Pick a card!

[indigoasis]

In 6th grade, our English teacher was showing us un-aired Superbowl commercials. It was a video on YouTube showing 10 of them in a list, and one of those commercials was something 6th graders definitely shouldn't have seen. So the commercial went like this:

A guy was getting home from a date with his girlfriend, and he had his car parked inside his garage. Once she left, he got out of the car and made sure the coast was clear. So, you know those little icons cars have that identify who made them? (Ford, Chevy, Subaru, etc.) I don't remember what brand it was, but the guy opened up that icon like a cupboard, and on the inside, it was blurred out. And then the guy started having sex with the car. It's bizarre to say, but that's about the best way I can describe it.

Our teacher rushed to turn the video off before we could really comprehend what was going on.

Jack.

[Dragoncat]

3 hours ago, indigospace said:

A guy was getting home from a date with his girlfriend, and he had his car parked inside his garage. Once she left, he got out of the car and made sure the coast was clear. So, you know those little icons cars have that identify who made them? (Ford, Chevy, Subaru, etc.) I don't remember what brand it was, but the guy opened up that icon like a cupboard, and on the inside, it was blurred out. And then the guy started having sex with the car. It's bizarre to say, but that's about the best way I can describe it.

What the actual fuck.

I was at a summer camp and we went hiking and my mom told me not to drink so much gatorade because I'd have to pee. And I drank a ton. And then we went on the canoes. And my bladder almost exploded. And I was never so happy to see an outhouse in my life.

Queen.

[Hawkwing]

The first time I beat Time Crisis 2 in the arcade was during a friends birthday party. For thirty minutes, every arcade game was free, and I spent all that time trying to complete Time Crisis 2.

Years later, I beat the game again, except with actual money, and I also managed to set a high score on Silent Scope 2.

Queen again.

[Dragoncat]

We had gender swap day for school spirit week and a guy stuffed kleenex in his shirt as fake boobs and the conversation for that whole class period was about said fake boobs.

Ace.

[indigoasis]

When I was around maybe 2 or 3, my mom would bring me to play with a friend that was about a year or 2 older than I was. Apparently I made her mad a lot, but it was all in good fun. I don't remember her at all, but my mom described her as having really blond hair that was wavy-curly I think. She also had really blue eyes.

Now this next part didn't happen in my toddler years, but it connects back. I apologize if I'm breaking the rules a bit here.

So in the beginning of this past August, me and my family went up north to visit relatives. We had to bring our dog with us since my mom doesn't trust anyone outside of our family to do it (Our dog isn't always the friendliest fellow). So while we were staying at the place we were staying at, for a lack of better terms, my mom asked me and my sister if we wanted to go with her to walk the dog. I initially declined, but a minute later, I went to catch up with them. 

We went onto a nearby biking trail, and a while later, we turned back around so we didn't get too far from where we were staying. About halfway back, a girl on a bike shouted behind us "On your left." (That's apparently what you do on bike trails when you're passing behind someone). So eventually, she came back around heading towards us (trails only go so far), and I swear it might've been the same girl from before. Realistically speaking, probably not, but it was still a really cool thing to see someone that could've been the same person. At least, I think it was the same person.

Then my mom told me, "I think she was checking you out."

Jack.

[Dragoncat]

When I was in first grade, I spent all my free time in front of the TV watching Nickelodeon. That changed one day when I heard my parents calling me to come into the living room. I annoyingly said "Whaaaatt?" and then I heard kitten mews and ran into the living room. My grandparents had brought me the kitten I'd been wanting! I named the kitten Scamper and spent my free time playing with her/him (we thought "her" until "she" grew "lumps") instead of watching Nickelodeon all day. Scamper was my first cat. I got him started on milk every morning, and every morning without fail he would meow at 6:30 until he got his milk. One day Scamper went outside and I never saw him again. We looked and looked, never found him. I remember him fondly, even though I've had other cats over the years, I will never forget Scamper because he was my first.

Haven't had a king in awhile, let's do that.

[Hawkwing]

During the winter time, I was driving to college (of the "rushing, but following the speed limit" kind), and very early on I had to take a left turn after seeing that no cars were crossing by. As I turned left, my car did a 360 degree spin (as I had forgotten about the ice), hit a road marker (which may actually still be bent. I need to check), and hit the curb, which thankfully prevented me from spinning off the road. After I realized the vehicle was stopped, I went on my way as if nothing had happened, and managed to get to class on time.

Later that day, my mom was driving home, saw a car bender on the side of the road, and wondered who it belonged to. Her question got answered very quickly when she drove into the driveway, and saw the side of my car. And yes, we did drive over to that part of the road and picked it up.

On a different day, I also drove into a snow pile on the college campus after temporarily loosing control of my car. I just hit the reverse, drove out, and went off to find a parking spot as if it was a normal day.

Joker

[indigoasis]

Shoot, I haven't had enough life experience, and I'm running out of stories, but I can't let the thread die like this. Not on a Joker.

One time when I was at daycare, at the tender age of 4, I was playing on the monkey bars on the playground during recess (or whatever they call recess time at daycare). I tried climbing across, but I couldn't quite make it, and I ended up falling when I was halfway across or so. I landed in a way that ended up breaking my right arm, and that's the only time I've ever broken a bone in my life so far. Anyway, I had to go to the doctor to get a cast. For some reason, I started singing to the doctor. Believe it or not, he was actually impressed. My mom told me that I hadn't cried at all, even when breaking my arm.

My writing with my left hand was also legible, somehow, despite me being right-handed.

King.

[Dragoncat]

Today I tried to make homemade chocolate chip cookies and got this as a result:

They tasted horrible. Welp. I guess that vanilla extract was needed after all. I didn't have any so I tried without it. I'm more annoyed at the fact that I used up two of my butter sticks that I make mac and cheese with.

Queen.

[Hawkwing]

I once entered a bet with a friend over who would win the most rounds in the Guitar Hero multiplayer. However, both of the guitar peripherals he had didn't work, so we had to resort to using Playstation 2 controllers, which...work better than you'd think they would. Still, I wasn't used to playing Guitar Hero that often, much less without the guitar controller, and eventually lost the bet. (I want to say that the bet was that the loser had to download Animal Jams Tunnel Town and then play it for a few weeks, because then I could say that the joke was on him as the game wasn't actually that bad. However, I could be confusing it with a different bet I made with someone else.)

Not that I minded, as I kicked his butt so hard in Dragon Ball Z Budokia Tenkaichi 2 (and I only remember the name because of the internet how much fun I had with the game, despite knowing zilch about Dragon Ball at the time) that he legit cried, and I was no longer allowed to choose which character I could play; I could only use the random select option. Then I had to use less characters than he did. Eventually, he got so tired of loosing that I was no longer allowed to play the game.

Joker

[SMEDIA]

Here’s a story from after high school:

When I was 19, I played the original Star Wars: Battlefront on PS2. I was playing the game and two friends were watching. For amusement purposes, one friend chose to take a shot of either rum or vodka (I forgot which one it was) every time I died and had to respawn. It’s not that I was bad at that game, it’s just that I play recklessly when I have the option to repeatedly respawn as much as I want. Needless to say, that friend got drunk really quickly and said “You’re no good at this game :( “

Joker again

[Dragoncat]

I'll do a Jack.

One time I put lawnmower gas in my mom's car because I was stupid and thought it was the same as car gas. When it wouldn't start I ran and hid next door in the yard of the house nobody lived in, I thought I was dead lol.

Jack again.

[Hawkwing]

For a while, our family visited a friend once a year to watch the Super Bowl. While everyone else was upstairs watching the hilarious commercials, I was down in their basement, playing their Wii, because for several years, this is the only opportunity I would have to play: Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Ace

[Dragoncat]

When I was two me and my parents were picking out a Christmas tree in the parking lot of the grocery store. My dad kept picking the trees up and showing them to my mom, who was in the car with me. After my mom had refused a few trees my dad picked one up, slipped, and fell over the pole that was there. My mom was cracking up and I was crying because I thought my dad was hurt. Needless to say that was the tree we got and nobody complained.

Queen.

Edited August 25, 2018 by Dragoncat

[Hawkwing]

The first time I had ever used a paper and pencil for a video game was in middle school, where there was a logic puzzle in the adventure game Dragonsphere. 8 sprites were flying about, alternating between the colors blue, red, and yellow, and each one said a different thing when asked a question. Some of them lied, while others told the truth, and what they said changed depending on what color they were when you asked the question. Considering that the entire puzzle was figuring out which sprite to ask during a certain color  in order to open a door, I made a table on the piece of paper, methodically questioned each sprite, wrote down what they said, and actually managed to successfully solve the puzzle before I getting all the information. It took an hour, but I'm proud that I managed to solve it without resorting to a guide. And the answer is the same every time, so I just

Spoiler

find Ralph when he's red, and ask if it's safe to cross. He'll say no, and the puzzle is solved.

every time I replay the game to save time.

I also managed to solve the Butterfly kings logic puzzles and riddles my first time through, too.

Jack

[indigoasis]

In 4th grade, we had just gotten back to school from a field trip, after school had already let out for the day. The doors were locked, so we had to wait outside. Parents were there to pick up their kids, and so when my mom came to pick me up, she talked to my teacher. While they were chatting, there were a bunch of clovers scattered around in the grass, so I took that time to find some four leaf clovers. By some dumb luck, I found three of them within the span of a few minutes, and I went to go show my mom. When my teacher saw them, she said that they would be good luck charms for the three upcoming tests we had.

I guess I should also take the time to mention that 3 is my lucky number.

Jack once more.

[Hawkwing]

I forgot what exactly my age was at the time, although it was certainly during the younger years of elementary school, but once during the summer, I thought I saw some dead skin on my left foot. At that time, I just thought that you simply tore off dead skin, and that was it. So I did. And I tore off my skin to the point that I saw red all along my foot. Predictably, I cried a lot during that moment, and I was fortunate that my mother was (and is) a nurse. To this day, it remains among the most painful memories in my entire life.

With that said, I did wear sandals to church the next day, and I wasn't afraid to tell any interested persons why I had bandages around my foot. I did honestly find that kinda cool.

Joker