screenshot Chaos reigns when I take the reins! - Let's play Tear Ring saga, Ironman mode, while being terrible at Fire Emblem!

[BrightBow]

41 minutes ago, Hawkwing said:

While I'm fine with these from a narrative standpoint, I always disliked the gameplay aspect of this in games that have experience or levels and things like that. It means that precious resources go to waste the first time you play, and every other time it becomes unintentionally hilarious just how much you'll avoid using them.

You don't waste any resources actually. Zieg is kind enough to drop everything he carried into the convoy before he leaves. That's how TRS generally handles these things.

Edited April 5, 2019 by BrightBow

[Hawkwing]

8 hours ago, BrightBow said:

You don't waste any resources actually. Zieg is kind enough to drop everything he carried into the convoy before he leaves. That's how TRS generally handles these things.

Good to hear that Tear Ring is kind in that area.

Too bad most videogames that use that trope don't follow its example.

Edited April 6, 2019 by Hawkwing
Spelling Error. The only time in this thread I'll be able to fix one.

[Saint Rubenio]

All right, everybody, voting time is up. Not that much of anyone bothered to vote. With a vote in favor of all my recommendations and one against them all (thanks, Butterman), I guess I'll just be doing what I want. Still surprised you guys decided to send Zach with Runan, tho. That was not what I expected.

In other news, I recently had my internet connection changed for a better one. It appears I was unlucky enough that the new IP we were assigned is banned in this site, because I cannot access it unless it's on my phone with my 4G data. I don't expect this to take too long to fix (thanks to Eclipse for helping me so graciously with this!), but still, felt I should let you know. Please bear with me.

[Aethin]

On 3/29/2019 at 7:14 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Aethin, I know the chance of you reading this is 0.000001%, but... oh, God, release the full thing...! I need more Berwick! More! MORE!

As a matter of fact, I just decided to follow your signature link on a whim and found this thread!  Looking forward to the rest of Holmes and Runan's Excellent Adventure... But holy artichokes, I had not realized just how many typos were still in the game after all this time. One day, I'll have to come back and fix those. Add it to the rest of my list of things to do after I finish Berwick Saga

I also really appreciate all the help you gave me in regards to the Berwick typos. Hopefully, since people are proofreading it as it gets slowly completed, the final product will be much less typo-ridden.

EDIT: I've attached a file containing TRS's script files. It's all still got the event flags and tags in it, but maybe it'll still be better than typing out everything. The catch is that it's all horribly, horribly organized, so I find the best way to find a specific conversation is to take some text without commas or line breaks and batch-search the script for that. Also, here's a folder of all the portraits in the game so you don't have to extract them by hand anymore: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Vqgc4VI3RmEIW4Fhcm8MufmM7o2YK1-Q

trs_text_files.rar

Edited April 8, 2019 by Aethin
christmas has come early

[Saint Rubenio]

7 hours ago, Aethin said:

As a matter of fact, I just decided to follow your signature link on a whim and found this thread! 

Not gonna lie. I was all hyped up for a second, until I clicked the link and recognized the first quote. Bah... Never before have I been so mad because someone I consider to be important noticed me. Why couldn't it have been a Berwick update...?

Jokes aside, I am honored to have you here. I'd love to have you as a stable reader, but I'd love to have Berwick more, so please, do focus on that. Okay? Eh? Eh? ;D

(Just kiddin', making good progress there, take your time. Still, I have to say, that last line from your post on the Berwick thread was just evil. You dastard, you fueled my lust for Berwick even further!)

Anyway, one of the ideas I had before I started this LP was that, on the off chance that you ever read this, Aethin, you'd be able to use this as a "typo repository" of sorts. It was of course not the main objective, but it makes me happy to see that it actually ended up happening. Just... Please, don't ever fix The Roger The Paladin. It's, like, half his character at this point.

About the files, I cannot take a better look at them because I still cannot access the forums from my computer (Eclipse's still working on it, thanks a lot!), but even if I have to abuse ctr+f, this will still be a huge boon. I'm talking single day wait for text updates, two at most. Not this one, of course, due to the whole mess with the fake ban, but I am sure the improvement will quickly become apparent. I cannot thank you enough, Aethin. And the portraits are just the cherry on top of the pie. Thank you so much for all this, christmas truly has come early. I am just sad that we won't get any more "Guardian Dragon Mouse destroyed Nolzeria" situations.

Be it that I could get to exploiting those files to full effect already, but as I said, we're still working on my issues with the site. I'll let you guys know when it's all over. Until then, I beg you to be patient. I'm sorry.

[Hawkwing]

We understand the internet problems. Take your time solving them, we can be patient. Who knows? This may be a blessing in disguise.

[Pengaius]

Take your time Ruben, it's not like I want you to update more frequently, B-Baka. 

But yeah hope you get your crap sorted soon, good luck. 

[The Roger The Paladin]

On 4/7/2019 at 5:23 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

All right, everybody, voting time is up. Not that much of anyone bothered to vote. With a vote in favor of all my recommendations and one against them all (thanks, Butterman), I guess I'll just be doing what I want. Still surprised you guys decided to send Zach with Runan, tho. That was not what I expected.

In other news, I recently had my internet connection changed for a better one. It appears I was unlucky enough that the new IP we were assigned is banned in this site, because I cannot access it unless it's on my phone with my 4G data. I don't expect this to take too long to fix (thanks to Eclipse for helping me so graciously with this!), but still, felt I should let you know. Please bear with me.

Weird. After all this time avoiding being banned, you managed to get a banned IP. Didn't see that coming.

On 4/9/2019 at 4:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Just... Please, don't ever fix The Roger The Paladin. It's, like, half his character at this point.

On 4/8/2019 at 8:27 PM, Aethin said:

Adventure... But holy artichokes, I had not realized just how many typos were still in the game after all this time. One day, I'll have to come back and fix those. Add it to the rest of my list of things to do after I finish Berwick Saga

I am seconding this. Please leave The Roger The Paladin in. That line alone made me a Roger fan. I don't care if it's a typo, it's a work of art and must be preserved for future generations.

[Saint Rubenio]

All right, that took a bit longer than I thought it would, but it's all peachy again now.  Thank Eclipse for that. I'll download Aethin's files and get working on the update. Expect it tomorrow.

The bad news is, I just read through Aethin's files and... man, "disorganized" was one heck of an understatement. I'm thankful for the offer, but I don't think those files will help that much. Still, I'm really grateful for the portraits. Those will help a lot. Besides, I'm having a lot of fun with the names of some portraits.

Seriously, why in the world is this guy called "crossdresser"? Hysterical.

Edited April 13, 2019 by Saint Rubenio

[Aethin]

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

All right, that took a bit longer than I thought it would, but it's all peachy again now.  Thank Eclipse for that. I'll download Aethin's files and get working on the update. Expect it tomorrow.

The bad news is, I just read through Aethin's files and... man, "disorganized" was one heck of an understatement. I'm thankful for the offer, but I don't think those files will help that much. Still, I'm really grateful for the portraits. Those will help a lot. Besides, I'm having a lot of fun with the names of some portraits.

Seriously, why in the world is this guy called "crossdresser"? Hysterical.

Oh well. Glad I could help a little, at least. Sadly, Berwick's files are only marginally better organized. As one friend of mine put it, when it comes to internal organization, the games are basically held together by a combination of plaster and duct tape. For a news update, I'm now nearly finished with the in-chapter dialogue for 9-main.

That particular fellow is from the indoor variant of Chapter 26! I shan't say more than that to avoid gameplay spoilers for other readers.

Only tangengially related, but since you're a Hispanophone (Spanglophone?), I thought you'd find it interesting that in the files, there a handful of unused place names with official English translations--along with exactly one place that is used in the final game: Wellt. Apparently, the intended translation of ウエルト was not "Wellt," but rather "Huerto." I'm sorry, Kaga, but I don't think "vegetable garden" is a good name for a kingdom. We've also got fun unused character names like ロドリゲス "Rodriguez," クワトロ "Cuatro," and エルコンドル "El Cóndor."

Edited April 13, 2019 by Aethin

[Hawkwing]

Glad to see that the internet problems worked out, and am looking forward to the next update!

I also found out that the "send an email for a notification" doesn't work as well as I'd like, and now I'm sad that it'll appear that I followed this later when in truth it was from day one. Oh well, water under the bridge.

[Pengaius]

Huzzah huzzah, the jester has returned (that's you Ruben) come to tell tales of glory and death, of romance and death, of bravery and death, of death and death. Make way, make way, huzzah huzzah!

Hey @Aethin can you please help me force Ruben to use Arkis, cmon you must have holes for eyes to not see how good he is, right. 

[Saint Rubenio]

Part 44 - Bewitching.

Did ya miss me, ya wankers?! Hahahahahahahahah...!

With that reference that (given the nature of this "nintendo anime waifu simulator" forum) I'm sure few will get, it's time to go back into the fray. Thanks for the patience.

I know, I said "expect [the update] tomorrow", but that was a typo. What I really meant to say was "expect it tonight".

Exchange of words:

Spoiler

On 4/4/2019 at 7:24 PM, BrightBow said:

So Sasha really is related to the other Pegasus Knights, huh?

Distantly so, but yes.

I do like how all the sisters were like "Screw family responsibility, we're going to become knights." It's not how you'd usually expect these things to go.

Yeah, normally they just become bad mages. Instead, they're bad fliers. Worse than Sasha, anyway.

And I hear you. Berwick withdrawal really is the worst.

Still hurts. I've found other games to endure, but it still hurts.

 

On 4/4/2019 at 10:44 PM, Dayni said:

......

I mean, I brought this on myself. I'd say I should be impressed.

Hwahahahahah... poor you.

Dangit! Melissa? Martha? Er...

*quickly googles "common irish female names"*

...S... Siobhand-- Siobhan? Aeio... Aoi... Aoife? Cain-- Caoimhe!? Who in the world made these up!?

Anna?

Anna. Yeah, it's Anna, definitely.

......

Still annoyed I forgot that sentence and couldn't edit it. For the second time.

You kinda do it a lot.

(I'm in an arguing rant here, sorry)

Wastes no time? He took most of his life to pull this off! His plan also involves recreating an empire to pull this off, so he could also be accused of theft from Manfroy and Gharnef he's pretty reliant on using the Zoans and things falling into place for his plan to work. He's certainly been thorough, but if something went wrong and he'd been caught earlier on there's a good chance he'd never get to the stage we see him at, leading the resurgent Gerxel cult and influencing Canaan while building up to his endgame.

  Reveal hidden contents

Besides, he didn't even actually win, because he didn't get that seal fully broken and 3 dicks and a pussy got their pokes in.

If it weren't for a certain person though.... (And that is why Tia and Sennet needed their stories told.)

To be fair, he did this within a mortal lifespan. As an aside, one thing in Nergal's favour is he'd pushed against mortality, not to knock what Guenchaos does does in his mortal lifespan. On Elbert, Guenchaos's defence comes from the Zahaak, which opponents can't counter, while what Elbert did couldn't have been stopped even with the Zahaak as Elbert initiated (sacrificing himself as Kaga intended). Nergal with that would be about as dangerous honestly.

Aside No. 2, Guenchaos's influencing dragons is also something he has in his favour, considering how much of his plans used that at least once (but then again bloody POEM could do this, isn't not like Guenchaos was unique here). Imagine if Nergal had that to work with, Elibe would have been cinders.

It's not like Nergal only had his servants doing things, but for him his main goal was getting everything together as needed, no need for keeping an empire up (which he had morphs like Denning deal with. That you can hold against Nergal though). He was also enough of a threat that Athos (who'd probably break several of these sages himself at once, be honest because he's just ridiculous) had struggled to hold him off. Nergal had 2 far more powerful sages while Guenchaos had 6, most of whom were past their prime and seemingly frail enough to be easy targets. His goals also differ from Guenchaos's, both before and after Nergal want crazy: Nergal wanted to be strong enough to actually contain the dragon's power after bringing them in, which would require actually having enough to pull both tasks off and meant he needed sufficient quintessence he couldn't spend on murdering the Lycian dolts. Guenchaos only needed to be a strong as his human threats.

  Reveal hidden contents

Guenchaos wanted to just kill everyone as a dragon and live with his dragon gf forever.

I'll be honest, if it weren't for the extenuating circumstances Guenchaos could actually have been boring. He's the more tragic villain, but I still feel more sympathy for Nergal when you get down to it: Guenchaos hadn't gone completely mad, he'd been more sane and an out and out nihilist due to his events. Probably doesn't help he never got a dose of pain from an equal (the coward).

(To be fair, I'm being harsh on Guenchaos here. I don not hate him, just feel that Nergal isn't as terrible as he's made out to be. Oh, he's probably not the top tier of FE main villains, don't get me wrong.)

I mean, I was really half-joking when I put Nergal down like that. Using Ninian against Eliwood was actually a pretty damn good move to demoralize the guy and his friends. He wasn't all bad, it's just that it's the joke that I hate FE7 and everything in it, at this point.

Why do you think he was poisoned?

Ah, of course.

An actual good Thracia translation will be out sooner (No, that's not a joke. Project Exile is 5 chapters away and that's a bit less text than what Berwick uses.)

I am aware. Perhaps I'll tackle that one, if it comes out soon enough.

I still think it doesn't stand.

Holmes didn't doom the galaxy.

Are you sure about that? He's stupid enough to do it...

I'll admit I've forgotten. Till later then.

Hah, oh well...

Well, you yourself wanted to use only bad units.....

I make exceptions for people I like.

I mean, it's still not as maddening as with Raigh.

Raigh was an awful casualty.

I mean, are any of them Anankos?

Then no, they really fucking aren't.

At least Anankos had his own face, right? That's all I'll say for now.

His hands go through Indy.

Indy didn't give consent!

Oh, I see...

I mean, it's happened elsewhere.

Unlike most places, not for much longer.

I envy them.

I'm disappointed you didn't edit this sprite.

Also, on their reactions, maybe they'd accepted death mentally but couldn't take just offing themselves.

Might be.

Well it'd be new to FE as a whole I think.

(There's something similar in RD apparently. I haven't gotten that far though)

I'm pretty sure it has something to do with Pelleas, but as far as Pelleas goes, you can pretty much assume everything in his life is terrible and you'd be right.

Maybe the game assumed he died to Ahab.

Pffft. Such disrespect.

Please do more of this. I love this. So much.

In many ways Vestaria feels like a letdown, Berwick would have been truly amazing to see localised (Maybe we should contact Enterbrain about this, I think they'd still have the rights.)

I've seen Vestaria, and I have to agree, it didn't look as amazing as Berwick. And I doubt Kaga would want to localize Berwick at this stage, given that it's such an old game for a discontinued system. He's retired, too, so a remake is also out of question, I think.

Still, Aethin's doing a wonderful job, I think we can count on him. I've seen fanslations that feel official before (Mother 3 and Ace Attorney Investigations 2 come to mind), and Aethin's work is looking to be up there in terms of quality, so there's that.

Holmes actually being a bit funny.

*Looks outside

Nope, no apocalypse yet.

Maybe it was a tiny apocalypse, localized entirely within my router. It killed my rights to enter the forum. Eclipse had to go to the Wyvern's Dale to find the Aum.

This is, from here on, LP canon.

I've been waiting for this fucking moment.

It also means you're getting a unit who can be hilariously broken. Oh boy I can't wait.

Neither can I.

I mean, her design's alright and all, but her gameplay...... I can't wait to discuss it!

Neither can I.

I'll still consider San, but who knows, I could be wrong.

You are, I am right. ...Me! No one else!

I can't believe I'm having to lie about that but smile and wave.

Poor Runan, too good a guy to cut ties.

I mean, I think there was a bit.

Nowhere near as developed as would be great, but still.

Yes, there were some bits and pieces. Oh, well. Guess we'll have to make do with what we have.

Zeig: The actual traitorous dick.

(I've been waiting to say that)

Hahah, oh, poor Zieg, c'mon.

I see the exposition swamp still catches people.

Also, I get first mention. I don't know how to feel about that (probably better than Butter Pengaius). I'll get some more of that Shaggy stuff.

Just be glad I got your name right this time around.

Man, Kaga was hit and miss on his people interactions, even at this late stage.

I have to assume he got better by Berwick. He had 4 years after this game.

Yes, he did get better. Do not doubt it for a moment.

I mean, Sasha doesn't have the beck for it, so I say you're wrong on that face being horror and disgust.

(Don't worry, I'd make the same mistake.)

Oh, you...

I think she just did, no point in lying about it.

This could have went down worse.

A lot so.

Mayheps I was right on there being something new.

Heh, well...

This is how it starts?

Well shit, Eugen's 

Aaand there we go, unfinished sentence.

I think it needed some visual/audio cue:

No, but I think the Takumi Plop is about the same as how Holmes reacted.

Eugen's too good. He's the hero we need, but don't deserve.

I mean, Titania, but still, best of the ones who can't fight? Probably.

Titania doesn't kick Shinon's ass into next sunday, does she? Then she's worse than Eugen.

Unfortunately, Guenchaos has Zahaak to prevent Eugen's sass.

I'm sure he'd find a way to do it.

I miss Matthis the goof who was useless.

Yeah, at times I do go too far with the depressing talk, don't I.

Man continuity lockout's affecting the characters!

If I've gotten anything out of this whole LPing thing, it's some sympathy for people who write themselves into corners. FE12 wasn't good for this lore, not at all...

I mean, Arran knows what shit feels like, even if he didn't see the person he was the most interested in get downed by hundreds of arrows.

Nah, instead he was the one downing people's loved ones.

I fucking knew something was up.

I did hint at it. Quite often.

.....Did they really let Progeny of Etzel take this?

This could only end-

Pretzel: The man who let the idea of others equal to Marth ruin him.

Even when his game and LP are over, he still fucks things up. Damnit, Pretzel!

Why does this sound like Pretzel got some malign help?

If so, where?

Who knows... maybe he resurrected Gharnef again. Again.

(And I thought Douglas having to be by the king's side made him do mad things)

Can't have to chase after the king if he can't move, right?

(And fuck me, Marth being aware of being a statue. That's fucked right up)

Right?

Oh shit, it's the yandere ending.

More or less, yes.

Oh jeez, are you ready to start praising Pesco as perfect?

Pesco?

I mean, it certainly would be.

Seeing everyone else just die horribly.

Yeah...

Well, he certainly can't redeem himself in his alternate timeline.

Oof...!

(Would Matthis have saved the world there?)

Maybe.

Dangit Matthis, ruining best manakete.

C'mon, cut him some slack, he's had a rough week.

No Katri? Maybe this way she can get over Holmies.

We can only hope.

I'll vote San to spite you. :P

Why, you little...!

I don't see any objections here (Yep, I'm on board with all these).

Cool.

As an aside for the rest:

Whichever of San/Esther is promoted should go with Runan, the other with Holmes.

Zachariah and Alicia could be useful for Runan.

Zach? Huh. Okay.

The thieves will have their uses on a certain map for Runan (considering one of them has an inaccessible even, I think at least one will do).

I mean, (spoiler) does join us then.

The others can stick with Holmes (And yes, please try Frau).

How about nah?

Shigen

I talked about that already.

 

On 5/4/2019 at 2:01 AM, Pengaius said:

I don't really have anything to say about the whole textdump sorry

Damn you...! Nah, just kidding.

My picks for the route split

  Reveal hidden contents

Runan and the crew you're forcing on him, Arkis with the knights crest, Rossellini (to set kills up for Arkis) those not with Holmes.

Holmes: Sasha, Norton, Kate, Tom, Julia, Garo, Leonie, Mintz, Esther, San, Maruj, Rishel, Plum, Lee, Meriel, Lionheart, Raphael, Raffin, the Lance dude who can gain mov, and everyone else goes with Runan 

So basically the exact opposite to everything I said, except--

Wait... Rossellini?

Oh sweet crap it's supposed to say Rishel not Rossellini, how does that even happen?

Yeah, how did you manage to screw up his name more than the old translation? It takes a lot of talent to one-up the old translation there!

 

On 5/4/2019 at 7:24 AM, eclipse said:

My only request is that Esther and San should be on different routes.  And yes, promote Esther~!

Request granted. Well, the first. As for the second one, we'll see.

 

On 5/4/2019 at 7:25 AM, Mad-manakete said:

Well, Laughing Sports Man is a better character name than "Cloud" or "Squall" because it's not a random meteorology term.

Agreed.

Sort of. See, it originates from the fact my brother once played a trick where he took a "Superior Spider-man" flier from a comic store and put it in the front of a copy of the Deadpool game in a store and it just stayed like that because no one cared. So I decided to one up him by taking something I'd previously made as a shitpost about Sonic fan characters and printing it, and throwing it into a box for Sonic the Hedgehog for the Mega Drive at a Retro Game Store. Later that copy sold, and to my surprise recently turned up again, picture and all at a pawnbroker... before selling again. Doing a google search, it also appears to have had an outing on 4chan at some point.

Hahah, What a story, Mark.

Dolza was in that run by coincidence. He suffered from not being able to double during the latter half of the game, needed that ward that prevents crits due to having 4 luck, and was doubled by most enemies. Meant buying a lot of killer axes so he could just one shot things as much as possible... and picking his battles carefully. Rennac's biggest use there was as a support bot for Dolza

Dozla's an awesome character, and I love his portrait and sprite. It's just a shame he has 9 base speed.

Honestly, when it comes to Castlevania, I like most of the series. Not so much the Adventure on Game Boy, Castlevania 64 (Legacy of Darkness is actually playable though), Lament of Innocence or Lords of Shadow 1&2.

I've only played two games, so... maybe I should try everyone's beloved SoTN now that I've figured out how to use PCSX2.

Improbable on the grounds that despite that French grandmother, I've never been anywhere near France.

And I've got a French mother and can't speak French to save my life. Funny.

Though when you think about it, his life was still ruined by Est. It just was the type to lead to a quick death this time.

Aw, shiet...

Castlevania II comes to mind. Sure it's cryptic, but if it didn't exist, Metroidvania's wouldn't have been inspired by it. Then Ecclesia wouldn't exist. Neither would the Morning Sun quote seeing as it originates from Castlevania II and was referenced in Ecclesia.

Ah, a world without Barlowe... a grim reality, indeed.

Only part French. Which leads to a funny story where my younger brother was mocking the French, got told he was 1/8th French, and responded that he'd drain 1/8th of his blood so he wouldn't be. Something I continue to mock to this day.

What a patriot.

I have no idea. It's the real mystery of the Emblem

Hwahahah... oh, Camus.

I'm in a fairly good position with not being found namewise. I recently had a trip to a doctor where a patient with the same name got mixed up with me and they seriously asked if I was born in 1933 as a consequence. Leading to jokes about me being older than my own parents.

"My, you look awfully young for a 90 year old!"

"...doc, please."

Obviously he had real fire, because he just walked onto the site. But it's fine, because they were fighting bandits. Best I can guess after that is that mages have some sort of control over the intensity of their spells and it's gameplay/story segregation that they don't let them become fatal. To be honest, explaining magic becomes either a cop-out or a contradiction in all but the rarest cases.

I can get behind that explanation.

It'd be hilarious if you went to France and kidnapped some random thinking it were me. "You have a dog. You must be the right guy".

Yeah, it'd be hilarious, indeed... heh... heh, heh... ahem. Urgh..

Reminds me of the old (late 1800s) theory I read about poltergeists and the fact they were actually psychic manifestations of women's repressed sexual urges. Upon the theory being countered by an account of a single man being tormented by poltergeists, the writer of said theory claimed that the man must be a homosexual and it still counts. While there was no account as to whether the man in question was, I find it funny how it's "well how do you explain me then" "you must be gay". Wonder why occultism isn't considered a credible science with that method.

Pffft. Oh, goodness...

Didn't you just elect to remain neutral?

Yeah, but this had nothing to do with my neutrality.

Closest we ever got was the toilet hand in Majora's Mask who has his "Ho. You saved me" line from Wand of Gamelon. Not that I didn't already do a far from the forest thread about that claiming it was him. Coincidentally, the deku scrubs at the deku play spot in North Clock Town have the "just so long as you have enough Rupees" paraphrase of Morshu's line. Not to forget his mustache. I know it's probably a coincidence, but I can't help but wonder some times.

Morshu deserved a game for himself, to be honest.

How are they "daddies" when one of them is female? I'm so confused. Is there something Maria senior isn't telling us?

Nevermind. Queen Mario it is.

Hwahahahahahahahahah...

He didn't read the spoilers, and is a better man for it.

Yeah.

But you just said that in fiction water = safety. What did Renee fall in?

Ooohhh, you're right!

So basically Orson but with enough chapters to actually matter, and a consequence of use other than exp waste.

Hey, leave Orson alone. He may get little screentime, but the guy's my second favourite villain from FE8, just behind Lyon.

He's assumed that Martel's name means she's stupid and has forgot, even though she made reference to it. On a side note, seems like Martel is a name just destined to cause something to go wrong, whether it's the dumbest plan in the history of Fire Emblem, or a literal family tree discussion. I can't help but wonder if Kaga's notes didn't say "Martel causes dumb exposition" and IS just winged it off that for a chapter of Binding Blade.

Now that's amazing. Especially so considering that Martel's chapter was the one that had the first part of the "Zephiel backstory" exposition dump.

That poor Wyvern didn't know what it signed on for.

And now it's too late to escape. Mostly because Sasha sleeps on it with a sword around its neck.

And on that day, Holmes got brain damage. Whether it would make him more or less intelligent time could only tell.

He already hit rock bottom, so... only way is up!

Why can I see this alternate world Pretzel as a future villain? The horror of watching a bad joke turn into a nightmare.

Ah, perhaps...

 

On 5/4/2019 at 2:15 PM, BrightBow said:

Are you trying to get Ruben to kill Arkis out of spite?

That's probably it.

 

On 5/4/2019 at 9:27 PM, Hawkwing said:

Yeah, I saw you mention that elsewhere.

I don't know the full extent of how playing that game will affect this lets play. Other than fewer delays.

I was going to say "yes", but Serenes wasn't having that.

Indy-Jones, Indy-Jones, does whatever an archaeologist does.
Throw the whip, over pits. He punches nazi's until they die.
Watch out, here comes Indy-Jones.

Is he strong? Listen Bud. He survived a nuke that wasn't a dud.
Can he swing, from a whip? You saw from the camera that was under the "pit".
Hey there, it's Indiana Jones.

In the chill of the night, there are snakes at the site.
He faces his fears to do what's right, and saves the day every time.

Indy-Jones, Indy-Jones, famous archaeologist Indiana Jones.
Wealth and fame, he ignores, seeing it in a museum is its own reward.
Look out, here comes Indiana Jones.

Indy-Jones, Indy-Jones, famous archaeologist Indiana Jones.
Wealth and fame, he ignores, punching nazi's is its own reward.
To him, searching temples is a career, in places where men run from fear
You'll find Indiana Jones!

...

I actually made that up on the spot, although I referenced the original song several times.

I would pay to see that made into an actual song. 10/10 would play Indiana Jones for an april fools update again.

I'm curious when it was made now. And if you'd actually do a full lets play of the game one day.

In april fools, actually. I don't think I'll do a full let's play of that game. I'd love to, but it's not a very good game for screenshots.

Honestly, it's just Alm's part and the plan to eventually kill the gods that's convoluted. The idea of starting a total war to unite the continent is much more straightforward, and the part I like more.

Yeah, I agree that that part is good. It's just Alm that kinda reeks of Deus Ex Prophecy.

Agreed. It is important to "be as shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves."- Matthew 10:16 (not the full verse).

I am as shrewd as a snake and innocent as a dove. If I wasn't innocent, I would know better than to try and make FE LPs when my skill is middling at best.

More a half-joke about wisdom looking observing many angles of life. I'll let the only one qualified to be the judge do that job.

There's only one that's qualified to judge, you say? That's quite the absolute statement.

I'll have you know, only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.

I don't know. Honestly, the only one that doesn't look like crap is the very first one, which is pretty much just a quick sword fight, and the models look much better in action than standing still. Well, okay, the cutscene where Jedah and Duma first converse is alright, but that's only because it's short and there's not much to it. And animation in the start up menu is nice, but again, it's simple and there's not much to critique. None of these have voice acting the the scene itself, either.

Honestly, what was so wrong with the good ol' portraits and occasional scripted battles?

This was worth the wait.

This was worth every wait.

This was worth even the 9 month wait to come out of mommy's womb, and the subsequent 2X(?) years of your life leading up to this point.

Might explain why he's alone so much. And why he can think he can get away with stealing from Eugen. To Narcus, he was just an NPC quest giver that would only appear once or twice, and he may as well take the Elder Scrolls route towards heroism while he has the chance.

Well, we know Holmes could not withstand Eugen's might. I doubt Narcus will be much better off.

Lets compromise and say purplish-red.

Oki-dokie.

I mean, the abundance of healing items and skills in Gaiden/Echoes mean that the cost of summoning them is pretty small, so there's not really a penalty for doing so. And they do have a use as distraction cannon fodder, and are downright necessary when fighting the first necrodragon.

 Genny's soldiers do become less useful as the game goes on, though, because soldiers are stuck with 4 move and are killed pitifully easily. Tatiana's Pegasus knights have a similar problem of dying easily, but at least their flying makes up for it. And Silque has the opposite problem of summoning Dread Fighters (I.E. the best class in the game), which mean that they can kill things a little too easily. Although a cleric having a summonable army of ninja's in hilarious to think about.

FE8's summons are fodder, plain and simple. They'd be better in a game with a higher difficulty. Currently playing through FE8 with increased enemy growths (15%), and man, Knoll was the only reason I beat chapter 16 and its long-range Sages.

They are. I know they're in the middle of making the sixth and final game, as well as remastering the previous ones.

I remember. Been a while since I last checked their progress.

Now at 74 views.

It'll be a million one day, I have faith.

Violence is versatile in how it can be applied. It can be cartoony, realistic, gory, bloodless. It can be used for a wide variety of purposes, such showing that war is hell, or disgusting people, or getting genuine laughs with slapstick, and countless other examples.

Meanwhile, sexual topics are about the same crap every time. All it gets is a new coat of paint every few years.

I've got to agree, mostly. Though I think it is possible to do a good dirty joke.

Killer Instinct is pretty much "Combos: The Video Game". And I love it, even if I don't have the ability to play it at the moment.

Hah, I see.

I'm more surprised by how the rest somehow fit God in there. I have no idea what the context is from those few phrases, but it is fun it think about.

Also, I looked at that book out of curiosity. It's one of those "we name a book after one scene in our lives" kind of things.

Ergh... why, exactly, did that guy's trampoline have 16 chickens on it?

Except I never let my guard down. I only accepted the apology and gave a warning.

On 27/12/2018 at 3:06 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, well... you never lower your guard, not even in a place like this. Perhaps I should learn from you.

It's in places like this that one must be particularly on guard.

Hawkwing is Vega confirmed.

Magic sword and telekinesis.

How boorish.

Humility is a virtue.

Hey, if I did not have any humility, these LPs'd be a lot different.

I am paradoxical on violence. I hate it when things that could be rated T get an M rating just because they add blood or swearing, yet I can look at both over-the-top and down-to-earth examples of gore without flinching, and yet I am still disgusted by medical scenes in TV Shows and movies. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

I'd say that's because medical scenes tend to feel a lot more real and "relatable", in a way, than gore scenes. Most people who are still breathing have never had their throat cut, but everyone knows the terror of needles, for example.

Also, I don't plan on ever getting married, so scaring a girlfriend is impossible.

Then you'll scare, uh... the priest! For example!

It was written by several different prophets, disciples, and record keepers since pretty much the literal beginning of time.

Yeah, well, who was the editor? He should've known better than not to edit all those things out.

And that's not the strangest example of justice in the Bible.

The Bible's one fucked up book.

Camus asked Conrad for his mask, to which he replied "are you serious?", to which Zeke took and ran with.

And he remained faithful to his wife, and probably told her that he had loose ends to take care of. It does say that he always returned to her in Tatiana's ending. Although if she dies, then Camus has all the time in the world for Mystery of the Emblem.

Sooo Tatiana is canonically dead? That's so depressing.

Nah, let's just say she, just like everyone else, had him completely figured out, but didn't have the heart to say "Zeke, my dear, I love you, but you have obviously recovered your memories and are going back to Archanea to deal with the loose ends you left behind. Why you insist on trying to keep this hidden from me is beyond my understanding".

I mean, I kinda guessed that when I saw your youtube username.

Oh, right.

Same situation, although that's more because I share my name with the first recorded person in my family line than anything else. That, and SF is really the only "social media" presence I have.

Mine as well, aside from Steam.

Darn you, youtube "sign in to watch this"! Don't you know that my suggestion box is as chaotic enough as it is?!

I'll probably watch someones reaction to it or something to get around it.

*Later*

I don't know what I'm more surprised by; the fact that you know what this is, or that a show this morbid exists.

I watched it in its entirety when I was 12. I should watch it again some time. It was awesome.

I am curious about how much blood the human body actually spurts when dead. In fiction, it either seems to be too much or too little.

Probably nothing like this.

It helps that I played the game before. And because it was April Fools, I could get away with goofier comments.

You can always get away with goofier comments. This whole thing is goofy in general.

Well I made these two/three things so far:

  Reveal hidden contents

I'm not a big fan of that magic wand thing. It's a little to frigidity to get a use out of, and I end up erasing stuff by hand most of the time.

Still, I really like how this one turned out.

 

(I feel like this whenever I post pictures. Darn you, attachment space)

I had to screenshot the trampoline ones because otherwise they looked like this:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Isn't technology a joy?

Not certain which one I like more. The first one looks a little like the taguel sunk into the trampoline, but the second looks more obvious that I pasted something there, not to mention the shading issues that I swear will be my worse nightmare when drawing anything electronically.

How did you manage to turn a meme into a Picasso mess?

I have. And considering how long these take to come out at times, I do not blame you in the slightest.

Good to hear.

For better and worse. I'm at the two-hour-thirty-minute mark of writing at the moment.

Jeez!

Right. I hated that power generator maze. I have not played this game in too long.

I love it, actually. The AI is not ready for that maze.

Guess you just chopped up the sharks with the machete like I do.

That's it, alongside some bullets when I didn't feel like it.

The joke excuse. Hilarious, but it can have a darker side depending on how it's used.

Darker side? Enlighten me.

Well, annoying that you failed to throw them over the edge. No matter the video game, that will never get old.

There's no such thing as "annoying" when it comes to IJET. Everything about it's just pure joy.

Your version of Vahalla would be you playing the game for all eternity with foes that would never die, wouldn't it?

Frankly? Not just this one. It'd be a perfect world where I can play every single game in existance with a perfect degree of accuracy to the original product, where I understand every language, where I can erase all my memories of games to experience them for the first time again.

That would truly be heaven. Ah...

Right, I forgot that it was the second game I played where canteens have magical healing powers.

Man, I need to play this game again. Perhaps once I have the thing known as free time again.

That's what you get for being a collegeman. I mean, you'll also get a future, with any luck, but... I do not envy you poor tortured souls.

I see. So it wasn't a typo earlier...

Not at all.

Its a joke about how many times I've been ninja'd in forum games. It's almost as if I haven't officially participated in topic until someone posts seconds before I do.

Ah, I see.

I think I accidentally exited out of a God of War 4 video of all the bosses (haven't played the game, but the spectacle is fun to watch) and Blustone's April Fools day joke, so that wasn't even all of them. I am curious if there is some truth to the joke that White Island will come to Steam, though, as the fishing minigame joke they made last year eventually became an actual thing.

If it's April Fools, you should first check the comments. If everyone's saying "man, something serious in April Fools?! Unbelievable!", then it's probably true.

This is worth the price of admission alone.

Hahah, right? I'm still patting myself on the back for the Kevin Spacey detail.

So daylight savings time, basically?

Yes. It's awful.

Ah, these jokes. They rarely get old.

I love 'em, myself.

Holmes will take any participation award.

Those are the only ones he ever gets.

Poor Zach. He learned the art of ninja ones way out of the plot, but forgot to learn how to come back in.

Alas, he meddled with powers beyond his understanding.

Why would gargoyles have nests?

To sleep?

He doesn't look like he spent years in a cell. Heck, my hair is more messed up when I wake up in the morning.

Let's just say Zachariah brought him razors and combs. And a mirror. Considering Ahab didn't even want to hurt them so bad, I can't imagine it was so difficult. He probably pretended not to know that he was helping them out.

Wonder if it will be brought up in the inevitable "fade to black to explain something the player already knows".

Nnnnnnope.

This made me choke. Jesus, I had such a stroke of genius that day.

Which parent indeed.

I wonder what a family trip would look like with them and how painful it would be to watch.

Dagnell's going to need the patience of a saint to endure the years to come.

I think this trope is actually common, but it depends on where you look.

Hmm...

I forgot Juni existed. Not really, but I just remembered her as "bad back-up thief".

That's mostly what she is. She'll get some characterization down the line, actually. It's going to be funny, seeing characters I don't even use getting more time under the spotlight than the ones I do use.

The king doesn't know that... yet.

And he never will, considering everyone in the continent seems to be convinced that Holmes did something.

It's as if it he was supposed to die, had his life prolonged for a while longer by Katri, told us what we know, and then died anyway afterwards. That, or he left to wander and not actually join you.

Wonder if it was a last minute change to have Zachariah be playable.

Interesting point you've brought up. I wonder, too...

Agreed. Ah, the days when DLC wasn't a thing. How we miss you, despite your imperfections.

Patches are a great thing. The problem is that they've allowed companies to get even more greedy than before.

On Runan's route.

Seems like a mistake on Kaga's part. Even he preferred Runan, it seems.

Either that, or if Attrom survives, he mentions Meriel at some point. Attrom's death continues to screw everything up.

The inevitable Saint Rubenio Lets Play will be a joy to see, I can tell. Even if it may be several months to a year, it'll be worth the wait.

Ah, it'd be a difficult beast to LP... but I'd love to do it. But first, the translation must be completed, and I must finish my first run.

Nah, Holmes is just aiming to add another sidequest to his quest list. It's always a good idea to get some extra rewards on the way towards completing the main objective, is it not?

I suppose so...

Please make this type consistent throughout the LP. Please.

If I remember to, yes, I will.

That... I... question what the thought process behind this was, but it seems like there was an aim to make sure that it was balanced and that the player wasn't screwed over for not doing something obscure.

Shame you would only find this out by accident or by looking it up somewhere.

You still get the reward if Shigen doesn't die, only later, so... probably intended as an easter egg of sorts.

Guess he is somewhat surprised by his death after all.

Yup.

Well, when your friend has a weapon that prevents them from dying, I imagine that their actually death would be difficult to accept.

Except Shigen doesn't die from this.

Yeah... Holmes is just dumb and doesn't see the witch warping in and out with bright flashing lights. But that ain't no news.

It's alright. 

Sonya has the better costume for being a recruitable dark mage.

Ah, well. I still like Lyon better, honestly. Those cape games of his are just mad.

Why was I mentioned?

Because you're not interested, so you can provide an objective view. No offense sorry not sorry heheh.

His idle pose makes it look like he's going to do one of those stupid walks where they swing their arms left and right in an exaggerated manner.

It does lack Maruj's charm, I agree.

Stupid Rossellini, thinking he can match Maruj.

Why does it look like a medieval tapestry sun?

Because this game is dumb at times.

This got a bigger laugh out of me than it should. Poor Zach.

It's sad, but funny at the same time.

Prayer, grace, and patience are how you get through years of imprisonment. Admittedly, those are more effective if you're being imprisoned because of your faith.

Zach probably brought them some books, to be fair.

He always plays an important part. Even though it's a can of worms using Him in fiction.

Sooo you're telling me He made Holmes.

I don't like Him. Please, die, You.

...I'm going to hell, aren't I? Oh, well.

He pockets part of the treasure because of the "captains share", is my guess.

That, or he bought the equipment weeks/months ago.

Piece of-- Eugen should've mugged him as well as knocked him the fuck out!

It's sad that it's so hard to miss, you have to point it out.

Right? But it's so precious...!

Telling instead of showing seems to be a common issue with these kind of games. And Berwick is becoming more and more interesting the more details we're given about it (which is nil, other than you love it).

I try not to throw too many spoilers out, on the off-chance that someone will decide to enjoy the game for themselves. Which I would not recommend. I did it, and now I regret it every day. C'mon, Aethin, hurry up...!

While I'm fine with these from a narrative standpoint, I always disliked the gameplay aspect of this in games that have experience or levels and things like that. It means that precious resources go to waste the first time you play, and every other time it becomes unintentionally hilarious just how much you'll avoid using them.

This was answered already, but yes, Zieg leaves his things behind.

Who boy. It's going to be an exposition dump update, won't it?

Kinda.

Videogames: You fell from the highest mountain of the game? Don't worry, you won't take any damage if you land in the small pool at the bottom.

Also Videogames: You merely touched the water, watch as your HP quickly goes to zero!

Videogames are fickle beasts.

Godspeed Ruben. Godspeed.

I'm starting to wonder how much they affect this plot after all, now.

I'm impressed by how badly it's ruined everything, myself. I was not expecting such a disaster.

*Inward screaming followed by outward rejoicing*

Wahahah... more or less my reaction to remembering this is when that scene happened, yes.

You can do it Ruben! Never give up! The rewards are worth it! You have brought great joy to your readers across the world, both vocal and silent! You can do it!

Well, aren't we feelin' flattering today! Err, over a week ago.

Dang, that's, uh...

...Kaga doesn't pull punches with backstory, that's for sure.

Is there any doubt, at this point?

Please tell me this stuff isn't important. I'm skimming to save my sanity as well (and dang, I think this is the longest time I've spent writing an update thus far).

It is a really long reply. Gotta say, wasn't expecting a bible for this update of all updates.

That poor wyvern really bit off more than it could chew.

Right? The poor thing... I almost pity it. Almost. But I love Wyvern Rider!Sasha too much.

Apologies, but I'm a little too tired to really comment on these, other than they're well done as always, if sad over the recent events that transpired.

Hey it's fine. No need to apologize to me. Don't be Canadian.

Dang Eugen! I know almost no-one has taken Holmes seriously, but this is to an entire 'nother level!

If words could cause physical pain, Eugen is crittiing every time he opens his mouth.

That's basically him. He deals effective damage against everybody except Runan.

Holmes picked the wrong guy to say that too.

You betcha...

Looks Like Runan want's Eugen to save his best lines to use against the enemy, and for Holmes to survive so it doesn't cause a game over.

More or less.

The true reason why Eugen isn't allowed to fight is because he'd make the game so easy it may as well be a book.

Would you look at that, Kaga did care about balance a little.

Well, there are some adviser characters that I can think of that rival or surpass Eugen in snarkiness and humor, but damn if Eugen isn't up their in temrs of quality.

Hey, just give me a single name of an advisor type that clocked the deuteragonist's ass cold, hook, line and sinker. Oh, my goodness... I love that moment so much. Hwahahahah!

This LP will end on a high note, then. That's great to hear.

Not really, it's in the final chapter, not the ending. But it definitely will have a worthy climax.

Once again, I'm tired. Plot. You hate Pretzel. Past events are now sadder. Outer Heaven.

I like how "you hate Pretzel" is one of the main points. Pfffhahahah...

Man, I need Eugens energy right now.

Try punching someone on the head, like him. But if you actually do it, I said nothing~!

Ey, you actually added him to the death list! I can't wait to see the reactions of people who see that out of context.

It'd be awesome to see 'em.

And damn I think I spent 5 hours writing all this! I don't even care about any spelling errors I made.

Ironically enough, I'm pretty sure it's one of your cleaner replies.

 

9 hours ago, Aethin said:

Oh well. Glad I could help a little, at least. Sadly, Berwick's files are only marginally better organized. As one friend of mine put it, when it comes to internal organization, the games are basically held together by a combination of plaster and duct tape.

You can say that again. Man, those files are a mess. Goodspeed, man. You're doing a great work, under such harsh conditions, and asking nothing in return. Almost feels like we're stealing!

For a news update, I'm now nearly finished with the in-chapter dialogue for 9-main.

Good, keep it up, and let's hope you can make the late spring deadline. I'd wait another month, of course, but it'd be highly painful, and you don't want to hurt little ol' me, right? Right...?

That particular fellow is from the indoor variant of Chapter 26! I shan't say more than that to avoid gameplay spoilers for other readers.

Ahhh yes, I remember now. We'll see that in a few weeks.

Only tangengially related, but since you're a Hispanophone (Spanglophone?), I thought you'd find it interesting that in the files, there a handful of unused place names with official English translations--along with exactly one place that is used in the final game: Wellt. Apparently, the intended translation of ウエルト was not "Wellt," but rather "Huerto." I'm sorry, Kaga, but I don't think "vegetable garden" is a good name for a kingdom.

Oh, goodness gracious... I didn't know Wellt was behind my house. Maybe I should try and see if Sasha comes out if I pull out some weeds. On second thought, perhaps it'd be better if I didn't do that. I wouldn't want to suffer Sasha's wrath on myself...

And here I thought the Bruise Ocean was ridiculous enough...

We've also got fun unused character names like ロドリゲス "Rodriguez," クワトロ "Cuatro," and エルコンドル "El Cóndor."

Four? Pfft.

I'm gonna guess "El Cóndor" was an old version of Simon or something, since "Cóndor" is, predictably enough, "Condor".

Hey, just outta curiousity, you're obviously rather decent at japanese, but how about spanish? Can you speak some of my mother language that japanese writers love to use for names so much?

 

2 hours ago, Pengaius said:

Huzzah huzzah, the jester has returned (that's you Ruben) come to tell tales of glory and death, of romance and death, of bravery and death, of death and death. Make way, make way, huzzah huzzah!

Why, you... I'm no jester, you fool! I can be no less than head of the court! That means king!

Hey @Aethin can you please help me force Ruben to use Arkis, cmon you must have holes for eyes to not see how good he is, right. 

How arrogant of you, to demand help from the translator himself to force me to use Arkis. The problematic part is that I might listen to him. I do hope it does not work.

 

Monologue:

Spoiler

This is what the teams are looking like. Couldn't find Rossellini to put him in either team. Sorry, Pengaius. Maybe he died. I can't remember.

Eclipse voted for Esther and Dayni voted for San, so to break the tie, I deem it more sensible to promote Esther here and now. This decision does not in the slightest involve the holding of my account hostage by a person in power within the forum through a fake ban that is totally unrelated to this. I am doing this of my own accord. Please believe me. Nah, just messing with ya, I actually played this before the whole mess happened.

Then I did some inventory management. Basically, both teams get a Sylphid and a Paces a-Hundred Yet Still I Cure, Holmes gets all the statboosters, and people get a bunch of weapons. I had to sell one of our Hero Crests, but nobody else that needs it is going to promote, I'm pretty sure, so there's that.

And with that, we move out!

...oh, God, not you! Stop, I don't want to transcribe bibles right now!

A light magic tome? This handwriting... Is this...?

Yes, it's one of Grandfather's manuscripts. This was his greatest magic, Aura Rain, passed down by the Water Sages of old. Before he died, Grandfather asked me to give it to you when you were experienced enough. I think it's about time you received it.

Aura Rain... I can't believe I'm really holding it...

Yeah... Even though I can't use it, I could feel its supreme power just by holding it. With this, you can banish the wicked into oblivion in an instant.

Not an instant, but this will still be extremely useful. Next chapter, in fact!

Grandfather never even let Father handle this tome, but he's entrusted it to you. You know what that means, right, Meriel?

Thank you for all this, Rishel!

And now, we got the Aura Rain. I forgot to screenshot its stats, but here's a summary: it's an AoE spell that targets the entire map. It can only be deployed every 5 turns, and it only has a few uses, and it does not grant much experience to anyone, but man, is it great. It'll make my life easier next chapter, I think.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The interesting thing about this route split, compared to the last, is that we get to control both armies at once. What I'll do is alternate between both armies every chapter. I'll do a Runan chapter, then a Holmes chapter, rinse and repeat. That way, we won't have time to miss Eugen and Runan too much, or hate Holmes and his broken story too much.

All right...

So, you're staying here with your parents?

Yes... I'm sorry...

Why are you apologizing? I'm not upset with you. Heck, I even sympathize. You've finally found your parents! It'd be strange if you didn't want to stay with them.

Will you be fine without me?

Aye, we've got Mel and her boyfriend, The Roger The Paladin.

Of course we'll be fine! Don't worry about us.

Really...? If you say so...

...well, that was sudden.

...

...err, Holmes? Look, hate to... hate to be a bother, but... your dead friend just talked to you!

And if you guys are thinking "what is this, a bug?", well... they do it again later on in the game. So yeah, it's a running joke that Holmes is a complete idiot and forgets that his friend isn't supposed to be there. Amazing.

Holmes...

Katri's probably thinking "man, he is NOT going to make it very far, is he..."

Wait--Shigen?! You're alive...!

Nah, I'm a zombie now. I've come for your brains. What, were you too busy staring at your girl's hips to notice sooner?

Shigen, please... let it go...

Please, Holmes. As if I'd die that easily.

No one knew what happened to you... I thoguht you were lying dead in a ditch somewhere... It's good to see you again. Now, what's all this about me being lonely?

Without Katri here, you've got no one else to be all lovey-dovey with. I sure as hell won't oblige you.

In case you haven't caught on yet, I'll confirm it for you: Shigen's going to be Holmes's advisor-guy for the rest of the game. Holmes just got his very own Eugen. And I, for one, am perfectly fine with that.

It's none of your business, Shigen!

C'mon, c'mon, talk faster, I wanna see her statsheet already!

...Is she your girlfriend?

She's an old friend of mine. Her name is Sierra. She betrayed the Cult of Gerxel in order to save my life. I'm the only one she can rely on anymore, so...

Sure, whatever. I don't really care who she is. If you trust her, I'm fine with it. Just let me give you a little heads-up, Shigen. Despite that ugyl mug of yours, the ladies seem to dig you. Don't let that get you into trouble.

That was... so much weaker than when Shigen did it... go home, Holmes, Eugen left you stupid. Er.

Shut up, Holmes.

Ha ha ha... Don't worry, Sierra, you're in good hands. We'll take good care of you here.

Thank you, Sir Holmes...

For now, we're gonna head back to the East Senay Sea. It's about time we went home to Granada.

That part of the sea is still under control of the Imperial Navy. Do you think we can take them?

Not with that attitude! The real question is, how quickly can we take out every last one of their ships?

I loved this guy before already. More so now. I'm glad he's Eugen 2. Still, he can't quite top Eugen. He may be playable, but Eugen broke Holmes's skull!

All right. Now let's see Sierra's stats--

Darnation!

Wait, what? Julius? Lyon Except Not As Good from FE4? One of these days I really am going to get lynched, aren't I...

Ah, no, it's just Pent.

What do you take me for, a fool? Why have you refused all reinforcements? You cannot hope to hold Reeve with what you have, Julius!

Our allies here in Reeve will be sufficient. You have nothing to worry about.

Allies? Do you mean Duke Dholm? You know as well as I he can't be trusted! Do you remember the time we had a prisoner exchange with Duke Gramud, and you sent our prisoners over without even checking that he'd hold up his end of the bargain? You're too trusting, Brother! Dholm has no pride, no honor!

It's precisely because he has no honor that we should leave everything to him. Don't you see the brilliance of it, Barker?

So how do we do that? It's simple: send our soldiers away to safety. Or am I wrong, Lord Brother?

Julius, you can't be serious...

Lord Brother, please return to the Canaanhall. Your daughter needs you by her side. Barbarossa's death has shaken her severely, I'm afraid.

Heavens above... My little Stephanie, asking such a thing...

Ah, yeah... here's the other part of Barbarossa that I like: the game does not let you live it down.

Barker, this war must come to an end. If it doesn't, then even gentle children like Stephanie will have blood on their hands. You and Arless may have bent to Father's will to create this chaotic mess of a world, but I will oppose you always. The only thing I want to destroy is this depraved Empire he's created, where his insanity has destroyed all justice. Ever since that demon Carla came into his life, he's completely changed. Sage Eisenbach saw it happening, but it was already too late. We destroyed the other proud kingdoms of Zoa under the guise of unification, and then we embraced the Cult of Gerxel... All the good men who opposed us were slaughtered in droves. ANd then, when I thought we couldn't sink any lower, we dared to war with Reeve, our fellow kinsmen of Carluon's own line. We are beyond redemption, Barker.

Are you condemning me, Julius...? Do you blame my cowardice?

As usual, both sides make fair points. Barker's trying to remain in the Emperor's good graces so he may succeed him and undo what he's done, whereas Julius wants to stop him right here, right now, even if it means to risk fighting against him directly. Good men under terrible circumstances, both of them.

Here are our foes:

To the east of Runan, Duke Dholm of Zemsellia. To the north, a dracozombie. We don't need to fight that one. To the south, a boat that Holmes will be assaulting later.

Like I said, we could have Holmes move out right now, but instead...

Runan's going to conquer Zemsellia. However... we've got a unit to talk about first.

HP 45% - Magic 25% - Skill 25% - Speed 20% - Defense 15% - Strength 0% - Luck 15% - Mastery 25%

Ah, Sierra... those stats and growths don't seem so hot, do they? And Sierra cannot promote to get godly bonuses, like Maruj and Meriel. Her skillset is also quite barebones, reduced to a single skill. But all that does not matter in the slightest, for two reasons: one, she can Nosferatank. Two...

She has this. Yup. You know how, in Gaiden, Sonya was a Witch but turned into an average Mage upon being recruited for no other reason than "fuck you, no warping mages for you"? No such pussyfooting around here: Kaga gives you a full-on Witch, balance be damned. She only has three move, but for all intents and purposes, that might as well say "ALL", 'cause that's her real movement.

She's also why Holmes got all the statboosters we had: her initial stats aren't very good, but with some boosting and that Nosferatu tome, she's going to be one heck of a unit. She gets the master potion because it gives her exactly enough mastery to use Earthquake.

Yes, I'm going to use Sierra. I know she's a top-tier loser, but... honestly, can you blame me for making an exception? She's the game's only dark mage - and you know how much of a sucker I am for dark magic -, she warps, she's hot, she's... goddamnit, she's perfect! No way I can skip her. Now watch as I get her killed because I'm terrible...

Speaking of the master potion, I find it hilarious that it's literally a book filled with liquid.

The only potion she won't get is the secret potion. Garo will have to make do these following chapters without Julia's support, and Holmes's isn't nearly as good, at a mere 5%. It shouldn't matter, with those amazing axes that he's rocking, but still, I want to up his accuracy a little.

With that out of the way, let's go give this Duke Dholm what for.

I can see the city of Zemsellia off in the distance there.

Indeed. The once-prosperous western gate of the kingdom... If Duke Dholm hadn't betrayed us, we might not have lost the kingdom to the Imperial occupation... I hear that his son Lentzenheimer has been gifted our lands of Razelia as a reward by the empire. I don't want to imagine what that swine has done with our home since we left...

I've also heard things about Lentzenheimer. That's the main reason Julia is going with Runan this time around.

Let us tarry no longer, Lord Runan. Today, we begin purging our homeland of the traitorous nobles that plague it, beginning with Dholm!

Meanwhile, in the castle of evil... oh, God, what are all those ballistae? There's so many of them!

Anyway, "evil" looks like a washed-up Scottish uncle.

It's in the interests of the Empire that you not be allowed(sic, though in all fairness I think this may just be me being Spanish and incorrectly thinking this isn't gramatically correct) to make any poor decisions.

Poor... decisions? What do you mean?

I know I now have a portrait database to quickly and easily get my portraits from, but I have too much fun making Morgans, so those will keep on coming. Not so sure about Best NPC being every NPC in the game, though. That might change.

Imagine if the battle had gone poorly for us. You would've turned to the enemy side in an instant to save your own skin, and we would have to deal with both of your armies at once.

How dare you...! You question my loyalty?!

Always, Dholm.

Seriously, it seems every day we meet a new sassy badass in this game. It's one of the things this game has over Berwick. There aren't nearly as many roasts in that game. That's not to say that there are none, but... not quite as many.

And it is of vital importance to me that you do not go switching sides.

Grrr...

My men will be returning to the homeland. I leave the defense of Reeve to you.

 

What an exit. This dude's amazing.

You... You damned Imperial brat...!

Ah, there he is. Lentzenheimer himself. I must say, I love his portrait. Everything about him just screams "self-centered psycopath".

Get out of my sight, Lentzenheimer. You are not welcome here in Zemsellia.

I'm welcome anywhere I please, Father. I'm here to remind you to work hard, or else all my efforts will be in vain.

Lentzenheimer's portrait is the last portrait I pulled from the game's screenshots themselves. As for why this guy has a portrait and Ahab didn't... no reason, beyond the fact that I really enjoyed making Ahab's Morgan (had to get creative with that one), whereas this guy wouldn't amount to much more than a generic recolored Morgan. Besides, I want you to "enjoy" his Narcian-ish mug as much as possible. Just so you'll get more of a kick out of seeing it covered in blood and bruises.

Besides, I need a break from all of Razellia's wild sandstorms.

Your "efforts"? You mean killing my wife-- your own mother?! Was that part of your scheming, too?

Baseless?! You ruled Razelia with such an iron fist since you were assigned it, the citizens began an organized rebellion! Your mother scolded you for it, and you killed her! You're nothing if not a monster.

You know how some of this game's irredeemably bad guys are written in a way that at least makes them very entertaining, like Pavlov? Or how others have depth and reasons behind their awful actions, like Ahab? Well... Lentzie's an entirely different beast. He's a complete, throughout piece of filth, a pile of human waste and rotten flesh that I look forward to beheading.

You're lucky I still have a use for you, Father, or you would be dead where you stand. I've felt much grief over what I had to do to Mother, I'll have you know.

 Oh, I'm sure. You'll feel much grief over the sword I'll have stuck up your ass, you insane asshole!

But if the... incident became known, my reputation would be ruined. When I realized that that girl had seen what I'd done, I had to silence her. She was just a hired guard, so I'd hoped to kill her then and there, but she escaped... It's only natural that I'd put the blame on her.

Yes, yes, and then you hired the Reaper of Schram to get rid of her. With my money, no less.

As I said, you're still useful to me. And besides, don't you look forward to the day when I finally take the crown? Thanks to Mother's bloodline, I'm next in line for the throne.

The blood you spilled, I might add. He's had, what, five minutes of screentime? And already we've got like five different reasons to break every bone in his body.

I can't let a little hiccup like that get in the way of this opportunity for me.

A little-- oh my goodness...

How do we get past it?

I have a few ideas...

Our most heavily-armored soldiers could probably break through and take them out one-by-one, but it's a dangerous plan... It'd be better if one of a our mages or artillerymen could engage them at range.

Those are not good ideas. Eugen, c'mon, get a grip... why are you the best at literally everything BUT your job? You're terrible at your job!

Duly noted.

We should try to secure the drawbridges as soon as we possibly can. If they raise them on us, we won't be able to cross the river!

I understand that, but we can't just charge recklessly forward, either. If necessary, we can take a detour and attack from the north side of the castle.

That... does not sound reassuring at all. None of it.

Well, in any case, it's all over! Next time, we see what we can do about those hundreds of ballistae that Dholm has. Wish me luck, and be here to watch the chaos unfold! See y'all!

Death count: Attrom
                        Juliattisnacordst
                        Sharon
                        Krishna
                        Indiana Jones

Reset count: 2 (Runan: 1 - Katri: 1)

Dullahan's done with my incompetence: 6

 

BONUS: Brightbow asked me to show off how Shirou looks like when he's promoted, so here you go.

He's Lionheart except his turban is red instead of blue.

His stats are worse than Lionheart's, he doesn't get any skills, a new nickname, or really anything. What a waste of time this guy is.

 

[eclipse]

So, uh, why didn't Dholm get rid of his ass of a son sooner?

[BrightBow]

Oh wow, Shirou. Such a letdown. Thanks for saving me the trouble.

And they sure give you Aura Rain at just the right time. Since it's a bit unusual, it's probably worth highlighting that these kind of turn-limited spells do not work by requiring "charging time". Like, usable every 5 turns means it can only be used on turns 5, 10, 15, etc... So not using it on turn 5 doesn't preserve it for turn 6 in any way.

Also, man Vega. Why would you ever believe anything that someone with that mug says?

Edited April 13, 2019 by BrightBow

[Hawkwing]

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I know, I said "expect [the update] tomorrow", but that was a typo. What I really meant to say was "expect it tonight".

...Ruben, you magnificent son of a-!

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Maybe it was a tiny apocalypse, localized entirely within my router. It killed my rights to enter the forum. Eclipse had to go to the Wyvern's Dale to find the Aum.

This is, from here on, LP canon.

Y'know? I could actually legitimately see this integrated into the story. And even if it's not, I'll still consider it canon.

Wait... does this mean that all computer issues are caused by Homles being funny?

...Did you happen to play this game in the years 2015, 16, or 17?

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I was going to say "yes", but Serenes wasn't having that.

I just had to tempt fate...

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

In april fools, actually. I don't think I'll do a full let's play of that game. I'd love to, but it's not a very good game for screenshots.

I would say you could record it, but I understand that's different from screenshoting.

I'm amazed that you put that together in a day (although maybe I just forgot that you updated two days inbetween at times. Ah, back when the game didn't have exposition dumps. Or Berwick. Or Holmes).

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Honestly, what was so wrong with the good ol' portraits and occasional scripted battles?

I suppose it's because it's obvious that they're scripted, making people wonder "what's the point?"

Granted, that doesn't excuse some of the cutscenes being for random events in the games that have them.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It'll be a million one day, I have faith.

Now at 80.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I've got to agree, mostly. Though I think it is possible to do a good dirty joke.

Would reverse-"compensating-for-something" jokes count as dirty? I think I'm the only guy who has ever made them...

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ergh... why, exactly, did that guy's trampoline have 16 chickens on it?

Dunno. I think a kid thought it would be funny to put 16 chickens on one to see what would happen. And started jumping on it to make them "fly". Apparently, the chickens nearly lost all their feathers from the ordeal.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

How boorish.

Well, what if I said that the sword contained the ancestors of the wielder, blinded him to teach him humility, and can access social media?

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Then you'll scare, uh... the priest! For example!

Except all the pastors I know either hunt or own a firearm.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah, well, who was the editor? He should've known better than not to edit all those things out.

...You do realize that the Bible is made up of several different books, right? Ranging from testimonies, letters, books of poems and wisdom, chronicles of kings, overviews of history, laws, prophesies, and several times a combination of these?

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The Bible's one fucked up book.

That's because people are f**ked up. They live and embrace sin, and sometimes refused the call to repent of their evils, and thus receive the judgement that was due.

There is also loads more to the Bible than God punishing wicked people, such as the things mentioned above, and Jesus changed the way we can approach God in contrast to how it had to be in the Old Testament.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sooo Tatiana is canonically dead? That's so depressing.

Nah, let's just say she, just like everyone else, had him completely figured out, but didn't have the heart to say "Zeke, my dear, I love you, but you have obviously recovered your memories and are going back to Archanea to deal with the loose ends you left behind. Why you insist on trying to keep this hidden from me is beyond my understanding".

Actually...

Spoiler

Spoilers for after the game, in case any invisible reader hasn't beaten it yet:

Spoiler

 

 

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I watched it in its entirety when I was 12. I should watch it again some time. It was awesome.

12, huh. I remember that being the same age I went to Stickpage and lost part of my innocence.

For the record, my parents actually paid attention to the ESRB ratings, and I am thankful they did.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Probably nothing like this.

(The video in question, because the guy somehow made copyright law entertaining)

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

How did you manage to turn a meme into a Picasso mess?

That was a typo. I meant to put those two pictures into the spoiler, because somehow pasting the original image onto a google doc and then onto Serenes Forest resulted in that (you are talking about the ones with the strange lines, right?).

On a different note, I made this sometime last week:

Spoiler

I can see why some webcomic artists are self-depreciative, use alt text or write paraghraphs about what they just made, and take years to improve.

If I was also less lazy/had more time/had found a good picture for it, I would have added a background.

 

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Darker side? Enlighten me.

The real use of Jokes or Humour is in quite a different direction, and it is specially
promising among the English who take their “sense of humour” so seriously that a
deficiency in this sense is almost the only deficiency at which they feel shame. Humour
is for them the all-consoling and (mark this) the all-excusing, grace of life. Hence it is
invaluable as a means of destroying shame. If a man simply lets others pay for him, he
is “mean”; if he boasts of it in a jocular manner and twits his fellows with having been
scored off, he is no longer “mean” but a comical fellow. Mere cowardice is shameful;
cowardice boasted of with humorous exaggerations and grotesque gestures can be
passed off as funny. Cruelty is shameful — unless the cruel man can represent it as a
practical joke. A thousand bawdy, or even blasphemous, jokes do not help towards a
man’s damnation so much as his discovery that almost anything he wants to do can be
done, not only without the disapproval but with the admiration of his fellows, if only
it can get itself treated as a Joke. And this temptation can be almost entirely hidden
from your patient by that English seriousness about Humour. Any suggestion that
there might be too much of it can be represented to him as “Puritanical” or as betraying
a “lack of humour”.

- Screwtape, The Screwtape Letters, Letter XI

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

If it's April Fools, you should first check the comments. If everyone's saying "man, something serious in April Fools?! Unbelievable!", then it's probably true.

Well, a developer did make a comment on the White Island forum, and again last year they claimed they were going to add a fishing minigame, which they eventually did (although the joke still remains due to how much they claimed they were going to add). I may have to look it up later, because I remember trying the game out during the summer, but saw very quickly that it would take up space on my phone. Might just watch a walkthrough to get caught up on the story.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahah, right? I'm still patting myself on the back for the Kevin Spacey detail.

Let me guess: Kevin Spacey is an actor that sexually harassed and/or abused several people in the past, and is being hounded for it now since that has been a thing since, well, forever, but started picking up speed once again in 2017.

I'll just say this on the entire matter: You reap what you sow.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Alas, he meddled with powers beyond his understanding.

He should have finished his apprenticeship with Mycen before attempting to become a journeyman.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This made me choke. Jesus, I had such a stroke of genius that day.

I think we've reached a the point in the lets play where brick jokes can now be a thing.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's mostly what she is. She'll get some characterization down the line, actually. It's going to be funny, seeing characters I don't even use getting more time under the spotlight than the ones I do use.

On the bright side, they do make up for it by being memorable in gameplay.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Patches are a great thing. The problem is that they've allowed companies to get even more greedy than before.

I mean, they kinda always were a thing. Except they either came with later editions of the game, and/or you had to call or mail someone to get the patched floppy disk in the, well, mail some time later.

That, or copy a friends copy, if you can get past the copy protection. That was a problem back in the day, and it still is now.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Because you're not interested, so you can provide an objective view. No offense sorry not sorry heheh.

I care more about an outfits practicality than it's coolness factor. And once again, it's alright.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Stupid Rossellini, thinking he can match Maruj.

Maybe it would be better if he did this?

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sooo you're telling me He made Holmes.

This is that can of worms I was talking about, because God in real life allows humans to write stories, and humans can create characters in said stories...

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I don't like Him. Please, die, You.

...I'm going to hell, aren't I? Oh, well.

Hell is a choice. So is Heaven and following God. It's what free will is all about.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Piece of-- Eugen should've mugged him as well as knocked him the fuck out!

He probably would have, had not Runan been on the scene.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, aren't we feelin' flattering today! Err, over a week ago.

Well, you did ask for encouragement. And since I'm not really in a position to directly help you, positive words are the best I got.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It is a really long reply. Gotta say, wasn't expecting a bible for this update of all updates.

I mean, it helps (and hurts) that this had an April Fools update added to it.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Would you look at that, Kaga did care about balance a little.

This made me laugh a lot more than it should have.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey, just give me a single name of an advisor type that clocked the deuteragonist's ass cold, hook, line and sinker. Oh, my goodness... I love that moment so much. Hwahahahah!

I was about to give a suggestion, but then say that you said "deuterangonist", so it wouldn't really count.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I like how "you hate Pretzel" is one of the main points. Pfffhahahah...

I mean, that's pretty much the easiest way to describe that exposition in an update already filled with exposition.

Not certain where Outer Heaven came from. I think it was a tired reference to Somecallmejohnny that really isn't all the notable, honestly.

...

And once again all the Thank You's and I See's and all that.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Aura Rain... I can't believe I'm really holding it...

Aura Rain...

So the Aura spell, but as common as raindrops...

...The enemies on the receiving end better hope they're good Touhou players.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And now, we got the Aura Rain. I forgot to screenshot its stats, but here's a summary: it's an AoE spell that targets the entire map. It can only be deployed every 5 turns, and it only has a few uses, and it does not grant much experience to anyone, but man, is it great. It'll make my life easier next chapter, I think.

...They better hope they're really good Touhou players...

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Short but sweet. Not really much more to say beyond that, other than it's nice see Eugen be understanding while still being himself.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The interesting thing about this route split, compared to the last, is that we get to control both armies at once. What I'll do is alternate between both armies every chapter. I'll do a Runan chapter, then a Holmes chapter, rinse and repeat. That way, we won't have time to miss Eugen and Runan too much, or hate Holmes and his broken story too much.

I take it you can't be attacked by reinforcements in this game? That's usually the result of attempting to alternate between Alm and Celica in Gaiden/Echoes (although playing exclusively one side to completion leads to the other one having to face reinforcements added onto every other normal level when it's their turn to proceed).

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Why are you apologizing? I'm not upset with you. Heck, I even sympathize. You've finally found your parents! It'd be strange if you didn't want to stay with them.

I know it's simple, but it's nice seeing Holmes not be a d*ck or an idiot in a scene. For once.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...

...err, Holmes? Look, hate to... hate to be a bother, but... your dead friend just talked to you!

And if you guys are thinking "what is this, a bug?", well... they do it again later on in the game. So yeah, it's a running joke that Holmes is a complete idiot and forgets that his friend isn't supposed to be there. Amazing.

And the moments gone.

Honestly, I'd expected this to be the set-up for a "double-take" joke, where Holmes responses normally, only to realize that yes, his friend survived.

Alas...

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wait--Shigen?! You're alive...!

I take it back. They did do that joke. And it is hilarious, if oddly presented.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

In case you haven't caught on yet, I'll confirm it for you: Shigen's going to be Holmes's advisor-guy for the rest of the game. Holmes just got his very own Eugen. And I, for one, am perfectly fine with that.

Shigen just became even more awesome! Although does this mean that he's no longer playable?

On a side note, I just realized how tired Shigen's portrait looked, and I had to check back to see if it was any different from before he "died" (it's not). Given he's friends with Holmes, I am not surprised.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Shut up, Holmes.

This is the most fitting and self-aware line in all of Holmes route, if not the game as a whole.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I loved this guy before already. More so now. I'm glad he's Eugen 2. Still, he can't quite top Eugen. He may be playable, but Eugen broke Holmes's skull!

Looks like having enough near-death experiences has sharpened Shigens wit considerably.

Wonder if Eugen has a similar story before being locked out of battle for good.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, yeah... here's the other part of Barbarossa that I like: the game does not let you live it down.

Normally, I would criticize the game for blaming the player for something they had no choice in doing. However Barbarossa was handled so well that I don't really mind it here.

Helps that it appears less "you bastard" and more "inevitabilities and consequences of war".

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

As usual, both sides make fair points. Barker's trying to remain in the Emperor's good graces so he may succeed him and undo what he's done, whereas Julius wants to stop him right here, right now, even if it means to risk fighting against him directly. Good men under terrible circumstances, both of them.

Couldn't have said it better myself. It really is an interesting situation.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

She has this. Yup. You know how, in Gaiden, Sonya was a Witch but turned into an average Mage upon being recruited for no other reason than "fuck you, no warping mages for you"? No such pussyfooting around here: Kaga gives you a full-on Witch, balance be damned. She only has three move, but for all intents and purposes, that might as well say "ALL", 'cause that's her real movement.

Yep, this is the dark magic user that was mentioned several months back (thanks, @Interdimensional Observer! I also now understand what you mean by her early recruitment being counterintuitive).

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

She's also why Holmes got all the statboosters we had: her initial stats aren't very good, but with some boosting and that Nosferatu tome, she's going to be one heck of a unit. She gets the master potion because it gives her exactly enough mastery to use Earthquake.

And I see that you planned around upgrading her stats. Nice.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Now watch as I get her killed because I'm terrible...

Warp is powerful. And the greater one is, the harder they fall.

I can easily see this skill making or breaking the Lets Play.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Speaking of the master potion, I find it hilarious that it's literally a book filled with liquid.

I was originally going to ask why an orange juice container was in the game, but I like your description better. I can't get the image out of my head now.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's in the interests of the Empire that you not be allowed(sic, though in all fairness I think this may just be me being Spanish and incorrectly thinking this isn't gramatically correct) to make any poor decisions.

It is grammatically correct. I don't blame you for making the mistake, though. It's one of those "sounds better spoken aloud that written down" kind of things.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And it is of vital importance to me that you do not go switching sides.

This is either foreshadowing or a twist on foreshadowing.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, there he is. Lentzenheimer himself. I must say, I love his portrait. Everything about him just screams "self-centered psycopath".

I can just hear his smug, calm, slimy voice just from this introduction.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lentzenheimer's portrait is the last portrait I pulled from the game's screenshots themselves. As for why this guy has a portrait and Ahab didn't... no reason, beyond the fact that I really enjoyed making Ahab's Morgan (had to get creative with that one), whereas this guy wouldn't amount to much more than a generic recolored Morgan. Besides, I want you to "enjoy" his Narcian-ish mug as much as possible. Just so you'll get more of a kick out of seeing it covered in blood and bruises.

This is a good time to remind you that Mortal Kombat 11 has been showing off its kharacters fatalities lately, and that Youtubes automated content filter has mistaken the games gore for real blood at points.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You know how some of this game's irredeemably bad guys are written in a way that at least makes them very entertaining, like Pavlov? Or how others have depth and reasons behind their awful actions, like Ahab? Well... Lentzie's an entirely different beast. He's a complete, throughout piece of filth, a pile of human waste and rotten flesh that I look forward to beheading.

There are some characters you wish to give a slow, painful death, and others were you just want to send them to Hell as quickly as possible.

The Slaver fits into the former, but this guy is reaching his level at the speed of a rocket.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The blood you spilled, I might add. He's had, what, five minutes of screentime? And already we've got like five different reasons to break every bone in his body.

It's like Kaga welded "please hate this guy" into Lentzenheimers forehead.

And it's working.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Having played an RTS before and ordering every unit in my army to attack one guy, I can vouch that it is not pretty.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He's Lionheart except his turban is red instead of blue.

Well, it's not bad (I rather like the sprite), but you are right it's pretty much just Lionheart with different colors, and Lionheart did it first.

[BrightBow]

58 minutes ago, Hawkwing said:

Shigen just became even more awesome! Although does this mean that he's no longer playable?

He still is. It's just that his death is now a game over condition, like with Katri and Enteh.

 

Edit: I don't think Ruben mentioned this, so let me say that you do not actually have to kill off Shigen to get Sierra. Buuuut otherwise she will join a lot later. So it's still well worth it.

Edited April 14, 2019 by BrightBow

[Punished Dayni]

27 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Dangit! Melissa? Martha? Er...

*quickly googles "common irish female names"*

...S... Siobhand-- Siobhan? Aeio... Aoi... Aoife? Cain-- Caoimhe!? Who in the world made these up!?

Anna?

Anna. Yeah, it's Anna, definitely.

.....

Nope. This is just sad.

28 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, I was really half-joking when I put Nergal down like that. Using Ninian against Eliwood was actually a pretty damn good move to demoralize the guy and his friends. He wasn't all bad, it's just that it's the joke that I hate FE7 and everything in it, at this point.

Yeah yeah.

Sometimes you just feel like point out that something isn't perfect.

Still a shorter rant than for Jahn. :P

29 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

At least Anankos had his own face, right? That's all I'll say for now.

That's not a compliment.

30 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, there were some bits and pieces. Oh, well. Guess we'll have to make do with what we have.

That Zeig's a dick who left despite his doubts?

30 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Aaand there we go, unfinished sentence.

To be fair, this one kind of works. It's like Eugen cuts me right off.

31 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Titania doesn't kick Shinon's ass into next sunday, does she? Then she's worse than Eugen.

Her asskicking has to be limited by the time she has available to her. She spends enough time tear through enemies, she doesn't get the chance.

Maybe when she's older.

32 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Even when his game and LP are over, he still fucks things up. Damnit, Pretzel!

It's what he's good at.

32 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pesco?

PESCO.

You know the armed force the EU's trying to make integrating military in the EU.

33 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I talked about that already.

Hence why I crossed it out.

39 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And if you guys are thinking "what is this, a bug?", well... they do it again later on in the game. So yeah, it's a running joke that Holmes is a complete idiot and forgets that his friend isn't supposed to be there. Amazing.

I mean, there can be the same type of bug more than once.

Not like patching was much of a thing then.

40 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

In case you haven't caught on yet, I'll confirm it for you: Shigen's going to be Holmes's advisor-guy for the rest of the game. Holmes just got his very own Eugen. And I, for one, am perfectly fine with that.

And he's now not allowed die for even more real.

I'm okay with this.

(Though he'll still count as someone else dying if he does? Dullahan's still going to be necessary.)

40 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I loved this guy before already. More so now. I'm glad he's Eugen 2. Still, he can't quite top Eugen. He may be playable, but Eugen broke Holmes's skull!

I mean, breaking Holmes's skull isn't exactly impossible for people to do.

41 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So how do we do that? It's simple: send our soldiers away to safety. Or am I wrong, Lord Brother?

This bastard looks like Arvis but his hair's white and he braided a bit.

This guy is someone I should trust as much as a man on the corner selling Avengers Endgame DVDs.

43 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

HP 45% - Magic 25% - Skill 25% - Speed 20% - Defense 15% - Strength 0% - Luck 15% - Mastery 25%

Ah, Sierra... those stats and growths don't seem so hot, do they? And Sierra cannot promote to get godly bonuses, like Maruj and Meriel. Her skillset is also quite barebones, reduced to a single skill. But all that does not matter in the slightest, for two reasons: one, she can Nosferatank. Two...

She has this. Yup. You know how, in Gaiden, Sonya was a Witch but turned into an average Mage upon being recruited for no other reason than "fuck you, no warping mages for you"? No such pussyfooting around here: Kaga gives you a full-on Witch, balance be damned. She only has three move, but for all intents and purposes, that might as well say "ALL", 'cause that's her real movement.

 Personal Warp as her skill. This is exactly the kind of thing to just throw at a problem and watch it come out the other side. (I also remembered her having better growths I guess)

Also, is she getting Occult scrolls?

44 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

She's the game's only dark mage - and you know how much of a sucker I am for dark magic -, she warps, she's hot, she's... goddamnit, she's perfect! No way I can skip her. Now watch as I get her killed because I'm terrible...

I give it three fights.

45 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's in the interests of the Empire that you not be allowed to make any poor decisions.

That sentence is fine.

I mean, the structure could be considered somewhat archaic, which works better here, but it's fine.

46 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, there he is. Lentzenheimer himself. I must say, I love his portrait. Everything about him just screams "self-centered psycopath".

Wow, Joffrey really fell down a couple of positions in this universe.

46 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Baseless?! You ruled Razelia with such an iron fist since you were assigned it, the citizens began an organized rebellion! Your mother scolded you for it, and you killed her! You're nothing if not a monster.

Lentzenheimer is confirmed to be worse than Guenchaos. I mean, he killed his mother over a scolding.

Dude, what the hell, you're an insult to sons everywhere.

47 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You know how some of this game's irredeemably bad guys are written in a way that at least makes them very entertaining, like Pavlov? Or how others have depth and reasons behind their awful actions, like Ahab? Well... Lentzie's an entirely different beast. He's a complete, throughout piece of filth, a pile of human waste and rotten flesh that I look forward to beheading.

I think we're all cheering for him to die now.

47 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You're lucky I still have a use for you, Father, or you would be dead where you stand. I've felt much grief over what I had to do to Mother, I'll have you know. But if the... incident became known, my reputation would be ruined. When I realized that that girl had seen what I'd done, I had to silence her. She was just a hired guard, so I'd hoped to kill her then and there, but she escaped... It's only natural that I'd put the blame on her.

(Please tell me that when he says he has a use for his dad he doesn't mean that he's Oedepis but the parent's roles are reversed).

You know, I don't know if he's serious about feeling bad about killing his mother. Either way that's messed up.

48 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Those are not good ideas. Eugen, c'mon, get a grip... why are you the best at literally everything BUT your job? You're terrible at your job!

Eugen maxed out his sass and strength for his age, but he ran out of points for tactical nous.

33 minutes ago, eclipse said:

So, uh, why didn't Dholm get rid of his ass of a son sooner?

I assume Lentzenheimer's his only son.

Which I could absolutely believe is because Lentzenheimer killed his siblings.

[The Roger The Paladin]

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

I know, I said "expect [the update] tomorrow", but that was a typo. What I really meant to say was "expect it tonight".

For some of us, it was tomorrow.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Maybe it was a tiny apocalypse, localized entirely within my router. It killed my rights to enter the forum. Eclipse had to go to the Wyvern's Dale to find the Aum.

This is, from here on, LP canon.

So LP Canon is that Eclipse is best mod?

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahah, oh, poor Zieg, c'mon.

Bonus points if you get Fari from Wand of Gamelon to bring Zieg back. "Here's the traitor your majesty". Because if you don't it's happening anyway.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Titania doesn't kick Shinon's ass into next sunday, does she? Then she's worse than Eugen.

Well, technically she can kill him in PoR instead of recruiting him back... but that's non-canon because he's in Radiant Dawn.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Who knows... maybe he resurrected Gharnef again. Again.

Sounds like Pretzel. Go figure Medeus wasn't the biggest threat to Archanea. Pretzel was.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

"My, you look awfully young for a 90 year old!"

"...doc, please."

It fits well with an old trick I used to use where I took photos of my great-grandfather in military uniform, who had the same name and similar enough facial structure, and set them up in convenient spots to mess with visitors. Trick hasn't worked since I grew a beard out. Makes you see how myths of immortals spread when you've had fun with that sort of thing. That said, I'm lucky enough not to live in a time where I could have got staked for that.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Morshu deserved a game for himself, to be honest.

Morshu, Shopkeep of Koridai.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey, leave Orson alone. He may get little screentime, but the guy's my second favourite villain from FE8, just behind Lyon.

It wasn't so much me knocking Orson as saying Zieg is the same concept but executed in a way to allow the player more chance to get attached to him before his death... rather than after. I just kind of feel like the guy got screwed over by comparison.

 

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Indy-Jones, Indy-Jones, does whatever an archaeologist does.
Throw the whip, over pits. He punches nazi's until they die.
Watch out, here comes Indy-Jones.

Is he strong? Listen Bud. He survived a nuke that wasn't a dud.
Can he swing, from a whip? You saw from the camera that was under the "pit".
Hey there, it's Indiana Jones.

In the chill of the night, there are snakes at the site.
He faces his fears to do what's right, and saves the day every time.

Indy-Jones, Indy-Jones, famous archaeologist Indiana Jones.
Wealth and fame, he ignores, seeing it in a museum is its own reward.
Look out, here comes Indiana Jones.

Indy-Jones, Indy-Jones, famous archaeologist Indiana Jones.
Wealth and fame, he ignores, punching nazi's is its own reward.
To him, searching temples is a career, in places where men run from fear
You'll find Indiana Jones!

...

I actually made that up on the spot, although I referenced the original song several times.

I would pay to see that made into an actual song. 10/10 would play Indiana Jones for an april fools update again.

By coincidence, Steve Ditko, the artist who co-created Spider-Man with Stan Lee drew an Indiana Jones series back in the 1980s. The more more you know.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ergh... why, exactly, did that guy's trampoline have 16 chickens on it?

Because they wouldn't fit on a dog.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hawkwing is Vega confirmed.

Did you just say you hate Hawkwing and want to confine him to a store for the rest of his days?

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sooo Tatiana is canonically dead? That's so depressing.

Nah, let's just say she, just like everyone else, had him completely figured out, but didn't have the heart to say "Zeke, my dear, I love you, but you have obviously recovered your memories and are going back to Archanea to deal with the loose ends you left behind. Why you insist on trying to keep this hidden from me is beyond my understanding".

Pretty sure "Sirius" refers to how he has someone else waiting across the sea for him when he talks to Nyna in New Mystery. So that pretty much confirms Tatiana's alive. While checking that, I found there was also a memory prism in Shadows of Valentia which shows when Tatiana first found Camus on the beach... and he in his delirium refers to Nyna. If she was mentioned at all by the Whitewings (who I believe triggered the memories in "Zeke" by their presence) before they left, she probably worked put two and two together.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah... Even though I can't use it, I could feel its supreme power just by holding it. With this, you can banish the wicked into oblivion in an instant.

Not an instant, but this will still be extremely useful. Next chapter, in fact!

Frollo would love this. Especially German Frollo, who has a line that translates to "The sinners I despise them, I'm of a different, better stamp". Which is the most Frollo line in anything ever.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nah, I'm a zombie now. I've come for your brains. What, were you too busy staring at your girl's hips to notice sooner?

Well, Shigen, you've wasted your time. Judging by the time it took to register that you were supposed to be dead, I'd say Eugen killed whatever was there to begin with. Holmes is a vegetable. Let's hope we don't run into any vegetarians, or this run could be messy.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I loved this guy before already. More so now. I'm glad he's Eugen 2. Still, he can't quite top Eugen. He may be playable, but Eugen broke Holmes's skull!

And whatever was left of his brain.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, no, it's just Pent.

Jeeze. First evil Louise in New Mystery, and now evil Pent here. Let's just be glad that evil Louise and Pent never met so we don't have evil Clarine. Unless that becomes OC next LP.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Speaking of the master potion, I find it hilarious that it's literally a book filled with liquid.

Just like a hollowed out bible used to hide a flask of whiskey.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I look forward to beheading.

The plates are prepared.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, yes, and then you hired the Reaper of Schram to get rid of her. With my money, no less.

And the little turd even did the unforgivable. Using Vega. That's against the very principles of this run.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The blood you spilled, I might add. He's had, what, five minutes of screentime? And already we've got like five different reasons to break every bone in his body.

How many did hiring Vega count for?

5 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

Let me guess: Kevin Spacey is an actor that sexually harassed and/or abused several people in the past, and is being hounded for it now since that has been a thing since, well, forever, but started picking up speed once again in 2017.

I'll just say this on the entire matter: You reap what you sow.

He "apologized" for sexual assault of a minor by coming out as gay in 2017, as if being gay means it's okay that he tried to molest a 14 year old boy. Consequently ruined his career and became the butt of a number of jokes regarding the fact he seems to believe he should be held to a different standard because of his orientation. So basically.

5 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

I was about to give a suggestion, but then say that you said "deuterangonist", so it wouldn't really count.

Jar Jar Binks should have been revealed as a Sith Lord. It would have been hilarious if the idiocy was a perfectly rehearsed act and he was Vader's real mentor.

5 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

It's like Kaga welded "please hate this guy" into Lentzenheimers forehead.

And it's working.

Only way he could have done it better is if he revealed he was a patron of Slaver's.

5 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

Having played an RTS before and ordering every unit in my army to attack one guy, I can vouch that it is not pretty.

Kind of an inverse of this is my recent playthrough of Final Fantasy II (a game that kills so many characters, playable or otherwise, there's an entire scenario in later versions revolving around the ones who did die in the afterlife). I got to the final boss... and got a pre-emptive strike, meaning I had a free first turn without him attacking me. So my plan went "have everyone cast Beserk on the guy with the bloodsword, which said boss is weak to because beserk stacks in this game and raises attack ". Second turn I attack, and inflict maximum damage with that character while everyone else buffs with magic like Blink, Haste and Protect. Then the boss retaliates with dispel to attempt to remove the buffs, but fails to hit Firion, who has the bloodsword... which is the one character he needed to hit. I proceeded to attack again on my third turn and win. Only damaging the boss twice. Only letting him make one move. It was hilarious. I didn't even have to max out my characters to pull off this strategy.

 

 

[Aethin]

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey, just outta curiousity, you're obviously rather decent at japanese, but how about spanish? Can you speak some of my mother language that japanese writers love to use for names so much?

Sadly, not really. My sister knows Castellano from minoring from Spanish and studying in Madrid, and my dad knows Chilean Spanish because of his work, but I'm the oddball with Japanese. I studied Latin for 3 years and still use it occasionally, so I can recognize some of the verb conjugations and lots of the vocabulary words (like huerto from hortus) if I try to read it, but it's not like I could write a coherent paragraph or understand a conversation.

[Hawkwing]

That is all.

12 hours ago, BrightBow said:

He still is. It's just that his death is now a game over condition, like with Katri and Enteh.

Yay! Now the Dullahan's is even more risky to use!

Although now I'm curious what happens if Shigen died before this.

12 hours ago, BrightBow said:

Edit: I don't think Ruben mentioned this, so let me say that you do not actually have to kill off Shigen to get Sierra. Buuuut otherwise she will join a lot later. So it's still well worth it.

Yeah, I looked back to previous updates since I knew that a dark mage was mentioned earlier, so I knew this already. Still, I see why this is considered an "out of your way" kind of thing.

7 hours ago, Mad-manakete said:

By coincidence, Steve Ditko, the artist who co-created Spider-Man with Stan Lee drew an Indiana Jones series back in the 1980s. The more more you know.

I knew that there were some Indiana Jones comics, but I didn't know that Steve Ditko drew them. That's pretty interesting to learn.

7 hours ago, Mad-manakete said:

Chicken on a Dog instead of a trampoline because Serenes Forest is having trouble highlighting it for some reason.
Although what would 16 chickens on a dog look like?
Or 16 chickens on a dog on a trampoline?
Or 16 chickens on a trampoline on a dog?
Or 16 chickens on a trampoline on a chicken on a dog?

Is this what is called a non sequitor? Or is it another kind of joke whose name eludes me?

Anyway, it's randomly connected, but it made me laugh.

7 hours ago, Mad-manakete said:

Did you just say you hate Hawkwing and want to confine him to a store for the rest of his days?

I mean, considering that I asked Ruben to skin a fictional character alive, I don't blame him trying to protect others by putting a store shelf between them and me.

7 hours ago, Mad-manakete said:

He "apologized" for sexual assault of a minor by coming out as gay in 2017, as if being gay means it's okay that he tried to molest a 14 year old boy. Consequently ruined his career and became the butt of a number of jokes regarding the fact he seems to believe he should be held to a different standard because of his orientation. So basically.

I see. And doing a quick search on wikipedia, he denied being gay earlier in his career.

Reputation takes years to build up, and only moments to destroy.

7 hours ago, Mad-manakete said:

Only way he could have done it better is if he revealed he was a patron of Slaver's.

...If that were true...

Ruben, remember how I said Mortal Kombat 11 has been revealing its kontent lately?

We're going to steal a time machine to see what the actual Mortal Kombat XL will be like, to give you some ideas.

7 hours ago, Mad-manakete said:

Kind of an inverse of this is my recent playthrough of Final Fantasy II (a game that kills so many characters, playable or otherwise, there's an entire scenario in later versions revolving around the ones who did die in the afterlife). I got to the final boss... and got a pre-emptive strike, meaning I had a free first turn without him attacking me. So my plan went "have everyone cast Beserk on the guy with the bloodsword, which said boss is weak to because beserk stacks in this game and raises attack ". Second turn I attack, and inflict maximum damage with that character while everyone else buffs with magic like Blink, Haste and Protect. Then the boss retaliates with dispel to attempt to remove the buffs, but fails to hit Firion, who has the bloodsword... which is the one character he needed to hit. I proceeded to attack again on my third turn and win. Only damaging the boss twice. Only letting him make one move. It was hilarious. I didn't even have to max out my characters to pull off this strategy.

Experiences like that are always memorable.

Although from what I've heard, Final Fantasy II is pretty notable for being dark for an NES game, subverting several cliches that soon became common in the series, and had the "you level up skills by using them" mechanic years before the Elder Scrolls made it famous. Although I've also heard that while the ideas utilized are neat, they didn't always work well in practice.

[The Roger The Paladin]

9 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

I knew that there were some Indiana Jones comics, but I didn't know that Steve Ditko drew them. That's pretty interesting to learn.

While he didn't draw all of them, he did take over the series "The Further Adventures of Indiana Jones" mid-run and had a few volumes.

9 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

Is this what is called a non sequitor? Or is it another kind of joke whose name eludes me?

Anyway, it's randomly connected, but it made me laugh.

More of an excuse to post a picture of a couple friends doing their best impression of Duck Hunt Duo. Except with a different form of poultry and a friendship born from a mutual dislike of foxes.

9 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

I mean, considering that I asked Ruben to skin a fictional character alive, I don't blame him trying to protect others by putting a store shelf between them and me.

Yeah, but it was Slaver. I'm pretty sure it'd be scarier if you wanted him to be left off with a slap on the wrist.

9 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

Experiences like that are always memorable.

Although from what I've heard, Final Fantasy II is pretty notable for being dark for an NES game, subverting several cliches that soon became common in the series, and had the "you level up skills by using them" mechanic years before the Elder Scrolls made it famous. Although I've also heard that while the ideas utilized are neat, they didn't always work well in practice.

It's an interesting game. Some of the mechanics are definitely poorly executed, but you have to remember it wasn't just pioneering them, but suffered from a single year of development, a thing that seems to make or break a game. For Majora's Mask, a short development resulted in a Zelda different enough to be my favourite for subverting conventions and having a dark atmosphere stemming from ideas influenced by both nightmares and stress from the looming deadlines (look at it, the whole game is a deadline in a way). For Final Fantasy II, we had a world that was open to the extent you could wander into the areas with late-game enemies right after walking out of the town you start in... and get your ass handed to you by a pack of werewolves for your trouble. Instead of towns simply becoming stagnant as the game went on, you'd see them change from the events of the game or even be destroyed. NPCs, player characters... the only ones you could be sure were safe were three particular ones in your party as death struck everywhere showing the war the game took place in wasn't a war in name alone. The biggest problem was the levelling mechanic was broken in ways. One infamous trick, and easily the most effective was to get into a fight with enemies who posed little threat to you, attack yourself to the point your HP was low, and win. You'd likely level HP and Stamina... and possibly strength and weapon level as a bonus. As it stood though, levelling magic fully was tedious and took ages (I can honestly say I never got any spell past the halfway point). Ultima is a major victim of this. Despite being a legendary spell that sealed away demons lore-wise, and despite having a portion of the story devoted to getting it that results in a death... Ultima is based on the level of the caster's other spells. Ergo if you haven't levelled it and 15 other spells all the way to level 16... you may find it less effective than the beserk stacking idea I had on the bosses.Some people say the algorithm also takes into account weapon levels, which would make it even harder to level. But the topper is the original version of the game had a bug for the spell where the algorithm for Ultima was broken so it could deal 500 damage at most. This made it virtually useless. While it's fixed in every subsequent version... it still is underwhelming for it's position in the lore. Overall I enjoyed the game... but I definitely see why some people call it the series black sheep.

TL;DR version essentially being that it managed a story and ideas ahead of of it's time, but didn't balance the gameplay quite right.

[Pengaius]

On 13/04/2019 at 10:42 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Did ya miss me, ya wankers?! Hahahahahahahahah...!

*God save the queen intensifies*

On 13/04/2019 at 10:42 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

S... Siobhand-- Siobhan? Aeio... Aoi... Aoife? Cain-- Caoimhe!? Who in the world made these up!?

Pronounced Shiv-awn (as in yawn) E-fah and kwee-vah, in case you are wondering. But those aren't even the fun ones wait till you meet a Tadgh O'Cheallaigh from Gweesalia, County Mayo, or someone like that. 

On 13/04/2019 at 10:42 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

So basically the exact opposite to everything I said, except--

Wait... Rossellini?

I blame autocorrect, that or Rishel is his alter ego, I mean Rossellini just sounds so much more grandiose and all.

On 13/04/2019 at 10:42 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

It takes a lot of talent to one-up the old translation there!

I have always been apt at screwing things up. 

On 13/04/2019 at 10:42 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Why, you... I'm no jester, you fool! I can be no less than head of the court! That means king!

Yet you bear no crown, you call yourself Saintly yet will happily writhe in excess. You desire political power, to rule the roost. You are naught but hypocrisy's  lapdog, a clown of contradictions sitting on your paper throne. So amuse us o clown Rubenio, that is your purpose is it not. Come at me bro 1V1 me IRL

 

On 13/04/2019 at 10:42 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

How arrogant of you, to demand help from the translator himself to force me to use Arkis. The problematic part is that I might listen to him. I do hope it does not work.

Please. 

On 13/04/2019 at 10:42 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

To the north, a dracozombie. We don't need to fight that one.

Did someone say kill for Arkis?

Wow  Lenny, is a douche, kill him with Arkis to humiliate him, special sword be damned. 

 

[Saint Rubenio]

Part 45 - Nuts 'n' bolts.

The place where people find answers:

Spoiler

On 13/4/2019 at 11:57 PM, eclipse said:

So, uh, why didn't Dholm get rid of his ass of a son sooner?

I...

I have no idea, actually. Gonna assume that Lentzie's his only son, and unlike him, Dholm has some semblance of a heart under all the cowardice and treachery. Lentzie took advantage of that, and here we are.

 

On 14/4/2019 at 12:06 AM, BrightBow said:

Oh wow, Shirou. Such a letdown. Thanks for saving me the trouble.

I aim to please, except for the times I don't.

And they sure give you Aura Rain at just the right time. Since it's a bit unusual, it's probably worth highlighting that these kind of turn-limited spells do not work by requiring "charging time". Like, usable every 5 turns means it can only be used on turns 5, 10, 15, etc... So not using it on turn 5 doesn't preserve it for turn 6 in any way.

Yes, that can be tricky.

Also, man Vega. Why would you ever believe anything that someone with that mug says?

For a guy who supposedly never lowers his guard, he sure was easy to manipulate by Lieberia's biggest pile of shit.

Seriously, the only thing they need to do now is reveal that he's a client of the slaver and he'll get it even worse than Makalov times ten.

 

On 14/4/2019 at 7:08 AM, Hawkwing said:

...Ruben, you magnificent son of a-!

Hahahah, thanks!

Y'know? I could actually legitimately see this integrated into the story. And even if it's not, I'll still consider it canon.

Please do.

Wait... does this mean that all computer issues are caused by Homles being funny?

That's how badly it ruins the balance of space and time.

...Did you happen to play this game in the years 2015, 16, or 17?

Nope, found out about it in 2018. Right as the FE12 LP was ending, actually.

I just had to tempt fate...

You should know better by now!

I would say you could record it, but I understand that's different from screenshoting.

Very much so. I live with my parents, so I can't really start screaming obscenities over a game into a mic any day.

I'm amazed that you put that together in a day (although maybe I just forgot that you updated two days inbetween at times. Ah, back when the game didn't have exposition dumps. Or Berwick. Or Holmes).

I tend to be faster the more I enjoy a particular update. Remember how I made the Barbarossa update in, what, three days? It was long as heck!

I suppose it's because it's obvious that they're scripted, making people wonder "what's the point?"

Granted, that doesn't excuse some of the cutscenes being for random events in the games that have them.

I don't see that as a valid reason, honestly, although they did tend to get a little crit-happy. I will question why they made Zephiel crit Cecilia in FE6 'til the day I die. She would've been left with 1 HP, it was literally perfect!

Now at 80.

One day!

Would reverse-"compensating-for-something" jokes count as dirty? I think I'm the only guy who has ever made them...

Ergh... maybe?

Dunno. I think a kid thought it would be funny to put 16 chickens on one to see what would happen. And started jumping on it to make them "fly". Apparently, the chickens nearly lost all their feathers from the ordeal.

Ah, kids. Such pure, innocent creatures. I hate them.

Well, what if I said that the sword contained the ancestors of the wielder, blinded him to teach him humility, and can access social media?

Even more boorish!

Except all the pastors I know either hunt or own a firearm.

Yeah, I don't think having a gun would be enough to prepare anyone for the gore fetish you have. If anything, it'll prepare them to defend themselves from your gore fetish!

I went too far there didn't I I'm so sorry

...You do realize that the Bible is made up of several different books, right? Ranging from testimonies, letters, books of poems and wisdom, chronicles of kings, overviews of history, laws, prophesies, and several times a combination of these?

Well, whoever was in charge of the compilation didn't do a good job at separating the good from the bad, clearly!

That's because people are f**ked up. They live and embrace sin, and sometimes refused the call to repent of their evils, and thus receive the judgement that was due.

Ergh... guilty of all charges.

There is also loads more to the Bible than God punishing wicked people, such as the things mentioned above, and Jesus changed the way we can approach God in contrast to how it had to be in the Old Testament.

I should read the bible some day.

Actually...

  Reveal hidden contents

Spoilers for after the game, in case any invisible reader hasn't beaten it yet:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

That doesn't say what he told Tatiana, so my headcanon's still that she didn't have the heart to tell him that she knew.

12, huh. I remember that being the same age I went to Stickpage and lost part of my innocence.

For the record, my parents actually paid attention to the ESRB ratings, and I am thankful they did.

I didn't say a single swear word when I was younger. Just saying "shit" made me cringe. Then I grew a pair.

(The video in question, because the guy somehow made copyright law entertaining)

Hwahahahahah, I am winner!

That was a typo. I meant to put those two pictures into the spoiler, because somehow pasting the original image onto a google doc and then onto Serenes Forest resulted in that (you are talking about the ones with the strange lines, right?).

On a different note, I made this sometime last week:

  Reveal hidden contents

I can see why some webcomic artists are self-depreciative, use alt text or write paraghraphs about what they just made, and take years to improve.

If I was also less lazy/had more time/had found a good picture for it, I would have added a background.

'Twas a good prelude to the Indiana Holmes meme.

The real use of Jokes or Humour is in quite a different direction, and it is specially
promising among the English who take their “sense of humour” so seriously that a
deficiency in this sense is almost the only deficiency at which they feel shame. Humour
is for them the all-consoling and (mark this) the all-excusing, grace of life. Hence it is
invaluable as a means of destroying shame. If a man simply lets others pay for him, he
is “mean”; if he boasts of it in a jocular manner and twits his fellows with having been
scored off, he is no longer “mean” but a comical fellow. Mere cowardice is shameful;
cowardice boasted of with humorous exaggerations and grotesque gestures can be
passed off as funny. Cruelty is shameful — unless the cruel man can represent it as a
practical joke. A thousand bawdy, or even blasphemous, jokes do not help towards a
man’s damnation so much as his discovery that almost anything he wants to do can be
done, not only without the disapproval but with the admiration of his fellows, if only
it can get itself treated as a Joke. And this temptation can be almost entirely hidden
from your patient by that English seriousness about Humour. Any suggestion that
there might be too much of it can be represented to him as “Puritanical” or as betraying
a “lack of humour”.

- Screwtape, The Screwtape Letters, Letter XI

Great, now even humor seems boring. Excuse me, I'll jump off a bridge before even suicide loses its charm.

Jokes aside, that's an interesting paragraph.

Well, a developer did make a comment on the White Island forum, and again last year they claimed they were going to add a fishing minigame, which they eventually did (although the joke still remains due to how much they claimed they were going to add). I may have to look it up later, because I remember trying the game out during the summer, but saw very quickly that it would take up space on my phone. Might just watch a walkthrough to get caught up on the story.

I know nothing at all about White Island!

Let me guess: Kevin Spacey is an actor that sexually harassed and/or abused several people in the past, and is being hounded for it now since that has been a thing since, well, forever, but started picking up speed once again in 2017.

I'll just say this on the entire matter: You reap what you sow.

Wise words.

He should have finished his apprenticeship with Mycen before attempting to become a journeyman.

Mycen? Why Mycen?

I think we've reached a the point in the lets play where brick jokes can now be a thing.

I'm so glad I started doing LPs.

On the bright side, they do make up for it by being memorable in gameplay.

Yeah, that much is true.

I mean, they kinda always were a thing. Except they either came with later editions of the game, and/or you had to call or mail someone to get the patched floppy disk in the, well, mail some time later.

That, or copy a friends copy, if you can get past the copy protection. That was a problem back in the day, and it still is now.

It's still not as bad as region locks. THOSE are the real devil here.

I care more about an outfits practicality than it's coolness factor. And once again, it's alright.

Of course you do. I can't say I agree with you, there. My favourite designs always belong to Mages, because they're the only ones allowed to dress fashionably.

Maybe it would be better if he did this?

...lol.

This is that can of worms I was talking about, because God in real life allows humans to write stories, and humans can create characters in said stories...

Let's just say "damnit, Kaga!" and leave it at that.

Hell is a choice. So is Heaven and following God. It's what free will is all about.

Good to know it's my fault that I'm going to hell. Just hope Gotoh isn't waiting for me there. Anyone but Gotoh...!

He probably would have, had not Runan been on the scene.

Hwahahah, sounds like him, to be sure!

Well, you did ask for encouragement. And since I'm not really in a position to directly help you, positive words are the best I got.

I suppose so.

I mean, it helps (and hurts) that this had an April Fools update added to it.

Yeah...

This made me laugh a lot more than it should have.

Hahah, thanks. I try, sometimes.

I was about to give a suggestion, but then say that you said "deuterangonist", so it wouldn't really count.

 

Yes, but that's Jar Jar Binks. Jar Jar does not count for anything.

I mean, that's pretty much the easiest way to describe that exposition in an update already filled with exposition.

In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best place to put it.

Not certain where Outer Heaven came from. I think it was a tired reference to Somecallmejohnny that really isn't all the notable, honestly.

...

I don't know who he is, so...

And once again all the Thank You's and I See's and all that.

Here's the customary You're Welcome's and Indeed's.

Aura Rain...

So the Aura spell, but as common as raindrops...

That's... a way to put it, yeah! We'll see it in action today.

...The enemies on the receiving end better hope they're good Touhou players.

...They better hope they're really good Touhou players...

I wish I knew a bit more about Touhou beyond "its music is kickass". Seriously, Touhou music's been my life as of late.

Short but sweet. Not really much more to say beyond that, other than it's nice see Eugen be understanding while still being himself.

Eugen is capable of some kindness, in fanfiction anyway.

I take it you can't be attacked by reinforcements in this game? That's usually the result of attempting to alternate between Alm and Celica in Gaiden/Echoes (although playing exclusively one side to completion leads to the other one having to face reinforcements added onto every other normal level when it's their turn to proceed).

Nope. Not as far as I know.

I know it's simple, but it's nice seeing Holmes not be a d*ck or an idiot in a scene. For once.

Yes, it's reassuring to know there's... something, in there. Anything good at all.

And the moments gone.

Honestly, I'd expected this to be the set-up for a "double-take" joke, where Holmes responses normally, only to realize that yes, his friend survived.

Alas...

Well...

I take it back. They did do that joke. And it is hilarious, if oddly presented.

Frankly? I think it's even more hilarious because it's not even a "double-take" joke: guy literally took like ten minutes to realize his friend was back from the dead.

Shigen just became even more awesome! Although does this mean that he's no longer playable?

Nah, playable as ever. In fact, he's the new Katri!

On a side note, I just realized how tired Shigen's portrait looked, and I had to check back to see if it was any different from before he "died" (it's not). Given he's friends with Holmes, I am not surprised.

He has to endure Holmes every day. I'd wager he loved nearly getting killed, since it meant he could get away from him for a little while.

This is the most fitting and self-aware line in all of Holmes route, if not the game as a whole.

Someone should put it in a frame.

Looks like having enough near-death experiences has sharpened Shigens wit considerably.

More like the game has finally allowed him to be plot-relevant, so he can at last put his wit to good use.

Wonder if Eugen has a similar story before being locked out of battle for good.

The guy more or less solo'ed the Imperial Army while Runan, Holmes, Arkis and Kreiss ran for their lives. That's awesome enough on its own right. And then he went and caved Holmes's forehead in. 'Nuff said.

Normally, I would criticize the game for blaming the player for something they had no choice in doing. However Barbarossa was handled so well that I don't really mind it here.

Helps that it appears less "you bastard" and more "inevitabilities and consequences of war".

Agreed.

Couldn't have said it better myself. It really is an interesting situation.

We'll see how the whole thing plays out.

Yep, this is the dark magic user that was mentioned several months back (thanks, @Interdimensional Observer! I also now understand what you mean by her early recruitment being counterintuitive).

It is quite counterintuitive, but when you know about it... hoo, boy. For once, I'm looking forward to playing Holmes, so I can use her!

And I see that you planned around upgrading her stats. Nice.

No way I'm letting this one go. Dark mage that can warp and has a kickass design and sprite? Get in!

Warp is powerful. And the greater one is, the harder they fall.

I can easily see this skill making or breaking the Lets Play.

Don't say things like that! You're giving me chills.

I was originally going to ask why an orange juice container was in the game, but I like your description better. I can't get the image out of my head now.

I mean, look at it, it's a book! Literally!

It is grammatically correct. I don't blame you for making the mistake, though. It's one of those "sounds better spoken aloud that written down" kind of things.

I see.

This is either foreshadowing or a twist on foreshadowing.

Hmm...

I can just hear his smug, calm, slimy voice just from this introduction.

Right? Isn't it just marvelous?

This is a good time to remind you that Mortal Kombat 11 has been showing off its kharacters fatalities lately, and that Youtubes automated content filter has mistaken the games gore for real blood at points.

Huh...

There are some characters you wish to give a slow, painful death, and others were you just want to send them to Hell as quickly as possible.

The Slaver fits into the former, but this guy is reaching his level at the speed of a rocket.

Top 3 horrible people in Lieberia:

1- Unnamed Slaver

2- Lentzenheimer

3- Richard(?)

It's like Kaga welded "please hate this guy" into Lentzenheimers forehead.

And it's working.

Hahahahah, good way to put it.

Having played an RTS before and ordering every unit in my army to attack one guy, I can vouch that it is not pretty.

Ouch...

Well, it's not bad (I rather like the sprite), but you are right it's pretty much just Lionheart with different colors, and Lionheart did it first.

Besides, I like Lionheart's blue turban better.

 

On 14/4/2019 at 9:21 AM, Dayni said:

.....

Nope. This is just sad.

Oh, well. You win this round.

Yeah yeah.

Sometimes you just feel like point out that something isn't perfect.

That I do. Forgive me, it's just so much fun to criticize!

Still a shorter rant than for Jahn. :P

That much is true. But it's only natural, few things are as dumb as Jahn.

That's not a compliment.

Believe me, it is, considering what will happen in this game.

That Zeig's a dick who left despite his doubts?

Hey, I like Zieg's story. It's just a problem that you need to (spoiler) to see it through.

To be fair, this one kind of works. It's like Eugen cuts me right off.

Ah, yes. One of, what, two thousand?

Her asskicking has to be limited by the time she has available to her. She spends enough time tear through enemies, she doesn't get the chance.

Maybe when she's older.

I can imagine she'd reach Niime's levels of old woman badassery when she's her age. Niime survived my FE6 LP, it takes special talent to pull that off.

It's what he's good at.

Grr...

PESCO.

You know the armed force the EU's trying to make integrating military in the EU.

I didn't know. Knowing the EU, I can only imagine it'll be the world's most laughable army.

Hence why I crossed it out.

Ah, I see.

I mean, there can be the same type of bug more than once.

Not like patching was much of a thing then.

But bugs that are turned into jokes a scene later?

Then again, Oblivion...

And he's now not allowed die for even more real.

I'm okay with this.

As I am.

(Though he'll still count as someone else dying if he does? Dullahan's still going to be necessary.)

He'll count as a reset, of course, which I still want to avoid.

I mean, breaking Holmes's skull isn't exactly impossible for people to do.

Eugen did it, and he supposedly can't swing a sword anymore.

This bastard looks like Arvis but his hair's white and he braided a bit.

This guy is someone I should trust as much as a man on the corner selling Avengers Endgame DVDs.

Insert generic avenge the fallen joke.

 Personal Warp as her skill. This is exactly the kind of thing to just throw at a problem and watch it come out the other side. (I also remembered her having better growths I guess)

Exactly.

Also, is she getting Occult scrolls?

You bet your ass, as soon as she gets to level 30.

I give it three fights.

If she dies, I'm holding you accountable, you jinxster!

That sentence is fine.

I mean, the structure could be considered somewhat archaic, which works better here, but it's fine.

Yeah, I thought so.

Wow, Joffrey really fell down a couple of positions in this universe.

Gonna guess Game of Thrones?

Lentzenheimer is confirmed to be worse than Guenchaos. I mean, he killed his mother over a scolding.

Dude, what the hell, you're an insult to sons everywhere.

Ah, yes, isn't he a joy of a person?

I think we're all cheering for him to die now.

Of course. It's only natural.

(Please tell me that when he says he has a use for his dad he doesn't mean that he's Oedepis but the parent's roles are reversed).

Oh, Jesus... that's foul, really foul. Problematically, though, I wouldn't put it past Lentzie... doubt he's into his dad, but men in prison do use rape as a way to assert dominance... and I could imagine Lenztie employing that, he's enough of a terrible bastard.

You know, I don't know if he's serious about feeling bad about killing his mother. Either way that's messed up.

I do know: he's not. C'mon, he's obviously being sarcastic there.

Eugen maxed out his sass and strength for his age, but he ran out of points for tactical nous.

Hahahah, tactics was his dump stat. But he has maxed speech, so who cares?

I assume Lentzenheimer's his only son.

Which I could absolutely believe is because Lentzenheimer killed his siblings.

Dude, he does not need any help being awful. Don't help him!

 

On 14/4/2019 at 12:59 PM, Mad-manakete said:

For some of us, it was tomorrow.

Damn you, earth! Stop spinning!

So LP Canon is that Eclipse is best mod?

That was always LP Canon. If only because she watches my back.

Bonus points if you get Fari from Wand of Gamelon to bring Zieg back. "Here's the traitor your majesty". Because if you don't it's happening anyway.

Poor, poor Zieg.

Well, technically she can kill him in PoR instead of recruiting him back... but that's non-canon because he's in Radiant Dawn.

Shinon's such a piece of garbage, I can't help but wonder if they didn't use Kaga's notes on Holmes to create him, but had the sense to not make him a main character. And then added a healthy dose of racism to compensate.

Sounds like Pretzel. Go figure Medeus wasn't the biggest threat to Archanea. Pretzel was.

Stupid, stupid him.

It fits well with an old trick I used to use where I took photos of my great-grandfather in military uniform, who had the same name and similar enough facial structure, and set them up in convenient spots to mess with visitors. Trick hasn't worked since I grew a beard out. Makes you see how myths of immortals spread when you've had fun with that sort of thing. That said, I'm lucky enough not to live in a time where I could have got staked for that.

You just need to feign PTSDs now.

Morshu, Shopkeep of Koridai.

Morshu and Bagman - Partners in Cash

Just watch, by the end of this I'll have one for all five games.

It wasn't so much me knocking Orson as saying Zieg is the same concept but executed in a way to allow the player more chance to get attached to him before his death... rather than after. I just kind of feel like the guy got screwed over by comparison.

Yeah, I get it. I dunno, I don't think the 5x part of Orson was as effective as chapter 16. It was important, for sure, but fuck me if "darling" wasn't the most fucked up thing in the entire GBA trilogy.

By coincidence, Steve Ditko, the artist who co-created Spider-Man with Stan Lee drew an Indiana Jones series back in the 1980s. The more more you know.

On 15/4/2019 at 7:08 AM, Mad-manakete said:

While he didn't draw all of them, he did take over the series "The Further Adventures of Indiana Jones" mid-run and had a few volumes.

If you don't get it, the name of Rentman from the Spiderman trilogy, Mr. Ditkovich, is a nod to Steve Ditko.

Because they wouldn't fit on a dog.

Now you can write the unofficial sequel, "1 chicken on a dog".

Did you just say you hate Hawkwing and want to confine him to a store for the rest of his days?

Hey, that's not what I said. I wouldn't want him to go anywhere near a place with items, since that thing he told me about plastic folding chairs. A padded cell would suit him better.

Pretty sure "Sirius" refers to how he has someone else waiting across the sea for him when he talks to Nyna in New Mystery. So that pretty much confirms Tatiana's alive. While checking that, I found there was also a memory prism in Shadows of Valentia which shows when Tatiana first found Camus on the beach... and he in his delirium refers to Nyna. If she was mentioned at all by the Whitewings (who I believe triggered the memories in "Zeke" by their presence) before they left, she probably worked put two and two together.

I mean, he never was very good at hiding his identity or his intentions or anything for that matter.

Frollo would love this. Especially German Frollo, who has a line that translates to "The sinners I despise them, I'm of a different, better stamp". Which is the most Frollo line in anything ever.

German Frollo's awesome.

Well, Shigen, you've wasted your time. Judging by the time it took to register that you were supposed to be dead, I'd say Eugen killed whatever was there to begin with. Holmes is a vegetable. Let's hope we don't run into any vegetarians, or this run could be messy.

Messy? Perhaps, but if Holmes gets eaten, perhaps we'll get Shigen as the deuteragonist!

And whatever was left of his brain.

Those one and a half neurons.

Jeeze. First evil Louise in New Mystery, and now evil Pent here. Let's just be glad that evil Louise and Pent never met so we don't have evil Clarine. Unless that becomes OC next LP.

Oh, no, please... that's too awful, even by my OC standards.

Just like a hollowed out bible used to hide a flask of whiskey.

Hwahahahah, good comparison.

The plates are prepared.

Are you sure you've prepared enough? 'Cause that's a lot of plates I'll be needing. One for his head, a thousand for his ego...

And the little turd even did the unforgivable. Using Vega. That's against the very principles of this run.

...son of a-- you're right! I didn't realize, but you're totally right!

How many did hiring Vega count for?

None, since I hadn't realized it. Now that I have? I've about 15 reasons to kill him. Do the math.

He "apologized" for sexual assault of a minor by coming out as gay in 2017, as if being gay means it's okay that he tried to molest a 14 year old boy. Consequently ruined his career and became the butt of a number of jokes regarding the fact he seems to believe he should be held to a different standard because of his orientation. So basically.

Really? I wasn't aware that he came out of the closet. That's so low.

Jar Jar Binks should have been revealed as a Sith Lord. It would have been hilarious if the idiocy was a perfectly rehearsed act and he was Vader's real mentor.

That would've made him actually relevant.

Only way he could have done it better is if he revealed he was a patron of Slaver's.

Ah, yes... but, hush. We don't want Hawkwing to start spitting foam.

Kind of an inverse of this is my recent playthrough of Final Fantasy II (a game that kills so many characters, playable or otherwise, there's an entire scenario in later versions revolving around the ones who did die in the afterlife). I got to the final boss... and got a pre-emptive strike, meaning I had a free first turn without him attacking me. So my plan went "have everyone cast Beserk on the guy with the bloodsword, which said boss is weak to because beserk stacks in this game and raises attack ". Second turn I attack, and inflict maximum damage with that character while everyone else buffs with magic like Blink, Haste and Protect. Then the boss retaliates with dispel to attempt to remove the buffs, but fails to hit Firion, who has the bloodsword... which is the one character he needed to hit. I proceeded to attack again on my third turn and win. Only damaging the boss twice. Only letting him make one move. It was hilarious. I didn't even have to max out my characters to pull off this strategy.

Ah, good ol' OP strategies in RPGs. DCMC pamphlet, anyone?

 

On 14/4/2019 at 1:03 PM, Aethin said:

Sadly, not really. My sister knows Castellano from minoring from Spanish and studying in Madrid, and my dad knows Chilean Spanish because of his work, but I'm the oddball with Japanese. I studied Latin for 3 years and still use it occasionally, so I can recognize some of the verb conjugations and lots of the vocabulary words (like huerto from hortus) if I try to read it, but it's not like I could write a coherent paragraph or understand a conversation.

Eh, it's all right. You know Japanese, that's like the Hard Mode of languages, from what I've gathered.

As for me, I learned english out of necessity, basically. Didn't like it when I was a child, until I realized that info about games in spanish was more scarce than in english and often lacking in quality.

Then I started playing games in english, mainly ones that weren't available in spanish.

Then I started to watch videos from english channels.

Then I started to play TF2 in english, because I liked the voice actors better and I was tired of talking to my friend and not knowing the english names of the items.

Then I started to play all my games in english.

And years later, here we are. I drive my best friend crazy. Guy hates english's balls, and wastes no opportunities letting me know how much he hates me for playing games in english even when it's not absolutely necessary. Although, he was a bit humbled when we found out that this exchange from Shadow Dragon was omitted in the spanish version:

Nyna:
“That hunger for danger worries me, Marth. Humanity’s hopes rest on your shoulders. I would sooner not see them crushed.”

Marth:
“Which? Humanity’s hopes, or my shoulders?

Having to go through one less layer of translation definitely helps. Plus, quality fanslations are 99% of the time made in english. Spanish fanslations are 99% of the time crap, if they even exist.

 

On 14/4/2019 at 8:52 PM, Hawkwing said:

That is all.

I loved this so much, I went ahead and did the rest of the scene. It's really big, so I put it in a spoiler. Here:

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yay! Now the Dullahan's is even more risky to use!

Ergh... since when?

Although now I'm curious what happens if Shigen died before this.

...

...you really need to take a break. College is doing a number on your mind.

I mean, considering that I asked Ruben to skin a fictional character alive, I don't blame him trying to protect others by putting a store shelf between them and me.

After the whole plastic folding chair thing, I can imagine you using a store shelf as a weapon. While cackling maniacally.

I see. And doing a quick search on wikipedia, he denied being gay earlier in his career.

Reputation takes years to build up, and only moments to destroy.

That's the harsh truth.

...If that were true...

Ruben, remember how I said Mortal Kombat 11 has been revealing its kontent lately?

We're going to steal a time machine to see what the actual Mortal Kombat XL will be like, to give you some ideas.

Okily dokily!

 

On 16/4/2019 at 10:20 AM, Pengaius said:

*God save the queen intensifies*

Hwahahahah, indeed!

Pronounced Shiv-awn (as in yawn) E-fah and kwee-vah, in case you are wondering. But those aren't even the fun ones wait till you meet a Tadgh O'Cheallaigh from Gweesalia, County Mayo, or someone like that. 

You still don't got shit on Wales. I searched "horribly long wales village name" and inmediately google knew exactly what I was looking for. Heck, even taking out the "wales", it still knows what I'm looking for!

I blame autocorrect, that or Rishel is his alter ego, I mean Rossellini just sounds so much more grandiose and all.

Maybe originally he was supposed to betray us instead of Zieg, becoming the Great Fire Sage of Gerxel, Rossellini. Yeah, let's go with that.

I have always been apt at screwing things up.

I can tell.

Yet you bear no crown, you call yourself Saintly yet will happily writhe in excess. You desire political power, to rule the roost. You are naught but hypocrisy's  lapdog, a clown of contradictions sitting on your paper throne. So amuse us o clown Rubenio, that is your purpose is it not. Come at me bro 1V1 me IRL

Pfft, I'm 1.90, one punch and you'll be the Holmes to my Eugen.

Please.

No please, I'm not doing shit with Arkis.

Did someone say kill for Arkis?

Did someone say kill Arkis? 'Kie dokie, I will!

Wow  Lenny, is a douche, kill him with Arkis to humiliate him, special sword be damned. 

Yeah, fuck that. I've never killed him with Julia, and I think their dialogue is ten times better than Vega's, and Vega's was already awesome, despite the fact that it's Vega. Looking forward to seeing that.

 

The place where people find text:

Spoiler

Inventory stuffs.

Map. This chapter can be tricky. Those ballistae are terrifying.

They all sport 22 attack, which is higher than I'd like. And if you're thinking "ah, just get through those enemies, cross the bridge and kill them all!", well...

It's not that easy. They're prepared for anything. Magic for physical tanks, arrows for Sasha, swordbreakers, one guy even has a halberd in case you try to zoom past them. All in all, really solid defenses, although if we can get past the initial bunch and make it to the ballistae, there's not really much else to this map.

Notice how there's no boss. We'll get to that.

I've got a plan, but first, let's promote Esther.

I like her new duds. But that horse! Look at it, it's magnificent!

Awesome. Mintz-tier defenses, and she's surprisingly speedy, too!

There's just one small problem: Esther doesn't have a nickname when she promotes. This is one of the few lasting issues with the patch that Aethin was unable to iron out. It's not much of a loss. According to FEWOD, her promoted nickname's just "Paladin of Verje", so yeah.

Anyhow, Lee hands over the Salia Codex to Kreiss, since he's about to level up.

It begins.

I don't know why I did this. That 5% crit... so dangerous. What the heck was I thinking?!

Nobody died, but I should be more careful. Also, why do the generics have the same palette as Lionel?

And thus, our newly promoted Paladin claims her first blood. May it be the first of many.

All right.

Esther's great defense pays off.

Her damage output is lacking, against this particular enemy, at least.

OH WHOA!

Kablooie! Boom, that's a lot of damage! Proud of ya, Esther.

Ack, dangit! Damnable wooden freaks!

Esther retreats to heal while Rishel hadoukens the Knight.

One level. One level is all it took him to outmatch all of my other Mages. Oh, well. Well done, Rishel.

Sasha kills a man, as usual.

Rishel will use the Sunflame to tank.

...uh, or not!

Bwahwah! Sasha cannot be stopped by flimsy arrows.

I know, I could've scorched him at melee range, but remember that this gives Rishel a little bit more experience. I'd like to leave Zemsellia with him promoted, so he'll be doing his utmost to at least reach level 10.

Done with that turn. Kreiss will take up the tanking mantle for this enemy phase.

Oh, that swordbreaker Soldier doesn't move? Bummer.

Yeah, like that was ever going to work.

Seems like it's text time.

Hey there. You're a new face, aren't you? Thanks to Aethin, I won't have to painstakingly crop out the background. Instead, I'll just open the portraits folder, and search for "Theodora". That's convenient. Thanks!

Theodora? Goodness, has something happened?

The guerrilla forces who have been attacking the northern Zoan provinces... Their leader claims to be your nephew, Prince Sennet!

What!? Theodora, tell me everything! What's been happening in the north?

About a month ago, a mysterious band of soldiers appeared and began liberating towns controlled by the Cult.

Sennet's been keeping himself busy, I see.

Both Barge and Sophia Provinces have now allied themselves with him. His supporters are growing rapidly.

I see... Do you believe he is really Prince Sennet?

I do. I heard all of this from your sister Princess Resshea of Sophia herself. She says he is unmistakably Arless's son.

Resshea is with him?! THen Sennet must truly still be alive...

Isn't this wonderful, Prince Julius? This is the chance we've been waiting for! Light is returning to Canaan!

Yes, my liege! It would be my pleasure!

And with that, Dholm's officially been abandoned by the Empire.

Not quite yet by his son, however. Little shitstain's still here.

We can't rely on the Empire anymore. The entire defense of Reeve, including your Razelia, is in our hands now.

Maybe those Canaan dogs have left, but I still have the protection of the bishops of Gerxel. I have nothing to fear.

Oh, and he's got Gerxel assholes on his payroll, like Pavlov! This guy's just great.

And me, Lentzenheimer? I haven't sold my soul to the devil like you, so I've got no protection!

Well, hey. He may be a coward, a traitor and a greedy bastard, but at least it seems he's not completely irredeemable.

Are you just going to leave me to die?!

...ooooooohhhh... Lentzie, on the other hand...

You betrayed King Badoum, thinking to save yourself, but Reeve's fall to the Empire was mostly your fault. If I were in Runan's position, I'd have you flayed, drawn, quartered, and burned.

From what we've seen of you, I don't think you'd need to be in Runan's position to do that to him.

So there's no way out of this...

It's not completely hopeless. You've still got a fortified position. If you want my advice, I'd raise the bridges before the enemy can cross over, then rain down on them with catapults.

And what of my soldiers already across the drawbridges? Are you telling me to sacrifice them?

This is war, Father. If you want to win, you can't waste your time caring about every little soldier.

Piece of garbage, I can just imagine the most effeminate yet psychotic evil laugh coming from his dirty mouth!

Preach.

You there, have the drawbridges raised! We can't allow the enemy to cross! We must hold the bridge at all costs!

 

Dholm and his underling come out of the castle. So here's the deal: that one generic Soldier will be heading towards the bridge. If he makes it there, he'll raise it, and we won't be able to get across. We better move, but how? There's still all the rabble to worry about!

Ah, it's ready.

Well, that is rain's all right.

That's new.

....That was an experience.

And now every enemy on the map takes 20 damage. You can't see it because I'm marvelous at screenshooting.

Ah, there we go. Say adios, ballistae, for the day of your death has arrived!

Aaahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Ahahah... hah... huh...?

...son of a BITCH they were left with 3 HP each!

Well, then. We'll just have to deal with it. Even if Aura Rain didn't destroy the ballistae like I'd have liked it to, it still weakened everybody else. Let's bring the fight to 'em!

That brave bow's serving Kate well.

One Mage down.

Astounding. I give him the item that increases growth rates and he gets the first bad level in forever.

Sasha's magic may not be as amazing anymore, but it's still pretty good. So much so, that she can still out-mage enemy Mages just fine.

This girl is amazing, I swear.

Brace for impact, folks...

Wait, they're... fleeing?

They're fleeing! They're running for heals! Great! Thank you, cowardly AI!

The Bishops heal one of the frontliners and... that one guy at the top of the map. Well, then.

GGGWWWWAAAAAAHHHH...!

Oh, I cannot believe it!

...KATE!

Esther dodges two bolts. Damnit, spare some of that luck for Kate... she's gonna need it!

Hey, strength! That's great.

Oh, goodness gracious... she can take exactly two shots.

Bwagh!

Heugh!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KATE!

...oh, thank fuck, it's over. Huff... ooooof...

Yeah, no.

Damn you, you wretched fool! I'm going to ruin you!

Hah! Like so!

Same goes for you! No escape! You shall all dye this river's water red today!

Protect your bodyguard, Sasha!

And you two, help her to her feet!

Right. A couple more turns, and those ballistae are history.

Healing the guy on the bridge to stall us? Smart. But it won't be enough!

This one was healed last turn, so he'll take a little longer to go down.

Mintz takes a couple bullets. I like that the arrows are recolored depending on the color of the weapon. However, it still looks like that generic fired it wrong.

Hey, it's the most important stat, I'll take it.

Ow, shit! Runan's going to be a little problematic, since he can't take a rock to the face.

Then there's Zach, who doesn't give a damn about anything. Come to think about it, why exactly is he here? I'd thought he would've liked to stay with his king, his queen and his princess that saved his life, but instead, he's come to dodge ballista fire with some guy he doesn't even know, in a war that doesn't even concern him. Guess he feels he owes Holmes, like everyone else, even though Holmes hasn't done jack shit ever in his life.

 

It's like it's him trying to hit the rock and the rock keeps dodging.

You're just showing off, Norton, c'mon.

Sorry, friends. No dice.

Oh, hey, it's a money bag man. Hand over the bag! We're the heroes, we deserve it more!

Perish!

Let's get started. That's one ballista down...

Two...

...two. well, it's okay. Runan and the healers will be waiting for the ballistae to fall. If you're wondering why I spared that one soldier, it's because I want to feed him to Rishel. Leonie's set for life, after all.

Hmph... such a waste of Paces a-Hundred Yet Still I Cure uses...

Everyone dances through the bolts.

Here we go.

Ah, that's more like it. Now I can tell that you truly are a TRS Mage.

Sorry, man. I cannot allow you to go any further. And the key is ours now! It should be useful some day.

Three more ballistae to the bin.

With only three left to harass them, Runan and Lee begin to move forward. Not Meriel, though. She couldn't quite get as far as I wanted her to.

The catapulters aim for Esther and Mintz, mostly, although one of them tries his luck against Lee. No chance, sorry pal.

Kreiss, let this level be more like it, please.

Dude, look at that defense. He's, bar none, my most defensive rider. And next Runan chapter, I'm going to be veeeery glad that he is. That's where the final step of the Leteena event takes place, the one that makes or breaks the whole thing. It won't be easy, but I don't think it'll be impossible, with this Kreiss.

Hack 'n' slash, everybody!

...d'ooohhhh, Kate!

Here's a nifty little detail I forgot to mention in the route split update: you know how Zieg's nickname was "Sorrowful Knight"? Well, after he left, Kate became the Sorrowful Knight. It's cool. Still, I can't say I like that she's too sad to get good levels.

D'aw, c'mon Esther.

I like how Leonie doesn't need Luna at all.

She does more damage without it!

Javelin throwing.

Subpar, Sasha. Just because you're amazing doesn't mean you get to slack off.

Storm the keep, people! Zemsellia's days are numbered!

Helps that the healers are hilariously stupid. In fact...

One of them's currently blocking half the reinforcements. Another Horseman was meant to come out of the tile he's standing on. Hah! You're the worst commander, Dholm.

You never had a chance.

I like how each of my Paladins has a distinct niche. Esther's speedy and lucky, Kreiss is tanky, San is an offensive powerhouse, Mintz is a jack of all trades, The Roger The Paladin is the...

And then there's Norton who's just hilarious.

This is just sad, Dholm. Admit defeat, and perhaps you will live. I can see Runan sparing you, despite everything. Not battle Runan, though. That one just wants to see the blood flow.

Norton hasn't had a chance to do much today. But he can get to show off a little now: he one-shots these guys with the steel blade.

That was... not necessary, but still, good.

Man, 65 damage. That's the kind of damage Raquel does when critting fliers. This is just a normal enemy with a non-effective weapon! There's something wrong with the fact that my single strongest unit is Norton. I knew I could count on you, you magnificent ugly bastard.

This was a bit of a crapshoot, at 60~%, but Rishel nailed it. Good effort!

Right now I'm just waiting out the reinforcements.

Letting the guys who didn't do much in this map shine.

Just like so. That'll be a level for her. Movement...?

Rats. 7 move's good for what I intend to do with her (two maps from here... well, not exactly, but you'll see what I mean), but 8 would be even better.

Still, 17 strength. I'd just like to point that out. And those fools from the reddit subforum put her in low tier... pfah! What do they know? I am the true pro here!

Rishel's probably going to solo the northern part of the map, so he can sneak in one more level before promoting.

Shouldn't be too difficult.

Down south, Norton does his things.

I move Rishel forward to lure in the Mercenary.

The Bishop intervenes, however. Trying to protect me from my own stupidity, because...

I didn't check his equipment. That could've been ugly.

But I did the math, and realized Rishel had just enough bulk to survive one crit. So I tried again...

But I made a terrible mistake.

See, Rishel survives one crit from this asshat... if he's at full HP. He is not at full HP.

It only hit me after the fight. Man, that could've gone so badly. I really need to be more careful.

At least I had the sense to end him quickly. Rishel's hitrate's a little too low for my liking.

Speed? I like. No bulk makes me sad, but oh well.

We got this, too. Neat.

Time to deal with the healer.

Gosh darn it!

Stop struggling!

Hm... this gives me an idea. Both Rishel and Norton have over 90 experience... heheheh... yeah, wait there, Bishop.

Zach is on visiting duty.

Please, take this charm with our blessing. All of us here in Zemsellia are praying for your victory!

Not bad.

Let's have another one.

I like this one.

And now... gotcha! Aha, time for my master plan!

First, Rishel wears him down.

Lovely.

And so, Norton does the foul deed.

Two more points of strength and he's capped. Holy moly. I know, no speed, but who cares, really?

And we got this, as well!

Dholm's ran out of reinforcements, too, so there's not much left to do than to confront him.

He's bad. That's all there is to say about him

Good luck with that.

Go ahead, delay the inevitable. There's only one way this is going to end, you know.

Fool fights better than he looks!

Runan, get your act together! You're losing to him!

Ah, fuck this.

There, it's over.

It's too bad that he had a brave bow Horsewoman to help him, while your Horsemen got one-shot by Norton. That's life, deal with it.

Sigh... I suppose this, too, is life.

Another one of these? I wonder if we'll be facing a Mage boss soon.

...eh? This house can be visited? I was not aware of that...

...what

...

...

...pfffftttttt

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Well, looks like San could've been promoted at a reasonable time, after all. I seriously had no idea this existed. I was just moving Norton about for no reason! Oh, well. With any luck, there'll be another Knight Crest that I don't know about in Holmes's route.

Man, Serenes really needs to update their records on TRS items. There's no mention of this anywhere!

Well, whatever. Let's do this.

Let's see what he looks like when he's promoted.

...oh, he's just Maruj but with colors that don't mix well together.

Still, I'll take those stats, especially the 6 move.

Only thing left to do is ending this Bishop's life.

No Paces a-Hundred Yet Still I Cure for me? Bummer. Oh, well. Let's go.

And with that, we can call it a wrap! Next time, we check out what Holmes's route has to offer, and watch Sierra's first performance. It should be fun, so be sure to stay tuned. I will see you next time. Farewell!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To be continued.

Death count: Attrom
                        Juliattisnacordst
                        Sharon
                        Krishna
                        Indiana Jones

Reset count: 2 (Runan: 1 - Katri: 1)

Dullahan's done with my incompetence: 6

 

[Punished Dayni]

On 4/14/2019 at 7:52 PM, Hawkwing said:

Although from what I've heard, Final Fantasy II is pretty notable for being dark for an NES game, subverting several cliches that soon became common in the series, and had the "you level up skills by using them" mechanic years before the Elder Scrolls made it famous. Although I've also heard that while the ideas utilized are neat, they didn't always work well in practice.

There's handling them badly and then there's FFII, imo the series worst by a long shot.

I would argue the way things were handled in this one just is so poorly executed. 

21 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I can imagine she'd reach Niime's levels of old woman badassery when she's her age. Niime survived my FE6 LP, it takes special talent to pull that off.

I mean, special talent is right for that LP.

21 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Insert generic avenge the fallen joke.

Fall in the Ave Enge.

22 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Gonna guess Game of Thrones?

GoT it in one!

22 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, Jesus... that's foul, really foul. Problematically, though, I wouldn't put it past Lentzie... doubt he's into his dad, but men in prison do use rape as a way to assert dominance... and I could imagine Lenztie employing that, he's enough of a terrible bastard.

Then again, the disaster that befalls Zemsellia's nearing on him.

24 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahahah, tactics was his dump stat. But he has maxed speech, so who cares?

Manages to convince people he insults to not try to attack him:

Speech 100.

24 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Dude, he does not need any help being awful. Don't help him!

He didn't need help to murder his mother.

The idea he kills his siblings is not surprising.

Joffrey looks delightful nezt to Lentzenheimer.

20 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Is Eugen the cause or the failsafe?

28 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

One level. One level is all it took him to outmatch all of my other Mages. Oh, well. Well done, Rishel.

He actually can grow stats.

Is this an illusion?

32 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lovely.

Rishel has all the mage growths!

Quick, stop him!

32 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Two more points of strength and he's capped. Holy moly. I know, no speed, but who cares, really?

I care a little.

33 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...

...

...pfffftttttt

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Well, looks like San could've been promoted at a reasonable time, after all. I seriously had no idea this existed. I was just moving Norton about for no reason! Oh, well. With any luck, there'll be another Knight Crest that I don't know about in Holmes's route.

Crest out of nowhere.

Shit, maybe San should have joined them.

34 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Okay, there's two obvious options: Renee and Margaret.

Unless this is someone new.

35 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So if I'm right, Albertus might want to charge in here.