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Innocentmask
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Dress in drag and do the hula! I don't care if any of the opera singers do that or not, but it should provide a good enough diversion.

You ordered your food at Burger King and there's a toenail in it and the restaurant is REALLY busy.

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Chuck the toenail over my shoulder for good luck.

You meet your friend at a dive bar and there's a really loud band playing in the background. You try to whisper something important to your friend about the procedure you are going to have, which is very sensitive and merits being talked about privately, but the restroom is occupied. As the band winds the song down, you lose your patience and yell, "CHARLIE, I WILL BE HAVING MY TESTICLES LAMINATED!" The whole bar, awaiting the next song from the band's set is now within earshot of your interesting predicament, and all eyes are on Charlie and his interesting friend (you). What do you do?

Edited by Karimlan
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Say it louder to get my point across. Who cares what other people think?

A random person has challenged you to a fight in public. They didn't specify what kind of fight, however. A crowd has gathered, and it looks like you have no other options.

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Challenge them to a your mom joke fight. Tell them their mom's so fat when she drives she has to have a pilot car following her that says "oversized load".

There's a snapping turtle in your bathtub!

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Shrug it off; I once dropped a math textbook on my toe, swore, and that was it.

A beautiful girl in class is wearing a dress and giving every guy in class a good look at her underwear. This is happening in the middle of a big test. What do you do?

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Tell her all the guys are looking at her and let her borrow my jacket to cover up.

You have a job interview in ten minutes and all of a sudden you started violently throwing up.

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Puke all over the floor and quickly wipe my hands off on the waiting chair.  Afterwards I pray that the puking stops and if someone asks me about the mess I just tell them, "It was like that when I got here."  Then I'm already one step closer to getting hired!

You have no mouth and you must scream.

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This is a reference to something I know it. I think there's a horror game titled just that?

Scream out my butt I guess?

Your friend is no longer talking to you and you have no idea why or what you might have done.

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This has happened to me before and I went on my phone and posted it. It never happens there.

You're a random bug catcher NPC trainer that got skipped. Now the player has beaten the league and returned to the area you're in, and eye contact happened. Your team is a caterpie that only knows string shot and a metapod that only knows harden. Battle is inevitable...

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I never tried this, but what happens if you throw a Pokéball at your opponents’ Pokémon? In other words, you could disqualify yourself.

Was it legal for foremans of the first factories in England during the Industrial Revolution to beat/whip lazy workers that slept on the job?

Since children need more sleep than adults, then how do children in these factories avoid getting whipped?

Edited by SMEDIA
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If I can afford to care of them, I'll take them in.

You, uh, "borrowed" something that belongs to your sibling. You know that if they find out that you, uh, "borrowed" it, they'll have your head on a silver platter.

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Finish using it and put it back before they notice like a ninja.

There's been break ins in your neighborhood and several of your neighbors have had their TVs and valuables stolen. You haven't been hit yet but you're probably next. The cops are investigating but you still feel unsafe.

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Pawn your TV and valuables, buy/make cardboard copies, booby-trap your house, and have the police station on speed dial. When the robber arrives, they won't know what hit them.

You've been raised from the dead as a skeleton to serve in the army of some necromancer aiming to conquer the world. Thing is, you're apparently the only person around that has any sort of conscience thought beyond "kill things".

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I tell the gangster that there are better, more legitimate ways to earn money that robbing people, and that I'm not worth the trouble. If that fails, I could also try and convince them that I won't call the police afterwards if they let me go and pretend this never happened.

A fictional character just burst into your house and is asking you to download their new mobile game!

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Grab the sharpest knife I can find and cut it off, then go to the hospital and hope I live.

You rescued a kitten and it keeps pooping all over the carpet despite being provided with a litter box.

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