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You've just woken up in the Hospital. CYOA


ProfImpossible
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2 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

D) Ask the witch queen by what metric you're getting paid

You ask the witch queen by what metric you're getting paid. How do you feel about oranges, she says. You simply reply YES. She tells you to get back to work. You are about to try your hand at defeating a shaman when a flying unit swoops in out of nowhere and defeats him, taking the exp for herself! That's kill-stealing! How do you confront her?

A) Like a Monk. (Excuse me, but I had planned to take that experience.)

B) Like a Pirate (Y'aaarrr, nobody steals from Shanty Pete!!)

C) Like a playah (Hey baby, I saw that kill you got there. Realllllll nice.)

D) Like a coward (you don't say a word)

 

 

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2 hours ago, Solvaij said:

C) Like a playah (Hey baby, I saw that kill you got there. Realllllll nice.)

"hey girl, I saw that. You came and swooped that kill real smooth like, I like that" 

She seems interested, what do you do next?

 

A.) Recite Shakespeare

B.) Balance A vacuum cleaner.

C.) Berate her for taking your EXP

D.) Make a deal to pool together your orange spoils.

 

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C.) Berate her for taking your EXP

You said that you need to grind yourself and the high-level Pegasus Knight finally understands. Suddenly, her high-level Cleric friend attacked by an enemy's Shaman and you killed the enemy's Shaman so bravely. You gave your only vulnerary to heal her and she heals you back with her Heal. They thank to you for your help and you said you can help them later since you also need to grind. She helps you deals massive damages to the enemy's mage and let you deal the last hit. Now your level up to Lv.2.  You chase an enemy's archer which tries to hit the Pegasus Knight and you kill the archer. Even you helps a Shaman ally and killed enemy's Monk.

Without your knowing, you impressed the Witch general and everyone. The high-level force now helps you to dealt the last hit to rest of every single massive enemy numbers on the battlefield, and in return, you help them to defeat every single enemy who has advantage againts them. You even help defeat the enemy's boss who dropped a Master Seal.

After the battle ends, your level now 20. You gave the Master Seal to the Queen after the witch general done the reports. The Queen impressed and orders you to use a Special Seal after heard the story about your Axe. You promoted to become an 'unusual' Lv.1 War Monk (you wears light armor and got back your Axe wielding proficiency along with your Light magic with your highest stats between Pirate and Monk classes plus gaining-stats promotion, able to swim, but with no Critical bonus, unable to hike mountains, no Slayer Skill, and unable to wield Staff). The queen offers you a reward. You remember your quest for oranges. You choose...

A. To released from the Queen's service for "continue your pilgrimage"

B. One last battle and released from the Queen's service for "continue your pilgrimage". You'll got a big basket of full oranges

C. Two last battles and released from the Queen's service for "continue your pilgrimage". You'll got 2000 gold and a basket of oranges

D. Three last battles and released from the Queen's service for "continue your pilgrimage". The queen will take your Axe and Lightning, and she will give you Tomahawk and Purge

Edited by illegal knight
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Heck yeah axes are back. We gotta be at least A rank in those.

51 minutes ago, illegal knight said:

B. One last battle and released from the Queen's service for "continue your pilgrimage". You'll got a big basket of full oranges

You carefully weigh the options given to you. 2000 doesn't seem like that much, and your light magic should cover 1-2 range needs. Not only that, but going for the gold sounds like it'd give you a smaller basket of oranges, and you really just want those oranges, and you want them now.

The queen grants you your request, and the next day you head out to continue the invasion. You and several others trek to an old fort, an important stronghold for the opposition. Due to its age, there are some regions of the walls that crumbling, but most of the stonework has held up well throughout the centuries. There's also a great iron gate, but there's no way you could open it from the outside.

The witch general gives a rallying speech, her forces charge the fortress, and you-

A) Use your Steel Axe to help break down the walls, and make an opening for your allies

B) Use your Lightening to attack the enemies behind the walls

C) Flirt with the Pegasus Knight from earlier, in the hopes that she'll give you a ride (over the walls)

D) "Watch the rear" and "wait for the right moment" like a "tactical mastermind"

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14 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

D) "Watch the rear" and "wait for the right moment" like a "tactical mastermind"

As the new 'Unusual' War Monk class, you understand that you cannot act so recklessly because the aid will not be focused especially for you anymore like before since this is your last moment in battle beside them. So you need to learn more to the situation first.

Suddenly incoming attack to the witch general. You covering the witch general beside you and you take the hit. You suffer significant damage but thanks for your good Res stat, you able to withstand it. The witch general orders a bishop to heal you and she thanking you. Now you and your allies learned that there's a spellcaster wields a Bolting tome in the enemy's ranks.

Just watch and wait isn't a wise choice and you need to....

A) Use your Steel Axe to help break down the walls, and make an opening for your allies

B) Use your Lightening to attack the enemies behind the walls

C) Flirt with the Pegasus Knight from earlier, in the hopes that she'll give you a ride (over the walls)

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You flirt with the Pegasus Knight. She is so immediately taken back by your bold forwardness, she suggests the two of you ditch the battle and go somewhere private (I feel compelled to note that our character has no defined gender right now).

A) Accept her proposal and suggest some nearby bushes.

B)Accept her proposal and suggest a nice restaurant you seen the other day, back in the middle of the desert (unfortunately it probably doesn't serve oranges, but if you can get this girl on your side, the continent is yours!)

C)Reject her proposal hard, scorning her and making her an enemy for life.

D)Reject her proposal softly and ask for a ride (over the walls)

Edited by Jotari
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7 minutes ago, Jotari said:

 (I feel compelled to note that are character has no defined gender right now).

That's what you think, but Pirate is a gender-locked class.

 

7 minutes ago, Jotari said:

D)Reject her proposal softly and ask for a ride (over the walls)

You protest that this is a battlefield as your support rank grows (don't ban me), and politely ask if she would be willing to do something later and could just take you over the walls for now. She accepts, and after the tactician checks movement range a few dozen more time than necessary, you hop on her mount and are hurried over the walls. You're asked where you want to be let off, and respond-

A) "From 100 feet up"

B) "From 1000 feet up."

C) "As near to the ground as possible."

D) "Look out! Archer!"

 

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1 hour ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

That's what you think, but Pirate is a gender-locked class.

Whoever said we're in a set FE game?

1 hour ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

B) "From 1000 feet up."

The Pegasus knight looks kinda bummed you blew her off. Maybe if you show concern for her safety and impress her you can still get that date. You decide to jump from one thousand feet!

You hurdle towards the ground with your ax arm outstretched, It seems your special class "unusual warrior monk" has granted you the ability to not be one shot.

You now have 1 Hp.

 

A.) Look in your bag for an item.

B.) Rush into the fray head first, you're immortal (maybe, probably)!

C.) Search for a friendly cleric.

D.) Contemplate the concept of "tangelo"

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1 minute ago, ProfImpossible said:

A.) Look in your bag for an item.

You remember that the Queen gave you elixirs. Orange doesn't help in the situation like this (yes, you brough an orange in your bag). You use it and gain fully HP. You chase and kills the enemy's Longbow-wielder Snipers who aimed your Pegasus Knight ally and kills the Bolting-wieder Sage. Now you become Lv.2. Your action by destroying the enemy's backlines made the enemy confused and successfully made the allied force breached the castle's defenses.

In the heat of massive battle, your Pegasus Knight friend slayed in front of you: she beheaded along with her pegasus just in one slash! You couldn't believed what you saw. An enemy's young nobleman who has Wyvern Lord class just kills your friend. He coldly stared at you, "So, it is true that a winged-pony rider before delivered a brave warrior who able to bring chaos to this pathetic fortress." "Ah! That pony was my prey! You are too greedy!", a female high officer in Bow Knight class comes after she killed many of your allied force. "No! NO! ARGH!", the Cleric who was the Pegasus Knight's friend died by the blade of an enemy's ruthless Paladin. The Paladin and his force destroyed your allied forces and bring the enemy's General in front of you. The ruthless Paladin asks the General, "Incompetence maggot! What's your responsibility of this failure?" "F-forgive me milord! I'll do what you say... I have no excuses...", said the General. The Wyvern Lord said to you, "I return this to you." he throw something to your feet. That thing is.... the witch general's head!

You remembered when in hell. Now you know what the true meanings of the hellish wars. The battle is already done when the commander has fallen. You saw your allied force down one by one, perished by the blades and magics of the Wyvern nobleman's forces. You have no choice! You must retreat even there's a change that they may chase you down!

A. Attack the General and run away. Got 20 exp. You suffers 20% damage of your HP.

B. Attack the Bow Knight and run away. Got 40 exp. You suffers 40% damage of your HP.

C. Attack the Paladin and run away. Got 60 exp. You suffers 60% damage of your HP.

D. Attack the Wyvern Lord and run away. Got 80 exp. You suffers 80% damage of your HP.

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1 hour ago, ProfImpossible said:

Whoever said we're in a set FE game?

This guy.

 

13 minutes ago, illegal knight said:

In the heat of massive battle, your Pegasus Knight friend slayed in front of you: she beheaded along with her pegasus just in one slash! You couldn't believed what you saw. An enemy's young nobleman who has Wyvern Lord class just kills your friend.

D) Virgin rage.

Even though it might be suicide, you charge at the Wyvern Lord, steel axe raised high. He nonchalantly raises his lance in front of him so that you impale yourself on it, but his condescending indifference gives way to horror as he sees you charge up the shaft of the lance. It drains eighty percent of your health to do so, but you climb his equally shocked wyvern to reach him and bring down the axe.

2% critical hit activated, you send him to the floor. You can't tell if he's dead or not yet though, because you gotta get the flying unicorn clown kabobs out of there before the other enemy soldiers recover from their mortified awe and attack you.

A) Run away and use elixir. Gotta recover that 80% of your health.

B) Run away and use the tangelo. You have no idea what it does, but it's gotta be something good.

C) Commit grand theft wyvern. Attempt fly away on the noble's steed.

D) Actually, screw running away. You want to make sure that prick is dead. Beat him while he's down. The others? You just made yourself into a shish-kabob and scored a 2% crit because these guys denied you some scoodalypooping. See if they're still willing to try their luck against you.

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27 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

This guy.

Sorry, I should've said "specific game". I meant that the game we're in is not set. I realize our current setting is an FE game like world. Gender specific classes change for game to game was my point. 

27 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

C) Commit grand theft wyvern. Attempt fly away on the noble's steed.

You jump onto the wyvern's back.  As it flies away it tries to buck and throw you off, you need to calm it somehow. Crap! Why didn't you pay more attention in wyvern taming class?

 

How do you calm the beast?

 

A.) Start describing all the skateboard tricks you know.

B.) Feed it the tangelo.

B.) Sing some Sinatra. Everyone loves Sinatra

C.) Whisper sweet nothings into it's ear.

 

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1 minute ago, ProfImpossible said:

D.) Whisper sweet nothings into it's ear.

You lean down to the wyvern's ear and whisper all sorts of kinky stuff to it. It appears that the wyvern really likes that and allows you to take control of it and tell it where to go. It also roars, which translated from Dragon probably means something like "I expect you to carry out those things you said." But you don't know dragon and thus try to find someplace to land.

Where do you land?

A.) In the middle of a sandstorm in the nearby desert.

B.) In a clear field near a village.

C.) On the clouds.

D.) On a castle.

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D.) On a castle

The wyvern flied back to the enemy's castle!!! You heard a wistle. The wyvern lord stands so calmly. Your critical hit seems only a scratch for him. You wonder how high his HP and Def stats. You forgot that the flying beasts are soulbounded with their riders. You tried to control the wyvern but it doesn't work at all! The wyvern lord wields his short axe, while the paladin prepares his short spear and the bow knight aiming you with her bow.

This is disaster! You saw a lake below and you forced to jump. When you jumped down, you must dodge the incoming short axe, short spear, and arrow. You dodge them all but the short spear hit your bag and destroy your last elixir and orange (oh no!!! Orange!!!). You dive and swim away, and the enemy's force lost you out.

You manage to going back to the Witch Queen even you badly injured. You reported to her and she terrified. The enemy's crown prince himself along with his finest generals that was you faced before are the strongest warriors of the enemy's kingdom. No wonder if her force lost the battle. The queen said that no one knew the prince on the border because his forces must be on far south from the border.

Your "contract" has done. After the court bishops heals you, you have your big basket full of oranges. Now you on the country's northwest border while enjoying your oranges (finally!!!). Next, you...

A. Go to the western port

B. Go to the northern village

C. Go to the northeast fort

D. Go to the southwest town

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22 minutes ago, illegal knight said:

D. Go to the southwest town

You decide to go to the town in the southwest. When you walk through the city gates you start to get looks from the townspeople. One of them comes up to speak to you.

"Excuse me, what do you have there?" he says.  "These? Why, these are oranges my friend! The most delicious fruit, the stuff of Bob Hope's nightmares." you exclaim. 

"I see, I would like to purchase them." 

 

A.) Sell the man your hard earned oranges.

B.) Punch the man.

C.) Hmm, oranges must be worth something fierce, start an orange orchard.

D.) Just eat the damn oranges!

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1 hour ago, ProfImpossible said:

Sorry, I should've said "specific game". I meant that the game we're in is not set. I realize our current setting is an FE game like world. Gender specific classes change for game to game was my point.

True, but unlike fighters or Pegasus Knights, there are no games with female pirates.

 

1 minute ago, ProfImpossible said:

C.) Hmm, oranges must be worth something fierce, start an orange orchard.

You almost punch the man for getting between you and your oranges, but you think better of it and offer him a job helping you start an orange orchard instead. He asks if he can be paid in oranges, when the thundering roar of a dragon shakes the air, and then the ground shakes as such a beast lands nearby. Riding the beast- It's the wyvern lord from earlier! And he's heckin' pissed, because-

44 minutes ago, illegal knight said:

flying beasts are soulbounded with their riders.

And you violated the sacred bond between mount and rider with all your kinky wyvern-seducing talk.

A) Ignore him and continue discussing oranges with the more peaceable man

B) Don't wyverns have low res? Just use your light magic

C) Seduce his wyvern again so that it leaves it's master and becomes loyal to you

D) Run like a coward into the town and hide

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hour ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

 

True, but unlike fighters or Pegasus Knights, there are no games with female pirates.

Not yet! Although, coming to think of it, haven't pirates been absent in original games since like the Gameboy days?

You seduce his wyvern again, achieving a B rank! The wyvern bucks the rider and flies to your side. You...

A)Order the Wyvern to attack its former master.

B)Use your light magic.

C)Finally try to eat one of those damn oranges and see if it gives you back your psychic powers!

D)Forgive the man, because that's what monks do.

Edited by Jotari
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10 hours ago, Jotari said:

Not yet! Although, coming to think of it, haven't pirates been absent in original games since like the Gameboy days?

That's exactly my point, that we're not in an established game; the classes can be anything. Huh, I think you're right.

10 hours ago, Jotari said:

D)Forgive the man, because that's what monks do.

You forgive the man, sure he was acting out of revenge and hate, but those emotions were born from a simple love of country and kin (and wyvern). You offer him and orange to eat together as a gesture of peace, and a job as security on your orange orchard. You know what they say, enemies make the strongest friends... or something like that.

What do you do next.

A.) Buy land for your orchard.

B). Make a deal with the devil to get land for your orchard.

C.) Find a spot and start growing baby!

D.) Try to win land in a crooked game of Clue.

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I suppose the traditional gender-locking of classes might not apply when you have War Monks with light magic running around as well as pirates.

7 minutes ago, ProfImpossible said:

C.) Find a spot and start growing baby!

The wyvern guy doesn't seem particularly interested in your offer, he seems well enough off as is anyway. Kinda mad about his wyvern though, says something about getting his revenge and damning you to eternal suffering which you have brought upon yourself? Whatever, you forgave him, it's water under the bridge as far as you're concerned. You go to the backyard of the guy who wanted to buy your oranges and start planting seeds. The sunny climate and nearby spring should do wonders for-hey, wait, what is that guy's name anyway?

A) Alejandro

B) Maximilliano

C) Garcia

D) Martin Cracker

Edited by AnonymousSpeed
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17 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

B) Maximilliano

"That's my Wyvern's name. You almost kissed him before.", the Wyvern Lord smiled. It's looks like he doesn't upset anymore. You felt the golden wyvern laugh at you.

"I see. Well sorry about your steed before. I had no choice. Btw, I'm no longer at the Witch Queen's service. Take it!", you gave the Wyvern Lord an orange.

"So, you are a travelling sellsword then? Thank you. Oranges are rare fruit here." The Wyvern Lord said, "I'm a prince of the kingdom that the Witch Queen tried to invade. She wanted our land and our sacred relics. And I admit you have good potential on battlefields. You also participated when she repelled our counterattack, right?"

You surprised inside. You think that the prince is the ruthless Paladin since he looks a little older than the Wyvern Lord, "Forgive me, your highness. I think the ruthless Paladin is the highest rank before...." "Don't be! I'm not your prince, so just at ease!", said the Wyvern Lord. "Big brother! You visit us again! Please come to our house!", some children approaching the Wyvern Lord. "Yes I will come later. Please say my greetings to your parents!" "Yes big brother!", the children running home. "About the 'ruthless' Paladin that you met before. He lost his young brother and his parents by the witch's forces who raided our western village. If your attack successfull, all the innocent women and children who covering themselves behind the castle walls will not survive. That's why he was so upset. He worried about them. And about the angry Bow Knight, her young innocent siblings ruthlessly killed by the Pegasus Knight which I slayed before. I don't want my general lives by vengeance, so better I did it for her. The Witch Queen's force have no mercy even to the weak or peasants. We have no choice. We must protect our people and someone who dear to us."

You remembered the Pegasus Knight that you flirt before. She fallen before you and your mind became confused when you knew the truth. "The children before are not truly siblings. They are war orphans. Their real siblings and real parents were slayed by the Witch Queen's ravaging forces. Their 'parents' are the old couple who take care of them. They made their house as an orphanage.", the Wyvern Lord said again, "Before I visit them, I acknowledged your remarkable battle skills. Your class also different than any was I met before. I, the prince myself, offering you. Will you join my service? It doesn't matter if temporary. We will hire you. You can have oranges or play with my wyvern as much as you like if you agree. I must go back since this place is not on our kingdom's teritory."

When still confused and felt guilty because never asked the Witch Queen's invading motives, you...

A. Join the Wyvern Prince permanently. Swore loyalty to him.

B. Join the Wyvern Prince temporary (as a mercenary).

C. Politely refuse since you still trauma about the ruthless of war and the truth about this world. Then you will continue your journey.

D. Politely refuse and said you are a "pilgrim" and you just forced to join the Witch Queen's force before. And you want to continue your journey.

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6 hours ago, illegal knight said:

D. Politely refuse and said you are a "pilgrim" and you just forced to join the Witch Queen's force before. And you want to continue your journey.

You ponder this great influx of information. It sounds like a hard decision so you decide to ignore it. You politely refuse the offer, saying you just remembered you had a pilgrimage to be on. Important monk stuff, you explain through your lying teeth.

"Oh really? What religion are you?"

"Oh, the, uh-...my religion does not permit me to answer questions about my religion."

"Ah, a Glordarian. Say no more, I understand. Good luck on your pilgrimage!"

You leave very quickly after that. Time to never go back to that town again.

A) Continue looking for psychic powers

B) Maybe actually find a religion to join or something

C) Look for secret caves and hidden items in the desert

D) Pretend to leave, but really just keep growing oranges

Edited by AnonymousSpeed
I thought of another joke.
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A)Continue looking for psychic powers

You leave the Wyvren lord, although that's probably not a great name for him as the wyvren now refuses to leave your side and keeps giving...suggestive glances. Regardless, it is time, finally, to eat an orange and regain your psychic powers. You peel the skin, slowly, relishing every moment. You take of one segment, open your mouth wide and then...someone falls out of the sky and lands on you. Disorientated, you scramble around the ground looking for your orange. It lies on the ground covered in filth and dirt. You cast your eyes towars the culprit and are shocked to see it's the pegasus knight from before!

A) Immediatly flirt, because that's what you do

B) Scream "Ah! A ghost!" and try to exorcise  her using light magic.

C) Scream "Ah! A ghost!" and try to exorcise her using your axe.

D) Ignore her and eat the orange, even if it is filthy.

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4 minutes ago, Jotari said:

A) Immediatly flirt, because that's what you do

Don't have to be religious to be a quiverfull.

A) "Hey beautiful. Did you just fall from heaven right now?"

B) "Are you dead too? I died myself once, shot myself with psychic finger guns."

C) "I heard your father died in the war. I'm terribly sorry, but if it's any consolation, I'd be glad to let you call me daddy. Please don't ban me."

D) "How would like to go to dinner with Maximilliano and me?"

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15 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

A) "Hey beautiful. Did you just fall from heaven right now?

The pegasus knight rolls her eyes, but you can tell she's into it anyway. She says she's not dead, you idiot. This is what really happened....

A) Aum Staff

B) Outrealms nonsense

C) Body double by Invoke magic

D) She's a goddess!! (Looks like you've got a religion now, sport!)

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1 hour ago, Solvaij said:

D) She's a goddess!! (Looks like you've got a religion now, sport!)

As soon as she tells you this, you remember that you lied to that Wyvern Lord shmuck about having a religion. You plead with the Goddess and ask if you can serve her. She tells you that she doesn't really have any followers, but she always wanted some so why the heck not. You jump for joy as you finally find some purpose in this awful world. The Goddess, realizing that she didn't give you her name and domain, taps you on your shoulder and tells you that she's:

A.) Dionysus, Goddess of Alcohol and Parties (don't ask why he's a she now, it's a long story)

B.) Tangelo, Goddess of the Citrus Fruits

C.) Amaterasu, Goddess of the Sun

D.) Katherine, Goddess of Dragons

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14 minutes ago, IfIHadToPickADude said:

B.) Tangelo, Goddess of the Citrus Fruits

Of course! This is why you've been so drawn to her. She has the same allure and magnetism as the delicious oranges for which you so fervently seek! You have finally found the root of all orange and orange derivative fruits! ( seems like she's kinda into you too)

 

A.) Ask her to take you with her to orange heaven.

B.) Ask her to live with you on your orange orchard.

C.) Ask what a Tangelo really is.

D.) Die again, but happily this time.

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