screenshot Chaos reigns when I take the reins! - Let's play Tear Ring saga, Ironman mode, while being terrible at Fire Emblem!

[Hawkwing]

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Honestly, I think it deserves a remake more than 6. Archanea's got the DS games which are awesome, Gaiden has Echoes and, for all of its flaws, 6 stands on its own all right. Same goes for 5, I think, though I haven't played it, of course, so I can't really say. 4's the one that I'd say needs a remake the most out of the old FEs.

As much as I agree that Genealogy of the Holy war could use a remake, I do believe that a Binding Blade one will come first. FE6, from what I can tell, is a very "rough around the edges" kind of game, and if you asked people what they would fix/improve/change, you would get a pretty consistent list. Meanwhile, if you asked that same question to people who have played FE4, there would be disagreements over things like if the large maps should be kept, or if they should be broken down into smaller section, if the pawn shop should return, and if it does what changes could be made, how holy blood and weapons should be rebalanced, and so on. While some solutions work better than others, there's not a "this will please everyone" game they could make, so I can see why IS would perfer taking the safe route at the moment.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

As do I, but to be frank, her theme's pretty good.

Ah, so it's Touhou.

I have no idea why that game is so memetic. Or anything about the game besides it's a bullet hell, the music is great, it's difficult, and I think it was made by one guy.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...It's ironic how Hawkwing disappeared just in time to miss this. Hope he's fine... guess college's being a bitch again.

I didn't really. I can still look at what happens on the site without logging in. It was finals week last week, so that's why I wasn't there to comment on it. Graduation was on Sunday, and yesterday was busy, so that's why I've been late on commenting.

The death was great, by the way. Not entirely what I was expecting, but I was keeping my hopes at a reasonable level. And as mentioned earlier...

On how gory it was.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I have no fondness for the solid substance known as "sand". According to my understanding, it is quite unpleasant to the touch, such touch resulting in my skin's color turning into an ugly shade of red and stinging slightly. Not to mention that this substance finds ways to reach any and all places within this realm and others.

This is one of the best alterations of the meme I have seen thus far.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Building a ton of walls on the side, but not covering the flank on the desert. That's an... interesting thought process for defense building.

It oddly doesn't account for the attackers coming in from the south, though. Or from the east.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Rishel takes care of the closest Archer.

Avengers: Endgame spoilers, but I Rishel's casting reminds me of this:

Spoiler

Also, nice to see that eruption summons a volcano. That's pretty cool.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I didn't know that backstabs dealt additional damage in this game!

The backflip animation is awesome, even if I am uncomfortable with the still on the last picture.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Jesus what's with these frames? I managed to catch the one frame where Sunflame doesn't look completely stupid. Instead, it looks... no, it doesn't "look", it's literally a mushroom cloud! The conclusion I draw from this is, Rishel did Pearl Harbor.

Are we sure Rishel isn't actually secretly wielding a Fat Man off-screen?

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

I don't know what this music is supposed to reference. Other than a kid is wearing roller blades while wielding a bent bat.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Speaking of, her nearly deadly encounter with the ballista has left her with a deep hunger for blood. Here you go, girl. Feast upon this helpless prey!

For some reason, it looks like the archer is desperately looking at the wyvern for any mercy, while Wally is closing his eyes and holding his head in shame over what is rider is doing.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, this is the one. No, I didn't fuck up any steps. Here's what's happening: we aren't done with the requirements yet. After aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall that we've been doing all game, Kreiss can't just waltz into that house and get his girl. Nope, that's not enough for ol' Shouzou. Before that, we need to...

...face and defeat the Condor Squad. And not just face and defeat the Condor Squad, either: as if that wasn't enough of a challenge already, we need to kill Mark - Mark in particular - with Kreiss. Yep. No other way to do it.

...What?

So... they introduce these guys as if they're going to be this consistent enemy you will face later.... and instead you kill them in the same chapter they appear.

Well, that's a waste of a cool name.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

For Kreiss and Letena to reunite, we must have Kreiss murder the man who saved Letena. Thank you, Kaga. I love you too.

Of course. Because with Kaga, if it doesn't involve sending underage girls to slavers, it requires killing okay people to make the player feel bad.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Here's the plottwist I was talking about earlier: Zepp moves. Bet you didn't expect that from a generic General boss. I hope you didn't have your squishy Mages start wearing him down from a distance!

Well, not the biggest twist out there, but considering how ambiguous it is about whether or not bosses can move in past games, I can see how this could catch someone off guard. And as you mention later, it has some good reasoning for why the boss would move.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Actually, it's not looming overhead, its head is lower than Norton's. Also, it's not a condor, it's a wyvern. Sorry to ruin your dramatic moment, Simon.

The wyverns in this game just have a "lets get this over with" look to them.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...ah, yeah. These guys are actually - gasp! - well programmed! Andrew, Philip, Thomas and Mark will invariably follow Simon wherever he goes. There is no swaying them. Perhaps if they had a guaranteed kill, but I don't think even then they'd move.

That's actually pretty impressive for a foe you'll only fight once. Got to hand that attention to detail to them.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well... here's the deal: the Condor Squad have a five-way support. There is no way of seeing this coming. I suppose you could notice that their critrate is ridiculously high when checking their stats, but who scrutinizes statscreens that throughoutly?

And this is why Echoes limited the number of CBA Supports.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...what!? DAMN!

With that portrait...

The only thing I can think of is that the arrow broke in the process of going through his head, so that's why there's nothing on the other side. Needless to say, the inside of his head probably doesn't look that pretty.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Count on it.

Yeah, I wouldn't know what to do with the blood affects of a person being killed by being blown on. Especially since wind magic would do more internal than external damage.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

HADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!

KABOOOOOOOOOOOM! That's one more down!

Lee's Hadouken turning into a woman blowing is a weird yet oddly awesome mental image.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That... would've been so easy to avoid... Mark, all you had to do was drop your weapon and say "wait, Sir Kreiss! You know a girl named Letena, right!?"! Oh, well. I suppose the poor man was just too loyal to Simon and his peers... all of whom are dead by now...

...fuck me, we're the villains here, aren't we.

Eyup.

I no loner think the journey to get Kreiss laid was worth it, now that blood has been spilled over it.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Dude don't just say it like that! It always pisses me off when this sort of thing happens in fiction. Somebody will be forced against their will to kill someone, or do something else that will hurt a person, and when they're confronted by that person, instead of taking their time to explain the whole situation in detail, they'll just go "yeah it was me I killed x / did y thing". C'mon! Kreiss, are you braindead? Tell her Mark wouldn't stand down, damnit! Tell her he could've easily stopped the fight by mentioning her name, but that he didn't because he wanted to die just like his comrades! Don't leave it at that, she'll be mad at you!

Or when the person tries to explain, but the other won't listen. A similar cliche that's just as aggravating.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Why yes, she is a complete waste of time. She's basically a better version of Enteh / Plum / Lyria. She's outclassed by Lee, Renee, and her replacement if you don't do the Letena event. That one has lower stats, growths, and no personal staff or the hidden skill, but guess what: she has Summon at base and comes with a Golem staff. This makes her a lot more useful than Letena, going into the next few chapters. Also, she's easier to get, but that goes without saying.

Oh, and just in case you forgot, Letena will have exactly one chapter of availability, because the event where she leaves takes place in the route split, and the Tower of Morse is only accessible before the route split. I've heard it is possible to revive units for the ending, but I have no idea how it works (for all I know it might just revive a random unit and be done with it), and it might break the ending. And even in her one chapter of existance, the only thing she'll do is give my units more avoid (which, admittedly, is going to be extremely good - you'll see why in due time) and be a worse Lee.

I've already locked myself out of half the healers of the game, but of course, I had to go and decide that the best course of action is to just say "fuck it, I want one less healer!". If Lee and Mel die, I'll be completely screwed, and it'll be my fault. Expect dishonorable resets if it ever comes to that, because, hey, I'd like to beat the game, thank you very much.

So... why was she added into the game, again?

I am legitimately curious what the thought process behind the whole thing was. Amazing what a single turn of events can do.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'm trying to remember if this game used the word "shit" before.

If this is the first time, it's oddly appropriate.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You'd better, Narcus! Now go make yourself useful and look for treasure in the sands around here. Lots of merchant caravans pass through this part of the desert, so there's bound to be a good deal of merchandise scattered about by the sandstorms.

This entire scene does a good job at showcasing what he love (and a little of what we "hate") about Eugen.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahah... on top of massacring people and revelling in their suffering, Sasha is now going to take all of her victims' belongings for herself after the deed is done.

This is it, people. I have officially turned Sasha into an awful, irredeemable monster of a girl. And I LOVE it! Hwahahahahahahah!

That wyvern is going to have a hard time getting a new job after this.

Although he should probably get some therapy first.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Heck yeah, turn 54. Am I good or what?

Considering it's a desert chapter with pretty much two objectives, this isn't as surprising.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Um...

Yeah, I won't comment beyond asking why this portrait exists.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Once again, a good story segment.

[The Roger The Paladin]

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Part 49 - Insert obvious Trump joke here.

I'm running out of ideas for these titles:

Feeling a bit up against the wall when coming up with these?

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Honestly, I think it deserves a remake more than 6. Archanea's got the DS games which are awesome, Gaiden has Echoes and, for all of its flaws, 6 stands on its own all right. Same goes for 5, I think, though I haven't played it, of course, so I can't really say. 4's the one that I'd say needs a remake the most out of the old FEs.

Yeah, but if they never remake 6, I'm not getting a physical copy. Then again I have that same problem with 12.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

This is like people crying over Mother 3 not getting released. What's the point? Given the quality of the TRS translation, I think we can count on Aethin to make Berwick a great experience.

I never did like emulation as much as physical copies.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The one with blue people was rather stupid.

By "coincidence" it also happened to almost completely duplicate an existing comic's plot. Mind, I didn't like the comic either, but I've got it because it featured in an anthology with stuff I did like. The only way the two could be more similar is if the aliens in Firekind were blue and part of the film from the middle ended up being after the end due to an editing mistake. Mind you it could be complete coincidence. There was another incident where a writer by the name of Garth Ennis had pitched a Sgt. Rock story to DC, only for it to have to be cancelled when mid-production of said comic Saving Private Ryan was released and had the exact same plot.... albeit without a long established DC character. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firekind

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

O N L Y   A   S I T H   D E A L S   I N   A B S O L U T E S

Ever realize what Sith is an anagram for? Not "this". The other one.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You barely even are tsundere most of the time. In just your last reply you praised my skills as a writer! All I did was grab a character that was already awful and up the awfulness a notch or two! You're no Arlen, if anything, you're more of a foulmouthed Merric! I'm the Arlen here, with all my passive-aggressiveness against you and Arkis.

So who is the yandere? Do we have a thread yandere that's going to threaten death to all if the thread ever ends?

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

I have no fondness for the solid substance known as "sand". According to my understanding, it is quite unpleasant to the touch, such touch resulting in my skin's color turning into an ugly shade of red and stinging slightly. Not to mention that this substance finds ways to reach any and all places within this realm and others.

Like one's boots... in the middle of a desert. Forcing you to get your underlings to remove the sand from your boots while in said desert.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Dude, you put waaaay too much thought into this. How am I supposed to fight these arguments?

...AHA! Maerchen forgot how to ship due to the shock from his bollocks being removed by Kreiss! What do you have to say now!?

Sure why not. He has PTSD and being on a ship triggers it because of the fact that's how he lost his balls in the first place. We'll go with that. Even fits what we have with him panicking more than anyone else.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He's just a solid villain, we can agree on that much. I honestly don't know why I like him so much, he's not groundbreaking or anything, but I just love him. Probably has to do with his amazing boss fight.

I don't believe it's truly possible to do a villain that hasn't been done elsewhere in some aspect before. I do however, believe that if you can pull off a villain that isn't entirely original with enough style, it doesn't matter if aspects of them are similar to someone else. After all, it's a known fact Darth Vader was partially based off Doctor Doom, and according to Stan Lee, the idea of Dr. Doom came from Sherlock Holmes nemesis Professor Moriarty (not so much the armor part, but the perpetual nemesis). The Joker was based off the protagonist of the Novel/Movie "The Man Who Laughs", albeit with the twist of being a villain instead of a tormented man. Two-Face, and for that matter the Hulk (though not a villain) both drew inspiration from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Every given example here is a character drawing inspiration from another character, and creating something distinct enough to become iconic in their own right. In that aspect, it's why I don't mind the reuse of archetypes in Fire Emblem, because ultimately it doesn't matter how many characters fill a similar role, it's how they're handled that makes the difference.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...the heck?

Yeah, I definitely have Final Fantasy VI on the brain at the moment. Given I only have Kefka's Tower to go the references should end after this.

 

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That gives me an idea...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spoiler: Holmes proceeds to mouth off even if you apologize with something about "I'm sorry that you're so lame" and gets decked no matter the choice. There is no end to this game because Holmes is incapable of not being a douchebag/the developers didn't program one. You need to start over from the beginning and will not work out until your fourth playthrough that all options have the game over punch.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Fire. He's being burnt alive. Remember that time you joked about how he was going to "burn in the fires of hell" (among other things) and I played along and pretended that was exactly it? Well... you weren't so far off the mark, actually.

I just wanted to say something about him turning into a fine red mist honestly.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The conclusion I draw from this is, Rishel did Pearl Harbor.

Pretty sure it was Hiroshima and Nagasaki that got mushroom clouds in retaliation for Pearl Harbor. Pearl Harbor was just normal bombs.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Okily dokily. Norton continues his arduous trek through the sand. He doesn't like sand. You know the rest.

Shame he doesn't have anyone to clean his boots.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! EEEEHEHEHEHEH, YEAH! LOVELY! Lovely.

Zepp got Zapped. Should have stayed in your fort.

 

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...or that! That's also fantastic. I knew I could count on you, Norton.

Realizing that Norton is far too sturdy an opponent, Andrew decides to go after Kreiss instead.

Spoiler

Gosh it disturbs foes to see you Norton,
And not just because of your head.
Enemies just tend to flee you Norton,
Because you just fill them with dread.
Though you've got a goomba like face,
It's not that they fear but your might,
You've been shot at and stabbed but it's gone to waste,
Because you're this game's greatest knight.

No one evades like Norton,
Stops raids like Norton,
No one makes his foes into shades like Norton.

There's no one in Wellt so titanic,
He's got inhuman strength.
He makes all his enemies panic,
Because meeting him shortens their lives' length.

No one's tough as Norton,
Takes no guff like Norton.
No one makes his foes scream "Enough" like Norton.

His damage output is intimidating.
My what a knight that Norton.

Let out a shout. Let out a scream.
He's an enemy's nightmare and a player's dream.

No one blocks like Norton,
No one shocks like Norton,
No one is solid as a rock like Norton

There's no one as ready for battle.
As you see he overkills using wrath.
Slaughters opponents like cattle.
Every fight against him ends in a bloodbath.

No one takes hits like Norton,
Smashes golems to bits like Norton,
In an arena match nobody crits like Norton.

He's especially good at decapitating.
Arena Gold for Norton.

When he was young Norton wrestled a bull,
To test his sinews and win a bet.
Now that he's grown he takes on a full,
Hundred men without breaking a sweat.

No one baits like Norton,
Patiently waits like Norton,
No one leaves the villains in dire straits like Norton.

He uses a magic shield in all of his baiting.

My what a knight, Noooooorton.

 

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...what!? DAMN!

This was my actual reaction. Well, actually it was an impressed gasp and a genuine belly laugh, but eh, details. I botched up the math and didn't realize that she did, indeed, destroy Thomas with a single arrow. In fact, looking back now, she had a few points of damage to spare!

Leonie, man. Just... words cannot express how brutally great she is. Mintz, I'm glad you saved her from Pavlov. 'Twould have been such a shame, to see all that potential go to waste...

Man... I'm beginning to wonder if Pavlov would've needed saving from her. I mean, she was tied up and weaponless and hadn't grown yet, but still. After this...

 

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

HADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!

KABOOOOOOOOOOOM! That's one more down!

That was devastingLee overpowered and fatalLee wounded the guy who looked like Disney's HercuLees. For there can be only one.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ohohohohohohohohohohohohohoh, man! Norton, you're doing an absolutely amazing job today! Really proving your mettle here. Suck on that, Billford fanboys!

See Norton song again.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

This guy's the blandest of the Condor Squad. As such, he gets the blandest death quote.

So he's basically Vyland except a wyvern rider.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

In all seriousness, I was NOT expecting this to go so well. I was fully steeling myself to suffer a casualty or two here. My heart was seriously racing as I prepared to fight Simon and his goons! But not only did nobody die, it also went way, waaaay better than I thought it would. Like, even beyond the guaranteed kills that were Leonie and Sylphid, had Norton not pulled off those unbelievable dodges, he would've been within crit death range when wearing Andrew down. That would've been unpleasant, but he defied the RNGoddess herself, and avoided all damage.

Norton just finds new ways to impress me every day. And I, for one, am perfectly fine with that. Keep it up, you magnificent bastard! Hahahahah!

The hand of the Goddess doth protec indeed. Though it's funny I was waiting for an excuse to use that Norton song and this chapter provided it in earnest.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, yeah. She joins after that. Possibly the most awkward recruitment conversation in the history of FE and FE-likes. Unless you count GhebFE, but it'd be a mistake to count GhebFE for anything.

Not even "largest boobs on a protagonist"?

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Poor guy. He knows he's fucked.

This is the face of a man who knows he is about to suffer.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Imagine if he served him chilly sauce now. Just to be a dick. It'd be so awesome!

Personally I'd go with a carolina reaper myself. It wouldn't look like water, but damn it'd be funny.

8 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

Are we sure Rishel isn't actually secretly wielding a Fat Man off-screen?

Well, it's preferable over him wielding a "Little Boy"

[Punished Dayni]

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Part 49 - Insert obvious Trump joke here.

You know what, that's too obvious. (Especially when he's been trying to build a wall far closer to home as well.)

I know someone who had an even better wall idea.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, I know the story, the basics of it, anyway, but the gameplay looks even less appealing than Gaiden's. The only thing keeping me from playing Thracia at this point is the translation (and that's going to change soon), but four's a different story. I played a little of it a while back and I really didn't enjoy it.

I honestly am confused as to why looking at it on the surface it could be awful.

It is a game that can really turn to mass tedium if you're not careful however, that I'll agree. That's mostly due to the size of maps and the distances between objectives and how a bunch of your units get quickly left behind. This can be averted with planning, but definitely not entirely. I think it's a great experience planning out for future events in the game honestly (And yes, that includes items because I actually don't dislike hey way that's handled).

Now, that doesn't mean it should have become the series standard. But then again, a series standard would be a detriment to FE as a whole. You can't say you've played them all after one playthrough of any title in the series, a positive imo.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Honestly, I think it deserves a remake more than 6. Archanea's got the DS games which are awesome, Gaiden has Echoes and, for all of its flaws, 6 stands on its own all right. Same goes for 5, I think, though I haven't played it, of course, so I can't really say. 4's the one that I'd say needs a remake the most out of the old FEs.

I'd love to see a combi remake for Genealogy and Thracia honestly. It sounds like it'd be an interesting experience and I think that'd be true regardless of what chances are made.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I guess so. In that case, what can you tell me about Maclir? No googling!

Sounds like a lore chracter (And that's because Mac Lir is a mythic figure of the Fir Bolg (Not to be confused with the lance (from FE or the Ulster Cycle))

(I did look it up (Not on google though. :P). He's Kris's gramps? Wait, where does it even come up? I'm more surprised he even has a name. Man that's a bit disappointing, that the name got wasted on a guy we'll never get to know beyond Kris's gramps.)

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This is like people crying over Mother 3 not getting released. What's the point? Given the quality of the TRS translation, I think we can count on Aethin to make Berwick a great experience.

Some of us can't emulate PS2 games.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hmmm...

I think I'll do it anyway!

Ahem.

O N L Y   A   S I T H   D E A L S   I N   A B S O L U T E S

Something Obi-Wan clearly didn't take seriously with his behaviour and words.

You underestimate my power.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Come now, "look how they've massacred my boy" is one of the most famous lines from The Godfather!

I need to finish it and 2.

I know, what the duck?

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I wish I knew, it's a pretty famous place.

I thought it was outside Granada for some reason.

It had been a long time since I went though.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...

...why did I even... oh, me... why can't I...?

I've been playing FE for years, and I still do this sort of thing. Why can't I improve? What is wrong with my brains? I'm two chapters away from beating FE12 Maniac, at this point I should be past the point of doing this crap, at least. I wanna call myself an above average FE player, damnit, but how can I do that when there's substantial proof of the opposite in this very forum? Three threads worth of evidence, in fact! Why do I do this to myself...

Least Sasha knew she was needed for this run.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This is suspicious. I'll spoil it right now: it's a secret shop. I'll check it out later. Right now, we've other matters to attend to.

Why is a little boy the guard?

He'll get knocked against the wall if someone didn't care.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Zepp is your generic General boss. Lots of defense and HP, good strength, a cool weapon, and not much else. He should be easy.

There is a really nasty surprise that can really screw you over if you aren't expecting it, however. I won't say it's bullshit, because the game hints at it, but let's see how many of you can figure it out before it happens.

I see he missed the memo and got dressed for a Phoenix Wright case.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Excuse me...? Isn't this the one?

Yes, this is the one. No, I didn't fuck up any steps. Here's what's happening: we aren't done with the requirements yet. After aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall that we've been doing all game, Kreiss can't just waltz into that house and get his girl. Nope, that's not enough for ol' Shouzou. Before that, we need to...

Intern: How do you want to handle this recruitment?

Kaga: Well, I've decided that there needs to be another step, Xavier was too easy.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...face and defeat the Condor Squad. And not just face and defeat the Condor Squad, either: as if that wasn't enough of a challenge already, we need to kill Mark - Mark in particular - with Kreiss. Yep. No other way to do it.

For Kreiss and Letena to reunite, we must have Kreiss murder the man who saved Letena. Thank you, Kaga. I love you too.

Ah, but I'm sure it won't be that hard. Let's see their stats.

Intern: I'm sorry, what the fuck?

Kaga: Isn't it brilliant?

Intern: It's just so ridiculous in story!

Kaga: It's already in the game.

Okay, that's terrible. Like, I knid of feel like it'd work in story if he could be captured. But that's a complication anyways! Like, it'd be fine on its own but as part of the Letenna event it's just absurd.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, they're strong, but it seems to me like some magic will do the trick, and Norton should be able to easily lure them closer. I am sure there will be no ugly mechanics involved that I've no way of knowing unless I look them up on the internet. Not a chance. At all.

On a related note, I like how Mark is the weakest of the Condor Squad. Not by a huge margin, to be sure, but it's nice to see that Kaga had at least a semblance of mercy.

That sounds like some bullshit is coming.

Reinforcements?

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Here's the plottwist I was talking about earlier: Zepp moves. Bet you didn't expect that from a generic General boss. I hope you didn't have your squishy Mages start wearing him down from a distance!

I don't think that this is a cheap move, however, because the game actually hints at this. You know how they spent all that time depicting him as a man who's absolutely desperate for a fight? Of course he'd leave his fort unprotected just so he can get to swing his blade, that's what his character's all about! This is the sort of thing that tends to fly right over my head, but that I come to understand and respect in retrospect.

It's pretty funny that he's willing to jeopardise his mission to kill a bitch.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Unlike the other nasty surprise regarding bosses from this chapter that we'll get to enjoy later on.

Oooh, ominous!

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Isn't that a bad thing to happen to your blade?

Imagine if his weapon had 50 kills on it already?

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

THIS is the best we've got!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! EEEEHEHEHEHEH, YEAH! LOVELY! Lovely.

Esther: Taste my lightning, fuc-

Raffin: Esther, language!

Esther: Why are you here brother?

Raffin: I needed something to do.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Is this the good, or the bad level? Oh, well. He's massively defense screwed, having gained a whopping 1 point of defense over the course of 18 levels, with a 25% growth. Thankfully, we will soon obtain the means to fix this issue.

Least he hasn't 11 speed at endgame.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...or that! That's also fantastic. I knew I could count on you, Norton.

Apparently Norton doesn't dislike sand.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Realizing that Norton is far too sturdy an opponent, Andrew decides to go after Kreiss instead.

Why is his critrate so much higher than Simon's? He has the same weapon, and his skill is lower! What's that all about? I mean, Kreiss'd be able to just barely take a critical hit to the face, but it wouldn't be good, I'm going to need everyone in peak fighting condition.

Especially him.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

What this amounts to is that now, we face five really strong Wyvern Knights. Let's begin working on-- wait... hold the phone!

What the hell is this!? Why is his crit so high all of sudden!

Well... here's the deal: the Condor Squad have a five-way support. There is no way of seeing this coming. I suppose you could notice that their critrate is ridiculously high when checking their stats, but who scrutinizes statscreens that throughoutly?

That is some high end bullshit. No warning? Really?

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This was my actual reaction. Well, actually it was an impressed gasp and a genuine belly laugh, but eh, details. I botched up the math and didn't realize that she did, indeed, destroy Thomas with a single arrow. In fact, looking back now, she had a few points of damage to spare!

Leonie, man. Just... words cannot express how brutally great she is. Mintz, I'm glad you saved her from Pavlov. 'Twould have been such a shame, to see all that potential go to waste...

Leonie: Almost ready to take potshots at dragons.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sylph looms overhead because she knows your end is nigh! Hwehehehehehehahahahahah!

I mean, this isn't how summoning works in Tearring, but it should.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

KABOOOOOOOOOOOM! That's one more down!

Wait, he can use it? Neat.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes! YES!! IT'S GOOD! IT'S GONE WELL! EVERYTHING WORKED MY WAY! IT'S...

It's exactly like Chapter Douglas from last LP, come to think about it. Both were big chapters with multiple objectives, a hateable blond and a secret shop, that required the team to split up. They both featured a horribly close call involving a long ranged attack, but other than that, everything went smoothly, against all odds.

In all seriousness, I was NOT expecting this to go so well. I was fully steeling myself to suffer a casualty or two here. My heart was seriously racing as I prepared to fight Simon and his goons! But not only did nobody die, it also went way, waaaay better than I thought it would. Like, even beyond the guaranteed kills that were Leonie and Sylphid, had Norton not pulled off those unbelievable dodges, he would've been within crit death range when wearing Andrew down. That would've been unpleasant, but he defied the RNGoddess herself, and avoided all damage.

Norton just finds new ways to impress me every day. And I, for one, am perfectly fine with that. Keep it up, you magnificent bastard! Hahahahah!

Once again, expectations flipped on their head. Like Claude on the boxart for Three Houses.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wow, Mark could have avoided this.

Maybe a combat should cut off abruptly because of something like this being said, maybe Mark'd be alive.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

At least he doesn't want to be one of the bad guys.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That... would've been so easy to avoid... Mark, all you had to do was drop your weapon and say "wait, Sir Kreiss! You know a girl named Letena, right!?"! Oh, well. I suppose the poor man was just too loyal to Simon and his peers... all of whom are dead by now...

...fuck me, we're the villains here, aren't we.

I mean, this is sad and all but there's no real villains here.

Lentzenhiemer's inside though.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Dude don't just say it like that! It always pisses me off when this sort of thing happens in fiction. Somebody will be forced against their will to kill someone, or do something else that will hurt a person, and when they're confronted by that person, instead of taking their time to explain the whole situation in detail, they'll just go "yeah it was me I killed x / did y thing". C'mon! Kreiss, are you braindead? Tell her Mark wouldn't stand down, damnit! Tell her he could've easily stopped the fight by mentioning her name, but that he didn't because he wanted to die just like his comrades! Don't leave it at that, she'll be mad at you!

Kaga dammit.

This kind of stuff really should be avoided.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, yeah. She joins after that. Possibly the most awkward recruitment conversation in the history of FE and FE-likes. Unless you count GhebFE, but it'd be a mistake to count GhebFE for anything.

The Letenna event was a mistake.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

HP 35% - Magic 45% - Skill 15% - Speed 40% - Defense 5% - Strength 0% - Luck 40% - Mastery 40%

Letena is a Cleric. She has the same base magic than Lee, which is nice. She has the same defensive stats as Plum, which is not nice. She starts with Paragon, which helps her get to the level where she learns Summon. She also has a hidden ability, which grants 10% avoid to every friendly unit on the board. For no reason.

Really, 10% avoid for the whole map? That's ridiculous!

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It cancels out enemy magic for a turn, but what the game doesn't tell you is that it operates on Thracia rules. A.K.A. it can miss. Not very useful, frankly.

What's the formula though?

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Why yes, she is a complete waste of time. She's basically a better version of Enteh / Plum / Lyria. She's outclassed by Lee, Renee, and her replacement if you don't do the Letena event. That one has lower stats, growths, and no personal staff or the hidden skill, but guess what: she has Summon at base and comes with a Golem staff. This makes her a lot more useful than Letena, going into the next few chapters. Also, she's easier to get, but that goes without saying.

Oh, and just in case you forgot, Letena will have exactly one chapter of availability, because the event where she leaves takes place in the route split, and the Tower of Morse is only accessible before the route split. I've heard it is possible to revive units for the ending, but I have no idea how it works (for all I know it might just revive a random unit and be done with it), and it might break the ending. And even in her one chapter of existance, the only thing she'll do is give my units more avoid (which, admittedly, is going to be extremely good - you'll see why in due time) and be a worse Lee.

I've already locked myself out of half the healers of the game, but of course, I had to go and decide that the best course of action is to just say "fuck it, I want one less healer!". If Lee and Mel die, I'll be completely screwed, and it'll be my fault. Expect dishonorable resets if it ever comes to that, because, hey, I'd like to beat the game, thank you very much.

.....So you have no way to resolve this? What? Can someone confirm this? Can you kill Kreiss then? I am now just ocnfused.

I'd also argue it's shit design to have two of those healers be locked behind one character for the ironman.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

>Your assignment is due in 3 hours.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Isn't life funny, Narcus? This is the second time we've found you scrounging aroudn in the desert!

Well, as you were. Let's be on our way, Lord Runan. We've no business with this man.

Where's the fire and guillotines Eugen?

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Y-Yes, sir... I won't do it ever again, Sir Eugen!

Hmph... if you say so. Here, take it. It's water.

Fuck me that's an impressively specific way to remind thieves not to fuck with you Eugen.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Really, Narcus? Do you really think it's a good idea to say that in front of him? What, do you want him to grind your head into the sand?

No tickets for Narcus. :P

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Here's Narcus. No more surprises. This time around, he's truly joined us, for good and for ever.

HP 50% - Strength 20% - Skill 15% - Speed 25% - Defense 15% - Magic 5% - Luck 25% - Mastery 25%

Narcus is Xane, except worse. You could have him copy Sierra or something silly like that, that's fun. Aside from that, he grabs treasure in this chapter, and helps with more treasure in the next (well, one of the next. More on that later). Really, Thief/10. There's nothing much else to him.

Least he's a thief.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Every statbooster, an occult book, and a Canto scroll! Absolutely amazing! Hmm... this does remind me, however. We haven't yet given Kreiss his own scroll! Let's correct that, shall we?

That's a lot of statups.

Who'll be downing them like beers on the bar?

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahah... on top of massacring people and revelling in their suffering, Sasha is now going to take all of her victims' belongings for herself after the deed is done.

This is it, people. I have officially turned Sasha into an awful, irredeemable monster of a girl. And I LOVE it! Hwahahahahahahah!

Won't her hit be awful now though?

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Bwahahahahahahahahahahah! This is too much fun! A shame she won't be able to support Kate anymore, since from here on out, everybody will be so scared of her, their arms will tremble too much and they won't be able to aim, but oh well, affordable losses. It's usually best to give this skill to a flier, so the mugger can just fly away from the main army and avoid inconveniencing them. Which is exactly what Sasha will be doing the rest of the game.

Frau could have done that....... :P

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I've got two forts to seize. Each fort will take me to a different chapter. So how will I manage this?

Here's my idea: I'm going to be playing through both of them. They'll both be LP canon, but I will continue with the chapter 26B file (that is the indoor version), unless it goes so awfully that I just cannot do it. See, the loot you can get in chapter 26B is so absurdly good, compared to what you get out of 26A, that if everything goes well, there'll be no reason for me to go back to the other file. So let's pray the plan I've already got in mind works.

The problem here is Holmes. I know, as usual. I can't go play Holmes's chapter until I beat both of these chapters. I still don't know exactly how I'll handle it. I've got a few ideas, though. Let's hope I don't make a mess of the saves and end up overwriting stuff.

And with that, I am done for today. Next time, we go beat up Praeva. Tune in next time for TRS Boat Chapter #4! Goodbye, and farewell, all!

Okay, this will end... well.

Also, how'll they both be canon? Replicate's not in this game.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, that's nice.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Why mostly clerics?

What does that say about cleric training?

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, he killed Mr Bordello.

Does that mean LP!Ruben's now one of my favourites? Shit, I didn't think of that.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And away they go!

12 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

(Well, I graduated last Sunday, actually, and I got to see Avengers: Engame as a graduation reward. I would have posted that day, but then a rather serious Discord conversation popped up, and by the time that was over, it was late and I headed off to bed.)

Good job man!

12 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

Both is the correct answer.

Okay, that'll do?

12 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

It seemed that first and foremost Dreamworks wanted to make a movie that was respectful and accurate to the original story, and were sincere in their efforts. They contacted over a hundred religious leaders to make sue the movie was authentic, and that mindset paid off big time.

Yeah, it's one of those things that tell you legit care was taken for the work. Even I have to admit Lion King might be lesser than it. Might.

Now if only Shrek the third got similar treatment.

[BrightBow]

1 hour ago, Dayni said:

Won't her hit be awful now though?

No. The Hit and Avoid penalty only affects allies.

[Asmont Osborne]

17 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'm two chapters away from beating FE12 Maniac

Yeah, about that... my phone died. The one where I was on Chapter 23 of my first run of FE12. The one where Cord capped Defense (mind you, with a 25% growth at best, without any statboosters or RNG manipulation involved, outside of his very last level because I wanted that cap). The one where I found out that General Norne is pretty much the best unit ever. That phone died. (Not) Funnily enough, my first phone was reset by my father while I was beating chapter 23 of FE6 (a run where I RNG abused like a maniac to get a good Sophia, totally worth it).

[Pengaius]

On 07/05/2019 at 9:22 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

you're more of a foulmouthed Merric!

Grumble grumble sexcalibur grumble

On 07/05/2019 at 9:22 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I have no fondness for the solid substance known as "sand". According to my understanding, it is quite unpleasant to the touch, such touch resulting in my skin's color turning into an ugly shade of red and stinging slightly. Not to mention that this substance finds ways to reach any and all places within this realm and others.

The powder made from rock that goes by the name "sand" is something which I bear some slight ill will towards. Contact with it finds it to be rough and harsh in texture as well as acting as an irritant to the skin, corroding the surface tissue, that is not all however, as “sand" additionally works its way into occupying all space in the full given area, henceforth known as ”everywhere"

On 07/05/2019 at 9:22 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Who needs a hero, tho? Ruben, as in, me but from the plot? Who at this point barely is me at all... Margaret? I'm already-- I mean, plot!Ruben's already there to be the hero in this case. The slaver? Why would anyone want to be a hero to that guy?

TBH I was just thinking about shrek

 

The only thing that last custom scene was missing is our the clone guy standing in the wreckage saying he's found something very useful or Desecho's hand shooting out of the ground. 

[Saint Rubenio]

Part 50 - Super-special secret stealth attack!

Replies (there's many of them):

Spoiler

On 7/5/2019 at 10:37 PM, eclipse said:

Letena just can't catch a break, can she?

Nope! And she isn't even getting any now that she's joined, either.

I guess she can be miserable next to Plum or something.

Heh... yeah... more like, next to Attrom and Juliattisnacordst. We'll get to that later.

 

On 7/5/2019 at 11:00 PM, Hawkwing said:

You are winner!

In all seriousness, congratz. Now take some days to relax.

(Well, I graduated last Sunday, actually, and I got to see Avengers: Engame as a graduation reward. I would have posted that day, but then a rather serious Discord conversation popped up, and by the time that was over, it was late and I headed off to bed.)

Damn you, how dare you? The thread from the guy who can't play FE to save his life comes first, you ungrateful bastard!

I stared at that link for about thirty seconds before doing anything.

I'm no idea what I'm watching, except leeks.

It doesn't matter, I've made you paranoid, and that is what counts.

"Never give up. Trust your instincts."

How could I forget?! Noooooo! My emperor... I've failed you!

Depends heavily on the situation, so possibly. I can ask God for forgiveness if I do.

"Forgive me, O God!", as you're smashing somebody's head in with a book. Now that's a mental image.

Well, it doesn't take a whole lot of time to do a flip, in all fairness. I still shouldn't have stood in front of them, though.

What does the time it takes to do a flip have to do with anything? It doesn't explain why you were standing in front of the flipping person!

Good point. Very good point.

Yeah...

It seems like the gaiden mechanic isn't a bad idea in and of itself, but then made a lot of decisions that did it no favors. Shadow Dragon was built with ironmanning in mind with how many characters you get, replacements are a thing if you have less than the necessary amount, and the number of characters that need to be dead to unlock them is way to low for even a first time ironmanner.

15 living units means that, even just for Athena, you need to lose 13 units. Nearly half the available cast at the time. And that's just Athena. Ymir requires, like, 40 units to be sacrificed!

Ahah, always fun to see this one. Means I am winner, usually.

Considering I gained a mild fear of meat cleavers after playing NEO Scavenger, it's a fair enough replacement.

Seriously, though, I managed to get dogmen so scared they wanted to retreat when using the meat cleaver. It's that scary of a weapon.

I see...

In a totally unrelated note, I recommend that you play Mafia 2! There's no reason I'm saying this now, none at all.

...Y'know? I was originally going to link the ending to God of War 3 (where Kratos beats Zeus to death with his bare hands in first person) as an example of what Xeno could do to the slaver, but decided against it because it was a little excessive.

In this thread? No such thing as "excessive", please!

But know that you mentioned that he has both a rope and a sword, I can't get the thought out of my head that he would combine the two like an adventure game protagonist, and make a ranged weapon out of it.

He'd get a ranged sword, but he'd only use it to throw the sword over a pit to cut a rope holding a crate, resulting in the crate dropping to the ground and breaking. Inside the crate, there'd be a key. Xeno would then have to go on a fetch quest to gather 5 different items to make one of those extendable pincer things, so he could grab the key and open a door on the other side of the world.

...adventure games were crap, all things considered.

Oh

I had a feeling I should have brought up that I was a little confused about what Holmes was talking about. I originally thought that Xeno just dropped a bombshell that Juni barely escaped being a prostitute when she wasn't mentally in the place to hear that.

This situation is messed up no matter how you cut it.

It's terrible, and Holmes did not help. At all.

That... sounds uncomfortably close to real life tactics used by human traffickers. Offering jobs with appealing benefits without falling into the "too good to be true" warning. Telling a kid that they'll help them be a star is a more obvious trap than most examples, but it's not entirely out there.

To be fair, Lyria's pretty dumb. I could see her falling for it like she does if the event happens.

I think it will take some time to gather my full thoughts on the movie, but it is an awesome movie. People aren't joking when they say the finale is some of the best comic book action put to film, and that Marvel might need to take a break from movie-making for a while, because they're not going to top this for quite a while. Things won't be the same in the future, yet they have a lot of room on how to proceed.. The beginning is slow, though, even if it is for understandable reasons.

That's more or less what I've heard.

I suppose that was a knee jerk reaction. I fall into the "What's your business is your business, but I don't want to hear about it" category.

Mm, I see.

It must be awkward for you to be a player of the 3DS FEs. Did you avoid S-supporting at all costs?

I thought that was where I would get lost.

I can't blame you, that was around paragraph 12 of the Law Bible.

It's a passing grade. I'll take it.

I dunno how it works in 'Murica (at least I've been guessing you're from the US for a while now), since it seems there's at least a dozen different systems there, but here in Spain, a 5/10 is a passing grade. 7's actually pretty good. Solid B, could be better, but it's worth being happy about it.

Late to the joke, but piracy privateering in action!

Finally!

Just like the witches in Gaiden/SoV!

Except the playable Witch doesn't randomly turn into a Mage in this game. And I love her for it.

That... is an interesting pose.

It reminds me of this, honestly:

Pfffhwahahahah, you're right actually, it does look like that.

Raquel in a nutshell.

Yes, that's more or less it. With less cape flapping and defying of the laws of physics.

...That doesn't really look like Tom, if I'm being honest. Where's his bandanna?

I mean, where's his build? Where's his yellow cloak? Why are his wristbraces red instead of black?

This game never was too good at keeping portraits and battle sprites consistent.

Ten more views since last time.

Making progress.

I don't know whether or not real life ballistas have the rope/string bounce so much after they fire.

The bolt disappearing once it hits the opponent also looks odd.

That happens with every physical projectile, and a good bunch of magic. It never does cease to look awkward.

Either Tom is so epic he can dodge with an immobile siege machine, or the enemy misjudged their sword length when swinging at something three feet in front of them. 

Let's go with the first, because Tom is awesome.

Guess if you have the ability to warp, It's hard not to abuse it.

Especially when there's no cost, no consequences, no nothing to it. She just warps.

Well, my guess was wrong. Still nice to see Margaret's still alive.

Right?

"That's some damn good writing" was my first though when I read that. Not only did this address criticisms about his role in the story earlier, this makes him even more despicable.

Everyone loved that part, it seems. I'm glad!

I'm guessing Ruben.

Yeah, that wasn't exactly a great mystery, was it.

Considering that I've watched my brother watch Minecraft: Story Mode on youtube, and one of the things things you do at the star of Season 2 is say which big choices you made in the past, and there were only one or two per episode... I see what you mean. I think the unique dialogue you get depending on the smaller choices is why people enjoy the games.

A lot of the time the smaller choices don't even result in dialogue changes. There ARE a few choices that matter here and there (like in the first season Walking Dead game, that one had a few... and I was positively shocked that Conrad could be kept alive all the way through season 3, even though he could potentially die in every single episode! Sure, he was barely there at all after chapter 1, but hey! It's somethin'!), but for the most part, Telltale is appalingly bad at the whole dynamic storytelling schtick.

In fact, as much as I love to make fun of David Cage, I'd argue he's better at this particular part. Not by a huge margin, but his games at least have... different endings, that are impacted by your actions throughout the game! Unlike Telltale's games, which do tend to have multiple endings, but they're decided by a single choice at the very end.

But to be fair, they both triumph over Life is Strange, where not only is the ending decided by a single choice at the very end, one choice completely cancels out the entire game, and the other leaves the game unresolved!

I hope this is a mutual understanding and they still work well together even if they didn't get the girl and not the more... violent... approach.

Yeah... no such luck.

And once again, you meet this guy dehydrated in a desert.

He does have a bad habit of wandering around the desert without water.

Put of curiousity, I tired looking that up.

All I got was the fact that raisins are bad for rabbits.

The more you know...

Pfffft... now isn't that ironic.

Let me guess; Eugen will glaot about having his life in his hands and that he will pay for stealing from them last time, while Runan stops him and says they have use for a thief.

Kinda, except Runan just watched the whole thing unfold, no doubt with one of his Runnysmiles on his face.

Called it!

Everyone did, more or less.

Nice attention to detail with the blood.

Thanks!

Burning to death. Heheheh. Now that's brutal.

Not as gory as I'd hoped, but then again...

I did what I could with what little I had. Besides, burning alive is one of the worst ways to die I can come up with.

Also, fitting last words.

Thank you!

Ouch. That's, uh, that's not a pretty cut.

Now that you mention it, it's pretty cringeworthy. Didn't seem like it from up close, when I was bringing it into existance...

To be continued indeed.

I think I'll say my full thoughts later, but I enjoyed this scene. Not what I was fully expecting, but it's nice to see the slaver finally get some comeuppance.

What, you were expecting more? I'm not that good an artist, you know that!

***

Sorry if I got a little lazy near the end, but I got tired of writing, and wanted to do something else, so I rushed a bit. Still recovering from writing a few papers in a short amount of time.

Hey, you don't owe me nothing, you just do what you will.

Who knows? I might go back and give more in-depth replies later.

Which you did, mainly because you realized I ninja'd you again.

LATER

And what do you know? I just miss it! Again!

I'll be honest with you here, I had a feeling this'd happen when I noticed you were online again for the first time since last Sunday just as I was giving the update the final touches.

Well, I'm tired, so I'll probably make something tomorrow.

And thanks to different timezones, both this reply and the next were posted while I was sleeping away. For me, it was always tomorrow!

 

On 7/5/2019 at 11:11 PM, BrightBow said:

Oh wow! This went crazy well. Didn't even need Amulets or anything.

You can say that again! I still cannot believe it, myself.

Didn't know that Leteena has a hidden skill. It's not mentioned anywhere on Serenes Forest's page. I guess that's what's supposed to be her big draw over Rebecca. Silence is cute and all. But at this point in the game, one turn of Silence just seems cute by comparison. I mean, Meriel can inflict eternal silence on all enemies on the map if she wants to.

I didn't know about the hidden skill, either, but it's shown in her bio from the tier list the fellows from Reddit made.

Also, people put her above Norton because recruitment difficulty cannot be taken into account. I mean... what?

Never recruited Leteena myself. I did try going for it once and I was even blessed with the most godly Kreiss who hit his defense cap super hard. I missed out on the Amulet event though, so that didn't work out.

I actually did it once, Ezekiel and all. If everything else fails, I could always pull the ending from that save file.

Also, the way that revival after the final map works is that Holmes will automatically go to the top level of the Tower of Morse and you are free to operate it as normal. So you can freely chose who you want to revive with the remaining charges of the Dakron.

Ah, well that's a load off my mind. Now I can focus on worrying about the fact that I've got Lee, Mel, and not much else.

 

On 8/5/2019 at 2:40 AM, Hawkwing said:

As much as I agree that Genealogy of the Holy war could use a remake, I do believe that a Binding Blade one will come first. FE6, from what I can tell, is a very "rough around the edges" kind of game, and if you asked people what they would fix/improve/change, you would get a pretty consistent list. Meanwhile, if you asked that same question to people who have played FE4, there would be disagreements over things like if the large maps should be kept, or if they should be broken down into smaller section, if the pawn shop should return, and if it does what changes could be made, how holy blood and weapons should be rebalanced, and so on. While some solutions work better than others, there's not a "this will please everyone" game they could make, so I can see why IS would perfer taking the safe route at the moment.

Yeah, FE6 would be easier for them to fix, and I can see it attracting more people. Heck, pretty sure I would buy it if it was released on the switch.

Ah, so it's Touhou.

That it is.

I have no idea why that game is so memetic. Or anything about the game besides it's a bullet hell, the music is great, it's difficult, and I think it was made by one guy.

ZUN's the guy's name. And I don't know much beyond that, either. Heard ZUN was looking to become a musician when he instead studied game making. That explains the stellar music.

I didn't really. I can still look at what happens on the site without logging in. It was finals week last week, so that's why I wasn't there to comment on it. Graduation was on Sunday, and yesterday was busy, so that's why I've been late on commenting.

Ah, I see. Well, good to know people've still got one eye set on me. I am important to people!

The death was great, by the way. Not entirely what I was expecting, but I was keeping my hopes at a reasonable level. And as mentioned earlier...

On how gory it was.

Aha, perfect! Thanks, then!

This is one of the best alterations of the meme I have seen thus far.

Thank you very much!

Building a ton of walls on the side, but not covering the flank on the desert. That's an... interesting thought process for defense building.

It oddly doesn't account for the attackers coming in from the south, though. Or from the east.

The desert's a natural barrier for attackers from the west, to the south there's the aforementioned desert and below that there's only the sea (yeah it doesn't make sense, does it), and to the east is Lentzenheimer.

All things considered, they were pretty well protected.

Avengers: Endgame spoilers, but I Rishel's casting reminds me of this:

  Reveal hidden contents

Pffft. Oh, goodness. Also, how is that a spoiler of anything? Oh gee, you ruined Endgame for me, a guy does a thing with his hands!

Also, nice to see that eruption summons a volcano. That's pretty cool.

TRS spells are as good-looking as ever.

The backflip animation is awesome, even if I am uncomfortable with the still on the last picture.

Ahahah, I see what you mean.

Are we sure Rishel isn't actually secretly wielding a Fat Man off-screen?

Always wondered who came up with the names for these bombs.

I don't know what this music is supposed to reference. Other than a kid is wearing roller blades while wielding a bent bat.

No reference here, actually. My intentions were quite straightforward: I panicked when this happened, so I posted the most panicky music I could think of.

Incidentally, Paranoia Agent is absolute amazing. I recommend it to everybody.

For some reason, it looks like the archer is desperately looking at the wyvern for any mercy, while Wally is closing his eyes and holding his head in shame over what is rider is doing.

Poor thing... and things are about to get even more wakward for him. He'll have to watch as Sasha rummages through her prey's pockets!

...What?

So... they introduce these guys as if they're going to be this consistent enemy you will face later.... and instead you kill them in the same chapter they appear.

Well, that's a waste of a cool name.

To be honest, I don't think it's a waste at all. This is one of the most memorable fights in the game, simply because of how tough they were. Perhaps I made it look easy, but believe me, my heart was pounding hard as I watched them approach.

Of course. Because with Kaga, if it doesn't involve sending underage girls to slavers, it requires killing okay people to make the player feel bad.

More or less, yes. These guys are optional, of course, but the south fort route is better, so...

Well, not the biggest twist out there, but considering how ambiguous it is about whether or not bosses can move in past games, I can see how this could catch someone off guard. And as you mention later, it has some good reasoning for why the boss would move.

99% of General bosses don't ever move. It would catch anyone off guard.

The wyverns in this game just have a "lets get this over with" look to them.

They do, don't they?

That's actually pretty impressive for a foe you'll only fight once. Got to hand that attention to detail to them.

It's one of the best fights in the game.

And this is why Echoes limited the number of CBA Supports.

Actually, that's old news. All the way back in the GBA games, you already could only get 5 supports. That is, one A and a B, one A and two C, two B and a C...

With that portrait...

The only thing I can think of is that the arrow broke in the process of going through his head, so that's why there's nothing on the other side. Needless to say, the inside of his head probably doesn't look that pretty.

I tried drawing the tip, but it didn't look good. Besides, I like what you described this better.

Yeah, I wouldn't know what to do with the blood affects of a person being killed by being blown on. Especially since wind magic would do more internal than external damage.

I imagine it's a "death by a thousand cuts" sort of deal.

Lee's Hadouken turning into a woman blowing is a weird yet oddly awesome mental image.

A very nice mental image, indeed. It pleeses me.

Eyup.

I no loner think the journey to get Kreiss laid was worth it, now that blood has been spilled over it.

To be honest, I was going to do it anyway, cleric or no cleric, and Kreiss didn't even kill him for Letena - heck, if he had any idea, he wouldn't have killed him!

Or when the person tries to explain, but the other won't listen. A similar cliche that's just as aggravating.

I can understand that one, if the other person is upset enough, but the one I described just grinds my gears too much. Just... why? Why won't you explain, damnit!? Why the need for such cheap drama that could be so easily avoided?

So... why was she added into the game, again?

I am legitimately curious what the thought process behind the whole thing was. Amazing what a single turn of events can do.

I... have nothing. It's there so Kaga can be a dick.

I'm trying to remember if this game used the word "shit" before.

If this is the first time, it's oddly appropriate.

Parents can eat shit. Remember that?

This entire scene does a good job at showcasing what he love (and a little of what we "hate") about Eugen.

What we love about Eugen:
Everything.

What we hate about Eugen:
Him suggesting that we deceive and betray Lionheart for no reason at all.

That wyvern is going to have a hard time getting a new job after this.

He could always write a book. "My life as a psycopath's mount". I'd buy that.

Although he should probably get some therapy first.

No doubt about that.

Considering it's a desert chapter with pretty much two objectives, this isn't as surprising.

Still probably would make some people cry.

Um...

Yeah, I won't comment beyond asking why this portrait exists.

Dunno. I just thought it was fitting for the situation. It's among the unused portraits. I guess Kaga had a more reasonable Dancer unit in mind (at least that one looks like an adult), but then he came up with the idea of making it an underaged victim of a prostitution ring.

Once again, a good story segment.

Thank you!

 

On 8/5/2019 at 11:00 AM, Mad-manakete said:

Feeling a bit up against the wall when coming up with these?

You little...!

Yeah, but if they never remake 6, I'm not getting a physical copy. Then again I have that same problem with 12.

I never did like emulation as much as physical copies.

Eh, I've only had emulation for most of my life, so I suppose that's why I don't mind it at all.

By "coincidence" it also happened to almost completely duplicate an existing comic's plot. Mind, I didn't like the comic either, but I've got it because it featured in an anthology with stuff I did like. The only way the two could be more similar is if the aliens in Firekind were blue and part of the film from the middle ended up being after the end due to an editing mistake. Mind you it could be complete coincidence. There was another incident where a writer by the name of Garth Ennis had pitched a Sgt. Rock story to DC, only for it to have to be cancelled when mid-production of said comic Saving Private Ryan was released and had the exact same plot.... albeit without a long established DC character. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firekind

Well shit. You learn something new every day.

Ever realize what Sith is an anagram for? Not "this". The other one.

...hits? What hits? The ones that Anakin took while fighting Obi?

So who is the yandere? Do we have a thread yandere that's going to threaten death to all if the thread ever ends?

Pretty sure there isn't one. Good thing, too. The thread's going to end when we finish the game. I give it a couple more months, tops.

Like one's boots... in the middle of a desert. Forcing you to get your underlings to remove the sand from your boots while in said desert.

Why an underling, tho... what's this reference that I am missing?

Sure why not. He has PTSD and being on a ship triggers it because of the fact that's how he lost his balls in the first place. We'll go with that. Even fits what we have with him panicking more than anyone else.

Good canon.

I don't believe it's truly possible to do a villain that hasn't been done elsewhere in some aspect before. I do however, believe that if you can pull off a villain that isn't entirely original with enough style, it doesn't matter if aspects of them are similar to someone else. After all, it's a known fact Darth Vader was partially based off Doctor Doom, and according to Stan Lee, the idea of Dr. Doom came from Sherlock Holmes nemesis Professor Moriarty (not so much the armor part, but the perpetual nemesis). The Joker was based off the protagonist of the Novel/Movie "The Man Who Laughs", albeit with the twist of being a villain instead of a tormented man. Two-Face, and for that matter the Hulk (though not a villain) both drew inspiration from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Every given example here is a character drawing inspiration from another character, and creating something distinct enough to become iconic in their own right. In that aspect, it's why I don't mind the reuse of archetypes in Fire Emblem, because ultimately it doesn't matter how many characters fill a similar role, it's how they're handled that makes the difference.

In all fairness, a good chunk of villains in fiction could be traced back to Moriarty, just like nearly every detective in fiction could be traced back to Holmes. Sherlock, I mean, not TRS Holmes.

...Sherlock Holmes, I mean, not Sherlock from Berwick.

Yeah, I definitely have Final Fantasy VI on the brain at the moment. Given I only have Kefka's Tower to go the references should end after this.

Oh, well.

Spoiler: Holmes proceeds to mouth off even if you apologize with something about "I'm sorry that you're so lame" and gets decked no matter the choice. There is no end to this game because Holmes is incapable of not being a douchebag/the developers didn't program one. You need to start over from the beginning and will not work out until your fourth playthrough that all options have the game over punch.

That'd be very Telltale.

I just wanted to say something about him turning into a fine red mist honestly.

I can understand that.

Pretty sure it was Hiroshima and Nagasaki that got mushroom clouds in retaliation for Pearl Harbor. Pearl Harbor was just normal bombs.

Yeah, well, excuuUUUuuuuUUUUuuuUUUUseeee me, Princess!

Shame he doesn't have anyone to clean his boots.

Again with this! Explain to me the reference now!

Zepp got Zapped. Should have stayed in your fort.

Pffwahahahah, good pun.

  Reveal hidden contents

Gosh it disturbs foes to see you Norton,
And not just because of your head.
Enemies just tend to flee you Norton,
Because you just fill them with dread.
Though you've got a goomba like face,
It's not that they fear but your might,
You've been shot at and stabbed but it's gone to waste,
Because you're this game's greatest knight.

No one evades like Norton,
Stops raids like Norton,
No one makes his foes into shades like Norton.

There's no one in Wellt so titanic,
He's got inhuman strength.
He makes all his enemies panic,
Because meeting him shortens their lives' length.

No one's tough as Norton,
Takes no guff like Norton.
No one makes his foes scream "Enough" like Norton.

His damage output is intimidating.
My what a knight that Norton.

Let out a shout. Let out a scream.
He's an enemy's nightmare and a player's dream.

No one blocks like Norton,
No one shocks like Norton,
No one is solid as a rock like Norton

There's no one as ready for battle.
As you see he overkills using wrath.
Slaughters opponents like cattle.
Every fight against him ends in a bloodbath.

No one takes hits like Norton,
Smashes golems to bits like Norton,
In an arena match nobody crits like Norton.

He's especially good at decapitating.
Arena Gold for Norton.

When he was young Norton wrestled a bull,
To test his sinews and win a bet.
Now that he's grown he takes on a full,
Hundred men without breaking a sweat.

No one baits like Norton,
Patiently waits like Norton,
No one leaves the villains in dire straits like Norton.

He uses a magic shield in all of his baiting.

My what a knight, Noooooorton.

Beautiful. 10/10. What's the original, though?

Man... I'm beginning to wonder if Pavlov would've needed saving from her. I mean, she was tied up and weaponless and hadn't grown yet, but still. After this...

Keep in mind she already had Flurry back then. She probably could've killed Pavlov really easily had she joined in that chapter.

That was devastingLee overpowered and fatalLee wounded the guy who looked like Disney's HercuLees. For there can be only one.

Now leesten here, that guy's name ain't Herculees, it's Phileep! Big difference!

See Norton song again.

Hahahahah, indeed, very much indeed!

So he's basically Vyland except a wyvern rider.

Pffftttt I laughed out loud in public when I read this. Oh my fucking God, you're completely right, he is the Vyland of this squad. Now, for the rest... Simon'd be Hardin, of course, Mark would be Roshea, he's kind enough to rescue clerics like that, Wolf would be Thomas, and I suppose the only one left for Sedgar is Philip. Honestly, Sedgar could be Andrew 2. He may be a memorable unit in SD, but unlike Roshea and Wolf, as a character, he's even blander than Vyland.

The hand of the Goddess doth protec indeed. Though it's funny I was waiting for an excuse to use that Norton song and this chapter provided it in earnest.

It certainly did, he's the unsung MVP of this chapter. He may not've killed any of the Condor Squad like Kreiss, Leonie, Lee and Meriel, but fuck me if what he did wasn't just as important as delivering the killing blows themselves.

Not even "largest boobs on a protagonist"?

For the love of God... you... just...! No! That is not something I need nor want to think about!

This is the face of a man who knows he is about to suffer.

It's his standard face, tho...

Personally I'd go with a carolina reaper myself. It wouldn't look like water, but damn it'd be funny.

O U C H

Well, it's preferable over him wielding a "Little Boy"

Seriously, these names! Who came up with 'em!?

 

On 8/5/2019 at 12:13 PM, Dayni said:

You know what, that's too obvious. (Especially when he's been trying to build a wall far closer to home as well.)

I know someone who had an even better wall idea.

...o... kay?

I honestly am confused as to why looking at it on the surface it could be awful.

Mainly, it's the horrendously outdated UI, the pitiful unit balance (Horse Emblem is something I've always taken care to avoid. It's unavoidable there), in my option terrible artstyle (seriously, for all the crap it gets, DSFE is miles ahead of "Generic Big hairdos". The only game I'd consider worse than 4 is 3), and awfully obscure mechanics.

It is a game that can really turn to mass tedium if you're not careful however, that I'll agree. That's mostly due to the size of maps and the distances between objectives and how a bunch of your units get quickly left behind. This can be averted with planning, but definitely not entirely. I think it's a great experience planning out for future events in the game honestly (And yes, that includes items because I actually don't dislike hey way that's handled).

Hey, to each their own, but I really doubt I'd enjoy FE4, myself.

Now, that doesn't mean it should have become the series standard. But then again, a series standard would be a detriment to FE as a whole. You can't say you've played them all after one playthrough of any title in the series, a positive imo.

Yeah, with all their flaws, one of FE's strengths is how unique each game is.

I'd love to see a combi remake for Genealogy and Thracia honestly. It sounds like it'd be an interesting experience and I think that'd be true regardless of what chances are made.

I wouldn't. That'd require cutting at least two thirds of Thracia, or make a 100 hour long game that'd tire everybody out. Not to mention how difficult it'd be to pull off.

Sounds like a lore chracter (And that's because Mac Lir is a mythic figure of the Fir Bolg (Not to be confused with the lance (from FE or the Ulster Cycle))

(I did look it up (Not on google though. :P). He's Kris's gramps? Wait, where does it even come up? I'm more surprised he even has a name. Man that's a bit disappointing, that the name got wasted on a guy we'll never get to know beyond Kris's gramps.)

I like all the ( ).

In all seriousness, his name is mentioned a grand total of once. Prologue 6, the first base conversation. Jagen says that Sir Maclir was once a renowned knight of Altea, and an old friend of his.

Some of us can't emulate PS2 games.

Ah, shit, right. Forgive me. I keep selfishly forgetting that not everybody has / can afford / can be bothered to get a more potent computer like mine. I also have difficulties associating Berwick, a gorgeous but still 2D game, as something that'd be difficult for anybody to run. But of course, due to emulating shenanigans, it probably wouldn't be pretty on lesser computers...

Something Obi-Wan clearly didn't take seriously with his behaviour and words.

I mean, it IS an absolute statement...

You underestimate my power.

Don't try it!

I need to finish it and 2.

I know, what the duck?

Not really, I haven't watched any of them. I know the basic storylines and the highlights, but I haven't watched them.

I thought it was outside Granada for some reason.

It had been a long time since I went though.

It's an understandable mistake, I guess.

Least Sasha knew she was needed for this run.

I swear, Sasha dying would absolutely floor my resolve. I need this game's flier shield thingy, sooner than later.

Why is a little boy the guard?

He'll get knocked against the wall if someone didn't care.

Yeah, but then he can't open the door to the secret shop, so the intruders cannot get in. Unless they force him to open it...

Yeah, this doesn't work so well, does it?

I see he missed the memo and got dressed for a Phoenix Wright case.

His clothes do look like young Edgeworth's.

Intern: How do you want to handle this recruitment?

Kaga: Well, I've decided that there needs to be another step, Xavier was too easy.

Intern: I'm sorry, what the fuck?

Kaga: Isn't it brilliant?

Intern: It's just so ridiculous in story!

Kaga: It's already in the game.

Hahahahah... probably was something like this, yeah.

Okay, that's terrible. Like, I knid of feel like it'd work in story if he could be captured. But that's a complication anyways! Like, it'd be fine on its own but as part of the Letenna event it's just absurd.

I agree, but oh well, Letena in general is just... incomprehensible.

That sounds like some bullshit is coming.

Reinforcements?

Oh, no...

It's pretty funny that he's willing to jeopardise his mission to kill a bitch.

He's pretty dumb, all right.

Oooh, ominous!

Urk...

Isn't that a bad thing to happen to your blade?

Imagine if his weapon had 50 kills on it already?

It'd no longer be a weapon!

Esther: Taste my lightning, fuc-

Raffin: Esther, language!

Esther: Why are you here brother?

Raffin: I needed something to do.

Poor Raffin must be beyond bored. He's this game's Perceval! I should find a way to write him back to Wellt...

Least he hasn't 11 speed at endgame.

Is this a reference to one of my LPs? Who had 11 speed at endgame? I'll have you know, Dougy had 14!

Anyway, 11 speed at endgame would be pretty shitty, yes.

Apparently Norton doesn't dislike sand.

He does, but he tolerates it.

Especially him.

Right.

That is some high end bullshit. No warning? Really?

Nope, nothing. You cannot see an enemy's support screen.

Leonie: Almost ready to take potshots at dragons.

Soon even dracon scales aren't going to be able to stop her!

I mean, this isn't how summoning works in Tearring, but it should.

Don't mention summoning. I'm still bitter from that situation with Maerchen and the really bad generic dark mage bossman...

Wait, he can use it? Neat.

Of course he can! Remember, Sylphid's mastery requirement is 7. Base Lee could've used it, very easily.

Once again, expectations flipped on their head. Like Claude on the boxart for Three Houses.

Same goes for me, believe me.

Wow, Mark could have avoided this.

Maybe a combat should cut off abruptly because of something like this being said, maybe Mark'd be alive.

At least he doesn't want to be one of the bad guys.

Yeah... rather certain that this dialogue doesn't affect the actual gameplay, though. Had I given him a chance to attack Kreiss, I'm pretty sure he would've done just as much damage as he would've to anybody else.

I mean, this is sad and all but there's no real villains here.

Not in this case, no.

Lentzenhiemer's inside though.

Lentzenheimer's as bad as it gets, on the other hand. He's just behind the slaverman when it comes to this game.

Kaga dammit.

This kind of stuff really should be avoided.

It always pisses me off to no end.

The Letenna event was a mistake.

Hahahaha, that was good, blistering barnacles.

Been a year since I last read these. Probably should do it again, it's about time.

Really, 10% avoid for the whole map? That's ridiculous!

A little bit, yes, but again, forced Ezekiel or one chapter of availability.

What's the formula though?

I have no idea, frankly.

.....So you have no way to resolve this? What? Can someone confirm this? Can you kill Kreiss then? I am now just ocnfused.

Nope, no way to resolve it. The problem is that, since the event takes place at the route split, killing one of them does nothing, since they'll both still be available by the time of the scene, if you revive them. Either I kill off Letena and save one use of the Dakruon for her, or I let her leave on her own at the route split and Kreiss is left forever alone.

At this point, it's mostly just a question of me wanting to get Kreiss laid.

There's still a chance that something could be done. I'll be sure to do some tests when the time comes, but I wouldn't hold my breath on it.

I'd also argue it's shit design to have two of those healers be locked behind one character for the ironman.

No question about that. It is pretty shitty.

>Your assignment is due in 3 hours.

Hahahahahah...

Where's the fire and guillotines Eugen?

He's more bark than bite, I guess.

Fuck me that's an impressively specific way to remind thieves not to fuck with you Eugen.

"Don't you dare fuck with me again, or next time we find you in the desert, I'm leaving you to die of dehydration!"

No tickets for Narcus. :P

None, quite.

Least he's a thief.

That can be useful.

That's a lot of statups.

Who'll be downing them like beers on the bar?

Runan'll be getting the defense one, no questions asked. I'll save the rest for the route split, probably.

Won't her hit be awful now though?

Nah, like Brightbow said, it does not affect her. What, you think she's bothered at all by her new power? She probably loves it!

Frau could have done that....... :P

Well, too bad I don't like Frau, then.

Okay, this will end... well.

Also, how'll they both be canon? Replicate's not in this game.

I'll describe what I'll do in more detail in the update.

I mean, that's nice.

Pretty so, yes.

Why mostly clerics?

What does that say about cleric training?

I figured it made sense, since clerics tend to be weak and helpless. Easy pickings for Mr. Bordello. Both of his playable victims are clerics, too, alongside a really scrawny little thief.

I mean, he killed Mr Bordello.

Does that mean LP!Ruben's now one of my favourites? Shit, I didn't think of that.

You sound like that's a bad thing. C'mon! Don't be a Richard!

And away they go!

I hope they'll be all right.

 

On 8/5/2019 at 1:25 PM, BrightBow said:

No. The Hit and Avoid penalty only affects allies.

I mean, if they affected her, it'd imply that she feels... regret? Disgust? Guilt? Pfhah! Please.

 

On 8/5/2019 at 3:45 PM, Goddess Serra said:

Yeah, about that... my phone died. The one where I was on Chapter 23 of my first run of FE12. The one where Cord capped Defense (mind you, with a 25% growth at best, without any statboosters or RNG manipulation involved, outside of his very last level because I wanted that cap). The one where I found out that General Norne is pretty much the best unit ever. That phone died.

Sounds like a fun run. I am truly sorry.

(Not) Funnily enough, my first phone was reset by my father while I was beating chapter 23 of FE6 (a run where I RNG abused like a maniac to get a good Sophia, totally worth it).

Why'd he even do that? Was it a mistake?

 

On 9/5/2019 at 2:34 AM, Pengaius said:

Grumble grumble sexcalibur grumble

Hahah, what?

The powder made from rock that goes by the name "sand" is something which I bear some slight ill will towards. Contact with it finds it to be rough and harsh in texture as well as acting as an irritant to the skin, corroding the surface tissue, that is not all however, as “sand" additionally works its way into occupying all space in the full given area, henceforth known as ”everywhere"

4/10, you went too overboard. I am better and winner.

TBH I was just thinking about shrek

Okay. I still fail to see the correlation, but okay.

The only thing that last custom scene was missing is our the clone guy standing in the wreckage saying he's found something very useful or Desecho's hand shooting out of the ground. 

What, you want him to live? Really? That's not a very safe opinion, in this thread. Keep in mind Hawkwing could kill you with a chair. And a Bible!

 

The update (there's only one, no more):

Spoiler

Before we leave the desert, let us see what the kid's sister is selling.

Who knows, perhaps this kid is a really amazing Mage or something and that's why he's the guard. Remember Lilina? I sure do.

Weren't you trapped in some old man's basement just a while ago? I think he liked artichokes. Anyhow, this selection isn't all that hot. We've no use for summoning staves, and while the map-wide heals are nice and all...

...why waste four grand and a half on one when we just had Sasha commit multiple war crimes at once on the enemy healers?

Well, at any rate, let's-- JESUS TURN 62 HOW DID I DO IT

Whatever. Some people were confused as to how I'll handle this. Well, here's what I'll do in detail: I'm going to combine both routes. Using the save I made here in the desert, I got myself two files, one where Runan seizes the northern fort, and another where he takes the southern one instead. Next Runan chapter will be 26A, the outdoor one, and afterwards I'll pop the B save and go through the indoor map.

I'll ommit some of the more minor scenes that could break the illusion of continuity (don't worry, I've checked, and the only scenes I'll have to remove are the least interesting ones, so there's that), and I'll be mixing up scenes from both routes (seriously, even though I like 26B's map more, some of the 26A scenes are just priceless), as well as adding some scenes of my own to tie the whole thing together. It should work well enough, I feel.

I should also clarify that I'll be playing through Holmes's chapters at the same time. I'll do this with the 26B file, so when it comes to the gameplay side of things, 26B will be canon. Deaths and all. If someone dies in 26A I'll have to get creative. Maybe I could just bench the 26A casualties forever. Y'know, as if I didn't hate myself enough as it is.

With that out of the way, let's capture the northern fort.

Eugen, you're tripping balls. They were terrible! They had all the advantages, and the only one who was ever in any sort of danger was Sasha, and that's on me, not on them! Simon's squad was ten times more difficult!

Don't forget, it was the Canaanite Army who forced us to flee Granada and head to Wellt in the first place. Their strength has not diminished since then.

I shudder to think of how powerful Prince Barker's and Prince Julius's personal forces will be...

I'd prefer to avoid fighting them, if at all possible, but that may be unavoidable.

'Tis a shame, yes. But so long as they stand between us and our Razelia, the fight must continue.

If you seize the desert fort, you instead get a scene where Runan claims he didn't go for the northern fort to avoid "inconveniencing the citizens living there". This makes no sense in hell, so I think this scene is a little better.

Also this doesn't happen in 26A, but hush...

He was here just a moment ago...

Here? I don't think the frontlines are where the bench is located...

Where has that ne'er-do-well gone off to? If he's shirking his duties again, so help me Yutona...

"Again"? This is a common occurrence? Good thing he's of no importance to the army, then.

Arkis is out in the desert, talking about how he wants to save one Lina. Last time Lina was mentioned was all the way back in Wellt, where she was established as Kreiss's sister and Arkis's bethroted. The poor girl. Also, she's in Razellia. I sure hope he's not thinking of soloing the next chapter, 'cause if he is, then he's got another thing coming.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With that, we get a scene that happens in both routes.

Julius, there you are! Father is absolutely furious! He's demanding that I arrest you and bring you to the Canaanhall! I would never, of course, but still...

Even though he's following Bahanuk's orders to remain in his good books, he still has lines that he will not cross. A most reasonable man, as always.

Forget about my troubles, Lord Brother. You just worry about yourself. Now tell me, what do you know about the rebellion in the north?

Only what I've heard from others. Apparently, it's the army of Erial, led by a boy claiming to be Lord Brother's own son. How dare they dishonor our brother's name...

You believe they're imposters?

Of course I do, and you should too. You saw the aftermath of that blaze fourteen years ago. Everything was so charred, it was nigh impossible to tell bone from wood. Just because Sennet and Neyfa's bodies weren't found doesn't mean they survived.

Lord Brother Arless searched for them for years, but it's only now, when Canaan is at its weakest, that they appear? It's all much too convenient.

Well, he's being a little too pessimistic about it, but Barker raises some fair points. Except, of course, for the part where we've seen them alive and well, but it's not like he has.

Convenient, perhaps... But not impossible. Theodora recently informed me that Resshea has joined with the northern rebellion. She says this Sennet boy is genuine.

Resshea has... But that means... Julius, you can't be serious!

I was amazed myself, too. But Theodora paid a visit to Resshea, and she confirmed with her own eyes that the boy is unmistakably Lord Brother Arless's son.

Resshea was among Sennet's forces back in the Witch Dragon's chapter, if you remember. Once again, the game's NPCs have kept themselves busy while the playable protags were off doing their own stuff.

But if that's true... Why did he hide himself until now? And why would he rebel against his home? Do you think he's being used as a figurehead to usurp the Kingdom of Canaan?

It's certainly possible... But until I hear otherwise, I will trust Resshea's judgment on this.

Of course I am, but Julius... What are we going to do about Runan? Now that you've abandoned the Zemsellians, it's only a matter of time before he makes his way here.

We'll deal with that when it comes to it.

Oh, believe you me, they will. The distance between Razellia and Reeve may not seem like much now, but it's going to be a tough journey.

In the meantime, he's doing us a favor getting rid of that disgrace Lentzenheimer.

Man, the good guys don't like him, the sympathetic bad guys don't like him, his own family didn't like him... all that's left is for even Gerxel to hate him, and he'll officially be the continent's most despised man. And it'll be a most warranted title.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Speaking of the little shitstain! Time to check out what he's doing right now.

...this isn't going to end well, is it.

Wait... That's Lina?!

Pffffhwahahahahahah! Seriously?! So you're telling me that the girl that looks exactly like Arkis, from her color scheme to her pose and her facial structure, is Kreiss's sister. Kreiss, who looks absolutely nothing like her at all. And to make matters worse, she's going to marry Arkis! Dude loves himself that much, that he'd find a girl that's a genderswapped him? No, wait, but he DIDN'T want to marry her! What the hell is this all about?! In fact, if I recall correctly, he found her to be rather insufferable! How's that for irony?

Lentzenheimer!?

And as if this whole thing wasn't already ridiculous enough, they don't make it even two steps before Lentzenheimer - not even a guard, Lentzenheimer himself - catches them in fraganti. What even was he doing out so late at night? Trying to find cheap street hookers?

Well, one thing's clear: this sure was a plan worthy of Arkis.

That's Lord of Razellia to you, scum! Ooh, what a pretty little lady. Is she your girlfriend? heheh, I know exactly what to do with you... You there, arrest this girl, too!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand you can add blackmailing to the long, long list of things that show Lentzie's a terrible human being. Also, Arkis's stupidity has reached a new low. He didn't even need to rescue Lina, you know? In 26A (well, normal 26A, of course), Lina can be found in the city, and she's just fine! Lentzie never had any quarrel with her! By needlessly trying to play the hero, Arkis didn't just doom himself, he also screwed her over!

Upon returning to the castle, Lentzenheimer encounters...

...the Royal Historian of Wellt!?

On 27/11/2018 at 10:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Who even are you?

The royal family of Wellt descends from General Sutherland the Great. Taking any action against them directly would be ruinous.

Ah, the royal historian, I see.

On 27/12/2018 at 3:06 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Goodness gracious... I told you we shouldn't have trusted him... I told you his survival was all too suspicious! I told you, Lord Chancellor! I told you!!

Shut up, you! ...w-wait! Don't do this! I... I am... I was never going to hurt your family... uh, who are they again...

How about Lieutenant Brigadier Berlin? He died out there to ensure his family's survival, and you didn't so much as mention him and the rest of the fallen in the middle of praising yourself in those pathetic little speeches of yours!

He doesn't seem to be paying any attention to me... I'll get out before someone else arrives.

It's definitely him! So this is where he disappeared to, after Codha's downfall!

Don't you think I know that, you idiot?! Calm down and return to your post!

But milord, our entire outfit is composed of just mercenaries! We're no match for Runan's elite army!

I said, calm down! This battle will be determined by wits, not by numbers or strength.

...and that changes anything because...?

A... brilliant strat--

Pfffwahahah... poor Royal Historian. He always seems to find the worst kinds of leaders to serve.

What?!

I-I mean, of course, milord! So, what is the plan?

...this scene's just pure gold, I swear.

...Come again?

And with that, Lentzenheimer's  appears on the map. Oh, boy. I sure am scared by the prospect of fighting Lentzenheimer's .

Sadly, we won't be doing that just yet. Instead...

Holmes.

Why the fancy title card?

This ship can hardly be from the same fleet as the last one, Holmes. I think the one from before might've just been a cargo shit...

Oh, so Holmes didn't even know who he was fighting last time. Great. Just great.

You sure you want to get in a fight with the actual naval fleet like this?

These Imperial types are all the same.

Cowards? The negotiations will be short?

Since when are you a patriot, Holmes? Or does the idea of having a country to call your own tingle your tiddly? Nobody in their sane minds would leave a broken pen in your care, much less the entirety of Granada!

Ah, whatever. That'll be all. Next day, we shall be taking a look at what Praeva has in store for us. Don't expect a much harder chapter than Bismarck's. Or much different, for that matter. I'll see you then. Do farewell.

Death count: Attrom
                        Juliattisnacordst
                        Sharon
                        Krishna
                        Indiana Jones

Reset count: 2 (Runan: 1 - Katri: 1)

Dullahan's done with my incompetence: 6

 

[Asmont Osborne]

30 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Why'd he even do that? Was it a mistake?

Sorta. My sister was going on holiday to Portugal and she needed a phone because she was getting hers repaired. For whatever reason, my father thought that his Nokia would be good enough for me for a week and didn't even wait for me to make a backup of the important stuff (like my Final Fantasy V save I could have saved on Cloud).

 

30 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Maybe I could just bench the 26A casualties forever. Y'know, as if I didn't hate myself enough as it is.

Well, to quote you: why would you even do that?

 

30 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lord Brother Arless searched for them for years, but it's only now, when Canaan is at its weakest, that they appear? It's all much too convenient.

What's really too convenient is that no one ever cared about finding out who supposedly killed the to-be empress and her children. As in, the emperor's daughter-in-law and grandchildren. Well, Barker's daughter (which we may or may not have already met) is (according to common in-universe knowledge) second in line for the throne after Barker himself and no one (again, in-universe) seems to care about her, ever, her father included. Guys, I hope you realize that your emperor is neither Nicholas Flamell nor Avatar Kyoshi nor Athos nor Hannah Wells nor any other extremely long-lived fictional being. Especially considering that "Canaan is at its weakest". Karyuon lived 60 years, and Bahanuke is definitely past that at this point.

 

30 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lentzenheimer!?

And as if this whole thing wasn't already ridiculous enough, they don't make it even two steps before Lentzenheimer - not even a guard, Lentzenheimer himself - catches them in fraganti. What even was he doing out so late at night? Trying to find cheap street hookers?

Well, one thing's clear: this sure was a plan worthy of Arkis.

That's Lord of Razellia to you, scum! Ooh, what a pretty little lady. Is she your girlfriend? heheh, I know exactly what to do with you... You there, arrest this girl, too!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand you can add blackmailing to the long, long list of things that show Lentzie's a terrible human being. Also, Arkis's stupidity has reached a new low. He didn't even need to rescue Lina, you know? In 26A (well, normal 26A, of course), Lina can be found in the city, and she's just fine! Lentzie never had any quarrel with her! By needlessly trying to play the hero, Arkis didn't just doom himself, he also screwed her over!

Yeah, I was about to say that he was probably looking for a hooker, but you read my mind. Before I even thought that. Telepathy, huh? How the hell can Tom Kirkman almost be removed as President of the US because he was processing his wife's death (and he got over that thanks to his brother, why does no one ever mention that Trey is low-key the best character in Designated Survivor and why does no one care about his absence from Season 3?) and Lentzenheimer (apparently next in line for ruler of the second biggest nation in Lieberia) can go around having fun with street hookers in the middle of the night? Does he kill them afterwards, like he killed his mother? What the hell, Lentzie. For real.

[BrightBow]

Even from the bench, Arkis finds a way to fuck things up.

Edited May 10, 2019 by BrightBow

[eclipse]

"We'll burn that bridge when we get there" should be Barker and Julius' motto.

[Punished Dayni]

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...o... kay?

I'm telling you, it's more sense than the wall with Mexico.

They get to form an independent nation of freewheeling capitalists that Peter Casey could assist in the rule of like all "political" businessmen that are all the rage now. It also means that the border with the North is less complicated for Brexit as only the southern parts need monitoring and thus less checks will be needed, it's perfect. Someone tell Johnson, Rees-Mogg et al. /s

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Mainly, it's the horrendously outdated UI, the pitiful unit balance (Horse Emblem is something I've always taken care to avoid. It's unavoidable there), in my option terrible artstyle (seriously, for all the crap it gets, DSFE is miles ahead of "Generic Big hairdos". The only game I'd consider worse than 4 is 3), and awfully obscure mechanics.

>Outdated UI

Okay, I'm not going to pretend that things haven't improved there and that 1995 UI isn't as good. I just don't think the gap's as far off with Genealogy versus titles that came out soon after it.

>Pitiful unit balance

Kaga era FEs are plagued with it. Mount utility is not an issue of if characters can fight as much as can they get somewhere far away, certainly bad balance there, but you can certainly try to ignore cavs (I can't for the life of me think why nobody has.....). As for the holy weapons, while you could argue "Just use the holy weapon users!" the game doesn't really allow you to get away with that and has some design behind it to prevent that. 

>Hating on the 80's hair

YOU TAKE THAT BACK

>Awfully obscure mechanics

I'm trying to figure out which obscure mechanics here: The first pairing mechanic has issues for sure, some of the skills certainly need retooling for a remake, I actually like how items and money are handled for this game specifically, Holy weapons are the kind of thing that you should respond with "FINALLY A WORTHY OPPONENT" but of course a certain one in G2 ruins that.....

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I wouldn't. That'd require cutting at least two thirds of Thracia, or make a 100 hour long game that'd tire everybody out. Not to mention how difficult it'd be to pull off.

See, that depends on how it's handled. I think it'd honestly be an interesting thing to observe. Though yeah, combined would be a beast, imagine trying to clear a combo Genealogy + Thracia title, even if all the maps are more like Thracia.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I like all the ( ).

In all seriousness, his name is mentioned a grand total of once. Prologue 6, the first base conversation. Jagen says that Sir Maclir was once a renowned knight of Altea, and an old friend of his.

Yes, that's a shame because it like the Stoneborn could have been used so much better.

Imagine, if you will, giants became a recurring threat in a title. You could have the army have to face one as a big threat who takes time to fight, depending on the scale fighting could take place on giants. And of course giants like the Formorians are a mythological being that could be pulled from many sources.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, shit, right. Forgive me. I keep selfishly forgetting that not everybody has / can afford / can be bothered to get a more potent computer like mine. I also have difficulties associating Berwick, a gorgeous but still 2D game, as something that'd be difficult for anybody to run. But of course, due to emulating shenanigans, it probably wouldn't be pretty on lesser computers...

That problem indeed.

It's more like endless slowdowns would be my issue, I can confirm Dolphin works if slowed down.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It'd no longer be a weapon!

Just a bit of metal so worn down that it could be confused for a shredded bit of sheet metal.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Is this a reference to one of my LPs? Who had 11 speed at endgame? I'll have you know, Dougy had 14!

Anyway, 11 speed at endgame would be pretty shitty, yes.

Nope, referring to someone else here.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah... rather certain that this dialogue doesn't affect the actual gameplay, though. Had I given him a chance to attack Kreiss, I'm pretty sure he would've done just as much damage as he would've to anybody else.

I mean, you'd wish it might have.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

A little bit, yes, but again, forced Ezekiel or one chapter of availability.

I mean, why does it do this?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nope, no way to resolve it. The problem is that, since the event takes place at the route split, killing one of them does nothing, since they'll both still be available by the time of the scene, if you revive them. Either I kill off Letena and save one use of the Dakruon for her, or I let her leave on her own at the route split and Kreiss is left forever alone.

At this point, it's mostly just a question of me wanting to get Kreiss laid.

There's still a chance that something could be done. I'll be sure to do some tests when the time comes, but I wouldn't hold my breath on it.

So you can't go back?

I thought you could in Holmes's route?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You sound like that's a bad thing. C'mon! Don't be a Richard!

That's not my name though.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Whatever. Some people were confused as to how I'll handle this. Well, here's what I'll do in detail: I'm going to combine both routes. Using the save I made here in the desert, I got myself two files, one where Runan seizes the northern fort, and another where he takes the southern one instead. Next Runan chapter will be 26A, the outdoor one, and afterwards I'll pop the B save and go through the indoor map.

I'll omit some of the more minor scenes that could break the illusion of continuity (don't worry, I've checked, and the only scenes I'll have to remove are the least interesting ones, so there's that), and I'll be mixing up scenes from both routes (seriously, even though I like 26B's map more, some of the 26A scenes are just priceless), as well as adding some scenes of my own to tie the whole thing together. It should work well enough, I feel.

I should also clarify that I'll be playing through Holmes's chapters at the same time. I'll do this with the 26B file, so when it comes to the gameplay side of things, 26B will be canon. Deaths and all. If someone dies in 26A I'll have to get creative. Maybe I could just bench the 26A casualties forever. Y'know, as if I didn't hate myself enough as it is.

With that out of the way, let's capture the northern fort.

Will those deleted scenes be in a blooper reel?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Arkis is out in the desert, talking about how he wants to save one Lina. Last time Lina was mentioned was all the way back in Wellt, where she was established as Kreiss's sister and Arkis's bethroted. The poor girl. Also, she's in Razellia. I sure hope he's not thinking of soloing the next chapter, 'cause if he is, then he's got another thing coming.

>Implying Arkis doesn't get +10 to all stats for The Power Of Love.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Forget about my troubles, Lord Brother. You just worry about yourself. Now tell me, what do you know about the rebellion in the north?

Only what I've heard from others. Apparently, it's the army of Erial, led by a boy claiming to be Lord Brother's own son. How dare they dishonor our brother's name...

I mean, it's a bit formal referring to their dead brother as lord brother.

He's the lord of nothing now that he's too dead to hold land after all.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

But if that's true... Why did he hide himself until now? And why would he rebel against his home? Do you think he's being used as a figurehead to usurp the Kingdom of Canaan?

It's certainly possible... But until I hear otherwise, I will trust Resshea's judgment on this.

This, this is the kind of sneaky stuff that leads to these guys being Lorenzes.

Which means they won't be.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Man, the good guys don't like him, the sympathetic bad guys don't like him, his own family didn't like him... all that's left is for even Gerxel to hate him, and he'll officially be the continent's most despised man. And it'll be a most warranted title.

I think Gerxel does too.

"I mean, I'm a dark god and Lentzenhiemer makes me look sweet in comparison. I hate that douche!"

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wait... That's Lina?!

Pffffhwahahahahahah! Seriously?! So you're telling me that the girl that looks exactly like Arkis, from her color scheme to her pose and her facial structure, is Kreiss's sister. Kreiss, who looks absolutely nothing like her at all. And to make matters worse, she's going to marry Arkis! Dude loves himself that much, that he'd find a girl that's a genderswapped him? No, wait, but he DIDN'T want to marry her! What the hell is this all about?! In fact, if I recall correctly, he found her to be rather insufferable! How's that for irony?

Arkis apparently hates himself, that why he didn't want to marry her.

He's also a masochist, considering he wanted to save her anyway.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's Lord of Razellia to you, scum! Ooh, what a pretty little lady. Is she your girlfriend? heheh, I know exactly what to do with you... You there, arrest this girl, too!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand you can add blackmailing to the long, long list of things that show Lentzie's a terrible human being. Also, Arkis's stupidity has reached a new low. He didn't even need to rescue Lina, you know? In 26A (well, normal 26A, of course), Lina can be found in the city, and she's just fine! Lentzie never had any quarrel with her! By needlessly trying to play the hero, Arkis didn't just doom himself, he also screwed her over!

What did they do that was worthy of arresting other than Lentzenheimer being Lentzenheimer?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Let's hope you're not like a certain other "brilliant strategist":

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Since when are you a patriot, Holmes? Or does the idea of having a country to call your own tingle your tiddly? Nobody in their sane minds would leave a broken pen in your care, much less the entirety of Granada!

He just hates his dad, he'd be fine with having something else to neglect though.

Besides, I also doubt the Umayyads would have had him rule Granada either.

[The Roger The Paladin]

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

In this thread? No such thing as "excessive", please!

Not even this? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6573879/Student-CRUCIFIES-rat-cross-catching-eating-pet-turtle.html

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pfffhwahahahah, you're right actually, it does look like that.

I just had the odd thought that Cactuar's legs remind me of half a swastika. Does that make it a neo-nazi?

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I did what I could with what little I had. Besides, burning alive is one of the worst ways to die I can come up with.

I can come up with worse. One particular method used by the Persians involving two boats comes to mind. I seriously advise against looking it up, because it is a shitty way to go.

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He could always write a book. "My life as a psycopath's mount". I'd buy that.

"My life as The Bearer of Death"
"When I got the call to be the mount for a princess, I couldn't believe my luck. This was a cushy job, usually reserved for those elitist Pegasi, and yet I, a humble Wyvern, would be given it? Little did I know there was a reason the Pegasus who had the role prior relinquished the job. You see, most mounts fear the death of their rider. It would put them out of work and leave a black mark upon their record when applying for future endeavors. But bearing a Princess surely would be a safe, cushy job. After all, princesses are typically sheltered individuals with no interest in battle... at least that's what I thought before meeting Sasha. It became clear that the death of my rider was not an issue. No, for Sasha was the Grim Reaper in the guise of a mortal girl. She'd bait her prey in with her unassuming appearance, only to disembowel them with gusto, oftentimes looting the remains afterwards. Even her allies were unnerved by her presence... as if sensing the malefic aura exuded from her unassuming form. I, who was closest to her in the heat of battle, was witness to crimes that would drive strong men mad...

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Why an underling, tho... what's this reference that I am missing?

Kefka's introduction in Final Fantasy VI, a case where initiative was taken in the writing of the dialogue that made the guy from "generic villain" into "batshit crazy and memorable for it".

 

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Again with this! Explain to me the reference now!

See above.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Beautiful. 10/10. What's the original, though?

Well, you can't do references to French Disney villains all the time without the Gaston song cropping up.

 

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

For the love of God... you... just...! No! That is not something I need nor want to think about!

Yeah, but think how jealous it'd make Camilla.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's his standard face, tho...

What does that say to you? He crossed Eugen's path and that face has been on him since.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

O U C H

Funny enough, my brother eats Carolina Reapers constantly. People assume because he eats them raw with no reaction, they aren't that hot, try to prove it, and end up in agony for the trouble.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Seriously, these names! Who came up with 'em!?

While I can't say who came up with them, it's pretty simple. In war-time, it was basically a rule you'd use code-names for things so people who cracked your codes couldn't tell what you were talking about anyway. This results in terminology such as the Manhattan Project (the name for the development of the H-bomb), the use of the code names Fatman and Little Boy (that sounds like a super-hero and his sidekick) for the bombs used on Japan, and perhaps most notably, referring to certain vehicles not dissimilar to the one Tom uses as Tanks because they were labelled as the other type of tank that one stores water in during transport prior to their first use. Ergo, we have this mentality to thank for Tom.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Man, the good guys don't like him, the sympathetic bad guys don't like him, his own family didn't like him... all that's left is for even Gerxel to hate him, and he'll officially be the continent's most despised man. And it'll be a most warranted title.

 

Even Lentzenheimer hates Lentzenheimer deep down, and has dreams about how horrible he is nightly.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pffffhwahahahahahah! Seriously?! So you're telling me that the girl that looks exactly like Arkis, from her color scheme to her pose and her facial structure, is Kreiss's sister. Kreiss, who looks absolutely nothing like her at all. And to make matters worse, she's going to marry Arkis! Dude loves himself that much, that he'd find a girl that's a genderswapped him? No, wait, but he DIDN'T want to marry her! What the hell is this all about?! In fact, if I recall correctly, he found her to be rather insufferable! How's that for irony?

Well, this explains how Kreiss is able to tolerate him. He's had practice. Also, I think Pengauis may have a new Waifu.
Either that or Lina's a bit of a crazy and dyed her hair and started dressing in the same colours as Arkis because of an obsession. Very worrying indeed.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And as if this whole thing wasn't already ridiculous enough, they don't make it even two steps before Lentzenheimer - not even a guard, Lentzenheimer himself - catches them in fraganti. What even was he doing out so late at night? Trying to find cheap street hookers?

Probably looking for his favourite establishment because it seems to have burned down and he can't understand why the lot is vacant.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Arkis didn't just doom himself, he also screwed her over!

He didn't want to marry her... but he was fine screwing her.

 

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...this scene's just pure gold, I swear.

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog's Dr. Robotnik would be proud.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, so Holmes didn't even know who he was fighting last time. Great. Just great.

Which really does prove he just attacked it aimlessly. Holmes never ceases to amaze.

[BrightBow]

Come to think of it, it's actually kinda silly that Lina is the one who is struggling to keep up with Arkis and not the other way around. Maybe she is just putting up an act so that Arkis wouldn't feel like a complete failure for being outrun by an adolescent.

Edited May 11, 2019 by BrightBow

[Hawkwing]

On 5/8/2019 at 6:13 AM, Dayni said:

Good job man!

Thank you!

7 hours ago, Mad-manakete said:

I can come up with worse. One particular method used by the Persians involving two boats comes to mind. I seriously advise against looking it up, because it is a shitty way to go.

...It either involves being torn in different directions or crushed. Either way, yeesh.

The Assyrians were more brutal.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You are winner!

In all seriousness, congratz. Now take some days to relax.

Thank you! Even if the last few days weren't really all that relaxing. Blame the job search, doing a few chores around the house, and (trying) to spend time practicing my CAD skills with a different software. And I still have to overcome bad sleeping habits and getting easily distracted.

On the bright side, I have beaten all Ducklife games. And am close to beating Echoes again. And discovered Cinemawins.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It doesn't matter, I've made you paranoid, and that is what counts.

I mean, I kinda already was. I suppose this just added something to the list.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

How could I forget?! Noooooo! My emperor... I've failed you!

Too late! Game over, pal!

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

"Forgive me, O God!", as you're smashing somebody's head in with a book. Now that's a mental image.

In that context, I was talking about sacrificing the book in order to survive, and I could ask God for forgiveness for doing so. If I was asked to give up the word, then I would  not and will not do so, even if it leads to me becoming a martyr.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

What does the time it takes to do a flip have to do with anything? It doesn't explain why you were standing in front of the flipping person!

Not taking a whole lot of time combined with me not thinking about leg length and the person not announcing they would attempt it all combined together to give me a groin attack. I still shouldn't have stood in front of them, though. The lesson was learned, even if my back prevents me from applying it on a trampoline now.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

15 living units means that, even just for Athena, you need to lose 13 units. Nearly half the available cast at the time. And that's just Athena. Ymir requires, like, 40 units to be sacrificed!

...The playtester for that mechanic must have completely sucked if IS thought that amount was reasonable.

Or they thought the higher difficulties were really just that hard.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I see...

In a totally unrelated note, I recommend that you play Mafia 2! There's no reason I'm saying this now, none at all

Isn't that the game that broke a word record for most swear words? Or is that the sequel?

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...adventure games were crap, all things considered.

They did dig their own grave at points, I agree.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

To be fair, Lyria's pretty dumb. I could see her falling for it like she does if the event happens.

That... doesn't make it any better.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It must be awkward for you to be a player of the 3DS FEs. Did you avoid S-supporting at all costs?

Not really, if I'm being honest. As much as people joke that Awakening is "shipping emblem", it's really not that large of a focus. Sure, there are child units, marriage affects the endings, there are some dialogue differences and other small change between married pairs, and the avatar gets a special confession, but that's really it. There are no dating scenes, no love triangles, and no dialogue choices like there are in other games.

Heck, you can see the mechanics entirely from a gameplay perspective if you so wish, and not even from a "eugenics simulator" direction. It can really be as simple as "these two units have great synergy on the battlefield together, and I want to give them the exclusive support bonuses so that they become even more powerful". And you can even pair characters up less because you like the pairing or think it's a cute couple, but because you like how two characters interact and want to see more of their supports.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I dunno how it works in 'Murica (at least I've been guessing you're from the US for a while now), since it seems there's at least a dozen different systems there, but here in Spain, a 5/10 is a passing grade. 7's actually pretty good. Solid B, could be better, but it's worth being happy about it.

Yep. I'm in the US of A. In the mitten of America, actually. On the left side, just above the wrist.

Just like game reviews, if it's not an 8, 9, or 10, it sucks, with a 7 being a C.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Everyone loved that part, it seems. I'm glad!

You're welcome! It made the slaver even more despicable, and helped explain his behavior that the game didn't bother to delve into.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

A lot of the time the smaller choices don't even result in dialogue changes. There ARE a few choices that matter here and there (like in the first season Walking Dead game, that one had a few... and I was positively shocked that Conrad could be kept alive all the way through season 3, even though he could potentially die in every single episode! Sure, he was barely there at all after chapter 1, but hey! It's somethin'!), but for the most part, Telltale is appalingly bad at the whole dynamic storytelling schtick.

In fact, as much as I love to make fun of David Cage, I'd argue he's better at this particular part. Not by a huge margin, but his games at least have... different endings, that are impacted by your actions throughout the game! Unlike Telltale's games, which do tend to have multiple endings, but they're decided by a single choice at the very end.

But to be fair, they both triumph over Life is Strange, where not only is the ending decided by a single choice at the very end, one choice completely cancels out the entire game, and the other leaves the game unresolved!

As much as I like the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book series, I understand the differences between writing a book and making a videogame. Considering the amount of time and money needed to animate each scene, program the choices in, and record the actors lines and so on, I can see why several videogames cut corners to get the product out on time.

Doesn't mean it can't be done. I've heard that Alpha Protocol is pretty dang good at having the story be widely different depending on who you trust and backstab, with some storylines and characters not even appearing depending on your actions. Haven't played the game myself, though, so I can't confirm it.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I did what I could with what little I had. Besides, burning alive is one of the worst ways to die I can come up with.

Skinned/eaten alive is another one, although I can understand not doing the former, and the latter would require more set-up.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

ZUN's the guy's name. And I don't know much beyond that, either. Heard ZUN was looking to become a musician when he instead studied game making. That explains the stellar music.

Sounds like a similar story to Toby Fox, who was a self-taught musician and then made Undertale. Amazing what a single person can create, and how much it can take off.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

he desert's a natural barrier for attackers from the west, to the south there's the aforementioned desert and below that there's only the sea (yeah it doesn't make sense, does it), and to the east is Lentzenheimer.

All things considered, they were pretty well protected.

Fair enough, even if it doesn't apply in the future when national landscapes change.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Always wondered who came up with the names for these bombs.

It was a code name. They thought the bomb looked fat. The names for the other nuclear bombs were the thin man and the little boy, so they had a theme naming going on.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

To be honest, I don't think it's a waste at all. This is one of the most memorable fights in the game, simply because of how tough they were. Perhaps I made it look easy, but believe me, my heart was pounding hard as I watched them approach.

Fair enough. And thinking back, it's not like Fire Emblem is the best with reoccurring bosses. Especially when you can surround them and somehow they still retreat, even without warping powers.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Actually, that's old news. All the way back in the GBA games, you already could only get 5 supports. That is, one A and a B, one A and two C, two B and a C...

I knew that (I'm curious how well it worked, but that's a discussion for another time). Echoes came to mind because most characters only have 1 or 2 support partners total, but the bonuses they get go a long way in showing why they're so limited. Turing an unsure hit rate into 100% and with some added crit and avoid truly does make a difference.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I tried drawing the tip, but it didn't look good. Besides, I like what you described this better.

I actually learned yesterday that bullets and arrows actually don't go straight through the body. Instead, they take the path of least resistance. So a person shot in the hip can have the bullet come out of their knee, or a person shot in the arm can have it travel through their bloodstream.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Parents can eat shit. Remember that?

Ah, right. Now I remember.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Dunno. I just thought it was fitting for the situation. It's among the unused portraits. I guess Kaga had a more reasonable Dancer unit in mind (at least that one looks like an adult), but then he came up with the idea of making it an underaged victim of a prostitution ring.

Of course Kaga did.

On a side note, why did Juni and the unnamed dancer/cleric have shoulder pads on their slaver costume? There doesn't appear to be any practical point to it.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He was here just a moment ago...

Here? I don't think the frontlines are where the bench is located...

Where has that ne'er-do-well gone off to? If he's shirking his duties again, so help me Yutona...

"Again"? This is a common occurrence? Good thing he's of no importance to the army, then.

You do have to wonder what benched units do with their time. It would be neat if they occasionally did their own thing if you didn't use them on certain maps, but I can see the complications that would arise from implementing such a mechanic.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Matthis took the words out of my mouth. The first, part, anyway.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Of course I do, and you should too. You saw the aftermath of that blaze fourteen years ago. Everything was so charred, it was nigh impossible to tell bone from wood. Just because Sennet and Neyfa's bodies weren't found doesn't mean they survived.

Sounds a lot like Celica (and later Conrads) situation. All that's needed now is a knight being unjustly blamed for the fire.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Man, the good guys don't like him, the sympathetic bad guys don't like him, his own family didn't like him... all that's left is for even Gerxel to hate him, and he'll officially be the continent's most despised man. And it'll be a most warranted title.

I'm debating whether he should receive a nasty death or a humiliating one. How about both?

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'm curious how this decision will work out storywise.

Also, nice to see one-man armies be addressed in this fashion. Fire Emblem never really pays attention to that fact about itself.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...this isn't going to end well, is it.

Unless it's the start of a case scene in an adventure game...

Nope!

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pffffhwahahahahahah! Seriously?! So you're telling me that the girl that looks exactly like Arkis, from her color scheme to her pose and her facial structure, is Kreiss's sister. Kreiss, who looks absolutely nothing like her at all. And to make matters worse, she's going to marry Arkis! Dude loves himself that much, that he'd find a girl that's a genderswapped him? No, wait, but he DIDN'T want to marry her! What the hell is this all about?! In fact, if I recall correctly, he found her to be rather insufferable! How's that for irony?

They're so similar I temporarily forgot all the backstory and thought Arkis was rescuing his sister for a moment there. It would be magnificent irony if they're so similar that they repel each other. Just like a magnet!

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lentzenheimer!?

And as if this whole thing wasn't already ridiculous enough, they don't make it even two steps before Lentzenheimer - not even a guard, Lentzenheimer himself - catches them in fraganti. What even was he doing out so late at night? Trying to find cheap street hookers?

Logic and sense clocked out for the day, and the story decided to work without them again.

Guess even Runan's route isn't completely immune to the story taking an off day.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand you can add blackmailing to the long, long list of things that show Lentzie's a terrible human being. Also, Arkis's stupidity has reached a new low. He didn't even need to rescue Lina, you know? In 26A (well, normal 26A, of course), Lina can be found in the city, and she's just fine! Lentzie never had any quarrel with her! By needlessly trying to play the hero, Arkis didn't just doom himself, he also screwed her over!

 

Guess spending so long on the bench did wonders to his head. Not like there was much there in the first place.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...the Royal Historian of Wellt!?

Ah, so that's where the music came from.

Where did the chipmunk originally come from?

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's definitely him! So this is where he disappeared to, after Codha's downfall!

I remember this guy! Yay! He returned!

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pfffwahahah... poor Royal Historian. He always seems to find the worst kinds of leaders to serve.

"Still a better job situation than Reptile" was the first thing that came to mind when I read that, for some reason.

Don't worry. He finally gets a caring boss in MKX... and then time shenanigans happen in the next game.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...this scene's just pure gold, I swear.

That's an understatement.

As despicable as this guy is, he has a hilariously childish side. Ah, if only it was shown more often...

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This ship can hardly be from the same fleet as the last one, Holmes. I think the one from before might've just been a cargo shit...

Pirate hunters? Nah, Holmes reputation isn't infamous enough for that...

...Scratch that. They might be actual pirates trying to save the little that's left of their good name.

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You sure you want to get in a fight with the actual naval fleet like this?

These Imperial types are all the same.

They'll attempt broadside fire at all times and will try to avoid ramming into the enemy ship?

I haven't played Pirates! Live the Life! in several months. Ah, I need to return to that game again...

[Pengaius]

On 10/05/2019 at 10:22 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

What, you want him to live? Really? That's not a very safe opinion, in this thread. Keep in mind Hawkwing could kill you with a chair. And a Bible!

Well I want him to suffer more. Keep in mind Hawkwing could kill him with a chair. And a Bible!

On 10/05/2019 at 10:22 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I sure hope he's not thinking of soloing the next chapter, 'cause if he is, then he's got another thing coming.

It would be a hilarious move on Kaga's part to show off Lentzie's army but when you show up you just get a dialogue from Arkis just being. 

“Heya lord Runan, I've reclaimed our homeland and killed that vile Lentzenheimer, here take his fancy sword. By the way this is my fiancé Lina, she's also Kreiss' sister and she's joking the army for some arbitrary reason, well if you need me I'll be on the bench taking a nap. G'night."

On 10/05/2019 at 10:22 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Pffffhwahahahahahah! Seriously?! So you're telling me that the girl that looks exactly like Arkis, from her color scheme to her pose and her facial structure, is Kreiss's sister. Kreiss, who looks absolutely nothing like her at all. And to make matters worse, she's going to marry Arkis! Dude loves himself that much, that he'd find a girl that's a genderswapped him? No, wait, but he DIDN'T want to marry her! What the hell is this all about?! In fact, if I recall correctly, he found her to be rather insufferable! How's that for irony?

I mean maybe he found her insufferable because she seems to be obsessed with Arkis to the point of dying her hair and copying his mannerisms, creepy. 

On 10/05/2019 at 10:22 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

What even was he doing out so late at night? Trying to find cheap street hookers?

Probably just to kill them, or drug and sell them. 

On 10/05/2019 at 10:22 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Gather our most skilled soldiers- proceeds to field Arkis. (Either his troops suck or he just genuinely doesn't understand how combat works) 

On 11/05/2019 at 10:27 AM, Mad-manakete said:

Pengauis may have a new Waifu.

What, she's just a child what do you take me for? 

 

Oh also Ruben I think you should let Arkis solo 26A with all the statboosters and knights crest for the s&giggles. 

[The Roger The Paladin]

Well, seeing as I'm doing replies now, I may as well give our patron Saint another song (that I intended for next update). This one, I call "The Last of Granada's Privateers", and have based on the song "The Last of Barrett's Privateers"

Spoiler

Oh, the year was 2019
How I wish I was in Verje right now
We dropped Runan off to fight a war,
From the scummiest vessel I've ever saw,
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


Oh, Shigen, Garo, cried the town
How I wish I was in Wellt right now
For many brave men all of who
Would make for Holmes the Sea Lion's crew
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


The Sea Lion's captain was not particularly bright
How I wish I was in Salia right now
His head in the clouds, his thoughts ran astray,
And he couldn't remember his goals for a day,
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


When we met Katri we'd put to sea
How I wish I was in Reeve right now
We were wandering the land with no goal to pursue,
Because our leader's thick as a chunky beef stew
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


After leaving Katri with law we sailed again
How I wish I was in Razelia right now
With finally a reason for our actions in sight,
With the Dakruon in tow we'd revive those we'd lost in a fight,
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


Now our captain spotted a sight
How I wish I were in bed right now
He'd sighted a ship, and we never knew,
Why we were sent to battle it's crew,
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


We took a detour to free Granada that day
How I wish I were in Runan's team right now
Holmes never liked his father, he hated his guts
But he went to take Granada back because he was nuts
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


The Sea Lion's crew were sick of this crap.
How I wish I were dead right now
They told Holmes they were sick of being led astray,
So they up and all walked away.
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers

So here I sit in a bar in Blaad,
How I wish I was anywhere else right now
It's been 6 years since they walked away
And we just made it back here yesterday
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers

 

13 hours ago, Pengaius said:

On 5/11/2019 at 7:22 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

 

I mean maybe he found her insufferable because she seems to be obsessed with Arkis to the point of dying her hair and copying his mannerisms, creepy. 

I'd swear I just said something to that effect.

13 hours ago, Pengaius said:

On 5/11/2019 at 7:27 PM, Mad-manakete said:

 

What, she's just a child what do you take me for? 

Looked it up. Failed to remember Kaga's penchant for making the characters 13 but look older. No wonder Arkis is afraid to marry her. Kind of makes the time my father's co-worker tried to talk him into setting up an arranged marriage for me with her daughter more reasonable on the grounds at least we're the same age. (The sad thing being this was like, two years ago purely on the basis she saw a photo and decided I was handsome, so we're talking a grown daughter)

On 5/12/2019 at 2:31 AM, Hawkwing said:

..It either involves being torn in different directions or crushed. Either way, yeesh.

The Assyrians were more brutal.

I only wish it were so obvious a use of the boats. We're not talking anything large. Something more dinghy size. It's the kind of thing you literally couldn't depict without going into bad taste.

Edited May 14, 2019 by Mad-manakete

[Hawkwing]

15 hours ago, Mad-manakete said:

I only wish it were so obvious a use of the boats. We're not talking anything large. Something more dinghy size. It's the kind of thing you literally couldn't depict without going into bad taste.

I looked it up.

What was it with ancient civilizations and finding new ways to kill people?

Being fair, though, we're not really any better now (real people aren't dying, but it is definitely easier to access violent movies and books and videogames and such. Pretty much trading one problem for another).

On 5/10/2019 at 5:22 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Except the playable Witch doesn't randomly turn into a Mage in this game. And I love her for it.

I beat Echoes again last Sunday. Sonya does unlock get rewarp, which allows her to teleport to any allies side, but it's not exactly the same.

Side note, I discovered that turnwheel uses in the final dungeon do not reset for the final level. Doing so with only three cogs left and going through each of them was definitely a harrowing experience. I also almost lost Kamui because he kept killing the enemy and barely survived with 1 hp when he thankfully missed, screw the guy with Medusa because he has both a shield on hard and has the exact same range as Duma, and Duma is the best final boss in a Fire Emblem game. Oh, and Echoes has potential for an interesting sequel and I hope IS makes it someday.

On 5/10/2019 at 5:22 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Pffft. Oh, goodness. Also, how is that a spoiler of anything? Oh gee, you ruined Endgame for me, a guy does a thing with his hands!

Spoiler

Spoiler

Marvel movie spoilers without context appears to be a new meme.

 

On 5/10/2019 at 5:22 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

What, you want him to live? Really? That's not a very safe opinion, in this thread. Keep in mind Hawkwing could kill you with a chair. And a Bible!

Chair, yes. Bible, no. Although I would try to save Pengaius's soul and/or give him wisdom if I was called to do so and it was the time and place for it.

[The Roger The Paladin]

11 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

 

What was it with ancient civilizations and finding new ways to kill people?

Because on a technicality, most of humanity's history falls under what we'd deem ancient history... and modern society doesn't need to invent creative ways to execute people as often as we've kind of settled on our present ones... if we're in a country that does that still. Furthermore, thanks to the internet and thousands of years of humans coming up with ways to kill creatively, we can just fall back on old methods that people largely are unaware of and still never run out of ways. Indeed, if you thought of an idea you thought never had been done before, odds are someone already thought of something similar... if not identical. So essentially, the point is, even a seemingly infinite field such as murder ultimately ends up being less infinite than one would expect. Mortal Kombat of course manages to defy this thanks to taking liberties with physics, but for the real world the only true way to give someone a unique death is doing something oddly specific for it. An example being cutting all their tendons, tying bacon to their joints, and throwing them into the Grand Canyon (I've never been to the Grand Canyon, so that's a 100% randomly generated example). The more random things tied onto the kill completely unrelated to death/harm, the more chance it'll go unduplicated (unless it's bizarre enough to attract a copycat). But even then, the actual cause of death won't be creative.

Long story short, I put way too much thought into a rhetorical question and came to the conclusion there's only so many ways a person can be murdered before aspects repeat.

[Saint Rubenio]

Part 51 - Something something boat map.

Something:

Spoiler

On 10/5/2019 at 11:54 PM, Goddess Serra said:

Sorta. My sister was going on holiday to Portugal and she needed a phone because she was getting hers repaired. For whatever reason, my father thought that his Nokia would be good enough for me for a week and didn't even wait for me to make a backup of the important stuff (like my Final Fantasy V save I could have saved on Cloud).

Well, crap. I'm sorry.

Well, to quote you: why would you even do that?

Hahahah... I mean, why would I even begin to do LPs when I am hopelessly awful at FE?

What's really too convenient is that no one ever cared about finding out who supposedly killed the to-be empress and her children. As in, the emperor's daughter-in-law and grandchildren. Well, Barker's daughter (which we may or may not have already met) is (according to common in-universe knowledge) second in line for the throne after Barker himself and no one (again, in-universe) seems to care about her, ever, her father included. Guys, I hope you realize that your emperor is neither Nicholas Flamell nor Avatar Kyoshi nor Athos nor Hannah Wells nor any other extremely long-lived fictional being. Especially considering that "Canaan is at its weakest". Karyuon lived 60 years, and Bahanuke is definitely past that at this point.

We did meet Barker's daughter. She exchanged teary farewells with Barbarossa just before we massacred him and his troops, and then she went to her father asking for Runan's head. And I'm pretty sure Stephanie's actually third in line for the throne, Sennet being second, since Arless was the older brother.

Also, what are you talking about? Both Julius and Barker showed concern when Stephanie just came to Julius demanding that somebody had Runan drawn and quartered. Julius even said they had to end the war so that children like Stephanie wouldn't become killers. The game hasn't gone too out of its way to show it, but it's clear they both care about her.

Lastly, they did try to find out who did it, but considering who the culprit was, it's very clear why the investigation didn't go far. More on that later.

Yeah, I was about to say that he was probably looking for a hooker, but you read my mind. Before I even thought that. Telepathy, huh? How the hell can Tom Kirkman almost be removed as President of the US because he was processing his wife's death (and he got over that thanks to his brother, why does no one ever mention that Trey is low-key the best character in Designated Survivor and why does no one care about his absence from Season 3?) and Lentzenheimer (apparently next in line for ruler of the second biggest nation in Lieberia) can go around having fun with street hookers in the middle of the night? Does he kill them afterwards, like he killed his mother? What the hell, Lentzie. For real.

Sadly, I can see him doing that. Probably wouldn't want any escorts trying to blackmail him using his tiny dick or something.

 

On 11/5/2019 at 12:15 AM, BrightBow said:

Even from the bench, Arkis finds a way to fuck things up.

He's quite the talented nuisance.

 

On 11/5/2019 at 6:31 AM, eclipse said:

"We'll burn that bridge when we get there" should be Barker and Julius' motto.

Hahah, they haven't been the most proactive guys, have they? But to be fair, they don't exactly want to win the war, they just don't want Runan to stomp them too badly.

 

On 11/5/2019 at 9:40 AM, Dayni said:

I'm telling you, it's more sense than the wall with Mexico.

They get to form an independent nation of freewheeling capitalists that Peter Casey could assist in the rule of like all "political" businessmen that are all the rage now. It also means that the border with the North is less complicated for Brexit as only the southern parts need monitoring and thus less checks will be needed, it's perfect. Someone tell Johnson, Rees-Mogg et al. /s

I've gotten kinda lost, actually. Does that count as an r/woooosh?

>Outdated UI

Okay, I'm not going to pretend that things haven't improved there and that 1995 UI isn't as good. I just don't think the gap's as far off with Genealogy versus titles that came out soon after it.

To be entirely fair, this is just the impression I got from when I played for five minutes a long time ago. I could be wrong.

>Pitiful unit balance

Kaga era FEs are plagued with it. Mount utility is not an issue of if characters can fight as much as can they get somewhere far away, certainly bad balance there, but you can certainly try to ignore cavs (I can't for the life of me think why nobody has.....). As for the holy weapons, while you could argue "Just use the holy weapon users!" the game doesn't really allow you to get away with that and has some design behind it to prevent that. 

I won't deny that Kaga's FEs are badly balanced in general, but the thing is, with this game's maps being as they are, the gap between infantry and cavalry is at the widest it's ever been in the series. There's just no point in using infantry when everybody who uses a horse can curbstomp the game just as well. You could argue it's always been like this, that horseriders have always been the best unit, but the thing is, in the other games you can use infantry if you want, even if it's not as much of a good idea. This game makes it so tedious with its horrendously big maps, it's less of a challenge and more of an exercise on boredom.

Again, this might just be my mistaken impression, but everything I know about the game points towards this.

>Hating on the 80's hair

YOU TAKE THAT BACK

Fuck that, I'll sink with the "DS actually had pretty great character art!" ship if it costs me my life. Everyone in SNES looks the same and the hair looks like it belongs in a comedic slice-of-life anime.

...Thracia's a little better though. At least not everyone looks the same there, and the hair's more reasonable.

>Awfully obscure mechanics

I'm trying to figure out which obscure mechanics here: The first pairing mechanic has issues for sure, some of the skills certainly need retooling for a remake, I actually like how items and money are handled for this game specifically, Holy weapons are the kind of thing that you should respond with "FINALLY A WORTHY OPPONENT" but of course a certain one in G2 ruins that.....

Yes, the whole pairing thing strikes me as something that's a much, much crappier version of GBA supports: if you don't do it, you're fucked in the second generation, and if you do it, you break the game even harder than you can with supports in GBA. Not to mention it seems to take even longer than GBA supports. And the holy weapons are just unreasonable.

I don't know, it simply doesn't strike me as a game I'd enjoy. Never did like mindless stompfests where only a select few can be reasonably used.

See, that depends on how it's handled. I think it'd honestly be an interesting thing to observe. Though yeah, combined would be a beast, imagine trying to clear a combo Genealogy + Thracia title, even if all the maps are more like Thracia.

It'd be interesting to watch, for sure, but I doubt it'd end well.

Yes, that's a shame because it like the Stoneborn could have been used so much better.

Imagine, if you will, giants became a recurring threat in a title. You could have the army have to face one as a big threat who takes time to fight, depending on the scale fighting could take place on giants. And of course giants like the Formorians are a mythological being that could be pulled from many sources.

You sure like giants. I'm more fond of giantesses, myself. Heh... a-ahem, moving right on, distractions, distractions...

That problem indeed.

Ah! A distraction, good.

It's more like endless slowdowns would be my issue, I can confirm Dolphin works if slowed down.

Yeah... it's all a shame.

Just a bit of metal so worn down that it could be confused for a shredded bit of sheet metal.

Or maybe it would just not exist at all anymore!

Nope, referring to someone else here.

Hmm, okay.

I mean, you'd wish it might have.

What? Why? I don't want Kreiss to die, either!

I mean, why does it do this?

Because Kaga was pissed from the whole IntSys fiasco and wanted to hurt humanity.

So you can't go back?

I thought you could in Holmes's route?

Nnnnope. After the third route split, he can't roam freely anymore.

That's not my name though.

Okay, Daniel.

Now's when that's really it and you call the cops on me

Will those deleted scenes be in a blooper reel?

Perhaps I could post them after the whole thing is said and done.

>Implying Arkis doesn't get +10 to all stats for The Power Of Love.

Yeah, no.

I mean, it's a bit formal referring to their dead brother as lord brother.

He's the lord of nothing now that he's too dead to hold land after all.

C'mon, they've had a shitty streak for a while now, spare them some Lord Brothers.

This, this is the kind of sneaky stuff that leads to these guys being Lorenzes.

Which means they won't be.

Well... who knows. We'll see.

I think Gerxel does too.

"I mean, I'm a dark god and Lentzenhiemer makes me look sweet in comparison. I hate that douche!"

Hahahahahah, poor Lentzie.

Arkis apparently hates himself, that why he didn't want to marry her.

He's also a masochist, considering he wanted to save her anyway.

What a stupid, stupid man.

What did they do that was worthy of arresting other than Lentzenheimer being Lentzenheimer?

Well, he magically knew Arkis was one of Runan's troops, so he arrested them both to use them as leverage against Runan, I guess.

...yeah, there's no reason beyond Lentzie being Lentzie.

Let's hope you're not like a certain other "brilliant strategist":

Ah, not quite, but still, that tactic's name's just ridiculous.

He just hates his dad, he'd be fine with having something else to neglect though.

Besides, I also doubt the Umayyads would have had him rule Granada either.

Point is, Holmes is suck, Garo would make for a better governor of Granada.

 

On 11/5/2019 at 11:27 AM, Mad-manakete said:

Not even this? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6573879/Student-CRUCIFIES-rat-cross-catching-eating-pet-turtle.html

...okay, that is going a bit overboard.

I just had the odd thought that Cactuar's legs remind me of half a swastika. Does that make it a neo-nazi?

Not really, it just proves that you have the ability to see. 'Cause that's obviously a swastika. Not that the swastika was a nazi symbol to begin with, it was made into one, but eh, details. It's just like the Hitlerstache: he wasn't the one to create it, but because he used it, it's ruined for everybody forever.

I can come up with worse. One particular method used by the Persians involving two boats comes to mind. I seriously advise against looking it up, because it is a shitty way to go.

Yeah, but I needed the thing to... y'know, make sense? Sorta? Not that "self-insert Gary Stu powers!" is much better, but where exactly would he have gotten two boats in the middle of Salia?

"My life as The Bearer of Death"
"When I got the call to be the mount for a princess, I couldn't believe my luck. This was a cushy job, usually reserved for those elitist Pegasi, and yet I, a humble Wyvern, would be given it? Little did I know there was a reason the Pegasus who had the role prior relinquished the job. You see, most mounts fear the death of their rider. It would put them out of work and leave a black mark upon their record when applying for future endeavors. But bearing a Princess surely would be a safe, cushy job. After all, princesses are typically sheltered individuals with no interest in battle... at least that's what I thought before meeting Sasha. It became clear that the death of my rider was not an issue. No, for Sasha was the Grim Reaper in the guise of a mortal girl. She'd bait her prey in with her unassuming appearance, only to disembowel them with gusto, oftentimes looting the remains afterwards. Even her allies were unnerved by her presence... as if sensing the malefic aura exuded from her unassuming form. I, who was closest to her in the heat of battle, was witness to crimes that would drive strong men mad...

Not sure if this is a reference or just something you wrote yourself. Either way, that's absolutely amazing.

There's just one issue with it, though. You say that the pegasus Sasha had before "relinquished the job". That's assuming Sasha would let it go. It is a mistake to assume Sasha'd let anything go. And she did promote in the middle of a battle... perhaps that Wyvern should've taken a closer look at the bodies scattered across the battlefield before accepting the position.

Kefka's introduction in Final Fantasy VI, a case where initiative was taken in the writing of the dialogue that made the guy from "generic villain" into "batshit crazy and memorable for it".

Aha, I see. I like this dude's music.

Well, you can't do references to French Disney villains all the time without the Gaston song cropping up.

I mean, I only do references to the Disney villains I know. Read, Frollo. Full stop.

Yeah, but think how jealous it'd make Camilla.

Does it look like that changes anything for me?! Both of 'em can rot in a cesspool for all I care!

What does that say to you? He crossed Eugen's path and that face has been on him since.

Hahahahahaha, oh goodness. I'm betting he's spent every day of his recent life wishing he'd just gone back to Holmes when Eugen gave him The List.

Funny enough, my brother eats Carolina Reapers constantly. People assume because he eats them raw with no reaction, they aren't that hot, try to prove it, and end up in agony for the trouble.

Your brother's the Incredible Hulk?

While I can't say who came up with them, it's pretty simple. In war-time, it was basically a rule you'd use code-names for things so people who cracked your codes couldn't tell what you were talking about anyway. This results in terminology such as the Manhattan Project (the name for the development of the H-bomb), the use of the code names Fatman and Little Boy (that sounds like a super-hero and his sidekick) for the bombs used on Japan, and perhaps most notably, referring to certain vehicles not dissimilar to the one Tom uses as Tanks because they were labelled as the other type of tank that one stores water in during transport prior to their first use. Ergo, we have this mentality to thank for Tom.

I knew that, just wondering why they'd choose names such as Codha. Never knew that was the origin of the name "tank", though. That's amazing.

 

Even Lentzenheimer hates Lentzenheimer deep down, and has dreams about how horrible he is nightly.

Maybe that's why he was out in the streets when he found Arkis. He cannot sleep, because while he's sleeping, he feels the slightest twinge of guilt, and he can't have that.

Well, this explains how Kreiss is able to tolerate him. He's had practice. Also, I think Pengauis may have a new Waifu.

Nah, he's gay for Arkis. Can't go both ways, that'd be bi all means crazy.

...

...

...I'm sooooorrrrryyyyyyyyy...!

Either that or Lina's a bit of a crazy and dyed her hair and started dressing in the same colours as Arkis because of an obsession. Very worrying indeed.

Either way, poor, poor Kreiss. His best friend and his sister are a mess, and next chapter he's going to lose his lover. He'll get her back, of course, but still... what a shitty life that man leads.

Probably looking for his favourite establishment because it seems to have burned down and he can't understand why the lot is vacant.

Hahahahahahah, good theory.

He didn't want to marry her... but he was fine screwing her.

Oh, please... she's underaged! She was said to be 14 or 15 (can't remember which, but it was definitely one of the two) in the Wellt banquet. Of course, Japan age of consent, forced marriage, yada yada... every 16 year old person (girls and boys both) is already thinking about sex all day every day anyway. Not me, of course, because I was a pure soul. Nah, I just vented my frustrations on my own and went on with my day. Still do, actually.

...I went on a bit of a tangent there. Where was I...? Ah, yes, distractions...

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog's Dr. Robotnik would be proud.

I can only assume, since I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.

Which really does prove he just attacked it aimlessly. Holmes never ceases to amaze.

That's Holmes for ya. He's got... very few redeeming qualities.

 

On 11/5/2019 at 3:31 PM, BrightBow said:

Come to think of it, it's actually kinda silly that Lina is the one who is struggling to keep up with Arkis and not the other way around. Maybe she is just putting up an act so that Arkis wouldn't feel like a complete failure for being outrun by an adolescent.

I can see that, actually. Either that, or she's trying to trick him so he leaves without her so she can just go back to bed, because, y'know, she was never in any inmediate danger at all until Arkis tried to be the hero of the day.

 

On 11/5/2019 at 6:31 PM, Hawkwing said:

The Assyrians were more brutal.

Hah. Ass. HUEHUEHUEHEUHAHEHAUHEAHHAHAUHEAUHEUAHEA.

...sorry.

Thank you! Even if the last few days weren't really all that relaxing. Blame the job search, doing a few chores around the house, and (trying) to spend time practicing my CAD skills with a different software. And I still have to overcome bad sleeping habits and getting easily distracted.

Jeez, dude, take it easy. You can't just stress yourself like this.

On the bright side, I have beaten all Ducklife games. And am close to beating Echoes again. And discovered Cinemawins.

Isn't that great. Have fun with all!

I mean, I kinda already was. I suppose this just added something to the list.

Hahahah, oh, well. Too bad.

Too late! Game over, pal!

This can't be happening! I... can't... lose...!

In that context, I was talking about sacrificing the book in order to survive, and I could ask God for forgiveness for doing so. If I was asked to give up the word, then I would  not and will not do so, even if it leads to me becoming a martyr.

Interesting.

Not taking a whole lot of time combined with me not thinking about leg length and the person not announcing they would attempt it all combined together to give me a groin attack. I still shouldn't have stood in front of them, though. The lesson was learned, even if my back prevents me from applying it on a trampoline now.

I like how long the whole conversation of you getting hit in the balls has gone for.

...The playtester for that mechanic must have completely sucked if IS thought that amount was reasonable.

Or they thought the higher difficulties were really just that hard.

To be fair, the highest difficulty is balls, not as much as FE12's, but very balls still. But even there it's unreasonable.

Isn't that the game that broke a word record for most swear words? Or is that the sequel?

I... have no idea. They're mafia games, I mean, everyone knows mafiosos say fuck every second word.

They did dig their own grave at points, I agree.

Sadly, some of those games rocked.

That... doesn't make it any better.

Sorry, but that's how it is.

Not really, if I'm being honest. As much as people joke that Awakening is "shipping emblem", it's really not that large of a focus. Sure, there are child units, marriage affects the endings, there are some dialogue differences and other small change between married pairs, and the avatar gets a special confession, but that's really it. There are no dating scenes, no love triangles, and no dialogue choices like there are in other games.

Heck, you can see the mechanics entirely from a gameplay perspective if you so wish, and not even from a "eugenics simulator" direction. It can really be as simple as "these two units have great synergy on the battlefield together, and I want to give them the exclusive support bonuses so that they become even more powerful". And you can even pair characters up less because you like the pairing or think it's a cute couple, but because you like how two characters interact and want to see more of their supports.

I see.

Yep. I'm in the US of A. In the mitten of America, actually. On the left side, just above the wrist.

Aha.

Does that mean you're fat, like every person in the US?

Just like game reviews, if it's not an 8, 9, or 10, it sucks, with a 7 being a C.

Hm. Well, a lot of that depends on one's perception. Back when I was still a good student, anything under 7 was absolute crap for me.

Man, I do not miss those days.

You're welcome! It made the slaver even more despicable, and helped explain his behavior that the game didn't bother to delve into.

That was the intention.

As much as I like the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book series, I understand the differences between writing a book and making a videogame. Considering the amount of time and money needed to animate each scene, program the choices in, and record the actors lines and so on, I can see why several videogames cut corners to get the product out on time.

Then they shouldn't advertise their games as if they had all these branching stories when that isn't true.

Doesn't mean it can't be done. I've heard that Alpha Protocol is pretty dang good at having the story be widely different depending on who you trust and backstab, with some storylines and characters not even appearing depending on your actions. Haven't played the game myself, though, so I can't confirm it.

I could tlel you about a really obscure RPG maker game called Sentience: A Droid's Tale. You control a sentient android, and while there's a fix sequence of things that happen and locations you go to, the amount of power you have over the turns the story takes is astounding. You can save everybody, be a perfect beacon of kindness and awesomeness, and get the goody-two-shoes ending; or you can help the game's villain murder everybody, and become his lackey as he raises an army of aliens to serve him. The game does not punish you for going either way. It's rather amazing. I haven't seen too many games that let you become a terrible asshole to the extent of that one. Just for that, I respect it.

The creator also made the Deed games, which are basically murder scenarios, except instead of the detective, you play as the killer. You need to frame somebody else successfully, and there's an extreme amount of different endings for each scenario (there's four of 'em, one's the first game, and the other three are the second game).

Skinned/eaten alive is another one, although I can understand not doing the former, and the latter would require more set-up.

Eaten alive...? What, you wanted me to make my self-insert cannibalize somebody?

Sounds like a similar story to Toby Fox, who was a self-taught musician and then made Undertale. Amazing what a single person can create, and how much it can take off.

Yeah, Undertale's music is amazing, I've got to admit.

Fair enough, even if it doesn't apply in the future when national landscapes change.

To be fair, it seemed the walls were just a short-term solution. According to Eugen, they were built in a very short amount of time.

It was a code name. They thought the bomb looked fat. The names for the other nuclear bombs were the thin man and the little boy, so they had a theme naming going on.

I understand. If I stole a top secret document and read that Codha was going to explode and kill everyone, I'd shit my pants.

Fair enough. And thinking back, it's not like Fire Emblem is the best with reoccurring bosses. Especially when you can surround them and somehow they still retreat, even without warping powers.

Or when you stab them in the dick and they go "hurr durr retreating". That's always wonky. Quite often unavoidable, but...

I knew that (I'm curious how well it worked, but that's a discussion for another time). Echoes came to mind because most characters only have 1 or 2 support partners total, but the bonuses they get go a long way in showing why they're so limited. Turing an unsure hit rate into 100% and with some added crit and avoid truly does make a difference.

That applies to the entire series, honestly. Supports have always been kinda broken.

I actually learned yesterday that bullets and arrows actually don't go straight through the body. Instead, they take the path of least resistance. So a person shot in the hip can have the bullet come out of their knee, or a person shot in the arm can have it travel through their bloodstream.

Oh, hey. I got it right by getting enough parts wrong. Ain't that grand.

Ah, right. Now I remember.

Kinda hard to forget, but okay, I'll forgive you.

Of course Kaga did.

On a side note, why did Juni and the unnamed dancer/cleric have shoulder pads on their slaver costume? There doesn't appear to be any practical point to it.

I guess they're just there to hold a cape for any dances that might require one. Other than that, it's just for show.

You do have to wonder what benched units do with their time. It would be neat if they occasionally did their own thing if you didn't use them on certain maps, but I can see the complications that would arise from implementing such a mechanic.

In my last LP, they were fending off a time-distorting maniac. That was hilarious.

Matthis took the words out of my mouth. The first, part, anyway.

Hahahahah, too bad you clarified, otherwise I'd be able to say you don't read.

Sounds a lot like Celica (and later Conrads) situation. All that's needed now is a knight being unjustly blamed for the fire.

Hmmm...

I'm debating whether he should receive a nasty death or a humiliating one. How about both?

You'll see. I've got plans for the guy.

I'm curious how this decision will work out storywise.

Also, nice to see one-man armies be addressed in this fashion. Fire Emblem never really pays attention to that fact about itself.

Friendly reminder that, apparently, 10 units = thousands upon thousands of troops, according to Barker.

Unless it's the start of a case scene in an adventure game...

Hwahahah, nah, I doubt it.

Nope!

Yeah...

They're so similar I temporarily forgot all the backstory and thought Arkis was rescuing his sister for a moment there. It would be magnificent irony if they're so similar that they repel each other. Just like a magnet!

I mean, Arkis does find her to be rather annoying.

Logic and sense clocked out for the day, and the story decided to work without them again.

Guess even Runan's route isn't completely immune to the story taking an off day.

Ah, it's not completely hopeless in this case. You just need a solid headcanon, like, say, he was out to find homeless people to stab.

...problematically, I can imagine him doing that.

Guess spending so long on the bench did wonders to his head. Not like there was much there in the first place.

Maybe I should just kill him off, for the greater good.

Ah, so that's where the music came from.

Where did the chipmunk originally come from?

Dunno, the meme's older than a good chunk of the planet's population. It's probably not even with us anymore.

I remember this guy! Yay! He returned!

How do you remember this guy and not... everyone who's relevant to the plot?

"Still a better job situation than Reptile" was the first thing that came to mind when I read that, for some reason.

Don't worry. He finally gets a caring boss in MKX... and then time shenanigans happen in the next game.

Reptile and the Royal Historian of Wellt: Terrible Bossman Story.

3 out of 5. Although, I did have to reach for this one. Still good enough for me.

That's an understatement.

Right?

As despicable as this guy is, he has a hilariously childish side. Ah, if only it was shown more often...

He did murder his own mother over a scolding. In a really morbid way, that's an extremely childish thing to do. The kind that only a child deprived of all morals and sense of right and wrong would do, but Lentzenheimer fits that description like a glove.

Pirate hunters? Nah, Holmes reputation isn't infamous enough for that...

...Scratch that. They might be actual pirates trying to save the little that's left of their good name.

Knowing Holmes, it's more likely he's just cruising around without any idea of what he's doing or where he's going.

They'll attempt broadside fire at all times and will try to avoid ramming into the enemy ship?

Nah, we'll just use our units, as usual.

I haven't played Pirates! Live the Life! in several months. Ah, I need to return to that game again...

Please do.

 

On 13/5/2019 at 9:01 PM, Pengaius said:

Well I want him to suffer more. Keep in mind Hawkwing could kill him with a chair. And a Bible!

Good point.

It would be a hilarious move on Kaga's part to show off Lentzie's army but when you show up you just get a dialogue from Arkis just being. 

“Heya lord Runan, I've reclaimed our homeland and killed that vile Lentzenheimer, here take his fancy sword. By the way this is my fiancé Lina, she's also Kreiss' sister and she's joking the army for some arbitrary reason, well if you need me I'll be on the bench taking a nap. G'night."

Yeah, except Arkis would get shredded by Lentzie's generics.

I mean maybe he found her insufferable because she seems to be obsessed with Arkis to the point of dying her hair and copying his mannerisms, creepy. 

I know, right? She doesn't even look like she's related to Kreiss! She's so foolish. Kreiss is way cooler than Arkis!

Probably just to kill them, or drug and sell them. 

I like how this is everybody's default go-to option.

Gather our most skilled soldiers- proceeds to field Arkis. (Either his troops suck or he just genuinely doesn't understand how combat works) 

Nah, that's later.

What, she's just a child what do you take me for? 

I don't know, the kind of guy you've proven to be multiple times over in this thread?

Oh also Ruben I think you should let Arkis solo 26A with all the statboosters and knights crest for the s&giggles. 

Yeah... what about I use Shirou instead? I can promote him, unlike Arkis.

 

On 14/5/2019 at 10:49 AM, Mad-manakete said:

Well, seeing as I'm doing replies now, I may as well give our patron Saint another song (that I intended for next update). This one, I call "The Last of Granada's Privateers", and have based on the song "The Last of Barrett's Privateers"

  Hide contents

Oh, the year was 2019
How I wish I was in Verje right now
We dropped Runan off to fight a war,
From the scummiest vessel I've ever saw,
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


Oh, Shigen, Garo, cried the town
How I wish I was in Wellt right now
For many brave men all of who
Would make for Holmes the Sea Lion's crew
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


The Sea Lion's captain was not particularly bright
How I wish I was in Salia right now
His head in the clouds, his thoughts ran astray,
And he couldn't remember his goals for a day,
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


When we met Katri we'd put to sea
How I wish I was in Reeve right now
We were wandering the land with no goal to pursue,
Because our leader's thick as a chunky beef stew
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


After leaving Katri with law we sailed again
How I wish I was in Razelia right now
With finally a reason for our actions in sight,
With the Dakruon in tow we'd revive those we'd lost in a fight,
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


Now our captain spotted a sight
How I wish I were in bed right now
He'd sighted a ship, and we never knew,
Why we were sent to battle it's crew,
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


We took a detour to free Granada that day
How I wish I were in Runan's team right now
Holmes never liked his father, he hated his guts
But he went to take Granada back because he was nuts
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


The Sea Lion's crew were sick of this crap.
How I wish I were dead right now
They told Holmes they were sick of being led astray,
So they up and all walked away.
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers

So here I sit in a bar in Blaad,
How I wish I was anywhere else right now
It's been 6 years since they walked away
And we just made it back here yesterday
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers

 

This is amazing. How I wish we did have the option to just walk away from Holmes, too.

 

Something else:

Spoiler

Fun fact: over the course of three days, I completely forgot about this chapter and actually uploaded the images meant for the next update. I only remembered this existed when I tried to make a callback to this, and realized that, heck, I never did show you guys this. Take that as you will.

Today's map. These guys are certainly a step above Bismarck's crew. They're sporting fancier weaponry and ballistae. There's also a huge chunk of empty sea to the north of the map. Sure that's just Kaga being really proud of his sea texture, though. It's a tougher map than Bismarck's, and it can catch you off-guard if you're not careful, but it's a really short chapter.

First order of business, Sierra.

Here's a fun fact for ya: "sierra" is Spanish for (among other things) "saw". As in, the saw you use to cut things.

Not that thing. Spanish for scythe is "guadaña".

Sigh... and Spanish for this? "Mierda". "Puta mierda inmunda".

At any rate, Garo and The Roger lead the charge, since it seemed to work out all right for 'em last time.

Every time The Roger vantage's somebody, I wish this game had the same deal as Berwick, where dealing damage cancels out counterattacks.

I then proceed to cry because I remember that Berwick's still not out. Oh, well. At any rate, it seems Thracia will be released pretty soon. That'll do for a neat distraction. It had the first dark mage in the series, I want to see how he plays. Also, August. It's going to be a joy to watch August with a real translation. The man's nearly as much of a badass as Eugen.

Garo takes some minimal damage.

Sierra isn't quite as sturdy, but she'll just barely survive a critical hit, so I'm breathing.

Also, she dodged. This woman's too good.

The Roger takes on one last enemy, and the enemy phase ends. Mel, reward your fiance's efforts!

Teach 'em the cost of crossing us, Maruj!

Tom dodges an arrow. Always love to see that.

Yeah, we're shredding these guys to pieces. Praeva's forces may be stronger than Bismarck's, but they still aren't all that great.

You fool, who tried to attack Sierra... suffer the wrath of the reaper itself!

Three turns, and already half the ship is ours. The remaining troops are too scared to face us. We'll have to bring the fight to them.

Hmph... those two ballistae might be a problem. Good thing I'm not using Frau, or else she would've been swatted right out of the sky.

Instead, we get to watch some more stupidity. What the heck do you mean, "Tom dodged the attack!"? He did not dodge that! It nailed him, square and true!

Tom, you're the best.

At this point, I got pretty paranoid and decided to outfit Sierra with some defensive items. Best be safe than sorry, am I right?

The problem with boat chapters is that movement is really cumbersome. Units on foot have to walk all the way around the stairs. That means that, to get to the second level from the tile Garo's standing on, you need not one but four movement points. It's awful.

Speaking of things that are awful...

Yow! It's an enemy ambush!

Let's teach these pirates a lesson! For Sophia!!

So these guys just arrived. Xyon's reinforcements, the Wyvern Corps! They aren't that great, but they've got pilums, and they fly.

Challan is a step above his peers, but he's nothing compared to the Condor Squad. If my plans work, he won't even reach the ship.

To that end, we must conquer the deck quickly. Well, as quickly as this ungodly terrain allows.

The Roger and Holmes team up to defeat one of the Knights.

Sierra gets ready to do some nosferatanking. In hindsight, she didn't really need nosferatu for this, but oh well.

Yeah, that was completely unnecessary.

Still, always a treat to see these animations.

Challan and pals approach the shit.

I was going to fix that typo, but naaaah...

N-n-nope!

With Challan's guys approaching, I decide it's about time we got rid of these stupid ballistae.

Unlike other mages, Sierra's animations change when she gets a crit.

Perfect.

Roger, you're next. Teach them to fear the name of The Roger The Paladin!

Now, I've got a pretty funny idea. Let's see if this works...

D'awww he can't reach Challan. Oh, well.

There's nobody left to challenge us other than the Wyverns and Praeva. The Wyverns worry me, but I can't see Praeva being much of an issue...

...why, yes. Only now did I bother to take a look at Praeva. His stats are not too great or anything, but see that? Brave sword? Yeah. Sierra's fucked, and The Roger isn't too far off that, either.

At this point, I just amaze myself. Simply genial. I'm just the greatest tactician to have ever played FE. Urgh...

My only hope now is to bring this asshole down inmediately. That'll end the map. C'mon...!

Oh, yeah, he also has a shield. That means I am unable to finish him off right now.

Well, if nothing else, let's at least make sure to erase some of that flying heat. Take a gander at that damage! It's beautiful.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOM five points!

Ergh... c'mon, Garo! A crit from the brave axe will just barely be enough to kill him in one shot, and you've got two chances to do it. Don't disappoint me, now...!

NOOOO! THAT'S NOT IT!

Fuck me sideways. At least he dodged one of the counterattacks. He's in no danger of dying, but... yeah. Place your bets, is it going to be The Roger, or Sierra? The Roger will cost us one of our only two and a half (Plum does not count as a real healer) healers (not to mention, The Roger), but Sierra has Warp...

Fucking hell, he can't even reach Holmes so we'll just get a reset. Blistering barnacles, why!? Why can't I... goddamn my impatience! If I had just waited a turn...!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOP! LEAVE HER AL--

...eh...?

...OOOOHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! HE WENT TO HEAL! HE WENT TO HEAL INSTEAD OF TEARING SIERRA TO PIECES! YES! FUCK YEAH, I LUCKED OUT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

Ahhhh, don't you just love it when things go as planned? I totally had that planned. It all went exaaaaaaaaactly as I predicted it.

In all seriousness, I'm truly thankful that Praeva's a snivelling coward. Instead of trying to at least die bringing one of us down, he decided to attempt to lengthen his own life. In doing so, he ensured that we'd all survive, and he's going to die before long anyway. Thanks, you bumbling imbecile! Bwahahahahahahahahah!

Still, we must finish this right about now. If we don't, the Wyverns will destroy Tom.

Really? A single scrubby soldier? What the heck is this? Is this truly the best the empire has to offer? You had exactly one chance to do any significant damage to us, and you blew it! You're a terrible generic bossman, Praeva!

Speaking of generic bossmen, let's do away with this one. Just for shits and giggles. And the sweet boss experience.

Sorry, I can't hear anything. You're too far away to do anything to us.

Not too far away to prevent this, though!

Buh-bye, Challan. We barely knew you. Your name was really ugly. That's about it.

...you son of a-- he had the last laugh after all! Dastard!

Once more. Do better this time around, Tom!

I mean, that technically is better than the last one you got, but...

Well, at any rate, I should get moving. I don't want to give the Wyverns or Praeva a chance to really do us harm. Another one, I mean.

Let's get working on Praeva, then.

Oh, you've got to be kidding me... somebody's pulling my leg, and it's the RNGoddess, as usual!

Well, at any rate, it's over.

Holmes takes care of the last Wyvern within our reach. Meanwhile, The Roger levels up. Redeem this chapter, please.

Hell! Why, why must this happen?!

Hey, let's have San do something!

Aaaand that's about it!

Garo couldn't take the last bosskill. He'll take this one to compensate.

There, it's done.

Forget? You no longer have a brain to forget or remember anything, you dumbass.

I'd complain, but he already has max strength, and is only one point away from his speed cap. Luck is something he could use, so I'm okay with this. Also, that's mastery capped as well, not that that changes anything.

Another one of these? Where's the brave lance?

Well, that's been the map. It got pretty intense there, but we came out all right. I'm glad. Next time, more plot, as we go back to see what Lentzenheimer's up to. Please, be safe. Until next time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Death count: Attrom
                        Juliattisnacordst
                        Sharon
                        Krishna
                        Indiana Jones

Reset count: 2 (Runan: 1 - Katri: 1)

Dullahan's done with my incompetence: 6

 

[Punished Dayni]

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I've gotten kinda lost, actually. Does that count as an r/woooosh?

The song itself is a joke (as was me going into why I was suggesting build that wall 'round Donegal)

Then again, I'd still think it's more sensible than either of Trump's wall ideas.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

To be entirely fair, this is just the impression I got from when I played for five minutes a long time ago. I could be wrong.

I mean, I powered through with the issues FE4 had really.

So for me, I'm not as observant of those issues. Then Chapter 2/7 happens and it all starts coming back.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I won't deny that Kaga's FEs are badly balanced in general, but the thing is, with this game's maps being as they are, the gap between infantry and cavalry is at the widest it's ever been in the series. There's just no point in using infantry when everybody who uses a horse can curbstomp the game just as well. You could argue it's always been like this, that horseriders have always been the best unit, but the thing is, in the other games you can use infantry if you want, even if it's not as much of a good idea. This game makes it so tedious with its horrendously big maps, it's less of a challenge and more of an exercise on boredom.

Again, this might just be my mistaken impression, but everything I know about the game points towards this.

I would still disagree there's no point using infantry, with the sheer size of enemy forces only the most OP of cavs would not require more support than the rest of the cav forces and in a game where splitting up is expected, I do think having uses for the rest of your army should be expected.

The A-rank for this game is 400 turns, 100 more than for HHM BS. This will likely require you still using those units, definitely if you're trying to get the AAAA rank.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, the whole pairing thing strikes me as something that's a much, much crappier version of GBA supports: if you don't do it, you're fucked in the second generation, and if you do it, you break the game even harder than you can with supports in GBA. Not to mention it seems to take even longer than GBA supports. And the holy weapons are just unreasonable.

I don't know, it simply doesn't strike me as a game I'd enjoy. Never did like mindless stompfests where only a select few can be reasonably used.

Reasonably few can be used is a bit overstated for Genealogy imo. Yes, you can go soloing with Sigurd, but I think that takes away from making a useful force in 

Pairings also absolutely need reworking for a remake, that I would not dispute. Maybe I'm also okay with ridiculous kids in G2 considering that the game throws some BS at you (Not that it can't be done without them).

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You sure like giants. I'm more fond of giantesses, myself. Heh... a-ahem, moving right on, distractions, distractions...

Just kind of thought on it when I was confirming which group Mac Lir belonged to, the Fir Bolg had giants among them, I got to thinking.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Okay, Daniel.

Now's when that's really it and you call the cops on me

I should stop telling you no.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Fun fact: over the course of three days, I completely forgot about this chapter and actually uploaded the images meant for the next update. I only remembered this existed when I tried to make a callback to this, and realized that, heck, I never did show you guys this. Take that as you will.

That this is filler to the max?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sigh... and Spanish for this? "Mierda". "Puta mierda inmunda".

I'll be honest, bit harsh on her there, least she got skill.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Tom dodges an arrow. Always love to see that.

He keeps missing arrows in the tank.

Does that mean he is.... the one?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The problem with boat chapters is that movement is really cumbersome. Units on foot have to walk all the way around the stairs. That means that, to get to the second level from the tile Garo's standing on, you need not one but four movement points. It's awful.

So you're saying Kaga did stairs movement first?

Kaga dammit, this is terrible!

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Challan is a step above his peers, but he's nothing compared to the Condor Squad. If my plans work, he won't even reach the ship.

I mean, he could still survive.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Perfect.

I mean, I keep thinking of that one song about the devil with these spells.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...why, yes. Only now did I bother to take a look at Praeva. His stats are not too great or anything, but see that? Brave sword? Yeah. Sierra's fucked, and The Roger isn't too far off that, either.

At this point, I just amaze myself. Simply genial. I'm just the greatest tactician to have ever played FE. Urgh...

Simply spectacular.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, if nothing else, let's at least make sure to erase some of that flying heat. Take a gander at that damage! It's beautiful.

That is absolutely concerning.

Tom's outside his tank! He's doomed!

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

In all seriousness, I'm truly thankful that Praeva's a snivelling coward. Instead of trying to at least die bringing one of us down, he decided to attempt to lengthen his own life. In doing so, he ensured that we'd all survive, and he's going to die before long anyway. Thanks, you bumbling imbecile! Bwahahahahahahahahah!

Shigen doesn't appreciate it as much.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Buh-bye, Challan. We barely knew you. Your name was really ugly. That's about it.

I'm disappointed you didn't do a ballista edit.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'd complain, but he already has max strength, and is only one point away from his speed cap. Luck is something he could use, so I'm okay with this. Also, that's mastery capped as well, not that that changes anything.

He did increase his luck by 33%.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

If this was intended to be depressing, there's no way her parents would be ready and waiting for her.

So many things that what happened to her might cause I'd rather not think on.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He could still run away again.

Knowing his luck, he'd run into General Lawrence. Or more likely Law, who'd exposit on the power of friendship through Carluon or something.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, this is Margaret.

Pretty sure stern's always her default.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I don't remember that nickname.

I'd say she's more like a "Marching Queen" or "Lady Landslide".

[BrightBow]

Sadly Sierra's growths are even a bit worse then those of the rest of the mages. None of her growths except HP are above 25%.

Edited May 15, 2019 by BrightBow

[eclipse]

This is a Christian server, randomly swearing in Spanish is not allowed!

[Punished Dayni]

3 hours ago, Dayni said:

Reasonably few can be used is a bit overstated for Genealogy imo. Yes, you can go soloing with Sigurd, but I think that takes away from making a useful force in 

It happened again. I swear, do I need a proofreader?

"Reasonably few can be used is a bit overstated for Genealogy imo. Yes, you can go soloing with Sigurd, but I think that takes away from making a useful force and can backfire hard if you make a mistake you can't undo (something that to be fair is possible with the way money's handled)."

[Hawkwing]

10 hours ago, Mad-manakete said:

Long story short, I put way too much thought into a rhetorical question and came to the conclusion there's only so many ways a person can be murdered before aspects repeat.

In other words, there's nothing knew under the sun.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hah. Ass. HUEHUEHUEHEUHAHEHAUHEAHHAHAUHEAUHEUAHEA.

...sorry.

Apology accepted. That is the correct spelling, by the way.

They also skinned people alive.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Jeez, dude, take it easy. You can't just stress yourself like this.

I visited a job fair yesterday. Have a stack of business cards, and gave out the majority of my resumes. Even got a call to set up an interview today.

I'm also auditing a machining class. I wake up at 6 AM every day and stay there until 4:30 or 5 PM. Don't get any credit for it, and I have to pay if I want to take any tests, but it is free and it's getting rid of cobwebs that have built up since I haven't touched a manual lathe or mill in 2 to 3 years. It is also a good way to pass the time during the job search.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I like how long the whole conversation of you getting hit in the balls has gone for.

I'm surprised it lasted this long myself.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Does that mean you're fat, like every person in the US?

I weigh 108 pounds. Sometimes 109 or 110.

I have a fast metabolism, and I tend walk/run around when I'm thinking, which is pretty much all the time. That's my thoughts on it, anyway.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I could tlel you about a really obscure RPG maker game called Sentience: A Droid's Tale. You control a sentient android, and while there's a fix sequence of things that happen and locations you go to, the amount of power you have over the turns the story takes is astounding. You can save everybody, be a perfect beacon of kindness and awesomeness, and get the goody-two-shoes ending; or you can help the game's villain murder everybody, and become his lackey as he raises an army of aliens to serve him. The game does not punish you for going either way. It's rather amazing. I haven't seen too many games that let you become a terrible asshole to the extent of that one. Just for that, I respect it.

Huh, interesting. I think I'll check the game out when I have the ti-

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The creator also made the Deed games, which are basically murder scenarios, except instead of the detective, you play as the killer. You need to frame somebody else successfully, and there's an extreme amount of different endings for each scenario (there's four of 'em, one's the first game, and the other three are the second game).

...On second thought...

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Eaten alive...? What, you wanted me to make my self-insert cannibalize somebody?

I mean, a random lion could have escaped the circus and prowled the streets, before thinking that the slaver would make for a good snack. Or a giant worm could appear and swallow the slaver whole. Or you could recreate the ant scene from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Point is, there are a lot of options to choose from, both fictional and real.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

To be fair, it seemed the walls were just a short-term solution. According to Eugen, they were built in a very short amount of time.

That makes more sense. In other words, Zepp was getting desperate while playing Stronghold, and still had stone to spare.

Except if he had played Stronghold before, then he would have known that the enemy loves to ignore your carefully thought out castle and head immediately for the one spot you forgot to cover. And Stronghold: Crusader has deserts that everyone travels through just fine, sooooo....

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Or when you stab them in the dick and they go "hurr durr retreating". That's always wonky. Quite often unavoidable, but...

I'm still waiting for the time when said reoccurring enemy looses a limb from the ordeal, and comes back with a mechanical/magical arm or leg.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You'll see. I've got plans for the guy.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, it's not completely hopeless in this case. You just need a solid headcanon, like, say, he was out to find homeless people to stab.

...problematically, I can imagine him doing that.

Perhaphs Lentzhiemer was annoyed by the grumbling of the peasants when he raised the rice tax, and was so mad that he decided to make an example of them. Instead, that only incurred a rebellion, who's fires were fanned by a "random ronin". This leads to further loss of land and thus less soldiers.

This is why having high honor is important before attempting anything shorthanded. If only those villains would realize that they could gain it back by rescuing priests, fighting ninjas, and defending the innocent from bandits, instead of attempting kidnappings, assassinations and giving out thinly veiled threats over and over again. At the very least, I wish they would be brave enough to defend their ancestors when I tell them that they hauled dung, so that I could honorably cut down the nuisance and let them die like a Samurai instead of a dog.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

How do you remember this guy and not... everyone who's relevant to the plot?

Being fair, viewing this topic on mobile always skips to that update, for some reason. That, and I like pragmatic villains. And I read some past updates to pass the time occasionally.

Amazing how certain comments gain a different perspective in hindsight.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Reptile and the Royal Historian of Wellt: Terrible Bossman Story.

Heh heh heh heh hahahahahahaha!

Oh man, I would actually play that.

Shao Khan being playable without any strings attached is worth it on it's own.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He did murder his own mother over a scolding. In a really morbid way, that's an extremely childish thing to do. The kind that only a child deprived of all morals and sense of right and wrong would do, but Lentzenheimer fits that description like a glove.

I thought about that when making the joke, but decided to leave it out for responses like this.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nah, we'll just use our units, as usual.

...I was talking about the enemy.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Fun fact: over the course of three days, I completely forgot about this chapter and actually uploaded the images meant for the next update. I only remembered this existed when I tried to make a callback to this, and realized that, heck, I never did show you guys this. Take that as you will.

The boat maps are all pretty samey.

At least Gaiden used them as an opportunity to show that arcanists will use healing spells when given the chance as well as how cantors work. There were some good ideas with the map design.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sigh... and Spanish for this? "Mierda". "Puta mierda inmunda".

I thank and curse thee for teaching me some Spanish swear words.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Instead, we get to watch some more stupidity. What the heck do you mean, "Tom dodged the attack!"? He did not dodge that! It nailed him, square and true!

Elthunder in this game is amazing.

Picturing Tom stunt driving a tank to dodge the blast is even more so.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yow! It's an enemy ambush!

I predicted that there would be reinforcements on such a large map.

I do question why there are only three of them, though.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So these guys just arrived. Xyon's reinforcements, the Wyvern Corps! They aren't that great, but they've got pilums, and they fly.

Wyvern corps? Did this game steal from Fantasy General?

By the way, more fantasy games, books, movies, etc., need to have their military forces separated by official corps.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Perfect.

Awesome crit, even if it it looks like Sierra is the lead singer of a rock band.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

In all seriousness, I'm truly thankful that Praeva's a snivelling coward. Instead of trying to at least die bringing one of us down, he decided to attempt to lengthen his own life. In doing so, he ensured that we'd all survive, and he's going to die before long anyway. Thanks, you bumbling imbecile! Bwahahahahahahahahah!

Ironic. In an attempt to save his life, he instead doomed it.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Buh-bye, Challan. We barely knew you. Your name was really ugly. That's about it.

That's... not the face of a man who just took a ballista bolt to the che-

On second thought, that's exactly the face of a man who's looking at the ballista bolt in his chest.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So that's how she's alive.

Wonder what will happen if they try using the stone when the person is still alive.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nice callback. I'm not certain if the inn owner ever got her comeuppance, though. Especially if she could just find another businessperson...

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I really like these random smiles in the middle of this conversation

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Glad to see this side of the story is moving along. A good breather after what happened last time.

[The Roger The Paladin]

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Fuck that, I'll sink with the "DS actually had pretty great character art!" ship if it costs me my life. Everyone in SNES looks the same and the hair looks like it belongs in a comedic slice-of-life anime.

I'll second that I like the DS character art. Not necessarily going to say anything on the SNES art.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah, but I needed the thing to... y'know, make sense? Sorta? Not that "self-insert Gary Stu powers!" is much better, but where exactly would he have gotten two boats in the middle of Salia?

Plus, you would've had to make your self-insert a terrible person to carry that out.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Not sure if this is a reference or just something you wrote yourself. Either way, that's absolutely amazing.

There's just one issue with it, though. You say that the pegasus Sasha had before "relinquished the job". That's assuming Sasha would let it go. It is a mistake to assume Sasha'd let anything go. And she did promote in the middle of a battle... perhaps that Wyvern should've taken a closer look at the bodies scattered across the battlefield before accepting the position.

Well, the pegasus did relinquish the job to some extent, given that she's not riding it it into battle. Even if it's still around... it's not doing what it used to and we all know damn well why. On the other issue, I'm going with the angle Wally is a bit naive. As for the content, I kind of winged it (pun unintended) and got a suitable back-cover blurb.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Aha, I see. I like this dude's music.

Besides the fact Kefka had good music, his introduction set him apart from any Final Fantasy villain prior. We got to see how unhinged he was right off the bat with him worrying about sand on his boots in the middle of a goddamn desert. Which is funny because he was a much more straight-laced villain in the original plot outline. The addition of that line during development changed the character's tone and made him from just another villain to one of the most popular in the series because he was batshit crazy.

I feel this actually made Final Fantasy VI a lot stronger a game over-all, as I'm of the school of thought that a story is only as good as it's villain allows. My go to example is why I consider Batman or Spider-man tend to do so well. One look at their rogues galleries, and you'll see they aren't just large, but memorable. Characters with poorer casts of enemies tend to go through more rough patches sales-wise. We've seen this with Wonder Woman at points in her decades long run despite popularity of the character (doesn't help most people can't name 5 of her foes without resorting to Greco-Roman Gods or a google search), or Aquaman (who has suffered way too many cancellations due to said rough patches). We've seen from both examples movies it's not that either Wonder Woman or Aquaman aren't viable. It's merely a matter of use... and if you only have so many foes then you tend to be more likely to double up on storylines.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Your brother's the Incredible Hulk?

Given that my father is Odin, you'd think a Norse God like Thor would be more apt. I think feats of strength and endurance run in the family. Said brother once entered a chili eating contest. The other contestants were all larger than him, and he was mocked, expected to have zero chance. The contest was first to four bowls eaten wins. Most of the opponents submitted by the end of the second bowl. By the time my brother finished his third bowl, his one remaining opponent, who was starting his own third bowl quit on the grounds he had no chance of catching him. My brother proceeded to eat the fourth bowl just to prove he didn't just win by default. My youngest brother (who I nicknamed apeboy because he punches like a gorilla), as I've told another forum user, is a boxer, and has had sparring matches with former world champion Michael Katsidis... who he apparently punches harder than according to mutual sparring partners. Then there's my grandfather's younger brother who was attacked by a mako while diving and ended up leaving the water having killed it and cut it's jaws out as a trophy... which we still have. Apeboy likes to call me the wuss of the family for not doing anything on the level of the others.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Oh, please... she's underaged! She was said to be 14 or 15 (can't remember which, but it was definitely one of the two) in the Wellt banquet. Of course, Japan age of consent, forced marriage, yada yada... every 16 year old person (girls and boys both) is already thinking about sex all day every day anyway. Not me, of course, because I was a pure soul. Nah, I just vented my frustrations on my own and went on with my day. Still do, actually.

...I went on a bit of a tangent there. Where was I...? Ah, yes, distractions...

I kind of know what you're talking about sort of. I've been oblivious to the point that women just assume it's disinterest.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I can only assume, since I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.

This. https://sonic.fandom.com/wiki/Super_Special_Sonic_Search_and_Smash_Squad

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Or when you stab them in the dick and they go "hurr durr retreating". That's always wonky. Quite often unavoidable, but...

Well to be fair, wouldn't you retreat if you were stabbed in such a region and had the slightest opportunity? (Noting these people usually don't have that)

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

I don't know, the kind of guy you've proven to be multiple times over in this thread?

You know, maybe we should let up on the poor guy a little. He was really helpful when Anacybele had that idiot impersonating her on fanfiction.net. All jokes about him aside, he's a pretty solid guy.

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

tents

Oh, the year was 2019
How I wish I was in Verje right now
We dropped Runan off to fight a war,
From the scummiest vessel I've ever saw,
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


Oh, Shigen, Garo, cried the town
How I wish I was in Wellt right now
For many brave men all of who
Would make for Holmes the Sea Lion's crew
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


The Sea Lion's captain was not particularly bright
How I wish I was in Salia right now
His head in the clouds, his thoughts ran astray,
And he couldn't remember his goals for a day,
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


When we met Katri we'd put to sea
How I wish I was in Reeve right now
We were wandering the land with no goal to pursue,
Because our leader's thick as a chunky beef stew
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


After leaving Katri with law we sailed again
How I wish I was in Razelia right now
With finally a reason for our actions in sight,
With the Dakruon in tow we'd revive those we'd lost in a fight,
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


Now our captain spotted a sight
How I wish I were in bed right now
He'd sighted a ship, and we never knew,
Why we were sent to battle it's crew,
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


We took a detour to free Granada that day
How I wish I were in Runan's team right now
Holmes never liked his father, he hated his guts
But he went to take Granada back because he was nuts
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers


The Sea Lion's crew were sick of this crap.
How I wish I were dead right now
They told Holmes they were sick of being led astray,
So they up and all walked away.
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers

So here I sit in a bar in Blaad,
How I wish I was anywhere else right now
It's been 6 years since they walked away
And we just made it back here yesterday
God damn them all! I was told
We'd cruise the seas for Zoa's gold
We'd fire our bows, shed no tears
But I'm a broken man on a Blaad pier
The last of Granada's Privateers

 

This is amazing. How I wish we did have the option to just walk away from Holmes, too.

One day we need to get someone with a singing voice to record these and make an album based on the LP. Probably throw in a variation of the Batman theme changed to "Bagman theme" as a bonus track. Then I'll see if I can write a few more songs (Unleash the The based off Under the Sea, Footballman based off Son of Man, and of course "I am Law", based off... "I am the Law")
 

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Tom dodges an arrow. Always love to see that.

Tom is my favourite dodgetank.

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Challan and pals approach the shit.

I was going to fix that typo, but naaaah...

It's a typo? I thought they were just aiming for Holmes.

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

In all seriousness, I'm truly thankful that Praeva's a snivelling coward. Instead of trying to at least die bringing one of us down, he decided to attempt to lengthen his own life. In doing so, he ensured that we'd all survive, and he's going to die before long anyway. Thanks, you bumbling imbecile! Bwahahahahahahahahah!

To be fair, self-preservation over "I'll take at least one of them with me" is a realistic motivation... even if it's ultimately futile. For A.I. stupidity, this makes a lot more sense than attacking someone you can't harm.

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...you son of a-- he had the last laugh after all! Dastard!

Damn. That's probably the most devastating thing he could have done. I thought his threats while being attacked with a ballista were all hot air, but obviously not. How many bosses does this make him more damaging than?

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Forget? You no longer have a brain to forget or remember anything, you dumbass.

Look he thinks he's in a telltale game. Explains why he made the wrong choice earlier, he thought both outcomes would be the same in the end.

7 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

17 hours ago, Mad-manakete said:

 

In other words, there's nothing knew under the sun.

Not quite. Human stupidity seems to be infinite. While one can only come up with so many good ideas... it's very easy to come up with a bad idea no one has done.

7 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

16 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

I'm still waiting for the time when said reoccurring enemy looses a limb from the ordeal, and comes back with a mechanical/magical arm or leg.

Or just a missing limb. And then keeps coming back one limb less each time until it's pretty much the black knight sequence from Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

7 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

16 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Being fair, viewing this topic on mobile always skips to that update, for some reason. That, and I like pragmatic villains. And I read some past updates to pass the time occasionally.

Amazing how certain comments gain a different perspective in hindsight.

I thought that was just happening for me, and I'm using a laptop. Go figure.