Lucia: Good day, Count Bastian!
Bastian: Ahhh… Lady Lucia. What an exquisite pleasure. Would you allow me to place a kiss upon your creamy white hand?
Lucia: Sorry, my lord. I’ve been sharpening my blade, and my hands are covered in grime.
Bastian: Nonsense! I have no objections, milady. The grime merely accentuates your beauty.
Lucia: I have objections, Bastian.
Bastian: Ahhh… She addresses me so curtly, but it only stokes my furnace of attraction! It is only in my nature to hunt and pursue a tantalizing beast that flees me! You have such a devious grip on my heart!
Lucia: Don’t even think I’m going to fall for that trick! It might work with the others, but I’m no doe-eyed fawn! Why don’t you just give up already?
Bastian: Ahhh, splendid! This fawn has sharp hooves! But still she spurns my advance… Next time, I shall woo her with words!
Lucia: Count Bastian! Where are you?!
Bastian: Lady Lucia… It’s not like you to be looking for me. Or even acknowledge my existence, for that matter! Ta ha ha!
Lucia: How badly are you hurt? Do I need to tie a tourniquet?
Bastian: A tourniquet? Ta ha ha, aha! No, my dear. I’m not injured. Unless you include the heart which you have so eagerly stomped!
Lucia: You aren’t hurt? Really? I heard a funny-looking man with a mustache suffered a severe injury. Naturally, I assumed it was you. But I see that wasn’t the case.
Bastian: Lady Lucia! You were so concerned with my welfare that you rushed to my aid! Ah! You are a true delight! A magestic–
Lucia: That isn’t the case at all.
Bastian: There’s no use in fighting your feelings! I have already given in to the bottomless pit that is my love for you!
Lucia: Did you not hear me? I already told you how I felt.
Bastian: The more you try to hide it, the more your true feelings show through! You cannot fight true romance any more than you can fight the tides, milady.
Lucia: Arrrggg… Count! Will you please listen to me?!
Bastian: Lady Lucia, I’m not going away until you declare the true, roaring-hot passion you feel for me!
Lucia: Count Bastian… You may talk like you’re completely psychotic, but I know it’s just an act. And as much as I hate to admit it… I don’t think you’re all that bad.
Bastian: Then you feel the same?
Lucia: Well… When the war is over…and Crimea is once again back on her feet… I might consider it. Might.
Bastian: Oh, my beloved!
Lucia: As hard as I’ve tried, you’re just impossible to hate. Oh no… I completely forgot! I need to go help Princess Elincia.
Bastian: W-wait, my love! What are your plans tonight? I’d like to spend it gazing into your sweet–
Lucia: –Sorry! I need to be with the princess. I won’t be free for a long time.
Bastian: Oh, dear…I see the road ahead will be bumpy indeed!