Funny school stories

[Dragoncat]

I felt like making a topic about funny stuff that happens in school, add your own and stuff.

Lost and Found
I walked into a class and there were these girls going "ew ew ew!" They had found a pair of male briefs and one of them had them dangling from the end of her pencil. The teacher walks in and says "I'm not going to call the office and ask who THESE belong to!" And she picks them up and throws them in the hallway.

Karma
We were playing basketball in small groups in gym and one guy I was against kept traveling and double dribbling and generally being an ass. I grabbed at his shirt to try to slow him down and get the ball from him and he pulled away and his shirt ripped. A guy on my team told me "Good job, he deserved it." He didn't speak to me for weeks and glared at me for the rest of the day.

Flat Tire
I got back late from lunch and there was a lockdown so me and two guys who also got back late were stuck in the office. One of them wanted to know if he could have an excused absence because he was late only because of a flat tire. The office lady said he could only have an excused absence for doctor, funeral, or court. He said "I had to take my tire to the doctor, we almost had a funeral." And I added "And now you have to go to court!"

[DisobeyedCargo]

This happened a month ago

i was in java class when I asked to go to the bathroom. Right when I sat down to do my business the school said EVACUATE!

so we ran down the the building next door cause the evacuatiok was for a BOMB THREAT

 

there was no bomb, but I left all my stuff in school, including my switch and 3ds. So for three hours I sat around doing literallly nothing bored out of my mind

all because someone probably wanted to get out of a test, so they called in a fake threat  

Edited May 22, 2018 by DisobeyedCargo

[GreatKnightEcho]

This happened yesterday.

So I was sitting in a college algebra class (This was a high school class.) Somebody's phone went off. I thought to myself, "Alright, whose dumb ringtone is going off now?" I listened closely, and recognized the music as this: 

Then I realized, "Wait, shit. That's my dumb ringtone."

[LucarioGamer812]

So back when I was a late sophomore and junior, our PE teacher who only taught freshman took the class out many days and were walking around campus playing pokemon go. He of course was into it because of the fad, but still semi funny seeing the gym teacher go crazy over a jigglypuff or whatever.

[Shoblongoo]

Senior Prank back in High School

Several kids went to all the local area PetsMart's and bought up all the live crickets used to feed the reptiles. Bags and bags of them. Hundreds and hundreds of live crickets.



...the bags were then smuggled into the school via backpack the next day, and said crickets were released in a crowded Cafeteria during Lunch... 
 

Edited May 22, 2018 by Shoblongoo

[Dragoncat]

28 minutes ago, DisobeyedCargo said:

This happened a month ago

i was in java class when I asked to go to the bathroom. Right when I sat down to do my business the school said EVACUATE!

so we ran down the the building next door cause the evacuatiok was for a BOMB THREAT

 

there was no bomb, but I left all my stuff in school, including my switch and 3ds. So for three hours I sat around doing literallly nothing bored out of my mind

all because someone probably wanted to get out of a test, so they called in a fake threat  

I hope they got in a lot of trouble for that! Calling in a fake bomb threat should be a serious offense.

Finger Painters of Brownness
Somebody smeared poop all over the walls in one of the men's bathrooms so that bathroom was locked for a few weeks and one of the teachers wasn't letting any of the boys in her class use the bathroom because she thought they might be the poop spreaders. The art teacher called them "the finger painters of brownness".

@Shoblongoo I wish my class did a senior prank!

Edited May 22, 2018 by Dragoncat

[DisobeyedCargo]

6 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

I hope they got in a lot of trouble for that! Calling in a fake bomb threat should be a serious offense.

Finger Painters of Brownness
Somebody smeared poop all over the walls in one of the men's bathrooms so that bathroom was locked for a few weeks and one of the teachers wasn't letting any of the boys in her class use the bathroom because she thought they might be the poop spreaders. The art teacher called them "the finger painters of brownness".

@Shoblongoo I wish my class did a senior prank!

Nope

we never found out who did It 

[Dragoncat]

9 minutes ago, DisobeyedCargo said:

Nope

we never found out who did It 

Wow...

There Must Be A Slurpee Machine In The Men's Room
The state wrestling champion asked to go to the bathroom and came back with a slurpee. He didn't go to the bathroom. He freaking LEFT THE SCHOOL so he could buy a slurpee at the gas station. I think he got detention and the teacher cried because she couldn't believe anyone would take advantage of her like that.

[Anacybele]

The only notable things I remember from school are the more not so funny moments (like getting picked on or having fire drills or whatnot). Can't really recall anything particularly funny...

Though I'm sure this one time in middle school we were playing floor hockey in gym, people were laughing their asses off at me when this kid plowed into me and sent me to the floor with busted glasses. I was really upset because those glasses were relatively new and I was sure my mom was going to be pissed. She was annoyed, but not too upset since it wasn't really my fault. But she sure didn't like having to get me new ones again so soon.

I don't mind now if they did laugh, because I bet it did look kinda funny and they probably didn't notice the broken glasses anyway. xP

Generally, anything "not normal" that other kids or teachers did I just rolled my eyes at or just flat out ignored. I didn't socialize much at all.

Edited May 22, 2018 by Anacybele

[Dragoncat]

15 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

Though I'm sure this one time in middle school we were playing floor hockey in gym, people were laughing their asses off at me when this kid plowed into me and sent me to the floor with busted glasses. I was really upset because those glasses were relatively new and I was sure my mom was going to be pissed. She was annoyed, but not too upset since it wasn't really my fault. But she sure didn't like having to get me new ones again so soon.

I got hit in the face with a basketball. And a baseball bat. And had broken glasses. Been there done that...

[Anacybele]

Just now, Dragoncat said:

I got hit in the face with a basketball. And a baseball bat. And had broken glasses. Been there done that...

A lot of kids wearing glasses probably had their glasses broken once or twice, now that I think about it.

[DisobeyedCargo]

Just now, Anacybele said:

A lot of kids wearing glasses probably had their glasses broken once or twice, now that I think about it.

I broke my own glasses at school 

[Armagon]

After we took the AP Spanish test, my Spanish teacher went on Twitter and showed us all the AP Spanish test memes and there was some pretty hilarious stuff. One part of the exam was an audio recording from YouTube on how to make patatas (that was the worst part of the exam btw, the recording was awful, even a fluent Spanish speaker like me could barely understand) and there was a Tweet with a link to the actual video. Me and my classmates had a good laugh.

2 hours ago, Shoblongoo said:

Senior Prank back in High School

Several kids went to all the local area PetsMart's and bought up all the live crickets used to feed the reptiles. Bags and bags of them. Hundreds and hundreds of live crickets.



...the bags were then smuggled into the school via backpack the next day, and said crickets were released in a crowded Cafeteria during Lunch... 
 

That is terrifying.

 

[Interdimensional Observer]

I recall this one instance where towards the end of the school year, this AP Literature class I was in held a little party in the library. It was filled with people dressing up wacky referencing the books we'd read that semester and doing various presentations (no grades, just for fun). I just wrote meh some jokes centered on drinking more vodka that someone else read because I wasn't willing to present them (and my ability to tell them would be poor). Eventually it got to this one point where the teacher sat in the middle of the room, the lights were turned down, and several male students turned on the music and turned into strippers (undressing not all the way of course- just to their matching underwear). The librarian from what I remember hearing was physically aghast by it, and the teacher obviously was too, but she was caught up in the blur of the moment.

[Dragoncat]

2 minutes ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

I recall this one instance where towards the end of the school year, this AP Literature class I was in held a little party in the library. It was filled with people dressing up wacky referencing the books we'd read that semester and doing various presentations (no grades, just for fun). I just wrote meh some jokes centered on drinking more vodka that someone else read because I wasn't willing to present them (and my ability to tell them would be poor). Eventually it got to this one point where the teacher sat in the middle of the room, the lights were turned down, and several male students turned on the music and turned into strippers (undressing not all the way of course- just to their matching underwear). The librarian from what I remember hearing was physically aghast by it, and the teacher obviously was too, but she was caught up in the blur of the moment.

Is Magic Mike a book too? LOL!

[Interdimensional Observer]

28 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

Is Magic Mike a book too? LOL!

Nope, the stripper stuff had nothing to do with the books we'd read at all! Catch 22, Fahrenheit 451, Hamlet, The Metamorphosis, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, The Stranger, some short stories as well, I believe "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" was among them. Mostly it had to relate to the literary-philosophical concept of the Absurd.

There is an Italian prostitute chasing after the main character with a steak knife in Catch 22 near the end, and of course some other low brow sex stuff there too, the book was intended to be funny. The teacher explained the prostitute symbolized the main character's conscience, since without your conscience, you're just a prostitute. The prostitute only appears when you're in danger of betraying your conscience, and will appear even if you dropped them out of a bomber earlier or something else that'd you'd think would get rid of them. The only time the main character gets knifed is when he does at one point sell out his conscience, but afterwards he learns his lesson at the book's very end, though the prostitute remains on the hunt, he just jumps in time.

...I'll never forget that splendid metaphor. Or how good Hamlet is, the lesson I take away from that is procrastinate and everybody dies. Just kill your uncle for vengeance or ignore your dead father's ghost, staging a play to confirm your uncle's guilt does nothing but waste your time and you'll regret it.

Of course the fact the stripping had nothing to do with the class threatened, so the teacher said, them ever being able to do the annual class party ever again. Since I'm sure the administration didn't love hearing about what happened. And this teacher mind you already had issues with the administration, she had a little breakdown in class once just releasing all her misery in her job to us. It was cool. I loved the class, but my record there could be hit or miss depending on the day. I was something of a mercurial, unrestrained but good student.

Probably the worst thing about that class was having to watch The Graduate, ugh! I do not like a movie about an old housewife forcefully seducing a naive ideal male fresh out of college graduate at all, and yet I was only one of two students to complain! Having watched in college Dr. Strangelove, I think that would have been just as appropriate but better. 

Said teacher was also friends with the science teacher who ran the school greenhouse, and since I was in AP Bio too which she taught, I got to go in there a few times. It was warm and nice, complete with a banana tree (and that is unusual where I live), makes me wish I had one, if not for growing stuff, for having the perfect place to read and nap year round. I was friendless in high school, I've always been friendless, but I enjoyed being a teacher's pet in most classes, if owing to my Asperger's a bit wild and socially unaware. Still am socially awkward and distinct in the classroom, but I hope I've made some improvements since then.

Edited May 23, 2018 by Interdimensional Observer

[Dragoncat]

@Interdimensional Observer My english teacher showed us a power point called "You already know the story of Hamlet, you just don't know it" and each slide was a different hint. A lion cub, a hyena, and a ghost. Lion King! Blew my mind.

[Hawkwing]

In 8th grade, when our history class was studying the American Revolution, one of the projects our teacher made us do was to debate whether the Boston Massacre was an unprovoked attack by British troops into a protesting crowd, or if it was an act of self defense. It was random as to which side a student was given, and they were all based on historical figures (and introverted me got King George III, who was firmly on the side of the British, obviously), and there was a neutral party that gravitated towards one side or the other depending on the strength of the arguments.Soon the time of studying was over, and the debate began. It started out calm and collected, with both sides giving very solid reasoning's for their position. Then two neutral students started giving some very passionate arguments about why the American blood that was spilled was innocent, so the teacher allowed them to join the American side of the argument. Soon the whole debate grew increasingly heated, with voices starting to raise in volume, people started talking over each other, standing up and using body language and gestures to enhance their points. By the end, all sides were on their feet, yelling at the top of their lungs, pointing fingers and arguing over which side was in the right or wrong

And it was awesome.

There was no name calling, no personal attacks, no underhanded tactics or pitiful comebacks. Just a passionate debate about the morality of a historical event.

The faces on the neutral parties was priceless, too, and I actually scared someone. Apparently, it was the first time I ever yelled in public.

 

In 10th grade, when our health class was studying human reproduction, I attempted to set up a bet on whether or not I would puke during the class. This was not unfounded, as a teacher actually took me to the side early on and told me that if I felt nauseous or uncomfortable, I was free to leave the classroom for a bit until I felt better (earlier in the school year, we had a short project where we made a small, pamphlet, I guess? on our thoughts on dating and marriage, what we thought a healthy relationship looked like, what we valued in a potential partner, etc. Needless to say, I made my disliking of romance pretty clear, even if nowadays I display it with more finesse (there's.. not much subtlety in stating I would throw romance into a supernova, and then throwing the supernova into a black hole, is there? 15 year old was creative, at the least)).

Nobody took me up on the bet, but I realize why in hindsight. I don't think they wanted my money, and I would be the sole benefactor if I won.

Needless to say, I lost that bet, but I did feel nauseous several times during the class, and I did want to gouge out my eyes out whenever there were pictures (thank goodness for brain bleach).

[Corrobin]

I was in Kindergarten, and I had failed to make it to the bathroom, which meant I had an... impressive skid mark. I knew the teacher could help me, but due to my school's... unique layout, I had to go from the bathroom, through the lunchroom for the younger kids (preschoolers through second grade) to get to my classroom. What was my brilliant idea?

Walk across the lunchroom with my underwear and pants around my ankles.

I was a dumb kid.

[Scoot]

It was either middle or high school. The entire class was waiting for the outside a locked classroom. One kid joked to his friend that someone should kick the door open.

...So he did, the absolute madman.

[Dragoncat]

@Hawkwing Asexual and aromantic? I guess whatever floats your boat...but honestly imo it's kind of sad that you completely reject romance in itself. There can be romance without sex and it's a beautiful thing to have someone to grow old with and stuff like that.

When I was in sex ed a guy said he thought the female reproductive system looked like a bird. What is this I don't even. So it's awkward for everybody.

@Corrobin Lol I think we were all dumb kids. I remember in 1st grade I was mad because I caught a glimpse into the boys bathroom from the outside of it and the boys had "this cool big sink" that the girls didn't. Years later I realized it was a urinal.

[Captain Karnage]

I was in my choir class and the guys were singing Under the Boardwalk. Our teacher told us we needed to put in some more energy. A girl in the back of the class yelled "ITS A SONG ABOUT YOU GETTING LAID, SO SMILE ABOUT IT!"

 

While I was a HHP major I was taking a health class, and in this class their were only 6 men in the class with 20 or so girls. We were doing a lesson on safe "adult relations" and we had to be split up into groups, in each group we were given a bag of steps written on paper on how to put a condom on a penis, once completed the group was given a prosthetic penis and a condom. I looked around and noticed that the professor put 1 guy in each group so no more than 1 guy was in a group. Well to shorten it up, my group had no idea how to actually put on the dam thing and one of the girls yelled at the men in the room "Y'all should know how to do this!"

 

 

[Dragoncat]

8 minutes ago, Captain Karnage said:

 

 

While I was a HHP major I was taking a health class, and in this class their were only 6 men in the class with 20 or so girls. We were doing a lesson on safe "adult relations" and we had to be split up into groups, in each group we were given a bag of steps written on paper on how to put a condom on a penis, once completed the group was given a prosthetic penis and a condom. I looked around and noticed that the professor put 1 guy in each group so no more than 1 guy was in a group. Well to shorten it up, my group had no idea how to actually put on the dam thing and one of the girls yelled at the men in the room "Y'all should know how to do this!"

 

 

I'm a virgin female and even I know it should just be like, stick it on the tip and roll it down? Omg wtf.

[Hawkwing]

1 hour ago, Dragoncat said:

@Hawkwing Asexual and aromantic? I guess whatever floats your boat...but honestly imo it's kind of sad that you completely reject romance in itself. There can be romance without sex and it's a beautiful thing to have someone to grow old with and stuff like that.

Spoiler

Hey, I've matured a lot since 10th grade! I still don't like romance, but nowadays I give my opinion with a bit more finesse.

Also, I've always separated s*x and romance ever since I was little (when I didn't know that s*x was a thing, but then again, my sister was born when I was 2, so I knew where babies came from. How they got there was a question I simply never asked). I simply wanted to make that clear.

Admittedly, the kid in me that closed his eyes at kissing scenes in movies never went away, but from a child to an adult, I  was never really draw to any aspect of romance (other than the "making fun of it" part). I'm perfectly content living on my one, and I could talk to with my friends and family if I ever felt feel lonely. I'm also not an emotional person, and I always listen to my head over my heart, so many of the main draws to romance don't interest me at all.

Even as a child, though, whenever romance was featured in fiction, I always predicted the consequences that "love" resulted in, both good and ill, and I noticed that many of the most foolish decisions made by the main characters where about romantic "love," did admittedly sour my view on it. The fact that Eros is also called the most foolish act that a wise person would engage in, doesn't help my perception on it.

I also always saw true love as sacrificial love; The love that God gives to a sinful humanity that he would sacrifice his one and only son for us, even if we were the only. Compared to that, the love in Eros, friendship, or affection have pales considerably, though I should stress that each of those is glorious and beautiful in it's time and place.

In the end, though, I'm not against romance or s*x. I just don't find it interesting. I will criticize people, both in fiction and real life who engage in such acts foolishly, but I have no grudge or gripe with people who do find enjoyment, satisfaction, and value in such things, as long as they do such with right amount of thought and morality.

I also have no sticking clue what the heck makes something romantic, but honestly, I'd like to remain ignorant in that area of life.

Also, why do we keep having these kinds of talks?

Interestingly, I was actually paired up with one of my friends who was also asexual during that health class. It was interesting to see our different views on s*x. I find it disgusting, uninteresting, and shallow, while he was only interested in the scientific side of things and only cared that it continued the human race, although he was legitimately curious as to why some people put so much stock into it.

 

Oh yeah! Another funny story about school was that when taking an online college health course (frustratingly, one I didn't need and was put into by accident. It was also the first time I got a C in my life, and I was not happy about that) I actually had to ask my mom to fill in the details about the female anatomy on the study guide, as I was so grossed out that I very nearly puked. I also asked her to draw some clothes on the picture that was provided on the pseudo-textbook (as it was a just a huge stack of papers. They didn't even provide a binder for it).

Ladies, all I'm going to say is that you look better with your clothes on, and a guy who truly loves you won't give a damn about your physical appearance; He'll give a damn about you, and will stay by you in thick and thin.

[Ottservia]

I remember from when I was in my high school world studies classes(it happened pretty much every year in each of these classes government, history, etc.) I was literally the ONLY person to answer the questions the teacher asked. Not kidding it got to the point where the teacher had to actively limit the amount of times I could participate in these discussions. Like I could only answer 5 questions before I had to stop. Also the funny part about this is I barely paid attention. Most of the time I was on my 3ds playing fire emblem, pokemon, or monster hunter.