JimmyBeans

How important is abstinence?

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10 minutes ago, Excellen Browning said:

I'm not saying "boys need a father figure", I'm saying kids in general should be kept from abandonment, and from sole custody by one parent unless there's some good reasons to make it so.

I’m not disagreeing with this? And I don’t see that anything I quoted is arguing against this.

And the other thing I'm saying is that the author of that article should adress the actual issue and not do some cherry picking and declaring it all not as bad "as often portrayed".

Well, yes, it’s not really an article so much as it is an interview, and presumably the film they’re promoting goes into more detail.

I don’t think anyone disagrees that sole custody isn’t ideal and no judge is going to be awarding sole custody lightly. Likewise all the people I know who are sole custodians would LOVE to have a partner to split parenting duties with. It’s not exactly fun.

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12 hours ago, Res said:

 good father figure > no father figure  > bad father figure.

I'd agree with that.

On 3/20/2018 at 4:03 PM, Jotari said:

I gather in cases where both parents are presented as equally capeable, the woman is practially always going to get the kids though, right?

 

13 hours ago, Excellen Browning said:

 if dad wants shared custody, he can expect to get it.

 

...there will be an award of joint legal custody. That is to say; both parents will have parental rights and shared parenting time.

But for the purposes of school attendance and official records, one parent will be designated parent of primary residence (i.e. "physical custodian"). That is the parent the child will live with the majority of the time and who will be the child's primary caretaker. (the non-custodial parent may have the child on weekends, holidays, school breaks, w/e)

And then the parent of alternate residence pays child-support to the parent of primary residence.

The legal standard for choosing a parent of primary residence, on its face, is gender neutral. However--all other factors being equal--the Court will select the parent who was primarily responsible for doing things like getting the child ready for school in the morning,  shopping for food and clothes and school supplies, preparing meals, taking the child to doctors appointments, taking the child to extra curricular activities etc. 

...so if one parent had a busy career and was working 55 hours a week to economically support the family, and the other parent was staying at home and providing childcare. The award of primary residence would go to the parent who stayed at home providing childcare. 

Realistically--societal expectations and gender roles being what they are--that means the woman gets physical custody most of the time.

If however you had a relationship where the woman was employed full time as say--a human resources manager. And she was working all the time and pulling in six figures + a corporate pension. While the man worked a few hours a week as a part-time teacher's aide during school hours making like $600 per month, but otherwise kept his calendar clear to provide the services of a stay-at-home-dad.

...then the man, in that scenario, would in all due likelihood be designated parent of primary residence, in the event that the parent's split. And the woman would pay child support to the man.

 

Edited by Shoblongoo

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With birth control and such, not important at all.  Just make sure to use it.  Besides unwanted/unexpected pregnancies, it also helps prevent the many STDs going around. 

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http://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/383996-judge-rules-trump-administrations-cut-to-teen-pregnancy-prevention-program

"A federal judge in DC ruled Thursday that the Trump administration's cuts to the Teen Pregnancy Prevention Program (TPPP) were unlawful."

"HHS officials within the Trump administration have pushed for an emphasis on abstinence education for teens, instead." 

"The court’s decision confirms that HHS must administer the Teen Pregnancy Prevention Program in accordance with the agency’s own regulations and the requirement of reasoned decision-making." 

"HHS did not respond to a request for comment Thursday."
____________


REASONED-DECISION MAKING:  1
TRUMP HHS:  [Insert Arbitrarily Huge Number Here--Its Not Like Facts Matter] 

Edited by Shoblongoo

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1 hour ago, Shoblongoo said:

*snip*

"But it has long been criticized by conservatives for its focus on comprehensive sex education, which can include teaching about safe sex and abstinence." - (Referring to the TPP program created under Obama)

First off, I'm not even surprised honestly. I find this really funny, actually.

Second off, I know this isn't new or anything nor directly related to the article you shared, but I still (sarcastically) appreciate the fact that Obama's program has been criticized for being comprehensive. Like, god forbid people gain more knowledge on important matters such as having safe sex. It baffles me that that has ever been a criticism or considered a valid one.

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Seems to be the logic people are working under with abstinence only education.

 

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Having sex before marriage goes against my religious and rational views.  It can result in a child even if birth control is used because conventional birth control isn't 100% effective.  Various sexual activities can also lead to pregnancy if sperm makes its' way to the right place which can catch some couples with their guard down.  There is also a list of STDs to worry about since some of them stick with the victim for life or require a lot of work to remove.  The couple involved bring their own problems into the mix.  There are those who want to have sex for frivolous reasons and have no plans on staying with their partner once they get bored or something goes wrong, predators that want to find someone who can easily be manipulated for sex or dragged into an abusive relationship, young couples who are living with their parents and wouldn't be ready for a kid of their own, and so on.

A good marriage requires commitment between the people involved.  The couple dedicate themselves to each other for life and take care of each other along with any children they might have, be it intentional or accidental, providing a sense of security.  A child born during this marriage has two people they can depend on to raise them and show them how a proper adult male and female should behave.  If one dies the other can continue to take care of them and if both die there is a wide range of potential caretakers available from either parent's family trees that might be able to adopt them.  The couple won't agree on everything but they can civilly solve their problems and even grow by overcoming these trials.

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47 minutes ago, Sarracenia said:

Various sexual activities can also lead to pregnancy if sperm makes its' way to the right place which can catch some couples with their guard down. 

...that awkward moment when you flip from "thank god its not that easy" to "I wish it was that easy. I really do."

Life is weird :/:

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23 hours ago, Sarracenia said:

A child born during this marriage has two people they can depend on to raise them and show them how a proper adult male and female should behave.

Hmm, you may want to be careful with how you choose to word things.

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On 4/27/2018 at 7:14 AM, Sarracenia said:

A child born during this marriage has two people they can depend on to raise them and show them how a proper adult male and female should behave.

So, uh, where does this leave kids with divorced parents?

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9 hours ago, eclipse said:

So, uh, where does this leave kids with divorced parents?

Or orphans. Can't forget those orphans.

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