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Things you're no longer allowed to do in Lyn/Eliwood/Hector's army


Corrobin
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3 hours ago, SMEDIA said:

42: Stop trying to ship Lyn and Rath they don’t have any chemistry.

Fixed that for you via revision.

On that note, stop trying to ship Hector and Florina.

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14 minutes ago, Just call me AL said:

Fixed that for you via revision.

On that note, stop trying to ship Hector and Florina.

I beg to differ; of all of Lyn’s pairings, here’s with Rath makes the most sense.

Also, what’s wrong with shipping Hector and Florina? Florina being Liliana’s mother makes the most sense to me (though I haven’t played FE6 yet).

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49: Any gossipy discussions of who is going out with who while on duty will be required to take a day helping Merlinus to sort out the convoy and clean the corral.

50: This also applies to enforcing prudishness on the whole camp. You know who you are, you scoundrels.

51: Sain is barred from adding onto any given rule.

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52)  "The while on duty" provision of Rule #49 does not prohibit being a gossipy bitch while on-the-march or at camp, and shall be strictly construed to apply only to active battlefield situations. (Basically--the purpose of the rule is that we don't want you horny little shits preoccupied with your shipping when you should be focused on not dying.)

53) You know what--remove the "of who is going out with who" qualifier. All extraneous gossip on the battlefield is banned; save if for the barracks. If you've got time to ask Rebecca whats going on back at the village, you have time to fire off another arrow. (This is a bloody army people; not Great Times Day Camp)

54) Fire Emblem 7's Sly Marbo Hawkeye is to use his War Cry in every battle, because its fucking terrifying and it makes the enemy shit their collective pants.     


55) Whenever possible, warn nearby green units before Hawkeye uses his War Cry. To avoid collateral shitting of pants.  

56) The CON system is not to be used as a literal dick measuring contest. No matter how accurately everything syncs up. (but for real Hawkeye--we're all very impressed. Now put it away before it kills someone and give us a shout)

Edited by Shoblongoo
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  • 1 month later...
  • 2 weeks later...

59: just to screw with them, encourage Serra to stay as close to possible as Erk and Matthew at all times

60: no trying to look up Priscilla’s skirt. She doesn’t actually like that, even if she seems to want it.

61:because Nino always wants to do her best, order her to always cook, clean, do the army’s laundry, etc... in a cute little French maid outfit. She’ll do it too.

62: Farina is greedy as fuck; don’t give her any more money, no matter how good she does in combat.

63: if Serra’s annoyingness annoys you too much, send her to the front lines to take a few hits. If she doesn’t stop after that, then send her to the front lines to die. No one will miss her.

64: order Sain to stop watching Pent and Louise try to have a baby. They deserve it.

65: order Matthew or Legault to steal all of Sain’s pornography. Tell him he’ll it back if he starts treating women with respect.

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23 minutes ago, SMEDIA said:

59: just to screw with them, encourage Serra to stay as close to possible as Erk and Matthew at all times

61:because Nino always wants to do her best, order her to always cook, clean, do the army’s laundry, etc... in a cute little French maid outfit. She’ll do it too.

63: if Serra’s annoyingness annoys you too much, send her to the front lines to take a few hits. If she doesn’t stop after that, then send her to the front lines to die. No one will miss her.

 

67. Rules 59, 61, and 63 are now null and void 

68. Serra, Erk, Matthew, Sain  are banned from making rules

69. Sain is to be punished from makin rule 61 by being locked in a closed room with Jaffar 

Edited by DisobeyedCargo
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70: as special reward if Nils nearly gets killed in combat, allow him to publicly molest any girl in the army once.

71: only put women near Lyn in combat. Her outfit is a little too distracting for the men.

72: order Sain to stop bugging the fortune teller trying to find out which women will sleep with him.

73:  give Raven and Lucius their privacy. They should be together.

74: if Serra doesn’t stop being annoying, order her to wear a slightly sexier outfit for the next battle. If she persists, change the outfit to something even more revealing. If she ends up naked and still doesn’t change, then allow Sain to have his way with her for a night.

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77: If Neimi were somehow teleported into this game and could thus never see Colm again, let her cry about it for awhile, then invite her to join the army if she desires.

78:cut off Serra’s tongue, but allow her to keep it for reasons.

79:much to Sain’s dismay, order Lyn to start wearing underwear.

80: since I consider Eliwood to be a very weak lord, get him to start working out more.

81:if one of the wyvern riders wyverns does something destructive, order its owner to publicly go down on it as punishment.

82: if Sain doesn’t start to respect women make him publicly make out with Kent until he stops.

83: if one of the girls does something fucked up, punish her by making her sit in the snow in lingerie until she catches pneumonia.

84:because Nino always wants to do her best, make her carry around all of the magic users tomes, including Canas’s.

85: much to everyone’s joy, order the Pegasus knight sisters to share a passionate three way kiss.

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88: because Nino always wants to do her best, if she (somehow) does good in combat one day, give her a special reward where she gets to pick any boy/man in the army and have him wrestle with her/tickle her the way some brothers and sisters do.

89: because we can’t really tell how good of a body Ninian has, order her to wear something more revealing.

90: if Sain ever does anything extraordinarily fucked up, punish him by cutting off his testicles.

91: to encourage Florina to toughen up a little bit, make her dance around in lingerie in front of the men. She’ll be very shy doing that at first, but when she sees that the guys like that, maybe it will boost her confidence a little.

92: go ahead and ask Nils if him and Ninian are incestual. I really want to know.

93: this might compromise him offensively, but until Guy gets better HP and Def, make him wear armor.

94: as a special reward for Rebecca if she does good in combat one day, order her to have an archery contest with Louise. The reward comes from having Louise throw the contest. Louise is so nice, she might do it.

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9 minutes ago, SMEDIA said:

89: because we can’t really tell how good of a body Ninian has, order her to wear something more revealing.

92: go ahead and ask Nils if him and Ninian are incestual. I really want to know.

95: Sain is still banned from making rules. Ninian, please don't feel pressured to do things you don't want to do.

Edited by The_antithesis
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96: if Serra risks her life to heal someone in combat one day, go ahead and reward her by getting a child slave to be her vassal for a day.

97: because Matthew really really hates Jaffar, allow him to get into a fist fight with Jaffar once.

98: if Nino doesn’t do her best one day, punish her by having Matthew or Legualt steal all her underwear. Sain will like that.

99: if Guy does something that deserves to be punished one day, make him get on a horse and have an archery contest between him and Rath. The results will be laughable.

100: since I consider it a very nice gesture of Rath’s to just give Lyn 5000 gold, go ahead and pay him back double after the game.

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101. Any more rules involving pedophilia or lewd requirements will be punished by removal from the army SAIN

102. Whoever stole Nino's underwear is to give it back now 

103. Free the child slaves 

104. Matthew and Jaffar are to stay far, far away form each other 

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105: if a female member of the army is somehow caught with too much leg, armpit, or pubic hair, punish her by making her shave/wax naked in front of everyone.

106: go ahead and give every Brave bow to Rath. I’m a really big fan of doing that.

107: if Rebecca fucks up and misses her shot in combat, punish her by letting a male slap her ass.

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111: since I’m a little curious to see who would win, order Karel and Karla to have a duel to the death. Karla gets to pick any sword she wants, but Karel has to use a wooden sword.

112: since I consider her hair style silly and want her to change it, order everyone in the army to pick on Lyn by pulling the back of her ponytail.

113: order Matthew to tear up that oath paper he forced Guy to sign. Guy did turn coat for him after all.

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114: Everytime Serra has to be informed that she is banned from making rules she is to be put on cleaning duty for the next week.

115:Anyone found to be disobeying any rules will have to be Serra's vassal for a day.

 

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116:Rule 101 was NOT an invitation to just throw out pervy ideas and it still isn't. From now on, anyone caught adding any rule of this nature will be subjected to a punishment which is fitting and ironic, based on the person trying to instate the rule and the rule they were trying to instate. Turns out Mark has a messed up mind, and he's already come up with plenty of ideas.

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On 7/18/2018 at 12:41 PM, DisobeyedCargo said:

101. Any more rules involving pedophilia or lewd requirements will be punished by removal from the army SAIN

101a. Well, it turns out that we can't lose anymore soldiers so instead;From now on, anyone trying to instate a rule of an explicitly lewd nature will be punished in a fitting and ironic way, based on the person attempting to instate the rule and the rule they were trying to instate. Turns out, Mark has one messed up imagination, and he's already come up with plenty of ideas.

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