Jump to content

Men of Serenes Forest!


Ronnie
 Share

Recommended Posts

I'm pretty sure you didn't pick that up from de Sade. XD

There was this one incident where I was talking to a customer about her cable tv/internet bill over the phone. I remember having taken a painkiller (NSAID) before reporting to work as I had my wisdom teeth extracted. Needless to say, I was out of it.

--------------

Me: The balance I'm seeing here is $120.55. It's from the August 25-September 24th bill cycle.

Customer: Okay. can you take a look at this charge of $35?

Me: (spacing out) Sure thing... let's see here... (thoughts drifting some more, while taking a look at the bill) Well, it's about this adventure you went in. You were imprisoned in a tower, and escaped with a bunch of stragglers and made off in a ship...

Customer: Was that a movie I rented or something?

Me: (snapping out) Wait a minute...yes it was.

Customer: Oh. It was a diversion, I guess.

Me: (nervous laugh) Was it good? (trying to go along)

Customer: Now I remember why I never bothered to see it on the big screen.

Me: Oh, I guess it was that bad huh?

Customer: (guffaws) Yes, yes. Oh well, it's right there, and I gotta settle it. Fair's fair.

--------------

I processed the payment, ended the call, and asked for the rest of the day off. I got it. My supervisor didn't think I could make the entire day hopped up on Celebrex. I didn't, either.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 908
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Well I'm not sure if this counts, but 

*in music class, with a sub teacher*

Teacher: Alright class do the work left up on the board about Spring the Four seasons by Vivaldi*puts on spring the four seasons, and sits down*

Me: Hah easy *finishes work with like 25 mins left of class*

Guy beside me: Teach I don't understand this part. 

*teacher comes over*

Me:*tries to look busy, staring at page with hand holding head, falls asleep*

Guy beside me: *shakes me awake, teachers gone 5minutes left of class*

Me*Removes hand from head, can still feel hand*

Guy: Uh bro there's a hand on your face

Me*embarrased, looks around, sees guy is on a different page, turns own page, there was still more to the exercise, hand imprint remains on face for 10 minutes*

*facepalm*(literally)

Edited by Pengaius
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello Despair, my familiar friend, how are you today?

……

……

Oh, well, we might not get a shot at the big prize, but at least we get a chance for revenge!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/4/2018 at 11:43 PM, Interdimensional Observer said:

Also, an inquiry of mine own, who here likes the beach?

It's okay. I don't really swim much there, mostly because I'm not good at getting used to cold water quickly. That, and I wear a swimming shirt, as my awesome back scar would probably scare as many people as it would impress, and that can get surprisingly heavy when wet.  I'm also not much of a swimmer in general (being a person who breathes largely through their nose probably had a hand there).

That being said said, it is a nice place to just walk around and read, especially when some beaches have several areas to explore. That, and climbing up sand dunes and then rolling down them is fun. Even went sand boarding twice (it's like snowboarding, except less cold and more painful when you wipe out).

I don't like how hard it is to get rid of sand, though. It's annoying when some accidentally gets inside the book I was reading, or when my hands get sandy when trying to eat a snack. And it gets inside a car, expect it to stay there for some time.

On 7/4/2018 at 11:43 PM, Interdimensional Observer said:

An opposite weather situation, snow, is the same way with me. I love the falling and the sparkling pure white blanket that endures for the first two days, but the shoveling, cold, cabin fever, ice, and wetness of walking through it are all disagreeable.

Don't hate snow, but I don't love it either. Being in the state that has extremely random weather probably contributed to that attitude. There were some years where it was sunny on Christmas, and there was snow in March. Some days it rained, and the next day it snowed, and the next day was sunny and melted it all away. And the all the schools I went to had a "deal with it" attitude, so even when we got several feet of snow in a single day, we still had to go (not that I minded, as it lead to no added days later down the line, meaning that summer came earlier).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 hours ago, XRay said:

Got any embarrassing stories? I kind of do.

From work? Not really. I mean, there was a time I when I accidentally wasted ten minutes looking through a strategy guide for a James Bond game, and another ten minutes looking at a book that held behind the scene information on Farscape, but I quickly made up for that lost time when I got back to work after realizing I got distracted Considering my habit of reading, that situation could have been much worse.

Although something work-related that was interesting happened last Monday, actually. I missed the day due to a doctors appointment in another state as an annual check-up for my back surgery that happened years back (Side note: I now longer have to visit them unless my back causes me pain, which it hasn't done in years. YAY!). I had informed the company and managers way ahead of time in all the proper manners, so they knew about this.
Apparently my absence actually slowed down production to the point that they had to combine teams in order to get the work order done, and they had to send the rest of the workers to a different plant! I can't tell if the company didn't properly plan around having one less worker, if I contribute more to the team effort than I think I do, if it was simply a day they needed a full team and didn't have one, or if it was something else entirely.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, Karimlan said:

Me: The balance I'm seeing here is $120.55. It's from the August 25-September 24th bill cycle.

Customer: Okay. can you take a look at this charge of $35?

Me: (spacing out) Sure thing... let's see here... (thoughts drifting some more, while taking a look at the bill) Well, it's about this adventure you went in. You were imprisoned in a tower, and escaped with a bunch of stragglers and made off in a ship...

Customer: Was that a movie I rented or something?

Me: (snapping out) Wait a minute...yes it was.

Customer: Oh. It was a diversion, I guess.

Me: (nervous laugh) Was it good? (trying to go along)

Customer: Now I remember why I never bothered to see it on the big screen.

Me: Oh, I guess it was that bad huh?

Customer: (guffaws) Yes, yes. Oh well, it's right there, and I gotta settle it. Fair's fair.

--------------

I processed the payment, ended the call, and asked for the rest of the day off. I got it. My supervisor didn't think I could make the entire day hopped up on Celebrex. I didn't, either.

so you cheated a customer out of $35 or you were just really high and explained it poorly and they accepted it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Belisarius: There really was a video-on-demand charge on the bill. I was definitely not thinking straight because of the painkillers, but I definitely saw the VOD item.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/11/2018 at 7:17 AM, Karimlan said:

Customer: Okay. can you take a look at this charge of $35?

When did rental movies get that expensive? I think the customer could have just bought the physical movie and still have enough change for popcorn and drinks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am pooping and I am bored. What do you guys do when you are sitting on the ivory throne?

I go on my phone and surf the web. I usually visit Serenes Forest, play Heroes, play Egg Inc., and read the news.

If I am not surfing the web, then I text my friends and tell them I am pooping.  If we are pooping at the same time, I meditate a little and enjoy the harmonic resonance of pooping at the same time to increase our bromance.

Instead of my phone, sometimes I bring my 3DS with me and have that entertain me instead.

I think this is just me, but I feel super uncomfortable if I am wearing anything while pooping, so I go au naturel.

If my puss misses me and scratches the door, I let her in and I pet her vigorously. Sometimes I set her on my lap and snort smell her fur and get a little high ASMR. I also take the opportunity to inspect her butthole and then clean it with wet wipes if there are still some residue there.

How do you end your business? I wipe with toilet paper and then go in the shower for a more thorough clean. If I am in public, I augment toilet paper with hand sanitizer since I cannot wash my butthole.

Cool, I am done pooping now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 hours ago, XRay said:

I am pooping and I am bored. What do you guys do when you are sitting on the ivory throne?

I go on my phone and surf the web. I usually visit Serenes Forest, play Heroes, play Egg Inc., and read the news.

If I am not surfing the web, then I text my friends and tell them I am pooping.  If we are pooping at the same time, I meditate a little and enjoy the harmonic resonance of pooping at the same time to increase our bromance.

Instead of my phone, sometimes I bring my 3DS with me and have that entertain me instead.

I think this is just me, but I feel super uncomfortable if I am wearing anything while pooping, so I go au naturel.

If my puss misses me and scratches the door, I let her in and I pet her vigorously. Sometimes I set her on my lap and snort smell her fur and get a little high ASMR. I also take the opportunity to inspect her butthole and then clean it with wet wipes if there are still some residue there.

How do you end your business? I wipe with toilet paper and then go in the shower for a more thorough clean. If I am in public, I augment toilet paper with hand sanitizer since I cannot wash my butthole.

Cool, I am done pooping now.

Umm, I usually just go as I am regardless of what I'm holding or wearing and try to focus on the job, so to speak but I'll play on my phone if it's gonna be a big one. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 hours ago, XRay said:

I am pooping and I am bored. What do you guys do when you are sitting on the ivory throne?

I go on my phone and surf the web. I usually visit Serenes Forest, play Heroes, play Egg Inc., and read the news.

If I am not surfing the web, then I text my friends and tell them I am pooping.  If we are pooping at the same time, I meditate a little and enjoy the harmonic resonance of pooping at the same time to increase our bromance.

Instead of my phone, sometimes I bring my 3DS with me and have that entertain me instead.

I think this is just me, but I feel super uncomfortable if I am wearing anything while pooping, so I go au naturel.

If my puss misses me and scratches the door, I let her in and I pet her vigorously. Sometimes I set her on my lap and snort smell her fur and get a little high ASMR. I also take the opportunity to inspect her butthole and then clean it with wet wipes if there are still some residue there.

How do you end your business? I wipe with toilet paper and then go in the shower for a more thorough clean. If I am in public, I augment toilet paper with hand sanitizer since I cannot wash my butthole.

Cool, I am done pooping now.

Umm, I usually just go as I am regardless of what I'm holding or wearing and try to focus on the job, so to speak but I'll play on my phone if it's gonna be a big one. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Pengaius said:

Umm, I usually just go as I am regardless of what I'm holding or wearing and try to focus on the job, so to speak but I'll play on my phone if it's gonna be a big one. 

Mine are almost always big. I usually spend about twenty to thirty minutes, so I like to have some entertainment. I can rush the business, but that means I usually have to go back to the bathroom a second time a while later since not everything came out the first time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, XRay said:

Mine are almost always big. I usually spend about twenty to thirty minutes, so I like to have some entertainment. I can rush the business, but that means I usually have to go back to the bathroom a second time a while later since not everything came out the first time.

I know this is an fftf thread, but this is TMI 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Pengaius said:

I know this is an fftf thread, but this is TMI 

Alright. I will just stick with the entertainment part.

— — — — — — —

I also go on Love Meow and read stories about rescuing cats and kittens, although they only put out like 1 or 2 stories per day, so it does not take long for me to finish reading all the recent articles.

Has anyone snacked while in the bathroom? I see that in anime and manga sometimes where men bring in all their entertainment (newspapers, food, books, games, music, etc.) into the bathroom and just sit there all day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/9/2018 at 4:45 PM, Shoblongoo said:

Never heard of that one.

But I don't use drink energy drinks and absolutely refuse to use Red Bull (or anything like it) as mixer.

I don't recommend doing them as a mixer since it really fucks your tolerance from what I've experienced.

but yeah, I did it since it was cheap.

On 7/11/2018 at 9:31 AM, Shoblongoo said:

LEAD ATTORNEY:  *reviews documents* "This isn't looking good for our guy. He committed an exceptionally violent sexual assault--we're gonna have to plead him to something." 

ME: *reviews documents* "It says here she screamed no and told him to stop and was cryingand he kept going. But he stopped immediately when she said red."

LEAD ATTORNEY: So?

ME: "Red is a BDSM safe-word. If this was a consensual BDSM session, then he would not have known consent was revoked until she said the safe-word. He could have reasonably believed that everything before that was part of a rape-fantasy roleplay. He stopped as soon as she said the safe-word; no sexual assault." 

LEAD ATTORNEY: "Okkkkayyyyyyyy. But then we would first have to prove that this was a consensual BDSM session. There's no evidence for that."

ME: "The evidence is that she knew to say red to make him stop. That's not something you would just randomly say if you were being raped. Why would she say red if SHE didn't know this was a BDSM session?   

LEAD ATTORNEY: "Huh. That's a good argument. Yeah--we can use that."

ME:  "..."

LEAD ATTORNEY: "..."

ME: "..."

LEAD ATTORNEY: "Why do you know that?"

ME:  :/::/::/:

 

oh sure the lead attorney's gonna question why YOU would know it.

but the set of circumstances that would lead up to that case sounds like one hell of a story tbh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, Infinite Dreams said:

Xray, I love you.

Thanks. I am not sure if that is a good idea though. After I use the bathroom, my friends describe it as a war zone after a massive chemical attack.

3 hours ago, Tediz64 said:

You have some seriously questionable tastes there @Infinite Dreams lol

We all have questionable tastes and habits. I lock my car windows so I can hear the music of despair from my friends when anyone farts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes is a long, painful shit of the I'm gonna massacre that bowl variety.
20 minutes is a war crime.

30 minutes is--fuck. What even is that???

 

@XRay in the bathroom be like:

Image result for cartman bathroom gif

Edited by Shoblongoo
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

30 minutes is--fuck. What even is that???

Costco's frozen pizza.

Ate that stuff twice at my friend's house. Let us just say that spraying Febreeze after the ordeal only made it worse.

19 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

@XRay in the bathroom be like:

Image result for cartman bathroom gif

I like to be rough with my toilets and give them tough love.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I think I'd like to change topic,

So what's your favourite dinner, I like Spaghetti Bolognaise (and I find it weird that it's a beef dish)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...