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FE has (blank) now!


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Path of Radiance: FE has furries now!
Awakening: FE has waifus now!
Fates: FE has poopy writing now!
Three Houses: FE has punching now!

Do your own I guess.

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1:FE has FE now!

2:FE has Gameplay now! (Ok, sorry..)

3:FE has a Vulnerary now! (Please don't kill me because of this joke, Lord Wrys..)

4:FE has Weapon Triangle now!

5:FE has (new) Mechanics now!

6:FE has Cute Map Sprites now!

7:FE has a MU now!

8:FE has Multiple Promotions to choose from now! (Not counting the Villager from FE2)

9:FE has Furries now!

10:FE has the most beautiful character now!

11:FE wants you to kill your allies now!

12:FE has a (playable) MU now!

13:FE has saved now!

14:FE too much games in one now!

15:FE has map voices now!

16:FE has Akihiko now!

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1: FE has begun, now!

2: FE is a traditional RPG now!

3: FE has graphics now!

4: FE has story now!

5: FE has BS now!

BSFE: FE is BS now!

6: FE has portability now!

7: FE has America now!

8: FE has Seth now!

9: FE has cat/bird/whatever girls now!

10: FE has wolf girls now!

11: FE has been remade now!

12: FE has customizable immersion-breaking avatars now!

13: FE has dating now!

14: FE has story BS now (at least, that’s what most say)!

FEH: FE has spinoffs now!

...And there goes my cash.

FE15: FE has full voice acting now!

FEW: FE has overkill now!

FE16: FE has schooling now!

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FE1: FE has been born now!

FE2: FE has crappy maps now!

FE3: FE has two parts now!

FE4: FE has messed up writing now!

FE5: FE has....uh....what does it have? I've never played it.

FE6: FE has a game on portability now!

FE7: FE has been to America now!

FE8: FE has twin lords now!

FE9: FE has Ike now!

FE10: FE has a buffer Ike now!

FE11: FE has reclassing now!

FE12: FE has avatars now!

FE13: FE has waifus and crappy writing now!

FE14: FE has more waifus and even crappier writing now!

FE15: FE has remade FE2, yet still has crappy maps now!

FE16: FE has boring art now!

Edited by Roland
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20 minutes ago, BergelomeuSantos said:

3:FE has a Vulnerary now! (Please don't kill me because of this joke, Lord Wrys..)

Spoiler

btaNKnm.png

I am Wrys, a humble hero.  I cannot fight [in Mystery of the Emblem because I was removed from that game], but this axe I carry can give you wounds [especially if you keep being a wise-ass].  Take me with you, or you'll be very dead [because I'll cleave you in two with my axe].

18 minutes ago, Azure in a Roundabout said:

7: FE has America now!

Spoiler

Jc8yI0B.jpg

Ahem, anyway...

Let's see what awful things I can say about every single game in the series.

FE1: Fire Emblem exists now!

FE2: Fire Emblem has shitty map design now!

FE3: Fire Emblem has cut content now!

FE4: Fire Emblem has bad trading mechanics now!

FE5: Fire Emblem has fog of war now!

FE6: Fire Emblem has bad unit balance now!

FE7: Fire Emblem has shitty western fans now!

FE8: Fire Emblem has shitty Ests now!

FE9: Fire Emblem has awful 3D graphics now!

FE10: Fire Emblem has protagonists stealing each others' spotlights now!

FE11: Fire Emblem has shitty recruitment requirements now!

FE12: Fire Emblem has annoying Gary Stu/Mary Sue avatars now!

FE13: Fire Emblem has time-travelling bullshit now!

FE14: Fire Emblem has bad business practices now!

FE15: Fire Emblem has shitty map design once again!

FEH: Fire Emblem has the worst business practices now!

FEW: Fire Emblem has no tactics now!

 

I'll wait until Three Houses is out before I give it flak.  Mostly because there's not really anything that sticks out to me that's unique and evidently awful about the game.  Schools neither counts nor is very funny.

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Pfft, waifus has been a thing for as long as I can remember!  Get off of my lawn!

Awakening: FE has a lot more localized names now!

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FE1: FE has bad translation patches now!

FE2: FE has bad/funny artwork now!

FE3: FE has decent sprites now!

FE4: FE has bad/boring characters now!

FE5: FE still has bad/boring characters now!

FE6: FE has decent characters now!

FE7: FE has great characters now!

FE8: FE has decent artwork now!

FE9: FE has Makalov now!

FE10: FE has Makalov now!

FE11: FE has great artwork now!

FE12: FE has Feena now! Fluttery!

FE13: FE has Severa now!

FE14: FE has boring ass story and characters now! And terrible gameplay!

FE15: FE has amazing artwork now! Shadows is such a good game! :3

Heroes: FE has a boring/confusing mobile game now!

Warriors: FE has a god awful Warriors game now!

I can tell that my FE4 and FE5 opinions are gonna be controversial... 

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Only games I've played/know something about:
FE4: FE('s fanbase) has a giant hard-on for horses now!
FE5: FE has interesting new mechanics that should absolutely return now!
FE6: FE has a remake that isn't a remake now!
FE7: FE has an overhyped lord character now! (That won't become a trend...)
FE8: FE has a Gary Stu main character now!
FE9: FE has good worldbuilding now!
FE10: FE has a controversial main character now!
FE11: FE has a real remake now!
FE12: FE has a real remake now! Again!
FE13: FE has good replayability now!
FE14: FE has an "I threw myself in the toilet and flushed three times!" button on its shirt now!
FE15: FE has its best art style now!
FEW: FE has clones now!
FEH: FE has predatory moneymaking now!

I'm going to hell for this, aren't I?

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1 hour ago, DragonFlames said:

I'm going to hell for this, aren't I?

Yes, but..

1 hour ago, DragonFlames said:

FE5: FE has interesting new mechanics that should absolutely return now!

You're now saved.

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FE2: Fire Emblem has zombies now!

FE2: Fire Emblem has ninjas now!

FE2: Fire Emblem has ninja pirates now!

FE2: Fire Emblem has death quotes now!

FE2: FIre Emblem has tragic endings now!

FE2: Fire Emblem has subverted cliches that later games would play straight now!

FE3: Fire Emblem has Marth wear pants now!

FE3: Kaga is cynical when writing stories now!

FE4: Fire Emblem lacks balance now!

FE4: Fire Emblem has country sized maps now!

FE4: Fire Emblem has the player decide the marriages now!

FE4: Fire Emblem has killed off half of its starting cast now!

FE5: Fire Emblem has beginner and blind player unfriendly mechanics now!

FE5: Fire Emblem takes the non-idealized route at saving a country now!

FE6: Fire Emblem has blood now!

FE6: Fire Emblem has spiritual successors to entire games now!

FE6: Fire Emblem has stood on it's own feet without Kaga now!

FE7: Fire Emblem has been localized now!

FE7: Fire Emblem has avatars now!

FE9: Fire Emblem has shapeshifting animals now!

FE9: Fire Emblem has turned a Monty Python joke into a legitimate threat now!

FE11: Fire Emblem has you unlock more characters by killing off even more characters now!

FE12: Fire Emblem has casual mode now!

FE13: Fire Emblem has convinced Nintendo that DLC can be done right now!

FE13: Fire Emblem has lived another day now!

FE13: Fire Emblem has shapeshifting warrior bunnies now!

FE13: Fire Emblem has time travel now!

FE13: Fire Emblem has confirmed that alternative timelines are a thing and technically every playthrough is canon now!

FE15: Fire Emblem has removed Alm's questionable armor now!

FE15: Fire Emblem has a way to go back to an earlier turn now!

Heroes: Fire Emblem has chibi art now!

Heroes: Fire Emblem has alternative costumes now!

BS Fire Emblem: What now?

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5 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

FE2: Fire Emblem has ninja pirates now!

Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles selkie race. Nuff said.

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FE7: Fire Emblem has my first Fire Emblem crush (Lyn) now!
FE8: Fire Emblem has a fun postgame now!
FE11: Fire Emblem has crap gameplay now!
FE13: Fire Emblem has a goddess you can marry now!
FE14: Fire Emblem has incest you can participate in now! And its western release has been ruined by localization now!
FE15: Fire Emblem has really good writing now!
FEH: Fire Emblem has my wallet, happiness, future, and soul now!

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FE1: Fire Emblem is born now!
FE2: Fire Emblem has E X P A N D D O N G armor now!
FE3: Fire Emblem has more stuff for Marth to do now!
FE4: Fire Emblem has a cool plot if rather restrained execution now!
FE5: Fire Emblem has the build of what a True Gamer could ask for in a video game now!
FE6: Fire Emblem has lost every shred of dignity it once had for axing all strategy and difficulty the franchise once had... but at least has Our Boy in Melee now!
FE7: Fire Emblem has ignorant, casual, American hicks who will buy anything as fans now!
FE8: Fire Emblem has incest now!
FE9: Fire Emblem has 3D now!
FE10: Fire Emblem has a Spanish dub now!
FE11: Fire Emblem has a "How Not To Do A Remake" game now!
FE12: Fire Emblem has a feature that should have been in 7 so that we could have married Lyn in that game now!
FE13: Fire Emblem has been deemed worth milking for another decade or two now!
FE14: Fire Emblem has the best girl now!
FE15: Fire Emblem has ridden Alm of his defining appearance now!
FE16: Fire Emblem has expanded on the Roy x Cecilia style romance that began in 6 now!
Warriors: Fire Emblem has been programmed to only work with one button now!
Heroes: Fire Emblem has your money now!
(Does this one count?) Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE: Fire Emblem has trashy weeb filth pop music now!

Edited by Emperor_Siegfried
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Here's more:

FE4: FE has romances that happen in the span of a single chapter now!
FE5: FE has useful ranged weapons for the sword-locked lord now!
FE6: FE has bullshit ambush spawns now!
FE7: FE has a female main character that everyone wants to get *really* intimate with now!
FE8: FE has a female main character that everyone in-universe wants to get *really* intimate with now!
FE9: FE has furries no one gets angry over now!
FE10: FE has switching story-perspectives now!
FE11: FE has brought Marth's game to the west now!
FE12: FE has not brought Marth's other game to the west now!
FE13: FE has Monty Python-style killer bunnies now!
FE14: FE has the worst main characters now!
FE15: FE has the best (female) main character now!
FE16: FE has squicky teacher-student relation implications now!
FEW: FE has stats over 100 now!
FEH: FE has fulfilled many fans' dreams of having an entire harem of Lyn/Tharja/Camilla alts now!
#FE: FE has a crossover with SMT that isn't a crossover with SMT but some kind of weird idol thing now!

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