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There was one day in preschool where my best friend and I were legit the only two people in the entire class! And it wasn't a optional day or anything like that; It was an actual school day! Our teacher was confused as to why nobody else came as well. Thus, my friend and I finally had a chance to use the toys and play the games that the other kids usually hogged.

Ace... again.

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One time I climbed the neighbors' fence and ripped my pants on it and proceeded to tell my mom I hadn't been climbing the fence. With a big hole in my butt and the fabric still hanging there. Wtf, 2 year old logic?

King.

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I went out to eat with a friend one Saturday after work, and there was a huge downpour of rain. Later on, we got a flash flood warning, but that's not important. We went to Chili's, and after we were done eating, I wanted to check out this store that was nearby. It was like a combination of Michael's and Home Goods, with a little bit of christian vibes thrown in there for good measure. We found a comic book version of the bible, $35 dollar throw pillows, "How to Draw" books (which had anime books, one of which showed you how to draw lolis or something), fabric for denim pants, and a bundle of 3 big sticks, the last of which was questionable to me. It was an experience, to say the least.

Queen.

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In freshman year, one of the projects in history was to do a newscast on D-Day. I handled information on the landings, and though it's clearly one of my earlier attempts at presenting (I looked down at the ground too much, I used minimal hand movements. My voice was somewhat monotone), I'd say I did fairly well (my skill in that area that has improved drastically throughout the years). Especially since I memorized all the information and did it from memory without problem.

I will forever facepalm at the fact that I said the 82nd, 101st, and 6th Airborne Divisions landed after the invasion, when in actuality their job was to knock out some of the enemy defenses before the landing! Especially when I read Band of Brothers while recovering from back surgery, which was about the 101st.

The video of it is actually on youtube, although I'm debating whether or not to share it here.

Jack

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One time I decided to ride my bike to the park without telling my parents, went there for awhile, came back and found cop cars in front of my house. My mom had called the cops and reported me missing and it was evening so I guess she thought a pedophile took me or something. I was grounded from my bike for a month.

Ace.

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I don’t remember all of the details, but I do remember the first time I ever stole something.

i was about four and I was briefly at some other kids place. I stole (and got away with it) a small toy car of McDonalds’ mascot at the time, the Moon Man. If you have no idea who that is, just click below:

https://imgur.com/gallery/o558POA

Queen

Edited by SMEDIA
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An activity our class did occasionally in high school at the end of the day was "guess who picked the song." As the name implies, each student submitted a song (with appropriate lyrics) to the teacher, and when everyone provided a song and the teacher found them all, the game started. A random song would play, and the class had to guess who choose it. If they guessed right, the person would have to stand up and sing a few lyrics of the song. If not, well, it was revealed afterwards who chose it, and they kept their diginity didn't have to sing. One guy actually picked "Lost in Thoughts All Alone," believe it or not.

I believe we played three times throughout the school year, and I was only guessed once. The song? It's a Long Way to Tipperary. The other two times we ran out of time before mine where played, but seeing as I selected The People Are The Heroes Now and the Complete History Of The Soviet Union, Arranged To The Melody Of Tetris, it was probably for the best.

Ace

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branching off the whole band theme, i had an absolutely terrible sax while i was in middle school band. bought secondhand, it cost a whole $250, which is very, very cheap. the first month: i was first chair - and then i slowly began dropping. i [like to] believe that i was a good player, but my sax had a disgusting raspy, weird sound to it, which could be attributed to the numerous dents that the sax came with, possible key misalignment,  and also the cheap crappy reeds i was working with and how i preserved those reeds...so i dropped chairs slowly but surely. and then the day  came: i take my sax out of the case, clip it to my neck strap, start walking to my chair....and then, the plastic hook bit of the neckstrap just snaps. poor old saxophone goes crashing to the floor, accumulating more damage to the collection - it sounded bad before, but after this it just sounded terrible. and that was when i dropped band. i'll count this as a blessing since i never had to encounter marching band fun

 

Queen!

Edited by wizzard of soz
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One time I took a spinny office chair out of a classroom and rode it down the ramped floor by the art room and didn't get caught. I felt like a badass ninja.

Queen again.

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On 7/27/2018 at 9:56 PM, wizzard of soz said:

i'll count this as a blessing since i never had to encounter marching band fun

That fortunately reminds me of a story...

During the year of my back surgery, I had recovered to the point were I could walk around without issue, and I didn't need to spend the whole day in a chair. It was fortunate, too, as that right before that time Band camp started up. I had informed my band teacher about my back surgery way ahead of time, and he managed to arrange it so while everyone else would be outside marching, I would be indoors memorizing the music. As I was in percussion, specifically mallets, where we have to memorize our music anyway, this turned out to be a pretty good deal (and those in the pit (the people that didn't march on the field) still earned the physical credit?/grade? that band offered as we had to push and carry all our instruments around when setting up for performances).

However, while I practiced diligently the entire time, the air conditioner was set way too cold, to the point where I had permanent goosebumps (then again, I always have permanent goosebumps) and actually shivered and clattered my teeth at points. I didn't know how to change the temperature, nor did I want to get in trouble for doing so, so I just dealt with it. I still joke that while everyone else was burning to death out in the sun, I was dying of hypothermia (Neo Scavenger joke).

Joker

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I’ll go with King

I briefly tried to go to college, but I had to drop out. While I was in school, I rented out a room in a house. The landlords filled each bedroom with tenants.

Anyway, one of my roommates was an architectural major. Though I was undeclared, I said I was an English major. He started to pay me money to proofread his architecture essays for him.

So as I read his essays, I got pissed at just how horrible his writing and grammar were. It was absolutely ridiculous that he got into that college. I mentioned this to someone else, and they said architects are good at math, not English. Still, I think it’s ridiculous he got into that college.

queen

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One time I sneezed and blew a booger on the desk and the teacher joked about the guy who falls asleep all the time. He was in the class after mine and the teacher said he'd stick to it lol.

King.

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I remember dropping a hit of acid one weeknight. The morning after, in college, I hallucinated that my tie turned into a snake. I was sweating bullets in a room that had a/c on and (thankfully) still lucid enough to excuse myself. I had sworn off most hallucinogens after that episode.

Jack.

Edited by Karimlan
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I forget which birthday it was, but I once had a birthday cake that had a little train on it with frosting that represented train tracks. It was neat, but single-digit age me didn't understand that it was a decoration, and thus pushed the train all around the cake like a normal toy. Fortunately, the cake was still intact and edible, but the frosting on top was definitely ruined. I believe I kept the train because I liked it so much, and played with it from time to time.

Queen

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One day, my dad brought home a bunch of Xbox (the original) games. I misread the title of one as "The Hobby" and thought it was an adventure game about a character that had a "hobby" of adventuring.

I put the game in and apparently the protagonist was from a fantasy race of short people that lived in holes in the ground, and he wasn't particularly adventurous. Until one day, a wizard came by and asked him to go on adventure, and after an accidental invitation to tea, a meeting with thirteen dwarves, and an intense (and playable) dream, the little fellow decided to take up the offer. I later reread the title of the game and looked through the manual, saw that it mentioned a magical ring that turns the wearer invisible, and realised that this was part of the Lord of the Rings.

At the time, I thought that I wasn't allowed to read through the series for so e reason, so when I saw The Hobbit in my dad's library, I stole it and read the book at night, using a puny toy flashlight to see in the dark because I thought my lamp was to conspicuous. And that's how I found one of my favorite books of all time.

By the way, I admitted to my parents that I had read the book. They didn't care, and said I was always allowed to read The Lord of the Rings. They just didn't recommend doing so at a young age.

King

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I got an exhaust burn on my dad's motorcycle once. I never had to go the doctor because the little old lady next door used to be a nurse and had everything left over from when her husband had a transmitter blow up on him. If I look real closely at my leg, I can still see where the burn was.

Jack.

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On Valentine's Day in 5th grade, we had a small chocolate fountain in our classroom for a small party we were having. So I decided that I wanted chocolate, though I learned the hard way that the chocolate in the fountain wasn't solid and that it was very, very hot. I ended up burning my hand, although it was nothing serious.

Queen.

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I read Animal Farm on my own accord without being in the class that had to read it. In detention. Because I was a naughty child.

Queen again.

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During my drivers test (which I needed to complete. I'm not joking.) I didn't get the hint that in a few miles, I would have to be turning left, so I stayed in the right lane while following the speed limit and all the other rules. When the driving instructor said to turn left up ahead, I served over two lanes in order to reach the turn lane in time. Later in the test, I also ran through a yellow light, which wasn't the wisest decision in this scenario, obviously. I was told afterwards that those two things were the reasons I nearly failed, but I successfully passed the driving test by the skin of my teeth, as I did the parking tests and the rest of the driving near perfectly.

Joker

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I'll do a Jack or an Ace, not sure which it fits because I don't know exactly how old I was.

One time me and a neighborhood kid were playing in the sandbox and we were pretending we were making food for the dog out of sand and dumping it on the porch. When the sand disappeared we thought it was actually turning into food behind our backs and the dog was eating it! So we kept it up until my mom came out and yelled at us to stop. She had been coming out and sweeping the porch.

Ace.

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When my younger sister was born, I was more interested in playing with the buttons that lifted the hospital bed (that my mother was laying on) up and down than the news that I now had a younger sibling.

Being fair, though, my mother later told me that I came into the room with a disappointed expression on my face, and it was aimed at her for some reason. So, she showed me the buttons on the hospital beds in an attempt to to get my mind off things, and it worked. 

King

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I worked at a summer camp as a counselor one year (I had been doing it for a couple years prior), and this particular year, we were going for the whole summer... or at least until mid-August or so. Anyway, there was one kid there that had some unique quirks to him (although there were a lot of oddballs at that camp, let me tell you). Everyday, we would take a short-ish field trip to a public pool. One day, when we were getting ready to leave, we had all the kids change in the bathrooms in the stalls so the seats on the bus we used to get to the pool wouldn't get soaked. Well, the same kid mentioned earlier said that he forgot something. So he ran out of the stall to go get it. Problem was... he was naked. Thankfully, one of the older counselors grabbed him in a pool towel and brought him back.

I guess while I'm still on the topic of it, at the same camp, one the younger kids would bring Starbucks coffee to camp each day, and she couldn't have been older than 5 at the time.

Wild times, that year was.

King.

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Me and my brother, during a road trip, went to the campground pool and neither one of us could get the dive stick from the deep end. We tried using the long poled nets to no avail, and we were starting to get frustrated, until a lady saw us struggling and got the dive stick for us! Best swimmer I've ever seen in person.

Joker.

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I'll go with King:

Last month was a check-up for my back surgery to ensure everything was fine (and on a side note, I no longer need to see the doctors about it annually; only when my back causes me problems, which it hasn't done in years!). Considering it was a three hour long drive for what might be a 15-30 minute meeting, my family opted instead to just have a three day vacation in the area. We visited a zoo, a museum, and a water park.

Zoo: We accidentally walked into the ending of a bird show, as suddenly a flock of birds came flying above us as we were moving on to the next location. Also had some fun feeding the birds, as they had these popsicle sticks with bird food on them, and sometimes the birds could climb/fly on to them and you could carry them around a little. Also went to a dolphin show, which was pretty cool. Learned that dolphins have belly buttons, orangutans are surprisingly intelligent and can even use a computer (to an extent), and Red Panda's are called "Fire Foxes" in China.

Museum: One of the rotationary exhibits the musuem had this year was about DC Superheroes, and one the activities was one of those "which hero are you?" things. I got Supergirl if I had powers, and Batman if I didn't, and my sister will never let the fact that I got the former first down. My dad got Mr. Terrific, who was oddly very fitting for him, and we gave him the opposite of a hard time about that. Otherwise, it was a normal, albiet enjoyable, visit to the museum.

If it wasn't obvious, it's much more interesting to see what's in a zoo and musuem than it is to hear about.

Water Park: Found out that being tall has some downsides, and that wearing a shirt to a water park both does and doesn't draw attention from people (and that it is both more and less heavy than you think it would be when wet). Did every water slide there, and basically had to spend 5 to 10 minutes signing a safety wavier to get 3 minutes of water thrust into my eyes on a surfing activity.

There was also a rock climbing wall, which, being in a water park, meant that the climbing rocks were wet and you fell into a pool if you slipped. It's as hard as it sounds, but some of those kids could be mistaken for spiders with how fast and easily they climbed up that thing. I think some of them were excited to see what the tallest/oldest guy in line (and the only one with a beard) could do. I got about halfway up, realised I really should have been braver with rock climbing walls in the past, noticed I was starting to slip, audibly said "NOPE!", and cut my losses by jumping off into the pool. I also showed that I had not swam in several months (and that I wasn't the best swimmer in the first place) as I doggy paddled back to the ladder.

Queen

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