Sully's Advice Column!

[SullyMcGully]

2 hours ago, MadJak91 said:

Dear Sully,

my friend has a waifu pillow. Should I be worried?

Regards
Jak

Cool! Does he know where I can get one of those? Thanks!

Um, sorry. Excuse me. Ahem... waifu pillows are unhealthy. Real men don't have waifu pillows. Friends don't let friends buy waifu pillows!

[Jingle Jangle]

Dear Sully,

I am interesting in getting a couple figurines from my favorite tv shows/ games. But the price intimidates me. Do you know where I can purchase them for a affordable price? 

[SullyMcGully]

38 minutes ago, Jingle Jangle said:

Dear Sully,

I am interesting in getting a couple figurines from my favorite tv shows/ games. But the price intimidates me. Do you know where I can purchase them for a affordable price? 

You'd be surprised at what you can find in thrift stores, flea markets, etc. If you're looking for a particular figurine, you might not be so lucky, but anytime I go to a thrift store I'm always amazed at all of the things I see that are in good condition for a stupidly low price. 

Anything that fits in a mailbox and can be mass produced is usually pretty cheap on Amazon, though. Especially if you're willing to buy used.

[Ronnie]

On 8/16/2017 at 11:57 AM, SullyMcGully said:

I was homeschooled, so I didn't have lunchbreak... or recess... or friends... but that doesn't matter! 

Dear Sully, I'll be your friend

[SullyMcGully]

2 minutes ago, Ronnie said:

Dear Sully, I'll be your friend

Hey! I'm supposed to do the helping here... friend.

[Julius Nepos]

Dear Sully, 

I want to nerd out about Ar-Pharazôn, but no one I know knows who Ar-Pharazôn is. What should I do?

[SullyMcGully]

1 hour ago, Hattusili I said:

Dear Sully, 

I want to nerd out about Ar-Pharazôn, but no one I know knows who Ar-Pharazôn is. What should I do?

I know who Ar-Pharazon is! He's the last king of Numenor, right? You can nerd out about him with me! The Silmarillion is my favorite Tolkien book! 

But, uh, Pharazon only gets about 2 paragraphs of development. Is there really that much nerding to be done?

[Julius Nepos]

On 18-8-2017 at 0:13 AM, SullyMcGully said:

I know who Ar-Pharazon is! He's the last king of Numenor, right? You can nerd out about him with me! The Silmarillion is my favorite Tolkien book! 

But, uh, Pharazon only gets about 2 paragraphs of development. Is there really that much nerding to be done?

Dear Sully, 

You are the person that was missing in my life. 

Yeah, Ar-Pharazôn doesn't get much screentime, but he's so very interesting. He obviously considered himself very good - and for a while, he was a mixture of good (opposing Sauron, fighting obvious evil) and evil (rebellious thoughts against the Valar and Eldar); but later, he became totally evil. How did that happen? How did he view that? How did the people view that? How did he view his people? How did Sauron persuade them? 

A very intriguing man Ar-Pharazôn was.

[SullyMcGully]

2 minutes ago, Hattusili I said:

Dear Sully, 

You are the person that was missing in my life. 

Yeah, Ar-Pharazôn doesn't get much screentime, but he's so very interesting. He obviously considered himself very good - and for a while, he was a mixture of good (opposing Sauron, fighting obvious evil) and evil (rebellious thoughts against the Valar and Eldar); but later, he became totally evil. How did that happen? How did he view that? How did the people view that? How did he view his people? How did Sauron persuade them? 

A very intriguing man Ar-Pharazôn was.

I would argue that he was never good. While fighting Sauron was a good thing to do, Ar-Pharazon probably did it for selfish reasons. If he was really good, he would of tried to kill Sauron instead of capturing him. I mean, by the time he went to war with Mordor he had already usurped the throne and married his cousin. He doesn't seem like a good guy to me. However, maybe the blame lies with his parents and the way he was raised. Numenor had already been in decline for centuries by the time he was born.

[Kinumi]

On 8/17/2017 at 4:04 PM, Hattusili I said:

Dear Sully, 

I want to nerd out about Ar-Pharazôn, but no one I know knows who Ar-Pharazôn is. What should I do?

dear hatt,

idk who that is but i love hearing u nerd out about anything and everything because you're hatt and i appreciate ur presence. it looks like u have kinda resolved this but just so u know

 

 

 

dear sully, i also want to nerd out about a thing but i have annoyed the few people who actually know about it, far too much. however, i am still not done nerding out about it. what should i do

 

Spoiler

also how do i come to terms with my appearance?? i swear i can find a flaw with each one of my facial features but every time i try to vent about it my friends say (unsurprisingly, i guess) "no i think u look pretty!!" except the problem is my disgust at my own face. how do i stop

 

Edited August 19, 2017 by lᴜnar
stan luna

[badatfireemblem]

Dear Sully, 

My family keep putting up embarrassing teenage photos of me on the internet. What should I do about this?

[Clarine]

Dear Sully,

If I may, I do wish to register my interest in such advice as I am ever so curious if anyone would be able to bestow me genuine advice that may curiously prove to be effective.
To commence, I do wish to discuss my brother as I am concerned he just may be converting into a so-called "weeaboo". During this year, he has grown increasingly interested in "anime" video games and during the past few weeks, he frequently sends me videos of Japanese "A.I." sketches and Japanese Pop Idol game show clips. In fact, he was rather desperate to summon the Summer Bikini Corrin in Fire Emblem Heroes and requested me to plan a flight to Japan with him so he can alleviate his desire to excessively use Gashapon machines. It is dreadfully apparent he likely wishes to travel to Japan for other reasons so I must ask, what course of action might I be able to take? Falling into this type of "geek culture" is most unbecoming of him.

Your sincerely,
Clarine

P.S. If I may add, he now also wishes to learn Japanese for the sole reason of Japanese media.

Edited August 19, 2017 by Clarine

[Flee Fleet!]

3 hours ago, Clarine said:

I do wish to discuss my brother as I am concerned he just may be converting into a so-called "weeaboo"

wait isn't your brother Klein?

 

[SullyMcGully]

Wow, lots of questions! Let's see what I can come up with for you guys...

12 hours ago, lᴜnar said:

dear sully, i also want to nerd out about a thing but i have annoyed the few people who actually know about it, far too much. however, i am still not done nerding out about it. what should i do

 

  Reveal hidden contents

also how do i come to terms with my appearance?? i swear i can find a flaw with each one of my facial features but every time i try to vent about it my friends say (unsurprisingly, i guess) "no i think u look pretty!!" except the problem is my disgust at my own face. how do i stop

 

Do you know these people in real life, or through the internet? If you know them in real life, you should probably apologize and promise to do better. If you know them online, just try to do better. If you are unwilling to change the behavior that made you seem annoying, then maybe you should just deal with not being able to nerd about that thing.

Spoiler

Self image can be tricky. You are right in understanding that it is your opinion of yourself and not your actual body that needs to change. I advise that you start by figuring out what standard you are holding yourself up to. Is there a friend or celebrity that has your "dream appearance"? Try to come to terms with your expectations. There's nothing wrong with your face being the way it was genetically coded to be from the time you were born. Remember, most people would rather spend time with a plain-looking person with a good attitude than with a self-obsessed attractive person. When you get too concerned with your appearance you run the risk of being both self-obsessed and unattractive. I'm not saying that you are too concerned already, I'm just warning you to make sure that doesn't happen. Also, if you have a real issue to talk about, don't feel like you have to put it in spoiler tags. Hope this helps! 

 

3 hours ago, Natalie said:

Dear Sully, 

My family keep putting up embarrassing teenage photos of me on the internet. What should I do about this?

Ooh can I see? 

Ask them to stop. Let them know that you are serious about it and they will probably comply. They aren't trying to make you hate them, they're probably just messing with you. Let them know how you feel.

3 hours ago, Clarine said:

Dear Sully,

If I may, I do wish to register my interest in such advice as I am ever so curious if anyone would be able to bestow me genuine advice that may curiously prove to be effective.
To commence, I do wish to discuss my brother as I am concerned he just may be converting into a so-called "weeaboo". During this year, he has grown increasingly interested in "anime" video games and during the past few weeks, he frequently sends me videos of Japanese "A.I." sketches and Japanese Pop Idol game show clips. In fact, he was rather desperate to summon the Summer Bikini Corrin in Fire Emblem Heroes and requested me to plan a flight to Japan with him so he can alleviate his desire to excessively use Gashapon machines. It is dreadfully apparent he likely wishes to travel to Japan for other reasons so I must ask, what course of action might I be able to take? Falling into this type of "geek culture" is most unbecoming of him.

Your sincerely,
Clarine

P.S. If I may add, he now also wishes to learn Japanese for the sole reason of Japanese media.

I think you need to let young master Klein know that you love him no matter what he chooses to do in life. There's nothing evil about being a weeaboo, even if it does make him a little annoying. What matters more than him having acceptable hobbies is that he knows that you love him. See if there is somewhere where his new interests overlap with yours, and try to bond over that. If this is becoming really annoying to you, then maybe you should sit down and have a talk with him. Let him know what it is that is bothering you, and entreat him to consider your feelings.

[Clarine]

53 minutes ago, Flee Fleet! said:

wait isn't your brother Klein?

 

One could always wish. Instead, I am forced to tolerate a male Sakura but with their cutesy factors replaced with even more timidness. Needless to say, I could never imagine him ever wielding a bow as his accuracy is simply shameful.

11 minutes ago, SullyMcGully said:

I think you need to let young master Klein know that you love him no matter what he chooses to do in life. There's nothing evil about being a weeaboo, even if it does make him a little annoying. What matters more than him having acceptable hobbies is that he knows that you love him. See if there is somewhere where his new interests overlap with yours, and try to bond over that. If this is becoming really annoying to you, then maybe you should sit down and have a talk with him. Let him know what it is that is bothering you, and entreat him to consider your feelings.

My gratitude but I fear I do have an overly condescending and assertive personality that may simply make him reluctant to converse with me over a cup of tea. And of course, he abhors the scent of my black tea, much to my chagrin. I truly doubt our interests shall align but I shall remain grateful for your effort.

[Julius Nepos]

20 hours ago, SullyMcGully said:

I would argue that he was never good. While fighting Sauron was a good thing to do, Ar-Pharazon probably did it for selfish reasons. If he was really good, he would of tried to kill Sauron instead of capturing him. I mean, by the time he went to war with Mordor he had already usurped the throne and married his cousin. He doesn't seem like a good guy to me. However, maybe the blame lies with his parents and the way he was raised. Numenor had already been in decline for centuries by the time he was born.

I haven't read the Akallabêth in ages, so I was going off what I remembered and The Drowning of Anadûnê which I read recently. In The Drowning of Anadûnê there is nothing to suggest that Ar-Pharazôn is not the legal King of Númenor or that he married his cousin, so I'll admit my view of him was a bit too good.

Still, Ar-Pharazôn was not all evil. He was very selfish in some ways (usurping the throne, claiming the kingship over all Men), but he was also very generous to the Númenóreans (aside from the Faithful, of course). He fought Sauron partially because he was angered that Sauron challenged his rule over Middle-earth, but also because he believed Sauron was evil and he wished to fight that evil. It was only after Sauron had corrupted the hearts of the Númenóreans that he truly lost the good that was in him. 

Prior to Sauron's take-over, he was a very two-sided personality, being good in some ways and evil in others; afterwards, he was as the mightiest man on earth unknowingly a puppet of Sauron. The change is what interests me most about him, and just how Sauron corrupted his mind and his heart.

16 hours ago, lᴜnar said:

dear hatt,

idk who that is but i love hearing u nerd out about anything and everything because you're hatt and i appreciate ur presence. it looks like u have kinda resolved this but just so u know

 

 

 

dear sully, i also want to nerd out about a thing but i have annoyed the few people who actually know about it, far too much. however, i am still not done nerding out about it. what should i do

 

  Hide contents

also how do i come to terms with my appearance?? i swear i can find a flaw with each one of my facial features but every time i try to vent about it my friends say (unsurprisingly, i guess) "no i think u look pretty!!" except the problem is my disgust at my own face. how do i stop

 

Dear Kim, 

I appreciate this (and you) a lot. However, I don't think I'd feel comfortable at all posting an essay on Ar-Pharazôn, King of Númenor, in the K-Pop chat thread.

You can always nerd out to me too though; I love being nerded out to as much as I love nerding out.

Spoiler

This may sound as cop-out advice, but it's really helping me a lot in life. The TL;DR version is: be content, always. No matter how you feel about something, it always is good. And if it is good, then there is no reason to feel like it is not good, right? Knowing that it is good helps me feel better about it. Of course it can't always "cancel" my bad feelings, but even then the thought comforts me.

It's a mindset I'd recommend to everyone; but maybe it just works well for me because I'm a very rational person, so I don't know if it works for you. 

There's a non-TL;DR version of this, but I don't know if you'd like an essay.

 

[Kinumi]

10 hours ago, SullyMcGully said:

Wow, lots of questions! Let's see what I can come up with for you guys...

Do you know these people in real life, or through the internet? If you know them in real life, you should probably apologize and promise to do better. If you know them online, just try to do better. If you are unwilling to change the behavior that made you seem annoying, then maybe you should just deal with not being able to nerd about that thing.

  Hide contents

Self image can be tricky. You are right in understanding that it is your opinion of yourself and not your actual body that needs to change. I advise that you start by figuring out what standard you are holding yourself up to. Is there a friend or celebrity that has your "dream appearance"? Try to come to terms with your expectations. There's nothing wrong with your face being the way it was genetically coded to be from the time you were born. Remember, most people would rather spend time with a plain-looking person with a good attitude than with a self-obsessed attractive person. When you get too concerned with your appearance you run the risk of being both self-obsessed and unattractive. I'm not saying that you are too concerned already, I'm just warning you to make sure that doesn't happen. Also, if you have a real issue to talk about, don't feel like you have to put it in spoiler tags. Hope this helps! 

dear sully,

while reading your answer i have realized that my initial question is dumb because i have not really nerded out to either of those friends in several weeks out of fear of annoying them....and that every time i apologize about it they are like "u are okay"...... regardless this was still a helpful answer though lmao. i do feel better so i appreciate it

Spoiler

also thanks wow that surprisingly helps a lot :_: i put it in spoilers because i wasn't sure if it was answerable or not, but you made a lot of good points!!! i will definitely keep this in mind

 

6 hours ago, Hattusili I said:

Dear Kim, 

I appreciate this (and you) a lot. However, I don't think I'd feel comfortable at all posting an essay on Ar-Pharazôn, King of Númenor, in the K-Pop chat thread.

You can always nerd out to me too though; I love being nerded out to as much as I love nerding out.

  Hide contents

This may sound as cop-out advice, but it's really helping me a lot in life. The TL;DR version is: be content, always. No matter how you feel about something, it always is good. And if it is good, then there is no reason to feel like it is not good, right? Knowing that it is good helps me feel better about it. Of course it can't always "cancel" my bad feelings, but even then the thought comforts me.

It's a mindset I'd recommend to everyone; but maybe it just works well for me because I'm a very rational person, so I don't know if it works for you. 

There's a non-TL;DR version of this, but I don't know if you'd like an essay.

 

dear hatt,

oops yeah i guess that's pretty reasonable heh.

and thanks for the offer!! right now i think i am okay, but if u ever wanna nerdpost in hhh and want a friend u should tell me (on my profile or something, because i am not afraid of those like i am of pm's) because i miss shitposting with u a lot. also thank u again for telling chrome to step it up because i didn't expect anyone to read that, much less reply, and seeing your comment meant a lot

Spoiler

wow that is a concept i have never thought about.....as a very emotional person i appreciate your perspective and will try to adapt to it and see if it helps!! thanks!!!!!

 

[Kinumi]

dear sully,

ok i have another problem

i have an awful, awful fear of public speaking. i took an oral communication and debate class last year in hopes of improving myself, and while i definitely did, i still have not gotten rid of my habit of crying right before all of my presentations and debates in school. my speech teacher himself has explicitly told me that i always did great despite my nervousness, and my friends joke that i become a different person as soon as i step up to the podium; i am aware that i am a good speaker and speech-writer and that my fear is irrational. every brilliant speaker i've asked for advice has told me that no one will notice my mistakes and that they won't matter in the grand scheme of things—i very much know that, but i just can't curb my anxiety, and i can't figure out the reason why.

i often spend the night prior practicing and recording myself speak for several hours and sometimes go without any sleep at all. (once, i even tried skipping meals and pulling an all-nighter in attempt to pass out before a major oration; ironically, i didn't deliver it that day and all i got was a throbbing headache that lasted for a week. it was irrational but also something i'd do again without hesitation if it meant delaying another speech.) it's very frustrating and embarrassing having to excuse myself before class just so i can cry my worries away—even though i know i'll collect myself quickly and end up getting a good grade. and it's definitely not a habit i want to keep for the rest of my life. how do i overcome this?

[SullyMcGully]

13 hours ago, lᴜnar said:

dear sully,

ok i have another problem

i have an awful, awful fear of public speaking. i took an oral communication and debate class last year in hopes of improving myself, and while i definitely did, i still have not gotten rid of my habit of crying right before all of my presentations and debates in school. my speech teacher himself has explicitly told me that i always did great despite my nervousness, and my friends joke that i become a different person as soon as i step up to the podium; i am aware that i am a good speaker and speech-writer and that my fear is irrational. every brilliant speaker i've asked for advice has told me that no one will notice my mistakes and that they won't matter in the grand scheme of things—i very much know that, but i just can't curb my anxiety, and i can't figure out the reason why.

i often spend the night prior practicing and recording myself speak for several hours and sometimes go without any sleep at all. (once, i even tried skipping meals and pulling an all-nighter in attempt to pass out before a major oration; ironically, i didn't deliver it that day and all i got was a throbbing headache that lasted for a week. it was irrational but also something i'd do again without hesitation if it meant delaying another speech.) it's very frustrating and embarrassing having to excuse myself before class just so i can cry my worries away—even though i know i'll collect myself quickly and end up getting a good grade. and it's definitely not a habit i want to keep for the rest of my life. how do i overcome this?

Have you tried imagining the audience naked?

This is a good question. First off, let me get one thing out of the way. Almost everybody has some amount of fear for public speaking. While you may have it worse than others, most people can understand the way you feel, so don't think that everybody is out to trip you up or laugh at your mistakes. 

I think that since you seem to actually be a good speechgiver/writer, you might want to back off a little on the worry. What I'm saying is, don't think about it! I know that you have to practice and all, but try to make a habit of catching yourself before you start fretting. The moment you begin to think about worst-case scenarios or actually giving the speech in front of a large group of people, just stop that train of thought and refocus on what you are supposed to be doing. If it gets to be too much, just take a break! Getting a perfect grade isn't worth it if you had to endure a week-long headache to get it. 

A piece of more practical advice: do you have a friend or group of friends you can practice in front of? Sometimes, making the jump from giving a speech to a mirror and giving the same speech to dozens of people can be a little daunting. If you have someone you trust who you can practice with, it can help bridge that gap.

I hope this is helpful. Good luck!

[Clarine]

Dear Sully,

Might I ask, just how does one such as myself possibly alleviate my boredom when I barely find anything interesting?

Your sincerely,

Clarine

[Arcanite]

13 minutes ago, Clarine said:

Dear Sully,

Might I ask, just how does one such as myself possibly alleviate my boredom when I barely find anything interesting?

Your sincerely,

Clarine

Dear Clarine,

I know you probably don't think well of me and I know Sully is more of an expert on giving advice, but to me I think getting to know new people helps a lot, since you get to hang out with them and go places with them! Also, learning new things/skills alleviates boredom. Cooking really helps me when I'm bored! Sometimes I go to the gym too which relieves stress. I also experience joy in helping others when I can. Ever try getting into new hobbies? 

 

 

Your worst nightmare,

Astolfo!

P.S. Sorry @SullyMcGully for hijacking your thread LOL

Edited August 26, 2017 by Astolfo!

[SullyMcGully]

47 minutes ago, Clarine said:

Dear Sully,

Might I ask, just how does one such as myself possibly alleviate my boredom when I barely find anything interesting?

Your sincerely,

Clarine

 

My dear lady Clarine, 

If you wish to alleviate your boredom, it might be a good idea to involve more people in your life. "Fun is twice as fun with someone to share", as they say. You might not be in a position where you are exposed to many among the common masses, but through the power of the internet, you can still form excellent relationships with interesting people. For instance, I would be willing to converse with you on a face-to-face (via Skype or such) basis, or through email, or something else along those lines. I'm sure others would too. There's also online gaming. Since you like Mario Kart and Smash, you have something in common with a lot of the people here and playing a round or two would be a great way to get closer.

I know that you don't like associating with all of us low-class peons, but someday it will be necessary. There has never been someone who was truly happy living life alone. Even serious introverts usually have people they really enjoy being around. I'm sorry if this displeases you, but I'll give you the facts straight: you won't be very happy any other way. You can't buy love, and that's what makes it so special.

Now, in order to do this, you are going to have to get better at caring about others. I'm not saying you need to pretend to be somebody else, but you can be sympathetic without compromising your personality. I know this is hard for you, but frankly, you will need to do this sometime. You can't stay this way your entire life. Someday, you'll have to take care of yourself, and the friendlier you are able to be to others, the easier it will be for you.

I'm sorry if this sounds like a lecture. I truly do have the most sincere intentions. I think behind your slightly narcissistic and superior attitude, you're probably a really sweet person. I'm sure that opening up seems uncomfortable, maybe even dangerous to you. But everybody who ever enjoyed their life had to do difficult things in order to do so, and you, despite being the most important person in the entire world, are no different from the rest of us in that regard. 

I pray you see the truth of my words.

34 minutes ago, Astolfo! said:

Dear Clarine,

I know you probably don't think well of me and I know Sully is more of an expert on giving advice, but to me I think getting to know new people helps a lot, since you get to hang out with them and go places with them! Also, learning new things/skills alleviates boredom. Cooking really helps me when I'm bored! Sometimes I go to the gym too which relieves stress. I also experience joy in helping others when I can. Ever try getting into new hobbies? 

 

 

Your worst nightmare,

Astolfo!

P.S. Sorry @SullyMcGully for hijacking your thread LOL

Don't worry, my robot friend Astolfo! In the OP, I said that anyone else could comment with their own advice, and I'm glad that you are doing just that! And I'm actually not much of an expert when it comes to giving advice, so I need all of the help I can get. 

[Clarine]

Dear Sully and Astolfo,

I must thank you for your efforts but truly, I believe I ought to tell you of my side of this story. As such, I have already been exploring the internet to converse with individuals that I might possibly deem to be interesting. However, I have already simply concluded I lack many things in common with such individuals as I am mentally incapable of truly developing passion for anything. In fact, such is especially true, many ignorant fools presumed I was depressed due to my overwhelming nonchalant nature.

If I may add, I oftentimes grow tired, if not bored of individuals dreadfully quickly. After all, I formed a passably acceptable amount of connections on another website only to grow uninterested in conversing with them. After all, human contact is unspeakably repetitive, if not vexing. If you wish, I can condone conversing with any of you via private message but one must be warned, I am not one to truly be interested in anything.

Mind you, I care not of "compromising my personality" as you say, for such is simply how I am. Possessing other views would be naught but acting so I must say—I was never truly one to even possess the energy and passion to "jump for joy" or even guffaw in the slightest, even as a mere child. In fact, one could easily deem my friendly communication was empty words.

If I may jest, such is truly characteristic of an emotional robot, no?

Your sincerely,

Clarine

P.S. @Astolfo!, you simply should not assume I despise your presence. In fact, I consider you to be superior to many individuals I have encountered throughout my life.

[Arcanite]

2 hours ago, Clarine said:

P.S. @Astolfo!, you simply should not assume I despise your presence. In fact, I consider you to be superior to many individuals I have encountered throughout my life.

Thank goodness

 

Dear Clarine,

I can most certainly understand not wanting to compromise your personality. Doing something like that may end up changing you for the worse (though in some cases for the better) since associating with ones that have bad personality, morals, and ideals will rub off on you. But when done in the right way, perhaps to those who actually have a decent personality, it can change your view of things, and even give you new experiences in life. Talking to one person all the time could be repetitive, but the reality is this: can one person ever truly know another person? Even when 2 people are married for years they may discover new things about their partners. There's always something more to learn, there's always something more to understand, and there's always something more to what you already know about someone, especially on the internet where people don't always exactly share their secrets right up front. When you volunteer yourself to talk to others, they feel special! As if you took it out of your time to message them because you were interested in them! Conversely though, you can't be afraid to share things about yourself like me.

One way you can start is with people who also are from the UK. People who have similar cultural identity can make nice friends~

 

Your favorite weirdo,

Astolfo