Loneliness....

[Harvey]

Ok this is somewhat similar to the depression topic in some thread here except that its something else...particularly my loneliness.

For a very long time, I end up being all alone mostly because I'm not very social and when I do end up being social, either it ends up making me a laughing scene or that people just find me awkward in general. I mean it doesn't happen frequently but still it does happen at times.

There's also the problem that whoever friends I make, they end up impressive at first but then start to have issues or just ruin my life somehow. I try to be generous and help others and in the end, I end up getting kinda exploited. My passion in my work is also abused because for some reason, I get emotional abuse at certain points and the people at office in general are kinda...I don't want to say savages but definitely ill mannered and uncivilized in general as they smoke and rag around the office so you can tell how annoying it kinda is a lot of times. Luckily not all of them are like that but its not saying much.

To me, I always had this thought that friends are just enemies that don't want to kill you. And that phrase kinda worked out for me because in the end all the ones I accompanied with just abused me a whole lot in the end. 

The only ones who don't do like this are my parents and my brother..or just my family in general..although they also cause other mental problems to me like getting myself married and whatnot.

My best friend this whole time is my mother...not because she's the one that knows me and all but the one who cares deeply about me. The reason I'm sad is because when my parents time comes....no one's going to like me as much as them and no one is going to guide me as much as them. Seeing my mom getting white hair is all the more depressing just for me.

.....I guess what I'm trying to get here is that I feel like I'm just unwanted in general besides my family. You see fans praising celebrities like Tom Hanks or someone like Yuzo Koshiro and they have cults that make them special. Me? What cult do I have? Or who's gonna care about me if at all I end up being dead or sitting at a bench alone?

I want to go to therapy....but parents are delaying that for no reason as my mom doesn't want me to start using drugs and whatnot.

The response from here on in these posts are probably going to offer me pity.......regardless, this is what I am suffering from. And I guess these forums like here are better because I'm into stuff that you guys are into so in that sense, I feel nice in that aspect alone. So I should probably thank you guys for me being here despite my....early impressions.

 

Edited November 14, 2017 by Harvey
Just removed the meat thing argument to further avoid poisoning the thread.

[Johann]

A few thoughts on this...

• It's always a good thing to admit that things are troubling you. Feeling and admitting you are unhappy is not a sign of weakness, nor should you blame yourself for it (though you do have the power to do something about it, even if you don't realize it).
• Workplaces are pretty consistently terrible places to make friends, so again, this is something that is normal and not your fault. Co-workers are going to suck everywhere. If you do have problems with them, however, it's important to speak up about it, or else it'll likely never change.
• Making and maintaining friendships after school/college is extremely difficult. In school, you're at least surrounded by people your own age, but as a working adult, you don't have as much time. This is also something that's largely universal and not your fault, most people are dealing with this. Having a venue to meet new people is an amazing thing. What are you into other than games? I personally enjoy art, music, and acting, so galleries, bars with live acoustic music, and theaters are great for me, and I meet a lot of great people with similar tastes.
• It's totally fine and healthy that your family members are the closest people to you. Some people have shit relationships with their families and suffer for it.
• People like Tom Hanks because he's created a lot of heartwarming stuff over the years and is, from what I've heard, a super nice person in real life. His situation is unique, partly because there are a LOT of terrible people in show business (or really anywhere with concentrated money and power), but also because the most sincere celebrities don't really care about the fame. They love their families, friends, and work. The fame and money are just a means to bring good things into the world.
• Therapy is good. Honestly, most people should experience therapy at some point in their lives. Bear in mind, however, that none of us here are therapists, and if we were, we wouldn't be able to help you without actually being in the same room as you. Inform your family that medication is not required to deal with problems you might be having, and even if offered, you can simply refuse them.

[EricaofRenais]

I understand where you are coming from, my mom is the only person I completely trust and I only have one other person I would call a "friend".  I used to want to make friends and I was outgoing but I got burned really bad by people I trusted and since then I don't want to let anyone get close to me.  Of course I am to the point where I don't care much if other people ignore me, I am happy with my dogs and cat, at least they don't lie to my face and stab me in the back.  I personally made the choice not to do therapy because of the view people in my city have about diabetics, being type 1 for 23 years of my life I get a bit sick of people saying that my health problems are my fault and I deserve it when what caused my problem was my immune system attacking my pancreas.  I don't trust the therapists in my city to be supportive of me and  help with my problems because of the way diabetics are treated here.  But maybe therapy can help you deal with your issues, I know it does help some people.  And remember comparing yourself to famous people is pointless since they have people who work for them whose job is to make them look good and make people like them, if they did not have that they would be just like everyone else.  Work is a bad place to make friends, people are there to make money and they have no problem about making trouble for those around them if it can help them keep their job/get more money.  Making friends as an adult is hard , the only thing I can say is join a club or group that does things you like, that way you have something to talk to others about that you both like.

[Thane]

Feeling lonely is dreadful, and I genuinely hope you'll find yourself in good company soon, if that is something you seek.

However, since Johann has already covered the basics, I will give some tougher love. I won't pretend to know what kind of circumstances you have since I don't know you - hell I don't even know where you live or how old you are, but I will speak generally.

For starters, I feel like your attitude towards friendship and other people in general seems strange. Case in point: 

3 hours ago, Harvey said:

To me, I always had this thought that friends are just enemies that don't want to kill you.

This is not a healthy thought to have. Being mindful of the company you keep is one thing, thinking like this is another matter entirely. It borders on paranoia.

3 hours ago, Harvey said:

and the people at office in general are kinda...I don't want to say savages but definitely ill mannered and uncivilized in general as they smoke and eat meat( I'm a strict vegan) so you can tell how annoying it kinda is a lot of times.

You call people that smoke and eat meat "ill mannered and uncivilized". Now, again, I don't know what kind of blokes you work with - maybe they try to throw slabs of meat at you or blow smoke in your face, in which case they're most certainly assholes, but referring to people like this is generally a good indicator as to why someone might want to keep their distance from you. I say that as someone who dislikes smoking more than the average guy.

I'm not saying this to be mean to you and kick you while you're down, but rather try to offer as neutral of an opinion as I can based on what you've written here. If you want to go to therapy, than I believe that you should; someone who can get to know you better and help you out more than we on the internet can sounds good to me. 

I'm confused though, you work, yet your mother has to sanction you going to therapy? 

Edited November 13, 2017 by Thane

[Anacybele]

...People who eat meat are ill-mannered and uncivilized? What? I take offense to that as someone that eats meat (though not much). Don't say crap like that, please.

Anyway, I kind of relate. I'm lonely a lot too because I have no friends around here and can't get out much or anything... It'd be nice to be able to change that, but I've decided I simply can't. I can get a driver's license to help me get out more, but other than that... Yeah. I'm just not the best at socializing. I'd rather keep myself away from that trouble.

[Arcanite]

2 hours ago, Harvey said:

definitely ill mannered and uncivilized in general as they smoke and eat meat( I'm a strict vegan)

Smoking is bad, so I agree.

Eating meat does not make you uncivilized.... or ill-mannered. I try to stay away from these topics because I am not one to.... engage much in conflict. But saying stuff like this doesn't make you any better than they are, because of having such a judgmental attitude. It's the same as being racist, tbh. Oh these people are [race] so they're not good people. Oh and these people eat meat so they're just nasty (or that is why they're nasty).

You DO say not all of them are like that though, so hey, that's good. I just want to say that this statement is.... not nice D: Unless you mean people who smoke AND eat meat are ill mannered and uncivilized or something

I have a vegetarian friend and they don't look down on people who eat meat :P 

 

I have never felt lonely myself.... though I don't have many people I'd call IRL "friends" (people I know I can talk to personally and depend on). But it doesn't bother me much. My logic is that, I lived without friends before, so I can now~ I have my family as well. I know you mentioned your mom, but how close are you to your family in general?

[Rezzy]

1 hour ago, Thane said:

You call people that smoke and eat meat "ill mannered and uncivilized". Now, again, I don't know what kind of blokes that work around you - maybe they try to throw slabs of meat at you or blow smoke in your face, in which case they're most certainly assholes, but referring to people like this is generally a good indicator as to why someone might want to keep their distance from you. I say that as someone who dislikes smoking more than the average guy.

I'm going to have to second this.  Disliking people simply for eating meat is the worst stereotype of vegans.  I'm a shameless omnivore, but I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs at all.  I know many people who do, and having vices doesn't automatically make a person a bad person, especially in moderation.  Several of my best friends smoke.  I wish they didn't but that is mostly for their health, not because they blow it in my face or anything.  They are very good about not smoking around me, because they know I have asthma and are considerate people.

Outlooks like yours will limit your potential friends.  Both those who might smoke or eat meat and those who you come across as zealous or unreasonable to.

[badatfireemblem]

I'm generally not one for this kind of discussion, but I feel I have to say something.

I'm not a strict vegan, but I'm very strict about not eating meat and I try and eat as little dairy as possible. And as an asthma sufferer, I generally dislike when people smoke in front of me, but I politely explain why I feel that way to them. Your co-workers smoke and eat meat, yes, but do those things really make them uncivilised? Mine and your personal life choices do not mean that people who don't follow them are wrong. However, I personally have experienced cruelty and humiliation from people, an example being one time this kid throwing a pig's heart in my face, so I can understand if these people are making your life harder due to your veganism.

I'm really sorry if any of this comes across as rude, it isn't my intention.

 

I understand how difficult loneliness can be. I have been there a few times.

As far as workplaces, personally I've never made true friends in those situations. A lot of my close friends I formed bonds with through interests, and some are just those I've made an effort to stay in contact with after school. A lot of the time friends are hard to keep and you have to work to stay in touch with them. Sometimes you just realise you just don't 'click'. I recently made some friends on SF that I feel more in tune with than a lot of my irl friends, but that doesn't make me think that my irl friends are any lesser, they're just different.

I think everyone else has covered everything else I was going to say.

I truly hope that you improve this loneliness you feel.

Edited November 13, 2017 by Natalie

[SoulWeaver]

I'm sorry, Harv, but it looks like here we must part ways…you see, I am pretty much the exact opposite of a vegan - about the only thing I ever eat is meat(thanks, Chic-Fil-A, for giving me free food for working there) and I'm sure you don't need my uncivilized presence in your life...

…In all seriousness, I think it's weird that the guy who makes it pretty much his job to troll people(me) is the only one wondering why we're all freaking out over him saying something that sounds like something I'd say on here. Maybe he did end up stereotyping meat-eaters and smokers…but who honestly gives a crap? I know if I said something like the first post and everyone jumped on me for saying, for example, I don't particularly like people who want abortion to be so freely available to everyone(do NOT fight me on this, now is not the time, you can blacklist me later), I'd feel like 1) you're missing the entire point of the post, 2) oh look, you're just proving my point about people not being worth it, and 3) go to heck.

On topic, Harvey, I'll pretend I feel ya, man - being lonely sucks. I say pretend because of course there's no way for me to know exactly how you feel as I haven't lived through the exact same circumstances as you with your particular set of talents and handicaps, whatever they may be, but I have felt lonely, so I can sympathize with feeling that, and it's not fun at all. I don't know what to recommend that will for sure help you, but getting back into card games has helped me with my own loneliness because now I have people that I go meet every week who all do something I do. If you can find something like that for something you love, it may begin to help. Also, if nothing else, there's always here, I guess, though sometimes the people here aren't the friendliest about what you want/need(No, I'm not talking about this post, everyone else, this is just me watching topics on here).

[De Geso]

7 hours ago, Harvey said:

I want to go to therapy....but parents are delaying that for no reason as my mom doesn't want me to start using drugs and whatnot.

I'm with your parents on the "don't use drugs" thing. Taking chemical substances won't help you get better in the long run, rather they'll make life more tolerable while they're in effect and you become dependent on them - that said, if you're desperate and you really think they will help, take them.

Therapy doesn't have to be about prescriptions though. Just talking to a therapist can be very calming and relaxing - I went to therapy myself for a while and it did help a lot.

[Arcanite]

1 hour ago, SoulWeaver said:

Maybe he did end up stereotyping meat-eaters and smokers…but who honestly gives a crap?

Such a comment is not only wrong but it's also technically against the code of conduct (warning against prejudicial comments). I give a crap because I feel offended~ I don't want anyone thinking I'm uncivilized because I eat meat, yknow. Others made a point that writing off those who do such things limits the amount of perspective friends you have.

There is no "Maybe he did". It's straight-up "he did" LOL

 

Regardless, I think the point is driven enough. 

1 hour ago, SoulWeaver said:

I think it's weird that the guy who makes it pretty much his job to troll people(me) is the only one wondering why we're all freaking out over him saying something that sounds like something I'd say on here.

If you're that type of guy you probably shouldn't be in Serious Discussion, jus' sayin'

[SullyMcGully]

1 hour ago, YouSquiddinMe said:

I'm with your parents on the "don't use drugs" thing. Taking chemical substances won't help you get better in the long run, rather they'll make life more tolerable while they're in effect and you become dependent on them - that said, if you're desperate and you really think they will help, take them.

Therapy doesn't have to be about prescriptions though. Just talking to a therapist can be very calming and relaxing - I went to therapy myself for a while and it did help a lot.

I agree with the above. Drugs don't fix loneliness, the only way to stop being lonely is to stop being alone. That, or you could try to learn how to deal with being alone a little better, which is probably more rewarding in the long run but take it from me: it can be tough getting there. 

Talking to a therapist or any other kind of trained counselor is pretty helpful. Then again, talking to anyone would be a huge step in the right direction, especially if you would be able to open up in some way or another. Focus on being likable, and then when people like you, they will be willing to listen to you. I was in your same position a few years ago. Then I decided to quit stressing out about it, learn to enjoy my own company, and try to be as genuinely kind and friendly in all of my interactions. It really helped me in the end.

Finally, I don't know if you're religious or not, but my faith ultimately helped me get through some of my worst slumps. That seems to be a pretty common experience for religious people, so if you are a part of a certain belief system, see if there's anything it can offer in the way of friendship. A good church or other faith-oriented community can be a great place to build relationships, and some religious teachings can provide solace for lonely souls.

[Rezzy]

1 hour ago, YouSquiddinMe said:

I'm with your parents on the "don't use drugs" thing. Taking chemical substances won't help you get better in the long run, rather they'll make life more tolerable while they're in effect and you become dependent on them - that said, if you're desperate and you really think they will help, take them.

Therapy doesn't have to be about prescriptions though. Just talking to a therapist can be very calming and relaxing - I went to therapy myself for a while and it did help a lot.

 

2 minutes ago, SullyMcGully said:

I agree with the above. Drugs don't fix loneliness, the only way to stop being lonely is to stop being alone. That, or you could try to learn how to deal with being alone a little better, which is probably more rewarding in the long run but take it from me: it can be tough getting there. 

Talking to a therapist or any other kind of trained counselor is pretty helpful. Then again, talking to anyone would be a huge step in the right direction, especially if you would be able to open up in some way or another. Focus on being likable, and then when people like you, they will be willing to listen to you. I was in your same position a few years ago. Then I decided to quit stressing out about it, learn to enjoy my own company, and try to be as genuinely kind and friendly in all of my interactions. It really helped me in the end.

Finally, I don't know if you're religious or not, but my faith ultimately helped me get through some of my worst slumps. That seems to be a pretty common experience for religious people, so if you are a part of a certain belief system, see if there's anything it can offer in the way of friendship. A good church or other faith-oriented community can be a great place to build relationships, and some religious teachings can provide solace for lonely souls.

If by drugs you mean medications, they serve a legitimate purpose and can be vital in helping people with mental disorders.  Some people have bona fide chemical imbalances that medication can help treat.

Medication alone cannot usually treat mental illness, but that's just like saying diabetics can't eat whatever they want just because they are taking their insulin.  There's nothing wrong with being "dependent" on medication.  They are like glasses.  They help you as long as you take them.

[Harvey]

Ok umm... a bit of something to say here.

When I said they eat meat, I wasn't exactly saying that its bad to them. Its just that they don't have a lot of manners when chewing that kind of stuff. Sorry for the misunderstanding there. I'm not against people who eat meat as I get that its their sort of thing.

@SoulWeaver @Natalie @Rezzy @Anacybele Sorry about the meat thing. Again I am not against you eating meat. Its just them not having much of manners.

Still they are kinda ill mannered in the sense that they rag at each other, have horrible hygine and just simply cannot obey basic rules in the office.

 

Edited November 14, 2017 by Harvey

[Rex Glacies]

15 minutes ago, Harvey said:

When I said they eat meat, I wasn't exactly saying that its bad to them. Its just that they don't have a lot of manners when chewing that kind of stuff.

As in... they eat with their mouth open? Which is certainly a bad habit, but nothing worth breaking a friendship with them.

As for the topic, loneliness is quite horrible. I can testify - after all, my closest friends are all on this site, and I can name all my real life friends on one finger hand. So being "friendless" is familiar to me, unfortunately, though I cannot relate to what appears to be bullying or being taken advantage of like you.

Anyway, I understand a few tips for keeping friends. The main problem is complacency. All relationships will be moving either forward or backward, so if you stop interacting with a companion for a while then the friendship will slowly start to die. Secondly, if you seek to have friends or keep old ones, you must be the one to make a move. Don't sit around waiting for something to happen or for someone else to do something - you must go out there and act.

Also, don't break a friendship because you disagree with them. My sister once lost a good friend because of ideological differences, but my sister was still willing to extend a friendly hand to mend the bond. And while they aren't quite as close as my sister might wish to be, they are now good friends again. Tolerance is always necessary.

Finally, some friendships are toxic. While I cannot say what exactly determines a toxic relationship, there will likely be times where you must break a friendship because they take advantage of you or something else.

I'm afraid that is all I can say. I am also lost in the art of making new friends, but hopefully you could possible contact some old ones you enjoyed being with.

10 hours ago, Harvey said:

To me, I always had this thought that friends are just enemies that don't want to kill you. And that phrase kinda worked out for me because in the end all the ones I accompanied with just abused me a whole lot in the end. 

But something else I can add is that this is not a good mindset. All the friendships I've seen are closer to "bother-from-another-mother."  Sure, there may be times of not-getting-along, but those are always the exception, not the rule.

1 hour ago, Rezzy said:

Medication alone cannot usually treat mental illness, but that's just like saying diabetics can't eat whatever they want just because they are taking their insulin.  There's nothing wrong with being "dependent" on medication.  They are like glasses.  They help you as long as you take them.

While I'm no expert, I might disagree here. Sure, cutting a weed down will help stop its spread and make it weaker, but the only way to get rid of it is to pull its root and eliminate the problem entirely.

[SoulWeaver]

58 minutes ago, Harvey said:

 

@SoulWeaver @Natalie @Rezzy @Anacybele Sorry about the meat thing. Again I am not against you eating meat. Its just them not having much of manners.

Dude, that was me messing around - it's what I do, not take things seriously ever(with some exceptions). Don't worry about it, bro, we're cool! I have better things to do than be offended by anything other than sluttily-dressed females being in video games anyways.

2 hours ago, Arcanite said:

If you're that type of guy you probably shouldn't be in Serious Discussion, jus' sayin'

I would like to point out this is maybe my third foray into the Serious Discussion section total - I usually stick to just clicking on whatever shows up on the Forum home page that looks interesting as well as shadowing the Unpopular Opinion and Heroes Spriting Threads because it's fun to watch everyone argue with each other and to see people make neat stuff. Also, sometimes it is actually the best thing to have a guy around who can see a Serious Discussion in a lighthearted way. Is this one of those times? Eh, maybe not, but that isn't going to make me treat anything any differently.

Also

2 hours ago, Arcanite said:

I give a crap because I feel offended~ I don't want anyone thinking I'm uncivilized because I eat meat, yknow.

I'm still confused as to why any of us should care if someone's opinion - someone on the internet, mind you, who does not know any of us in real life - of our level of civilization rests entirely on whether or not we eat meat. That's literally the third stupidest reason I've ever heard to consider someone uncivilized, and that kind of statement should NEVER be taken seriously, even from the most diehard vegan, who should also not be taken seriously if they're basing their overall judgement of the human race on dietary choices. As he clarified, there was a decent reason behind it - eating meat with your mouth open IS really disgusting, I'll give you all that, and that's a much better reason to call someone uncivilized than just the fact that you eat meat - but how does that let off everyone getting on his back before the clarification happened when we all thought he was being amusingly(at least to me because I find almost everything amusing) ridiculous?

[Harvey]

1 minute ago, Rex Glacies said:

As in... they eat with their mouth open? Which is certainly a bad habit, but nothing worth breaking a friendship with them.

 

Well yeah something like that and that they chew loudly and all. that point has got nothing to do with friendship but just their manners is my point. And I'll say it again that I'm not against anyone eating meat so my apologies for that part.

Now to address some of the questions you guys asked 

9 hours ago, Thane said:

This is not a healthy thought to have. Being mindful of the company you keep is one thing, thinking like this is another matter entirely. It borders on paranoia.

Well when you consider that every time I befriend someone, they find ways to make me say fowl languages and try to make fun off or to simply tell me to do stuff that they find it funny.

I get your point but..idk. It just isn't working any way around no matter how nice I am to them.

9 hours ago, Thane said:

I'm confused though, you work, yet your mother has to sanction you going to therapy? 

See the thing is...in my hometown, its kinda a thing where adults will just stick with their parents once they get a job. It ruins the level of independence yes but when you consider that pay isn't good, some people don't have any other choice but to stay with their parents and I'm one of them. All I can do is wait for a time where I can finally go to US because there are more opportunities there.

 

Basically, she's paranoid of what a therapist can do. To be frank, I did go to therapy once but all that she said was to wait five years for now and do some workouts. I tried to do workouts for 2 years but as time passed, there's not enough time for me to do this while working so I stopped. I have been trying to beg my parents to let me use a cycle but they are again too scared that roads are dangerous and whatnot so they prefer me to either walk all the way to my office or for them to just drop me to office and I go back to home by a 45 minute walk.

10 hours ago, Johann said:

What are you into other than games? 

 

Well I like comics, movies, TV shows, a bit of bird watching, anime and general curiosity in life itself. I will admit that I spend more into games than the others simply because its to help cope up my loneliness...that and to improve on my bug testing skills.

 

[Arcanite]

13 minutes ago, SoulWeaver said:

and that kind of statement should NEVER be taken seriously

>he says in serious discussion

Things said here are meant to be discussed in a serious fashion. If this was FFtF or something it'd be a different story.

 

 

@Harvey I see what you mean now, so I'm sorry for misunderstanding what you're saying. My apologies.

Edited November 14, 2017 by Arcanite

[Johann]

2 minutes ago, Harvey said:

Well I like comics, movies, TV shows, a bit of bird watching, anime and general curiosity in life itself. I will admit that I spend more into games than the others simply because its to help cope up my loneliness...that and to improve on my bug testing skills.

To me, this suggests you're open to trying new things. Not sure what kind of availability there is for such things in your area, but checking out museums or galleries of various kinds could be a good start. Bear in mind that in any legitimate museum or gallery, whatever is on display was no doubt created or discovered by someone with strong curiosities of their own, and the same can be said of any earnest museum/gallery-goer. Also keep note that your approach shouldn't be to force interaction with others, but to go for your own sake and soak in your surroundings. There are many other people out there just as lonely as you, and just as curious to discover people, art, etc. If you find genuine interest in something there, then you're most likely to have a meaningful connection with someone else having a similar experience.

[Rezzy]

7 hours ago, Rex Glacies said:

 

While I'm no expert, I might disagree here. Sure, cutting a weed down will help stop its spread and make it weaker, but the only way to get rid of it is to pull its root and eliminate the problem entirely.

I am an expert, in so much as I have full prescribing power and a DEA license.  There are several mental illnesses where the chief treatment is medication.

[Bartozio]

8 hours ago, Harvey said:

Well when you consider that every time I befriend someone, they find ways to make me say fowl languages and try to make fun off or to simply tell me to do stuff that they find it funny.

I get your point but..idk. It just isn't working any way around no matter how nice I am to them.

I'm not really an expert on making friends myself, but messing around with friends seems normal to me.

Like, my friends often make fun of me for not using foul language and not drinking alcohol, but I also make fun of them for other stuff, so it evens out in the end. Friends you get close to will generally joke around with you at least a little, and not all jokes are made in bad faith. Some are of course, and I don't know exactly what people did in your case, but I wanted to say this anyway just in case.

8 hours ago, Harvey said:

Basically, she's paranoid of what a therapist can do. To be frank, I did go to therapy once but all that she said was to wait five years for now and do some workouts. I tried to do workouts for 2 years but as time passed, there's not enough time for me to do this while working so I stopped. I have been trying to beg my parents to let me use a cycle but they are again too scared that roads are dangerous and whatnot so they prefer me to either walk all the way to my office or for them to just drop me to office and I go back to home by a 45 minute walk.

 

Well I like comics, movies, TV shows, a bit of bird watching, anime and general curiosity in life itself. I will admit that I spend more into games than the others simply because its to help cope up my loneliness...that and to improve on my bug testing skills.

 

well, at least walking is also physical exercise to some extend...

I feel like your mom is very overprotective, which isn't always a terrible thing, but you should really learn to push your own will a bit more in that case. I also don't really understand why your mother is paranoid of a therapist, because it's not like they can actually force you to take medicine or anything. If she's that scared of it, you could always see if it's possible for her to accompany you during sessions (if you don't mind that). Also, if a therapist's advice/prescription doesn't seem to work out, do point that out to them. They will be right most of the time, but in the end they are still human, so they will also be wrong every once in a while.

Apart from that, I agree with has been said earlier about looking for places to meet people. For instance, if there's a sport you enjoy, see if there's a club for that.

Also @Arcanite, are you seriously talking shit about people for disliking others for eating meat, but then disliking people for smoking yourself? I mean, I don't smoke myself and I never considered it, but this is really not making any sense to me...

Also, how do robots even eat meat?

[SullyMcGully]

2 hours ago, Rezzy said:

I am an expert, in so much as I have full prescribing power and a DEA license.  There are several mental illnesses where the chief treatment is medication.

I get that. And if @Harvey has a mental illness, he should look into medication. But loneliness isn't a mental illness. It can be caused by a mental illness, or just by other circumstances. I know a few experts too, and they've told me truly horrifying stories of people who turned into living zombies from taking drugs they didn't need.

[Anacybele]

17 hours ago, Rezzy said:

I have asthma

You have asthma, Rezzy? Huh, didn't know that. I hope you keep an eye on your kids' breathing and all in this case, as I think that can be passed down genetically.

As for why I took Harvey's meat comment seriously, how about this. I've been made fun of and disliked for my disability. My fucking disability. I didn't choose to have Asperger's or a speech impairment. They don't make me a bad person. I don't want to be disliked for eating meat either. I don't even eat it much. I even refuse to eat certain animals because I find them too precious. Deer, duck, lamb, and rabbit are among those. I only eat a little beef, pork, and chicken on occasion. That is not ill-mannered or uncivilized at all.

I also don't smoke btw. I technically do drink... But not beer or anything. Just a wine cooler or something like that on occasion and those have very little alcohol.

Edited November 14, 2017 by Anacybele

[Harvey]

9 minutes ago, SullyMcGully said:

I get that. And if @Harvey has a mental illness, he should look into medication. But loneliness isn't a mental illness. It can be caused by a mental illness, or just by other circumstances. I know a few experts too, and they've told me truly horrifying stories of people who turned into living zombies from taking drugs they didn't need.

I don't have mental illness per see. But I do have Asperger syndrome which kinda explains my lack of social activities to some extent. They also say that the ones who have Asperger/autism can't understand life better than others which can also explain my odd character to some extent.

24 minutes ago, Bartozio said:

I feel like your mom is very overprotective, which isn't always a terrible thing, but you should really learn to push your own will a bit more in that case. I also don't really understand why your mother is paranoid of a therapist, because it's not like they can actually force you to take medicine or anything. If she's that scared of it, you could always see if it's possible for her to accompany you during sessions (if you don't mind that). Also, if a therapist's advice/prescription doesn't seem to work out, do point that out to them. They will be right most of the time, but in the end they are still human, so they will also be wrong every once in a while.

Yeah my mom is kinda like that...but she's also a bit hypocritical. She complains that we need to lose weight and I say that the only way to do so is either through swimming courses or cycling both of which she is completely against at even during the weekends. I really don't know what to say to her. Its as if she enjoys doing this to me which affects my self-esteem mostly. Even my dad isn't like this one bit despite him having other problems that I have to deal with.

But like I said, I did go to therapy once and she said to wait until five years and see what happens after I get enough experience. I did the gym and the idea of it was to develop hormones which are suppose to make me happy and sort but that didn't work after 2 years and they still complained at the price and all so really...it just couldn't happen.

But I agree that something has to be done just for my benefit alone.

 

[SoulWeaver]

2 hours ago, Bartozio said:

Also, how do robots even eat meat?

You don't want to know, man. Just trust me on this. Also, technically disliking people for smoking isn't all that ridiculous considering the damage smoking does to people's bodies. Perhaps deciding whether or not someone is civilized or worth your time based entirely on whether they smoke or not is a touch overboard, but that's part of what's so amazing about life - we can all be as ridiculous as we want(to an extent). Also, basing your opinion of someone on whether they smoke/drink/etc. is a little more relatable than the meat idea.

12 hours ago, Arcanite said:

>he says in serious discussion

Things said here are meant to be discussed in a serious fashion. If this was FFtF or something it'd be a different story.

…This IS still an internet forum. There will be people who say ridiculous things in a serious discussion almost everywhere you go - American Politics and News are actually excellent examples when you consider some of the things that get coverage. I am glad that apparently Serenes has managed to avoid that for the most part(I mean, I can't say completely because I'm still posting on here), but even here it's going to happen.