The Roger The Paladin Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Seriously, the only thing they need to do now is reveal that he's a client of the slaver and he'll get it even worse than Makalov times ten. This sentiment seems familiar. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Yeah, I don't think having a gun would be enough to prepare anyone for the gore fetish you have. If anything, it'll prepare them to defend themselves from your gore fetish! I went too far there didn't I I'm so sorry To be honest, I've seen far worse. Always for some reason or another. Attempting to armchair detective The Jack The Ripper Case or the Hinterkaifeck murders resulted in finding some rather horrific images. Though whether they were horrific because of the gore or because of the stories that went with the photos is another question. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Just watch, by the end of this I'll have one for all five games. That'd be amazing. Though, as vile, evil, (ever notice that evil and vile are anagrams?), grotesque, and irredeemable as the Shroobs are... even they probably didn't deserve Slaver's face (despite being the nastiest thing in the franchise). I mean, that Waluigi look-alike might have fit the role better. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: If you don't get it, the name of Rentman from the Spiderman trilogy, Mr. Ditkovich, is a nod to Steve Ditko. Oh I know. I know a bit about Steve, given that at one point in my life, I was lucky enough to converse with the man, a rarity given he was the type to avoid comic-cons and the like. More on his work at Charlton comics (because who else remembers those) than anything else, but I could rattle off a few odd facts that aren't generally known. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Now you can write the unofficial sequel, "1 chicken on a dog". "Or 1 chicken on a dog on a trampoline." Though that might require actually doing something to get the photo. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Oh, no, please... that's too awful, even by my OC standards. Just remember, there'd inevitably be a death. OC villains tend to do that. Except Pretzel's yandere alternate reality self. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Really? I wasn't aware that he came out of the closet. That's so low. From memory, the rather infamous wording after acknowledging he'd done wrong in the past was "I now choose to live my life as a gay man". Which kind of made it obvious he thought the "you're so brave for coming out" would over-ride the disgust at his actions. But if anything it made it worse. I've seen a number of jokes relating to using the phrase as a defense for unrelated crimes, not limited to bank robberies, speeding tickets, and fraud. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Those one and a half neurons. Yeah, Holmes brain never was the same after they replaced Charlie Sheen. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Ah, good ol' OP strategies in RPGs. DCMC pamphlet, anyone? Thing is, the Emperor is meant to use dispel to remove buffs on your party and just got extremely unlucky and failed to when he needed. That battle is meant to be easy with the bloodsword due to increased damage output but not nearly that easy. Whereas the DCMC pamphlet may as well be an instant win in it's specific circumstance. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Then I started playing games in english, mainly ones that weren't available in spanish. Speaking of, Censored Gaming recently did a video claiming that the Spanish version of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time didn't get a proper Spanish translation, just a translation guide that came with copies. If that's true (which I was hoping you could confirm), I bet that'd give you a more natural feel playing the game than most over there. Mind I kind of suspect what it's like. I have a copy of Mother 3. I don't speak Japanese. Not the easiest arrangement. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: I loved this so much, I went ahead and did the rest of the scene. It's really big, so I put it in a spoiler. Here: Going to quote this and not the scene, but the blue screen is the best. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: After the whole plastic folding chair thing, I can imagine you using a store shelf as a weapon. While cackling maniacally. I once defeated a wild animal endemic to my country with a step ladder myself when it made the mistake of trying to attack me. Mind if I say what animal, it'd give the country away so badly it's not even funny. 2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: According to FEWOD, her promoted nickname's just "Paladin of Verje", so yeah. Maybe she couldn't be a Paladin of Verje because "The Roger" was "THE Paladin". 2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Nobody died, but I should be more careful. Also, why do the generics have the same palette as Lionel? It's like why the Milk Snake, a harmless creature, has evolved a similar colour pattern to the lethal Coral Snake. Like the milk snake's colour pattern draws caution from those who believe it has venom, the generic's palette fools commanders into deploying them believing they have a movement growth like Lionel. Alas, the commanders are fooled. For the generics are decisively lacking in that quality. Just as the milk snake can be identified by careful analysis of the placement of it's bands, so can the generic be identified by analysis of their statistic screen. 2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: And you two, help her to her feet! Humblee healing, having forgone pay. 2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: The catapulters aim for Esther and Mintz, mostly, although one of them tries his luck against Lee. No chance, sorry pal. He's divinelee protected. 2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I like how each of my Paladins has a distinct niche. Esther's speedy and lucky, Kreiss is tanky, San is an offensive powerhouse, Mintz is a jack of all trades, The Roger The Paladin is the... And then there's Norton who's just hilarious. Not to forget Arkis, who is just offensive to women and an ongoing thread theme at this point. Even if he's not a Paladin. 2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Man, 65 damage. That's the kind of damage Raquel does when critting fliers. This is just a normal enemy with a non-effective weapon! There's something wrong with the fact that my single strongest unit is Norton. I knew I could count on you, you magnificent ugly bastard. If there's one thing I've learned from reading fiction, it's that birth deformities give you superhuman strength. Look at Quasimodo, able to hurl masonry with relative ease (you really think ringing bells gave him that muscle?). Look at Killer Croc. Doomed to his scaly skin, but with the power to wrestle gators in Florida as his first job, and later to tear a bank vault's door right off by hand. 2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Rats. 7 move's good for what I intend to do with her (two maps from here... well, not exactly, but you'll see what I mean), but 8 would be even better. Still, 17 strength. I'd just like to point that out. And those fools from the reddit subforum put her in low tier... pfah! What do they know? I am the true pro here! I've always felt strict adherence to tier lists was a mistake of the "no-fun allowed" type. 2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Two more points of strength and he's capped. Holy moly. I know, no speed, but who cares, really? If you kill in one hit, what is a second even worth? 2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Well, looks like San could've been promoted at a reasonable time, after all. I seriously had no idea this existed. I was just moving Norton about for no reason! Oh, well. With any luck, there'll be another Knight Crest that I don't know about in Holmes's route. Man, Serenes really needs to update their records on TRS items. There's no mention of this anywhere! Either way, I'm predicting a Pengaius request. 2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Well I'm guessing that's a certain individual that a certain manakete is hoping to revive on Holmes route but is unaware the lack of body meant something else. I could also come up with a few toxins that are easy to come by. Like the cyanide in cherry pits. (one or two crushed pits being enough to kill). On a side note, I did a playthrough of the Dawn of Souls version of Final Fantasy I recently (I mean, that's the version of II I played, and it's a two-in one cart, so obviously) and named my team (A Warrior, Black Mage, White Mage, and a Monk) after characters that have been used in this and the previous two LPs. None of which are dead (at least yet). Want to take a guess at them and the reason for the name of the Monk, who is unique for being a class that doesn't have anything to do with the character he's named for. 1 hour ago, Dayni said: On 4/15/2019 at 4:52 AM, Hawkwing said: There's handling them badly and then there's FFII, imo the series worst by a long shot. I would argue the way things were handled in this one just is so poorly executed. The worst counting spinoffs/sequels/MMOs? Because I recall Dirge of Cerberus being pretty rancid. Though maybe I'm just sour because of the genre. And one hears things about the XIII spin-offs. Also the original incarnation of XIV, despite never having touched an MMO did get incredibly negative response. Just out of curiosity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punished Dayni Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Mad-manakete said: The worst counting spinoffs/sequels/MMOs? Because I recall Dirge of Cerberus being pretty rancid. Though maybe I'm just sour because of the genre. And one hears things about the XIII spin-offs. Also the original incarnation of XIV, despite never having touched an MMO did get incredibly negative response. Just out of curiosity. I mean out of the main series, probably needed to be clearer. I think that FF2 handles its new concepts pretty badly and in ways that have aged horrendously. It's also the worst of the "NES series whose second titles were out there" as well for similar reasons. I mean, All the Bravest is a thing, not even I would try to justify there's a lower point in FF than that. Edited April 17, 2019 by Dayni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Roger The Paladin Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 37 minutes ago, Dayni said: 49 minutes ago, Mad-manakete said: I mean out of the main series, probably needed to be clearer. I think that FF2 handles its new concepts pretty badly and in ways that have aged horrendously. It's also the worst of the "NES series whose second titles were out there" as well for similar reasons. I mean, All the Bravest is a thing, not even I would try to justify there's a lower point in FF than that. I try not to count All the Bravest... and this is coming from someone who would actually approve of the CD-i Zeldas being re-released, so that's pretty damning. Though it would speak well for the series if II was the lowest it got, given I found it passable. Even addictive. It's also a good thing you said "NES series", because if you were referring to any series having an out there "2", I'd have thought immeadiately of Pac-Man 2, the new adventures. Though does that even count as a second game when there were a whole bunch of other games including Pac Land and Super Pac-man in between? (I mean Miss Pac-man was there but that wasn't initially licensed). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 It's okay, Rishel's adorable too. Male mages unite! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tryhard Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 (edited) i do remember my strategy of dancing for double aura rain on turn 5. double apocalypse bonus for using the magic staff before doing so Edited April 17, 2019 by Tryhard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrightBow Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 The Power Staff works too. But Ruben missed out on Lyria, so that's not an option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asmont Osborne Posted April 18, 2019 Share Posted April 18, 2019 On 17/4/2019 at 9:12 PM, BrightBow said: The Power Staff works too. But Ruben missed out on Lyria, so that's not an option. Oh, wow, right. Lyria. Completely forgot she existed. Well, that speaks volumes about how much I like her. And I suppose having a fanfiction character with the same name doesn't help either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 Yesterday in a nutshell. On 4/15/2019 at 1:08 AM, Mad-manakete said: More of an excuse to post a picture of a couple friends doing their best impression of Duck Hunt Duo. Except with a different form of poultry and a friendship born from a mutual dislike of foxes. I see what you mean by friends. Out of curiosity, is that the same dog you mentioned earlier? On 4/15/2019 at 1:08 AM, Mad-manakete said: TL;DR version essentially being that it managed a story and ideas ahead of of it's time, but didn't balance the gameplay quite right. On 4/17/2019 at 8:49 AM, Dayni said: There's handling them badly and then there's FFII, imo the series worst by a long shot. I would argue the way things were handled in this one just is so poorly executed. I see. I got that impression from Projared's review of the game, but it appears to be that that sentiment is common. On 4/17/2019 at 11:01 AM, Mad-manakete said: To be honest, I've seen far worse. Always for some reason or another. Attempting to armchair detective The Jack The Ripper Case or the Hinterkaifeck murders resulted in finding some rather horrific images. Though whether they were horrific because of the gore or because of the stories that went with the photos is another question. I'm reminded of how little I've seen actual violence. I am thankful for that, don't get me wrong, but aside from seeing some dead animals on the side of the street, I don't really no how much blood and gore is spilled from actual wounds. Dunno, I've always been curious about what a real battle looks like, no matter the time period, and how much Hollywood/videogames under- or over-do things. On 4/17/2019 at 11:01 AM, Mad-manakete said: "Or 1 chicken on a dog on a trampoline." Though that might require actually doing something to get the photo. Like "borrowing" buying a trampoline first? On 4/17/2019 at 11:01 AM, Mad-manakete said: I once defeated a wild animal endemic to my country with a step ladder myself when it made the mistake of trying to attack me. Mind if I say what animal, it'd give the country away so badly it's not even funny. It probably wasn't as epic, but this was the first thing I thought of when you mentioned a stepladder. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Ergh... maybe? Spoiler I ask because they're honestly not that different from the jokes they're mocking, it's just that the context is changed. Such as saying that a +1 infinity sword or electricity gun will be more useful that my d*ck will ever be, or that the car with maxed stats is more worthwhile than a longer organ Or inverting it by saying that reduced stats for a longer thing wasn't worth the trade off. Nice for subverting expectations, but they're kinda predictable and not at all new. Don't know and don't care what the size of that organ is. The only thing that tells me is how likely it is that I may accidentally slash/shoot it off if I aim for the legs. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Even more boorish! Eh, don't blame you. Only other thing worth of note is that Kenshi was one of the most popular characters from the jump to 3D and one of the few to be welcomed back in MK9 as DLC... which both is and isn't saying something. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Yeah, I don't think having a gun would be enough to prepare anyone for the gore fetish you have. If anything, it'll prepare them to defend themselves from your gore fetish! Except I don't have a gore fetish. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if I just fascinated in a sense by that stuff simply because I was scared by it as a kid before getting desensitized to it, and as I mentioned earlier, I don't really have any real life references about what violence looks like. Not gonna lie, though. I do miss the days where blood used to freak me out a bit, and when I was innocent in that area. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: I went too far there didn't I I'm so sorry Apology accepted. You're also the second person to guess that I had a gore fetish. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Well, whoever was in charge of the compilation didn't do a good job at separating the good from the bad, clearly! ...You have a lot to learn, Ruben. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: I should read the bible some day. You should. You could spend a lifetime studying it. It is amazing how intertwined it all is. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: I didn't say a single swear word when I was younger. Just saying "shit" made me cringe. Then I grew a pair. The two times I swore like a madman in my life, I lost my voice. I learned my lesson. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: 'Twas a good prelude to the Indiana Holmes meme. I wish I knew how to add alt text. I got real snarky about cartoon physics in the process of making that. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Jokes aside, that's an interesting paragraph. It's an interesting book. My favorite one, in fact. I still find it ironically interesting that in a book about analyzing humanities faults and exploiting them (with the intent to open our eyes to our own sins), humanities virtues are at their clearest. It really is a blunt yet honest analysis of humanity. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: I know nothing at all about White Island! An point-and click puzzle horror game from the people that made Blustone. I tried it out, and thought that the "wait three days to unlock the next episode, or buy the game to get them all now" was a nice deal, although I had to uninstall it due to how much space it took up. Blustones weirdness and "turns left when you expected it to go right" style writing did not help me here, though, as in the prologue, people you know that have guns are coming. You have a choice of running down the hallway to the starting area, hiding in a room with a closet but no escapes, or in a room with corpses. The obvious choice would be the closet, but that's what I expected them to want me to think, so I hid in the room with the corpses... in a game that may or may not be about zombies. Needless to say, I died. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Mycen? Why Mycen? He was the first character that came to mind for the joke. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: It's still not as bad as region locks. THOSE are the real devil here. Never dealt with those, but I understand your pain. Well, except with getting the other Beyond the Bounds games, but I wouldn't understand the story anyway, and that's the biggest draw for me. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Yes, but that's Jar Jar Binks. Jar Jar does not count for anything. Twas a joke. Although he did have a hand in authorizing the clone army, and we all know how that went. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: I don't know who he is, so... A youtube videogame reviewer. A calm and balanced one, too. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: I wish I knew a bit more about Touhou beyond "its music is kickass". Seriously, Touhou music's been my life as of late. All I know is that it's the bullet hell game of all bullet hell games. Out of curiousity, I looked it up, and... Spoiler I see what you mean about the music being good. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Nah, playable as ever. In fact, he's the new Katri! On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Morshu and Bagman - Partners in Cash I am in-between saying this is glorious, and telling you to delete this. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Just watch, by the end of this I'll have one for all five games. I... am concerned about Bowser's Inside Story. I love the game, but the fact that you are literally inside someones body... still weirds me out, to say the least. Although the fact that Bowser turns giant in the "Rump Command" always made me wonder if Bowser could go giant unintentionally if someone kicked him in the butt or groin hard enough. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Hey, that's not what I said. I wouldn't want him to go anywhere near a place with items, since that thing he told me about plastic folding chairs. A padded cell would suit him better. Huh, I thought that you didn't react much to the plastic folding chair thing. I see I was wrong. Also, the walls, floor, and I assume ceiling in the padded cell could be used for combat purposes if a fight broke out there. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Nyna: “That hunger for danger worries me, Marth. Humanity’s hopes rest on your shoulders. I would sooner not see them crushed.” Marth: “Which? Humanity’s hopes, or my shoulders? Man, if the rest of the game is like that, then Shadow Dragon is underrated in that area. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: I loved this so much, I went ahead and did the rest of the scene. It's really big, so I put it in a spoiler. Here: Glad to see you enjoyed it! For some reason I hear the computer noises whirring once the blue screen came up. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Ergh... since when? I meant to say that it's more risky to rely on it for dying, in the rare-but-possible event you forget to equip it. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: ...you really need to take a break. College is doing a number on your mind. This sentence resonates with me so much it unfortunately lost its humor. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: After the whole plastic folding chair thing, I can imagine you using a store shelf as a weapon. While cackling maniacally. Hmmm... Calm strategy tactics music go! Spoiler So it depends on what kind of store shelf you're talking about. If it's a store counter, then it can be used as a blunt surface to smash the body, head, limbs, etc. against. Depending on how the grab was performed, I could smash multiple times, or follow up with punches (and possible kicks/knees, if practical) or both. If there are other items on the counter, and they can be used as improvised weaponry to inflict blunt and/or cut wounds, and/or for stabbing. Depending on their durability/mobility, I could even keep the weapon for later and/or throw it at another opponent. If it's the store shelf in an alley then I could grab them and cause them to fall over, either creating an obstacle to trip up the opponent, which can distract them and allow me to follow it up with another attack, and/or put myself in a more advantageous position, or for smashing the unfortunate soul caught underneath. I could also grab the table for some extra range and use it as an improvised weapon. If the situation is preferable, I could grab one store shelf and force someone against another one, causing pain under the uneven and odd surface, and either choke or punch/kick them until they are down. I could probably go on, but I have a lets play to comment upon. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: I like her new duds. But that horse! Look at it, it's magnificent! ...Why is she wearing a skirt on a horse again? On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Is it just me, or is that axe thrown at an odd angle when compared to the previous image? On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Looks like barely dodging hand axes is a common occurrence with magic users. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Bwahwah! Sasha cannot be stopped by flimsy arrows. Looks like Wally the Wyvern has become very twitchy to any and all attacks since being assigned to Sasha. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: And with that, Dholm's officially been abandoned by the Empire. Well that happened quickly. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: And me, Lentzenheimer? I haven't sold my soul to the devil like you, so I've got no protection! Well, hey. He may be a coward, a traitor and a greedy bastard, but at least it seems he's not completely irredeemable. Especially when compared to Letzenheimer. Wonder if that was intentional. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Are you just going to leave me to die?! ...ooooooohhhh... Lentzie, on the other hand... Lentz is showing himself to be the largest bastard in the game. And he's only appeared in one chapter so far. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: This is war, Father. If you want to win, you can't waste your time caring about every little soldier. Piece of garbage, I can just imagine the most effeminate yet psychotic evil laugh coming from his dirty mouth! ...Y'know, I can see why people are wondering why Dholm hasn't killed this guy yet. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: That's new. ....That was an experience. Uh... so... rainbow power? I mean, rainbows are made out of rain, which is nigh impossible to dodge, but, uh, I was expecting that to have more punch. Although with that symbol on the ground, it reminded me of this: Side-note: There as a single team, throughout the entire development cycle, dedicated entirely to the spell effects. Their efforts paid off. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Protect your bodyguard, Sasha! At this point, does she really need one? On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Mintz takes a couple bullets. I like that the arrows are recolored depending on the color of the weapon. However, it still looks like that generic fired it wrong. And it's even more blatant than the previous examples. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: It's like it's him trying to hit the rock and the rock keeps dodging. The rock travels inbetween realms, disappearing to the mortal eye, and, I don't know, going to a rock concert? On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: First, Rishel wears him down. And uses a flashbang for good measure. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Good luck with that. At least he's accepted his circumstances, and isn't taking the cowards way out. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Fool fights better than he looks! Guess the cornered rat strikes back. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: ...Is this were the slaver reappears? Even if he doesn't, stuff the sharp end of a weapon into this guys forehead. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: So... black market slavers... On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: To be continued. Hmmm... Interesting... I'm going to take a guess that this is where Leteena shows up again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Roger The Paladin Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 1 hour ago, Hawkwing said: I see what you mean by friends. Out of curiosity, is that the same dog you mentioned earlier? No. There's three dogs in the family, and the poor fellow with the chicken is blind. Mind the chicken is friends with two of three. The third (who is the one who hangs around me) not really having met the others because of the set-up here being more than a little confounding. 1 hour ago, Hawkwing said: Like "borrowing" buying a trampoline first? My grandparents had one since my father was a kid... so that' not an issue. But as one might guess, getting a blind dog on a trampoline would confuse the hell out of him... whereas getting the chicken on him is just a matter of letting it happen. 1 hour ago, Hawkwing said: Although the fact that Bowser turns giant in the "Rump Command" always made me wonder if Bowser could go giant unintentionally if someone kicked him in the butt or groin hard enough. I'd guess that it's more of an adrenaline thing. One can note he usually goes giant when it's needed. Though that makes you question why he was so huge in his slime bath in Sunshine... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pengaius Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 On 17/04/2019 at 12:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said: Pfft, I'm 1.90, one punch and you'll be the Holmes to my Eugen. You mean I can actually fight and you'll be a feeble, senile old man dumb enough to fall for Codha's traps? I think I'm good. Also your height is meaningless due to you being really lanky, whereas I am 169cm of pure Grade A Chonk. On 17/04/2019 at 12:36 PM, Saint Rubenio said: Piece of garbage, I can just imagine the most effeminate yet psychotic evil laugh coming from his dirty mouth! asi? Well hey you can promote Arkis now for that sweet, sweet bronze paladin indoor move. Please, for me you still haven't given him the level yet, it's not like he wants you to use him or anything b-baka. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Roger The Paladin Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Spoiler Make way, for Bishop Lee. Say hey, to Bishop Lee. So, Time to stow All old tiers for this game. Hey, mate. Let's update. There's a new top tier name. Come, be the first on Serenes to realize. He can heal, can fight. Foes fall to his might. Potential unrecognized. Bishop Lee, CertainLee the best of all healers. Can use spells, Isn't he swell. Sure beats Katri. Now try your best to keep cool, As he makes foes look like a fool. He does his job so spectacularLee. Bishop Lee, AdequateLee, Set up with bases. His stats are fine. Utility is where he shines. Definitelee. He gives Plum a staff that gives more defense. Picking him just makes sense. You'd have to be quite dense. To leave Bishop Lee. He's got thunder, he's got wind, he's got fire. He's got staves of each category. If your units about to expire. Then there's a staff, Whose name brings a laugh, With which he can heal SafeLee. Bishop Lee. InfiniteLee Better than Enteh. He's what you seek, Comes with near peak, Availability. Even if he has no hair, He can attack using air, You'll find no better healer anywhere Than Bishop Lee. He's got all of the above mentioned traits, (his name leads to puns, let's see some puns) Yet Marlon lent him for free. (Marlon's generous, so generous) He sends your early game foes to their fates. He may be a beast, But he's still a priest. He doesn't care about glory. Don't you see, Bishop Lee, You're gonna be, A future Legend. Heard Codha peed his pants. Now that's just funny. And that oh readers is why, Guenchaos will curl up and die. Because when he planned he didn't account, For the fact a healer could do this amount, Of damage to his glorious plan, Because he simply didn't understand, The potential utility, Of A Man Called LEE. Felt bored. Decided to write a silly take on Prince Ali (Prince ALee? Thought about doing a "HercuLees" one to go with another image... but this was easier) to kill time while waiting for the next part. Not perfect, I couldn't get one part to flow very well. See if you can spot it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 For the record, I was rushed last time, so that's why I didn't comment as much on the update, as well as why there are so many spelling errors. On 4/18/2019 at 9:29 PM, Hawkwing said: You're also the second person to guess that I had a gore fetish. I realize this could be read opposite of my intent. It should be "take a guess". Not too much different, but I wanted to clear that up. On 4/18/2019 at 11:18 PM, Mad-manakete said: No. There's three dogs in the family, and the poor fellow with the chicken is blind. Mind the chicken is friends with two of three. The third (who is the one who hangs around me) not really having met the others because of the set-up here being more than a little confounding. On 4/18/2019 at 11:18 PM, Mad-manakete said: My grandparents had one since my father was a kid... so that' not an issue. But as one might guess, getting a blind dog on a trampoline would confuse the hell out of him... whereas getting the chicken on him is just a matter of letting it happen. I see. Wish I could say more than "that's interesting", but I don't have much more to comment upon. On 4/18/2019 at 11:18 PM, Mad-manakete said: I'd guess that it's more of an adrenaline thing. One can note he usually goes giant when it's needed. Though that makes you question why he was so huge in his slime bath in Sunshine... Fair point about the adrenaline thing. Didn't think about it that way. The bigger question though, is why Bowser was in the bathtub in the first place. 2 hours ago, Mad-manakete said: Hide contents Make way, for Bishop Lee. Say hey, to Bishop Lee. So, Time to stow All old tiers for this game. Hey, mate. Let's update. There's a new top tier name. Come, be the first on Serenes to realize. He can heal, can fight. Foes fall to his might. Potential unrecognized. Bishop Lee, CertainLee the best of all healers. Can use spells, Isn't he swell. Sure beats Katri. Now try your best to keep cool, As he makes foes look like a fool. He does his job so spectacularLee. Bishop Lee, AdequateLee, Set up with bases. His stats are fine. Utility is where he shines. Definitelee. He gives Plum a staff that gives more defense. Picking him just makes sense. You'd have to be quite dense. To leave Bishop Lee. He's got thunder, he's got wind, he's got fire. He's got staves of each category. If your units about to expire. Then there's a staff, Whose name brings a laugh, With which he can heal SafeLee. Bishop Lee. InfiniteLee Better than Enteh. He's what you seek, Comes with near peak, Availability. Even if he has no hair, He can attack using air, You'll find no better healer anywhere Than Bishop Lee. He's got all of the above mentioned traits, (his name leads to puns, let's see some puns) Yet Marlon lent him for free. (Marlon's generous, so generous) He sends your early game foes to their fates. He may be a beast, But he's still a priest. He doesn't care about glory. Don't you see, Bishop Lee, You're gonna be, A future Legend. Heard Codha peed his pants. Now that's just funny. And that oh readers is why, Guenchaos will curl up and die. Because when he planned he didn't account, For the fact a healer could do this amount, Of damage to his glorious plan, Because he simply didn't understand, The potential utility, Of A Man Called LEE. Felt bored. Decided to write a silly take on Prince Ali (Prince ALee? Thought about doing a "HercuLees" one to go with another image... but this was easier) to kill time while waiting for the next part. Not perfect, I couldn't get one part to flow very well. See if you can spot it. Not gonna lie, I played the original song while reading this. Not a perfect match-up, but a fun and enjoyable read regardless. I'll take a guess that the "As he makes foes look like a fool" line is the one you're talking about? On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: ...lol. Admittedly, I posted that because DOOM ETERNAL is keeping it: On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Only way he could have done it better is if he revealed he was a patron of Slaver's. Ah, yes... but, hush. We don't want Hawkwing to start spitting foam. Especially as I'm realizing that Lentzenheimer just so happens to be introduced in the same chapter that these new slavers appear... On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Esther retreats to heal while Rishel hadoukens the Knight. Or he does an Endokuken, which is one handed. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Rishel will use the Sunflame to tank. ...uh, or not! I just realized the pun here. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Sennet's been keeping himself busy, I see. Once again, it seems like this part of the game was planned for a sequel or expansion, but it didn't happen. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Astounding. I give him the item that increases growth rates and he gets the first bad level in forever. Irony in it's surest form. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Dude, look at that defense. He's, bar none, my most defensive rider. And next Runan chapter, I'm going to be veeeery glad that he is. That's where the final step of the Leteena event takes place, the one that makes or breaks the whole thing. It won't be easy, but I don't think it'll be impossible, with this Kreiss. Glad to see that going out of your way for the event is about to pay off. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: Another one of these? I wonder if we'll be facing a Mage boss soon. Not so subtle foreshadowing, I suppose. On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: And with that, we can call it a wrap! Next time, we check out what Holmes's route has to offer, and watch Sierra's first performance. It should be fun, so be sure to stay tuned. I will see you next time. Farewell! On 4/17/2019 at 7:36 AM, Saint Rubenio said: To be continued. ...Wait, so we'll have to, well, wait to see how this new plotline continues? ...I understand the pain of TV show watchers now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted April 22, 2019 Author Share Posted April 22, 2019 Part 46 - Twenty thousand words over the sea - part 1. So, uh. There's a huuuuuuuuge lore dump right around the corner. Biggest plot dump in the entire game, in fact. Just so you get an idea of how big this is going to be, the folder containing all the screenshots of text up to the next chapter has 390 screenshots. That's before adding my stuff (I tried to keep it short, don't worry). Doesn't sound like a lot, compared to my gameplay updates, does it? Well, the average text update has around 150~. This beats even Rishel's bible - with all my side story stuff included - by a few dozen shots. However, since I'm not an asshole like the game, I've decided to divide the update in two. What this means is that this update and the next will both be a text update. Sorry if you're not too fond of these, but it's the best solution I can think of. The update would take me seven weeks if I didn't do this. Wouldn't recommend skipping anything, it's interesting stuff, but I understand some might find it too heavy, and it's not too important for the actual plot, just worldbuilding. With that out of the way, onwards to the update. My text bold: Spoiler On 17/4/2019 at 2:49 PM, Dayni said: There's handling them badly and then there's FFII, imo the series worst by a long shot. I would argue the way things were handled in this one just is so poorly executed. I only ever played like a couple hours of FFVI, so... I mean, special talent is right for that LP. A lot of special talent was involved in its making. Just, not the kind of talent anyone'd wish to have. Fall in the Ave Enge. Hah! GoT it in one! Hurrah, I am winner! Then again, the disaster that befalls Zemsellia's nearing on him. It's going to be a while before we can get to him. Especially given the way I'm going to handle his chapters... Manages to convince people he insults to not try to attack him: Speech 100. Eugen broke the speech cap. He didn't need help to murder his mother. The idea he kills his siblings is not surprising. Joffrey looks delightful nezt to Lentzenheimer. I just looked him up, since you keep mentioning him... Kaga did it first? 'Cause I swear that's fucking blonde Lentzenheimer right there. Is Eugen the cause or the failsafe? Eugen is probably the cause of many failsafes. He actually can grow stats. Is this an illusion? Probably so. Rishel has all the mage growths! Quick, stop him! Hey, I must admit, I am begrudgingly glad to have a Mage that knows what growths are. I care a little. Well, I don't, and I'm the one behind the wheel here, so... Crest out of nowhere. Shit, maybe San should have joined them. Perhaps, but oh well, too late. Okay, there's two obvious options: Renee and Margaret. Unless this is someone new. Who knows... So if I'm right, Albertus might want to charge in here. Ah, who knows what the future may hold... On 17/4/2019 at 5:01 PM, Mad-manakete said: This sentiment seems familiar. I wonder why. To be honest, I've seen far worse. Always for some reason or another. Attempting to armchair detective The Jack The Ripper Case or the Hinterkaifeck murders resulted in finding some rather horrific images. Though whether they were horrific because of the gore or because of the stories that went with the photos is another question. It frankly shocks me how images of real bodies are the first thing to come up when you google Hinterkaifeck. Normally google isn't so quick to let those slip through... That'd be amazing. Though, as vile, evil, (ever notice that evil and vile are anagrams?), grotesque, and irredeemable as the Shroobs are... even they probably didn't deserve Slaver's face (despite being the nastiest thing in the franchise). I mean, that Waluigi look-alike might have fit the role better. They strapped living Toads to trees to become batteries. Oh I know. I know a bit about Steve, given that at one point in my life, I was lucky enough to converse with the man, a rarity given he was the type to avoid comic-cons and the like. More on his work at Charlton comics (because who else remembers those) than anything else, but I could rattle off a few odd facts that aren't generally known. If you ever see him again, you need to show him my memes. "Or 1 chicken on a dog on a trampoline." Though that might require actually doing something to get the photo. Yeah, that's too bad. Just remember, there'd inevitably be a death. OC villains tend to do that. Except Pretzel's yandere alternate reality self. Thus far, it's Orlo recolor nº 4 that holds the record. How curious. From memory, the rather infamous wording after acknowledging he'd done wrong in the past was "I now choose to live my life as a gay man". Which kind of made it obvious he thought the "you're so brave for coming out" would over-ride the disgust at his actions. But if anything it made it worse. I've seen a number of jokes relating to using the phrase as a defense for unrelated crimes, not limited to bank robberies, speeding tickets, and fraud. I'm going to be entirely forthcoming with you here, the most I know about the guy, beyond the obvious, is that he was involved in a movie called Nine Lives because a youtuber I like reviewed it. Christopher Walken was also there, y'know, the guy who was one of the four people in the same boat where actress Natalie Wood died after falling off the boat by accident... or murdered by her husband, nobody knows for sure. Whatever happened, Walken is very fond of avoiding the subject. For what seems like an innocent shitty movie, it sure has a colorful cast. Yeah, Holmes brain never was the same after they replaced Charlie Sheen. And then Jake was replaced also... as terrible as the final seasons of that show were, I find it positively hilarious that the one guy they couldn't move, the one who was there from start to finish, was Alan of all people. I suppose the joke trascended the fourth wall in this instance. Thing is, the Emperor is meant to use dispel to remove buffs on your party and just got extremely unlucky and failed to when he needed. That battle is meant to be easy with the bloodsword due to increased damage output but not nearly that easy. Whereas the DCMC pamphlet may as well be an instant win in it's specific circumstance. Yeah, I never really used the pamphlet. I liked giving that guy a fighting chance. Same reason I never grinded to PK Ground. Man, I need to replay Mother 3. Speaking of, Censored Gaming recently did a video claiming that the Spanish version of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time didn't get a proper Spanish translation, just a translation guide that came with copies. If that's true (which I was hoping you could confirm), I bet that'd give you a more natural feel playing the game than most over there. Mind I kind of suspect what it's like. I have a copy of Mother 3. I don't speak Japanese. Not the easiest arrangement. I have no idea, I never was much of a fan of Zelda, sorry. Going to quote this and not the scene, but the blue screen is the best. Hwahahahah, right? I feel pretty proud of it, myself. I once defeated a wild animal endemic to my country with a step ladder myself when it made the mistake of trying to attack me. Mind if I say what animal, it'd give the country away so badly it's not even funny. Ah, I see. Maybe she couldn't be a Paladin of Verje because "The Roger" was "THE Paladin". Of course, how did I not see it?! It's like why the Milk Snake, a harmless creature, has evolved a similar colour pattern to the lethal Coral Snake. Like the milk snake's colour pattern draws caution from those who believe it has venom, the generic's palette fools commanders into deploying them believing they have a movement growth like Lionel. Alas, the commanders are fooled. For the generics are decisively lacking in that quality. Just as the milk snake can be identified by careful analysis of the placement of it's bands, so can the generic be identified by analysis of their statistic screen. How did we get here? Humblee healing, having forgone pay. He's divinelee protected. Not these again! I was starting to feel releeved that you'd stopped! Not to forget Arkis, who is just offensive to women and an ongoing thread theme at this point. Even if he's not a Paladin. I didn't count him because he's not a Paladin and he never will be. There's that. If there's one thing I've learned from reading fiction, it's that birth deformities give you superhuman strength. Look at Quasimodo, able to hurl masonry with relative ease (you really think ringing bells gave him that muscle?). Look at Killer Croc. Doomed to his scaly skin, but with the power to wrestle gators in Florida as his first job, and later to tear a bank vault's door right off by hand. There's also Gonzales, everyone's favourite playable Brigand (because the only other one is Marty). Then there's my first character from Dark Souls. If there was ever an exception to the rule, it's him. He's a Mage that can't use magic because I am terrible, so he just uses his sword to kill things badly. I also dropped him two hours in and made an actually reasonable character. Cleric, this time. Having a blast with the game thus far. I've always felt strict adherence to tier lists was a mistake of the "no-fun allowed" type. I enjoy reading tier lists, mostly for the arguments, but I never do use them. If I did, I wouldn't be using half my team! Would you believe, they put Norton below Arkis? The gall of those people! If you kill in one hit, what is a second even worth? Exactly. Either way, I'm predicting a Pengaius request. It's all he ever does these days. Can't blame him, I'm barely getting any deaths in this playthrough. Well I'm guessing that's a certain individual that a certain manakete is hoping to revive on Holmes route but is unaware the lack of body meant something else. I could also come up with a few toxins that are easy to come by. Like the cyanide in cherry pits. (one or two crushed pits being enough to kill). Shh, don't ruin it... On a side note, I did a playthrough of the Dawn of Souls version of Final Fantasy I recently (I mean, that's the version of II I played, and it's a two-in one cart, so obviously) and named my team (A Warrior, Black Mage, White Mage, and a Monk) after characters that have been used in this and the previous two LPs. None of which are dead (at least yet). Want to take a guess at them and the reason for the name of the Monk, who is unique for being a class that doesn't have anything to do with the character he's named for. Hmmm Warrior, Black Mage, White Mage, and Monk... Gonna guess the Warrior's Lot, the Black Mage's either Raigh or Etzel, White Mage's Maruj, and Monk's... ...why the heck is the FF monk Masaru from Live-a-Live? Eh, whatever. ...ooohhhhh one of the default names for the monk class is Marcus! I see where this is going... Also, Arvis. Funny coincidences all around. On 17/4/2019 at 8:44 PM, eclipse said: It's okay, Rishel's adorable too. Well, somebody's got her priorities straight. Male mages unite! And Meriel! On 17/4/2019 at 8:50 PM, Tryhard said: i do remember my strategy of dancing for double aura rain on turn 5. double apocalypse Yeah, too bad I don't have Plum with Runan. bonus for using the magic staff before doing so Yeah, too bad I don't have Mel with Runan. On 17/4/2019 at 9:12 PM, BrightBow said: The Power Staff works too. But Ruben missed out on Lyria, so that's not an option. Yeah, too bad I don't have Lyria with-- wait, what? How'd the power staff do anything? I thought that only boosted strength! On 18/4/2019 at 11:00 PM, Goddess Serra said: Oh, wow, right. Lyria. Completely forgot she existed. Well, that speaks volumes about how much I like her. To be fair, she appeared in a grand total of one cutscene and I couldn't even recruit her. And I suppose having a fanfiction character with the same name doesn't help either. ...though I suppose I agree, since I also completely forgot she existed. On 19/4/2019 at 3:29 AM, Hawkwing said: Yesterday in a nutshell. Ahahah, great. I was wondering why you were taking so long, actually. I'm reminded of how little I've seen actual violence. I am thankful for that, don't get me wrong, but aside from seeing some dead animals on the side of the street, I don't really no how much blood and gore is spilled from actual wounds. Dunno, I've always been curious about what a real battle looks like, no matter the time period, and how much Hollywood/videogames under- or over-do things. I'm mostly the same, actually. That's so hilariously dumb. It probably wasn't as epic, but this was the first thing I thought of when you mentioned a stepladder. Reveal hidden contents I ask because they're honestly not that different from the jokes they're mocking, it's just that the context is changed. Such as saying that a +1 infinity sword or electricity gun will be more useful that my d*ck will ever be, or that the car with maxed stats is more worthwhile than a longer organ Or inverting it by saying that reduced stats for a longer thing wasn't worth the trade off. Nice for subverting expectations, but they're kinda predictable and not at all new. Don't know and don't care what the size of that organ is. The only thing that tells me is how likely it is that I may accidentally slash/shoot it off if I aim for the legs. Ah, I see. I'm more into the more subtle dirty jokes, see. Eh, don't blame you. Only other thing worth of note is that Kenshi was one of the most popular characters from the jump to 3D and one of the few to be welcomed back in MK9 as DLC... which both is and isn't saying something. Ah. Except I don't have a gore fetish. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if I just fascinated in a sense by that stuff simply because I was scared by it as a kid before getting desensitized to it, and as I mentioned earlier, I don't really have any real life references about what violence looks like. Hey, that's exactly me! I was scared to death of blood when I was a child, but nowadays I barely give much of a damn. Heads getting cut off don't make me cringe at all, but then there's things like the infamous Spongebob toe nail scene. Hot damn, I still remember how much I suffered the first time I saw that... modern Spongebob is horrible. Please don't look it up, you'll be happier that way. Not gonna lie, though. I do miss the days where blood used to freak me out a bit, and when I was innocent in that area. I don't. Apology accepted. You're also the second person to guess that I had a gore fetish. Didn't even guess it seriously, though. ...You have a lot to learn, Ruben. Ah, finally given up, have you? You should. You could spend a lifetime studying it. It is amazing how intertwined it all is. Ah, I'd find a plothole just to spite you. The two times I swore like a madman in my life, I lost my voice. I learned my lesson. Yeah, well, you can't just go overboard, but swearing can be so therapeutic... I wish I knew how to add alt text. I got real snarky about cartoon physics in the process of making that. In paint.net? There's a T among the tools in the tool window. That's what you use to add text. It's an interesting book. My favorite one, in fact. I still find it ironically interesting that in a book about analyzing humanities faults and exploiting them (with the intent to open our eyes to our own sins), humanities virtues are at their clearest. It really is a blunt yet honest analysis of humanity. I understand. Mayhap I'll look it up at some point. An point-and click puzzle horror game from the people that made Blustone. I tried it out, and thought that the "wait three days to unlock the next episode, or buy the game to get them all now" was a nice deal, although I had to uninstall it due to how much space it took up. > Horror game. > Fishing minigame. What? Blustones weirdness and "turns left when you expected it to go right" style writing did not help me here, though, as in the prologue, people you know that have guns are coming. You have a choice of running down the hallway to the starting area, hiding in a room with a closet but no escapes, or in a room with corpses. The obvious choice would be the closet, but that's what I expected them to want me to think, so I hid in the room with the corpses... in a game that may or may not be about zombies. Needless to say, I died. When'd the closet ever be the obvious choice? You've nowhere to go, and if there's only a closet in the entire room, they're obviously going to search it! I'd much rather run while I still have a head start. Maybe wait for them around the corner and clock them over the head. He was the first character that came to mind for the joke. Exclamation, I observe. Never dealt with those, but I understand your pain. I mean, neither have I, but that's because I never had a console until the Wii, so I just used emulators my entire childhood. Well, except with getting the other Beyond the Bounds games, but I wouldn't understand the story anyway, and that's the biggest draw for me. Not for me, personally. A good story's great, but I place the gameplay far above it. Twas a joke. Although he did have a hand in authorizing the clone army, and we all know how that went. Huh... But what about the droid attack on the wookies? A youtube videogame reviewer. A calm and balanced one, too. I view. All I know is that it's the bullet hell game of all bullet hell games. Out of curiousity, I looked it up, and... Reveal hidden contents I see what you mean about the music being good. Yes, it's not the kind of game you'd want to play, but rather listen to and observe. Those patterns are awesome. Yay indeed! I am in-between saying this is glorious, and telling you to delete this. I won't delete it, so you better focus on the first part. I... am concerned about Bowser's Inside Story. I love the game, but the fact that you are literally inside someones body... still weirds me out, to say the least. So it does, hm. Friendly piece of advice, don't ever enter DeviantArt. You'll find people being inside someone's body is but the tip of the iceberg. Although the fact that Bowser turns giant in the "Rump Command" always made me wonder if Bowser could go giant unintentionally if someone kicked him in the butt or groin hard enough. What good is being a giant if you've been Maerchen'd? Huh, I thought that you didn't react much to the plastic folding chair thing. I see I was wrong. I didn't, it just came to my mind. Also, the walls, floor, and I assume ceiling in the padded cell could be used for combat purposes if a fight broke out there. What, you're just gonna rip out a pad and smother the enemy with it? ...don't answer that. Man, if the rest of the game is like that, then Shadow Dragon is underrated in that area. It is. The whole game's basically "Marth talks to Malledus and Nyna", but unlike "Roy talks to Merlinus and Delphin", it's actually really entertaining because it's gloriously written. Not to mention, while most characters don't get that many lines, what's there is usually damn good. I still regard Horace's chapter as one of the highest points in the game, and the fact that the main character's love interest is Archanea's biggest slut never ceases to amaze me. Storywise, I personally prefer FE11 to FE12, even if it does lack Arran's amazing story from 12. Frankly, the only thing I truly hate about it is how wasted Hardin was. He deserved more importance, given his role in FE12. And then there's the prologue. Say what you will about Shadow Dragon, but there isn't a single game in the series that's done as much of a good job at conveying just how terrible the war has been on the protagonist as Shadow Dragon with its prologue. Normally the invasion's just mentioned in the opening text, and then you cut right to the chase. In SD, you get to watch as child Marth loses literally everything, barely escapes with his life fighting his way through with a handful of knights - while being forced to leave his sister and mother behind - , and doesn't even make it out with his whole team alive. There's a reason I like Frey so much, and what you see in FE12 is not it. It's just all sorts of good, if you approach it with a different mindset than the rest of the series. There's a lot more focus on the main character than in other games, and the rest of the cast gets, by comparison, a lot less. You need to make peace with these facts before you start. Glad to see you enjoyed it! For some reason I hear the computer noises whirring once the blue screen came up. Hahah, right? I meant to say that it's more risky to rely on it for dying, in the rare-but-possible event you forget to equip it. Ah, well... I suppose so. It has 8 uses left, anyway. This sentence resonates with me so much it unfortunately lost its humor. I'm sorry... Hmmm... Calm strategy tactics music go! Reveal hidden contents So it depends on what kind of store shelf you're talking about. If it's a store counter, then it can be used as a blunt surface to smash the body, head, limbs, etc. against. Depending on how the grab was performed, I could smash multiple times, or follow up with punches (and possible kicks/knees, if practical) or both. If there are other items on the counter, and they can be used as improvised weaponry to inflict blunt and/or cut wounds, and/or for stabbing. Depending on their durability/mobility, I could even keep the weapon for later and/or throw it at another opponent. If it's the store shelf in an alley then I could grab them and cause them to fall over, either creating an obstacle to trip up the opponent, which can distract them and allow me to follow it up with another attack, and/or put myself in a more advantageous position, or for smashing the unfortunate soul caught underneath. I could also grab the table for some extra range and use it as an improvised weapon. If the situation is preferable, I could grab one store shelf and force someone against another one, causing pain under the uneven and odd surface, and either choke or punch/kick them until they are down. Calm down, T-800. That is about enough. I could probably go on, but I have a lets play to comment upon. That you do, thankfully. ...Why is she wearing a skirt on a horse again? Because Kaga. Okay? Is it just me, or is that axe thrown at an odd angle when compared to the previous image? They're always thrown at odd angles, aren't they. Looks like barely dodging hand axes is a common occurrence with magic users. Seems like it. Looks like Wally the Wyvern has become very twitchy to any and all attacks since being assigned to Sasha. Can you blame it? Well that happened quickly. Yeah... Especially when compared to Letzenheimer. Wonder if that was intentional. Probably so. Lentz is showing himself to be the largest bastard in the game. And he's only appeared in one chapter so far. Isn't that nice... ...Y'know, I can see why people are wondering why Dholm hasn't killed this guy yet. It is a mystery. One that we will correct in due time. Uh... so... rainbow power? I mean, rainbows are made out of rain, which is nigh impossible to dodge, but, uh, I was expecting that to have more punch. It does have an angelic choir accompanying it, which makes it a bit more impressive... Although with that symbol on the ground, it reminded me of this: Funny. Kaga must've done it first again. Unless this game came out first, I have no idea. Side-note: There as a single team, throughout the entire development cycle, dedicated entirely to the spell effects. Their efforts paid off. I can see that. At this point, does she really need one? Considering she's guarding her guard at this point... Yes, she does. I really like Kate. I'm not about to dismiss her. And it's even more blatant than the previous examples. The colors really don't help. The rock travels inbetween realms, disappearing to the mortal eye, and, I don't know, going to a rock concert? That was so delightfully dumb. I love it. And uses a flashbang for good measure. Good ol' Rossellini. At least he's accepted his circumstances, and isn't taking the cowards way out. More or less, yes. Guess the cornered rat strikes back. He probably doesn't want to die at least until Lentzie's too far away to see him fall. ...Is this were the slaver reappears? Even if he doesn't, stuff the sharp end of a weapon into this guys forehead. Hah, you're quick on the draw, eh? So... black market slavers... Hmmm... Interesting... I'm going to take a guess that this is where Leteena shows up again. Could be... On 20/4/2019 at 3:10 AM, Pengaius said: You mean I can actually fight and you'll be a feeble, senile old man dumb enough to fall for Codha's traps? I think I'm good. Also your height is meaningless due to you being really lanky, whereas I am 169cm of pure Grade A Chonk. What are you talking about? I'm not lanky at all, I'm rather wide in fact. Not fat, but big. Pure mooscle. asi? No, not "asi" at all. Doesn't even come close to it. Well hey you can promote Arkis now for that sweet, sweet bronze paladin indoor move. You want me to tell you where I'm going to get that sweet, sweet Bronze Paladin indoor move? Well, do you? Please, for me you still haven't given him the level yet, it's not like he wants you to use him or anything b-baka. He's lazy enough that he might not want me to use him, actually. On 21/4/2019 at 2:28 PM, Mad-manakete said: Reveal hidden contents Make way, for Bishop Lee. Say hey, to Bishop Lee. So, Time to stow All old tiers for this game. Hey, mate. Let's update. There's a new top tier name. Come, be the first on Serenes to realize. He can heal, can fight. Foes fall to his might. Potential unrecognized. Bishop Lee, CertainLee the best of all healers. Can use spells, Isn't he swell. Sure beats Katri. Now try your best to keep cool, As he makes foes look like a fool. He does his job so spectacularLee. Bishop Lee, AdequateLee, Set up with bases. His stats are fine. Utility is where he shines. Definitelee. He gives Plum a staff that gives more defense. Picking him just makes sense. You'd have to be quite dense. To leave Bishop Lee. He's got thunder, he's got wind, he's got fire. He's got staves of each category. If your units about to expire. Then there's a staff, Whose name brings a laugh, With which he can heal SafeLee. Bishop Lee. InfiniteLee Better than Enteh. He's what you seek, Comes with near peak, Availability. Even if he has no hair, He can attack using air, You'll find no better healer anywhere Than Bishop Lee. He's got all of the above mentioned traits, (his name leads to puns, let's see some puns) Yet Marlon lent him for free. (Marlon's generous, so generous) He sends your early game foes to their fates. He may be a beast, But he's still a priest. He doesn't care about glory. Don't you see, Bishop Lee, You're gonna be, A future Legend. Heard Codha peed his pants. Now that's just funny. And that oh readers is why, Guenchaos will curl up and die. Because when he planned he didn't account, For the fact a healer could do this amount, Of damage to his glorious plan, Because he simply didn't understand, The potential utility, Of A Man Called LEE. Felt bored. Decided to write a silly take on Prince Ali (Prince ALee? Thought about doing a "HercuLees" one to go with another image... but this was easier) to kill time while waiting for the next part. Not perfect, I couldn't get one part to flow very well. See if you can spot it.This is art. This is just... this is art. Goodness gracious, you insane madman... this is awesome. 21 hours ago, Hawkwing said: Ah, a two parter! For the record, I was rushed last time, so that's why I didn't comment as much on the update, as well as why there are so many spelling errors. I'm going to be blunt, I don't care about the errors. At all. I realize this could be read opposite of my intent. It should be "take a guess". Not too much different, but I wanted to clear that up. I mean, doesn't change the fact that I wasn't even serious about it. Fair point about the adrenaline thing. Didn't think about it that way. The bigger question though, is why Bowser was in the bathtub in the first place. Hey, a guy has to be clean, right? Not gonna lie, I played the original song while reading this. Not a perfect match-up, but a fun and enjoyable read regardless. It's great, yes. Admittedly, I posted that because DOOM ETERNAL is keeping it: Pffft. Especially as I'm realizing that Lentzenheimer just so happens to be introduced in the same chapter that these new slavers appear... Ahah... yeah... just keep reading. Or he does an Endokuken, which is one handed. Well, I mean, that's probably it. I just realized the pun here. I wish I could, myself. Seriously, how do I manage to make more puns unintentionally than not? Once again, it seems like this part of the game was planned for a sequel or expansion, but it didn't happen. Still cool to know the NPCs are doing things. Irony in it's surest form. Kreiss, please... don't do this. Glad to see that going out of your way for the event is about to pay off. Kinda, yes. Not so subtle foreshadowing, I suppose. Well, perhaps. ...Wait, so we'll have to, well, wait to see how this new plotline continues? Yes. Yes we will. I warned you in the route split update, though I suppose it was a bit of an awkward place to do it. I'll be playing one Runan chapter, then one Holmes chapter, and so on so forth. That way, we won't get too tired of Holmes's shenanigans, or miss Eugen for too long. ...I understand the pain of Berwick players who can't read Japanese now. FIFY. And no, you don't. My text with Barlowe: Spoiler Last time, we beat Dholm and, sadly, couldn't beat Lentzenheimer. Today, we contemplate our actions. ...... You seem distracted, Lord Runan. Is something on your mind? I was just thinking about Razelia.... True, Lentzenheimer is far more despicable. Even now, I'm sure he's the same cruel brat. Oh, you betcha, Eugen. I had to see him rather often when I went with Father on trips to the royal palace... just thinking about how twisted he was makes me sick to my stomach. I think he disliked you in particular, Lord Runan, because of your father. Even though Zemsellia is chief among the noble houses of Reeve, Lord Gramud was by far the most influential Duke, due to his heroism in the Ledan Crusade and his service to Reeve in general. No doubt Lentzenheimer was envious of your position as his son. Man, I can imagine what those hang-outs with Lentzie must've looked like... Quote Ahahahahahahah! Yes! Bleed, you overgrown rat! Bleed! Bleed for me! Wahahahahah! Lentzenheimer, please, stop this! What did that squirrel do to you...? Can't stand the sight of blood, can you?! You're just a wimp, Runan! Nothing but a gutless weakling! The only reason I'm honoring you with my presence is that your father is way more important than you deserve! I should be heir to Razelia... ...what did you just say to me, Lentzenheimer?! A-ah... I'd stand down if I were you, Lentzie. Runan can be scary when he's angry. You heathens... we'll see who has the last laugh...! ...! Lentzenheimer! What are you doing with that animal?! What did you do to it!?! Mother... Come with me this instant! You're in a world of trouble, young man! You can't just do something like this and expect to get away with it! But-- No buts! Now hurry along! Maybe I can still save the poor thing... ...sometimes I wish I could just cut your damned throat open... at least Father's easy to manipulate... What was that? Nothing, Mother... I'm sorry... ... ...Be that as it may, we cannot allow him to remain in power. Let us hasten onward to Razelia! Yes, Lord Runan! I shall ready the others for departure! All right, now it's time to see the enemies Runan will be facing next time we play as him. This is Simon, leader of the Condor Squad. They'll make my life miserable three updates from now. Zepp's less remarkable, but I like his portrait. It'll make for a cool Morgan. I'll prepare all forces to attack! I don't think that's wise, General. You should focus on defense and get the enemy to tire themselves out, and then you can leave them to my wyvern knights. Simon gets a couple more scenes and I like him and his design, so he gets a portrait. Zepp is boring, so he doesn't get a portrait. Are you trying to give me orders, whelp?! I'm more than a match for the Rebel Army! You're not stealing the glory from us! Now hold on just a damn minute. Prince Barker himself had us come all the way from Sophia to here to help defend this fort, and I'm not going to let him down! You need us, Zepp! Bah, what's five more troops going to do? Way too much. All you've got going for you are those overgrown lizards of yours. Oh, believe me, that's not all there is to them... That's a laugh! You're just a bunch of dirty scavengers. The only reason you're not dead is because you're sent to clean up what's left! Well, isn't this guy an asshole? Have it your way, Zepp. We'll see who's laughing in the end. Both armies appear on the map. We'll see them again in a few updates. And now... Holmes The game is merciful enough that no text occurs at the forbidden bridge. This is the last time the game will be merciful in this update and the next. Oh, hey. Thought you were supposed to leave. Katri...? What are you doing all by yourself? You should be back at the castle! ... You idiot! You're always doing these crazy things! I'm trying to keep you safe, dammit! I'll drag you back to Castle Salia by the ear if that's what it takes! Aaah! Of course, Holmes wastes no time before he starts being an idiot. Good thing we've got Shigen as the new Eugen. Tsk... All right, what do you need? Holmes, I want you to take this. The Ring of Salia...? Why are you giving me this? I don't want to leave you all... But Father and Mother are very weak, and I need to stay by their side until they get their strength back... Sure, I understand that. But that doesn't explain why you're giving me your bracelet. It's my most treasured possession... I've had it since I was a little girl... It even led me back to my parents! Wait, what? Since when? Zachariah noticed your birthmark, not your bracelet! ...come to think about it, though... it really would've made a lot more sense that he'd noticed your bracelet, rather than your birthmark that's not visible. Dammit, TRS! That's why I want you to have it. I want you to take this bracelet as my replacement on the team. Actually, Mel's going to be doing that just fine. Please carry it with you. I hate to admit it, but... I agree with you, Holmes, this is incredibly stupid. Please, Holmes! I'm worried about you! I had a terrible dream... That if I didn't give you my bracelet, we would never see each other again... But what if you're in danger, Katri? Without this bracelet, how will you be able to protect yourself? It's a sad day when Holmes is the one to call somebody out on how irresponsible they're being. Gee, you're right, how did I not think of that? If you're attacked by, oh I don't know, the sorcerer who can teleport and whose magic freezes people in place, for example, Holmes will just magically know, and shoot an arrow through the entire continent into his eye. Brilliant! I take it all back, you're fucking Alberta Einstein right here. Urk... Katri... Well, I'll take Katri back. If I stick around any longer, even I might start crying. Shigen's the best character in this route. Thank you for existing, my friend. I don't know how I'd survive, otherwise. So now Holmes has a completely useless item that's stuck to his inventory, and Katri has no means to defend herself when if Guenchaos teleports on top of her. Well, at any rate, I suppose without the ring he won't be able to force her to pull a stunt like Nolzeria with Mousa. There's a chapter in Blaad. This chapter's a big supportive moment, not a normal chapter. All of Blaad's citizens are celebrating the restoration of our beloved kingdom, and the return of our rightful king and queen, not to mention the lost Princess Maria! If you'd like, I will be hosting a small banquet in my residence this evening. It may not be worthy of one such as you, but still, you are all most welcome to come and enjoy yourselves. I suppose this doesn't happen if Lionheart's dead / with Runan, but Lionheart's really better off with Holmes, so chances are you'll see this. Well then, by all means! Here, I will show you the way... Normally, a rather funny scene plays here where Holmes makes drunk Julia cry by telling her she reeks of blood, everyone makes Garo unconfortable, Krishna tries to flirt with Holmes and Alicia's a dickhead like always. However, Julia and Alicia are with Runan and Krishna's dead, so instead... We cut to this random line from Samson, and all of sudden we're out in the yard with characters I'm not using. Xeno, are you... lonely? Huh? Without Katri here, I mean. ...... Why didn't you say anything, then? You just left her behind with her parents! I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Besides, Katri doesn't... I know she doesn't feel the same way I do... Juni...? Well, that was something. All the smiles and joy are so overwhelming. I felt like I didn't belong there. You get used to it. But I know exactly how you feel. Back when I was one of the Cult's warriors, I never dreamed my life would be like this. All I could think about was reviving the Zoan culture and serving our god... How did you come to join the Cult, Shigen? If you don't mind me asking... No, it's fine. I was raised on the Isle of Yr by Yoda the Runeblade, and I never knew about the suffering that pure-blooded Zoans endure. When I turned fifteen, I left the island on a whim to go find my real parents. Yoda told me I'd come from a long line of Zoan warriors, so I joined the Cult assuming that's where they would've been. In every kingdom, innocent people are rounded up and put to death just for being Zoans, whether they worship Gerxel or not. Even Canaan, a nation descended from Zoans, persecutes its own people who they deem "too pure-blooded." I decided then and there that I would fight to save our people from such cruelty. I still remember clearly the day you saved me. Warriors like you from the Cult were like gods to us in the camps... After watching my family be killed, I'd abandoned any hope I had of escaping. But still you came, and you saved me from being burned at the stake... After that, I became obsessed with the man who'd given me something to hold onto. I did ask you to come with me. But you kept yelling at me, calling me a traitor, and shutting me out. That's because what you were saying was completely unbelievable at the time! Especially to a brainwashed believer like me. But after you left, I kept thinking about what you'd said... That Guenchaos was just using us for his own schemes... I decided I would fight for the Zoan people, but I would do it my way, just like you. I'm glad you finally came around. I am, as well. I'm happy I can be at your side again. I've still got one question, though... What made you abandon the Cult? I learned about my father. Like me, he was one of the Cult's soldiers. Guenchaos doesn't give a damn about the Zoan nation, nor about anyone else. He uses people and throws them away. When I finally realized that and saw Guenchaos for the monster he was, and I escaped back to the Isle of Yr. (sic) Yoda had quite a few words for me, too... Sorry for not saying much there, but that was pretty awesome. I can only hope the rest of the update will be just as amazing. ...what Well... C'mon, we'll show everyone what a great dancer you are! I already told them you would! *Sigh*... All right, I'll do it. Don't tell me... Oh, no way...! ... ...yeah, I think I'll spare you watching the whole thing this time. Garo asking the real questions here. You still exist. Your portrait's still bugged, too. Yes, Sam, that's exactly what he just did. ...why, you despicable--! Actually, just one guy. Garo feels dirty just watching it, and I'm pretty sure Sam's considering breaking Maerchen and Holmes's skulls by knocking their heads together. You look puzzled, Lionheart. Something on your mind? Tell me, Holmes... Where is that girl from? Do you know who her parents are? Who, Plum? Runan said he met her in Taurus Village in Wellt, but that's all I know. From Wellt, you say? Hmm... Well, on the bright side, at least something good's going to come out of the whole thing: everyone's favourite Mamluke is starting to connect the dots. Aah! Lord Lionheart! F-Forgive me, I didn't notice you... That was a beautiful performance earlier. Your name is Plum, correct? Y-Yes, it is... And thank you, I've practiced a lot... While being kidnapped. Don't forget that. Might I ask who taught you that dance? It's very similar to one I've seen before. My mother taught it to me... The basic steps, anyway. I've been told she was a popular dancer from around here in Blaad. I see... Was her name Lan, by any chance? Yes, it was! She passed away a few years ago, but she left me this hand mirror to remember her by. I thought so... You're really her daughter... Huh? Ahahah... okay, that was adorable. We were married fifteen years ago. But a few months after we were wed, Viceroy Ahab rebelled, and I left to fight against him. Lan stayed with her parents here in Blaad because she was with child... But when I returned, I found the house burned to the ground, my in-laws murdered, and my wife taken from me. The entire city had been overwhelmed by marauding bandits. Lord Lionheart... Plum, please tell me... Why did Lan not return? If she was alive, why didn't she send word? Did she... feel that I abandoned her? No! I know she still loved you! Mother's love was eternal! She never thought ill of you, Father. ...so you're not going to answer his question? Oh, well then. I think the implication here (unless I'm forgetting something, which I may very well be) is that she didn't send word to Lionheart inmediately out of respect for Daros, and then she died before she had the opportunity. "Father..." Do you truly see me as your father, Plum? Y-Yes...! Of course I do! Plum, could I... hold you for a moment? Father... That was so heartwarming... and in this instance, Holmes DID have something to do with it, since he saved Plum from the fatass! Now, who wants to bet that this time, nobody's going to thank Holmes for anything? Thought not. Hwahahahahahah... he really is working hard to compensate for all those chapters where he wasn't plot relevant, isn't he? Oh, right... Thanks for everything, old guy! I really mean it! "Old guy"... oh, please. Holmes, you're just the worst. It was my pleasure. It was an honor to have you join us. Please visit again whenever you please. I might just take you up on that. See you! All right, with that done, let's go into the city. We've things to do here. First of all, Sierra needs to get drinking. Don't mind the funny colors, Sierra, these'll do you good. Garo joins in on the fun as well, with his secret potion. Here we go. Sierra's stats are a lot nicer to look at now. She can use earthquake, too, it's just that it works like Aura Rain, only usable every fifth turn. Lionheart quickly sells a herb to reach the 1k quota required to play with Bagman. Raquel will be doing that, she's the luckiest member of Holmes's team right now. Always, Bagman. Tails, let's go. Awesome! Thanks very much, Bagman. All right, that should be enough. Good to see you, Bagman! 'Til next time! Next stop, Footballman. Here you go, Footballman. Ensure my units' continued survival. Okay. And we're off! First off, Shigen retrieves his gear from the convoy, and Mel takes some more stuff. And we begin moving south. Something's going on at Ocus village. What is this, a stage? What do they do here, I wonder...? Oh, no... HIM! Wah! Who in the... Oh, I'm just an ordinary citizen. This here is my little theatre. A theatre... Would you like somethig to drink? I've got some milk here, if you'd like. Who the hell goes around carrying milk in his pockets!? Juni, please, you can't be stupid enough to... ...oh. Yeah, sure! I don't see a problem with this. Really!? Yeah, I'm really thirsty! Thank you, sir! Don't worry about it, little lady. Have as much as you want! ... TO BE CONTINUED Death count: Attrom Juliattisnacordst Sharon Krishna Indiana Jones Reset count: 2 (Runan: 1 - Katri: 1) Dullahan's done with my incompetence: 6 What's that? I lied, I'm more of an asshole than the game after all? Yeah, I know. Hwahahahahah! Tune in next time to see what happens to Juni. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go fetch me some nuclear shelterinis. Cheers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punished Dayni Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 (edited) 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I only ever played like a couple hours of FFVI, so... At least it's one of the better ones. I think it's gone down in people's eyes lately though, used to be this one got called "best in the series" by plenty of people. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I just looked him up, since you keep mentioning him... Kaga did it first? 'Cause I swear that's fucking blonde Lentzenheimer right there. Actually, no. Joffrey existed before TearRing, therefore Kaga didn't do it first. HA! The show just made the series widely popular. And no, I didn't read the books before the show came out. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...what did you just say to me, Lentzenheimer?! A-ah... I'd stand down if I were you, Lentzie. Runan can be scary when he's angry. Scary? It's more murdery than scary Holmes. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...! Lentzenheimer! What are you doing with that animal?! What did you do to it!?! You know, I think I'm fine not knowing. Also where did this portrait come from? This is honestly some of the best work in this game if it's in the file. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I don't think that's wise, General. You should focus on defense and get the enemy to tire themselves out, and then you can leave them to my wyvern knights. Simon gets a couple more scenes and I like him and his design, so he gets a portrait. Zepp is boring, so he doesn't get a portrait. You mean Zepp's design is something you could have more fun with, I'd say Simon's is actually pretty boring. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Now hold on just a damn minute. Prince Barker himself had us come all the way from Sophia to here to help defend this fort, and I'm not going to let him down! You need us, Zepp! Bah, what's five more troops going to do? Strength of at least 50 men? I mean, if that's what we're building up to, it's a pretty easy guess. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Too late Shigen, Holmes does something stupid every 7 seconds or something like that. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: The Ring of Salia...? Why are you giving me this? I don't want to leave you all... But Father and Mother are very weak, and I need to stay by their side until they get their strength back... Once again, these rings should be just destroyed. It's clearly for the worse to have them around at all. Also, Holmes could be gutted and have the ring stolen at any time Katri. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Wait, what? Since when? Zachariah noticed your birthmark, not your bracelet! ...come to think about it, though... it really would've made a lot more sense that he'd noticed your bracelet, rather than your birthmark that's not visible. Dammit, TRS! He has a horrible curse where he can't see clothing? It'd explain both and why he tries to avoid talking with most everyone, hence the lack of appearances in the story. Also Dammit Kaga. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I hate to admit it, but... I agree with you, Holmes, this is incredibly stupid. Please, Holmes! I'm worried about you! I had a terrible dream... That if I didn't give you my bracelet, we would never see each other again... Katri, you have your out! Run away with it now! 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Gee, you're right, how did I not think of that? If you're attacked by, oh I don't know, the sorcerer who can teleport and whose magic freezes people in place, for example, Holmes will just magically know, and shoot an arrow through the entire continent into his eye. Brilliant! I take it all back, you're fucking Alberta Einstein right here. Urk... I mean, for all we know that's exactly how Guenchaos goes down. I mean, Guenchaos getting her and the ring at the same time is pretty much the instant destruction of an entire town, so maybe this isn't the worst idea. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Well, I'll take Katri back. If I stick around any longer, even I might start crying. Shigen's the best character in this route. Thank you for existing, my friend. I don't know how I'd survive, otherwise. From this being simultaneously too sappy and stupid at the same time. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Normally, a rather funny scene plays here where Holmes makes drunk Julia cry by telling her she reeks of blood, everyone makes Garo unconfortable, Krishna tries to flirt with Holmes and Alicia's a dickhead like always. However, Julia and Alicia are with Runan and Krishna's dead, so instead... Thankfully we don't get that. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: We cut to this random line from Samson, and all of sudden we're out in the yard with characters I'm not using. SAMSON'S MIGHTY STRENGTH. It'll have some use in this playthrough even with him benched. :P 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Besides, Katri doesn't... I know she doesn't feel the same way I do... I mean, Juni's what, 10? Man, Juni's a sick fuck. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: How did you come to join the Cult, Shigen? If you don't mind me asking... No, it's fine. I was raised on the Isle of Yr by Yoda the Runeblade, and I never knew about the suffering that pure-blooded Zoans endure. When I turned fifteen, I left the island on a whim to go find my real parents. Yoda told me I'd come from a long line of Zoan warriors, so I joined the Cult assuming that's where they would've been. I mean, I've heard worse ways to try to find your parents. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: In every kingdom, innocent people are rounded up and put to death just for being Zoans, whether they worship Gerxel or not. Even Canaan, a nation descended from Zoans, persecutes its own people who they deem "too pure-blooded." I decided then and there that I would fight to save our people from such cruelty. I still remember clearly the day you saved me. Warriors like you from the Cult were like gods to us in the camps... After watching my family be killed, I'd abandoned any hope I had of escaping. But still you came, and you saved me from being burned at the stake... After that, I became obsessed with the man who'd given me something to hold onto. Considering his bases compared to her, no wonder she'd say that. :P 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: That Guenchaos was just using us for his own schemes... I decided I would fight for the Zoan people, but I would do it my way, just like you. So wait, what was she doing before she saved Shigen? Actually curious. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I'm glad you finally came around. Also that you saved me from death but I don't think I need to say that do I? 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: What, would Ruben throw up first? 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: That's kind of why she's drinking though. I've made myself sad now. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Turns out Eisenbach was the Drinking Sage: IT'S TIME TO GET CRUNK! (Also, what are they drinking, poitín? has to be at least as strong right?) 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I see Peeping Wrys has gotten some time out and about that evening. Or was it Twrysvelyan? 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...what .....What. Really? Again? 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Garo asking the real questions here. No. Why are you watching this is the question that needs answering. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...why, you despicable--! 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Actually, just one guy. Garo feels dirty just watching it, and I'm pretty sure Sam's considering breaking Maerchen and Holmes's skulls by knocking their heads together. And if you used him maybe he could have. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: While being kidnapped. Don't forget that. Might I ask who taught you that dance? It's very similar to one I've seen before. I mean, if it weren't for him asking about what he was I think this'd be fucking horrifying and that Lionheart was another creepy man in a hat taking children. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Ahahah... okay, that was adorable. That's a reaction image if I've seen one. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: No! I know she still loved you! Mother's love was eternal! She never thought ill of you, Father. ...so you're not going to answer his question? Oh, well then. I think the implication here (unless I'm forgetting something, which I may very well be) is that she didn't send word to Lionheart inmediately out of respect for Daros, and then she died before she had the opportunity. I mean, she could have sent a letter to say what was going on, couldn't she? 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: That was so heartwarming... and in this instance, Holmes DID have something to do with it, since he saved Plum from the fatass! Now, who wants to bet that this time, nobody's going to thank Holmes for anything? Because why would he be thanked for good things, this is Holmes we're on about. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: First of all, Sierra needs to get drinking. Don't mind the funny colors, Sierra, these'll do you good. You know I was going to react to an earlier part with a certain clip? Well then this happened. Here you go. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Oh, I'm just an ordinary citizen. This here is my little theatre. KATRI? ALBERTUS? SOMEONE GET HERE TO BURN HIS FACE. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: What's that? I lied, I'm more of an asshole than the game after all? Yeah, I know. Hwahahahahah! Tune in next time to see what happens to Juni. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go fetch me some nuclear shelterinis. Cheers! I hope there's a nuclear bomb for this shelter you're looking for, otherwise it'd be a waste. Edited April 22, 2019 by Dayni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Roger The Paladin Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: It frankly shocks me how images of real bodies are the first thing to come up when you google Hinterkaifeck. Normally google isn't so quick to let those slip through... Yeah. The whole incident is frankly one of the most disturbing things I've read. No matter what theory you consider, every single one is messed up beyond belief. 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: They strapped living Toads to trees to become batteries. Fair point. 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: If you ever see him again, you need to show him my memes. Unfortunately, as Steve passed away last year, the chances of that depend on one's beliefs. 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: How did we get here? Explaining the natural concept of mimicry, where a lesser creature imitates a greater one. Thus explaining why generics imitate Lionel's palette. 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Hmmm Warrior, Black Mage, White Mage, and Monk... Gonna guess the Warrior's Lot, the Black Mage's either Raigh or Etzel, White Mage's Maruj, and Monk's... ...why the heck is the FF monk Masaru from Live-a-Live? Eh, whatever. ...ooohhhhh one of the default names for the monk class is Marcus! I see where this is going... Also, Arvis. Funny coincidences all around. 2 out of 4. Lot and Etzel. The white mage was Yumina. The monk, due to being a bit of a glass canon was named Lionel (because of the defence he keeps missing). Then you posted the update where Eugen punched out Holmes and I regretted not having seen that first. 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: To be fair, she appeared in a grand total of one cutscene and I couldn't even recruit her. Not to mention you used best NPC instead of her portrait. On 4/22/2019 at 1:09 AM, Hawkwing said: Not gonna lie, I played the original song while reading this. Not a perfect match-up, but a fun and enjoyable read regardless. I'll take a guess that the "As he makes foes look like a fool" line is the one you're talking about? 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: This is art. This is just... this is art. Goodness gracious, you insane madman... this is awesome. Glad it's appreciated (even if I had trouble in parts). But the line I was actually thinking fit the flow worst was "he sends your early game foes to their fates"... though then again, if sung correctly you can get a lot of Lee-way in a tune. Especially that one. Sad thing is I already have a glimmer of a sequel with someone else. 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ... Well forget the sequel I planned I feel a song coming on right now. Spoiler Beata Razelia, you know Lentzenheimer is a wicked man. Of his sinful lifestyle he is unjustly proud. Beata Razelia. You know he is more vulgar than, anyone should ever have allowed. So tell me Razelia, Why you have not rebelled, Why to this vermin you still bend the knee? This man killed his own mother, His soul is surely bound for hell. Why have you not ended his tyranny? Elfire. Elfire. This tome within my hand. With it, I desire. To purge this blight upon the land. It is not fair. He is a fool. This heinous man does not deserve to rule. It is not fair. This is revolting. To call him a leader is insulting. Beata Razelia, Sharpen swords and ready your shields, Don't let this wretch control your fate. Join with Runan, and fight until this dastard yields. Give a voice unto your repressed hate. Elfire, Elfire, Now black-heart it's your turn. From this fight, retire, Surrender now or you will burn. Goddess have mercy on me. But I'll have no mercy on thee. Surrender now or you will burn. Damn I can't wait to get out the one I actually have planned for a certain other unit. 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...what did you just say to me, Lentzenheimer?! A-ah... I can't be the only one imagining Runan doing the navy seals copypasta from this can I? 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I hate to admit it, but... I agree with you, Holmes, this is incredibly stupid. To be fair, the bracelet can't die by accident and cause you to restart a chapter. So even if it doesn't have the healing capabilities of Katri, it's also less of a liability. That said, I can't see it contributing anything so it's still deadweight. 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: But still you came, and you saved me from being burned at the stake... After that, I became obsessed with the man who'd given me something to hold onto. Did Pavlov propose to her or something? 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Pretty sure that's what a lot of players thought. 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Samson, you sound ready to sharpen your axe on the rocks in his head. 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Maerchen demonstrates that sometimes castration isn't enough of a deterrent. 3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: And so we have Lentzenheimmer (albeit only in an imaginary flashback), Maerchen and Slaver all about at one time. The sleaze alone requires two updates. 2 hours ago, Dayni said: And if you used him maybe he could have. Probably still could. You've seen Maerchen's stats, and Holmes is bow locked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrightBow Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 (edited) Oh yeah, the Power Staff does only raise strength, my bad. I thought it raised attack power. Well, here is that guy again. It's probably worth noting that having Yuni say "No" would lead to the Lyria version of this scene. So if Lyria were around, it would be "little girl abduction fun" either way. On the bright side, this is the last time we are going to see this guy. Or at least it's the last scene that I am aware of. The game has so many hidden events, it's hard to make such a claim with certainty. Edited April 22, 2019 by BrightBow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: So, uh. There's a huuuuuuuuge lore dump right around the corner. Biggest plot dump in the entire game, in fact. Just so you get an idea of how big this is going to be, the folder containing all the screenshots of text up to the next chapter has 390 screenshots. That's before adding my stuff (I tried to keep it short, don't worry). Doesn't sound like a lot, compared to my gameplay updates, does it? Well, the average text update has around 150~. This beats even Rishel's bible - with all my side story stuff included - by a few dozen shots. However, since I'm not an asshole like the game, I've decided to divide the update in two. What this means is that this update and the next will both be a text update. Sorry if you're not too fond of these, but it's the best solution I can think of. The update would take me seven weeks if I didn't do this. Wouldn't recommend skipping anything, it's interesting stuff, but I understand some might find it too heavy, and it's not too important for the actual plot, just worldbuilding. Thanks for the warning. Glad to hear that the content is interesting. I hope that it doesn't take 2 or 3 hours to write it this time around. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: It frankly shocks me how images of real bodies are the first thing to come up when you google Hinterkaifeck. Normally google isn't so quick to let those slip through... I took the schmuck bait. Not as disturbed as I thought I would be, but I suppose that answers my question of what a dead body looks like in real life. I really need to stop tempting fate. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Then there's my first character from Dark Souls. If there was ever an exception to the rule, it's him. He's a Mage that can't use magic because I am terrible, so he just uses his sword to kill things badly. I also dropped him two hours in and made an actually reasonable character. Cleric, this time. Having a blast with the game thus far. I see that Dark Souls took the Oblivion route toward face creation. I really want to try Dark Souls sometime. It's a game I could see myself really either loving or really hating, and I'm curious which side I'd fall into. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: That's so hilariously dumb. Hilariously awesome, you mean. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Hey, that's exactly me! I was scared to death of blood when I was a child, but nowadays I barely give much of a damn. Heads getting cut off don't make me cringe at all, but then there's things like the infamous Spongebob toe nail scene. Hot damn, I still remember how much I suffered the first time I saw that... modern Spongebob is horrible. Please don't look it up, you'll be happier that way. Ah, yes. Modern Spongebob. Sad to see a show I enjoyed but couldn't watch much as a kid go down the drain like that for years. Ya do got to wonder how strong of stomachs animators have, considering the kind of things they have to draw and animate, step-by-step. I wouldn't be surprised if, after a few years in the industry, nothing phases them anymore. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Ah, finally given up, have you? Never! For "Never Give Up" is my personal motto! 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Ah, I'd find a plothole just to spite you. And then you'll discover that said "plothole" is not a plothole at all, but actually has multiple meanings, is covered earlier/later in the Bible, and will have some historical evidence to back it up if you seriously go look for it. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: In paint.net? There's a T among the tools in the tool window. That's what you use to add text. I know how to add text (I made a few comics using it), it's alt text (where you hover over the picture to have another message pop up) that I'm curious on how to add. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: > Horror game. > Fishing minigame. What? The fishing minigame became a thing in Blustone, while White Island, the horror game, has been the companies other product for years. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: When'd the closet ever be the obvious choice? You've nowhere to go, and if there's only a closet in the entire room, they're obviously going to search it! I'd much rather run while I still have a head start. Maybe wait for them around the corner and clock them over the head. I mean, if you run down the hallway, you'll get shot. If you hide in a room full of corpses, you may have put yourself right next to the zombies... or get shot by someone wanting to be extra sure. The closet at least can be inconspicuous. Granted, you get caught eventually anyway, but I don't know what happened next, because I decided to play Season 1 first since the game begins with Season 2, for some reason. Seasons in videogames always confused me. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: But what about the droid attack on the wookies? Good relations with the Wookies, Yoda has. Plus they rip off the arms of anyone that ticks them off. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Friendly piece of advice, don't ever enter DeviantArt. You'll find people being inside someone's body is but the tip of the iceberg. Yeah, I've heard of its reputation. Heck, I've only visited the site when a trusted friend or SFW youtuber linked there, and even then I was cautions about what I was getting into. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: What good is being a giant if you've been Maerchen'd? You can turn the people the kicked you there into a fine red paste, and maybe even become a one-man army. Besides, it doesn't hurt too much getting kicked there. I walked it off every time it happened, without so much as an "ow". 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: What, you're just gonna rip out a pad and smother the enemy with it? ...don't answer that. Huh, didn't think about that. Nah, I was thinking about smashing them against the wall and unloading on them while their mobility is limited. Although now I have the idea to smash their face against the wall until they run out of air... 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: It is. The whole game's basically "Marth talks to Malledus and Nyna", but unlike "Roy talks to Merlinus and Delphin", it's actually really entertaining because it's gloriously written. Not to mention, while most characters don't get that many lines, what's there is usually damn good. I still regard Horace's chapter as one of the highest points in the game, and the fact that the main character's love interest is Archanea's biggest slut never ceases to amaze me. Storywise, I personally prefer FE11 to FE12, even if it does lack Arran's amazing story from 12. Frankly, the only thing I truly hate about it is how wasted Hardin was. He deserved more importance, given his role in FE12. And then there's the prologue. Say what you will about Shadow Dragon, but there isn't a single game in the series that's done as much of a good job at conveying just how terrible the war has been on the protagonist as Shadow Dragon with its prologue. Normally the invasion's just mentioned in the opening text, and then you cut right to the chase. In SD, you get to watch as child Marth loses literally everything, barely escapes with his life fighting his way through with a handful of knights - while being forced to leave his sister and mother behind - , and doesn't even make it out with his whole team alive. There's a reason I like Frey so much, and what you see in FE12 is not it. It's just all sorts of good, if you approach it with a different mindset than the rest of the series. There's a lot more focus on the main character than in other games, and the rest of the cast gets, by comparison, a lot less. You need to make peace with these facts before you start. This alone makes me more interested in buying Shadow Dragon than trying to get the original Mystery working again. Just goes to show that sometimes it's not the quality of the story, but the quality of the telling that makes things great. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Funny. Kaga must've done it first again. Unless this game came out first, I have no idea. Planescape: Torment came out in 1999, so Black Isle Studios (now know as Obsidian) did it first. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Hah, you're quick on the draw, eh? He was quick to show his true colors. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Ahah... yeah... just keep reading. This does not inspire reassurance. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I wish I could, myself. Seriously, how do I manage to make more puns unintentionally than not? Rishel will use the Sunflame to Tank. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...Wait, so we'll have to, well, wait to see how this new plotline continues? Yes. Yes we will. I warned you in the route split update, though I suppose it was a bit of an awkward place to do it. I'll be playing one Runan chapter, then one Holmes chapter, and so on so forth. That way, we won't get too tired of Holmes's shenanigans, or miss Eugen for too long. I see. I got understood when you mentioned the route split, but I was not expecting a to be continued format, to say the least. Not that I'm complaining, as I'm actually curious on where this will lead. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...I understand the pain of Berwick players who can't read Japanese now. FIFY. And no, you don't. That was a clever change, I will give you that. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Ahahahahahahah! Yes! Bleed, you overgrown rat! Bleed! Bleed for me! Wahahahahah! Lentzenheimer, please, stop this! What did that squirrel do to you...? This reminds me of Enders Game, where one of the characters skinned squirrels for fun. I never actually read the book from beginning to end, but I did skim it when a friend brought it to lunch in... fifth grade? Middle School? 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I'd stand down if I were you, Lentzie. Runan can be scary when he's angry. Glad to see Holmes do something that's not stupid. Again. Even if it's fictional. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...! Lentzenheimer! What are you doing with that animal?! What did you do to it!?! This is both hilarious and a little creepy considering what happens later/earler. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: This is Simon, leader of the Condor Squad. They'll make my life miserable three updates from now The Condor Squad is an awesome name. And your misery just goes to show that they're powerful. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I don't think that's wise, General. You should focus on defense and get the enemy to tire themselves out, and then you can leave them to my wyvern knights. Wyvern riders, eh? Considering how Sasha is holding up, I can see how they can be a pain. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Bah, what's five more troops going to do? Way too much. Never underestimate numbers in these kind of games. One-man armies are (almost) always on the heroes side. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: That's a laugh! You're just a bunch of dirty scavengers. The only reason you're not dead is because you're sent to clean up what's left! ...You do realize that that might be because of tactics, Zepp? 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Well, isn't this guy an asshole? And he made a bad pun, too. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Oh, hey. Thought you were supposed to leave. Katri...? What are you doing all by yourself? You should be back at the castle! Don't tell me she's joining again? Guess they didn't want her experience to go to waste, as little as it was. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Good thing we've got Shigen as the new Eugen. This will make up for the weeks of dealing with Holmes stupidity. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I don't want to leave you all... But Father and Mother are very weak, and I need to stay by their side until they get their strength back... Ah, so she is staying home. Disregard what I said earlier. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Wait, what? Since when? Zachariah noticed your birthmark, not your bracelet! ...come to think about it, though... it really would've made a lot more sense that he'd noticed your bracelet, rather than your birthmark that's not visible. Dammit, TRS! Something tells me Zachariah's section was either rewritten or something they accidentally glossed over when reviewing the script. Having said that, it raises questions of why the slaver and Maerchen were kept in. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: It's a sad day when Holmes is the one to call somebody out on how irresponsible they're being. You could probably have a counter for every time said "calling out" has to deal with Katri, though. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Gee, you're right, how did I not think of that? If you're attacked by, oh I don't know, the sorcerer who can teleport and whose magic freezes people in place, for example, Holmes will just magically know, and shoot an arrow through the entire continent into his eye. Brilliant! I take it all back, you're fucking Alberta Einstein right here. Urk... Being fair, they haven't seen Chaos man do that. On the other hand, they did see him talk to a dragon, which Katria actually fought in this LP, so this is still stupid. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Shigen's the best character in this route. Thank you for existing, my friend. I don't know how I'd survive, otherwise. I'm glad he and Xeno turned out not to be a-holes ever since Holmes route began. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: So now Holmes has a completely useless item that's stuck to his inventory, and Katri has no means to defend herself when if Guenchaos teleports on top of her. Well, at any rate, I suppose without the ring he won't be able to force her to pull a stunt like Nolzeria with Mousa. Seems like a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kind of situation. Without the bracelet, she's easy pickings. With it, then all they really have to do is wait until her dragon form transforms back, and kidnap her. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: There's a chapter in Blaad. This chapter's a big supportive moment, not a normal chapter Like the one after Codha was defeated? In that case, it's nice to see one of these again. It was long yet entertaining update to read. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Normally, a rather funny scene plays here where Holmes makes drunk Julia cry by telling her she reeks of blood, everyone makes Garo unconfortable, Krishna tries to flirt with Holmes and Alicia's a dickhead like always. However, Julia and Alicia are with Runan and Krishna's dead, so instead... Can't say whether it's a good or a bad thing we missed this. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Well, that was something. Took the words out of my mouth. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: You get used to it. But I know exactly how you feel. Back when I was one of the Cult's warriors, I never dreamed my life would be like this. All I could think about was reviving the Zoan culture and serving our god... Wait, Shigen used to be a cult warrior?! ...I can see why he left. And I swear, if he mentioned that specific fact before this... 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Sorry for not saying much there, but that was pretty awesome. I can only hope the rest of the update will be just as amazing. That was awesome. There's not much to comment on there because it speaks for itself. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: For some reason, I find reading the rest of her dialogue without knowing for sure how much of it is due to being drunk to be hilarious. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...what ...I don't know if Holmes being drunk right now would make this scene better, or worse. I'll go the safe route and say both. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ... 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...yeah, I think I'll spare you watching the whole thing this time. Thank you 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Garo asking the real questions here. Garo saying what the audience is thinking right now. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Yes, Sam, that's exactly what he just did. Please tell me Sam pulls a Eugen and decks the idiot in the face. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...why, you despicable--! Stab him in the groin again. With an battleaxe. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Actually, just one guy. Garo feels dirty just watching it, and I'm pretty sure Sam's considering breaking Maerchen and Holmes's skulls by knocking their heads together. This is why it's unwise to jump to conclusions about these kind of things. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Ahahah... okay, that was adorable. I have mixed feelings on how the disturbing scene beforehand leads into this. On the bright side, the disgusted reactions and more backstory already lessened the blow of that. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...so you're not going to answer his question? Oh, well then. I think the implication here (unless I'm forgetting something, which I may very well be) is that she didn't send word to Lionheart inmediately out of respect for Daros, and then she died before she had the opportunity. That's... actually pretty tragic. To die before letting someone else that's important to you know what happened. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: That was so heartwarming... and in this instance, Holmes DID have something to do with it, since he saved Plum from the fatass! Now, who wants to bet that this time, nobody's going to thank Holmes for anything? I really don't know how Lioheart is supposed to respond to Holmes. On the one hand, he was vital in revealing his long lost daughter. On the other hand, it was by asking her to dance in an outfit that doesn't leave much to the imagination. I'm going with punching him in the face and thanking him afterwards. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Hwahahahahahah... he really is working hard to compensate for all those chapters where he wasn't plot relevant, isn't he? Guess Kaga realized that he had to make up for that bad day writing the first part of Holmes. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Okay. Prot is just a variant of proto-, so there's not much to talk about here, I'm afraid. 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: HIM! KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!!! 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Oh, I'm just an ordinary citizen. This here is my little theatre. A theatre... Oh no... 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Would you like somethig to drink? I've got some milk here, if you'd like. ...Slit his throat so he can choke on his blood... 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: 1 hour ago, BrightBow said: Well, here is that guy again. It's probably worth noting that having Yuni say "No" would lead to the Lyria version of this scene. So if Lyria were around, it would be "little girl abduction fun" either way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pengaius Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Yeah, sure! I don't see a problem with this. Ruben, you fiend you should be punished for this conduct. I believe you should be forced to use Arkis you bad man. Sorry for the short post but my page crashed and I lost most of the post so I cannot even right now, good day sir! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 If you ever want to rip your hair out, do a LP of any of the FFT games (there's three). Parrhesia already did WotL, but if you want to throw your own two bits in there, feel free to do so~! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Rubenio Posted April 27, 2019 Author Share Posted April 27, 2019 Part 47 - Twenty thousand words over the sea - part 2. Words: Spoiler On 22/4/2019 at 3:44 PM, Dayni said: At least it's one of the better ones. I think it's gone down in people's eyes lately though, used to be this one got called "best in the series" by plenty of people. I recall it being FF7 so many years ago. Ah, to go back to the good ol' days. They weren't good for me, mind, but I liked youtube's format better. Actually, no. Joffrey existed before TearRing, therefore Kaga didn't do it first. HA! Damn! The show just made the series widely popular. And no, I didn't read the books before the show came out. Yeah, I was aware, I just couldn't be arsed to look up when they were made. Scary? It's more murdery than scary Holmes. And murdery is scary, see? You know, I think I'm fine not knowing. Also where did this portrait come from? This is honestly some of the best work in this game if it's in the file. It's among the many unused portraits included in the folder Aethin generously posted a few updates ago. Same as the blonde guy from the slaver sequence a couple updates back. I would recommend that you take a look at that collection, some of the portraits are so good, it's a wonder why they weren't included instead of some crap like Footballman. As for the sprite itself, I have no idea what its original purpose might've been, but she had that Ismaire look of despair going for her and ever-so-slightly resembled Lentzenheimer, so I decided to use her as his mom in the flashback. You mean Zepp's design is something you could have more fun with, I'd say Simon's is actually pretty boring. Boring, perhaps, but solid. Zepp's very obviously a generic bad guy. Strength of at least 50 men? I mean, if that's what we're building up to, it's a pretty easy guess. More or less, yes. You'll see. Too late Shigen, Holmes does something stupid every 7 seconds or something like that. Shigen doesn't want to give up. He believes he can make something out of Holmes. Once again, these rings should be just destroyed. It's clearly for the worse to have them around at all. Also, Holmes could be gutted and have the ring stolen at any time Katri. To be entirely fair, Guenchaos doesn't know Holmes has the ring. He probably doesn't even know of Holmes's existance. He has a horrible curse where he can't see clothing? It'd explain both and why he tries to avoid talking with most everyone, hence the lack of appearances in the story. Pretty sure this was suggested already. It does make some sense. Also Dammit Kaga. Indeed. Katri, you have your out! Run away with it now! She's too stupid. I mean, for all we know that's exactly how Guenchaos goes down. It'd certainly justify Holmes's existance. I mean, Guenchaos getting her and the ring at the same time is pretty much the instant destruction of an entire town, so maybe this isn't the worst idea. It's pretty dumb, but not the worst thing she could've done, to be sure. From this being simultaneously too sappy and stupid at the same time. That's basically it yes. Thankfully we don't get that. Bah, no fun allowed. I enjoy that scene, it's dumb as hell, but hey. SAMSON'S MIGHTY STRENGTH. It'll have some use in this playthrough even with him benched. :P I do like Samson, it's just, I already had Juliattisnacordst and Garo. Then tragedy struck. I mean, Juni's what, 10? 14, I'm pretty sure. Man, Juni's a sick fuck. Kinda, yes, but not as much as Kaga. I mean, I've heard worse ways to try to find your parents. I guess so. Considering his bases compared to her, no wonder she'd say that. :P She has warp. That alone makes her better than Shigen. So wait, what was she doing before she saved Shigen? Actually curious. Considering what happens in her late recruitment, probably running around trying to avoid the wrath of the Cult. Also that you saved me from death but I don't think I need to say that do I? Gentleman Shig. What, would Ruben throw up first? Nah, I don't drink. That's kind of why she's drinking though. I've made myself sad now. C'mon this was supposed to be half lighthearted. Turns out Eisenbach was the Drinking Sage: IT'S TIME TO GET CRUNK! I mean, he did let her go ride The Roger after she had made a vow of chastity. Is he the coolest grandpa or what? (Also, what are they drinking, poitín? has to be at least as strong right?) I don't know much about drinks, so... probably? Also, she looks rather small, probably can't take much. I see Peeping Wrys has gotten some time out and about that evening. It's a reference to his FE12 epilogue line, actually. Or was it Twrysvelyan? Pfffft... oh my God I still remember that. That was genius. .....What. Really? Again? Yes. No. Why are you watching this is the question that needs answering. Garo's probably just confused. Yes. And if you used him maybe he could have. Like Mad-Manakete said, Maerchen sucks and Holmes is bowlocked, so... yeah. Still can. I mean, if it weren't for him asking about what he was I think this'd be fucking horrifying and that Lionheart was another creepy man in a hat taking children. It's a really awkward situation. My headcanon is that he was about to reprimand Holmes, but then he recognized the dance. That's a reaction image if I've seen one. Pfft... I mean, she could have sent a letter to say what was going on, couldn't she? You sure wasted no time using this, eh. Because why would he be thanked for good things, this is Holmes we're on about. Ah, that's true. You know I was going to react to an earlier part with a certain clip? Well then this happened. Here you go. Goodness gracious... KATRI? ALBERTUS? SOMEONE GET HERE TO BURN HIS FACE. Patience... I hope there's a nuclear bomb for this shelter you're looking for, otherwise it'd be a waste. To be honest, I expected more anger over the cliffhanger. People took it surprisingly well, tho! On 22/4/2019 at 6:17 PM, Mad-manakete said: Yeah. The whole incident is frankly one of the most disturbing things I've read. No matter what theory you consider, every single one is messed up beyond belief. That's what I gathered, yes. Fair point. Right? Unfortunately, as Steve passed away last year, the chances of that depend on one's beliefs. Oh. Awkward. Explaining the natural concept of mimicry, where a lesser creature imitates a greater one. Thus explaining why generics imitate Lionel's palette. It was a rethorical question. 2 out of 4. Lot and Etzel. The white mage was Yumina. Ah, Yumina. What a great mage she was. Probably the biggest surprise of the LP, alongside Matthis becoming god. And then they both died because I'm terrible. Three hurrahs to resets. The monk, due to being a bit of a glass canon was named Lionel (because of the defence he keeps missing). Then you posted the update where Eugen punched out Holmes and I regretted not having seen that first. Eugen would definitely have been a better option. Not to mention you used best NPC instead of her portrait. Ah, right. Glad it's appreciated (even if I had trouble in parts). But the line I was actually thinking fit the flow worst was "he sends your early game foes to their fates"... though then again, if sung correctly you can get a lot of Lee-way in a tune. Especially that one. Sad thing is I already have a glimmer of a sequel with someone else. I didn't even know the original song to begin with, so... ... Well forget the sequel I planned I feel a song coming on right now. Reveal hidden contents Beata Razelia, you know Lentzenheimer is a wicked man. Of his sinful lifestyle he is unjustly proud. Beata Razelia. You know he is more vulgar than, anyone should ever have allowed. So tell me Razelia, Why you have not rebelled, Why to this vermin you still bend the knee? This man killed his own mother, His soul is surely bound for hell. Why have you not ended his tyranny? Elfire. Elfire. This tome within my hand. With it, I desire. To purge this blight upon the land. It is not fair. He is a fool. This heinous man does not deserve to rule. It is not fair. This is revolting. To call him a leader is insulting. Beata Razelia, Sharpen swords and ready your shields, Don't let this wretch control your fate. Join with Runan, and fight until this dastard yields. Give a voice unto your repressed hate. Elfire, Elfire, Now black-heart it's your turn. From this fight, retire, Surrender now or you will burn. Goddess have mercy on me. But I'll have no mercy on thee. Surrender now or you will burn. This one, though... I love how the tone did a complete 180 compared to the original. Now it's a war song. Though, to be honest, I can totally imagine Lentzie singing the original, word by word. Damn I can't wait to get out the one I actually have planned for a certain other unit. Oh, dear... I can't wait either! I can't be the only one imagining Runan doing the navy seals copypasta from this can I?That's so dumb, I can't imagine Runan lowering himself to that. To be fair, the bracelet can't die by accident and cause you to restart a chapter. So even if it doesn't have the healing capabilities of Katri, it's also less of a liability. That said, I can't see it contributing anything so it's still deadweight. That's true, I guess. Mel's stats aren't much to write home either, but she's got a horse to escape and The Roger to protect her. Did Pavlov propose to her or something? Oh, please... bwahahahahahah! Pretty sure that's what a lot of players thought. Considering half the replies contain a variation of this line, yes. Samson, you sound ready to sharpen your axe on the rocks in his head. He probably should, to be honest. Maerchen demonstrates that sometimes castration isn't enough of a deterrent. He needs death. That's what he needs. And so we have Lentzenheimmer (albeit only in an imaginary flashback), Maerchen and Slaver all about at one time. The sleaze alone requires two updates. Oh, goodness, you're right... Probably still could. You've seen Maerchen's stats, and Holmes is bow locked. Yup. On 22/4/2019 at 8:38 PM, BrightBow said: Oh yeah, the Power Staff does only raise strength, my bad. I thought it raised attack power. Ah, you're forgiven. Well, here is that guy again. It's probably worth noting that having Yuni say "No" would lead to the Lyria version of this scene. So if Lyria were around, it would be "little girl abduction fun" either way. "Little girl abduction fun". I feel like a terrible person for laughing at that. On the bright side, this is the last time we are going to see this guy. Or at least it's the last scene that I am aware of. The game has so many hidden events, it's hard to make such a claim with certainty. Pretty sure it is the last scene he appears in, yes. Which means I finally get to have some fun, myself. On 22/4/2019 at 9:56 PM, Hawkwing said: Thanks for the warning. Glad to hear that the content is interesting. I hope that it doesn't take 2 or 3 hours to write it this time around. Good luck. I took the schmuck bait. Not as disturbed as I thought I would be, but I suppose that answers my question of what a dead body looks like in real life. I really need to stop tempting fate. You probably should. I see that Dark Souls took the Oblivion route toward face creation. Kinda. I really want to try Dark Souls sometime. It's a game I could see myself really either loving or really hating, and I'm curious which side I'd fall into. I'm doing both, kinda. I love it a lot of the time, and the rest of the time I lovingly hate it. Hilariously awesome, you mean. I suppose so. Ah, yes. Modern Spongebob. Sad to see a show I enjoyed but couldn't watch much as a kid go down the drain like that for years. Ya do got to wonder how strong of stomachs animators have, considering the kind of things they have to draw and animate, step-by-step. I wouldn't be surprised if, after a few years in the industry, nothing phases them anymore. Or they just want their pay check. Never! For "Never Give Up" is my personal motto! Relevant. And then you'll discover that said "plothole" is not a plothole at all, but actually has multiple meanings, is covered earlier/later in the Bible, and will have some historical evidence to back it up if you seriously go look for it. Hm. Well then, I'll take your word for it. Now here's one question I've got for ya: could YOU use a Bible as a weapon if you absolutely had to? I know how to add text (I made a few comics using it), it's alt text (where you hover over the picture to have another message pop up) that I'm curious on how to add. Ahh... pretty sure that'd require another sort of image format to work like that. I've never done anything like that, I'm sorry. It's probably possible, I just don't know. The fishing minigame became a thing in Blustone, while White Island, the horror game, has been the companies other product for years. Ah, I see. I mean, if you run down the hallway, you'll get shot. If you hide in a room full of corpses, you may have put yourself right next to the zombies... or get shot by someone wanting to be extra sure. The closet at least can be inconspicuous. Granted, you get caught eventually anyway, but I don't know what happened next, because I decided to play Season 1 first since the game begins with Season 2, for some reason. Seasons in videogames always confused me. Ergh... normally games don't start with the second season. Maybe it's just this game's seasons that are confusing. Good relations with the Wookies, Yoda has. Plus they rip off the arms of anyone that ticks them off. Aha, that was always fun to do in the Lego game(s). Yeah, I've heard of its reputation. Heck, I've only visited the site when a trusted friend or SFW youtuber linked there, and even then I was cautions about what I was getting into. A good mindset. You can turn the people the kicked you there into a fine red paste, and maybe even become a one-man army. Besides, it doesn't hurt too much getting kicked there. I walked it off every time it happened, without so much as an "ow". ...are you sure you didn't get Maerchen'd when you were a kid? In all seriousness, though, you can't have ever been kicked too hard if you just walked it off. If the opponent is prepared for it, he could take it and probably would be given the perfect chance to fight back (not only that, but it's easy to defend one's crotch, so chances are the hit wouldn't even be so effective), not to mention he'd probably be incredibly pissed off. However, a serious kick to an oblivious target will completely incapacitate pretty much anybody and has a very high chance of causing lasting damage. With all due respect, I think this is less you being the Incredible Hulk and more that whoever kicked you didn't want to destroy you for life. Not that I'd know, either, but I'm pretty sure this is just fact. One actual myth is that it doesn't hurt women to get kicked in the groin because they don't have balls. Wrong, vaginas are even more sensitive. It's just that it's harder to nail the blow due to vaginas not protuding from the groin in a neat, easily targeted sack. Huh, didn't think about that. Nah, I was thinking about smashing them against the wall and unloading on them while their mobility is limited. Although now I have the idea to smash their face against the wall until they run out of air... Oh, goodness, what have I done? I gave him ideas...! This alone makes me more interested in buying Shadow Dragon than trying to get the original Mystery working again. Just goes to show that sometimes it's not the quality of the story, but the quality of the telling that makes things great. You probably should. One could make a case for Book 2 (although I still like FE12 better, myself), but Book 1 (and FE1, for that matter) is just plain inferior to Shadow Dragon in every way. Not only does it lack all the Gaiden chapters and characters, which, admittedly, are annoying to get (I humbly believe the best way to play FE11 is with Cirosan's patches), but they're still solid content that FE3 lacks; it also removed characters from the original and chapters as well! FE11 also has a ton of QoL features, plain better gameplay, the best difficulty settings in the series, kick-ass writing... About the only thing that could be argued is better in FE3 is the visual style. Personally? Not gonna defend the battle animations, but I've always digged the semi-realistic, serious, bleak portraits from the DS era. It just screams "serious war drama", whereas FE3 and its terrible hair just doesn't do it for me. Planescape: Torment came out in 1999, so Black Isle Studios (now know as Obsidian) did it first. Mm, I see. Oh, well. He was quick to show his true colors. Right? This does not inspire reassurance. Ahahahahah... read above. Rishel will use the Sunflame to Tank. Ohhhh... aren't I a genius? I see. I got understood when you mentioned the route split, but I was not expecting a to be continued format, to say the least. Not that I'm complaining, as I'm actually curious on where this will lead. Nowhere really, nothing's going to change because of this. I only did the "to be continued" thing last update to taunt people. Tee hee...! That was a clever change, I will give you that. Hah, thanks. This reminds me of Enders Game, where one of the characters skinned squirrels for fun. I never actually read the book from beginning to end, but I did skim it when a friend brought it to lunch in... fifth grade? Middle School? Maybe it was Lentzenheimer. Lentzenheimer's in Ender's Game. Glad to see Holmes do something that's not stupid. Again. Even if it's fictional. Everything about it's fictional, that was just more fictional than the rest of the fiction. This is both hilarious and a little creepy considering what happens later/earler. Totally intentional, really. The Condor Squad is an awesome name. And your misery just goes to show that they're powerful. Doesn't mean I like it! Wyvern riders, eh? Considering how Sasha is holding up, I can see how they can be a pain. Oh, they're not as OP as Sasha, tho. If they were, I'd probably just quit right there. Never underestimate numbers in these kind of games. One-man armies are (almost) always on the heroes side. Not this time, believe me. This is the time Kaga decided he wanted the player to know what it feels like, for once. ...You do realize that that might be because of tactics, Zepp? And he made a bad pun, too. That's Zepp for you. Don't tell me she's joining again? Guess they didn't want her experience to go to waste, as little as it was. Nah. This will make up for the weeks of dealing with Holmes stupidity. Hahah, yes, it's something to look forward to, at least. Ah, so she is staying home. Disregard what I said earlier. Something tells me Zachariah's section was either rewritten or something they accidentally glossed over when reviewing the script. It sure feels like it at times. Having said that, it raises questions of why the slaver and Maerchen were kept in. Because those were Kaga's favourite plot points. Mainly because they made all the test audience feel terrible. That was his objective. You could probably have a counter for every time said "calling out" has to deal with Katri, though. It'd be way too long. I want to keep my counters nice and clean, thank you very much. Being fair, they haven't seen Chaos man do that. I guess so, but still... On the other hand, they did see him talk to a dragon, which Katria actually fought in this LP, so this is still stupid. Yeah, exactly. Now, this does raise the question of how Guenchaos didn't see Katri duking it out with his dear deformed dragon. You'd think that would've been the perfect occasion to kidnap her, ring and all. Probably should've brought it up back then, but it didn't occur to me. I'm glad he and Xeno turned out not to be a-holes ever since Holmes route began. Yeah. Seems like a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kind of situation. Without the bracelet, she's easy pickings. With it, then all they really have to do is wait until her dragon form transforms back, and kidnap her. It's pretty bad, yes. Like the one after Codha was defeated? In that case, it's nice to see one of these again. It was long yet entertaining update to read. Yeah, that one was. This one, however... Can't say whether it's a good or a bad thing we missed this. Let's go with both. Took the words out of my mouth. Wait, Shigen used to be a cult warrior?! Eyup. ...I can see why he left. And I swear, if he mentioned that specific fact before this... You definitely can see it, especially since he explains it in detail five minutes after that line. That was awesome. There's not much to comment on there because it speaks for itself. Indeed. For some reason, I find reading the rest of her dialogue without knowing for sure how much of it is due to being drunk to be hilarious. Heh, thanks. ...I don't know if Holmes being drunk right now would make this scene better, or worse. I'll go the safe route and say both. All right, I'll take it. More or less Kaga, except he was also cackling maniacally. Thank you Welcome. Garo saying what the audience is thinking right now. Aaand here it is. Please tell me Sam pulls a Eugen and decks the idiot in the face. Sadly, no. Only one person is as godly as Eugen, and that's Eugen. Stab him in the groin again. With an battleaxe. There goes the Hawkwing, wrathful as ever... This is why it's unwise to jump to conclusions about these kind of things. Yes. I have mixed feelings on how the disturbing scene beforehand leads into this. On the bright side, the disgusted reactions and more backstory already lessened the blow of that. To be fair, Lionheart was probably about to ask Holmes what the hell that was when he recognized the dance. That's... actually pretty tragic. To die before letting someone else that's important to you know what happened. Yeah... I really don't know how Lioheart is supposed to respond to Holmes. On the one hand, he was vital in revealing his long lost daughter. On the other hand, it was by asking her to dance in an outfit that doesn't leave much to the imagination. I'm going with punching him in the face and thanking him afterwards. Hwahahahahah... Lionheart's too much of a great guy to do that. He'd probably just awkwardly thank him and then send him away quickly, like back when Holmes more or less openly told him that he wanted him to become king so he could go and ask him for favors. Guess Kaga realized that he had to make up for that bad day writing the first part of Holmes. 'Suppose so. Prot is just a variant of proto-, so there's not much to talk about here, I'm afraid. What is there to say? I'm just paying off the RNGoddess so she may have mercy on me. KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!!! Now, let's not be overly hasty... Oh no... ...Slit his throat so he can choke on his blood... You poor fool... Yes, that's basically it, yeah. On 22/4/2019 at 10:29 PM, Pengaius said: Ruben, you fiend you should be punished for this conduct. I believe you should be forced to use Arkis you bad man. Nu. Sorry for the short post but my page crashed and I lost most of the post so I cannot even right now, good day sir! Too bad for you. On 23/4/2019 at 12:15 AM, eclipse said: If you ever want to rip your hair out, do a LP of any of the FFT games (there's three). Parrhesia already did WotL, but if you want to throw your own two bits in there, feel free to do so~! ...Fast Fourier Transform? What? Oh, Final Fantasy Tactics! Well, never played 'em, so... More words: Spoiler Hello, everybody! Last time, we had the Unholy Trinity of TRS (Lentzenheimer, Maerchen, and the slaver) in a single update. One of them was entirely my fault. Today, we watch more awful things that are my fault. I have no idea. Probably digging through trash cans or some nonsense like that. Why don't you strap a bell to her neck? That way you won't have to keep worrying where she is at all hours of the day. I'm being serious here, Holmes! Who knows what some creep could be doing to her right now! She is a girl, you know! As usual, the first thing that happens is that Holmes is a complete idiot. That's enough, Holmes! If you're not going to help me look for her, then I'll just go by myself! For goodness's sake... Why does that kid always get so riled up? Gee, I don't know, maybe because he came to you with some perfectly reasonable concerns - he wasn't even panicking or anything, he was handling the situation excellently! - and you mocked him and the girl that's been kidnapped by a lardo in green. I swear, one punch was not enough. It was enough to knock him out, but not to knock the stupidity out of him! Nice. Now that's just the most beautiful thing to cut to. Excuse me, sir? Have you seen a fourteen-year-old girl around here? Violet hair, yea tall? No, I don't believe so. I haven't seen anyone like that. Wait a sec... Those clothes there... They're Juni's, I'm sure of it! He just left her clothes lying around!? Oi, quit your snoopin' around! This ain't a place for brats, y'hear? Get outta here, or I'll make you regret it. Where's Juni?! Where's the girl that was wearing this dress?! I-I don't know nothin', kid! Like last time, about all that happens to Morbid Dick is that he gets punched across the face a couple times and then Xeno just leaves him there. Astounding. Oh, for the love of-- It doesn't matter, Juni. Let's just go back. All right... At least her reaction's more reasonable than Plum's was. D-Don't look at me! Get away from me! Here, I've got your clothes... Ow...! Hey, don't hit me! I said, get away! To be completely honest, I'd be more worried if she didn't panic and strike at him without thinking. Nothing! Sure doesn't seem like nothing. She's been crying ever since you got back, saying stuff like "I hate everything..." *Sigh* I tried to explain... Explanation or no explanation, she's still just a kid, Xeno. ...oh my goodness why-- how is this guy such a humongous dick...?! Something about how much of an absolute fucking moron Holmes can be is quite impressive to me. How does he manage to button up his cape every morning? Come to think about it, why's he even wearing that thing to begin with? I thought he wasn't very noble-like! What!? How dare you...! There are some things you just shouldn't joke about, Holmes! Wait, Xeno...! Oh, gee, he's mad at you now? Who could've possibly foreseen this? I think you took it a little too far. Thanks, Detective Shigen. I think I realized that on my own. Yeah, well, forgive him for doubting that. I think anybody with a brain would. I'll have to apologize to him later... What actually happened between those two, anyway? I see... As long as everything's all right. Good thing Shigen's here to fix everything off-screen. No, I'm sorry, Xeno. I made a big mistake... You were only helping me, but when I realized what you must've thought of me being dressed like that, I... Don't worry, it's all right. I'm just happy that you are safe. Thanks, Xeno... I'm sorry I hit you... That was something. If Attrom was alive and was able to recruit Lyria, we could've gotten a different scene by having Juni refuse the milk. Believe it or not, it's even worse. Like, ten times worse. I think we're better off with this. Oh, hey! It's Bishop Law and Order! ...oh, no, it's Bishop Law and Order! That means the lore dump is upon us! NOOOOOOOOO MY WRISTSSSSSSS! Not this time. Actually, we... Hmm... Hmm... I see! Sounds like my little girl has finally found her true home at last... Isn't it a bit redundant to say "at last" right after "finally"? I know it's nitpicking, but I want to delay this as much as possible... Katri wants you to come to Salia, too. The King and Queen also want to thank you for raising her. You're not going to go meet htem? Katri's going to be sad... One day, I shall, but not now. I want Katri to get to know and love her true parents without me there to hold her back. I fear that as her foster father, my pressence there would only complicate matters. You might be right... You're one heck of a guy, you know that? Completely different from my dad. Perfect, second Lee! I'm no fighter, but I hope my knowledge of history and the like will be of use to you. D'aww... No, he just wants to deliver exposition. Sure. Pack a bag, and we can get going. I'd love to find out just how much you know about the Shamans and guardian dragons. Ho ho, you like to get right to the point, don't you, Sir Holmes? Feel free to ask away. And ask away he shall... brace for impact, we are about to enter the Text Zone. Records are pretty scant outside of the sacred texts of Yutona's followers. Certainly, Sir Holmes. There's no shortage of differing oral traditions, but I'll try to give you what I know to be the historical facts. Prepare your favourite exposition music. I recommend this. It's not very expositiony, but it'll break the monotony, and since it's the best thing I've listened to this month, I want this man to get views. More than a thousand years ago, a wave of colonists from Jugud to the far east sailed over here to Lieberia. They settled in the southeast along the Great River, which they called "Reeve," their word for "compassionate." They built four great city-states, Rivellia, Zemsellia, Nolzeria, and Razellia. Oh, there's a fourth province of Reeve? I had no idea. I must've missed it the last three times I reached this scene. Pretty sure this is the only time Rivellia comes up anywhere, too. In time, these four cities united under a single banner, the Republic of Reeve. Quite right. And then, you get pearls of wisdom like this. There is only one thing worse than repeating the last few words somebody said for dramatic effect, and that is to ask the world's most obvious thing so that the other person can confirm the world's most obvious thing and I can get the world's most obvious ulcer. Fucking hell, Holmes, of fucking COURSE the Republic of Reeve is the nation the Kingdom of Reeve was named after! What's next? "Does the fact that Kaga's first game has a Holmes and Kaga's second game has a Sherlock mean that Kaga enjoyed Sherlock Holmes?" "iS tHe SkY bLUe?!?!?!?!?" But the Jugudi were in constant conflict with one of the indigenous peoples of Lieberia, the Zoans, who lived in the mountain valleys to the north. The Zoans were intensely devout followers of Gerxel, a warrior-god who they believed would defend them against any foe. Gerxel was their champion, and the invincible defender of their sacred tradition. Almost sounds like a nice guy... Pretty different from the modern Gerxel that the Cult believes in, isn't it? In some ways, in others, no. Gerxel's power was described as a cleansing wildfire that would burn away any impurities, that is, heretics and infidels. This will actually be relevant in the future. In a way that I have never personally witnessed, myself, but will make very sure to this time around. It'd be a shame for you all to miss... that. The Zoans believed themselves a chosen people, so they instinctively distrusted any sort of foreign influence. Once the Jugudi started building a sizable population, the colonists were seen as a threat to the ancient Zoan traditions. Zoan marauders attacked Reevan settlements wherever and whenever they could, setting the entire frontier ablaze. That's insane... I guess it was only a matter of time before the Republic retaliated? Indeed, and it was swift and merciless. The Reevans were far more advanced. He refused time and time again to accept the Zoans' surrender. The Zoans were terrified of his very name, calling him the incarnation of the devil. ...... The remaining Zoans fled into the wastelands north of their ancestral home, their hearts burning with the spirit of vengeance. The young chieftan of the Zoans, a man named Kalbazan, left on a sacred pilgrimage to the great Altar of Gerxel in order to beg for the vindication of his people... ...and Gerxel granted him his terrible power. A dragon? I thought dragons were sacred, like the four Guardian Dragons of Yutona... You're quite right. A number of myths have been written trying to explain why he took the form of a dragon. Some claim Gerxel was the fallen brother of the Goddess Yutona, for instance. Regardless, Kalbazan, in the name of Gerxel, brought the Republic of Reeve to ruin in just under a year. With no one in the world left to oppose him, Kalbazan conquered the entirety of Lieberia. For the next century, he ruled the land as head of the Zoan Empire. And that's how the Dark Ages began... I see... So after that, Carluon led his insurrection and managed to kill Gerxel, freeing Lieberia from the Empire. Indeed, though you're skipping a bit ahead. It was under Kalbazan that the traditions of the Cult shifted to their modern forms. For instance, their high priest would ritually sacrifice non-believers to appease Gerxel. Unhappy with these changes, the majority of the Zoan population called Kalbazan a fraud, saying that he wasn't truly their god. The dissenters were condemned as heretics, and Kalbazan enslaved them as he had the Reevans and the western indigenous peoples. After that, a good number of them stopped believing in Gerxel altogether. Carluon was a child of such lineage, born into slavery under the Empire's lash. He was among the few who dared resist the unconquerable might of Kalbazan. His rebellion was brave, but in vain. In the end, Carluon fell, broken and beaten before the power of the black dragon. In his final moments, he prayed in tears. He called out to heaven, begging to any god that might be listening, to lend him the strength to stand back up and face Gerxel. And to his surprise, his prayer was answered. The Goddess Yutona, daughter of the Earth Mother Miradona, appeared before him and drove away Kalbazan with her sacred light. For the next three years, they fought side-by-side against the Zoa Empire. The Goddess blessed him with her power, and gave his blade the power to slay the unholy god-emperor. Ah, yes, the mythical Sword of Carluon, which struck down Gerxel in one blow... See, I could've put some images here to break the monotony, but one, Imgbox likes to throw me ads of toe fungus healing miracles and the images are the most disgusting things ever, so I want to avoid opening images; and two - this is the real reason -, I want you to appreciate the magnificence of this. Look at it, people. Gaze upon the wall of text, and let it sink in that WE AREN'T EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH YET. I think we're treading too much back into the realm of myth, gramps. I'm more interested in the actual history. Ship!? What ship!? You're standing in the middle of a port! There isn't a ship to man! What the hell are you on about, Holmes? If this is an excuse to get him to shut up, you're a complete idiot, and if you're serious, then you're even worse than a complete idiot! Oh, no, nononono it's not over, my friends. Oh, no. We're gonna get a plot bomb for every map stop right up to the Imperial Ship. OF COURSE! When he's not on a ship, he asks Law to stop because he needs to man the ship that doesn't exist, and when he's on a ship, he asks him to continue because he no longer needs to man the ship, even though it is now and not before that the ship needs to be manned! WHY!? WHY IS THIS THE MAIN GUY AND NOT SENNET!!?? Meanwhile, on the upper deck... Quote G-Gah! C-Captain, where the hell are you!? Please help me! I don't know how to control this thing! What is going on!? Where is Sir Holmes? Or Shigen, where is Shigen? I dunno 'bout Shigen, but Holmes is just yappin' away with the old priest! He said it was gonna be just a minute! I'm just a seaman, a warrior, I don't know how to man a ship properly! Bah, gimme that wheel! I'm sure this thing can't be much harder to move around than that big, smelly box I've been carrying around for the last few months! H-hey, lay off! I may not be no helmsman, but I bet you haven't even been on a ship before you joined us! I can handle this! I swear, if we sink, I'm gonna find Holmes in Hell and crush his neck 'til he dies again... Grandfather, why? Why must luck continue to forsake me like this? What have I done to deserve such a fate!? O-ough... so much... swaying... urk...! THE ROCKS! AVOID THE ROCKS! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHH! MOVE, STUPID WHEEL, MOVE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIDUNWANNADIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! The myths say Yutona became incarnate as a human being and married Carluon, but what really happened? Are you still in doubt about that? It's historical fact that Carluon did marry, and that his Empress was named Yutona. You've seen the power of their lineage with your own eyes in the Guardian Dragons, who were born to protect humanity from evil. Carluon and Yutona ruled over Lieberant, or as you called it, the Holy Empire of Reeve, which spanned almost all of the continent. In the forty years he ruled the dominion, he upheld virtues of equality and charity, and he was venerated across the land. He passed away at the age of sixty, and his passing was mourned by all. Psch. Bitch, please. Eugen is that same age, and instead of dying, he's giving Holmes a lesson of the school of hard knocks. Eugen > TRS Anri. Empress Yutona followed her husband's wishes and reorganized the government back into a system resembling the old Republic. Following that, she appointed her four daughters, Reeve, Salia, Leda, and Canaan, as the head of the four new holy shrines, Wait... Reeve was a daughter of Yutona and Carluon? Then, was the Kingdom of Reeve named after the Republic of Reeve or Reeve, Princess of Reeve? Was Reeve, the princess, named after the Kingdom of Reeve-- the Republic of Reeve, sorry, or after Reeve, the Jugudi word for "compassionate"? And when did they come around to calling the river of Reeve "Great Reeve River"? Scratch that, I think it was "Great River Reeve"... if the Great River Reeve was given that name before the Kingdom of Reeve came to existance, that just adds another problem to the pile. Was the Kingdom of Reeve named after the Great Reeve River, the Republic of Reeve, the princess Reeve of Reeve, or Reeve, the Jugudi word for "compassionate"? ...G-GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! Mayhaps Holmes's question was more necessary than I gave him credit for... and then vanished into the depths of Mt. Cielo. ...oh, in the name of-- Mount Sky!? Are you fucking kidding me now!?! Prosperity continued for a decade or so before the new republic began to crumble. With Carluon and Yutona gone, the sentiment of unity that had kept the Empire together was fading away, and the ambition and greed of the senators tore the land apart. Tensions between the different ethnic groups of Lieberant reached a new high. The most powerful of the senators organized themselves into four factions, each around one of the four daughters of Carluon. After a short but devastating civil war, the Empire was shattered into pieces. The priestesses were forced to serve as figureheads of the new kingdoms that bore their names. That was how the four so-called Holy Kingdoms really came to be. In other words, it was all about as much of a disaster as Holmes's leadership. Great to know. Meanwhile, in the upper deck still... Quote WHALE! WHALE!? HERE!? YES, WHALE! TO THE RIGHT! O-OKAY! NO, I MEANT THE WHALE IS TO THE RIGHT, NOT MOVE TO THE RIGHT! TURN BACK, TURN BACK! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUURGHHHH!! Mm... What's with all the ruckus up there...? Shouldn't you go check out what's going on, Shigen? Holmes'll take care of it... only thing I want to be checking out right now is you... Oh, Shigen... ANOTHER WHALE! HOW MANY WHALES ARE THERE IN THIS SEA!? As you can imagine, the bloodlines of the four priestesses and those of the new monarchs have been intermarried for generations. Katri, for instance, is a distant descendant of Lady Salia in both her maternal and her paternal lines. Things were largely peaceful for centuries after the separation of Lieberant into the four kingdoms, save for a few hiccups like the breakup of Old Canaan into the Zoan Lands. But in the last century, conflict has arisen anew between the kingdoms, as if to release tension that'd been bottled up for ages. I believe the spark that began it all was the border dispute between Leda and Salia that led to the War of Destruction. The war lasted for seven grueling years, until that fateful day in Leda... We know this already And we both know how that turned out... Let's stop here for today. We'll make port at Isura. Oh, thank God! Give me those five seconds of gameplay, I need them! Right, I'm back. Sorry, Garo. Hey, you did well! Boat's not upside down or anything! You might as well take over, so I can just laze around all day! Heh heh heh... ... ... ... ...hey, what's with all the stares? Sea's so calm, it looks like I could just hop off the boat and take a walk! Can't have been that hard being helsman for five minutes, right? ... ... ..."five minutes"...!? ...nnghh... h-hey... Sir Roger? Yes...? Could you please throw me overboard? ... "Five minutes", he says...! Oh, goodness, and this is the longest section yet... I don't think I can handle this today. Calling it a day. Ruben from one day later here. Let's resume the history lesson. Indeed he was. But he could not hope to control the sacred dragon, and it rampaged across Leda and Salia, bringing ruin to the lance it once defended. When we had a run-in with Kranion, it seemed like it was obedient to the Cult of Gerxel. Do you know anything about that? I believe that there is some sort of connection between Kranion and the Pontiff. This is only conjecture, as most of the Ledan archives were destroyed forty years ago, but I have my sources. "Sources," huh...? Yes, Holmes. Maybe he was paying attention to the script. Remember, he called Kranion "my love" in chapter 21? We've already established that. Why we are going back and pretending that there is a mystery here at all is beyond me. Say, Kranion is just like Neuron, right? So she must've been a priestess from the Earth Shrine, or else a princess of Leda... It was the latter. According to what I've heard in Mahl, it was Princess Tita, the youngest daughter of King Grauss, who became Kranion. Ah, yeah. What's that? Can you hear that? It's the sound of something we already know. Guenchaos called her Tita back then, for crying out loud!!! She was only fifteen years old at the time. ...okay, that's new. He forced that on his own daughter? What a horrible thing to do... So if Tita was from the royal family, what about the clerics of the Earth Shrine? Whatever happened to them? According to Sage Eisenbach, the only one of the main line who survived Kranion's massacre was the Sage-in-Waiting... His name was Guenchaos. Back then, he and Eisenbach were studying together under the White Sage Morse. But then Gotoh saw the darkness within his heart, and decided to grant Aura to Miloah instead of Gharnef, causing him to murder Miloah in a fit of jealous rage and-- Wait... that's not right. But then Wendell saw the darkness within his heart, and decided to grant Excalibur to Merric instead of Arlen, causing him to try to murder Merric in a fit of jealous rage and-- ... Hold on a second... Guenchaos was the Sage of Earth?! How did a man like that end up becoming the Pontiff of Gerxel? I'm afraid I have no idea. You'd have to ask him yourself. But after Leda was destroyed, Guenchaos abandoned his studies and left for the Valley of Zoa, where he started a revival. He gathered support among the oppressed remnans of the old Cult and pure-blooded Zoans, and he revived the Cult on a massive scale, with himself as its Pontiff. He continued gaining followers, and slowly he built a theocratic state that spanned the Zoan Lands and the remnants of Leda. Hence the Ledan Crusade and King Bahanuk's attempts to stamp out the Cult of Gerxel, as it was seen as a threat to peace. Doesn't that all sound wrong to you, though? Canaanites are descendants of the Zoans, and you said even Carluon was a Zoan. Why do people hate them so much? It doesn't make any sense! Can you ever expect hatred to make sense? Yes, I can. My hatred for Gotoh and Horsemen is perfectly sensical. Gotoh put me through Anri's way for no goddamn reason, and a Horseman raided my village out of nowhere! Bullshit, all of it, fuck, balderdash and blistering barnacles! Though I will say, the focus of everyone's hatred has shifted over the years. Loosely speaking, there are five ethnic groups that people tend to identify with. There are the Reevans, descendants of the Jugudi colonists from ancient times; the Salians, descended from the western indigenous cultures of the central steppes and forests; the Canaanites, descended from Zoans who sided with Carluon in the days of the Empire; the Ledans and Welltese, who are really just a mixture of the previous three... These four groups share their belief in the goddess Yutona and their reverence for Carluon and his descendants. The common tongue they share, as well as centuries of intermarriage between them, have all but nullified their differences. But the last group, the pure-blooded Zoans, have kept their proud, ancient culture alive and remained separate from the others. The majority of them still believe in Gerxel, though usually following very different, more peaceful traditions than the Cult's, akin to the original worship of Gerxel. Shigen always talks about how his parents were Zoans, and all the trouble that it's brought him... Why can't they just let go of Gerxel? You would have them abandon their culture? Their hope that they've held on to and kept alive throughout centuries of oppression? Imagine yourself being held prisoner on Yr simply for your bloodline, with no escape. Would you not hold on to anything at all that would give you hope of salvation? Wait, Yr used to be a prison island? Goodness, what are they teaching you children these days? That was where the Kingdom of Reeve deported most of their Zoans until recently. About twenty-five years ago, an insurrection broke out, and the prisoners of Yr rose up under the leadership of Swordmaster Yoda. King Badoum sent many expeditions to reclaim the isle, but none could best Yoda's rebels. Eventually, he ordered Duke Gramud and your father to take care of it personally. But instead of subjugating the Islse, they met peacefully with Yoda and pledged their support to his cause. The King was furious, but there was nothing he could do against his greatest commanders. That's why Yr was an officially autonomous province before the Empire conquered Reeve. That was actually pretty badass. And I think we didn't know this already! What an accomplishment! Go back and read that, people. Don't skip this particular paragraph. I wouldn't have expected it of my old man... Though that explains how he met Yoda. However, the fact that Holmes didn't know this beforehand mystifies me. He knew all three parties involved! Sure, he always hated his father, but he knows Yoda as well, and it'll be established in the future that he also knew Gramud well. So what the fuck? Why did nobody tell him this story ever? Why does it have to be the old guy who wasn't even there? There's one thing I don't get, though. The great tower on Yr was supposedly the temple where Sage Morse lived, right? What's it doing on a prison island? It wasn't always a temple. The conditions on the Isle that Yoda rebelled against were nothing compared to what it used to be like. The tower used to be the Reevan outpost on the Isle, where they oversaw the forced labor of the Zoans, who would build the naval ships for the kingdom. In the year 547, Sage Morse came to the island and claimed the tower as his own. None of the Reevan soldiers dared touch him, and eventually he and his clerics interfered so much with regular operations that the military ended up abandoning the place. Ever since then, it was Morse's own temple. Morse the Troll... pffhwahahah. And they actually tried to continue using the tower? Can you imagine, trying to move prisoners to their cells, and every two steps they have to maneuver to dodge a priest's robe? Hahahah, no wonder they gave up. Wait, didn't you say before that Sage Morse was Eisenbach and Guenchaos's teacher? How could he have also been alive almost three hundred years ago to do that? Yes, we're going there, thanks very much. ...and just like that, it's over. Yup. It ends on that line. After paragraphs upon paragraphs of endless exposition, Law says that sentence and they shut up for the remainder of the voyage. Not even a "thanks for the history lesson, Gramps!" or anything like that. It just stops without fanfare. This reminds me of a particular TV show, I won't say the name to avoid spoilers, but its ending is pretty famous. You see, the protagonist and his family are just eating at a restaurant, and there's a song playing, and then all of sudden it just Death count: Attrom Juliattisnacordst Sharon Krishna Indiana Jones Reset count: 2 (Runan: 1 - Katri: 1) Dullahan's done with my incompetence: 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrightBow Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 (edited) It does depend on from which angle you look at it but I think the Yuri version is the worse one. She got stripped while she was unconscious. In Lyria's case she didn't get drugged or coerced to anything and never even realized she was in any danger. But I suppose we are operating on a level of awful here were debates about the specific flavors and degrees of terrible just aren't worth anyone's time and sanity. Hmmm, corrupt senators banding around divine priestesses to use them as figureheads. The FE7 parallels are generally the most obvious ones but this does already sound a lot like Tellius. Edited April 27, 2019 by BrightBow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Roger The Paladin Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: I recall it being FF7 so many years ago. Ah, to go back to the good ol' days. They weren't good for me, mind, but I liked youtube's format better. To be frank, (which isn't my name but anyways), I just finished a run of VII and am now playing through VI. In my honest opinion I prefer IV over both (not even nostalgia speaking because my first was X, as the snes games weren't released over here and I didn't own a PS1). Though I don't have V (yet) and I'm intending to play IX next (bought the Switch re-release just recently). I wanted to do a run of as many of the first VIII games back to back (though out of order) as a kind of prep for playing IX because I understand it's full of nods to the other games and I want to understand as many as possible, and see how many I missed after. That said I might hold off on VIII until after IX. That one I got not too long after X... and some things really bugged me there. Enough I can't say I've ever seen the ending. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Garo's probably just confused. On an unrelated note, I saw a personalized license plate today which read "GARO" (Or maybe GAR0). For reasons unknown. I wanted to photograph it for this thread so bad. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Oh. Awkward. It's okay. Steve's passing didn't quite get the attention Stan Lee's own death later in the year did. Not that it's Stan's fault. Steve was the type to avoid the spotlight because he believed in creating a product that spoke for itself, to the degree publically available photos of the man are relatively few. Stan had a different philosophy about things, hence why he was so prolific. Another notable death over-shadowed last year was Judge Dredd co-creator, Carlos Ezquerra, who despite designing one of the biggest names in British comics, had lived his life out in his native country of Spain (small world). Catch is, despite his death occurring in October (by memory), I didn't hear of Ezquerra's passing until January. Point I guess is, 2018 was a bad year for comic legends, because go figure most of the characters who achieved the greatest legacy were created at least 40 years ago, and often more. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: I would recommend that you take a look at that collection, some of the portraits are so good, it's a wonder why they weren't included instead of some crap like Footballman. Let's hope Footballman never reads that. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Spoiler This one, though... I love how the tone did a complete 180 compared to the original. Now it's a war song. Though, to be honest, I can totally imagine Lentzie singing the original, word by word. I thought it was a nice touch. After all, Frollo himself claimed to be purer than the "common vulgar, weak, licentious crowd". I thought it apt to mirror his disdain for the common man, and what mirror image isn't reversed? Instead of disdain for the common man, our singer, who we will leave to the imagination, has the disdain for an individual who, while definitely vulgar and most probably licentious, is anything but common. The type of man that Frollo or Zephiel could have used as an argument for their own views on the human race and had a point. A very cherry-picked point, but none-the-less a point. Actually it's now my headcanon that Zephiel kept Narcian around just so he could use him as a reminder why he hates humanity. It'd explain everything. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: That's so dumb, I can't imagine Runan lowering himself to that. Not even as a kid? Because kids do dumb shit. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Now here's one question I've got for ya: could YOU use a Bible as a weapon if you absolutely had to? Wouldn't need to. I like to use a throwing knife as a bookmark. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Gee, I don't know, maybe because he came to you with some perfectly reasonable concerns - he wasn't even panicking or anything, he was handling the situation excellently! - and you mocked him and the girl that's been kidnapped by a lardo in green. I swear, one punch was not enough. It was enough to knock him out, but not to knock the stupidity out of him! A non-stupid Holmes is like dry water. It's like solid gas. It's like well-researched Screenrant videos. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: He just left her clothes lying around!? Here we have a man even dumber than Martel. Kidnap girl. Leave clothes lying around in plain sight so anyone related may find you if they come looking. It seems that Holmes stupidity is contagious and was transferred by him punching Slaver. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: How does he manage to button up his cape every morning? Come to think about it, why's he even wearing that thing to begin with? I thought he wasn't very noble-like! He had it put on (probably with help) for a meeting with royalty one time, and never worked out how to remove it. Because Holmes. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...oh, no, it's Bishop Law and Order! That means the lore dump is upon us! NOOOOOOOOO MY WRISTSSSSSSS! Lore dump? Or Law dump? 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: In some ways, in others, no. Gerxel's power was described as a cleansing wildfire that would burn away any impurities, that is, heretics and infidels Sounds like something that Frollo would have loved. Damn it I can't stop with these references. Doesn't help I clicked the link and Barlowe kind of reminds me of Frollo. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: See, I could've put some images here to break the monotony, but one, Imgbox likes to throw me ads of toe fungus healing miracles and the images are the most disgusting things ever, so I want to avoid opening images; and two - this is the real reason -, I want you to appreciate the magnificence of this. Look at it, people. Gaze upon the wall of text, and let it sink in that WE AREN'T EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH YET. If words were bricks, this exposition could build everyone reading this thread a house. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Ship!? What ship!? You're standing in the middle of a port! There isn't a ship to man! What the hell are you on about, Holmes? If this is an excuse to get him to shut up, you're a complete idiot, and if you're serious, then you're even worse than a complete idiot! To corrupt a cliche, we've already established he's a complete idiot. What we're negotiating now is the price (in lives and time). 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: OF COURSE! When he's not on a ship, he asks Law to stop because he needs to man the ship that doesn't exist, and when he's on a ship, he asks him to continue because he no longer needs to man the ship, even though it is now and not before that the ship needs to be manned! WHY!? WHY IS THIS THE MAIN GUY AND NOT SENNET!!?? Meanwhile, on the upper deck... Case in point. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: I dunno 'bout Shigen, but Holmes is just yappin' away with the old priest! He said it was gonna be just a minute! I'm just a seaman, a warrior, I don't know how to man a ship properly! You know, with Maerchen having been a pirate and all, you'd think he might have some idea. Where's he when he could be useful? 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: G-GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! Mayhaps Holmes's question was more necessary than I gave him credit for.. Yeah, suddenly Holmes question goes from being incredibly stupid to incredibly valid. Who knew. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: HOW MANY WHALES ARE THERE IN THIS SEA!? All of them Tom. All the whales are in the sea. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: As you can imagine, the bloodlines of the four priestesses and those of the new monarchs have been intermarried for generations. Katri, for instance, is a distant descendant of Lady Salia in both her maternal and her paternal lines. So Katri's inbred? That might explain a few things about her intellect. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: She was only fifteen years old at the time. ...okay, that's new. I hope to God that wasn't the case when Guenchaos decided he loved her... 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: Can you ever expect hatred to make sense? Yes, I can. My hatred for Gotoh and Horsemen is perfectly sensical. Gotoh put me through Anri's way for no goddamn reason, and a Horseman raided my village out of nowhere! Bullshit, all of it, fuck, balderdash and blistering barnacles! Also I hate Slaver for perfectly good reasons. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: However, the fact that Holmes didn't know this beforehand mystifies me. He knew all three parties involved! Sure, he always hated his father, but he knows Yoda as well, and it'll be established in the future that he also knew Gramud well. So what the fuck? Why did nobody tell him this story ever? Why does it have to be the old guy who wasn't even there? Knowing Holmes all three of them told him and he forgot each time. Like how he forgot about Guenchaos referring to a certain dragon in a certain manner that has raised concerns. 1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said: This reminds me of a particular TV show, I won't say the name to avoid spoilers, but its ending is pretty famous. You see, the protagonist and his family are just eating at a restaurant, and there's a song playing, and then all of sudden it just I see that you decided to reference Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 In my headcanon, Xeno slit the slaver's throat. Possibly after jumping to conclusions as to what the slaver did to Juni. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I would recommend that you take a look at that collection, some of the portraits are so good, it's a wonder why they weren't included instead of some crap like Footballman. I thought that you said that Footballman had the best portrait? How the tides have turned... 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: It's a really awkward situation. My headcanon is that he was about to reprimand Holmes, but then he recognized the dance. A pretty good headcanon. I agree with it. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: You probably should. I really should stop assuming that every link you post is safe. There are also better jump scares out there. That one wouldn't of phased me as a kid, and I was horrified by jump scares back then (to the point were I rolled up into a ball and cried when Tom Bergeron pulled one on the audience in Americas Funnies Home Videos. I TRUSTED YOU, TOM!!!). 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Relevant. Let me guess, this is either Star Fox or... Yep. Called it. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Now here's one question I've got for ya: could YOU use a Bible as a weapon if you absolutely had to? Are we talking physical or spiritual weaponry? 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Ergh... normally games don't start with the second season. Maybe it's just this game's seasons that are confusing. I don't know either, although to be fair, I forgot to mention that the second season starts you off in a hospital, and there appears to be different characters than the first season at the start. Although given how similar they look, I wouldn't be surprised if a soldier in the second season is undercover as a character in the first. Man, I need to try the game out again. Or just look at a walkthrough, as I did with Beyond the Bounds. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: In all seriousness, though, you can't have ever been kicked too hard if you just walked it off. If the opponent is prepared for it, he could take it and probably would be given the perfect chance to fight back (not only that, but it's easy to defend one's crotch, so chances are the hit wouldn't even be so effective), not to mention he'd probably be incredibly pissed off. However, a serious kick to an oblivious target will completely incapacitate pretty much anybody and has a very high chance of causing lasting damage. With all due respect, I think this is less you being the Incredible Hulk and more that whoever kicked you didn't want to destroy you for life. Not that I'd know, either, but I'm pretty sure this is just fact. Yeah, "walk it off" was a figure of speech. I guess what I meant to say was that it does hurt, yes, and I did need to sit down and rest afterwords. But I never said "ow" or laid there in pain afterwards or screamed bloody murder or anything like that. I mean, when I had the "kicked in the groin on a trampoline" story (attempting a gymnastic move without any prior training is a bad idea. Standing in front of said person is an even worse idea), I didn't make a peep. All I did was politely ask to get off and sit down for a while. I did gain gain a disliking of them that day, though, and I don't mind that my back prevents me from jumping on one anymore (or skydiving, even if I'd only do that to save my life). I still find them fun to watch, though. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: One actual myth is that it doesn't hurt women to get kicked in the groin because they don't have balls. Wrong, vaginas are even more sensitive. It's just that it's harder to nail the blow due to vaginas not protuding from the groin in a neat, easily targeted sack. I actually knew that this myth was false. Although though I'd never kick there in an actual fight, or at a woman's chest. Then again, if Shadow Warrior 2 told me anything, then in the heat of battle, I could care less about where I attack as long as the enemy dies, dignity be damned. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: You probably should. One could make a case for Book 2 (although I still like FE12 better, myself), but Book 1 (and FE1, for that matter) is just plain inferior to Shadow Dragon in every way. Not only does it lack all the Gaiden chapters and characters, which, admittedly, are annoying to get (I humbly believe the best way to play FE11 is with Cirosan's patches), but they're still solid content that FE3 lacks; it also removed characters from the original and chapters as well! FE11 also has a ton of QoL features, plain better gameplay, the best difficulty settings in the series, kick-ass writing... I did notice that FE3 was lacking content from FE1 when I played it myself. I am curious about the idea behind the gaiden mechanics, and how it ends up working in practice. It seemed to me to be a way of ensuring that the player could get some extra experience, money, units, etc. in the event that they lost several characters over the course of the game, so that they could catch back up and not accidentally make the game impossible. However, it seems that IS misjudged how many units would die if the player decided to ironman the game, and forgot that FE1 was built around the idea of ironmanning, and thus gives you a multitude of back-up units, making the requirements even harder to reach. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Not this time, believe me. This is the time Kaga decided he wanted the player to know what it feels like, for once. Not gonna lie, I do wish that Fire Emblem had more levels where you fought enemy units that were on a similar level to your own. My second favorite level in Awakening is the Deadlord chapter, where you you fight 13 tough enemy units that are almost on par with your own one-man armies, and they wield powerful weaponry you get to steal after defeating them. It's a fun fight, and nice change of pace from cutting down hordes of enemies in previous encounters. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Because those were Kaga's favourite plot points. Mainly because they made all the test audience feel terrible. That was his objective. Apparently, Barbarossa was not enough. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Yeah, exactly. Now, this does raise the question of how Guenchaos didn't see Katri duking it out with his dear deformed dragon. You'd think that would've been the perfect occasion to kidnap her, ring and all. Probably should've brought it up back then, but it didn't occur to me. The best explanation I could think of was that he was more focused on calming down his "dear deformed dragon", and didn't want to do anything to upset her again. He may have thought that attacking/kidnapping Katri right then and there may have caused another ruckus, and he didn't want that. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: There goes the Hawkwing, wrathful as ever... I have been called a cinnamon roll and bloodthirsty more than once at this point. I don't know what to think about that... 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: To be fair, Lionheart was probably about to ask Holmes what the hell that was when he recognized the dance. That's what I'm thinking, too. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Hwahahahahah... Lionheart's too much of a great guy to do that. He'd probably just awkwardly thank him and then send him away quickly, like back when Holmes more or less openly told him that he wanted him to become king so he could go and ask him for favors. Lionheart tries to give Holmes a chance, and the latter ruins it every time. Wonder if it'll become routine for Lionheart sometime. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Gee, I don't know, maybe because he came to you with some perfectly reasonable concerns - he wasn't even panicking or anything, he was handling the situation excellently! - and you mocked him and the girl that's been kidnapped by a lardo in green. I swear, one punch was not enough. It was enough to knock him out, but not to knock the stupidity out of him! At this point, I wonder if One Punch Man would be able to knock Holmes stupidity out of him. Granted, Holmes would probably die, because One Punch Man, but the question still remains. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Nice. Now that's just the most beautiful thing to cut to. People discussing disturbing events as if they were simple business actions is always disgusting. As hilarious as the memes are, it's a reason I don't think I could really ever get into games like Dwarf Fortress or Crusader Kings. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Wait a sec... Those clothes there... They're Juni's, I'm sure of it! He just left her clothes lying around!? ...I don't want to think about that... ...Do meat grinders exist in the medieval ages of anime? 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Like last time, about all that happens to Morbid Dick is that he gets punched across the face a couple times and then Xeno just leaves him there. Astounding. To make it fair on Xeno, I'm going to say that he punched the slaver in the face enough times that by the end of his barrage, both sides were covered in blood, and it was hard to tell if the Slaver was dead or unconscious. 7 minutes ago, eclipse said: In my headcanon, Xeno slit the slaver's throat. Possibly after jumping to conclusions as to what the slaver did to Juni. I approve of this headcanon. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Oh, for the love of-- WHY DID KAGA DO THIS FIRST?!?!? AND WHY DID INTELLIGENT SYSTEMS STEAL THE COSTUME IDEA OF ALL THINGS?!?!? 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: To be completely honest, I'd be more worried if she didn't panic and strike at him without thinking. Yeah, that's at least something I can compliment this scene for. All sides are freaked out by what happened. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...oh my goodness why-- how is this guy such a humongous dick...?! Something about how much of an absolute fucking moron Holmes can be is quite impressive to me. How does he manage to button up his cape every morning? Come to think about it, why's he even wearing that thing to begin with? I thought he wasn't very noble-like! The only point I can reasonably say in Holmes favor is that explaining what the slaver intended for Juni may have been better to do after she had calmed down from the experience. That's really it though, and I'm wondering how we've beared with Holmes as the protagonist so far. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I think you took it a little too far. Thanks, Detective Shigen. I think I realized that on my own. Y'know? Given his reaction to Plum earlier, I'm kind of curious if Holmes is just disillusioned to the point of desensitization about those kind of issues in the world. It wouldn't surprise me if that ended up being the case, but it does raise questions about how much shit he's seen to become that way. Also, detectives exist in this world at this time period. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: That was something. If Attrom was alive and was able to recruit Lyria, we could've gotten a different scene by having Juni refuse the milk. Believe it or not, it's even worse. Like, ten times worse. I think we're better off with this. On the one hand, I am morbidly curious about how Lyria's could be worse than Yuri's. On the other hand, I really do not want to know. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...oh, no, it's Bishop Law and Order! That means the lore dump is upon us! NOOOOOOOOO MY WRISTSSSSSSS! I see this is why the update took five days. And I just got done writing the rough draft to the final project in my Technical Writing class a few days ago, so I am not looking forward to this. Pardon me if I skim. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Isn't it a bit redundant to say "at last" right after "finally"? I know it's nitpicking, but I want to delay this as much as possible... He's trying to hit the word limit. And I still haven't recovered from having to speed write that rough draft. I pretty much completed an assignment in three days that we were supposed to be doing over the course of a month. This is the busiest college semester I've had since I started, and I still am surprised I've finished a few of my classes. I can only hope that Avengers: Endgame is a suitable reward when it's all over. And then I have to find a job. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: And ask away he shall... brace for impact, we are about to enter the Text Zone. Not gonna lie, I had no idea what I was reading when I first went through this, so I left the lets play, took a small break, and then came back and read nothing but the lore dump. I'm glad I did. Would have missed so many details otherwise. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Prepare your favourite exposition music. I recommend this. It's not very expositiony, but it'll break the monotony, and since it's the best thing I've listened to this month, I want this man to get views. I see that your comment was the first one to pop up. Nice. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Indeed, though you're skipping a bit ahead. It was under Kalbazan that the traditions of the Cult shifted to their modern forms. For instance, their high priest would ritually sacrifice non-believers to appease Gerxel. Unhappy with these changes, the majority of the Zoan population called Kalbazan a fraud, saying that he wasn't truly their god. The dissenters were condemned as heretics, and Kalbazan enslaved them as he had the Reevans and the western indigenous peoples. After that, a good number of them stopped believing in Gerxel altogether. Carluon was a child of such lineage, born into slavery under the Empire's lash. He was among the few who dared resist the unconquerable might of Kalbazan. His rebellion was brave, but in vain. In the end, Carluon fell, broken and beaten before the power of the black dragon. In his final moments, he prayed in tears. He called out to heaven, begging to any god that might be listening, to lend him the strength to stand back up and face Gerxel. And to his surprise, his prayer was answered. The Goddess Yutona, daughter of the Earth Mother Miradona, appeared before him and drove away Kalbazan with her sacred light. For the next three years, they fought side-by-side against the Zoa Empire. The Goddess blessed him with her power, and gave his blade the power to slay the unholy god-emperor. Ah, yes, the mythical Sword of Carluon, which struck down Gerxel in one blow... See, I could've put some images here to break the monotony, but one, Imgbox likes to throw me ads of toe fungus healing miracles and the images are the most disgusting things ever, so I want to avoid opening images; and two - this is the real reason -, I want you to appreciate the magnificence of this. Look at it, people. Gaze upon the wall of text, and let it sink in that WE AREN'T EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH YET. Oh man. This reminds me of why I had a hard time playing Planescape: Torment consistently. The writing is spectacular, and it's one of the few games where your choices in dialogue actually do something, but you can spend minutes getting loads of lore and philosophical musings with a seemingly random bystander, and that can add up quickly. It, along with Knights of the Old Republic 2, are the only two videogames I can think of that have physically worn me out by playing, just because of how much you have to read and how many choices you have to make.. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Meanwhile, on the upper deck... I greatly enjoyed these scenes. They gave a much needed laugh, broke up the exposition, and made for a hilarious backgound event to Holmes and Law talking. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Wait... Reeve was a daughter of Yutona and Carluon? Then, was the Kingdom of Reeve named after the Republic of Reeve or Reeve, Princess of Reeve? Was Reeve, the princess, named after the Kingdom of Reeve-- the Republic of Reeve, sorry, or after Reeve, the Jugudi word for "compassionate"? And when did they come around to calling the river of Reeve "Great Reeve River"? Scratch that, I think it was "Great River Reeve"... if the Great River Reeve was given that name before the Kingdom of Reeve came to existance, that just adds another problem to the pile. Was the Kingdom of Reeve named after the Great Reeve River, the Republic of Reeve, the princess Reeve of Reeve, or Reeve, the Jugudi word for "compassionate"? Ah, back in the days when the Earth was new and humans were scattered across the earth. They named places over whether God spoke to them there, when the people did something noteworthy, or called the town useless if a leader thought it was. And then they started naming things after themselves, and then named things scientifically, and sometimes the name is just because it sounds cool. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: and then vanished into the depths of Mt. Cielo. ...oh, in the name of-- Mount Sky!? Are you fucking kidding me now!?! Not a bad name for a mountain. Not as awesome as Olympus or Everest, but it still gives the sense of being tall. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: WHALE! Only thing that would have made this better is if Superfriends Aquaman showed up. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Mm... What's with all the ruckus up there...? Shouldn't you go check out what's going on, Shigen? Holmes'll take care of it... only thing I want to be checking out right now is you... Oh, Shigen... Um... I don't know whether or not I want to ask this kind of relationship between them is canon.... 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ANOTHER WHALE! HOW MANY WHALES ARE THERE IN THIS SEA!? A lot. Especially since whaling isn't illegal yet. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Right, I'm back. Sorry, Garo. Hey, you did well! Boat's not upside down or anything! You might as well take over, so I can just laze around all day! Heh heh heh... Holmes considering the boat being rightside up to be a success answers a lot of questions. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Can you ever expect hatred to make sense? When someone disobeys a rule put in place for extremely good reason, and when they predictably lead to the consequences that the rule was intended to prevent. Not to mention being mad at injustice. Although that might be considered anger rather than hatred. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I have a hard time telling if this is supposed to be a reference to a real life civilization, or is just saying that that happens consistently throughout history. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: That was actually pretty badass. And I think we didn't know this already! What an accomplishment! Go back and read that, people. Don't skip this particular paragraph. Thank you dearly for pointing this out. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Morse the Troll... pffhwahahah. And they actually tried to continue using the tower? Can you imagine, trying to move prisoners to their cells, and every two steps they have to maneuver to dodge a priest's robe? Hahahah, no wonder they gave up. It's actually a pretty common tactic for nonviolent protesters to be an annoyance to prove a point. The good kind of annoyance, that is. 8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Yup. It ends on that line. After paragraphs upon paragraphs of endless exposition, Law says that sentence and they shut up for the remainder of the voyage. Not even a "thanks for the history lesson, Gramps!" or anything like that. It just stops without fanfare. So, from what I can remember reading through all that... Shigens people were warriors. They once attacked this republic. The republic struck back and won. A guy went on a journey to gain their gods favor. He became a dragon and conquered the continent. One hero rose up and fought him, but needed the gods help. He got a magic sword and slew the beast, and then ruled for a while. Something something kingdom divided into four with guardian dragons at the helm. Chaos man revived a cult and ignored cries of surrender (or did that happen earlier?). An island called Yr used to be used for prisoners, but then became temple grounds after a sage moved in and Yoda lead a rebellion before becoming a Jedi Master in a galaxy far far away. Holmes father was involved with that somehow. Then the events that kicked off the game occurred. I probably missed something, but that's what comes to the top of my head after reading the exposition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punished Dayni Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I recall it being FF7 so many years ago. Ah, to go back to the good ol' days. They weren't good for me, mind, but I liked youtube's format better. It was often that I saw 7 or 6 mentioned years ago. I've actually played most every numbered one that isn't an MMO. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: It's among the many unused portraits included in the folder Aethin generously posted a few updates ago. Same as the blonde guy from the slaver sequence a couple updates back. I would recommend that you take a look at that collection, some of the portraits are so good, it's a wonder why they weren't included instead of some crap like Footballman. As for the sprite itself, I have no idea what its original purpose might've been, but she had that Ismaire look of despair going for her and ever-so-slightly resembled Lentzenheimer, so I decided to use her as his mom in the flashback. Well, that's now a question: Why is that one unused? I mean come on, it's one of the best out of this game! 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Shigen doesn't want to give up. He believes he can make something out of Holmes. A futile effort. Dammit Shigen. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: She has warp. That alone makes her better than Shigen. I mean, did she have it when he broke her out? 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I mean, he did let her go ride The Roger after she had made a vow of chastity. Is he the coolest grandpa or what? Eisenbach is a man who was live and let live. Guenchaos then took advantage of it to kill him. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I don't know much about drinks, so... probably? Also, she looks rather small, probably can't take much. It's at least 60%, so yeah that'd be pretty high. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: It's a reference to his FE12 epilogue line, actually. I mean, I don't pretend I'd remember that. Just thought it sounded off. Sure, Wrys would have better intentions than most old men, but still. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Garo's probably just confused. That doesn't mean he shouldn't stop the lights. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: It's a really awkward situation. My headcanon is that he was about to reprimand Holmes, but then he recognized the dance. I feel like this is missing something. Him smacking Holmes afterwards, that's it! 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: To be honest, I expected more anger over the cliffhanger. People took it surprisingly well, tho! Well, I'm just hoping for a nuclear blast on him. 8 hours ago, Mad-manakete said: To be frank, (which isn't my name but anyways), I just finished a run of VII and am now playing through VI. In my honest opinion I prefer IV over both (not even nostalgia speaking because my first was X, as the snes games weren't released over here and I didn't own a PS1). Though I don't have V (yet) and I'm intending to play IX next (bought the Switch re-release just recently). I wanted to do a run of as many of the first VIII games back to back (though out of order) as a kind of prep for playing IX because I understand it's full of nods to the other games and I want to understand as many as possible, and see how many I missed after. That said I might hold off on VIII until after IX. That one I got not too long after X... and some things really bugged me there. Enough I can't say I've ever seen the ending. The first I played at all was 6, but I never finished it on the PS1 as the disc broke. I only really started on finishing titles when I got 3 and 4 on the DS (I recommend the DS version for both btw, 4 especially if you haven't played it). I don't claim to have finished them all (2 can die in a hole, I've yet to finish 7's third disk, I didn't get into 8, I haven't played 10 in close to a decade and I was on the mountain path last I played, 12's system was also offputting and 13 is unfortunate. 15 is untouched) but I would say only 7 and 10 have a chance of getting in the top three for me (which is 9, 6 (Question mark there actually) and 4). 5 is alright (I do like its gameplay, but it's the most limited story wise of the SNES titles), but I do think it's style of class progression is what many RPGs have taken from to their benefit (Hell, look at 3 Houses!) Also, yes on 9. I am pretty confident in saying that I think it's the best. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Gee, I don't know, maybe because he came to you with some perfectly reasonable concerns - he wasn't even panicking or anything, he was handling the situation excellently! - and you mocked him and the girl that's been kidnapped by a lardo in green. I swear, one punch was not enough. It was enough to knock him out, but not to knock the stupidity out of him! Holmes doesn't really think much about others. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Wait a sec... Those clothes there... They're Juni's, I'm sure of it! He just left her clothes lying around!? Why would he worry about the clothes, he likely thought she was alone. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Like last time, about all that happens to Morbid Dick is that he gets punched across the face a couple times and then Xeno just leaves him there. Astounding. Xeno, you were almost the character I liked the most in Tearring. You had one job. Calling all dragons now. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I said, get away! To be completely honest, I'd be more worried if she didn't panic and strike at him without thinking. An understandable need for catharsis there. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...oh my goodness why-- how is this guy such a humongous dick...?! Something about how much of an absolute fucking moron Holmes can be is quite impressive to me. How does he manage to button up his cape every morning? Come to think about it, why's he even wearing that thing to begin with? I thought he wasn't very noble-like! 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Wait, Xeno...! Oh, gee, he's mad at you now? Who could've possibly foreseen this? Clearly not Holmes. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I see... As long as everything's all right. Good thing Shigen's here to fix everything off-screen. I hope Shigen actually killed Mr. Bordello. Somebody has to. It would put Shigen in the lofty tier of favourites for characters. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: That was something. If Attrom was alive and was able to recruit Lyria, we could've gotten a different scene by having Juni refuse the milk. Believe it or not, it's even worse. Like, ten times worse. I think we're better off with this. You know, I won't ask. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Perfect, second Lee! You can hear the joy there. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I'm no fighter, but I hope my knowledge of history and the like will be of use to you. D'aww... No, he just wants to deliver exposition. ....And the disappointment. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: But the Jugudi were in constant conflict with one of the indigenous peoples of Lieberia, the Zoans, who lived in the mountain valleys to the north. The Zoans were intensely devout followers of Gerxel, a warrior-god who they believed would defend them against any foe. Gerxel was their champion, and the invincible defender of their sacred tradition. Almost sounds like a nice guy... Pretty different from the modern Gerxel that the Cult believes in, isn't it? In some ways, in others, no. Gerxel's power was described as a cleansing wildfire that would burn away any impurities, that is, heretics and infidels. So Gerxel cleansed the world for the Zoans. Well, at least we know that they were no small dreamers. Also these parallels seem to be surprisingly Jewish. Chosen people to a promised land having to suffer invaders and imprisonment for their faith and wishing for God's intervention in their misery. While of course attempting a fight back as well. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: This will actually be relevant in the future. In a way that I have never personally witnessed, myself, but will make very sure to this time around. It'd be a shame for you all to miss... that. Oh yes..... That. I'll shut up. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: The remaining Zoans fled into the wastelands north of their ancestral home, their hearts burning with the spirit of vengeance. The young chieftan of the Zoans, a man named Kalbazan, left on a sacred pilgrimage to the great Altar of Gerxel in order to beg for the vindication of his people... ...and Gerxel granted him his terrible power. And thus one guy caused all hell and became a dragon. Also, they were burning with the spirit of vengeance? Maybe Ghost Rider would have been a better choice. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: You're quite right. A number of myths have been written trying to explain why he took the form of a dragon. Some claim Gerxel was the fallen brother of the Goddess Yutona, for instance. Regardless, Kalbazan, in the name of Gerxel, brought the Republic of Reeve to ruin in just under a year. With no one in the world left to oppose him, Kalbazan conquered the entirety of Lieberia. For the next century, he ruled the land as head of the Zoan Empire. Galle must have been offended that someone ripped him off. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Indeed, though you're skipping a bit ahead. It was under Kalbazan that the traditions of the Cult shifted to their modern forms. For instance, their high priest would ritually sacrifice non-believers to appease Gerxel. Unhappy with these changes, the majority of the Zoan population called Kalbazan a fraud, saying that he wasn't truly their god. The dissenters were condemned as heretics, and Kalbazan enslaved them as he had the Reevans and the western indigenous peoples. After that, a good number of them stopped believing in Gerxel altogether. Carluon was a child of such lineage, born into slavery under the Empire's lash. He was among the few who dared resist the unconquerable might of Kalbazan. His rebellion was brave, but in vain. In the end, Carluon fell, broken and beaten before the power of the black dragon. In his final moments, he prayed in tears. He called out to heaven, begging to any god that might be listening, to lend him the strength to stand back up and face Gerxel. And to his surprise, his prayer was answered. The Goddess Yutona, daughter of the Earth Mother Miradona, appeared before him and drove away Kalbazan with her sacred light. For the next three years, they fought side-by-side against the Zoa Empire. The Goddess blessed him with her power, and gave his blade the power to slay the unholy god-emperor. Though to be fair, this time the Loptyrians actually had two factions that were more even than one guy against everyone else in the cult. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: See, I could've put some images here to break the monotony, but one, Imgbox likes to throw me ads of toe fungus healing miracles and the images are the most disgusting things ever, so I want to avoid opening images; and two - this is the real reason -, I want you to appreciate the magnificence of this. Look at it, people. Gaze upon the wall of text, and let it sink in that WE AREN'T EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH YET. WE AREN'T EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH YET. *Screams internally. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: OF COURSE! When he's not on a ship, he asks Law to stop because he needs to man the ship that doesn't exist, and when he's on a ship, he asks him to continue because he no longer needs to man the ship, even though it is now and not before that the ship needs to be manned! WHY!? WHY IS THIS THE MAIN GUY AND NOT SENNET!!?? Because Kaga dammit. I wonder why, maybe he was the first protagonist Kaga finished working on. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIDUNWANNADIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Wait, why isn't Maerchen on the wheel? HE'S DONE THIS BEFORE! Maybe Holmes orders him to do it so that he can exposit with Law. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Are you still in doubt about that? It's historical fact that Carluon did marry, and that his Empress was named Yutona. You've seen the power of their lineage with your own eyes in the Guardian Dragons, who were born to protect humanity from evil. Carluon and Yutona ruled over Lieberant, or as you called it, the Holy Empire of Reeve, which spanned almost all of the continent. In the forty years he ruled the dominion, he upheld virtues of equality and charity, and he was venerated across the land. He passed away at the age of sixty, and his passing was mourned by all. Psch. Bitch, please. Eugen is that same age, and instead of dying, he's giving Holmes a lesson of the school of hard knocks. Eugen > TRS Anri. Eugen hasn't taken a dragon to the everything though. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Wait... Reeve was a daughter of Yutona and Carluon? Then, was the Kingdom of Reeve named after the Republic of Reeve or Reeve, Princess of Reeve? Was Reeve, the princess, named after the Kingdom of Reeve-- the Republic of Reeve, sorry, or after Reeve, the Jugudi word for "compassionate"? And when did they come around to calling the river of Reeve "Great Reeve River"? Scratch that, I think it was "Great River Reeve"... if the Great River Reeve was given that name before the Kingdom of Reeve came to existance, that just adds another problem to the pile. Was the Kingdom of Reeve named after the Great Reeve River, the Republic of Reeve, the princess Reeve of Reeve, or Reeve, the Jugudi word for "compassionate"? ...G-GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! Mayhaps Holmes's question was more necessary than I gave him credit for... I mean, it could be River > Kingdom > Princess > Republic. But that's just confusing. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Prosperity continued for a decade or so before the new republic began to crumble. With Carluon and Yutona gone, the sentiment of unity that had kept the Empire together was fading away, and the ambition and greed of the senators tore the land apart. Tensions between the different ethnic groups of Lieberant reached a new high. The most powerful of the senators organized themselves into four factions, each around one of the four daughters of Carluon. After a short but devastating civil war, the Empire was shattered into pieces. The priestesses were forced to serve as figureheads of the new kingdoms that bore their names. That sounds like a situation where everyone involved should have not been asses, but alas. Regardless, that's why it's not a happy One Kingdom. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Mm... What's with all the ruckus up there...? Shouldn't you go check out what's going on, Shigen? Holmes'll take care of it... only thing I want to be checking out right now is you... I mean, I'm more surprised they are able to get anywhere with all the boat rocking. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ANOTHER WHALE! HOW MANY WHALES ARE THERE IN THIS SEA!? WHALE WHALE WHALE, AN OCEAN'S WORTH OF WHALE HELL. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: As you can imagine, the bloodlines of the four priestesses and those of the new monarchs have been intermarried for generations. Katri, for instance, is a distant descendant of Lady Salia in both her maternal and her paternal lines. Things were largely peaceful for centuries after the separation of Lieberant into the four kingdoms, save for a few hiccups like the breakup of Old Canaan into the Zoan Lands. But in the last century, conflict has arisen anew between the kingdoms, as if to release tension that'd been bottled up for ages. I believe the spark that began it all was the border dispute between Leda and Salia that led to the War of Destruction. The war lasted for seven grueling years, until that fateful day in Leda... To put it mildly, the Goddess did not protec after that event. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: ...hey, what's with all the stares? Sea's so calm, it looks like I could just hop off the boat and take a walk! Can't have been that hard being helsman for five minutes, right? ...... I will not put that image up about Holmes and five minutes again. It's too much bait. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Oh, goodness, and this is the longest section yet... I don't think I can handle this today. Calling it a day. Ruben from one day later here. Let's resume the history lesson. There was so much exposition the sun set and rose before it was done. This is madness. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: I believe that there is some sort of connection between Kranion and the Pontiff. This is only conjecture, as most of the Ledan archives were destroyed forty years ago, but I have my sources. "Sources," huh...? What, the gossipers of a ruined kindgom? Where's he finding these mad ones? 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Yes, Holmes. Maybe he was paying attention to the script. Remember, he called Kranion "my love" in chapter 21? We've already established that. Why we are going back and pretending that there is a mystery here at all is beyond me. Ah, yeah. What's that? Can you hear that? It's the sound of something we already know. Guenchaos called her Tita back then, for crying out loud!!! Did Holmes know? 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: He forced that on his own daughter? What a horrible thing to do... So if Tita was from the royal family, what about the clerics of the Earth Shrine? Whatever happened to them? According to Sage Eisenbach, the only one of the main line who survived Kranion's massacre was the Sage-in-Waiting... His name was Guenchaos. Back then, he and Eisenbach were studying together under the White Sage Morse. Guenchaos is the last Ledan Cleric. That sounds like he should be a protagonist. Maybe in another universe he was the protagonist of a game. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: But then Gotoh saw the darkness within his heart, and decided to grant Aura to Miloah instead of Gharnef, causing him to murder Miloah in a fit of jealous rage and-- Wait... that's not right. Honestly, it might be right. The lines blurred on inspiration and ripoff a while back. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Can you ever expect hatred to make sense? Yes, I can. My hatred for Gotoh and Horsemen is perfectly sensical. Gotoh put me through Anri's way for no goddamn reason, and a Horseman raided my village out of nowhere! Bullshit, all of it, fuck, balderdash and blistering barnacles! Also yes. I wouldn't use those as examples, but absolutely yes. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Though I will say, the focus of everyone's hatred has shifted over the years. Loosely speaking, there are five ethnic groups that people tend to identify with. There are the Reevans, descendants of the Jugudi colonists from ancient times; the Salians, descended from the western indigenous cultures of the central steppes and forests; the Canaanites, descended from Zoans who sided with Carluon in the days of the Empire; the Ledans and Welltese, who are really just a mixture of the previous three... These four groups share their belief in the goddess Yutona and their reverence for Carluon and his descendants. The common tongue they share, as well as centuries of intermarriage between them, have all but nullified their differences. But the last group, the pure-blooded Zoans, have kept their proud, ancient culture alive and remained separate from the others. The majority of them still believe in Gerxel, though usually following very different, more peaceful traditions than the Cult's, akin to the original worship of Gerxel. It's like there's kind of ethnic groups, but it never really mattered here. Man it's depressing how little that happened in history, though it's not like the Zoans would want to be on the same side as those who sided against Kalbazan, because they still held some faith in Gerxel despite the whole heresy thing. 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: You would have them abandon their culture? Their hope that they've held on to and kept alive throughout centuries of oppression? Imagine yourself being held prisoner on Yr simply for your bloodline, with no escape. Would you not hold on to anything at all that would give you hope of salvation? This is sounding a little too Old Testament. When will Deliver Us start blaring in the background? 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Goodness, what are they teaching you children these days? That was where the Kingdom of Reeve deported most of their Zoans until recently. About twenty-five years ago, an insurrection broke out, and the prisoners of Yr rose up under the leadership of Swordmaster Yoda. King Badoum sent many expeditions to reclaim the isle, but none could best Yoda's rebels. Eventually, he ordered Duke Gramud and your father to take care of it personally. But instead of subjugating the Islse, they met peacefully with Yoda and pledged their support to his cause. The King was furious, but there was nothing he could do against his greatest commanders. That's why Yr was an officially autonomous province before the Empire conquered Reeve. That first sentence, just great. La's just done with this stupidity. And of course Holmes and Runan's parents were just like "Well, we might as well call this crap out. Won't get a better chance." 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: It wasn't always a temple. The conditions on the Isle that Yoda rebelled against were nothing compared to what it used to be like. The tower used to be the Reevan outpost on the Isle, where they oversaw the forced labor of the Zoans, who would build the naval ships for the kingdom. In the year 547, Sage Morse came to the island and claimed the tower as his own. None of the Reevan soldiers dared touch him, and eventually he and his clerics interfered so much with regular operations that the military ended up abandoning the place. Ever since then, it was Morse's own temple. Morse the Troll... pffhwahahah. And they actually tried to continue using the tower? Can you imagine, trying to move prisoners to their cells, and every two steps they have to maneuver to dodge a priest's robe? Hahahah, no wonder they gave up. So he was such a distraction to their use of the tower they just threw up their hands and let him have it? So he just interfered indirectly until then? So Morse was like this all day: 10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said: Yup. It ends on that line. After paragraphs upon paragraphs of endless exposition, Law says that sentence and they shut up for the remainder of the voyage. Not even a "thanks for the history lesson, Gramps!" or anything like that. It just stops without fanfare. This reminds me of a particular TV show, I won't say the name to avoid spoilers, but its ending is pretty famous. You see, the protagonist and his family are just eating at a restaurant, and there's a song playing, and then all of sudden it just DON'T STOP- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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