A Golden Warmth

[royaltyjunk]

Summary:

It fades away all too quickly, and then she is gone and taking her golden warmth with her, leaving into a winter wonderland that will soon become a winter nightmare. Written for the FE: Community Design challenge on Tumblr.

Author's Ideas: NO I'M NOT DEAD I PROMISE

I had a busier summer than I would think, so I wasn't able to write as much.

Anyway, written for @fe-communitydesign on Tumblr.

We got some Elibe up in here, my dudes. Lloyd/Ursula is like… wow. I don't know how I started shipping it, but I did, and whoo-boy. They are… interesting, to say the least. Lloyd despises Sonia, but Ursula practically worships her. They still manage to treat each other with respect, despite their differences, and there's something about that that makes me wonder about their relationship if you get down to the nitty gritty.

It also doesn't help that the game developers don't tell us jackshit about Ursula and Lloyd's backstories, so I had to do a lot of speculation here.

As always, readable on FanFiction and AO3.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Fire Emblem.

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A Golden Warmth

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When Ursula was young, she hated the crows.

She would sit by her windowsill and watch the black birds soar, caw, screech and screech until she could hear them in her sleep and yell at them to shut up, shut up, shut up!

She only hated them because they reminded her of herself. A bird that was caged, forced into the same actions every day, every hour, every minute.

Ursula saw the crows as herself. A young girl, trapped in a noble household that refused to feed its citizens, instead choosing to hold extravagant feasts every night. She begged her parents to give them food, but they beat her instead.

She wished she could help those citizens, who viewed her as a spoiled brat who knew nothing of their suffering.

She despised her family.

Her father drank every night, drank himself drunk until he was near dead. Her mother took those opportunities every day to bed other men. Any man who dare come to the castle never came out the same.

Ursula makes to get away one night, when her father lays drunk and unconscious one day, and her mother bedded by another man, as they always are.

She slips into a ragged cloak, pulls the hood over her head, and races down the stairs of the castle, out the garden door.

A gentle glass lantern guides her through the night, and she finds herself on the market streets where the locals starve. She can not bring herself to refuse the cries of her people, and offers the rations that she had packed to all.

Too late does she realize that she will be discovered, and next she knows, Ursula is on the cobblestone streets, pinned beneath castle soldiers, the bread and dried meats she is offering crushed underfoot. Her hood falls from her face, and the villagers shriek and cry aloud.

She scowls at the soldiers, screaming for them to unhand her, for she is the daughter of their lords. Yet they do not, and beat her before throwing her into her room, promising that her parents will see her when dawn comes the next day, whether she was ready or not.

The next morning, her parents are dead, laid in a bloody heap on the floor in front of her room, and a man with dirty blonde hair and a bloodied axe is extending his hand to her, a gently understanding look in his eyes.

She takes his hand.

She never once wonders why.

~ / . / . / ~

Lloyd first meets her when his father comes back from the castle of the lord, his axe on his shoulder.

"There's Father!" Linus points, and the brothers dash forward to meet their father. Yet, as they draw closer, they notice a young girl by his side.

"Father?" Lloyd asks once they stand in front of him, his eyes darting to the girl at his side.

"Later," he murmurs, handing his axe off to another warrior and scooping up the little girl into his arms.

The brothers watch their father walk away, a gentle look in his eyes.

Their father approaches them later during dinnertime, and there's only one question on Lloyd's mind.

"...Who is she?" he asks.

"She's your age. The daughter of those lords. She was thrown in the dungeons, and was going to be executed because she was feeding her people food she snuck from the castle."

"What a terrible set of circumstances," Lloyd murmurs under his breath, and Linus nods in agreement. It's only when they're passing by her room after they've been excused from the dinner table does Linus express his real feelings.

"I've never seen her. Father said she was our age, right?"

"Let me guess where this is going. You want me to go get her out of there?"

Linus nods, and Lloyd rolls his eyes, sighing.

"Fine."

Slowly, he pulls open the door. The room is dark except for a little candlestick on the bedside table. There's a rustle, and a blue-haired girl with sharp eyes comes into view of the light.

"Who are you? Are you going to hurt me? I can hurt you back," she snarls.

"No. I'm Brendan Reed's son, Lloyd Reed."

"Why should I believe in you?"

"You're right, you don't have to. But you can try. Just trust me."

Her face softens, and she looks away, an ashamed expression painting across her features. "You act just like Mr. Brendan… You really are his son, aren't you?"

Lloyd smiles. "Why don't you come outside with us?"

"Us?"

"My brother and I."

She hesitates, but nods. "Okay."

Ursula follows after him, and Linus looks up as they exit the room.

"You actually got her out?" his brother asks.

"Linus!" he scolds.

"I'm right here," Ursula deadpans.

"Sorry," Linus mumbles.

"Linus is… outspoken. He doesn't think before he speaks. At all." Lloyd glares at his sister. Ursula cracks a small smile, letting a gentle laugh slip from her mouth.

"I can see that."

"Wait, what's that supposed to mean!?" Linus cries indignantly, and Lloyd cackles as they hurry out of the Black Fang headquarters.

"Where are you going?" Brendan calls.

"Showing Ursula around!" Lloyd calls over the sound of Linus and Ursula's mock bickering.

"Stay safe!"

"We will!" Lloyd reassures, and then works on breaking up the playful punches they're hurling at each other.

They laugh the whole time, joking until they all sprawl out on a hill, leaning back against the grass.

"Hey, Ursula?" Linus asks suddenly.

"What is it?"

"Do you miss your parents?" Lloyd hisses in objection at his brother's question, but Ursula smiles.

"No," she answers, "I'm glad Mr. Brendan killed them. I hated them."

"Hated them?" Lloyd frowns. "Why?"

"They weren't good," the young teenager looks at him, her blue eyes like chips of ice. "They never loved me."

"That sounds terrible," Lloyd mutters, casting his eyes up at the starlit sky above them.

"It was," Ursula agrees, "but it was for the best."

Her words leave a tingling feeling in his heart. He comes to coin it a golden warmth.

~ / . / . / ~

One night, the leader of the Black Fang introduces them to Sonia.

They have grown since their days as teenagers. Linus and Lloyd make up half of the Four Fangs, and Ursula is on the cusp of becoming one.

Linus and Lloyd tower over her. They both hold immense power - Lloyd is a Swordmaster, and Linus a Hero. Ursula refuses to admit her improvement herself, but Lloyd praises her magic often.

They've grown closer, the three of them, but Lloyd and Ursula especially. Linus smirks every time she sits beside his brother in the dining hall, laughs knowingly whenever Lloyd stares at her during sparring practice. He's always one step ahead of them when they're walking around the headquarters, always volunteers to ride with Uhai so Lloyd can ride with Ursula.

She frowns at the thought of how silly the brothers are acting, considering they're hitting the end of twenty one years by the time the spring starts.

"Lloyd and Linus?" Legault tilts his head, an expression of deep thought on his face. "I think they're just glad, or sharing a secret. That's what they always do. It's a brother thing, I think."

"A secret about me, huh?" Ursula huffs, and Legault.

"Seems so. I do think I already know what that secret is, though."

"Really?" She raises an eyebrow at the thief. "Can't say I'm not intrigued…"

"I think you'll know soon enough," Legault reassures. "If I told you, I think both of them would cleave my head clean off my shoulders."

"Really?" Ursula raises her eyebrow at the thief, and he grins back.

"Wait for it," he hums.

The door to her room opens, and Lloyd glares at Legault.

"Shut it, Hurricane."

"Oh, don't mind me. I'll just be here," Legault whistles, sitting on the other side of Ursula's bed and mockingly covering his eyes.

She blinks. "Am I missing some context?"

"No, but…" he kneels down in front of her, pressing a box into her hands. "I got these for you."

Ursula looks at him strangely. "Where is this coming from?"

"I didn't get you anything for the holidays, did I?"

"I already told you, you didn't have to…" she smiles, taking the box and opening it. A pair of shimmering golden ring-shaped earrings lay nestled among the small box, and her smile grow wider. "Aren't these…?"

"You said you wanted them, didn't you? Why don't you try them on?"

Slowly, she removes the diamond studs on her ears and putting in the golden rings. She smiles.

"They're perfect."

"You look like you're proposing to her!" Legault throws over his shoulder.

Ursula flushes a crimson red, and Lloyd throws him a dirty look.

"Lloyd! Linus! Ursula!" Brendan Reed's booming voice comes from the first floor of the headquarters. Legault waves them off.

"Go on, lovebirds."

"Shut it," Lloyd hisses, and Ursula stands, sighing.

"Come on." Lloyd shoots one last angry look at Legault before following Ursula out of the room.

Linus smirks as they fall into step beside him in the hallway, and he leans over to whisper something in Lloyd's ear, his eyes on the golden earrings dangling from Ursula's ears. Lloyd punches his brother on the arm.

They descend down the stairs, and Brendan turns at the sound of their footsteps. He smiles.

By his side is a woman with jet black hair, blood red lips and nails, eyes the color of pieces of gold.

"This is Sonia," Brendan says, waving a hand at the woman beside him.

Something in Lloyd changes, and Ursula casts him a quick glance. His eyes are dark with worry, and his right hand grips tight around the sword's hilt. His left hand twitches. She turns her eyes back to the two people in front of them, but reaches for Lloyd's hand. He tangles his fingers with hers, squeezing her hand gratefully.

"Father, are you…" Linus starts, but trails off as Brendan mouths "later" at his son.

"Ah, this is Linus, then?" Sonia asks, a smirk on her red lips.

"Yes, this is Linus, that is Lloyd, and that is Ursula."

Sonia sweeps her golden gaze over the young adults. Lloyd grips Ursula's hand tighter, his shoulders growing tense.

"...I see. And those two are involved, are they?" Sonia gestures at Lloyd and Ursula.

"No," Lloyd narrows his eyes at the woman. Ursula bites her lip.

"Hmph. If you say so."

"Let me show you around, Sonia. You three are dismissed." Brendan turns from the trio, gesturing to the first floor of the headquarters.

Lloyd and Ursula hurry up the stairs, Linus following them. They pause in front of Ursula's room.

"I'll see you later," Lloyd murmurs, and Ursula nods, letting go of his hand.

"Okay." She gives the brothers a worried look. "Will you two be okay?"

"Give us a bit of time," Linus hisses under his breath. She nods.

"I will." The woman pushes the door to her room open. Legault looks over his shoulder from where he's spinning a dagger on his finger.

"Back already?"

"Let me guess this little secret you know," she states, and Legault raises an eyebrow. "He has feelings for me, doesn't he?"

"It took you this long to figure it out?"

Ursula groans. "Now I see why Lloyd finds you so annoying…"

"Look, I'm pretty sure you already know your own feelings too."

"Are you certain?" Her eyes are worried.

"Think-" Legault freezes, and before she can ask, he dashes out the side door. Her other door opens at the same time, and she looks over.

"Lloyd?" she tilts her head. "Is something wrong?"

"Can we go on a walk?" he asks. There's an angry look in his eyes, and she stands, nodding.

"Yes. Hold on, let me…" she rummages through her closet, frowning. "Where are my coats…?"

Lloyd drapes his longcoat over her shoulders, and she smiles gratefully at him.

"Ready to go?" he asks, a gentle smile mirrored on his face.

"Yes," she breathes, and he leads her out of the headquarters and through the forest, taking her hand as they walk through the debris. They end up at the edge of the lake, on the edge of defrosting. Slowly, she sits. He sits beside her, and they stare at the horizon in the distance, a gentle silence settling around them.

"I don't like her."

Ursula bites her lip, her gaze glued to Lloyd whose hair is matted with the fog that slithers about the water's edge.

"I don't trust her. There's something about her that just-"

"Lloyd."

He looks at her.

"I'm sure she's fine. You're just worried. It is your father, after all."

He sighs, lowering his gaze. "I guess so." Lloyd throws his head back, running a hand through his damp hair before offering Ursula a crooked smile as he stands. She stands with him, moving to give him his coat back. "Thanks. Keep the coat for now. I'll get it back in the morning."

Her hand clenches against the coat around her shoulders as he brushes past her, moving past Ursula and towards their headquarters.

She spins around, and the noise does not go unnoticed by Lloyd, as he stops pushing through branches of the forest, waiting for her to speak.

"Lloyd."

He turns to look at her, and she purses her lips, keeping her eyes on her feet. She's struggling to keep her composure, and she knows Lloyd can tell, but she continues to speak.

"Lloyd, I-"

"I know."

Ursula glances up at him in surprise, and he smiles. "Trust me."

She giggles. "Of course."

The next day, she finds her coats in Linus's closet, and she refuses to speak to him for the rest of the moon.

~ / . / . / ~

Ursula spends less time with the staff, and more time with the tome, and with Sonia as a result.

Whenever he comes to the training grounds, there they are, throwing magic spells across the snow-covered battlegrounds. Fire and thunder char the snow for all the hours he spends hacking at Linus and more.

"You should talk to her," Linus urges one day as they retire to their rooms. Lloyd's hands clench around the cloth he's cleaning his sword with.

"She's busy," he murmurs in response.

"You love her," Linus retorts.

"...She's probably forgotten her love for me by now," Lloyd runs his fingers along the flat of his blade.

Linus stops removing his armor, looking over his shoulder at his brother. "You're a fucking wimp. You know that, right?"

"Go put your gold in the swear jar," Lloyd jerks his thumb over his shoulder.

"Why the hell do we have that anyways?" Linus yells as he leaves the room.

"That's ten pieces!" Lloyd calls back. Linus's footsteps fade away, and Lloyd sheathes his sword, leaving it on the table beside his bed. Sluggishly, he walks down the hallways of the Black Fang headquarters, letting his feet follow the path he had once thought was instinct. Watching the path his legs lead him, he realizes he doesn't recognize those hallways anymore.

Unfamiliar faces litter the hallways, members of the Black Fang he had never known existed, now salute him. All he can note is the striking golden eyes and jet black hair that some of the recruits have, features that look shockingly familiar to Sonia's.

Black hair as dark as her soul, golden eyes to mimic the golden warmth she had stolen from him.

He tells himself it's just his imagination, out of fear that Sonia has taken over his life.

Lloyd stops himself in front of her room, taking in a deep breath before knocking confidently on her door.

The door to her room opens, and Ursula starts upon seeing the man in her doorway.

"Lloyd…"

He cracks a smile. "Ursula."

"What are you doing here?" she asks.

"Am I not allowed to visit you anymore?"

"No, but… you have duties, and I have mine. We're adults now, Lloyd. Not children, or teenagers."

"Ursula," he grabs her by the shoulders as she attempts to turn and shut the door on him. She looks up at him, and he pulls her into a hug, his hands resting on the small of her back. "I missed you…"

"Lloyd…" she presses a hand against his waist, leaning her forehead against his chest. "I didn't go anywhere…"

"I know, but-" he cuts himself off, and Ursula glances at him.

"Is something wrong?" she looks into his eyes, and her eyes darken. "Is this about Sonia?'

His hands tense up against her back, and she pulls away from him. "I'm worried."

"She's not that bad, Lloyd. She's… She's a good teacher."

"I know, it's just… I don't trust her."

"Lloyd, it's not about trust, it's about-"

"Do you trust me?" He interrupts.

"Of course," she responds, but he hears uncertainty and doubt in her voice, sees darkness in her eyes, feels the golden warmth in her heart seeping away, all because of that witch.

He never sees her again until Sonia assembles the Four Fangs, one year later when the snow falls lightly on their headquarters in Bern.

~ / . / . / ~

He speaks to her one last time before she leaves for the Bern manse.

He finds her in the stable, her hands clenched tightly around a Bolting tome as she saddles her white mare up.

"Ursula," he calls out, and she freezes, turning to look at him.

"The White Wolf."

Her voice is hypnotically sweet, coated with honey and the tone she speaks in is hauntingly familiar to Sonia's.

"I'm sure you know me by a better name, Blue Crow."

"...Lloyd." Her voice is low and soft, and she avoids his eyes.

"Ursula," he lets her name roll off his tongue pointedly. His tone softens. "How long as has it been since I last spoke with you?"

"Two weeks," she responds, and her voice is cold and void, missing that seductive allure it had moments ago and the gentle, genuine sound from years ago, when he had loved her. She reaches for the Elfire tome on the ground by her steed. There's a glimmer of gold behind the bangs that cover her ears, but he doesn't want to dream, only for it to be crushed.

"Since we last really spoke."

She tenses up at that, pursing her thin lips. "I don't have time for your estranged sense of conversation."

"Estranged?" Lloyd curls his lip. "I suppose it's ironic for someone who's become a puppet to say that."

"Who is the true puppet, then? Me? Or you?"

"Am I the one who followed that she-witch, the one who trails behind her like a mutt does its owner, the one who would do anything she ordered? No, I haven't changed. You have."

"...You haven't changed. You really haven't."

"What did you say?"

"I have to go," she states, turning abruptly. The hair hanging in front of her ears flows in front of her face. His eyes widen when he sees the earrings on her ears, golden rings that glimmer under the setting sun.

When he speaks up, his voice is half-caught in his throat, and Ursula barely catches his words.

"Stay safe."

"I am perfectly capable of protecting myself."

"Come back alive," he urges, "we still have to talk."

Ursula looks at him, a placid look on her face, yet the confusion imminent in her eyes.

"Trust me."

She smiles, and for a second, her smile brightens, and he can see the old Ursula. The Ursula that fretted over his injuries, that could barely pick up an Elfire tome without complaining. The blue-haired girl that pushed him into the lake during night hikes on the shoreside, the woman who blushed when he gave her the pair of golden earrings she wore. The Ursula that would never hesitate to stuff snow down his cloak at the first snow of winter, the Ursula that lay on the floor of her bedroom with him on late nights when they were but silly youths on the peak of adulthood, laughing at the stubble growing on his chin.

It fades away all too quickly, and then she is gone and taking her golden warmth with her, leaving into a winter wonderland that will soon become a winter nightmare.

Sometime at night, when Lloyd lays, restless, counting the raindrops that splash against his rooftop, he hears a crow caw, and the White Wolf can only curl into himself deeper, wishing desperately for the golden warmth of the crow that would never reach him through his fur.

The next day, he picks up the Runesword and Iron Rune Sonia gifted him moons ago and makes for the Shrine of Seals, his golden warmth gone.

~ / . / . / ~

Props to you if you can figure out where I got Ursula's backstory from :p