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I'm in over my head - A bad player's first Ironman Fire Emblem 12 run (and first let's play)!


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10 hours ago, Rubenio said:

I'm actually glad somebody told her Hardin's last message. How this guy came to know about it is beyond me, though...

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Pfhahahahaha that edit's funny: now apparently Sirius can grow far taller than he usually is.

Sirius is Eren Jaeger?

10 hours ago, Rubenio said:

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Couldn't be any more fitting.

So says Marth, standing ten meters away from Ymir's corpse.

That line is just so dumb with Ymir dead and all.

Also Nooooo Ymir! The man who gave Pretzel his workout hat's gone!

10 hours ago, Rubenio said:

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REAAAALLY has had enough of Medeus' crap.

Medeus: One-shot by the sappiest lord in the series (at least imo). Very few bosses can claim that "honour", and even fewer with the lower caps.

 

We finally reached the end! Time to see how much shorter the epilogue is!

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I'm sorry, guys, but I'm afraid I won't be able to update today. I had my mother's birthday, and then I had to have my hair cut, and tomorrow I have to get up at 9 for reasons, and on top of that, I still haven't cropped the update (and, being the epilogue, there's only text and more text. A LOT of cropping, basically) and have some stuff to do with it before it's ready.

So, yeah. Tomorrow night, at best. Sorry.

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Don't worry, we all know how real life can get in the way of online hobbies. Spend some time with family, get some real work done, etc. Have a good day!

Oh, by the way, I find it somewhat hilarious that you didn't add a link to this LP in your signature until it's almost over. Then again, this is where the majority of you SF posts are contained.

Edited by KnightOfNohr
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Needless to say, don't worry about the update. IRL stuff happens, that's all.

Hey, It might be a trainwreck of an LP, but it's a hilarious trainwreck of an LP. (Hilarious for us, at least)

20 hours ago, KnightOfNohr said:

P.S. You might not want to advertise that you've been receiving grammar tips from a 13 year old. :)

User KnightOfNohr of the Serenes Forest, I hereby name you a Huge Nerd, with a specialization degree in Grammar National-Socialism.

 

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Canadian apologies to you all, but uh... I'm afraid the update will have to wait yet another day. The reasons for which I woke up early have kept me occupied and out of home until, well, right now. I could push the update today, but as a spanishman, I have to reach my siesta quota, and I'm several hours behind. So, yeah.

Nah, just kidding, but really, I'm pretty tired. I'll just chill and use this chance to play a new FE, because I'm tired of y'all bullying me by talking of games I don't know. You will all see once I unleash my newfound knowledge on your unsuspecting minds!

 

 

 

 

It's Tear Ring Saga: Utna Heroes.

By the way, the relatives of my normalness called, they want to know if any of you will want to attend to the funeral.

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7 hours ago, Rubenio said:

but as a spanishman, I have to reach my siesta quota

Perfectly undertandable.

 

7 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Nah, just kidding, but really, I'm pretty tired.

I think we all remember what happened last time you tried to LP while "pretty tired".

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fbDIBCu.png There you are, Ruben! It's been ages since the last time I saw you. Where in the world have you been?

ZyMLR0k.png Taking care of things. What really surprises me is the fact that you guys are all still here. Were there that many dragons?

fbDIBCu.png Well, no, but the last of them blasted the ceiling above the only exit, and, well, we've been trying to clear up the debris ever since.

ZyMLR0k.png But there was nothing blocking the entrance...

TY6Bqbi.png Yes, you arrived exactly as we were done cleaning up.

ZyMLR0k.png How very convenient.

ZyMLR0k.png Hold on, you mean to tell me you spent two days here?!

fbDIBCu.png In the darkness, yes.

ZyMLR0k.png Whoa... guess that explains Luke.

KL7BAFE.png Here, here. Have another cookie.

d0WIubs.png?1 Sniff... thanks, scary man...

KL7BAFE.png Don't worry about it. I baked a lot of them, so just ask.

ZyMLR0k.png ...may I have one?

KL7BAFE.png Of course.

LghVj9q.png Munch, munch...

Part 41 - Talking.

I poured my heart into this update, so may I ask you to be elaborate with your replies? I'd really like to see everyone's reactions to everything... special that is about to take place.

Anyway, I've a ton of replies to reply to.

On 13/9/2017 at 3:49 AM, Franp3 said:

I wrote it thinking about myself, actually...

I think it all applies to all of us except Knightofnohr.

My most sincere apologies, Yubello. Turns out you were only the 2nd worst mage in the game.

Amen.

I think they were fine, and a good way to signal the "End" of the LP. shame I can't remember who half these character were, though. That's right, someone is even more forgettable than Tomas! It's... crap, i can't remember. It's...Checks death list Norne!

Norne's a girl, which means she's worse than every male Archer. Sadly enough, that isn't just me being mysoginistic.

My personal favorite was Eremiah's. The eye details look amazing.

Yeah, I feel pretty happy about that one too.

I came up with a magnificent insult today, and I see no other place to put it. I'll speak slowly, Pretzel, so you can maybe understand it with the piece of shit you have instead of a brain. YOU ARE THE WORST PROTAGONIST IN FE HISTORY AND A PEERLESS DUMBASS. I HAVENT EVEN PLAYED YOUR GAME YET AND I'M ABSOLUTELY SURE OF IT.

I've nothing to add here. Just... never mind. You'll see.

What is left of your dignities. See what I meant with my first comment?

At least I had the balls to post my crap, losing my dignity in the process. How about you?

Do you need another hug?

No, thank you. It's starting to get unconfortable. I don't swing that way, y'know?

I mean, I don't swing the other way either, considering my preference for fuckin' strong tomboys, but eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhh.

Minerva is still embarrased by her failure of a brother.

They're both pretty bad, as is her sister. The rather unfortunately named boss of the "dragoon" Archanea Chronicle has a point. You'll see when we get there.

 I remember finding some similar theories a while back, but FE15/SOV already disproved this. In it, Grima is a dracozombie that was infused with divine dragon blood, and serves as the postgame superboss. REALLY dissapointing if you ask me.

Yeah, such wasted potential. But at least it wasn't Anakos.

On 13/9/2017 at 5:10 AM, KnightOfNohr said:

This was a great LP. Many people have wanted to show their feats to the world in order to entertain, but many are unable to. You, however...you persevered; you set yourself a challenge, and you rose to it. You may not have done something great...but you have done something very good. I humbly wish you the best in your next endeavor, no matter what it may be. 

Why, thank you. For now, trying to find the time for the Chronicles. Afterwards... who knows.

Your faithful reader and commenter~

KnightOfNohr

You were the first to comment when I wasn't even expecting anybody to notice my LP. For that, I thank you.

P.S. You might not want to advertise that you've been receiving grammar tips from a 13 year old. :)

13?! Unbelievable! This can't...

Ahem. Well, english speaking 13 year old. I'm from Spain, a country known for being awful at languages, all the way up to our president. "It's very dificult todo eso", indeed.

On 13/9/2017 at 1:59 PM, Dayni said:

Pfhahahahaha that edit's funny: now apparently Sirius can grow far taller than he usually is.

I like to imagine he asked Belf for help.

"Good day, knight I most certainly don't know. Can you help me reach that window so that I can witness Hardin's last stand?"

"Of course, General Camus."

"HUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIRRRRGH I know not of this Camus... ungh... g-gah..."

Sirius is Eren Jaeger?

Nah, Jagen is. Get it? Jaeger, Jagen?

'Hem!

That line is just so dumb with Ymir dead and all.

With everyone dead, and all. But Ymir more so since he died five minutes before that.

Also Nooooo Ymir! The man who gave Pretzel his workout hat's gone!

I liked the man. Too bad. But he was good while he lasted.

Medeus: One-shot by the sappiest lord in the series (at least imo). Very few bosses can claim that "honour", and even fewer with the lower caps.

Actually, I'm pretty sure a reasonably powerful Roy wouldn't have even needed a crit to one-round Idunn. She's that bad. Medeus at least one-rounded some of my troops.

We finally reached the end! Time to see how much shorter the epilogue is!

Long as fuck, let me tell you.

 

On 13/9/2017 at 5:15 PM, Dinkiniensis Pontifex said:

Congratulations and thanks for the great LP! Do you have any plans for a future run of this game or a playthrough of a different one?

Once again, if I do something else, it would probably be FE6. Really digging the Tear Ring Saga so far, but I'm only 6 chapters into my first playthrough, so I am not nearly as familiar with it as I am with the game I beat about 20 times in total between the normal game and rebalance patches I tried from time to time. You get no guesses as to which game that is.

On 13/9/2017 at 8:55 PM, KnightOfNohr said:

Don't worry, we all know how real life can get in the way of online hobbies. Spend some time with family, get some real work done, etc. Have a good day!

We've been having a few rather complicated days, since I start college in just two days. Today was fine, though. And I'm glad for that, because I really don't know when I'll have to time for the Chronicles. But at least I won't be in a hurry, knowing I finished what I intended to finish from the beginning.

Oh, by the way, I find it somewhat hilarious that you didn't add a link to this LP in your signature until it's almost over. Then again, this is where the majority of you SF posts are contained.

Yeah, I'm more of a lurker than anything else. I really only added the LP to my signature in case I do more of them, so the two or three new readers can come here and read this piece of junk.

 

On 14/9/2017 at 2:13 AM, Franp3 said:

Hey, It might be a trainwreck of an LP, but it's a hilarious trainwreck of an LP. (Hilarious for us, at least)

Why, thank you. Yeah, I, too, had a lot of fun making it. Especially today's update, it was... delightful, to say the least.

User KnightOfNohr of the Serenes Forest, I hereby name you a Huge Nerd, with a specialization degree in Grammar National-Socialism.

I second this motion!

Spoiler

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Say "thank you". That should suffice.

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I'm surprised you didn't throw some training into your quote. After all, Sire's only half your personality!

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The Legend of the Knight Luke, he who was not a Knight and was scared of an old Bishop named Frost.

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You are a good guy, Rody. I don't think you deserve to die, after all. And I'm glad I never did kill you!

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Can you guys please stop saying that we/I/Marth/X did it? We're 6 characters into the ending one-liners, and four of those have been "did it" lines!

Well, three, because Luke's line had more to it, but still. Let's leave it at three and a half.

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Remember this line, it'll be relevant later.

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Malicia, being the annoying cunt she is, craps out not just one, but TWO "did it" lines. Me and my friggin' mouth.

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I forgot these two existed. I don't think they ever showed up in the free craps, either!

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The axe bros all decide to go wild, drink until they fall and then some for a change. Good bros, you are.

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Some of these lines are really boring. But that's okay.

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This one's my personal favourite.

Bwahahahahah! Hah hah hah hah! Excellent. Couldn't be any more fitting.

Ah, Matthis, why are you so shocked? Before Hardin, you were impossible to kill, and after Hardin, I loved you way too much to just let you die. Which made you impossible to kill, too! You're an inmortal God! Sort of!

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You, you should be the one being shocked. Jesus. 12 defense and barely reached 40 HP almost at the end of the game. You better enjoy the rest of your life.

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Wrys does not mess around. He knows what truly matters.

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Mostyn, you mean? I think they name-dropped him somewhere, but I can't remember where. Check the wiki.

No, I won't check the wiki. It's two in the morning. I've better things to do.

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Yumina and Yubello team up to be depressing. They lost their parents, then turned to Lorenz and came to see him as their new father figure, and then they lost him as well. And then Lang happened.

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Camus!

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What? It doesn't work?

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Oh, I see, you're covering your ears with your jacket's collar. Grumble grumble. I wanted to break you again. It's so much fun.

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Sheeda is a good wife. Especially so since her favourite sexual prey, Roger, is dead.

All things considered, I think he's better off that way.

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None. Marth, his Chest Emblem in hand, is the only Thief we need.

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I think he knows. But still, thank you for telling him. Knowing how stupid he is, maybe he didn't even notice we won.

Which brings up the question, how are we leaving this valley? Will Gotoh teleport us out, or will we have to do some more hitchhiking?

Knowing him, I think we better find some sturdy boots for everyone.

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Caesar and Radd talk about Caesar's radd girlfriend.

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Yes, please, so long as it doesn't involve you enlightening us with your vast intellectual prowess.

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Bantu just goes on to live the rest of his life as a peaceful old man. I'm glad for him. He may fail hard as a unit, but I really like his character.

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Hopefully.

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Actually, it was Matthis. And some more people. But, mostly Matthis.

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Honestly, you deserve to live in such a world. You did a lot to help put an end to the era of war. Why, it cost you your life!

You know, it makes one wonder. Imagine Etzel gets over his wife's death and tries to find a new girl for himself.

"So, tell me a little about yourself, Etzel."

"Let's see... I fought in two wars and died in one of them."

"...does that mean if we go any further it'll be necrophilia?"

"Not really, I was resurrected by the legendary Aum staff. I'm a full man, if you know what I mean."

"Thank Naga."

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About 100 years at best, then.

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Elrean develops as a character and I'm fine with that.

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Yeah... let's not fuss over the little details, like your dad being dead and it being my fault.

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Remember Draug's quote?

Yeah. Draug & Horace: Partners In Boredom.

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Eh, hate to break it to ya, but uh...

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These two brood over Camus, as Robert would have had he survived the war.

Meanwhile, Camus sweats bullets while desperately hiding under his collar. Which, by the way, isn't as magnificent as the ones belonging to these guys. I just can't get over it. Look at those fucking jackets! Belf, at least, Belf should've gotten artwork! Just to show off those magnificent jackets of theirs!

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Yeah, you do that.

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Every vun? That includes me?

sGCa7Ez.png Yes, I suppose.

Oh, thank God! All hope is not lost yet!

sGCa7Ez.png Don't push your luck.

Okay, it is. Oh well. I'm still happy.

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Notice how he especifically says "world of men". Sneaky, Xane. Quite sneaky. Learn from him, Camus.

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You okay, Camus? You're shivering like you're in the north pole.

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Woohoo! Happy endings for everyone!

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Except Est and Abel!

Abel is better off dead. That way, he won't have to deal with your foolishness. And you won't have to live on knowing you ruined his life. It still sucks, but it's... ever so slightly less awful than their actual endings.

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Macellan and Dolph talk about the future of Archanea. Dolph, unlike Macellan, is quite the realist.

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That you were, Astram. But it's fine. You never did much of note.

Nah, it were your friends that did the real shitty things, and they're all dead by now, so don't you worry.

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Katarina is happy.

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Tomas! The most amazing man! Amazingly forgettable, that is! Look at that fucking line. It's like they TRIED to make it generic. I love this guy so much.

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It certainly will, since spoilers you will resign and leave Gra for Marth to annex back to Altea.

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'Twas indeed, Sammy. Shame about you never doing anything in it, aside from trying to murder your beloved Sheema.

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Frost, as usual, only wants the best for his family. That's why I like you, man.

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Roshea and Vyland got the short end of the stick here. Their leader and friend is dead, so is his second-in-command (also their friend), the man they looked up to went insane and was killed by us, their reputation is in tatters, their homeland has casted them aside, and their hero's country is in ruins.

And these two are the ones that actually get over it all! If Wolf lives, his ending is basically "I could never get over Hardin's death, so I just throw myself recklessly into battle after battle hoping to die in one of them". Sedgar's ending is slightly better, but it implies he never does get over Hardin.

But that's all irrelevant, since they're both dead.

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Mm. Endinglineforcharacterfromvillaincountry.jpg

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Michalis... you got us the Starlight. Yeah. That was good. But as a unit? You were useless.

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Good... indeed.

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The princesses just generally speak of their beloved guys.

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Except for Nyna. She just suffers some more.

Camus! Cam-- sorry, Sirius! Sirius, calm down! Your face is bright red! We can't have you dying on us! Tatiana-- ahem, your unknown beloved would be sad!

And that's it for the one liners!

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Next, fucking Gotoh.

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No thanks to you. Stupid old geezer.

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Why do you keep giving Marth nicknames?

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Does that mean I've saved you, Gotoh?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

GIVE ME THE SHIELD! I WON'T REST UNTIL I SEE IT BROKEN TO PIECES!

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Okay, you may live, Gotoh. It would be heartless to kill Tiki as well. You're not worth it, Gotoh. Maybe if you were Pretzel... but you, at least, were great prior to this war.

Maybe you're just senile. I can't blame you for that. Yes... I think I forgive you for being such an inconvenient, pompous ass, Gotoh. You've just gone senile.

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Wo-- hold your horses, Tiki! Change that face at once! That's disturbing! Is it Xane again?

No?! Jeez!

It's sad, really. I mean, Marth is barely 10 years older than Tiki... or would be, if Tiki was a human being. Hate to break it to you, but by the time it would be legal for Marth to love you back, his corpse will be long since decomposed.

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Malicia is relevant to the plot all of sudden.

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Jesus, even this bumbling bimbo noticed it.

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Yeah, everyone always loved to send Marth to places. Like Gotoh, for instance. He forced him to--

Okay, I think everyone knows where I'm getting at. So, I'll save you guys the trouble.

I think that line was longer than what I was about to say. And if you count this one in as well, it's undoubtedly longer. Meh. I should stop already.

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I would make a joke about her being in the bench with her victims, but Roger's dead and Jake's got Anna, so...

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That's not all you could do for Marth, that's the worst thing you could've done for him, in fact! Do you think he would've been happy if he knew you wanted to die if he were to fall in battle?! I'm pretty sure Marth would've wanted you to get over his death and live happily! You were just being selfish! I can't be the only one who sees this! What of your dad? Ogma? The people of Talys? They're all still there, you know.

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And Malicia, as usual, is a delusional idiot who thinks this is what good girls do for their boys, and viceversa.

Wow... maybe it was unintentional but... the writing's being subtly dark here. Wow. I'm actually kind of impressed.

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Yeah. Please don't tell him of your prayers.

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To lower the amount of cropping to do, I decided to leave all these CGI scenes uncropped, instead of just showing them once and cropping the rest. I know I said I "poured my heart into this update", but hey, I'm still spanish. Besides, that'll come later. You shall see...

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D'aww, lover lies. So very adorable.

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Hold it! When did this happen? I can't remember that scene! Did I skip it by mistake? If that's it, then so did the writer of the script in serenesforest, because the "everyone wants Marth to be the totalitarian ruler of the world" scene isn't listed there either!

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Look at dem eyes. Yeah, you'll be needing her for sure, later tonight. She's going to put you through the Roger treatment. Except, she'll actually go all the way with you.

Why do I keep saying this stuff? I'm going to college, I'm supposed to be smart, yet here I am, crapping out sex jokes one after the other.

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"But if you died, I WOULD'VE KILLED ALL THOSE FOOLS, THEN OUR OWN FOOLISH IDIOTS FOR LETTING YOU DIE, AND THEN MYSELF! AND THEN I WOULD GO TO YOU IN HELL AND BE WITH YOU FOREVER! RAPING ROGER ON THE WAY THERE!"

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"I love you. More than I do my other 10 boyfriends."

Bwahahahah. That was fun to write.

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Never mind, it keeps on going. If I'm not mistaken, this is the longest FE epilogue.

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But at least it's somewhat shorter thanks to our 15~ deaths.

Yubello and Yumina discuss Camus' disappearance.

I can't blame him. He's been needing some fresh air for a while now.

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Half of these go like this: "You guys did well!". This one adds some "gotta thank Marth!" as well.

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Also, Maria. Pfffffft. His dashingness. Bwahahahah! That's hilarious. The fact that she's the youngest of the lot, and that Catria likes Marth but didn't do anything out of respect for Sheeda, only makes it better.

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Nah, actually, she made the distasteful advances on Julian. She played him like a puppet, all while standing right next to Medeus and looking all frail and distressful!

Who would've thought...

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Julian defends himself. I would watch my step if I were you. Matthis can one-shot you. With an iron lance.

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Quite, quite. Julian recruited your brother in your stead!

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Also Rickard just sort of shoehorns himself into the conversation. Let's ignore him.

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Wrys doesn't talk to anybody. He just watches over everybody.

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Warren doesn't talk to anybody either. He just sort of says this and everyone ignores him. And then he goes back to being a lonely Hunter in the forest.

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This one isn't that interesting, honestly.

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It doesn't help that none of you did anything at all. Hell, Sheeda was the one who did the most, by recruiting all those units. Combat-wise, I think that would be Barst. Remember? We used him in Lang's chapter and he got one level-up.

 

On 10/8/2017 at 2:51 AM, Rubenio said:

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Great level-up! You're staying in the team.

Yeah... I even forgot I said this.

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What do you know, it seems Castor was a good con artist offscreen.

I... I'm not sure if I should be surprised. By now, we've seen enough to know that Castor's greatest power is underestimation.

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Darros, in turn, behaves passively-agressively towards him.

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Astram and Midia are reunited. They would later go on to travel to Elibe on their honeymoon trip and settle down there, changing their names to Isadora and Harken. And then, tragedy would force them to part ways. Again.

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Horace, Archanea (country)'s certified people informer.

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Dolph and Macellan, as described in their endings (which I didn't capture), form a band of watchmen to protect Archanea as part of her people.

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Again with the boring ass lines. They really wanted people to forget about this guy. Well, joke's on them, I remember him, and I know for a fact one of the mods of this site remembered him at some point. That's two people!

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No, Caesar. You have the non-benchwarmers to thank.

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Anna has shops all over the world, so that should be easy. You could travel to another continent and Anna would have a shop there all the same.

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One of them did well'er than the other. And that one didn't even do very well.

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Character development.

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Merric keeps on being naive. But his foolishly good intentions finally got through Elrean's granite-like skull, so... rejoice!

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Etzel's happy! That's good to see.

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Okay, I think that was all the main team characters whose chit-chat we'll be seeing. Robert is dead, so Leiden's out, Dice's unable to talk to Frost, Athena's partner was Ymir so that won't be possible either, and both of Feena's conversation buddies are gone.

What I mean to say is, how long 'til this is over?

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Now that's heartwarming.

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You've been slacking off for your entire life, c'mon, Xane, being carefree is part of your personality!

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Thanks for the help, Naga. You were only slightly worse at hiding your identity than Camus.

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More, more, more MOOOOOOOOOOOOORE! Stop it!

Hold on, it can't be... no...

PRETZEL COCKSUCKING!

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Stop it, it's... too... painful!

I think I need fresh air. Where's Camus?

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Well now, isn't Pretzel so humble?

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You know why his doesn't work? This isn't true humbleness. This is the kind of humble that really means to say: "I'M SO HUMBLE! LOOK AT ME AND LOVE ME FOR I AM SO, SOOOO HUMBLE!!!11!!!1!11!one!!!!!ONE!!1!".

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How humble, indeed. The shadow of the god-like Hero-kind Marth! HOW HUMBLE. HE SURE SETTLED FOR A REAL LOWLY ENDING.

But...

...don't worry. It's... it's fine. Calm down... wait... be patient... later...

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...

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fbDIBCu.png Ruben, are you... smiling? That's new...

LghVj9q.png Indeed... I'm just happy because... this is the last instance of Pretzel praise.

fbDIBCu.png ...

fbDIBCu.png Well, regardless. What will you do now, Ruben?

LghVj9q.png Well, it's been fun here, but I'm afraid I can't stay. I've things to take care back at home.

d0WIubs.png?1 Aw... it was fun watching you ramble!

xTth22d.png Indeed... regardless of all the troubles, it was still nice to know you.

KL7BAFE.png Indeed. My family will not believe this! The tale of a mediocre tactician who won through sheer will... don't take that personaly, by the way.

LghVj9q.png Bah, I am the first to admit I am bad at this.

sGCa7Ez.png ...ve... suppose you are all right, Ruven.

LghVj9q.png It's "Ruben", actually.

sGCa7Ez.png Ru... ben... good. You are good. Even though you are a perverted manchild.

LghVj9q.png Thanks. Thank you all. It's been nice to be here with you...

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More plot.

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Records. Just thought I'd show off the fact that only the desert took us longer than the entirety of Khadein. Add to that the rest of Gotoh's chapters, and you'll find his test took us longer than Hardin and Elrean. Well played, Gotoh. Well fuckin' played. Elrean and Hardin actively wanted to screw us over, but they weren't a match to you.

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Endings! Home stretch now. I didn't crop the credits because I'm pretty sure you guys are pretty interested in knowing who the producer for this game was. Tohru Narihiro. By no means was I just lazy.

Anyway.

Luke became a petty skirt-chaser. Fitting.

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Rody became Seth, more or less.

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The rest of the altean knights... weren't so fortunate.

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Just posting this because I love her ending. If nothing else, I love her ending. "Some worried that she had become a delinquent...". Pfahahah! Just imagine the potential of this. A third sequel for the Archanean universe, and Malicia is an enemy cleric in the second bandit chapter. Unrecruitable, of course.

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D'awww.

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320 battles. Enjoy your idyllic life, my man. You deserve it. More than anyone else.

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I wonder how many boners he killed over the course of his life. We witnessed one, so there's that. DLC for shadows of Valentia, anyone?

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Yumina and Yubello studied. That's pretty much it.

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Castor was, somehow, incredibly successful. No big surprise here, although it probably should be.

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I prefer Maris. And somebody else whose name I dare not say. Ahem.

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I'm not too sure why I screencapped Windell, but there. Windell's ending.

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This one, though, I know why I capped: because it's so depressing for no reason at all. Come, now! Lay off the poor guy! "So, he either lived happily, OR DIED AND LEFT HIS SISTER BROTHERLESS! AND HIS BFF BFFLESS! Pick your choice". It's not quite Abel levels of awful, but it's up there.

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This kind of ending almost always feels like a bit of a cop-out. Why? Why did Feena vanish? She's one of the most obnoxious girls in Archanea! Why would she just disappear?

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Lovelorn is right. At least he didn't live to see Marth put a contract on his posterior.

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Minerva the monk. Now that's something.

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I can't think of anything witty to say here. I honestly would've prefered if they let him settle down at Khadein.

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Elrean and Merric engaged in a "good teacher, bad teacher" sort of dynamic.

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I really like Maris even though I haven't used her in this particular run, so I'm gonna show her ending, as well as her dad's so we can feel worse about ourselves.

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The magnificently jacketed bros! Fun fact: Belf learns Camus' secret in their conversations, and Leiden learns it in his ending. This means Robert is the only one who never finds out the truth. And he never will, because he's dead.

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You know what I would absolutely love? If, for example, they set FESwitch in a continent completely unrelated to Archanea, and just put Athena in it. No fanfares, no references to her not being an original character from that game, nothing. Just let her show up.

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Est's sad ending. It would've been even worse if Abel lived, so, honestly, I think they were both better off this way. At least she didn't have to live knowing she ruined Abel's life, and he didn't have to live without knowing why the hell his wife just left him out of nowhere.

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Katarina just keeps on doing what she was already doing.

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Sheema handed Gra over to Marth like everyone else.

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Frost? Frost just went back to his family. He should've never left them. But I'm happy they did. And I'm happier I managed to keep him alive until their happy reunion.

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This ending makes no sense. Why wouldn't he be at Hardin's funeral? Sure, he realised Hardin was not the man he knew, but if he didn't know already, he certainly found out later that Hardin wasn't himself. He was there when we fought Gharnef! So, again, why wouldn't he be at Hardin's funeral, remembering the man he was before being corrupted by the Darksphere?

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I like Vyland's ending. It seems like, in time, he really got over Hardin, even more so than Roshea himself.

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Ymir...

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"Conquer another continent". Pfhah. Not with your luck, no.

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"Dragon King's Avatar"? What? Make up your mind, game! Was Naga a female or a male?!

I mean, according to every other game and source, she's apparently a female, but this game seems to suffer from a case of gender confusion when it comes to Naga.

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Lena and Maria did more or less the same. Although I like to think Maria kept on being the tomboy she is, playing with the kids on the mud and telling them all about his Dashingness' adventures. Certainly fits the "big sister" thingy mentioned in the ending.

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Elice married Merric, but he isn't named because he could have died in that one turn between Elice's recruitment and Medeus' fall. Was it so hard to write two endings depending on Merric's status? They did it for Est and Abel, and Est and Abel had way more time to die than Elice and Merric!

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Nyna doesn't get a happy ending, because why would she. Jesus Christ, poor woman.

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And Marth became Emperor Of The World, but because he is a weak, idealistic child, the world didn't end up as a victim of evil as a result.

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Look, my rankings!

I didn't crop this one because it would be a waste of an amazing opportunity to mock myself. "Your skill is very impressive! E SPEED! D SURVIVAL!". At least my tactics are good.

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And that... was that. I hope you all have enjoyed this as much as I have enjoyed making it, if not more!

Now, I'll rest. Don't stop following this thread just yet. I don't know when, but one of these days I'll get to the chronicles. Until then, please discuss the update and all, I'll be replying even if I don't update very soon. Which I won't, college and all. But one day! I assure you... I'll be back. Until then, I fare you all well.

...

...

...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wyvern's dale, the night after Medeus' fall...

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHtf3wOEw2A

 

 

 

 

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55vpmYsm3mc

 

 

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X5SGs1H.png Well? Not so high and mighty now, are you!?

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X5SGs1H.png Hah! You're as slow as you are predictable!

X5SGs1H.png And now...

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X5SGs1H.pngTime to end this!!

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X5SGs1H.pngHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAAAAAAH HAAAAAAH HAAAAAAAH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01qFkiibvS0

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Reset count: 11 (Pretzel: 7 - Marth: 4)

Death count: Linde
                       Samto
                       Navarre

                       Arran
                       Norne
                       Roger
                       Cain
                       Wrys*

                       Frey
                       Cecille
                       Abel
                       Etzel
                       Sedgar
                       Wolf
                       Robert
                       Dice
                       Matthis**
                       Yumina
**
                       Ymir
                       Pretzel

*Retreated.

**Honorably discharged.

 

 

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I have a feeling you're going to be stalked forever by a maxed-out Outrealm Kris for killing Pretzel. Also, that thing about Naga is that her title in Japanese is gender neutral, and it also falls under the She is the King trope.

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Well the Pretzel murder was unexpected, but unexpectedly hilarious. I like how the game seems to treat an E in speed and a D in survival as "sure that person should do maniac mode". Maybe the game wants its characters to die. Something tells me that you got a little annoyed at all the we/I/Marth did it. Congratulations at actually defeating the shadow dragon and I'm looking forward to what comes next.

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17 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Medeus: One-shot by the sappiest lord in the series (at least imo). Very few bosses can claim that "honour", and even fewer with the lower caps.

Actually, I'm pretty sure a reasonably powerful Roy wouldn't have even needed a crit to one-round Idunn. She's that bad. Medeus at least one-rounded some of my troops.

Sure, Roy can 1-round without crits. Hell, Roy can still do a lot of damage from base.

But your Marth just took Medeus out in one hit (not round, hit). Idoun is obviously in that ballpark, but everyone knows that. Not so for Medeus.

17 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Why do I keep saying this stuff? I'm going to college, I'm supposed to be smart, yet here I am, crapping out sex jokes one after the other.

These days, it's easier and easier to do. And besides, that kind of stuff is easier to say these days.

I'd also make a joke trying to insinuate you're saying something else, but I'm a bit too lazy for that.

17 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Never mind, it keeps on going. If I'm not mistaken, this is the longest FE epilogue.

Because someone decided that ~75 characters was a good enough roster. And Chris got supports with all on them.

17 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Astram and Midia are reunited. They would later go on to travel to Elibe on their honeymoon trip and settle down there, changing their names to Isadora and Harken. And then, tragedy would force them to part ways. Again.

....And either lead to them getting back together, or cause Isadora to move on. and either have her heart broken again or become a nun.

Frankly this is why I prefer putting them together in supports.

18 hours ago, Rubenio said:

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Oh no, this one's kinda sad. Trying to find the son he would never see, perhaps?

I honestly can't even laugh at that one, even with what happened at the end.

18 hours ago, Rubenio said:

FrwE3bh.jpg6Qqal8M.jpg

Would have preferred that kind of ending instead for the player unit that what we usually get since Awakening.

While many characters get the disappeared into the wind ending, it makes more sense for the avatar to do so. Especially because at least here we get some context as to how others acted! (and wouldn't he be counted as 1B 1W?)

As for what's coming later, I've seen Tearring played, it's not news to me (should probably play it eventually)

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Man, this update was 100% worth the wait.

 

23 hours ago, Rubenio said:

The Legend of the Knight Luke, he who was not a Knight and was scared of an old Bishop named Frost.

More like The Legend of the squire that was benched as soon as the prologue was over.

 

23 hours ago, Rubenio said:

vs6bs5M.png

I'm just as shocked as you, if not more, Matthis.

That's it. I'm using you in my FE11/ eventual FE12 playthrough.

 

23 hours ago, Rubenio said:

SNlNDKi.png

We should consider ourselves lucky that IS didn't turn Bantu into yet another dragon loli for the remake.

 

23 hours ago, Rubenio said:

JmBauRj.png

Taking a minute to notice Michalis' magnificent jacket.

 

23 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Hate to break it to you, but by the time it would be legal for Marth to love you back, his corpse will be long since decomposed.

And this, kids, is why Awakening saved the series.

 

23 hours ago, Rubenio said:

They really wanted people to forget about this guy.

Whenever you think Tomas is forgettable, remember Glade.

 

23 hours ago, Rubenio said:

d0WIubs.png?1 Aw... it was fun watching you ramble!

For what I believe is the first time, I agree with Luke.

 

23 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Death count: Linde
                       Samto
                       Navarre

                       Arran
                       Norne
                       Roger
                       Cain
                       Wrys*

                       Frey
                       Cecille
                       Abel
                       Etzel
                       Sedgar
                       Wolf
                       Robert
                       Dice
                       Matthis**
                       Yumina
**
                       Ymir
                       PRETZEL

i noticed a small mistake on the death count, and proceeded to fix it.

Edited by Franp3
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Really the MU doesn't deserve to die. Unless it's Pretzel. I mean, it's the one unit in FE that you create yourself. The only problem is that you can't control its boring personality. If you could make any character you wanted that would be more fitting for a role playing game, no? But nope. You always get the same character traits for every avatar you make. They're always so infatuated with and servile to Marth whatever you do. I guess that's why you hate Pretzel so. No matter what you do, he's still the dumbest, most uninteresting character in any Fire Emblem game. 

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LghVj9q.png Well, I finally moved. I can't, for the life of me, fit into the shower, but nobody cares about that. Let me check the replies...

On 16/9/2017 at 11:23 AM, deskita said:

Well the Pretzel murder was unexpected, but unexpectedly hilarious.

 

On 16/9/2017 at 11:30 PM, Franp3 said:

Man, this update was 100% worth the wait.

X5SGs1H.png Nice...!

On 17/9/2017 at 2:48 AM, Dinkiniensis Pontifex said:

Really the MU doesn't deserve to die.

ZyMLR0k.png Why, you!

On 17/9/2017 at 2:48 AM, Dinkiniensis Pontifex said:

Unless it's Pretzel.

LghVj9q.png Good, good. Let the hate flow through you...

Part whatever - Discussing the future.

So, the chronicles.

I'll find some time to play them.

That's it. Better now than later, in the middle of the exams.

Now, let me just talk because I'm feeling like talking.

On 16/9/2017 at 4:09 AM, Hylian Air Force said:

I have a feeling you're going to be stalked forever by a maxed-out Outrealm Kris for killing Pretzel.

Fuck that. TONITRUS! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEH! reference!

Also, that thing about Naga is that her title in Japanese is gender neutral, and it also falls under the She is the King trope.

Ohhhh I understand, now. Thanks.

 

On 16/9/2017 at 11:23 AM, deskita said:

I like how the game seems to treat an E in speed and a D in survival as "sure that person should do maniac mode".

I mean, with savestates it didn't go half bad!

Maybe the game wants its characters to die.

Well, it allowed me to begin. If it had any concern for their lives, my computer would've imploded the moment I decided to start this trainwreck.

Something tells me that you got a little annoyed at all the we/I/Marth did it.

You did it! You unveiled the mystery! The new mystery! You did it!

Congratulations at actually defeating the shadow dragon and I'm looking forward to what comes next.

Very well. I better get moving, then.

 

On 16/9/2017 at 9:07 PM, Dayni said:

Sure, Roy can 1-round without crits. Hell, Roy can still do a lot of damage from base.

But your Marth just took Medeus out in one hit (not round, hit). Idoun is obviously in that ballpark, but everyone knows that. Not so for Medeus.

Well, to be fair, my Marth fought a trillion arena fights before going into the final chapter. He wasn't my Marth anymore.

These days, it's easier and easier to do. And besides, that kind of stuff is easier to say these days.

I'd also make a joke trying to insinuate you're saying something else, but I'm a bit too lazy for that.

Good. I won't have to unleash the power of GIMP SUPERNOVAS on your soul!

Because someone decided that ~75 characters was a good enough roster. And Chris got supports with all on them.

I like the big roster, but... they should've gotten supports without Chris.

....And either lead to them getting back together, or cause Isadora to move on. and either have her heart broken again or become a nun.

Frankly this is why I prefer putting them together in supports.

Yeah, you go through hell and high water to pair her up with Renault, and then the guy disappears anyway.

Oh no, this one's kinda sad. Trying to find the son he would never see, perhaps?

I honestly can't even laugh at that one, even with what happened at the end.

Yeah... as I said, I would've very much prefered if they gave the guy a break and let him settle down and live on at Khadein. He seemed rather content, there.

Would have preferred that kind of ending instead for the player unit that what we usually get since Awakening.

While many characters get the disappeared into the wind ending, it makes more sense for the avatar to do so. Especially because at least here we get some context as to how others acted! (and wouldn't he be counted as 1B 1W?)

Ahhhh shiet, I tried to make the whole battle and endings as faithful as possible (with the horrendously out-of-place font), but I missed that one. Yeah, my mistake.

As for what's coming later, I've seen Tearring played, it's not news to me (should probably play it eventually)

I don't think Tear ring will come next, but that does not mean I'm not having a blast playing by myself. I love the soundtrack. The boss theme is my new favourite FE boss theme, bite me.

 

On 16/9/2017 at 11:30 PM, Franp3 said:

Man, this update was 100% worth the wait.

Why, thank you.

More like The Legend of the squire that was benched as soon as the prologue was over.

Benched for Matthis. How very dishonorable. Just like my LP!

I'm just as shocked as you, if not more, Matthis.

That's it. I'm using you in my FE11/ eventual FE12 playthrough.

You're in for one heck of a disappointment. My Matthis was blessed as fuck, and I hear he's even worse in FE11.

Still, we must remain loyal to our God of Inmortality.

We should consider ourselves lucky that IS didn't turn Bantu into yet another dragon loli for the remake.

Naaaaaaah they just made him MIA, implying he passed away because of his already very old age for a dragon in the Archanea duology.

Taking a minute to notice Michalis' magnificent jacket.

Yeah, this game has a lot of magnificent jackets. Although my favourites are still the Sabre Jackets.

Then there's Frost. Sorry. I can't get over how amazing his design is. Why do people say he's boring, again?

And this, kids, is why Awakening saved the series.

Uh... I'd... rather not react to that.

Whenever you think Tomas is forgettable, remember Glade.

Glade? I had to google him up. I knew he was from Genealogy, but--

Thracia?! What?!

Yeah, that was my literal reaction when I first read this. Poor, poor Glade. Then, reading through his wiki article, I noticed he apparently came in dead last in the "choose your heroes" poll.

...why? There are worse characters than Glade. Like Rutger, the overrat--

Nah. I've enough hatred for that asshole to do it, but I'll hold it back.

For what I believe is the first time, I agree with Luke.

Congratulations, Luke! YOU DID IT!

 

On 16/9/2017 at 11:30 PM, Franp3 said:

         PRETZEL

i noticed a small mistake on the death count, and proceeded to fix it.

Bwahahah. That was epic. Hah! That's it, I'm using that for the Chronicles.

Hurray, what an interesting update. I'll get going as soon as possible. Farewell!

Reset count: 11 (Pretzel: 7 - Marth: 4)

Death count: Linde
                       Samto
                       Navarre

                       Arran
                       Norne
                       Roger
                       Cain
                       Wrys*

                       Frey
                       Cecille
                       Abel
                       Etzel
                       Sedgar
                       Wolf
                       Robert
                       Dice
                       Matthis**
                       Yumina
**
                       Ymir
                        PRETZEL

*Retreated.

**Honorably discharged.

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3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

You're in for one heck of a disappointment. My Matthis was blessed as fuck, and I hear he's even worse in FE11.

Yeah, I got just far enough in 11 to recruit him, and I was shocked at how terrible he was. He couldn't even hit Lena with his javelin! Not that I didn't give him enough chances, being the terrible player I am.

 

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Like Rutger, the overrat--

Nah. I've enough hatred for that asshole to do it, but I'll hold it back.

Don't worry, I'll say it for you. Rutger is an overrated, boring, excessively edgy, and bland character.

 

And something that I forgot to do in my previous reply:

On 15/9/2017 at 9:52 PM, Rubenio said:

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X5SGs1H.pngHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAAAAAAH HAAAAAAH HAAAAAAAH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hmmm, this definitely seems familiar, but I can't quite remember wha-

On 27/7/2015 at 1:30 PM, TheMoniker said:

XUuKrHe.pngkQdVRkU.png

Oh.

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18 hours ago, Franp3 said:
On 27/7/2015 at 6:30 PM, TheMoniker said:

XUuKrHe.pngkQdVRkU.png

Oh.

 

OH COME NOW! MY LP IS A PLAGIARISM TOO, ALL OF SUDDEN?!

Sigh... I give up. I've lost cout of how many negative adjetives can be applied to this piece of crap. Time to delete it.

...

...

...

Nah... I'm too lazy to reach for the delete button. Or, to even check if it exists at all.

Oh well, in my defense, I'll say that I'd actually read Moniker's GhebFE let's play... but for no specific reason, I dropped it, so I never got to that part. It was never my intention to copy his work (I really like Moniker's LPs, for what it's worth), but the idea wasn't that original in the sense that it was easy to come up with in this situation.

Sorry for the unintentionally stealing somebody's idea. Especially when that someone is one of my favourite LPers. Even though I didn't join SF until after he quit.

Anyway. His version doesn't have THE POWAH OF THE GIMP SUPERNOVA EFFECT! MY VERSION IS SUPERiOR!!

Just a little heads up, I've recorded the first of the chronicles. This thursday, at the latest, I shall upload it.

Edited by Rubenio
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2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Sorry for the unintentionally stealing somebody's idea.

Should've clarified the mockup wasn't made by him, but it was part of a ragefest hack he helped playtest.

Now please go back and finish his GhebFE LP, if only because the ending is incredible.

 

On 18/9/2017 at 3:43 PM, Rubenio said:

Glade? I had to google him up. I knew he was from Genealogy, but--

Thracia?! What?!

Aha! You fell right into my trap! In America!

See? That's how you properly make a meme.

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Part 42 - Back to the basics.

Remember when I said I'd push this update before "thursday"? Yeah, I meant this thursday. Not last thursday. Shame on you if you thought I meant... last thursday.

Three days in advance. See, I'm the best LPer ever. Was there ever any doubt?

Now if you're a decent human being, out of pity, you'll say I am! Hahah! You've fallen right into my trap! IN AMERICA! THIS ISN'T GETTING OLD! WELL, MAYBE IN AMERICA!

Cough. Forgive any typos. I don't have the time or the will to proofread, so it'll be even worse than usual.

Bring on the replies!

On 19/9/2017 at 11:07 PM, deskita said:

This is a wild guess, are you replacing Pretzel with a new MU called Ruben? I'm guessing I'm wrong but I'm throwing out the first thing that I thought.

A decent guess, but as you can see...

 

On 20/9/2017 at 3:08 AM, KnightOfNohr said:

It's more likely that this is his way of explaining why he is controlling the characters in the Archenea Chronicles chapters.

Yeah.

 

On 20/9/2017 at 7:50 PM, Hylian Air Force said:

Rubenio in :Fire Emblem - Awakening

Still better than Corrin.

Spoiler

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The problem with such an introduction is that, since I'm going to be showing everything, the plotholes take over its very foundations.

But who cares, my LP sucks in every way imaginable and that's why we love it.

Anyway, there's my high score for the chapter. Place your bets, will I beat it?

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This Chronicle happens right after Archanea fell in Shadow Dragon, and shows why four knights and a man of the cloth ended up in a tiny cell.

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We begin with Boah being as to-the-point as always.

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And Nyna is as (understandably) clingy as always.

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I love Boah's blinking sprite. He looks so very tired.

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Still better than Sheeda. Just saying.

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Come now, Nyna. He's got a point and you know it.

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Really, now?

I DARE you to try.

..

..

..

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Well...

ZyMLR0k.png I tried. May I go now, before I am kicked out of college?

sNKm8cO.png Try again.

X5SGs1H.png URK!!

Okay, I'll just... open this door here and...

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There we go, the past has been corrected.

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Look, Dolph has dialogue! Who could've foreseen this?

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Boah is tired of Nyna's crap.

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Look, Macellan too!

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Aaaaaand they're off.

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I guess they promised they would return later or something, because it doesn't look like they're holding her.

Then again, she's faster than either of the baldies. Maybe she just ran ahead and Boah let her be, seeing how she was accidentally going where he wanted her to go.

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Well, would you look at that, the plan didn't work. Who could've... unh.

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Here's General Gouber. Chronicle bosses are very unfortunately named, for the most part. The DLC chapters have no bosses because FE12.

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Nyna, this isn't the time for orientation, this is the time to run aimlessly.

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Nah, you behaved as well as anybody would've. Really, Boah just seems like a smart guy who was constantly thrown into hopeless situations.

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Stuff it and run!

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I don't know, man. Gouber looks like the kind of guy who'd just throw his lance through your face before you could begin to spell out the word "surrender".

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Yeah, that he is. I mean, this is Fire Emblem, you're bound to win, but in a realistic scenario...

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Yeah, exactly!

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Boah sighs in relief as Midia steps aside.

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Sadly, Nyna has seen this as her second chance at sending his four knights and counsellor to fight against an army. Poor Boah's really tired of this all.

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Jeez, you're stubborn.

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"Go ahead, get us all killed. I need to lay down..."

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But what will you do when Gouber stabs you in the face?

sNKm8cO.png I don't think that will be happening.

Riiiiiiight I have a job to do and a head to keep.

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Ironically, Boah can do more damage than any of these (save for Midia with the silver lance) once you get him a tome.

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Hell yeah! Let's r--

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Never mind, she just feels the need to spell out the best strategy for us.

sH8DLij.pngZZC0eKA.pngmkqzFbT.png52FnoWc.pngFiyfyJM.png9UoqfKZ.png

Here, these are our stats as we move towards the Small Treasure Room Nearby (or, in Midia's case, south towards the chest key knight). Tomas! I had forgotten he was here, he never got a chance to talk.

Midia is not as durable as she may look like at first glance. The Knights will do short work of her if you allow them to.

Tomas is... okay. You can use him to bait out Mages from inside the treasure room. Sadly, since this is just a remake of the original chronicles, none of the chests contain the armorslayer bow they added for this game. It would've made him a tad more useful.

Dolph's the best physical tank you get in this chapter. He has less HP than Midia, but everyone deals 1 damage or less to him, so it doesn't really matter in the long run. He should be very wary of Mages, though.

Macellan is, as usual, Dolph but worse. He gets doubled by Gouber unless he gets a point of speed by leveling up! How pathetic is that?

Once you get him a tome, Boah becomes quite good. If he got only one point of speed, he'd double Gouber for massive damage. Let's hope he does, we'd be able to two-round him with Midia's help if he did.

Nyna's really only useful for healing. She's worse than Boah in almost every way. But it's fine. Much like in the main game, she's only a walking event flag.

Okay, let's get started for real.

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This is the first turn. The game gives you just barely enough time to throw everybody into the treasure chamber (and by "barely" I mean "one turn").

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Also, growth Archers are just as bad when they're in the enemy side.

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Down south, Midia takes some grievous wounds, but comes out victorious all the same. But now she has even less time than the others to rush into the treasure chamber.

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Also, mistakes. You missed 'em so much, didn't you?

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Heal the future of Archanea, Boah. Before I have her killed.

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Mages. These guys are the worst. They'll make short work of Macellan, Dolph and Tomas, and Midia will easily die to everything else if you send her to kill them.

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And I can't move everyone away from the danger just yet. Bah. Eh, I think we'll live.

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Shenanigans.

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The enemy mostly goes after Midia, which is rather stupid seeing how she has the silver lance equipped.

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Also, this wasn't a mistake. It was an affordable loss of one of Nyna's limbs.

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...yeah, just one.

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To be honest, I can't even remember what's going on. I played this ages ago. Stupid college, I've had too much fun going out like a normal person.

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Keep going, guys. You can do it, or so says canon.

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Tomas takes the raiding tools, as he won't be very useful out there. That's okay. He did enough in the main campaign.

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Oh. Meeeh. She'll live.

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Yeah, she definitely will. Mages barely scratch her.

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Besides, the enemy team is made of dumbasses led by a man named Gouber.

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Yahoo! One less Mage in the world!

sNKm8cO.png ...

What?

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We can do it, guys. The plot demands we prevail!

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Tomas being useful, look! Who would've thought. Best Archer, seriously. Use him, for he is the best unit in all of his games. Don't let any tier lists tell you otherwise.

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Here you go, healing. You deserved it.

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The Clean bros. engage in a trading operation to get old!Moulder his magic.

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Oh, recruitment!

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Never mind, it's just a support increase.

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No, hold on, it doesn't work like that here. I've played too much Tear Ring Saga.

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Sigh what is with this game and princesses?

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Actually, you did in my first run of this. Several, in fact...

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Okay okay, you needn't say anything.

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Stop it, Nyna. Please.

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Not you. It's the powah of teamwork and friendshit that'll get you outta here.

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Okay, that done, it's time to-- Oh look more talking! It always makes me happy to see talking and know I won't have to crop it. Because I already did. A long, long time ago.

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I have a wondrous idea! How about you guys all sit in a circle, stand up at the same turn and say "ARE YOU WELL GUYS? I'M FINE THANKS!".

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Midia's too cocky, I'm sure her overconfidence will be her downfall oh wait.

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Oh. It was just a tutorial.

Way to waste one of Boah's conversations. He had no lines last game! And his only scene in this one consisted entirely of him explaining how he caused the war! Let him say something meaningful!

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Okay, finally, Boah can kill.

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He can now fight, but that staff he carries can heal our wounded. He took everyone else with him, and he's very glad he did.

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Where was I? Oh, right, Nyna lucks out again. She really wants to keep her right arm.

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More fighting. I must say, after playing Tear Ring Saga, this just kinda... falls short. This and the rest of FE, mind you. Such a beautiful game, that one is. I still stand by what I said about this game's artstyle.

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Nyna, make yourself useful.

It would be fun if this chapter had a gimmicky like, if you let Nyna spend a turn without doing anything, she runs off to the enemy and turns herself in to "save them".

Nah actually that wouldn't be fun, I just had no idea what to say.

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But that's fine because you'll be happy I've updated, at last.

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Midia can't keep on murdering everything. She'll die if she does. It's a good thing they gave her a steel sword.

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But first, everyone ignores her.

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She gets mad at the lack of attention and retreats to cry while leaning against the wall. Except she forgot about Tomas and, well, he wasn't about to warn her, considering things.

WOHOOOOO SEX JOKES, AREN'T YOU SO EFFIN' HAPPY I'M BACK OR WHAT?!?!?!?

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Stupid, useless Archers. You don't have Tomas' hairdo! BEGONE!!

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Bad. You don't need any of this crap. Chronicle levels need to be very specific to be good, and you skipped the one stat you need.

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More talking! This is the last one.

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I love that face. Toooldforthis.jpg

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Boah does not believe Nyna is up to the task.

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This whole exchange is just so hilariously wrong. First off, you've been taking care of everyone's wounds in his place for the entire chapter. Second, you won't fight, he's better than you at that. Third, once again, you've been healing all chapter, you've been doing something. Fourth, you've been in danger as well several times. Fifth, you're right there, you should know how the battle is going. Sixth, where, exactly, do you want Boah to rest? On the cold, hard floor?

That's it, I think. Nyna doesn't say anything else, therefore nothing else is wrong. Boah? Boah's line is fine, we are at quite the disadvantage.

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Here, have some healing. You've earned it after enduring through that dialogue.

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Jesus, this is getting boring. To watch, I mean, it's an entertaining chapter if you're playing it.

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But as you can see, there are barely any enemies left. We will soon be leaving this place, and--

Oh wait the plot. Something will happen. Maybe Gouber will pull out a secret weapon?

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Yawn.

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The enemy Archers apparently think Boah is just a defenseless old Bishop. Fools! They do not know what they've done to themselves!

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Come, now. Home stretch!

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We cannot fall now!

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Tomas is basically useless against Gouber no matter what. Oh, well. He's done his best.

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Healthcare.

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We're ready to head out, I think.

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C'mooooon c'mon c'mon c'mon speed!

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D'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH now he won't double Gouber.

I mean, he only has a 20% growth in speed, but...

ClcZwuz.pngIbpLWwC.pngc9u9K3f.pngISUF6Lv.png

Down you all go! Pick your killer, Knight.

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Sorry. Okay, now, pick your killer please.

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...Midia?

Oh, okay, he wanted to die quickly. Smart man. I'm almost sad I killed him off.

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There's Gouber. Where are his stats, I wonder? I wanted to show them off.

Oh, right, I remember now. It was this one. I must've cropped it by mistake.

Anyway, he's really strong, and has a speed of 7. That's really all you need to know. It doesn't make any sense to attack him with anything other than magic, the armorslayer, or to a lesser extent, the silver lance.

DT1BeVT.pngWv4FgfY.pngcs76M0E.png

There they are.

Hold on, I think I'm forgetting something.

Oh. The armorslayer.

Very well, plan B time.

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Very self-explanatory, wouldn't you say?

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I'm going to win. We can outrun Gouber until Midia gets the armorslayer.

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There we go, time to win.

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Just in time, too. They're starting to catch up to us.

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Come now, Dolph! This again? You don't need this at all!

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Do your worst, err... Jesus Christ lookalike called... Gouber... uh...

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Awesome, this is the reason this game isn't perfect. No minor bosses like this.

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Sadly, we must kill you now. Gouber's death brings an end to the chapter, too, so let's do it as soon as possible.

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Meh. It's not as if we need any more green numbers.

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These guys have to go.

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Macellan makes himself useful and retreats.

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And only then I realised I'd screwed up big. Dangit all, I was too hasty.

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....STUPID COLLEGE!

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Okay, there we go.

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Well... I failed.

sNKm8cO.png Again.

...can't we just say it's a lost cause and--

sNKm8cO.png Again.

...fine.

sNKm8cO.png ...I'm starting to think this may not have been such a bright idea.

7mkqCMm.pngcvs0O92.png2Hjba12.pngtRDTjlJ.png

I had things to say about this back when I recorded the update, I'm sure.

CAnn3DB.png5r54IFB.pngtdrGQ8c.pngaC0VyNJ.png

Look, Macellan no longer gets doubled by Gouber! Let's see if that ever is relevant.

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Wow. Death really didn't help you, did it, Tomth? You got shown up by Macellan of all people!

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Magic. Eh. That's... completely useless. Speed!

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Not you, you can't use speed in any way! You already double everyone!

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General healing, chest raiding... okay, we're back here.

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Come! This time, I shall win for sure.

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These two are down. Yes, this time, we'll definitely...

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D'aw. I can't kill him with Tomas. Such a shame... truly an insufferable tragedy.

sNKm8cO.png This is insufferable, all right...

Hush, I'm trying to concentrate.

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Ahah! You're done for.

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And at last, we've won! Now wait two weeks for the next Chronicle.

Nah. Let's not. The next Chronicle is very special. In more ways than one.

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Oh, screw it.

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There, death edit. I'm tired.

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You know, I'm glad you got nothing. You could've gotten speed now and I would've been really mad as a result.

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Oh, my. Back to the treasure chamber it is.

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Back to the treasure chamber it is! Did you not hear me?

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Positive as always, eh, Nyna? You know what? Yeah, it is. Let's surrender and line up to make it easier for them to kill us.

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Oh, crap, Camus! Now we truly cannot "ope" to win, this guy has the Gradivus.

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Camus catches up to the current events.

Hey, Etzel, I'm here as well. What am I going to do? Just asking. I can't remember very well, but I don't think that cell has space for six people.

sNKm8cO.png I'll get you out of there.

Good, thank you.

sNKm8cO.png ...maybe...

Sorry?

sNKm8cO.png Nothing. Keep going.

...

KP9Qunh.png

"Get out, I've come for the booty and I don't want you miscreants ruining it".

Xv50yRo.pngL51wCbJ.png

Well, it'd net us experience, which would later be beneficial in FE11 when we rescue these guys.

GAf3DgC.pngEhSwBSn.png

Good! Let's deceive him, instead!

4ic3CEu.pngQ56it3V.png

Sable? I mean, sure, that's spanish for "sabre", but...

Oh, it's also the name of mourning clothing. I see. He's either a widower or a tailor then! Good to know.

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Amazing. They pulled some sad backstory out of nowhere for Midia.

lkRFAwI.png2DjELEJ.pngEkNlS4e.png

Boah, as usual, speaks with his head.

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But Nyna won't have any of it. She's a strong, independent princess who shall not be protected by a heathen such as Camus.

Although, considering how the last strong, independent woman of this LP ended up like...

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All right everyone, let's be polite and patient, and--

A5igx0D.png

...

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Mind you, he is unarmed. Midia charged at Camus with her silver lance and he just bitch-slapped her down.

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Oh, and I don't think that's going to be the most painful burn she's going to get today.

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Jesus Christ, Midia. You're going to need twenty buckets of water to do so much as stop the fire.

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Oh, she's going to try and retaliate? How very rare. Well, I don't think there's much you can do to help yourself after that, but eh, you might as well try.

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Oh.

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Ohohoh... that was good, I'll admit. Your turn, Camus.

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...pfffffffffffffffffffft he just fled. GG Midia.

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What are you doing? Get ready to receive Camus!

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...again!? Poor Boah, seriously.

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Bwahahahah. I like to imagine Camus looking behind Nyna for a second and Boah's there quietly nodding.

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Bad, Nyna. That's not a good retort.

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...

Screw it, enjoy the rest of the update uncropped. It's either that or wait even longer.

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Camus just keeps on handing out the ice burns. Frost would be proud.

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Jeez!

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Oh, look, it was just a few screencaps. Good.

Anyway, he's insulted her, her knights, her people, her country, her father... what else is there for him to trash talk about?

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Well, at least he was a good dad. It's not like, say, Codha from--

Sorry, sorry, I won't talk anymore about Tear Ring Saga.

Nah, just one more thing: go and download the arranged soundtrack from serenesforest. It's amazing. My favourites are "army of darkness", "night before battle" and "the northern continent".

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Hm. Surprisingly enough, Nyna has a point there.

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Decent plan. What say you, Nyna?

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...

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Camus is starting to understand why Boah's chuckling gleefully in the background. He then proceeded to send him with the other knights to the tiny cell in Archanea palace.

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You're a good guy, Camus, I look forward to recruiting you oh wait.

Double oh wait, in fact.

No, triple oh wait, I almost forgot, that masked knight wasn't Camus, it was Camus ahem Sirius.

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Stop being so inconvenient, Nyna. You're giving Gotoh a run for his money.

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It will, in time. Not that much time, in fact.

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Nah, I don't think she would be able to hit you.

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Well... it's an improvement over her previous attitude. I can get behind this, at least. Only euipped with Matthis' armor, but eh, details.

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Get ready, guys. The dumbest line in the whole chapter is inbound!

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Bwahahahahahahahah.

"...hey, soldier."

"What is it, Bishop?"

"Can you please kill me? Look, I'm armed, I've got this thunder tome. You can say I tried to get away."

"...how about you electrocute me while I stab you? That way, neither of us will have to survive to see this through."

"It's a deal."

Sadly, they both missed.

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Impolitely? He could've grabbed your tits right there and that would've been more subtle.

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This just keeps getting better and better. "I can only manage this rustic manner of speaking", really? He sounds like he's talking to the president!

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By flirting with the strongest, most famous warrior in the continent, who's also hot as fuck (no homo, it's just a fact)? Are you kidding me?!

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The everyone is there as insurance in case you lost "everyone".

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Three hurrahs for Boah, who's bleeding out of his ears! He's done well to endure this much.

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Yeah, what she said. But, really, what he thought.

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It wasn't that great.

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No, I don't... I don't think so.

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"Go play FE11 now".

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Aaaaand hohoho! Would you look at that! What is the best score, again?

Well, I don't know where to find it, so... let's just say I got a really good score. Hurray, I won for once!

sNKm8cO.png Six more to go.

Hey, hold on, don't I get some--

sNKm8cO.png No. Go!

UARGH! SEE YOU NEXT TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

Reset count: 12 (Pretzel: 7 - Marth: 4 - Chronicles: 1)

Death count: Linde
                       Samto
                       Navarre

                       Arran
                       Norne
                       Roger
                       Cain
                       Wrys*

                       Frey
                       Cecille
                       Abel
                       Etzel
                       Sedgar
                       Wolf
                       Robert
                       Dice
                       Matthis**
                       Yumina
**
                       Ymir
                        PRETZEL

*Retreated.

**Honorably discharged.

 

Edited by Rubenio
I forgot to add the reset to the counter.
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