be mistaken but I don't think this has ever worked. Envious douchebags usually just get mad that you show them mercy. "Khadein is an independent city-state, taking orders from no foreign nation. But they are perfectly fine with being manipulated and harboring biases and grudges." Hahahahah. I know Elrean's just trying to find an excuse to start shooting lightning bolts at Merric, but this is so ridiculously impossible, it's hilarious. Come now, Elrean, this guy isn't Gotoh. How, exactly, would he have dragged us here? He doesn't even have any way to contact us! Point out the many holes in your rival's shitty theory, Merric! ...well. If you'd rather fight, then sure, be my guest. Actually... No, you won't. If you look closely, you'll notice Merric's animation is very slightly different. That's because he critted! All things considered this was a really stupid risk but hey, it paid off well! Now Matthis won't risk dying after murdering the first swarm Bishop. Like so. What's up with his head? Seriously, is it just me or does his head look like a seahorse's head in this shot? Anyway, time to get Merric back. I believe this counts as recruiting him, so let's talk about him! Merric's bases are unfortunate. As in, they're awful for both his level and his joining time. He does have the prologue, but he'd only get one or two levels there, three at most, and his growths aren't exactly the best. All in all, he's just Linde but trading availability and access to the female tomes for Excalibur and slightly better bases. 8 chapters later. He is required to get the good ending, though. That could be classified as unique utility, amirite? Wendell gets this level. Now he has more magic than the guy he saved from dying a horrible death. This is how things are looking like. No, I don't know why one of the sides consists solely of mages and Castor. Why should I? The remaining Bishop thinks he's so smart, hurting our protagonist. Little does he know, if I had to choose between the two, I'd definitely take a reset over the death of a member of the main team. Like Matthis, for instance. Which is why I make Feena dance for him. That's better. The western division is going to be needing a physical powerhouse, so Matthis'll be tagging along. Meanwhile, Yumina will be baiting the first Mage over. In hindsight, I should've done that with Etzel, because Yumina's resistance is uncharacteristically low for a Mage, but eh, who cares. Yumina is far more successful than Pretzel. You better stop sucking ASAP, Pretzel, 'cause we're going to get another Mage who beats you in a couple of pivotal areas. And your father, but mentioning him wouldn't be fair. Etzel heals Yumina while Pretzel faces off with the Mage once again. Nice dodge, albeit a little unnecessary. And Castor finally gets a level-up! Castor! Eh, all things considered, he does need some HP. But this is still bad. Don't you dare get another level-up like this! Are you tired of baiting shenanigans yet? Well, too bad for you, because we've a lot of baiting shenanigans on the horizon. Like so. Goodness, these two are awesome. I gave Malicia a heal staff so she could be a backup healer while she's here. Great level-up, but it doesn't matter at all this far into the game. Look, Marth got his level-up! He hasn't gotten a single point of strength or defense, has he? Well, I looked it up and turns out he has gotten one point in each stat. Kudos to you, Marth, but you're still RNG screwed. I don't want my reset count to be unnecessarily big. With that in mind, I make Etzel put his staff to good use. And Yumina puts an end to the Mage's life. This is risky. I forgot about the killing edge Mercenary in this side. Frey and Etzel better not get struck by a critical hit, because neither of them will survive one of those. But before that, Pretzel sets up the Mercenary for Castor. Matthis one-rounded him with each and every one of his weapons. Good thing we got a sucky unit to pull this off. Wrys heals the one HP Castor got in his last-level, and now it is virtually impossible for him not to have an A rank in staves, no mather which of the magical classes he picks. Wrys is almost invincible against Mages, but I fear for Frey and Etzel. Look at this. Beautiful. 2 damage from the strongest common tome. And had he stayed as a Bishop, not even this would've left a dent on him! Oh no. Looks like my worries were unfounded, Etzel was capable of surviving one crit. But he isn't now! My worries were founded in the end! Why was I worried, about? This is Etzel we're talking about! Yumina kills the Mage and wounds the Mercenary. Who could get that kill, I wonder? All right, looks good. With nothing better to do, Frey heads north to bring in another enemy. Also, this. If you can't tell, I refuse to let that abomination be Castor's sole level-up in this chapter. Besides, who else am I going to feed this side's kills to? Matthis, Wendell and Wrys are too high level, I won't use Merric and Pretzel isn't worth the experience. I strategically build a wall of Mages. No healing for you, soon-to-be wounded Mage! Looks rad. Keep going. Frey accomplishes his task with flying colours. Quite literally! Look at that piss yellow flying all over the place! Another kill for Castor. He's almost ready. Also, I thought this was the same picture as last turn's for as second. A speedrun this ain't. Wrys! Don't do that, Castor needs the experience more than you do! And now he's ready to take another hit. Wow. Look at that. Not even silver bow Snipers can bring Matthis down! But still, he doesn't need the experience. This should be a more sensible plan... GAAAAAH 6% crit! If only you didn't give me such a worthwhile reward for sparing your lives. Two rewards, in fact! It was at this point when I decided "hey, I'm going to save this kill for somebody else!". Getting everyone the hell out reveals this is the Sniper's range. What a rare picture. I'm using a flier to protect infantry from a silver bow Sniper. Not much is going on in the eastern front. We're just moving forward. They'll remain here for a while, too. I don't want Elrean to run the wrong way. All things considered, I risked my best unit like an idiot here. And then he just murdered the guy with his seahorse face. Damnit Matthis! You weren't supposed to take this kill! On second thought, that's fine. Man, Gradivus is going to go straight into your hands and never leave them once we get it. With no enemies in sight, our two healers bring Matthis back to top condition. No. I'm not doing this twice. Especially when this guy's crit rate triples that of the sniper. That's better. I don't think shaver even begins to hurt Wrys. Hah hah hah, not a chance. I honestly wish he'd gotten a crit, just for extra hilarity. Wrys conveniently missed his thunder, which is why this screencap looks like it is from the same battle as the last one, but isn't. And castor brings an end to this fool. Excellent! You were needing all those stats. And now... I'd rather like to talk Elrean down before without him wasting a Thoron charge, but at the same time, the lower Mercenary is still alive. Time for some strategy. There. That was easy. He's being a biased asshole. And don't get me wrong, he'd actually be acting rather logically if Hardin's claims were true, but as it is, Elrean didn't bother to investigate further because what Hardin told him was exactly what he needed to hear in order to try to take Merric out. So, yeah, all in all, he's just being a biased asshole. Still, I actually quite like Elrean, for reasons we'll be seeing soon. Don't be so shocked, Elrean, he's absolutely right. The real question is, why the hell did you leave Khadein in this guy's hands if you knew this? Now, usually, this kind of character would just go like "hm, you may be right. Allow me to grant you the honour of my power, but only because of you lord Wendell. I still hate all the others! And I am still right!" But there's actually some kindness in Elrean, as he acknowledges his mistakes. And now he's on our side. I like Elrean because unlike many of these semi-villainous rivals, he actually does develop as a character and seeks to redeem himself. He even goes as far as to apologise to Merric in the end! That's some real progress right there. He's one of the characters who doesn't need the supports, because his other appearances are enough for him as a character. Not to say they aren't nice to have, of course. As a unit, Elrean's bases are better than Merric's where it matters. For one, his speed base is actually higher than his level, his defense is amazing (better than Castor's and all of our non-Etzel mages), and his magic isn't too bad either. Growth wise, he's got the same low magic growth as Merric as well as a much lower speed growth. However, he does have a 25% defense growth, which is pretty good. Elrean's main selling point is that, unlike pretty much every other Mage in the game save for Etzel, his defenses will be high enough for him to be a capable frontline fighter. He just needs those magic and speed growths to work. And considering how terrible Pretzel turned out to be, I think I will try... But before that, Frey destroys this guy. I give some tomes to Elrean. I don't know if I'll be using him yet, but it won't hurt to do this. And before we leave, it is time to raid the school in front of her caretakers! We get some much needed gold, another physic staff (one can never have too many of those), and two other slightly less useful staves. And with this amazing level for Feena... We leave Khadein behind! And I graciously accept their offer! This'll come in handy. Not right now, the silver card doesn't work in either the base armory or the drill grounds, but with this, buying the three physic staves in chapter 13 will be a non-issue. And now, it is time for Gotoh to flashbang himself into the room! Or, well, his magical holograph version! This isn't exactly breaking news, considering we've already seen Hardin holding the Darksphere back in chapter 8. There they are. The sacred orbs are this game's version of FE6's legendary weapon requirement (or, more precisely, FE6's legendary weapons were a different take on FE3's orbs). I personaly like the fact that the Lightsphere, and the Starshards for that matter, no longer increase growth rates. That was way too broken. Wrath and envy? Those aren't the type of emotions that come to mind when thinking of Hardin. Although, he does look a bit like Wrath. Reference! Yeah, I'd like to know. Please, do enlighten us, omnipresent deity. This guy's surname is probably Inconvenience. Lord Gotoh Inconvenience the Pompous. Sounds rad. This is Gotoh's way of strategically avoiding to tell Marth that Hardin's completely gone and that he'll have to slit his throat either way, so he'll actually go through his shitty tests to go get the lightsphere. Yeah! Teleport yourself here and hand over the orb! I'm not even asking you to teleport us to Altea, we'll go there by ourselves. Of course. You just had to make it inconvenient, eh, Lord Gotoh Inconvenience the Pompous? Oh well, at least they're some cool chapters. Leaving chapter 11 aside, of course. That one's even worse than Arcadia, because at least Arcadia had a reason to be covered in sand. Chapter 11 FE12 has nothing going on, though, so you can just take your sweet time, making it way less interesting and fun than Arcadia. Yeah, I don't care what anybody else thinks, my humble opinion is that Arcadia is a well designed and fun desert chapter. Although, objectively speaking, the whole concept of desert chapters is rather flawed in general. Oh god, it's Jagen's judgement on our death count. I had 15 games to choose from and I had to go for the only one that calls you out for being a terrible player. We've only lost seven units! It's not that much! We still have another army worth of benchwarmers! God help us all. No, actually, scratch that, I don't think even God would have the power to overcome Pretzel's suckiness. Maris! Maris incarnates everything that turns me on in a woman. That's all I'm going to say on the matter. Well, she does have one flaw, but it's all right. I forgive her. This is it. She's the worst bargainer in history of mercenarying. I think it would be more expensive to train you in the drill grounds! Look it's Dice! This guy isn't as bad as Frost in that his portrait actually looks like it belongs to an ally, unlike in the original Archanea Saga where he looked like he hadn't brushed his teeth since the Big Bang. But seriously, do me a favour. Go look at the wiki articles of this guy, the Sabre Knights and Frost. At first glance, they look like minor boss stub articles! I find it weird that they made some artwork of Maris, but forgot about her father who's got an even more unique design. Such wasted potential. Actually, I know why they gave her artwork. I know exaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaactly why. Wink wink nudge nudge. Some more talking! Horace is in trouble! It would be a shame to lose Horace. I guess. Not that I really need him with Matthis and his huge defense, but still, I don't want to make Jagen cry. And that's a wrap. Like always, I'll talk about Maris and Dice next time. Dishonorable reset count: 1 Reset count: 4 (Pretzel: 3 - Marth: 1) Death count: Linde                       Samto                       Navarre                       Arran                       Norne                       Roger                       Cain Woohoo! No resets or deaths today! Let's hope it lasts.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franp3 Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 13 minutes ago, Rubenio said: Well yes, his name's Rody. It's actually the ghost of Arran's killer. Only executing Etzel will appease his spirit now. 23 minutes ago, Rubenio said: Wow. Look at that. Not even silver bow Snipers can bring Matthis down! This line is ultimate, irrefutable proof that your Matthis is the best Matthis to ever live. 1 hour ago, Rubenio said: Although, he does look a bit like Wrath. Reference! FMAB Wrath? Wow, he actually does. Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted August 16, 2017 Author Share Posted August 16, 2017 (edited) Damnit, every day it's harder to think of something funny and original to place here. Eh, that's just fine, I'll do the typical "I can't think of anything funny" joke and that'll do. That's the oldest trick in the world, are you sure you want to do that? I'll throw in my axe as well! You are a failure of a comedian. ...why do I do this to myself? I could be doing something productive. Like driving tests. ...on second thought, I'd rather die. Well, not that much, but this sucks less that studying. ... Part 19 - I refuse to use the same units as everybody else. I'm a special snowflake. Snort snort. Also, this title is far too long. 21 hours ago, Franp3 said: It's actually the ghost of Arran's killer. Only executing Etzel will appease his spirit now. Well, he can go fuck himself. Etzel's too good to just die like that. This line is ultimate, irrefutable proof that your Matthis is the best Matthis to ever live. Probably because he's also the only Matthis to ever be trained. FMAB Wrath? Wow, he actually does. It seems everybody and their mother is in this game. Awakening and its myriad of DLCs have nothing on New Mystery of the Emblem slash Heroes of Light and Shadow! As I did with the hat, I've decided to accept the mask and go with it for one chapter. Hopefully, somebody will vote this time. Personaly, I like it, Pretzel's not worthy of Etzel's monocle. But as always, it's up to you. Spoiler But Roro's mask doesn't have a mouth! These side stories are my favourite chapters when it comes to plot. It's so easy to do the cropping work for gaiden chapters. Reclassing. Frey will benefit from the defense boost, while Matthis becoming a Paladin never actually happened, so I'm not sure why that picture exists. Before we go, I've some reviewing to do. My waifu Maris and her dad have officially joined our army. Maris is the first female Myrmidon. Being a natural female Myrmidon is not as good as being a natural Pegasus Knight because the lady sword exists, meaning having a good sword rank isn't that important for girls. Maris has shoddier growths than Navarre, but her bases are equally as awesome. I love the fact that she has a rather high defense base, yet her defense growth is laughably bad. Overall, she's a decent unit. Probably better than Athena, but I swore I'd use Athena and I will. Dice, the forgotten Fighter, is forgotten for a reason. Whereas Barst is a physical powerhouse, Cord is a quick all-rounder and Bord has hammer utility for a few chapters, Dice is pretty much just "worse Barst", or "replacement character 101". His bases are great, but other than that, Barst and even Cord are better than him, and join earlier. And that's not taking reclassing and Minerva into account. Dice is worse than his daughter, but usable. Although leaving massive Fighter death and favouritism aside, there isn't much of a reason to use him. Okay, time to go. This line alone raises a couple questions. First, either Horace's plot armor is stronger than anti-matter, or Roro's cutscene incompetence surpasses Wendy's crap factor by a mile. I know that's not a question shut up. Second, "old fellow"? Horace doesn't look very old. Older than you, for sure, but late-thirties at most. On his own? Not for long. But help is on the way. Horace is a down-to-earth, straightforward man. He doesn't care in the slightest for this fool's yapping. Meanwhile, Roro suffers of crippling amnesia. Horace also doesn't think very highly of the masked man. I mean, he does have a point, Roro needs a billion clones to be a threat. Then again, that applies to most Fire Emblem bosses. There's not much of a reason other than to stop him from joining us. And you guys have already failed spectacularly at that, considering we've an army or two of benchwarmers. Battle time. This is the strategy: Matthis will make a beeline for the real Roro (whom I unmasked using the trusty enemy selection trick. No, I don't know the real name of the trick. No, I don't think that pun was funny). Matthis isn't trying to leave the screen, but is instead hitting this Roro critically. Maybe I should change the thread title to "Matthis is secretely Anri in disguise". Horace does bail. He won't be needed. While Matthis wins the chapter for us, the others build a living wall so we can get some experience out of this stint. Yeah, yeah, we know that. This was a mistake. Had Yumina killed this guy, she'd died. But hey, she didn't, so she didn't. God, that sentence looks horrible. And the worst part about it is, I think it actually is grammatically correct! Correct me if I'm mistaken please. The others dodge Roro's misguided attempts at killing us. It cracks me up how Etzel is tankier than Marth. Then again, I've neglected Marth pretty badly. He's going to be needing experience soon. Look at this. A promoted berserker with WTA wouldn't have killed Matthis even if he had critted. It's beautiful. Of course, he one-rounds the guy in return. Was there ever any doubt? And the boss? He one-rounds him too. Who needs Palla, or MU, or Sirius or Catria when you can have MOTHERFUCKING MATTHIS!? Time to get some exp before leaving. No, I'm not going to stay and farm Roros. I do NOT want to lose someone in this chapter of all places. Yumina gets this good level-up. Pretty good. Then I set this kill up for... Pretzel? Nope! I benched him for Elrean today. And if Elrean's progress satisfies me, I'll probably bench him for good. I'll think of something for chapter 16x. Time to finish this. Say hello to Arran for me, Roro! Hardware limitations, that's how. At this point, you're pretty much set for life, Matthis. You can afford to get a bad level-up or five. Yeah they were human, but I can understand why you'd be confused. And here's the explanation on Roro's cloning abilities. It doesn't explain why killing the "real" Roro renders them all useless, though. If anything, it makes even less sense, because the "real" Roro is just one more Roro if this theory is correct. Nah, she doesn't have ten thousand brothers. Does she? No need to hurry, Marth. And unlike in the last gaidens, I'm actually serious now. If Gotoh wants to test us, then he'll have to accept that we take our sweet time. Is it Roro's axe? 'Cause that axe is kickass. Oh well. At least now I can rip that monocle off your unworthy eye. Yes, he does. At least for a little while. Jagen is not pleased. Me? I can't even find the tiniest shred of pleasure to transform into displeasure. Eremiah is an amazing villain for this series. I mean it, I humbly believe the only reason she isn't more popular is that her game is rather obscure. Katarina, please. You already tried this with Palette Swap Louise and it didn't exactly work wonders. Do you really think your luck will be any better with this woman? Eremiah plays the pronoun game, but because everyone in the room knows who "he" is, nobody asks, so we, as the audience, are left in the shadows. And of course, Kleine just had to squirm her way into this conversation to talk shit about Eine. You're such an annoying villain, Trasgender Klein. She's a good girl, for sure, but... is she up to the task? Bwah hah hah hah hah. I can just hear her saying this line in an utterly uninterested, bored tone. She just keeps on going. Jesus, lay off the poor guys. They're still people. #Rorolivesmatter. Although, I really like the "broken junk is to be discarded" line. It goes to show how devoid of any emotion she is. Katarina, if I were you, I'd just play along and then secretly set them free. Openly opposing her will net you nothing but trouble. See what you've done? Now they've no chance of ever seeing the sun again, and Eremiah no longer has any interest in you. You are the worst doubtful villain! Okay, that was a weird note to end the chapter on. Okay! And that was it. Tomorrow, some more. ... Nah, fuck it. Marmoturd is a funny name. Is it just me, or does the tower look really out of place? Like an amateur just photoshopped it in. Maybe it was intentional. This is a funny line, because it's technically true. I don't think those uncivilized bandit clans would ever have a reason to return from Marmoturd. What sages? They better have solid proof for this, or else I'll be forced to call bullshit! Really, Marth? He's unimpressed with himself. I would be, too. Crap units get useless crap, while Etzel seems to have done a better job at looting the castle than his estranged son, and discovers Roro's very axe! With one more might than the steel axes, and 30 crit, this axe is a really good find. Astounding job, Etzel! You saved today's batch of free items from being the worst we've gotten thus far! We got a bullion back in Khadein. Time to spend it all on a... Training montage! Elrean's defense is awesome. And as you guys will soon see, it'll keep getting better! Satisfied with his progress, I give him the Libra. He needs the luck more than Matthis. He also gets the arms scroll so he can put Merric to shame as he uses both Thoron and Excalibur. Dice also gets a couple levels. It occured to me that I don't have an axe user, and hey, we just got one! Why not? It's not as if anyone's ever used this guy. I give him Sagittarius and reclass him to Pirate. He's ready to go. Cecille and Frey are also reclassed. They'll be more useful like this. All right! And with that, I bid you all farewell. I've chapter 11 recorded already, but you know, I'd like to go to sleep at a reasonable hour at least one day! Trying to go to bed! Although, I wouldn't mind some company. Eh? Eh? Eh, never mind, on second thought, you're not my type. Argh! Stop training already! Where's Palla? I need to let her know! Definitely not my type. What the hell, Feena? This is not the time to bad mouth Navarre's sense of fashion! THE GUY'S DEAD!! Bad mouth him for reasonable things, at least! Like how he's a crappy, one-note character who for some reason spawned a whole bunch of crappy, one-note copycat characters like Rutger! Yeah, that big yellow ribbon is reeeeaaal cute. Don't get me wrong, I like a good body as much as the next guy, but I'm also rather picky when it comes to personality. This kind of crap is a real turn off. Get a brain, damnit! Feena's also pretty dumb. They could go shopping for grey matter together. Actually, it might just be the portrait, but she seems to be pretty well covered. Heck, it even looks like she's wearing a jacket! Maris' attire is more revealing than this girl's! This is not a lucky blinking shot. She actually puts this face when she says that. Feena, darling, you're in for a huuuuuuuuge disappointment like me that one time I fell in love. That's when I learnt to be picky. That much is true, but this is Fire Emblem. The less, the better. ...actually, Fire Emblem is pretty good at avoiding fanservice armor. Have you seen Minerva's artwork? She's clad from neck to toes in armor that's more gorgeous than Camilla's over-the-top top could ever amount to be. And this is coming from a guy who loves Maris' artwork. I just want heavy armor to be heavy and thin clothes to be thin. Not the other way around. Pretzel gets mad and leaves. Sheesh, I may be picky, but there simply is no type of girl that you like, is there Pretzel? Of course not. You sexually identify as Royal Guard. Training is all you need. ...what...? What is this bush doing here again? Wrys, I thought you planted it all the way back at Chiasmir bridge! I did. Maybe princess Yumina retrieved it while we were busy fighting? But that makes no sense! She was fighting with the others. Maybe she told Yubello to take it for her. That sounds most plausible. Maybe I could ask prince Yubello later? Please do. Thank you, Wrys. Oh, and plant this bush somewhere before we leave for the desert. Thanks again. I'm sorry, what? Oh well. Who cares. I sure do not. I'm off to bed. Tomorrow, we go explore the desert. Hopefully, we'll disprove the Sages' thesis and leave with all everyone's limbs attached to their respective bodies. Dishonorable reset count: 1 Reset count: 4 (Pretzel: 3 - Marth: 1) Death count: Linde                       Samto                       Navarre                       Arran                       Norne                       Roger                       Cain Edited August 16, 2017 by Rubenio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightOfNohr Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Personally, I find the mask terrifying. Keep the monocle, as undeserving he may be of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franp3 Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 (edited) 2 hours ago, Rubenio said: This was a mistake. Had Yumina killed this guy, she'd died. But hey, she didn't, so she didn't. God, that sentence looks horrible. And the worst part about it is, I think it actually is grammatically correct! Correct me if I'm mistaken please. I think it is, but I beg you to never say it again. Ever. As for the mask... As KnightofNohr said, Pretzel has proven himself undeserving of the monocle, but having it comprises almost 1/3 of his personality. Consider my vote neutral. Â Edited August 17, 2017 by Franp3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightOfNohr Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Actually, she'd is a contraction of "she had" or "she would". The correct expression is "she would have died" or "she would've died." I hope that is satisfactory. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted August 17, 2017 Author Share Posted August 17, 2017 (edited) Oh my god, it's so hot here... stupid desert! Desist from your intent to give me a heat stroke! But you're still inside a building. I can see a pillar behind you! And how come you are in a forest? You sent me to the rearguard forever, remember? I'm defending the entrance to the desert with the others. I'M BEING USEFUL! Is that what benchwarmers do while the others hog all the glory? Good to know. Don't change the sub-- Ruben, the vanguard would very much like to leave this desert as soon as possible. Very well! CHAAAAARGE! ... Part 20 - The Sages were right. On 17/8/2017 at 3:17 AM, Franp3 said: I think it is, but I beg you to never say it again. Ever. Gotcha. I didn't plan to. On 17/8/2017 at 3:22 AM, KnightOfNohr said: Actually, she'd is a contraction of "she had" or "she would". The correct expression is "she would have died" or "she would've died." I hope that is satisfactory. :) I find it quite hilarious that I was worried about the double didn't being incorrect, while I'd made a grave mistake in the previous sentence. So much for wanting to have a clean first LP. Oh well, nobody's going to care about a typo or fifty. Or five hundred. Spoiler A bad chapter. That's where. Especially the wyverns that soar and dominate the skies. Fuck those guys. And centuries later, Marth left it at home when he left to put an end to Lorenz's rebelion. Which makes no sense at all, although knowing Marth, he probably just didn't want to use it in hopes of being able to just subduing the rebels. After all, he's a weak, idealistic child. That said, there was no reason at all for him not to at least bring it along. It's your fault that Altea fell, Marth! You're right, Marth. I don't think the dragons double you (the perks of having gotten speed in every single level-up) but I'm pretty sure they kill you in two hits. Pretzel isn't exactly your most wonderful companion. He isn't even coming with you today! Formation. This chapter'll be Elrean's ultimate test: if he fails, Pretzel will stay. If he succeeds, he'll replace him. Prove that you are the only on worthy of succeeding the Pope, Elrean! But first, Dice tricks the first Wyvern into attacking him. He gets this absolutely awesome level. He'll be needing a skill book (and probably go back to being a Fighter), but other than that, I've a good feeling about him. All right, Elrean. First part of your test. This is why I like Elrean. So much defense. Second part of your test: Excalibur. Fuckin' A. And now, the most crucial part. Leveling up! Nice! Not too shabby. You do need luck. Neat, although I'd have liked it better if you got speed. As it stands, you're dangerously low on that. Some of the Wyverns double you! Frey kills the guy Elrean pulled in. And we get ready to welcome the next Wyvern properly. They really like Dice. He won't allow them to burn his mustache, though. He then moves up to throw a hand axe at this guy. Sheeda misses a javelin and crits the second one, leaving him with a single HP... And Marth finally gets a kill. All hail the Hero King! More death. Elrean will be making good use of his Thoron in this chapter. This is it. Elrean is not in any danger, the rest of the Wyverns haven't started to move yet. Never mind, they still love Dice far too much. Dice doesn't do as well this time around, but he's still great. Had I known you'd get a crit, I'd have made you use Thoron! More luck, and defense. Not bad, not bad at all. Your magic is lower than I'd like, but it's not like anyone else needs the spirit dust, right? Formation. Don't worry, Etzel doesn't get doubled, I made very sure of it. We're starting to run low on nosferatu charges. Maybe I'll have to deploy Malicia once more. Hopefully not, though. Great work, Castor, but I'm a little worried. Four Wyverns is nothing to sneeze at. Still, I'm pretty sure we can handle it. Castor! Bah, regardless. If we do this, then Sheeda might be able to finish him off. I'm looking forward to the day I won't have to deploy Sheeda to recruit anybody and will instead be allowed to bring somebody useful. If I recall correctly, that'll be every day after we're done with this chapter. NO! CASTOR! This isn't the time to miss! That's one down, but we're still in trouble. Even more so now, Frey's using the dreaded devil sword. Not bad, I guess. Dice! Stop missing everyone! Thank God for Yumina. Save the day, princess! I am forced to drop a Matthis Nuke on the Wyvern Castor failed to kill, while Elrean electrocutes the Wyvern Dice failed to kill. And I think we just lost Wrys. I can't cover him with Sheeda because the stupid Wyverns kill her just by looking at her, and nobody else is available. Damnit not yet. I'm not ready. Wrys! YES! AWESOME! Aw, but he'll get doubled... Damnit he didn't crit. He died fighting like a badass. 'Tis a pity indeed. But you did well. I'm very glad I took you with me. ARGH! What?! I can't see anything! Ah... Gah! That... was awesome. Where'd he go? Maybe that was just a hallucination... Right behind you, my friend. AAAAAAAARGH! Damnit Wrys! Ho ho ho. Unh. Frey I swear to God, if you kill yourself-- Okay, good, good. Hah, silly me. Frey would just survive dying. Like always. Player phase! That'll be another level-up for Elrean. Do well, Elrean! And well he did. Pretzel? Who's that? Man, Cecille is so fragile. I am not risking this. Instead, she tases the guy Etzel wore down. So many unnecessary crits. You assholes. You all realise if you hadn't wasted all this good RNG, Wrys would still be in fighting condition, right? I believe there's only one Wyvern left at this point. Dice again!? Lay off him already, dangit! Yumina will level up after this. Don't let your new colleague surpass you, princess! Excellent! She's never going to reach Elrean's amazing defense, but this is still great. More fighting. I believe Dice deserves to get a kill after getting incinerated by Wyverns so many times. Damn you, Castor. If you'd done this to that Wyvern, Wrys wouldn't have had to retreat. This happens, too. I'm not sure why I did it. Just for the hilarity of watching people be slaughtered by Matthis I suppose. A poleax Barbarian? Really? Who's going to bring a Cavalier to this map!? It was at about this point that I decided I didn't really want to give Frey all this experience. There's somebody who needs it more. Go ahead, Dice. Teach these guys why you deserve to have artwork. D'awww, bollocks. He's going to go for Etzel, isn't he? Bah. Oh well, all things considered, this is good. Okay! Get a good level-up, will you? Pretty good. Speed's good. This happens, too. Damn great level-up. And that's it for the first half of the map! Marth retrieves the cards, and we begin to move north. Matthis and Sheeda also stumble upon our first pieces of treasure. These will be useful. A crapton of turns later, we're ready to go. See, this is why I like Arcadia better. Arcadia was better designed to force you to hurry up, multitask and all. This map, on the other hand, is nothing more than a snoozefest. Quite frankly, I can't understand why so many people despise Arcadia. As I've already said, the whole idea of desert chapters wasn't too bright to begin with, but Arcadia actually did make good use of the gimmick. Let's make Sheeda carry out her last contribution to our cause. Hint hint. A tiny bit? With your stats? Then again, for some reason you're an enemy unit. You must be great at going undercover. We could use that talent! Yeah, but no need to join the blue guys. Stay undercover. Sheeda don't give him those eyes. Last time you tried that, it cost the guy his life! I guess so. Jake is this game's Wolf / Sedgar. Except his growths are a tad lower than Wolf's and Sedgar's in FE11, and he joins later than they did. Not too bad, but I don't think he's worth the trouble. The infamous master Swordmaster and his Wyvern! Matthis will draw him in because there's no chance in hell he's going to die. The Wyvern will probably go after Dice anyway. Matthis doesn't get critted, but then misses the Wyvern. Bah. This game doesn't magically repair the items that enemies drop! At least this has more uses than Mercurius. Oh, I wasn't expecting this. And Elrean brings down the Wyvern. Don't die, Yumina. I try this just for shits and giggles. No dice. Oh well. Heh heh heh. I wait him out, and the master Swordmaster can't dodge Matthis' lance this time. And Elrean does him in. Yet another level-up for him. Getting him up to speed wasn't very hard. Great, very great. He's faster than Yumina now. Okay, let's bait the northwesternmost Wyvern. Rolls right off the tongue, eh? Jake borrows the cards to visit his darling. He should have one of his own, all things considered, but eh. Maybe he left it at her darling's shop. C'mon! Move already! Oh, nice, some reading material for Dice. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! This is another reason this map sucks. The enemies in the northern part of the map only move when it's inconvenient. GAH! Oh never mind it's just 12 damage. Matthis was so befuddled by that tremendous blow to the head, he missed his second javelin. Holy crap that's a great level-up, though. To be frank, this was a really stupid risk, but I wanted to be done with this chapter already. Still, it's Matthis. No matter what, he shall not die. And now, we've less enemies to worry about. But still, that damned Wyvern's driving me nuts. Hey Anna. I don't know, maybe because he's your boyfriend and has been here until we recruited him? You're still epic Etzel. And now that we've lost Wrys, we need you even more than we did before. Looking at this, I just realised, Elrean is now as tanky as Etzel, and will surpass him once we promote him. Why do people consider him to be worse than Merric, again? Ah, right, worse speed and luck, no insta-excalibur, etc. But still. He's a tad underrated, I believe. And this isn't just personal experience either, I checked, he's only 0.25 points ahead of his average defense and actually a little behind in HP. He is pretty blessed in speed, but my point still stands. MOVE DAMN YOU! At last, god damnit all to hell. At last! No, Matthis! Don't do that! Oh well, it's not as if this is wasted experience. If he's still alive by then, Matthis is coming to the endgame, no questions asked. Oh well. This guy tries to reach Cecille, but can't. Instead, she goes to him and almost gets one-shotted. Sheesh, Cecille. She really doesn't work as a Myrmidon. Treasure time! That dust is going to Elrean, I think he'll make a better use of it than anybody else. I wanted to give this kill to Elrean too, but... Yumina decided the princess of Grust was more worthy of the experience. I have no objections. Even more treasure. Athena will probably make good use of the Elysian Whip. Elrean will be taking the goddess icon, and I don't know about the rest. After much pondering, I decide to buy one dragonpike and one wyvernslayer. That should be enough, and I can still afford the three physics. And that's that taken care of. Goodbye, stupid desert chapters. What are you doing here, Pretzel? Get back to the rear! Oh hey, smug Tiki. How's it hanging? Marth doesn't find this suspicious at all. I beg to differ. No, she didn't. I don't know, Tiki. It's not easy to go see you like this. If only Gotoh wasn't an asshole and agreed to teleport Marth a couple times... blame Lord Gotoh Inconvenience the Pompous. what?! indeed. He finds this line weird, but not the fact that she's all the way out here, alone? After Bantu told him Gotoh took her back to the Ice Shrine? Oh, snap! It's Xane! I love this line. Pretzel may be bland and a Mary Sue, but this one line makes his existance worth bearing. Unless your Avatar is female, in which case she only says "the little girl is now a man!?". Boooooooooooooring. Yeah, pretty useful one, too. Although I don't really like using him. I'd rather have another real unit instead of this guy who needs healing and a dance not to fall behind. Eh. Pretzel beat you there. And if the Avatar of all people beats you when it comes to dialogue... Yeah, some answers please. Not right now, but it will in a few chapters apparently. And that is it. Tomorrow, we keep moving towards Lord Gotoh Inconvenience the Pompous, in hopes that he won't force Marth to say GIP and a bunch of funny colours before handing over the Lightsphere to him. Dishonorable reset count: 1 Reset count: 4 (Pretzel: 3 - Marth: 1) Death count: Linde                       Samto                       Navarre                       Arran                       Norne                       Roger                       Cain                       Wrys* *Retreated.  Edited August 18, 2017 by Rubenio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franp3 Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 11 hours ago, Rubenio said: Still, it's Matthis. No mather what, he shall not die. Hes going to die next chapter. Called it. 11 hours ago, Rubenio said: *Retreated. Denial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted August 18, 2017 Author Share Posted August 18, 2017 16 hours ago, Franp3 said: On 17/8/2017 at 4:43 PM, Rubenio said: *Retreated. Denial. Bah. YOU are in denial, if anything! Wrys is right here! Right, Wrys? You should accept the truth, my friend. I am not here. I was never here. None of us even exist. B-but... You must let go, my friend. But then... who'll plant Yumina's bush repeatedly? There is no bush. ... !!! Where... Overhere. We need to get going. Those mountains behind me aren't going to climb themselves. ...how does he do this stuff? I don't exist? Why would he say that? Ah, I agree with him there. You'll stop existing soon. Sure. Like the other thirty times you've told me that. I'm just waiting for the best moment to do it. It'll come, in time. You can take my word for it. ... Part 21 - In which I prove the Sages and Franp3 wrong. I used to be adapting to updating in the morning, then I took a family reunion to the knee... Also, it is LP canon that Wrys has superpowerful metamorphic hair that allows him to beat even death. It's MY Let's Play, MY story, MY rules, and that's final. HMPH!  16 hours ago, Franp3 said: Hes going to die next chapter. Called it. Hah. Just you wait... Spoiler According to my favourite Nohrian Knight, it is. Let's listen to him, as usual. He's not worthy of Sirius' mask, anyway. And I don't even like Sirius! Still, I've found a use for Pretzel, so I can't complain. Gotoh is the biggest asshole in history of this universe's mankind. Is this like Death Note? Was he just bored? Because this is simply disproportionate. It would be sort of fine if we were anybody else, but Gotoh already knows Marth is a good man! He watched his actions last war! WHY DOES HE HAVE MAKE US WASTE SO MUCH TIME?! THE END OF THE WORLD COULD ARRIVE ANY MOMENT NOW! And yes, I know I already said this. It just begs repeating. What if Marth tripped and fell into the lava? Gotoh would be responsible for the end of the world. And that's the plot. How convenient. Learn, Gotoh. Free stuff. Another sleet's fine, we're running low in tomes; I also appreciate the coffee thermos, and Tomas' bow. Hah hah. Just joking. If anything, it's Gordin's bow. Tomas is amazing. Also, the game does not formal writing. Eh. It's all right. Although, I do believe "all right" sounds a tad better compared to it's shorter version than "all though" and "all ready". Okay, conversations. Aw, he cares about her. We've a metric fuckton of reclassing to do today. The Cavaliers get back on their horses, Dice goes back to his original class, and Etzel... I was going to reclass Etzel to Bishop now that we lost our staffbot, but it seems he reached C last chapter. I knew you could be trusted, Etzel. Also, Elrean Wait, Pretzel? I've decided Pretzel will be our new Wrys. Look at that shit, his stats are almost the same! He does have a lot more HP and a lot less res, which will probably make him harder to kill. He'll provide some mad chip thanks to his A tome rank while acting as a backup staffbot to Etzel. Hopefully he'll reach C staves soon. This is also the only class in which nobody else outclasses him so badly it's not worth it to deploy him. There we go. Secondary staffbot ahoy! Statboosting and Starshards. I do believe Cecille also got Cancer. At the last minute, I remembered to make Jake give back his cards. I always forget to do this. Except it's usually in chapter 11 which doesn't have anything as awesome as the 3 physics. And now Elrean is a Dark Mage. Look at that defense. Hahahahah I love this guy. This reminds me of something... Meanwhile, in FE6 chapter 24... Whooooooooooa! I'm burning up! ...must be my imagination. Shoutout to vilkacis from SA. I borrowed this from his awesome LP. Along with a bunch of uncivilized brutes and Darros, who's practically the same. I'd ask you to elaborate, but you're Gotoh's friend of sorts. You're almost as tedious as he is. Did I mix up the screencaps? This line is really weird. You want to know more, Marth? How about you begin by not interrupting the guy? Lore! I hate these parts. It's hard to comment them. Oh dear. Xenophobia probably severely hampered that plan. That's probably why there are so many stupid Dragons in this place and all the others on the way to Gotoh. No, but seriously, if this place is so hot and inhospitable, why are there Barbarians living here? I don't think "princey" likes that you call him "princey" very much. He's the king now, you know? It seems like nobody knows! Not even his closest allies! Maybe I'm wrong... but that makes no sense, I'm certain Cornelius was the King of Altea. Whatever, time to go. Pretty simple beginning. Good, good. Not too shabby, although neither of you dodged. That's... not too good, considering we only have two healers and a Dancer. Matthis, help us out with the Wyverns. He does so, and caps speed. Blistering barnacles, he never ceases to amaze me. This Dragon gets obliterated by Frey. I'm glad I bought an extra pike. We'll be needing it. Dice's hitrate is shaky even after he read the secret book. I hope he gets some more skill, soon. Although, he is using a hand axe after all. These suck so hard, even more so than the javelin. And with some chipping from Pretzel, Castor kills him. We've a problem now, though, a big one. There's a Barbarian on his way, as well as two Wyverns. Pretzel provides some healing to Elrean, but we're still in deep shit. Okay, he's dead now, but Elrean is badly wounded, and Yumina is in range of both Wyverns. I did make Cecille help her equip nosferatu, but... I'm honestly hoping they go for Marth. I'd rather reset. Ghhhhhhh that was so close. So, so very close. Marth gets a kill. Good level-up, although I'd like it better if you got some defense. This happens as well. Soon, he won't need the Libra. Healing.jpg and Healing2.jpg And now, as I expected, we're surrounded. We barrier up. I don't want anybody to die to the levin Swordmaster. For the same purpose, I move Matthis up to attack him. He gets hit in return, but it's fine, he won't die even if he is hit critically once. Good work, you two. This'll let Etzel and Pretzel do something other than healing this turn. See, this is what I had in mind when I gave MU that name. Oh. Salutations, Darros. Well done, Pretzel. I like you a lot better now that you can heal. Wow. He gets doubled by DARROS?!?!? For the love of-- Nice dodge. Although, what else could've happened? It's Matthis. He's invincible. This also happens. You fool, do you want to die? Okay, player phase. How weird, I can't recall Elrean critting this guy. Eh, I guess it happened. This, too. You're great, Frey, even if you're not as fantastic as Matthis. You've done enough to annoy us. Time to guilt-trap Darros! Darros has one dishonorable reset. Maybe he tripped and fell to the lava on his first day. He was too tired. Cool. Now we have another pirate slot. Darros is a decent prepromote, certainly better than the crap this game hands to you on a daily basis. 18 strength is nothing to sneeze at, his durability is okay and his growths are good. His speed base is a little awkward, but 15 speed as a Berserker will at least prevent him from being doubled. Very decent, I like him better than Jake. Let's keep going. Matthis finishes this guy off. I'm a tad worried about him, though. Just a little. I'm not taking any risks, though. Not with my MVP. Pretzel heals himself because his dad has more important things to do. And that's it. I made a mistake. See if you can catch it. I won't give you anything if you can find it, but you'll feel a little better about yourself, I suppose. Yeah... I made Cecille unequip her wyvernslayer but forgot to change Frey's dragonpike. And of course, the devil axe didn't backfire now that I needed it to. Still, I'm not worried. It's Frey. He probably isn't dead. He survived dying before! Yeah, luck be with you, Marth. You can stop fooling around now, Frey. ... ...Frey...? FREY?! NOT YOU! I'M SUCH AN IDIOT! I'm so sorry... I missed the battle that lead to this. But it happened, most certainly. 47 HP, wow. Well, Franp... It seems you were almost right. Had I not physic'd him, Matthis would've died right here. We can no longer ignore these guys. Time to put them out of their misery. I don't want to deal with this Dragon. Perish! Even more strength and HP for the pile. Castor got a crit here and avenged Frey in a very flashy manner. Frey would've wanted us to profit from his death like this. He always did. And that's it for the southern Dragons. Marth heard my pleas and got some defense. Cecille's level-up wasn't as great, but it has HP so I'm fine with it. And the Dragon's tamer joins them in death. Feena dances her way to a level-up. You don't need strength, you need defense and HP! Doggone it! Some more healing. No levels yet. In fact, Pretzel won't level up in this chapter at all! But it's fine, we've a lot of chapters before 16. Plenty of time to get him to level 5. Matthis wounds this fiend. And even though he's out of his range and I'm almost certain there'll be no more reinforcements until I move up... ...I heal him because I am NOT taking the risk with Matthis of all people. Etzel! That's not very good! Sure, more defense is awesome, but I need you to get speed! All of these people will kill you, and none of them will die as a result of being burned by you. Pick your choice, Dragon! Yumina. Predictable. And down he goes. Even more defense?! She's set on beating Elrean in every single way, is she not? You'll already have C staves after you promote, Yumina! You're making all my other Mages look bad! Time to move up. I'm pretty certain there'll be reinforcements coming out of these forts. Hence, I block them all. I was also worried about even more people popping out of the southern forts, but as it turned out, that's only on maniac. After much pondering, I come to the conclusion that nobody can take so many hits reliably without wasting some more nosferatu charges. Therefore, I am forced to move Matthis up and Marth down to take care of the fort. Not this again! Okay, good. I'm glad for the axe. It allows Matthis to leave all of these guys with very low health for the others to finish off. Oh. Well, I didn't expect this, but I probably should have. Regardless, Castor shoots down the Wyvern. Damnit Castor! For every Wyvern you kill, I remember the one you couldn't hit, causing Wrys'... eh... whatever, I don't know what happened to him anymore. Healing and hurting. Two sides of the same coin. You need health to deprive others of it. How very deep, eh?. Not bad. You need these stats. I send Matthis back to the south because at this point, I was still fearing the maniac reinforcements. Enemy phase. This Dragon, who, by the way, is carrying the last Starshard, attacks Elrean. And then, after some chipping by Castor... ...and this, too (not that great, but you need the defense)... Cecille does it in! It would be great if you could get some defense and strength, but so long as you get HP-- AAARGH NOT EVEN HP!!! Gah! Be more careful! Don't you worry, Rody. I'll try harder to hit you next time. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Whatever. She's still great. Not as great as Frey was, mind you, but... meh. Neither beggars nor bad strategists can be choosers. I do this just so Matthis can distract the reinforcements that will never come while the others escape. I prepare Elrean to be sent to the western frontline, and... Proceed to use Matthis instead. Yeah... I don't have any other tanks. This'll probably be bad later on. What's up with this screencap? I'm pretty sure he isn't dead yet. Maybe Matthis got a critical hit. The sprites start to blink earlier if they get killed by a crit, I think. Poor Dice. His 'stache must be all scorched by now. Elrean! God damnit! Okay, that's better. And Dice avenges his mustache. Great! Now you've the same s/s/s as Darros. In fact, I think you'll tank these guys for the time being. By now, you must've developed some fire resistance. Don't crit! Good. Matthis does some jeiganing for somebody else to take the experience. He's got way too much already. And that's it for Elrean's training! He's ready to promote. What a fitting way to end his leveling spree. Now that Frey's gone, Elrean's my second most durable unit. A Mage is my second most durable unit. Now I've seen everything. I try to kill this one with Castor, but he doesn't crit this time. So I disarm Cecille and send her in to take this hit for Castor. She does so in flying colours. Castor doesn't crit this time either, but... It doesn't matter. Don't you dare disappoint me again, Cecille! HP. That's great. Etzel heals Cecille because I want him to get another level-up and redeem himself as soon as possible. Pretzel can wait. And Matthis begins to jeigan the boss. He's tougher than the other Dragons, but he won't be too hard to beat down. Like I said, he can afford to get sucky levels like this one. A turn later, Matthis subdues our prey... Dice tenderizes the meat... And Cecille cuts it up. It's ready to be served. Mm, delicious. Hah! That's awesome! Everything she needs! All is forgiven, Cecille. I do this just so Feena can get some more experience. Now, THIS is the kind of levels you need, Feena. And we're off. Marth is not impressed by this particular tribe. Marth! They killed Frey! How can you be so nonchalant about it? Dah, even more exposition. Wow, we sucked ass. This war must've been in lunatic+ mode. So, basically, Naga carried the war. Seth and FE8 much? And then you left it at home! I'm sure everyone's already criticized you for this already, but it begs repeating. What were you thinking? I can barely understand what you say, Xane. Why can't you speak like a human being? Marth is not impressed by these news. He's been showing a lack of amazement at everything lately. This doesn't matter at all. He's still Lord Gotoh, the Inconvenient and Pompous. And guess what? So are you. Heck yeah! Now I feel proud of myself. That was badass. Oh hey Jagen. I don't know, it's fine here. Then again, I'm sitting in northern Spain, not the flame barrel. Jagen's judgement on Pretzel's strength. I'm looking forward to this one. Yeah! You suck! And so, THE GREAT AND MIGHTY HERO OF SHADOW was saved by an elderly man. This is it, Pretzel. You've reached rock bottom. And inmediately after that scene, a guy clad in a huge jacket just waltzs right in! And he's talking like this is England, not the flame barrel! It's official, the Sabre Knights >>>>>>>>>> Pretzel. I'm not even joking, I burst into laughter every time this happenes. Pretzel's clothes are thinner than yours! They rushed here. Let's take a moment to appreciate the fact that these guys crossed the desert of death by themselves, as well as the walls of offscreen towering mountains, unseen sheer cliffs and irrelevant deep valleys. And they hadn't an army, they had each other and their stats. Wow. I can't be the only one who thinks they're wearing their jackets over priest robes. As in, real life, local priest robes. I love these guys. Everyone always speaks of how boring and forgettable they are. But c'mon, these guys are awesome! Look at those magnificent jackets! I'm pretty sure Robert could fit one of his bows inside his collar! Okay, I'll focus now. Leiden, I'm pretty sure we aren't "powerless". Although, maybe you only heard about Pretzel. That would explain it. That's a good question. Care to elaborate? Yeah... """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""gone""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""". I do believe Marth is just as confused about them as I am. No, plot armor be damned, these guys are dead. I can wrap my head around them surviving their Archanea Chronicle (Camus probably took all the blame and told them to hide, and just like all the fanbase, none of the Dohlrians could be arsed to find them), but this join time is just plain weird. That said, I'm glad they didn't wait until Altea. They would be useless if they joined then. More on them tomorrow. That should be enough for now. Dishonorable reset count: 1 Reset count: 4 (Pretzel: 3 - Marth: 1) Death count: Linde                       Samto                       Navarre                       Arran                       Norne                       Roger                       Cain                       Wrys*                       Frey *Retreated.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightOfNohr Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Actually, "all right" is the only word that rule applies to (as far as I know). "All ready" means something entirely different from "already" and "all though" isn't even a phrase. On a side note... R. I. P. Frey. You only live twice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 No update today, sorry guys. I've had a shitty day and the least I need right now is to sit here and write for three hours. Tomorrow morning, perhaps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted August 20, 2017 Author Share Posted August 20, 2017 ... ... ...pffft.... pff... pffheh... No... PFAHAHAH... HAHAHAHAH! HAH HAH HAH! HAAAAAH HAAAH HAAAH! What have I done to deserve this? Oh, good evening. Sir Leiden, is it? ...why is Ruben going nuts overthere? Don't-- Ahah... hah... hold on, hold on, I'll tell you. Ahh. Suffice to say that it involves Leiden here. Why me... ...how peculiar. Part 22 - Leiden best unit, part I. Remember how I said I'd had a shitty day and I wouldn't post today? Yeah... you see, Leiden singlehandedly turned that around. You'll see. Or well, you would see if I hadn't told you all not to look at this thread today. Oh well. I was still in a damn bad mood back then. No point in crying over spilled milk. 21 hours ago, KnightOfNohr said: Actually, "all right" is the only word that rule applies to (as far as I know). "All ready" means something entirely different from "already" and "all though" isn't even a phrase. On a side note... R. I. P. Frey. You only live twice. That's good to know. Thank you. My theory is that Frey was secretly a cat Laguz (and therefore had 7 lives) who was killed in the shores of Tellius. Then the waves brought him to Archanea, where he served under Marth until the whole bussiness with Jiol. And then, in the prologue, he was killed 5 times, hence why he only had one life left by FE12. A life I wasted by being an idiot. Spoiler With every chapter, my hatred for Gotoh steadily increases. I'm going to end up playing through FE11 just so I can kill him. I wish he was playable here. I could feed him to Medeus. His name would be right on top of the death list. Italic, bold, underline, size 72, etc., etc. Thankfully, this isn't FE7. There isn't an arbitrary snow-equals-desert mechanic that sucks ass and serves no purpose whatsoever. Yeah, Elrean and Dice in particular. Also a certain redheaded Archer, but we don't talk about her. Oh look, it's a Jagen judgement! Most people are pretty much bound to get the worst option for this one every time, considering the Avatar has the best availability of any unit in the game. An ordinary MU will never, ever need the drill grounds. I don't need a tutorial on the drill grounds this far into the game, Jagen! This is Leiden's inventory. As you can see, he's taken Frey's kit. Speaking of whom (Leiden, not Frey), I think it's about time I say a few words about the good Knights! I shall begin with Belf, as he's their leader of sorts. Belf is not very good. His speed base is bad, and his growth won't help his case very much. He doesn't have amazing strength, defense or really anything else to make up for that, either. He's salvageable, I guess, but his below-average speed will drag him down. Robert is even worse. His bases are worse than Belf's in every way except for speed, and his growths, while pretty good, aren't really worth the trouble. He's just Jake with slightly better bases and slightly worse growths. Not useful in the slightest at base, but I suppose he can become good if you give him a bunch of levels. Now, seeing how similar he looks to his colleagues, one'd think Leiden's just as bad statistically. Wrong. For one, his bases are way better, losing a little in strength to Belf, but being better than or practically equal to him in everything else. His growths, too, are quite great, with all his offensive stats over 50%. He isn't as good as the christmas Cavaliers, Frey or Cain (mainly because of his inferior availability), but if you need a replacement, Leiden does the job perfectly (in this difficulty at least), joining with good stats, an adequate level for this stage of the game, and growths that'll allow him to grow into something good. With that out of the way, let us-- Elrean! Our best Mage is here to speak the truth! I wonder how this would've played out if Merric was dead. Probably the same, considering Feena didn't give a flying fuck about Navarre being rotting back at the Fane of Raman forest as she insulted his appearance. Hah. I couldn't have said it better myself. Jesus, he just keeps on roasting the fool. I'm not complaining though, keep going, I beg you! Yeah, he's humble 'cause humbleness is an admirable trait and the player's self-insert must be awesome in every single way. Besides, everybody else's got him covered in the praise department. Well, except for Elrean because he's the best Mage ever. I know the writers intended me to be on Pretzel's side here, but I can't help but root for Elrean. Anybody else agree? That was excellent. Time to-- Etzel! I'd tell you that guy's your son but you'd be disappointed. Nah, no need to. You'd be bored. It's always the same, Jagen expositions, Marth asks Pretzel for advice instead of Jagen who's his actual tactician, and Pretzel does nothing of interest and is praised for it. Not exactly... Let us keep a minute of silence now. ... Pretzel! You're so stupid! We were only 12 seconds in! Hey, if it helps you to keep rendering Wendell irrelevant... Okay, enough of that. We need to-- Castor! I hope you have improved your lying skills further since the last time. Hahaha indeed, my friend. I see you are still spectacularly pathetic. Not too bad. But you've still a long, hard way ahead of you. Okay, Castor! Now, respectfully decline and slowly le-- No! Why, you idiot? See what you've done now? No gold, no rest. And the award for the worst con man goes to... ...Castor! He's even commited the greatest mistake you can make in Castor's bussiness: being honest. Oh, dear. Don't you worry Castor. If it comes to that, you are way stronger than Pretzel. Even though he's promoted. In fact, I think you double him. Just hope he doesn't crit you with sleet... Ergh. Pfhahah. I just can hear his dissonant, meek voice as he sweats bullets. They did an amazing job making his portrait look absolutely pitiable. "Rather complicated"? Understatement of the year. Not of the century though. That honour belongs to Marth's "that's good to know" upon learning of Michalis' survival. Matthis, too? Dangit! Still, for you, I'll endure. Hah hah hah hah! So brutally honest. I love this guy. Right you are. For instance, I can't beat a chapter without messing up at some point. ...what...? You already have! It's like comparing Seth to Amelia! I don't like where this is going. No! I disagree! Stop! Halt! She'll die irremediably! Cease this tomfoolery at once! You don't know what you're doing to yourself and Lena, Matthis. Hahahah. Still, I can't say I don't agree with his mindset. Even a guy with Matthis' tremendous power needs a rest, amirite? Let Pretzel do the dirty work. And if he attempts to resist, well, I think you destroy him with just one strike of your silver lance. Speaking of powerful people... Elrean can now heal. Although that isn't what he'll be doing most of the time. We've got Etzel and Pretzel for that. Nah, Elrean's main function will be to kick ass. Look at that. He's more durable than Etzel as a Sage. Etzel does have C staves though. Still, it's always good to have an extra healer. Those statboosters are too dusty. Let's put them to good use! Now Cecille has more or less the same stats as Frey. Etzel takes one of our speedwings because I'm tired of fearing for his life. He's great, but his meh bases need a little help. I recorded up to this point on the same day I played chapter 12. Today, I retrieved this free stuff. It's all very useless, although I do appreciate Elrean's bonus. I'm already looking forward to his next verbal beatdown. I give Cecille this master seal. She won't promote right now, but she will later on. I want her to do it as soon as she's ready. And here's today's formation. I would later find out the hard way that it's awful. I don't hate Xane's guts as much as Gotoh's because at least he doesn't have the power to teleport as far as I know. But still. He talks weird. Fuck him. Are you serious? Nah, that can't be it. When we arrive, a generic Manakete will be waiting to tell us "sorry, but the Lord Gotoh is in another castle!", and we'll have to climb, I don't know, mount Everest on one foot. Only then we'll be worthy of the Lightsphere. Yeah, indeed. Why can't you use dragonstones, Xane? It would make you even better. ...and? That doesn't change anything! If I give you another dragonstone, you should be able to use it. I call bullshit on you, Xane! You're lying! Oh. Well. That's... nice, I guess? Sympathizing with the bad guy? I don't know, Medeus was pretty clearly evil. Then again, there's more to evil and good than that, but this is fiction. We're supposed to root for Marth. Stop trying to make me root for not-Marth, Xane! It sounds very much like us, yeah. You know, this is starting to make us look worse than the Manaketes. But didn't you just say you hate humans? Wouldn't you root for your own kin, then? A compliment that isn't directed at Pretzel? How positively rare. Let's enjoy it while we can. Well I mean, he did just call him a more uncouth version of Elice's "weak, idealistic child", but hey! It's in an affectionate way. Yeah, thank you. You know what, even though you're a friend of Gotoh and can't speak to save your life, you're all right. Very well! Time to move up! Matthis gets a barrier. He's got an important mission. That mission consists of killing the Thieves before they can escape and force me to LTC Beck. No crits, but that is fine. I wanted to give this kill to Leiden. Just you wait. You probably won't find it as funny as I did, but fuck it, I need to tell you. That's why you're here anyway, right? To read my ramblings and watch me lose people like a fool. A trade chain later, Cecille is all barriered up now. She'll survive the Shaman and the tomahawk Barbarian if needed be. Yumina will stand here and bait the Ice Dragon over. Good, good. That went well. I mean, it could've been better, but she'll live thanks to the barrier. Hah! The Shaman went for Castor? Even though he would die for sure? And there's nobody else to finish him off afterwards? Well, you do you I guess. Yumina gets absolutely wrecked by the Dragon, but knocks a third of his health off in return. Look, an example of my deficient screencapping skills! Damned Wyverns. Good thing Matthis is ready to take them on. The western pair will take at least 4 turns to reach us, so I think we're pretty safe right now. Healing. It's uh... just about as profitable as one'd expect from Pretzel. Cecille and Leiden then team up to kill the tomahawk Barbarian. Leiden finishes him off in an unnecessarily critty fashion. Not very good, but it's an start! Also this isn't the reason he singlehandedly turned my shitty day into a good one. Naaah but you'll see, later. Healing, and Etzel gets an absolutely awesome level-up. Top tier, right here. Once the enemy phase begins, Pretzel is attacked by the Dragon. He wears him out some more. I do believe Leiden can now finish him off with the dragonpike. These two idiots suicide themselves on Matthis. Matthis proceeds to profit from their deaths. With flying colours. These guys are on approach. But I'm pretty sure we'll be able to handle them. Good, that's it for the Dragon. Now we only need to kill the other three fools and we'll be ready to face the Wyverns. The question is, can we kill the other three fools in one turn? Castor and Dice-- Ahem, before we do that, let's check in on Cecille. Good work, Cecille. You're one step closer to promoting. Okay, Yumina finishes what Castor started. Pretzel's resistance makes him one of our best magic tanks now that Wrys is gone. Although, he can't compare to his dad. And that'll be another level-up for Leiden. Awesome! You're in the team. Matthis returns and the next turn, he kills the Thief just before he robs that chest. Yet another kill for Leiden. I want him up to speed as soon as humanly possible. Then Yumina decides she needs the experience more than anybody else. She's the princess of Grust, after all! Meeeeeeeeeeeh. That's bad, but you've gotten so many good level-ups I can forgive you. Marth begins to move to the eastern chest in order to open it and claim its contents. While he does that, Matthis takes a pounding. Good thing I barriered him up, eh? Although I think he would've just barely survived even if I didn't. Still, he won't survive another turn. Pull back! Leiden will take the enemy on his own. He'll live, I made very sure of it. Like so. Elrean doubles these guys. He's as awesome as his opinion of Pretzel would imply. That means a lot. Another Dragon bites the dust. Eh. That's bad, but after your last level-up, I can forgive you. I guess. Don't let this happen again, Leiden. Matthis goes in and wears this guy down. Or, well, that's what I had in mind, but then Matthis decided to use his seahorse face to obliterate the Dragon. Bah. Retreat, I don't want you to destroy those three jackasses too. Great, but defense is more important to you than strength. Marth has finally reached the chest. Another dragonpike? Don't mind if I do! We also open this chest with the thief staff. Mostly because I always forget it is accessible from the northern part of the map. Hm. This spirit dust isn't as obvious as the last one. Maybe Etzel. Not sure. I'll have to think it over. Now, we wait these guys out. They'll be dead before they know it. Castor humilliates this guy by side-stepping his attack. Leiden doesn't do quite as well, but still kills his respective Shaman. And then Yumina and Cecille tag team to kill this guy. No levels yet, but soon™. Like the reason for the part's title. Soon™. With that out of the way, Marth crosses the river to take this wyrmslayer. And we move up! I place Matthis here to jeigan the next Dragon. Good work, Matthis. I thank you for not destroying this guy. Cecille will use the experience better. Yeah! Defense! Astounding! No time to waste. She's slower than Matthis, but he does have a huge level advantage on her. In time, she'll surpass him in a couple of areas. Also Pretzel gets this absolutely horrible level-up. Nothing out of the ordinary to see here, moving on. And we finally get to Beck! I wouldn't be so shocked, Marth, considering we met Darros and three fashion masters in the middle of a volcano. Yeah... you... certainly look and sound very honest. How does one just land up here? He was just sitting there! How is he alive!? For how long has he been here?! At least Jake had a pretty good reason to be where he was! That bored look in his face. I like this guy's appearance. Beck's basically Robert but with slightly different growths and bases. He does have much better weapon ranks, which, in my opinion, gives him a bit of an edge over the Sabre Knight. He can be a better Jeorge if you want him to. He's worth recruiting just for his inventory: A levin sword and a silver bow. And since Marth is the one required to talk to him, why not? I am a retard and didn't think of just making Beck retrieve the cards from the convoy, so instead I make Marth engage in some weird trading shenanigans. This isn't very relevant, but it's still worth mentioning because the pictures exist and I WILL use them. Cecille will begin her Paladin career by jeiganing that dragon overthere in the corner of the screenshot for Leiden. Shopping time! We buy 3 physics and 2 shavers. This serves no purpose aside from getting Feena this level-up. It has HP, so it's good. I do believe I intended to kill this guy with Leiden but... I suppose Yumina's fine, too! Eh. Not the most spectacular way to end your leveling, but you're still amazing. This is the worst part of the map: spend more than one turn around the castle, and a thousand Dragons and Wyverns will spawn and kill Beck, your healers, and perhaps Marth while at it. From that position, though, Marth can seize in one turn, provided we can clear the way beforehand. Like so. Only the boss is left. Pretty good. You're not bad, Leiden. At the very least, you are more durable than Frey. We haven't reached the good stuff about this guy yet. But we will, soon. Don't you worry your pretty little heads. Matthis misses his second strike. That's fine. We can still do it. Nice. I love these +2 level-ups. Also, level 10? Already? He's caught up to Etzel! That's how much I've been using him. Even if you die, Matthis, you'll be remembered as the best man this army has ever had, and ever will. I considered Leiden for this, but his hitrate was too shoddy. What? No! No! No no no no! That's the worst that could've happened! I make Etzel heal her, but... I fear for the future. A lot. Motherfucker! Why?! Why did it all have to go south at the very last fucking minute?!?!?! DAMNIIIIIIIIT! I don't forgive you, neither do I forgive your useless friends! God damnit! Shut up, wench! You aren't even here! And I'm glad you aren't, because you're USELESS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (To be continued. And before you ask, yeah, the whole bussiness with Leiden will take place tomorrow. So now you're obliged to come! Am I doing this whole cliffhanger thingy right? It works for countless videogame corporations, I don't know why it wouldn't work for me). Dishonorable reset count: 1 Reset count: 5 (Pretzel: 3 - Marth: 2) Death count: Linde                       Samto                       Navarre                       Arran                       Norne                       Roger                       Cain                       Wrys*                       Frey *Retreated.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightOfNohr Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 I can't think of anything else to say, so I will simply compliment the update. I especially liked the Mario reference! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted August 20, 2017 Author Share Posted August 20, 2017 Leiden! My friend! Come here. I'm going to finish telling everyone how amazing you are. No, I'd rather you just ignored me like everybody else. Come, now. That is not true. We are all family. Do tell us, Ruben. Yeah, we've been waiting all night! I personaly couldn't sleep at all! ...I could. In fact, I've forgotten where we were. Okay okay, there we go. Part 23 - Leiden best unit, part II. Spoiler Allow me to tell you the rest of this little story. So after that spectacular streak of bad luck and failure, I left the game all day until nighttime. I also spent the entire day angry because of the damned heat, but I digress. I then took the game back up. I was calm then. I retrieved my free bonuses. Leiden got exp! That's quite convenient. Matthis critted this guy's ass. Not necessary, and after the reset Matthis no longer could one-shot him, so I had to waste the silver lance. But I thought "all right, the game wants to be assy, but I won't get mad". I wore this guy down for Leiden again, and... Once again, I had to convince myself not to get mad. But it's fine, I thought to myself. I've units to spare. This foolish Dragon shall fall! And then Leiden missed. Very well. By this point, the whole thing was starting to crawl out of "frustrating" territory, and into "so bad it's funny" terrain. I had to dance for Pretzel so Leiden wouldn't get killed, and then made Cecille finish off the Dragon. Had that missed, I think I would've just quit the LP. Random crap, random crap. This went more or less well. Pretzel's level was... slightly better than last time's, but still subpar. Cecille then got to level 20 once again. It was worse this time, but you know what? Fine. The game wanted to anger me, but I was determined to prevail. This is how the turn ended. A bit of a sloppy formation, but eh, beggars can't be choosers. We were attacked on both fronts. And Matthis, too. He dodged one of the Wyverns. Not that it really mattered, Matthis would've never died, with or without that dodge. He got a badder level-up than last time. But, fineee. Cecille promoted into Paladin once again. She's got more skill than last time! Elrean tried to kill this Shaman. Emphasis on "tried". He missed. The RNGoddess wanted me to lose, badly. By this point, I was starting to crack a smile at all the crap the game was flinging at me and was going like "c'mon Leiden, miss. Miss, please! I beg you!". Of course, only then he finally hit. And then he got this piece of shit and I laughed my ass off. Still ironically. I had a shred of hope left in me. Yumina attempted to finish what Elrean started. Somehow, she succeeded. I was dumbstruck. I was forced to drop a Matthis nuke on this Ice Clan. Matthis utterly destroyed him, but not before hitting him normally and taking an axe to the face. And so, only one Barbarian was left alive. A barbarian Etzel unexpectedly destroyed, just so I wouldn't be able to feed Marth the kill. But, it's fine, I said. This will give him a level-up. Astounding! I regained some hope here. Perhaps not all is lost yet, I reasoned. Castor and Dice once again remind me of that time they failed to do this, resulting in Wrys' supernatural experience. But, hey, he got a good level-up, so I was happy. I once again opened these chests. Here, have the thief staff effect. It's... not very interesting, and unless the staffbot in question is right next to the chest, you'll never see it properly. Speaking of staves, Etzel did some staffing. Matthis is now ready to kill the second Thief. Cecille began her Paladin career by, guess what, missing this guy! Amazeballs. And then, guess what! Yumina decided she deserved the experience more than Leiden! Honestly, I had to agree. But I still wanted to train the guy. I wanted a forgettable Knight in the team, no matter how many crappy level-ups he got. And besides, it was just the first level-up. The next, I told myself, would be awesome. Matthis predictably fullfilled his mission successfully. Then we were assaulted by these fools. We retreated to fight the Dragons in peace. They made a huge mistake by crossing the river! Castor and Cecille wore the Dragon down, and... Leiden finished it off. He was now close to leveling up. I am not sure how, exactly, this worked. Or ever works, at that. It was an Ice Dragon! How, exactly, did getting frozen hurt it?! Catching sight of an opportunity for Leiden to get his next level-up, I give him a free dance from Feena. Feena got a sucky level, but hey, it had HP! "C'mon, Leiden, redeem yourself!", I said. My literal reaction: And then I went on to spend the rest of the whole fucking chapter gleefully laughing. That's how I turned your bad day into a good day? By getting an empty level? Hah hah! It was hilarious. I beg to differ. Booooooooooooooooooring. No cute girls in this story! That's a good looking jacket, my friend. You need to tell me where you got it. I-- urk! I'm off. Goodbye! All right, Leiden. Be sure to get some more empty level-ups while you're at it! Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh! ... And that was the story! Back to the present now. Or, well, the past-I-narrate-in-present-tense-like-I-usually-do-for-no-particular-reason. Etzel finishes this guy off. He's the only one in need of healing this turn, so his own staves are not needed. Hoh hoh hoh hoh. Look at him! 1 damage from Bolganone. I wish we got a Bolganone tome at some point. We got the strongest thunder and the strongest wind but not the strongest fire? Well, I mean, technically we do get it, but Elice is recruited so, so very late into the game, it doesn't matter at all. Hah. I love you, man. Have some experience. No really, I did literally spend the remainder of the chapter laughing. Healing and looting. And now, it's the off-screen walking part of the chapter again. Hahahahah. Good work Leiden! That miss was magnificent. Again! I wanna see that again. D'aww. D'AWWWWWWW!! This is a good level-up! C'mon! I was expecting you to get, I don't know, -1 speed or something. This time, I do think of just making Beck take the cards from the convoy directly. Matthis jeigans this guy for Leiden. But he still needs the dragonpike. One more damage should do it. The only one who doesn't kill the dragon at this point is Cecille with a javelin. And she does anyway. This chapter went so horribly wrong. I love it. HAHAHAH! EXCELLENT! AMAZING! MAGNANIMOUS! MARVELOUS! BILLIONS OF BLISTERING BLUE BARNACLES, WHAT A TEAM! WHAT A TEAM! WE COULD TAKE ON MEDEUS RIGHT NOW! Feena gets one of the best levels I've seen in a while. This is so sad. This time, I buy all the shaver tomes. We've just enough cash, and with the bullion we'll be getting next chapter, we don't need to save it. Cecille crits this asshole I was saving for, who else, Leiden. There seems to be a pattern here. Cecille jeigans for Leiden, Cecille crits, Leiden gets nothing at all. Anyway, we're back here. I finally notice, after three or four playthroughs, that there's a path to the lower bridge without circling all the way through the eastern side of the map and crossing the river. Knowing this, I send Elrean over to help. Having another unit that can reach the enemy in one turn (and one of Elrean's fighting prowess, at that) will certainly contribute towards increasing the chances of this attempt coming to a happier conclusion than the last one. Awesome! For the first time in this godforsaken chapter, the RNG rolls my way. More speed? Don't mind if I do! You never disappoint, Elrean. Matthis helps his fellow redheaded Cavalier kill this Dragon. This is giving me flashbacks. Hahah. Incredible. This one isn't as craptastically gleeful as your 17th level-up, but it's still goodbad. You are the Tommy Wiseau of this team. Cecille kills one of the Shamen. Just for the experience, at this point we've already won. Stats you need very much. Good work, Cecille. Leiden defeats the remaining Dark Mage for the same purpose as Cecille. He doesn't reach 100 experience, sadly. He'll have to wait 'til next chapter. And at last, we're out of here! A chapter that began well, ended badly, started over badly, and then truly ended well. (Gah, that was hard to type. Hopefully it won't be so hard to read) And no deaths today! That makes me even happier. It looks like Xane tried to emulate Marth's unimpressed gaze. Marth showed him up, and he was forced to close his eyes in shame. Of course. Lord Gotoh Inconvenience the Pompous was just worried about our health. Yeah, sure. If he was concerned in the slightest about our well-being, we wouldn't be here! Tutorial on orbs right before we get the first two. Thank you, Xane. May we proceed? I have several questions that can be summed up with this one: how does a legendary shield carefully crafted by a goddess just up and break? Gotoh is even dumber than I thought he was! No, jokes aside, he's been searching for the Shield of Seals for centuries and he never even considered the posibility of the Fire Emblem, a shield-shaped amulet, being the actual shield? God damnit Gotoh. You're the worst. Fucking Dahl. I'm so glad to have killed him back in chapter 7. We've got all the pieces, don't you worry. So that's two out of five. Not too shabby, considering we weren't even looking for them. How inconvenient that we had the Geosphere when we lost everything to Hardin. But didn't Gotoh know about this? Shouldn't he have kept the Geosphere, as it would've been safer in his possesion? Although, knowing how much of a bumbling idiot he is, we probably did a better job at protecting it than he would've ever done. Yey, he's finally a unit. Or, well, he'll be in a couple chapters. But before that... Not that anybody expected anything else. This series is all about going from fight to fight. Not old, no. There is an ally, Pretzel. You know her well, too! Next time, we go see Athena again. Dishonorable reset count: 1 Reset count: 5 (Pretzel: 3 - Marth: 2) Death count: Linde                       Samto                       Navarre                       Arran                       Norne                       Roger                       Cain                       Wrys*                       Frey *Retreated.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deskita Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 Marth looks so unimpressed at being dragged into a battle just for the possibility of more allies at the end of the last update. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightOfNohr Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Athena? Vell, this will be interesting. It's kind of sad she was saddled with such poor availability when in SD she was pretty much the best Gaiden character. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted August 21, 2017 Author Share Posted August 21, 2017 Part 24 - The return of Vun Voman. 21 hours ago, deskita said: Marth looks so unimpressed at being dragged into a battle just for the possibility of more allies at the end of the last update. I would be unimpressed about Athena, too, if I didn't like her so much. 20 hours ago, KnightOfNohr said: Athena? Vell, this will be interesting. It's kind of sad she was saddled with such poor availability when in SD she was pretty much the best Gaiden character. Yeah, Etzel wasn't quite the best Druid in history yet. Etzel > Niime. Bite me. Jokes aside, I think she and Horace should've been switched up. Athena's level is high enough for chapter 10x, but 13x is pushing it. Spoiler I've nothing to say about this title. It's a pretty good one. Marth, you're overreacting. You can see everything around you up to two spaces away. No, please don't Marth. You're more durable than Pretzel. Not really. If you know what you're doing, it's pretty easy. I will, Marth. Don't you worry. Nobody's dying here. Free crap. Experience for Feena is fine, but other than that... You know, I realise I said I don't usually bother with Dancers, but it seems this playthrough's going to be an exception. It helps that Feena is better than most Dancers, both in availability, stats and most importantly, movement. Maybe I'll give her the boots. A Dancer with 8 move would be a real asset. It's not like I ever even try to save turns by seizing as soon as possible, Marth doesn't need them. Matthis will be Arran for this chapter. Look at those stats. Jesus. He also takes the Libra, because at this point, his luck is lower than Elrean's. Etzel takes the Capricorn. Now he'll be an even better healer. Formation. It's not very important in this chapter, since it's so small, but it doesn't hurt to show it. Also, good work there Mr. Ballista Man. You're a real expert at using the weather to your advantage. Athena! There you are, at last! Stupendous. Oh look, it's Kleine. Hate to break it to you, not!Louise, but Marth wasn't even on his way here in the first place. My understanding is that Athena was fighting these idiots when we arrived. Had she not spotted you, you wouldn't have had the chance to shoot him dead at all! Unless, of course, they were pretending to fight in order to lure Marth out. Then it's even worse, because that plan's just as bad as Roro's! No... not really, no. Blind and blissfully ignorant? We're not blissfully ignorant, we know you're there! Your plan has failed spectacularly! All right, here we go. We got Athena! Athena's definitely worse than she was in FE11. She's a bit like this game's Wallace, being amazing in the prologue but pretty bad once she rejoins. Unlike Wallace, though, she has more than 2 prologue chapters, and she's not quite as bad as Wallace. Her main problem is that she's really, really underleveled. Her durability, in particular, is pretty bad for this stage of the game: her defense is all right, but her HP is atrocious. She could use an angelic robe. If you do give it to her, she'll be usable, but average. Of course, Navarre is better only because of his availability, but his personality is unbearable, and he's dead, too, so... I think I'll try to use Athena. We open the chapter with Matthis, who moves north to reveal these enemies. Then Dice fails to hit the Ballistician. Why am I even surprised. Castor fares better. Look, an easy kill for Athena! There we go. As of the southern Ballistician, I simply let Elrean take him out. Easy peasy. Enemy phase. Oof, that must've hurt. Dice and Castor are attacked as well. I was really worried about Dice, but thankfully, nobody else came to finish him off. A round of healing later, Etzel gets another good level-up. His magic might need some help, though. It's not as if Elrean and Yumina need the spirit dust, anyways. Okay, Dice, this shouldn't be hard for you. Don't fail, please. Hah! Excellent. Although, I'm still looking forward to the next secret book. That hitrate's pretty unreliable. Athena can't kill this guy, so I just unleash the Matthis on him. Unlike Dice, Matthis doesn't need to hit. And she runs down to heal. Elrean puts his staff to good use. He's our worst healer, but he gets the job done. Leiden and Marth then team up to take this guy out. I was hoping Leiden would dodge, but alas, 'twas not to be. I don't think anybody can kill him anyways. I thought well, as it turns out. This is all that happens in this enemy phase. I let Athena drink some more of her vulnerary as she moves forward. The rest mirror her movements, save for the vulnerary part. What kind of idiot would assault Matthis of all people? You can't do jack shit to him! And now he's capped HP. Good lord. He's been getting shit level-ups for a while now, and his growths are not nearly bad enough to excuse it, but you know what? His stats are so godly, I can forgive him. See the error of your ways! I'd rather you got another one of your prologue levels. Your luck's as bad as Matthis' right now, and that's like, Matthis' one minor weakness. At least you're more durable than Castor. I think. Don't let her die, Elrean. This kill belongs to Castor. Retrieve what is yours. You're just the worst, Castor. The worst! I guess it's up to Mr. Empty Levels, then. For real though. For most people, nobody ever gets empty levels, unless it is someone like a pure Jeigan. Maybe one, if it's a game like FE6 where everybody has bad growth rates. I've gotten two and we aren't even half way through the game. And Cecille has a 75% speed growth! Leiden has a 70% HP growth! FE12 is renowned for it's high growth rates for 90% of the cast, and yet I've gotten 2 empty level-ups, not counting the ones Arran got! But enough of that, we'll live, thanks to Matthis if nothing else. Marth begins to wear down the Ballistician. Or, well, that's what I intended him to do, but then he decided to crit the asshole. These guys give out some mean experience. I'd rather you didn't hog it, Marth. Although, I've been neglecting you pretty badly. Maybe this is for the best? Nothing happened during the enemy phase, so I send Matthis ahead to scout the area. Nobody here just yet... Meanwhile, Elrean heals Dice. He gets this underwhelming level-up. But it's fine. You're still great. The Ballistician in the southeasternmost corner of the map goes for Matthis, who doesn't care in the slightest. This guy also tries his luck against him. He fares even worse than the Ballistician. In fact, Matthis doubled him. Let this sink in. A General doubled an axe-user to death WITH A FE12 JAVELIN. Kleine too? Whoa, Matthis, it seems you drew in everyone left in the map. Kleine does almost nothing to him, but at least she does something, unlike her colleagues. The enemy phase is over. Damn! He'll have to use his javelin in melee range, 'cause that's the only weapon he doesn't outright kill her with! Like so. And now... It's about time you stopped pestering us. You wish. And so, she goes insane right before crumbling down and dying. Only the Ballistician is left, but we can't kill him just yet. Yeah, you have fun with Etzel. While you waste your time... Marth grabs this! Matthis will now be truly invincible as a flier. If I make him fly again after this chapter, that 26 defense is absolutely amazing. Athena hits this guy a couple times. She's doesn't get a level-up just yet, and won't today, because... Leiden needs the experience more. He's now ready to promote! Yeah, let's do that, shall we? Oh, you're still alive? Huh. How surprising. "Old"? You're not old. Older than her, for sure, but not by that much! Why are you worried about her? She's always treated you like-- Yeah, exactly! I demand answers! W-what? Little? That makes no sense! You look 15 her portrait does, at least! She's 20 at the very least! Ah, all right, she's not really her sister. But it still makes no sense. What, did she choose to be the little sister? Ah, the good ol' Stockholm syndrome. So cute when it happens in fiction. Does she really have to be a dick while her life is being saved? Although, considering Eremiah's record and the fact that this chick is basically her second-in-command, she probably knows she isn't making it out. OH SNAPEH! Gharnef's this woman's boss! I would've never seen it coming! Really though, if I remember correctly, they never explain how exactly he was revived! I'm feeling deja vu, but whatever, it just begs the question. I'll have to ask Elrean, considering he sort of witnessed Gharnef's revival. This isn't going to end well. Predictably, she doesn't care at all. You know, Eremiah, you've two subordinates left. You can't exactly afford to let one of them die for no good reason. I know they want to make her out to be a stone-hearted psychopath, but c'mon, she's just being wasteful now. You're going to regret this when the only one left alive to send after us turns out to be a doubtful, kind-hearted young girl who regrets everything she's done, has been openly opposing you for a while, and could very easily defect to the enemy. What an idiot. You'll pay for that in time. Yeah, but they made you live all this time in order for these scenes to happen. I wouldn't, either. There's something about this particular edit that's weird to me... something about her hair looks off. Meh. Hell if I know. Also the fact that she looks like a zombie, but meh, I still think my Arran edit was worse. It would be really awkward if Kleine just died right now before Eine could make it back. It still doesn't make sense, but I wouldn't want to jeopardize this touching moment. And so, Kleine's suffering came to an end. You know, I actually like the whole assassin subplot. Their interactions are interesting. They also used this chance to show the player how it is whenever he kills a generic boss. They could have families, you know? I still don't regret killing Lang. That bachi-bouzouk probably was hated by his parents.  Since that update was so short, how about we get the plot and preparations for chapter 14 out of the way already? + Truly? A mystery revealed? Will we finally meet Gotoh and get some answers? Not that we need him in the slightest. Xane already told us everything worth knowing. Wait, I don't remember this. Well, that's real nice to know, unnamed narrator, but... shouldn't Xane or Gotoh be the ones to tell us this? Although, I think this is for the best. Gotoh would probably ask us to beat Papers, Please with 0 citations and sacrifice 5 phallic members in his name before even beginning to tell us anything. The narrator, too, must've been too bewildered to think about how stupid this line is. Okay, without further ado... We now have a generic Paladin! He's worse than Cecille, but he's still fine. I do hope the quality of his levels improves, though. Free crap. Y'know, right now I'd prefer a staff. Even the mediocre. We're running really low on those. Dice! I think half the readers already forgot your name. And the other half didn't even know it to begin with! Oh God, this guy can't talk either. This guy's whole existance begins and ends with gambling. He's like Joshua but divided by a factor of 10. You are such an airhead. He just told you the thing's rigged! Although, I suppose it is true that you aren't betting anything. If you saw his stats, you'd know he has no reason to be confident. He told you the thing's rigged in favour of heads and you still pick tails? Although, I suppose it doesn't matter in the long run. For this, though, I have no excuses. What were you expecting? He just told you he's cheating! Why are you acting as if you were actually expecting to win?! Yeah you did, but he's got short term amnesia. Of course you don't, you had to pick between winning and losing, and you chose to lose. At least he can say no to things, unlike Castor. You're still ever so slightly smarter than Castor. Some time passed, so... more free things! These are truly useless. Ember's crap, and none of those characters are ever going to see the battlefield again. I'm promoting Yumina right now. We could use her C staves, and I don't think she needs that one level. Amazing. She's more powerful and lucky than Elrean, but less durable and fast, and of course her staff rank is way better. They're both great. Inventory management. Wendell's officially ran out of staves. Cecille becomes a Swordmaster. Capped skill right off the bat. How nice. Some more inventory management. And here comes the next round of statboosting! Etzel gets the spirit dust because it'll help him a lot with his staffbotting duties, Athena gets a robe and a drop that'll help her get back up to speed, Feena puts on another layer of footwear because high mov Dancers are hilarious, and Leiden hands out the Taurus because he doesn't need it anymore. Formation. Leiden will be obtaining the warp staff while the rest move north into the fort. Forgive me for how confusing this is. I was going back and fort between inventory management and other miscellaneous stuff. Matthis will make good use of the glass bow, and Beck hands over his silver bow to Castor. And I also forgot to make him put the cards back in the convoy. Not that it matters, I won't be buying dragonstones, but I need the silver card for staves next chapter. Tomorrow, the chapter. Dishonorable reset count: 1 Reset count: 5 (Pretzel: 3 - Marth: 2) Death count: Linde                       Samto                       Navarre                       Arran                       Norne                       Roger                       Cain                       Wrys*                       Frey *Retreated.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 (edited) Leiden! Unh. What? Nothing, nothing, just thought of greeting you, a great friend. ...may I go now? Do you not want to see today's update? I'd rather not. You can't exactly force him to stay, you know? Bah, I'm sure I have better stats than him. Please, children, stop fighting. We're allies. That "ally" has led nine of his "allies" to their deaths! I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. ...sigh. Part 25 - Sorry, but our Gotoh is in another castle. Spoiler Last time, we prepared for this chapter. Today, we beat it. But first, plot. That's it for the plot. Amazing. We got a new unit. Xane, the freelancer... which is a rather strange name for a character of this kind, but eeeehhhh who cares, I certainly do not. Xane's a good unit, I suppose. Having two healers, two tanks, two swift fliers is nothing to sneeze at. However, Xane is not without weaknesses: his HP base is awful and if the unit he morphs to has more (pretty much guaranteed at this point of the game), he'll need healing. Also, he only has 5 turns, and if you don't dance for him, he'll spend the first turn unable to act, and most likely, one or two more turns catching up. Honestly, I don't really like him. I'd rather have another real unit before this guy, but in conjunction with Feena, he can be good. First things first, Leiden fails at halving this guy's healthbar. Thankfully, Feena's now useful thanks to her boots. You know, this guy could be dead right now, Leiden. Remember what I said about the glass bow being handy? Yeah, Matthis one-shots Shamen with it. Elrean low-percent-crits this poor fool. Not that he needed the crit, seeing as how he doubled him. Marth then retrieves a steel lance from the convoy, and hands it over to Xane. And now we got TWO MATTHISES! Except this one will require a thousand heals in order not to die. Doggone it, Xane, we're starving when it comes to staves, we can't afford to heal 40 HP just like that! Sigh and not just any heals, physic heals! Formation time. Elrean's not what I'd call an invincible concrete wall despite his amazing defense for a Sage, but he will be able to take them on for a turn at least. Enemy phase! Leiden gets attacked by this Dragon. He doesn't do much in return. Thank God the Thief won't be escaping any time soon. Good, Elrean didn't crit this guy. Excellent. Xane performs about as well as you'd expect Matthis to. Also, this. This is pretty irrelevant. This, however, is more interesting. Matthis destroys the Dark Mage who was foolish enough to try to cook him alive. And Castor finally does something! How long has it been? And what a great level-up, too. Maybe I should stop neglecting him. There goes the glass bow. It was useful while it lasted. Hm. I don't like these odds. If Leiden misses one hit, I can kiss either the warp staff or Feena goodbye. Awesome! And unironically this time! You did well, Leiden. This is great too. You keep it up and you'll be forgiven for your terrible start. And down goes the Thief. This staff. They went friggin' overboard with this shit. 7 uses? Wow. I don't usually like to warpskip, not because I'm worried about losing a chapter's worth of experience, but because I simply find it boring. And if I remember correctly, one of the rules of the LP is that I am not allowed to warpskip. This'll be a little inconvenient, because there IS one chapter I always like to warpskip. But I'll worry about that when it becomes a problem. You did well last turn, Castor. Have something else to do. And it is time for Athena to commence her Dragon slaying! She'll be taking any easy kills I can set up for her. Hahah, amazing! Absolutely awesome! Keep it up. We fight these guys. Cecille crits the guy, leaving Etzel's hands free to heal somebody else. Instead, Elrean heals Marth. Great. Good work, Dice. Bleh. Not so good. But you're still nice. Etzel heals Xanetthis, and Yumina heals the real deal. Oh, no. Not this again! This is giving me flashbacks, and not happy ones precisely! Awesome but... Jesus Christ don't die Cecille. GAAAAAAAAAAAAH YES YOU'RE THE BEST CECILLE. Why did you have to kill it? Yes! More avoid! Ack... gulp... More avoid... please please please... Stop it! This isn't what I want! This is killing me! Aaaaaaaaargh! Damnit! Not this AGAAAAAAIN! GAAAH! Marth just HAD to dodge this, didn't he? He just had to fuckin' mock me. We need Leiden back ASAP. This level is a piece of shit, Feena. HP! Defense! Round'o'healing. I think we can finish these guys before the end of this turn. Cecille may have fallen, but she brought half the enemies down with her. I shall not let her sacrifice be in vain. Level up well, Athena! You've sidestepped some of the most important stats, but it's fine. Resistance! Matthis gets more invincible. Wow. All the prepromoted Generals we'll be getting on a daily basis from now on are going to look even worse than they already did. Another crit? Whoa. You're on a roll today, Castor. And now he's even better! Marth also gets a level-up. When was the last time? Whatever the case, defense! Yumina and Dice-- And, uh, Xane team up to kill the last of the Thieves. That's it for the first part of the map! We prepare for the next one. Matthis and Dice will be drawing in the rest of the enemies. In retrospect, I probably should've used Leiden for that, but as you'll soon see, maybe it was for the best. Matthis doubles these guys. MATTHIS DOUBLES THESE GUYS. AS A GENERAL. He also feels the need to kill this one for himself. As you wish, Matthis. There you go Athena. Another free kill for you! Not bad, not bad. Not good either, but... sufficient. Could be worse. It has speed, at least. Healing Leiden further, so he has a better chance to survive in the near future. And here we go! The remaining enemies are coming for us. Here you go, Castor. Some more experience. I don't think he'll be getting another level-up today, but he'll be close nonetheless. Elrean hits D staves! When I can finally get my hands on some mend staves, I'll give him one. Athena gets healed as well. Aaaaaaand Leiden crits the guy I was setting up for her to death. Jesus, Leiden. I know I wanted you to improve, but this is overkill! Still, maybe it was for the best. After that, I realised that Athena, Dice and Etzel were the only ones available to kill a Dragon and a Shaman in one turn. If they're both alive when the enemy phase arrives, somebody will die. After much pondering, I decide to make Etzel heal Dice. Yeah, that was the worst thing I could've done. Etzel was the only one who could reliably kill the Dragon, and then I could cover Feena with Athena. Did you expect anything better from the guy with a death count of 10? And then Dice hits the Dark Mage critically and I win the map. Well. I don't think I deserved it, but it happened. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, and all that. Of course, the guy goes after Dice. They're still obsessed with him. I try to send Castor over to help, but he's too slow. Oh well. Leiden and Dice will set up this kill for Athena. Like... S-- God damnit! Leideeeeen!!! ...I've... nothing to say. No complaints, nope, keep at it. There goes my mend staff. The next shop can't come soon enough. Hitpoints. This bad looking formation will suffice for what's left of the chapter. And... at last! AT LAST! REJOICE! GOTOH IS HERE IN PERSON! FINALLY! Finally, God fucking damnit. Can we go free Altea now? Yeah, we did a better job than you, a centuries old dragon with the ability to teleport. Hurray, +2 to all stats! Although, I liked to split the bonuses between the units that really need them better. Marth don't you dare refuse the orb. W-wh... WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! He knows the Fire Emblem is the Binding Shield? That makes no fucking sense! I thought he'd been searching it for centuries, and yet here he comes, as if he knew it from the start. I can't understand this guy at all. Yes, Marth, that is, indeed, what he just told you. Awesome. He knew this could happen at any moment and he still decided to make us go hiking before giving us the damned orbs. Sheesh. Senile old man. The real Tiki! We won't be using her. This is all very neat, but... How about you give me the orbs already so we can focus on preventing that from happening? It's like a dream come true! I never thought I'd live to see this happen! The starsphere is pretty awesome, but overall less useful than the starshards were, as they could fix the weaknesses of many units while this just gives an overkill bonus to a single unit. The lightsphere is more or less useless outside of Hardin. And here come the reinforcements. Come to me, you walking piles of experience! Matthis and Elrean begin the assault. Well, I don't think I could ever possibly set up an easier kill than that! Matthis! C'mon! I love you, but I'd love you even more if you got good level-ups! Yumina wears another guy down while Athena takes the easiest kill in history. It just occured to me that this is the first time Yumina's done anything other than healing in this chapter, as far as I can remember. And Dice superfluously critically strikes this Dark Mage. He's hit the max level! And what a way to do it, too. Maximum strength. The only way anybody's going to take the Hauteclere from this man's hands is over his dead body. Etzel levels up as well, after some chipping. Hahahahahahah. This man is amazing. Guess I'll bring along Pretzel for the support conversations, but otherwise... remember that time I said that staffbot was the only category in which nobody completely outclassed him? Well, that's mostly because you can never have too many healers. 'Cause really, look at this guy. He's amazing! Pretzel, you got a lot to learn! Castor finishes this guy off... And Leiden-- LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! ...once more... I've no objections. Treasure. Not too bad. I never use this, but it's not bad by any means. Although, I prefered it in the GBA games where it was an axe that also reverted the weapon triangle. Time to save Tiki from Gotoh. Wellisimo, Marth. She's just slooooowly going insane. She dreamt of murdering people. Jesus, poor girl. In the real world, I would never stay close to her, but here? There are more factors to take into account. Like the fact that her ENTIRE RACE is doomed to this unless we can save them. You hear, Gotoh? TIKI'S, AND FOR THAT MATTER, YOUR RACE AS A WHOLE IS DOOMED TO BECOMING SERIAL KILLERS UNLESS WE HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GATHER THE ORBS! Good thing Bantu was there to do what Gotoh couldn't be arsed to. I know Gotoh was just scared of her becoming a monster and destroying everyone around her but... c'mon. There have to be symptoms of this crap. He could've let Bantu take care of her, and at the first signs of anything wrong going on inside her head... Or, Marth! Damnit, send her over to Marth's place! Although, then again, she would've been captured by Hardin. Yeah, that probably wouldn't have ended well. Woohoo! Tiki! Tiki blows as a unit. She's miles better than the GBA Manaketes who had 50/30 uses and then became useless, though. If you get every single dragonstone available, she'll more or less be set for the entire game. That said, her speed and HP are absolutely horrendous, and the divinestone is the only stone that allows her to be of any real use at base. The more common firestone makes her just a below average unit with really, really bad durability. And the other stones are even worse. Not worth your time, I believe. She isn't even effective against Medeus anymore! Loot. The again staff is amazing, the talisman less so but still handy. And that's a wrap! Gee, you think? She's not alone. But I have to hand it to you, Gotoh, at least you're self-aware. Not that it makes your mug any less punchable. Open your damn eyes! You're not fooling anyone, in the NES and SNES you weren't blind! You're just... ...too lazy to open them! Yeah! You lazy, wasteful old bastard! Oh, no need, we'll just treck all the way back, maybe lose two or three more people on the way there, and then surrender to Hardin because it'll be more exciting to fight with our necks under the executioner's axe. Will you at least have the decency to come with us?! You're the original Athos! You could help us so much-- ... ... ... Oh, dear. I... I can't even... I can't even think of anything. I swear, my first idea was to find a funny video and place it here, but... I couldn't find anything insulting enough. You... Unh. UNHHHH! YOU HEAR ME? UNHHH! CECILLE AND FREY ARE ROTTING IN YOUR DAMNED HIKING RESORT, AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?! "HURR DURR HAVE THESE ORBS, NOW I MUST GO INVESTIGATE!" INVESTIGATE MY DAMN FIST, YOU DIMWIT! BASHI-BOUZOUK! SCOFFING BRAGGART! JOBBERNOWL! EGOIST WOODLICE! MACROCEPHALIC BABOON! HYAAAARRRGH! By the Goddess, calm down! He's nowhere near you, but I am! All is forgiven, Rody! You don't have to die any longer! HE DESERVES IT MORE! RAAAAARGH! On second thought... I think I'll just... let him... I don't think that's such a wise idea. ...then why don't you go stop him? Too much of a hassle. I think I just peed my pants... I'm sorry, what? I was too busy trying to murder you. Huh. How strange. He's giving us some actually useful information. That we would know if we spoke with Elrean. Wait, you left those alive and free? No! Why is everyone so incompetent? I'm not claiming to be a genius myself (I think it's obvious I am not, by this point) but c'mon! Anyone with a quarter of a brain would've thought of at least apprehending them! Yes, please, just go. I can't remember when's the next time we see you, but I sure fucking hope it's not soon. No, I... that won't be necessary. We'll send Luke as a messenger, don't you worry. Marth is... about as unimpressed as I am. Except I am far from unimpressed. I am fucking pissed, that's what I am. Oh hey Pretzel. You hadn't showed your face in this chapter yet. I wish you hadn't at all. Hate to break it to you, Pretzel, but you're my worst unit. You'd be benched if I didn't have to get you to level 5. And, let's face it, you'll probably be relegated to minor filler inmediately after 16x. You're only worth deploying for the conversations. He does not need strength. He needs everything else! Hahahah. Another good joke from the Magnificent Dragon Duo. But the quality worsens. And Gotoh's tomfoolery was infuriating already. He's gonna buy it, is he not? Urrrrrkk. We got a weak, idealistic child for a protagonist, a useless idiot for a deuteragonist, a senile old fuck who seeks the destruction of the world for a friendly deity... meanwhile, Hardin's the only one who's shown any competence by actually attacking us with his elite troops early on. Sure, he failed, but that's only 'cause there wouldn't be much of a game otherwise. Let that sink in. Hardin's the only competent person in this game. The main villain! Anna help us all! And for the record, I don't hate this game's story as I may let on. But, really, upon closer inspection (I never paid as much attention to it as I'm doing in this LP, not even the first time through), you begin to realise how much stupidity is involved. They could've thought out a better excuse for this dragon story arc, dangit. And as usual, I'll let you guys decide. Honestly, Pretzel would've picked yes. He's stupid enough for it. But who cares about what he thinks? It's up to you. ...Cecille... in the end, you did let a man kill you. And, you know, I just realised, we never did find out what was that sound that scared her shitless... I wonder... On 11/8/2017 at 2:16 AM, Rubenio said: I do wonder what, exactly, she heard that spooked her so. I just hope I won't lose her before she can tell us what it was. N... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S MY FAULT SHE DIED! MORE THAN... it already... was... I'll go to sleep now. Dishonorable reset count: 1 (Still wondering what I could do about this. Eh. Maybe I could just leave it as is. The shame might enough of a punishment). Reset count: 5 (Pretzel: 3 - Marth: 2) Death count: Linde                       Samto                       Navarre                       Arran                       Norne                       Roger                       Cain                       Wrys*                       Frey                       Cecille *Retreated.  Edited August 22, 2017 by Rubenio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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