Dragoncat Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 8/10. For those of you who've played Zelda Skyward Sword, add the following to the joke: Black shirt = Groose Red shirt = Link White shirt = Pipit Navy blue American Eagle shirt = Cawlin Otherwise just include the video in the joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoblongoo Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 (edited) 4/10--its not that it isn't funny. I know its funny. I should objectively give this an 8/10, because people being obnoxiously drunk in public is funny. Its that at work, I've had to watch so many surveillance videos of people being obnoxiously drunk in public. And its usually in the context of trying to brainstorm "...how am I going to defend this shit in court?" It's sucked all the humor out of it for me. I see this shit now and instead of laughing, I get to thinking "...whats his rapsheet look like? Any arrests for drug possession of DUI? Can we drop the public intoxication charge and plead him out without admitting on-the-record he was intoxicated, if he pleads guilty to loitering?" ...lawyer problems... ____ Edited February 21, 2018 by Shoblongoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 1 hour ago, Shoblongoo said: ...lawyer problems... Wow, you're a lawyer? And you loved those lawyer jokes? Awesome, at least you can laugh at yourself/your profession. It's funnier if you've played Skyward Sword and can picture the characters I mentioned as the people in the video, honestly. 7/10. Troll angel! There was a blond, a brunette, and a redhead who all wanted to become nuns. The head nun told them to go out and do something bad. They come back and the brunette and redhead are crying and the blond is laughing. The head nun says to the brunette: "What did you do?" "I stole a milkshake from a little kid!" "Drink the holy water and your sins will be removed." The head nun goes to the redhead. "What did you do?" "I shoplifted from the mall." "Drink the holy water and your sins will be removed." The head nun goes to the blond. "What did you do?" "I pissed in the holy water!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoblongoo Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 On 2/21/2018 at 1:38 PM, Dragoncat said: There was a blond, a brunette, and a redhead who all wanted to become nuns. The head nun told them to go out and do something bad. They come back and the brunette and redhead are crying and the blond is laughing. The head nun says to the brunette: "What did you do?" "I stole a milkshake from a little kid!" "Drink the holy water and your sins will be removed." The head nun goes to the redhead. "What did you do?" "I shoplifted from the mall." "Drink the holy water and your sins will be removed." The head nun goes to the blond. "What did you do?" "I pissed in the holy water!" 7/10 ...oh no...I'm going to have to start doing blonde jokes... But first--this. Do you even English??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 8/10. "We invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rex Glacies Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 Translations can be great, but this isn't all that funny to me. 6/10. Jesus, Moses, and an old man decide to go golfing. Jesus goes first. He hits the ball, but it lands in the water. However, the ball simply rolls across the water and onto the green. Moses goes next, and he too hits the water. But before making contact, the water splits in two and the ball rolls through and onto the green as well. The old man goes next. He hits the ball, but it lands in the water. A second later, an eagle swoops down and picks up a fish from the water and begins flying away, before a lightning bolt comes from nowhere and strikes the eagle. The eagle falls dead, dropping the fish who spits out the golf ball. The ball rolls a little, and goes in the hole. A hole in one. At this point Jesus raises his hands and shakes his head, saying "This is the last time I'm bringing my dad golfing." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 7/10, God wasn't even invited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nym Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 6/10 A married couple lived together but the man didn't like their marriage. One evening, they were about to go on a date, the woman went to the living room and asked to her husband. ''Honey, can I go out in this dress?'' The husband responded. "Yes, dear," The wife smiled. "It's already dark outside." finished the husband. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randoman Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 I'm afraid I don't get the joke, at all. I'll need someone to explain it to me before I give it a proper rating out of 10. Hopefully this counts as a meme/joke, since it does pertain to the "Waluigi Time!" meme. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 43 minutes ago, Randoman said: I'm afraid I don't get the joke, at all. I'll need someone to explain it to me before I give it a proper rating out of 10. The husband was saying the wife looked horrible in that dress, hence why he was glad it was dark, because he wouldn't have to see it. I think. That's pretty wtf, but funny I guess. 6/10. There was an old farmer and his wife who'd been married for 50 years. On their 50th anniversary, the wife says "Frank, it's our 50th anniversary. Let's celebrate, let's have a party, let's kill a pig!" The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel, I don't understand why a pig should have to be punished for something that happened 50 years ago!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nym Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 (edited) On 04/03/2018 at 4:56 PM, Randoman said: I'm afraid I don't get the joke, at all. I'll need someone to explain it to me before I give it a proper rating out of 10. On 04/03/2018 at 5:43 PM, Dragoncat said: The husband was saying the wife looked horrible in that dress, hence why he was glad it was dark, because he wouldn't have to see it. I think. Yup I have another one from the same couple. So the husband was sitting on his couch, reading the newpapers. Outside, it was heavy raining. ''It has been raining for days now.'' said the husband. ''And Ashley (his wife) seems very depressed by it.'' continued the husband. ''She keeps standing at the window, just... staring." "If it continues, I think I'll allow her to enter inside." Edited April 9, 2018 by Nym Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 @Nym You forgot to rate mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nym Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 1 hour ago, Dragoncat said: @Nym You forgot to rate mine. Woops 6/10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Okay, so I assume in your joke, the husband locked the wife outside in the rain? How mean! 6.5/10. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nym Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 10 minutes ago, Dragoncat said: Okay, so I assume in your joke, the husband locked the wife outside in the rain? How mean! 6.5/10. XD Made me chuckle 7/10 Overrated mascot though I guessing the name of this parade is the Attack of the Double Team? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 And I get to post two jokes in a row. Go me! There was a very horny guy who was driving along and saw a sign that said "Free hookers, straight ahead." Straight ahead was a church. He thought it was odd that a church was offering hookers, but he was a horny guy after all, so he went in and asked for one. "Just wait here." The guy at the desk said. "We will bring one out to your car and tell you when she's there." When he was told he could go back to his car, he found nothing but a sign that said: "Congratulations! You have just been screwed by the Church of Jesus Christ." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rex Glacies Posted March 29, 2018 Share Posted March 29, 2018 I just don't care for this type of humor. 2/10. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted March 29, 2018 Share Posted March 29, 2018 (edited) 5/10, I kinda get it? Jefferson and Adams being the founding fathers who came up with the two party system, right? A guy was a bus driver on Sesame Street. First two large women named Patty get on. Then a mentally disabled boy named Ross gets on. Then a man named Lester Freeze gets on and picks at his feet the whole trip. The bus driver's wife asks him about his day and he says "Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Freeze picks his bunions on a Sesame Street bus!" Read the last quote out loud if you don't get it. Hint: fast food commercials. Edited March 29, 2018 by Dragoncat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nym Posted April 25, 2018 Share Posted April 25, 2018 How do you call a poison type eeveelution? A Scorpeon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punished Dayni Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 You know what, you get a 6/10 even if I didn't laugh because I got it. Got a smile from it. Give that Scorpeon a stinger for that tail. Now, I just had to show this somehow: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 Eh, 6/10. Got a smile out of me, but nothing more. 'Twas a predictable music change, too. I also looked back through this entire thing, and realized that none of my favorite memes were present. Time to change that: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 6/10, gets a chuckle from me but I've seen it before. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMEDIA Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 5/10 What is the name of the Asian guy every girl wants to sleep with? Long Dong Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 5/10 sometimes it can be TOO long... There was a little girl named Fufu. At school the kids are asked to spell their names. "F U F U" "Go to the principal!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corrobin Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 7/10, funny, but dirty. A blind guy walks into a bar. Forgive him, he didn't see it in front of him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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