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Rate the Above Poster's Pun, Joke, or Meme


Stephen the Great
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6/10 where's the lie?

There was a chihuahua, a boxer, and a bulldog. A poodle appears and says "I'll make one of you very happy if you can use liver and cheese in a sentence."

The boxer says "I love liver and cheese." The poodle says "No that won't work."

The bulldog says "I hate liver and cheese." The poodle says "No that won't work."

The chihuahua says "Liver alone cheese mine!"

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7/10 but who the hell names their kid Phones?

A 90 year old man goes to the doctor. "I couldn't be happier Doc! I have a 20 year old girlfriend and she's pregnant with my child! What do you think?"

"Well let me tell you a story." The doctor says. "I have a friend who hunts animals for their fur. One day he accidentally took his umbrella instead of his gun. He saw a beaver, pointed the umbrella at it, and yelled 'bang!' And the beaver dropped dead. What do you think happened?"

"I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."

"That's what I was getting at..."

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9/10, I felt bad for a second.

1 hour ago, Dragoncat said:

7/10 but who the hell names their kid Phones?

Well I would say it's easier to call them this way.

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7 minutes ago, Nym said:

Well I would say it's easier to call them this way.

8/10.

Why do people say "I slept like a baby" if they don't mean "I woke up every two hours because I shit myself and now I'm hungry"?

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3/10

I once knew a girl named Holiday once and me and a bunch of other people came up with a bunch of jokes. Here’s two:

Holiday, have you ever been to Cambodia?

Said to a friend in front of Holiday: “Did you know that Green Day was on Holiday”

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Coincidentally, I just learned what Green Day was today.

1/10, and that's only because of something outside of the context of the joke.

 

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Image

...I don't know what the tissue is for, or what happened in the guys pants, but it reduced the joke rating from a 7/10 to a 2/10, or 1/5.

It would be hilarious for that to happen to a player out of the blue in the game itself, though.

For my joke:

qY15Z7.gif

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6/10 old joke is old.

There was a turkey and a bull. The turkey says "I have no energy lately." The bull says "eat some of my droppings, they'll help." So the turkey does, and gets so much energy that he's able to fly to the roof of the barn, where the farmer shoots him. The moral of the story is: bullshit might get you to the top, but it isn't going to keep you there.

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9/10 That’s the first time I’ve heard that one.

There’s a very old married couple in their 70s.

One day, the husband says, “Honey, we’ve been together for a very long time and I was a little curious how many times you’ve cheated on me.”

The wife says, “What?”

The husband says, “Well in my twenties, thirties, and a couple times during my forties, I cheated on you. But since then, I’ve stayed faithful. I figured it would be nice if we were mature and cleared the air and acknowledged all of the times we’ve cheated on each other.”

The wife said, “You can’t be serious.”

The husband said, “I am. Come on, haven’t you ever cheated on me?”

The wife finally said, “Fine; I’m currently having an affair with our pool boy.”

The husband then got enraged and said, “The bastard! I’ll kill him!”

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