IfIHadToPickADude Posted December 15, 2018 Share Posted December 15, 2018 Next topic is: Things you shouldn't say as a teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punished Dayni Posted December 16, 2018 Share Posted December 16, 2018 Class? I have no idea what the fuck we're doing, you're on your own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted December 16, 2018 Share Posted December 16, 2018 As a male gym teacher: "All the girls get apples if they massage me." Apparently this actually happened somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_antithesis Posted December 16, 2018 Share Posted December 16, 2018 1 hour ago, Dragoncat said: As a male gym teacher: "All the girls get apples if they massage me." Apparently this actually happened somewhere. Could be worse. I had a Religous Studies teacher who watched child porn in school. He got caught after teaching me for 3 years. Such a shame, as he was actually a great teacher! Anyway, back to the game: "Because I told you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corrobin Posted December 16, 2018 Author Share Posted December 16, 2018 "Alright, we're not learning anything today! Also, this isn't water, it's vodka. You assholes make me wanna drink." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted December 16, 2018 Share Posted December 16, 2018 Spoiler From:Â https://imgur.com/a/DFOm1#M1kp4 Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 At a parent teacher conference: "Your child is the reason I drink and will never graduate so honestly just give up." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 I could probably spam this topic to the next page. . .but let's not do that. "Your child is too stupid to be in general education, just as you are too stupid to be a parent. Have you considered adoption and sterilization?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_antithesis Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 13 hours ago, eclipse said: I could probably spam this topic to the next page. . .but let's not do that. Aw, you're no fun! Â "Alright, time to decide what movie we'll watch. To be fair, we'll use Condorcet voting!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punished Dayni Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 Abbreviated and paraphrased speech given by an actual lecturer: "I'm not your teacher so I'm not going to correct you, I'm not your parents so I'm not going to check you, I'm not a guard so I'm not.... (And so on until)..... and I'm not your priest so I'm not going to fuck you." This was a real speech given to us in 2012. I'm pretty sure he wasn't let near undergrads after that because saying that to a full room who were there to try to understand your material for your exam isn't the best way to express that college isn't the same as a school environment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 51 minutes ago, Dayni said: "I'm not your teacher so I'm not going to correct you, I'm not your parents so I'm not going to check you, I'm not a guard so I'm not.... (And so on until)..... and I'm not your priest so I'm not going to fuck you." "You're lucky I'm protestant, otherwise I wouldn't have found that funny." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punished Dayni Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 16 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said: "You're lucky I'm protestant, otherwise I wouldn't have found that funny." It was not taken as a joke, nosiree. "Alright class, before class I'd like to remind everyone I'm arranging sword lessons during lunch time. Those who are interested signed the indemnity forms right?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 "As you know, we made it out alive. And that's the important thing. I couldn't bear to lose a student on a school trip... Not again." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 "All of you are the future. And the future looks awfully bleak." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 "You can accomplish anything you set your mind to." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_antithesis Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 "Today, we are discussing the benefits and drawbacks of religion in modern society." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 Technically, this is illegal, but don't worry. We'll shred the papers after we're done putting the grades in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted December 19, 2018 Share Posted December 19, 2018 On 12/17/2018 at 4:58 PM, Dayni said: Â "Alright class, before class I'd like to remind everyone I'm arranging sword lessons during lunch time. Those who are interested signed the indemnity forms right?" I want to go to this school. "Everybody put your phone up here. Anyone who doesn't will be counted absent. I will also be going through every phone to check for illegal material and reading text messages to see if you're planning on cheating on the test." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted December 22, 2018 Share Posted December 22, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_antithesis Posted December 22, 2018 Share Posted December 22, 2018 "Alright, we will now verify the normal approximation for the Poisson distribution by using the decay rate of this beta emitter (places source out in the open)." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 "This will be our first time watching the video, so chances are that if you're surprised by what happens, we will too." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_antithesis Posted December 28, 2018 Share Posted December 28, 2018 "I can't be bothered to set two different papers for mocks, so I'm putting you all forwards for the higher paper!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punished Dayni Posted December 30, 2018 Share Posted December 30, 2018 It turns out that the work we'd been doing hasn't been accurate for the past few decades. Took the wrong book as the basis for the material. Apologies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_antithesis Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 "It turns out that mock was pointless, as the exam for that part of the course isn't until next year. Sorry!" Warning: Next post will start a new topic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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