Is it unhealthy to be friendless and/or antisocial at all?

[Water Mage]

 

9 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

...What? Now you're making even less sense. Sure, sometimes we'll feel sad or upset, as life has its ups and downs. But I basically said that nothing good is coming out of trying to make friends or interact with people a lot. And that is certainly not a good thing.

Nothing good is coming out of trying to make friends or interact with people? Keep trying. Do you how many people live in this world? There could be someone you end getting along with. Of course there equal chances of this not happening. You might search for a friend your entire life and you may never find one. But that’s okay, because at least you searched. 

Edited April 12, 2018 by Water Mage

[Sunwoo]

8 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

I didn't mean that statement THAT literally either. Obviously, some people are pieces of shit that should be locked up forever. I'm not really talking about those. I mean anybody else, really.

You don't even have to be someone so horrible to deserve being locked up forever. There are plenty of people who commit no crime but are just wholly unpleasant people who don't really care about anyone else. And they're not fine the way they are.

[Anacybele]

2 minutes ago, Water Mage said:

Nothing good is coming out of trying to make friends or interact with people? Keep trying. Do you how many people live in this world? There could someone you end getting along with. Of course there equal chances of this not happening. You might search for a friend your entire and you may never find one. But that’s okay, because at least you searched. 

I already decided not to keep trying though.

The point is whether or not it's unhealthy to have no friends and not want much interaction with people. Not how I try or not try to make friends.

Edited April 12, 2018 by Anacybele

[Sunwoo]

Just now, Anacybele said:

I already decided not to keep trying though.

The point is whether or not it's unhealthy to have no friends and not want much interaction with people.

Just realized that I never actually answered this question. And yes, it is unhealthy.

No matter how much you try, no person is an island. Regardless of how much you want or try to avoid people, you're going to come into contact with people one way or another because it's just unavoidable. Refusing to interact at all makes one close-minded and unable to deal with even the slightest bit of conflict or disagreement with people. Human beings are going to disagree with one another on certain things. Human beings may not be nice to one another either. It's unavoidable. So that's one thing people need to learn -- how to accept that we're not going to get along with everyone and that some people are mean, without avoiding everyone because you're afraid of interaction.

[Anacybele]

2 minutes ago, Sunwoo said:

Just realized that I never actually answered this question. And yes, it is unhealthy.

No matter how much you try, no person is an island. Regardless of how much you want or try to avoid people, you're going to come into contact with people one way or another because it's just unavoidable. Refusing to interact at all makes one close-minded and unable to deal with even the slightest bit of conflict or disagreement with people. Human beings are going to disagree with one another on certain things. Human beings may not be nice to one another either. It's unavoidable. So that's one thing people need to learn -- how to accept that we're not going to get along with everyone and that some people are mean, without avoiding everyone because you're afraid of interaction.

Didn't you see where I said that obviously I'd have to do things like walk into a store and pay at a cashier or follow instructions from a boss at work and all? I know I have to do that much. I'm saying I don't have to make friends or regularly hang out with/make a bunch of conversation with anyone.

Edited April 12, 2018 by Anacybele

[Water Mage]

6 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

I already decided not to keep trying though.

The point is whether or not it's unhealthy to have no friends and not want much interaction with people. Not how I try or not try to make friends.

Why give up? Because it’s painful? Well, yeah, of course it’s painful. But that’s no reason to stop. Use that pain to learn. Because the alternative, having no friends, is much, much worse. It’s an empty life. Happy, but empty, like a garden of fake flowers. Good for show and nothing else.

Edited April 12, 2018 by Water Mage

[Anacybele]

1 minute ago, Water Mage said:

Why give up? Because it’s painful? Well, yeah, of course it’s painful. But that no reason to stop. Use that pain to learn. Because the alternative, having no friends, is much, much worse. It’s an empty life. Happy, but empty, like a garden of fake flowers. Good for show and nothing else.

Learn? Learn what? And I've tried this friendship thing for years. Literally. It's not for me.

And that "emptiness" doesn't bother me, personally.

Edited April 12, 2018 by Anacybele

[Jave]

"Friendless" is debatable. I think you can live through life with little to no friends because you can have your family and acquaintances are a thing. You can get through life with minimal, selected interaction and probably be happy, although I feel the lowest interaction you have, the lowest chance at happiness you have.

Being Antisocial I find to be very unhealthy. You can't go through life without human interaction, and if you lack basic social skills, well, I doubt it'll get you far in life.

 

[Water Mage]

6 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

Learn? Learn what? And I've tried this friendship thing for years. Literally. It's not for me.

And that "emptiness" doesn't bother me, personally.

Learn what you did wrong, and change. And that friendship thing isn’t for you? Of course it is! Of fucking course it is! There’s not a single human being in this world who is not cut for friendship. And the “emptiness” doesn’t bother you? Of course it doesn’t! It never will. Doesn’t mean it isn’t bad for you. I mean, lots of unhealthy food taste good. Doesn’t mean they are good for you. 

Edited April 12, 2018 by Water Mage

[Azz]

1 minute ago, Anacybele said:

Learn? Learn what?

And that "emptiness" doesn't bother me, personally.

It doesn't bother you now. But what about in a few years. (BTW, I don't mean to hurt your feelings by saying this, just a heads up) As you said, currently your mother is the person you get on the most with, what will you do when she is gone? Being alone (And I don't mean, having alone time alone, I mean having absolutely no one in your life) is horrible and really can screw a person up. I also fear the time when my family is gone, my parents will no doubt die before me, my sister has a disease that shortens her life span and I already lost my other sister. This is why friends are important, or well, even just simple acquaintances you can talk to since once your family is gone (The people most people will have a connection with), you will be able to turn to them.

[Punished Dayni]

From personal experience, yes.

I have spent time in isolation from people, I've distanced myself from those around me. I still kind of am and this is despite being around family. I know what it can do and does to my head at least.

I don't know if you have a feeling of emptiness. I'm not sure that's how I describe it. But an antisocial approach is not a good call. It's a bit selfish to put it as how I am, but still.

[Anacybele]

Just now, Water Mage said:

Learn what you did wrong, and change. And that friendship thing isn’t for you? Of course it is! Of fucking course it is! There’s not a single human being in this world who not cut for friendship. And the “emptiness” doesn’t bother you? Of course it course it doesn’t! It never will. Doesn’t it isn’t bad for you. I mean, lots unhealthy food taste good. Doesn’t mean they are good for you. 

What if I didn't actually do anything wrong? I believe much of the time, I didn't. On a few occasions, sure. And I would say I did learn from those few occasions.

And the difference there is that emptiness won't gradually do bad things to your body like unhealthy food would.

[Silver-Haired Maiden]

Let me put it to you this way: there's a reason solitary confinement is considered to be cruel to many people. Social isolation IS bad for you. Eventually it will cause mental issues and depression.

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20140514-how-extreme-isolation-warps-minds

And this is just one source, just a quick Google search gives you a lot more on why social isolation is bad for a human.

[Anacybele]

1 minute ago, Silver-Haired Maiden said:

Let me put it to you this way: there's a reason solitary confinement is considered to be cruel to many people. Social isolation IS bad for you. Eventually it will cause mental issues and depression.

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20140514-how-extreme-isolation-warps-minds

And this is just one source, just a quick Google search gives you a lot more on why social isolation is bad for a human.

Okay, I obviously I would not do anything that extreme. :/

3 minutes ago, Azz said:

It doesn't bother you now. But what about in a few years. (BTW, I don't mean to hurt your feelings by saying this, just a heads up) As you said, currently your mother is the person you get on the most with, what will you do when she is gone? Being alone (And I don't mean, having alone time alone, I mean having absolutely no one in your life) is horrible and really can screw a person up. I also fear the time when my family is gone, my parents will no doubt die before me, my sister has a disease that shortens her life span and I already lost my other sister. This is why friends are important, or well, even just simple acquaintances you can talk to since once your family is gone (The people most people will have a connection with), you will be able to turn to them.

I said before that I have wondered what I would do when my mom is gone. I'm sure I'll find an answer in due time.

[Water Mage]

8 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

What if I didn't actually do anything wrong? I believe much of the time, I didn't. On a few occasions, sure. And I would say I did learn from those few occasions.

And the difference there is that emptiness won't gradually do bad things to your body like unhealthy food would.

You believe you didn’t do anything wrong? That’s your problem right there. You’re expecting people to be act as you want them to act, to say only things you want to listen. You want friends who will never disagree with you. And that’s wrong. You’re going to deal with things you don’t like. You HAVE to deal things you don’t like. Life much more colorful that way.

And the emptiness won’t gradually hurt your body, but it will fuck up your mind. 

Edited April 12, 2018 by Water Mage

[omegaxis1]

Though a terrible series after the first few arcs, Fairy Tail had some decent quotes, this one being one one of those gems by the immortal Makarov:

Quote

There are people in this world who that enjoy being alone, but there isn't a single person that can bear solitude.

You enjoy being alone. That's great. But true solitude is not something that anyone can handle. It's that state of mind where if we truly realize that we're alone in the world, that's when you really lose it. 

Right now, you're just someone that prefers to be alone, but you have people you talk to, people you hang out with. It's your thread. What allows you to stay connected, in some small way. 

Humans seek out connections, something that makes us feel like we exist. We do things so that it can prove that we are alive, that we belong in this world. 

[Anacybele]

10 minutes ago, Water Mage said:

You believe you didn’t do anything wrong? That’s your problem right there. You’re expecting people to be act as you want them to act, to say only things you want to listen. You want friends who will never disagree with you. And that’s wrong. You’re going to deal with things you don’t like. You HAVE to deal things you don’t like. Life much more colorful that way.

And the emptiness won’t gradually hurt your body, but it will fuck up your mind. 

Now hold on. That is NOT true. I've disagreed with Dragoncat plenty of times and have known and been friends with her for years. Same with this guy I met on Deviantart who has been my co-writer for some time. I'll also point out Glaceon Mage here. We used to clash, but we get along better these days and we disagree a fuckton. And of course. I've dealt with things I don't like and gotten over them.

...Yeah, I have a hard time believing that bottom statement.

Edited April 13, 2018 by Anacybele

[Water Mage]

8 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

Now hold on. That is NOT true. I've disagreed with Dragoncat plenty of times and have known and gotten along with her for years. Same with this guy I met on Deviantart who has been my co-writer for some time. And of course. I've dealt with things I don't like and gotten over them.

...Yeah, I have a hard time believing that bottom statement.

Yes that is true. Otherwise you wouldn’t have this problem in this first place. For what other reason you failed at friendships if not because the person you were trying to be friends with wasn’t what you wanted them to be? Or because they said something you didn’t agree with?

And trust me, there is nothing, and I do mean NOTHING good about emptiness. It will without a doubt fuck up your mind.

Edited April 13, 2018 by Water Mage

[omegaxis1]

6 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

...Yeah, I have a hard time believing that bottom statement.

You'd be surprised, actually. 

The feeling of emptiness is how I mentioned above. If people seek to make connections to find a meaning in their life, then the feeling of emptiness means that you don't feel like you belong in the world. This can really make your mind question things in many abnormal ways. It leads to many disorders and conditions that can and will lead to either suicidal thoughts, and potentially homicidal ones.

1 minute ago, Water Mage said:

Yes that is true. Otherwise you wouldn’t have this problem in this first place. For what other reason you failed at friendships if you not because the person you were trying to be friends with wasn’t what you wanted them to be? Or because they said something you didn’t agree with?

And trust me, there is nothing, and I do mean NOTHING good about emptiness. It will without a doubt fuck up your mind.

Well, it isn't that bad. I chat with Ana a lot. And I disagree with plenty of things. She loves Ephraim and hates Lucina. I love Lucina and can't stand Ephraim.

[Water Mage]

2 minutes ago, omegaxis1 said:

 

Well, it isn't that bad. I chat with Ana a lot. And I disagree with plenty of things. She loves Ephraim and hates Lucina. I love Lucina and can't stand Ephraim.

Online interactions doesn’t really count, because it’s much easier to deal with disagreement when you can’t see the person’s face or hear their voice. It makes you a lot bolder as well. And that isn’t a good thing.

Edited April 13, 2018 by Water Mage

[Anacybele]

7 minutes ago, Water Mage said:

Yes that is true. Otherwise you wouldn’t have this problem in this first place. For what other reason you failed at friendships if not because the person you were trying to be friends with wasn’t what you wanted them to be? Or because they said something you didn’t agree with?

And trust me, there is nothing, and I do mean NOTHING good about emptiness. It will without a doubt fuck up your mind.

Did you not see what I just said? I CAN get along with people that don't agree with me sometimes. I think it's more like they're into a lot of things I don't care about or I'm into a lot of things they don't care about. Or arguments over shit happen. And arguments are not just one person's fault. It takes two people to argue.

2 minutes ago, Water Mage said:

Online interactions doesn’t really count, because it’s much easier to deal with disagreement when you can’t see the person’s face or hear their voice. It makes you a lot bolder as well. And that isn’t a good thing.

This is kind of true. But my conversations with omegaxis and Dcat still show that I can accept when someone doesn't agree with me or vice versa.

And I've never had to deal with this in person because I've not interacted enough with people in person for it to happen outside my family. And family is...well, family.

Edited April 13, 2018 by Anacybele

[Sunwoo]

40 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

Didn't you see where I said that obviously I'd have to do things like walk into a store and pay at a cashier or follow instructions from a boss at work and all? I know I have to do that much. I'm saying I don't have to make friends or regularly hang out with/make a bunch of conversation with anyone.

And what do you do if someone you have to interact with for the long-term, like your boss, is very unpleasant to you for no discernible reason or for reasons you can't control? What if it isn't your fault, but you can't stop it and you interact with this person? What do you do then?

Even if you feel you don't have to make friends or regularly hang out with people, you need to make conversation with people or else you're going to be at a loss when you're faced with something difficult. Like if/when you move out of home and have to deal with a difficult neighbor. Or work colleagues that you just can't stand. Or something else that becomes an issue. Because it's not a matter of "if", it's "when". Making conversation with people teaches you how to make difficult conversations bearable. It'll teach you what the dos and don'ts are, and how to make it not hurt so much.

Late edit, but arguments can totally be one person's fault. It's rare, but it happens.

Edited April 13, 2018 by Sunwoo

[Water Mage]

2 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

Did you not see what I just said? I CAN get along with people that don't agree with me sometimes. I think it's more like they're into a lot of things I don't care about or I'm into a lot of things they don't care about. Or arguments over shit happen. And arguments are not just one person's fault. It takes two people to argue.

This is kind of true. But my conversations with omegaxis and Dcat still show that I can accept when someone doesn't agree with me or vice versa.

And I've never had to deal with this in person because I've not interacted enough with people in person for it to happen outside my family. And family is...well, family.

Again, you are proving my point. You’re not willing to care about the things they care. And yes it takes two people to argue. But that doesn’t stop you from putting the past behind.

And if you never had to deal with that before because you didn’t interact with enough people, again, you prove my point.

[Anacybele]

1 minute ago, Sunwoo said:

And what do you do if someone you have to interact with for the long-term, like your boss, is very unpleasant to you for no discernible reason or for reasons you can't control? What if it isn't your fault, but you can't stop it and you interact with this person? What do you do then?

Even if you feel you don't have to make friends or regularly hang out with people, you need to make conversation with people or else you're going to be at a loss when you're faced with something difficult. Like if/when you move out of home and have to deal with a difficult neighbor. Or work colleagues that you just can't stand. Or something else that becomes an issue. Because it's not a matter of "if", it's "when". Making conversation with people teaches you how to make difficult conversations bearable. It'll teach you what the dos and don'ts are, and how to make it not hurt so much.

Since I've never had to deal with that before, I don't know. But I'd try to figure it out.

And sure, but it doesn't mean I have to make friends or even want to consider those people acquaintances.

[Solvaij]

I used to feel this way, and I still have bouts with it. Even now that I have really close friends, sometimes I just think, "Wow, this is more work than it's worth. Why am I even doing this?" In fact my worst period of depression happened right after I had made a bunch of friends (correlation, probably not entirely causation). But I dunno, friendship presents its rewards in time. So is it unhealthy to be antisocial? I don't really think so. It's more a matter of opportunity cost. Sure you can live contentedly and not get hurt if you avoid the pressures of socializing. On the other hand, you miss out on the deep connections you can have with people and all the consequences of that. Having a network of people to rely on is nice when things get tough, even if you CAN take care of yourself. If nothing else, you mentioned writing somewhere in this thread. I don't know how much you write, but it's tough to develop a round cast of characters when the only person's thoughts and feelings you know are your own. Having friends introduces you to a wide variety of perspectives, not just in passing, but deeply.

But based on your responses so far, it sounds like you're not going to be convinced, which is fine. You'll probably be okay being antisocial for a while, and if or when the time comes that you change your mind, you'll seek out what you need. Thankfully it's never too late to make friends.

Also,

42 minutes ago, omegaxis1 said:

Though a terrible series after the first few arcs, Fairy Tail had some decent quotes, this one being one one of those gems by the immortal Makarov:

hello fellow Fairy Tail fan! I sure wish it hadn't taken such a nosedive [@GrandMagicGames]