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The FE Nonsense Story Thread - Now in Act V!


Stephen the Great
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How do you like the Nonsense Story?  

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  1. 1. Your opinion?

    • It's great!
    • It's good.
    • It's OK.
    • It's bad.
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    • It's crap!


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...Deens Brave Sword, to see whether or not it would turn into a brave weapon that attacks twice, or a killing edge.

As they were about to commence this experiment, Deen, having leveling up into an Ancient  Lich after spending some time as a faux-filler boss in Wesnoth, snuck into the testing facility...

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... L'Arachel, via bitcoin transaction with the owner of the machine. For an amount of money equaling a 0,1 bitcoin, L'Arachel receives the Fenton Thermos and opens it to reveal the ghost of Deen, among several others filling her room with other ghosts of the past. L'Arachel says that she will reward them if they work for her, and having nothing to do, the dead obliges her words as they make their move through the border and grow plants to catch their attention with Deen sneaking in to assassinate Lord Helix with the Bullet Seed Gun.

On the way to the border, the ghosts...

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...are stopped in their tracks by Donald Trump. With the help of the Ghostbusters, Luigi, Danny Phantom, Renault and a Gumshoos, the ghosts are deported back into the Ghost Zone, and Danny volunteers on a quest issued by the Oracle of Delphi (named Rachel Elizabeth Dare) to bring the Bullet Seed Gun to the still-erupting Mount Mayon and toss it into the volcano. On his quest, he is accompanied by Renault and...

Edited by Purple Mage
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...Gregor, who was taking a permanent vacation in the area after being scammed into believing it was trip to Hawaii (not that he was complaining). He agreed to hijack a hydroplane in order to pick up both Danny and Renault using a Fulton surface-to-air recovery system, as well as to drop the gun into the volcano from a safe distance. What he didn't tell them was...

(Fun fact, Mount Mayon is an actual volcano! The more you know...)

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... deadpans once more. Not only she lost her money, she was also indirectly betrayed and scammed by none other than the owner of the can. Angered by the ongoing indecency, she laid her back on the carpeted floor, rolling to the left and right before crying herself to sleep. As soon as she is about to cry, the door to her room opens as someone comes barging in, who is revealed to be...

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...Dorcas, who was storming with rage over how quickly his sub-plot was forgotten, how many times he has died in this thread, and how the only memes about him are about mutton and poison. Most of all, however, he furious at the person who ordered his wife killed, who in that very room was pretending to be one of L'Arachel's guards, and was revealed to be...

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...L'Arachel herself. Dorcas borrows the Armads from Hector, and slays her, thus ending the war and securing Anarchy's victory, finishing the subplot.

Hong Kong is given back to China, and Dorcas is hailed as a hero by Lord Helix himself.

Now, in Canada, Roy and Idoun were...

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.... dodged the puck making a goal, and the net and its puck explodes with Xander knocked back by the explosion and the crowd cheered for Hoshido, scoring 1-0 with Male & Female Corrin being the referee. Leo began to...

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...shoot the puck into the Hoshidan goal, making the score 1-1. Azura was spectating and munching on popcorn, sharing it with the now-revived Shigure. (She came to the Daedric Prince Azura to bargain for his life.)

By this point, Roy was piercing Idoun once more with his "Binding Blade" (out in the open, yes) as Xander shot the puck at Saizo...

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.... as he accidentally aims for Roy and Idoun, but the puck doesn't explode. Roy then had a scar in the head for the puck and threw it to the Nohrian goal and Xander gets blown again, scoring 2-1 for that shit. We don't know why Roy throw the puck to the Nohrians when Saizo's the one who accidentally aims it at the unknowing "couple", but Roy states that...

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... Kiran, the Summoner of the Order of Heroes. The one who stands before them, Donnel himself, grins as he raises what seems to be a black orb that transcends the fabric of time and space, materializing building materials out of thin air then arranging them with a gentle flick of his other free hand. It eventually gathers up and forms...

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...a giant Koopa Troopa sprite, in block form! Then Donnel revealed that he was a master builder in Minecraft, and that he loved the game with all of his heart, even after it had lost much of its popularity. Apparently, he made a deal with Plegia itself to build a wall decorated with sprites of the Super Mario series.

When the Royals and Kiran heard of this, they...

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