Karimlan Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 (edited) Get a new one. It's 2:45 am. You're a short-order cook, and nearing the last order of an all-night diner's service. A waiter comes in, confused, as he has gotten an order from someone who walks in the diner mercilessly sober. Your waiter is having a panic attack since he has gotten used to serving drunkards or people trying to shake the alcohol from their veins anything, and in comes this guy with specific orders, including how his burger ought to be done. Edited January 10, 2019 by Karimlan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Screw it and do it. An upcoming story project of yours has a blatantly far-left character, but he's a good guy and has good intentions, and is meant to be a harmless parody of Soviet memes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 (edited) Make the overarching moral of your story project as far-left leaning as possible to compliment with the characters. You're on a subway and you have nowhere to sit but the floor. Edited January 10, 2019 by Emperor_Siegfried Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Do it anyway, since I lay on the floor all the time in school anyway. You're currently implementing a completely original fictional currency based on your nation's prices and stuff, and your head is swimming in too many numbers and calculations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 Watch cat videos and take a break. You want to feel the blood of your enemies on your hands, but you do not want to get caught red handed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 Stab myself, since I am my own enemy, and wash my hands afterward and dress the wound so nobody would notice. The ice cream in the fridge is frozen solid, and is hard to scoop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 Sit on it on your couch for a while. You can't find the end of your sellotape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigoasis Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 Get american tape. Your car has become the opposite transmission that it normally is (so automatic to manual, or vice versa), and you don't know how to drive that transmission. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 Well, if it was manual at first, I'd have an easier time. I heard from people around me that drivers start with learning manual, then transition to automatic. You are at the brink of publishing a promising novel, but suddenly a former friend comes knocking with legal repercussions you didn't mean for to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 Change stuff so it's not a problem? A very disgusting lady keeps pooping in your yard while on her morning jogs. This actually happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 Use it as free source of fertilizer. The other person in your living space has used all of the hot water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigoasis Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 Use all of the cold water. There's a banana peel in the middle of the sidewalk and there's no way around it. You're about to step on it and there's no way for you to pull your foot back up in time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 Stomp it into the ground as hard as you can and wipe it around the area of the sidewalk as much as you can until all of the slippery stuff is out of the peel. You keep waking up 30 minutes before your alarm goes off and can't do anything but stare at the ceiling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Don't set your alarm anymore. You're in your house and you keep hearing weird squeaky noises coming from one wall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Keep poking the wall with a fire place poker until it stops. Your plans to overcome your enemies ambitions isn't working out quite as planned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigoasis Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Have a BBQ and invite them over. You've finally met the person of your dreams, and you plan to go to dinner tonight. The problem is that that's the only info you know (so no contact info, and you don't even know what restaurant you're going to). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Go to a restaurant you like. If they are truly the person of your dreams, they will know which restaurant you like to go to. You arrived at the airport and the plane is about to depart, but you forgot your luggage and passport at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Screw it since it was nowhere important anyway. You are offered a bowl of some white substance and you can't tell if it's a bowl of pigeon droppings or melted lemon sorbet and you have no option but to drink it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Lick it with your tongue first to check to see what it is. Then either savor the drink, force it down all at once, or throw it into your captors face. You have a neat idea for a Fire Emblem Heroes unit/character, but you haven't played the game in over a year and have no idea how the skills/mechanics work now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Post it anyway and just say "I haven't played in over a year so this may be inaccurate" You're trying to sleep and there's a noisy bug flying around and you can't see it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Burn the house down and sleep in your car. Your cat licks your lips but you saw your cat licked its butt hole five seconds ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Brush my teeth. A hobo is following you around trying to give you a dollar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 Tell them to keep it and provide advice on how to spend it wisely. Your boomerang didn't come back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigoasis Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 Leave. It'll learn its lesson when it finally decides to come back. You dropped your toothbrush behind the toilet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 (edited) Put toothpaste on it, put it in your mouth, and then you use your teeth to clean the toothbrush. You farted in front of an audience. Edited January 23, 2019 by XRay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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